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  <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mari02</id>
  <title>"I'm just a cunning adult."</title>
  <subtitle>Life hides in Fiction. Fiction comes to life.</subtitle>
  <author>
    <name>mari02</name>
  </author>
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  <updated>2020-09-22T04:50:18Z</updated>
  <lj:journal userid="49239859" username="mari02" type="personal"/>
  <link rel="service.feed" type="application/x.atom+xml" href="https://mari02.livejournal.com/data/atom" title="&quot;I'm just a cunning adult.&quot;"/>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mari02:27531</id>
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    <title>i found this</title>
    <published>2020-07-11T16:14:28Z</published>
    <updated>2020-09-22T04:50:18Z</updated>
    <category term="kanjani8"/>
    <content type="html">so i found this link on twitter and it&amp;#39;s amzing&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPBDp1PURo8&amp;amp;feature=youtu.be" target="_blank" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"&gt;128 songs of kanjani8 played on piano for over an hour&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i&amp;#39;m obsessed with piano so this is heaven-sent&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;i usually say that my all time favorites are misetekure, baby baby and BJ.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;but when there&amp;#39;s a medley and THISSSS is a 128-song medley... i&amp;#39;m so confused?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;what&amp;#39;s your favorite kanjani8 song?</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mari02:24684</id>
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    <title>Puzzle (1/10)</title>
    <published>2019-08-09T15:34:07Z</published>
    <updated>2020-01-26T15:30:38Z</updated>
    <category term="tadayoshi ohkura"/>
    <category term="yokoyama you"/>
    <category term="nishikido ryo"/>
    <category term="series: puzzle"/>
    <category term="maruyama ryuhei"/>
    <category term="shibutani subaru"/>
    <category term="murakami shingo"/>
    <category term="yasuda shota"/>
    <content type="html">&lt;div style="white-space:pre-wrap;color:rgb(28, 30, 41);background-image:initial;background-position:initial;background-size:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt"&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;Title: Puzzle&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;Characters: Nishikido Ryo, Okura Tadayoshi, Yokoyama You, Maruyama Ryuhei, Murakami Shingo, Yasuda Shota, Shibutani Subaru&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;Rating: Gen&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;Genre: Angst, Friendship&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;Warning: Character Death&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;Summary: There have been rumors after rumors about Nishikido Ryo quitting Kanjani8 after Shibutani Subaru did. But what if he leaves before the 15sai Tokyo performances start in a way that nobody expected?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;Disclaimer: I don&amp;#39;t own anyone except the plot, of course.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;span style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;Author&amp;#39;s Note: Please don&amp;#39;t hate me. I&amp;#39;m just so tired of the rumors floating around I feel like trying to see Nishikido Ryo leaving Kanjani8 in a different light. This is fiction, anyway. Also, Ryo, &amp;quot;Please do not die. I hope you can sing for the rest of your life.&amp;quot; Ha! Stole that from you!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div style="background-image:initial;background-position:initial;background-size:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt"&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="white-space:pre-wrap;color:rgb(28, 30, 41);background-image:initial;background-position:initial;background-size:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt"&gt;&lt;div style="background-image:initial;background-position:initial;background-size:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt"&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;Chapter 1: TORN&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;Okura doesn&amp;#39;t want to do this. He&amp;#39;d rather lock himself inside his room for days until everything is over. But they have divided their tasks already, and this is what&amp;#39;s left of him to do. He needs to get a few things from Ryo&amp;#39;s apartment, and he needs to get it done today. If he doesn&amp;#39;t, he wouldn&amp;#39;t be strolling, taking all the time he can to delay the inevitable.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But this is not what he expected to see when he gets inside Ryo&amp;#39;s apartment. Everyone knows how messy his place has always been. Yet, the shoes at the genkan are sitting neatly now. The sink in the kitchen doesn&amp;#39;t have a single plate or glass for him to wash. Hell, even the futon had been tucked away nicely in the closet. They were just in Fukuoka, sure, and in Osaka a few days before that. Ryo knew that he&amp;#39;d be away for quite some time. But Okura hates the thought that he cleaned his place before leaving for their tour.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It&amp;#39;s like he knew something was going to happen.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okura wants to throw up.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;Ryo-chan said he was coming to my place, so I cleaned my apartment. But in the end, he didn&amp;#39;t show up.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He tries to remember the last time he was here, but he can&amp;#39;t. He and Ryo haven&amp;#39;t bonded in a long time, let alone visit each other&amp;#39;s places just for fun. They used to hang out a lot when they were younger. But as the years went by, they found themselves surrounded by different sets of friends.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;That would have been fine. It was unspoken, but Okura and Ryo were both satisfied with seeing each other at work and still managed to enjoy each other&amp;#39;s company. But what happens now? How will things change?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Just thinking about it makes his head hurt.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He walks towards Ryo&amp;#39;s drawers to find his favorite cap when he notices a sound coming from the bathroom. He didn&amp;#39;t realize earlier, but the lights are on. Who could it be? Does anybody else have a key to Ryo&amp;#39;s apartment? The building manager didn&amp;#39;t tell him that someone else was here when he got the key he just used.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okura tries to find his voice, still hoarse from last night, and calls out to whoever is inside. He&amp;#39;s yet to have a decent sleep, and it irritates him that he&amp;#39;s not getting any answer. But after a few moments, he hears the knob turn and watches the light disappear.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Standing in front of him, he sees Ryo, clearly amused that he&amp;#39;s here.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okura&amp;#39;s heart stops for a moment. This can&amp;#39;t be true.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;quot;Oi!&amp;quot; he hears Ryo snarls as he walks toward him. He doesn&amp;#39;t know what to do. What is happening? Is he hallucinating? Should he run for his life?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In the end, he stands still. He stands still until Ryo comes so damn close that he feels his breath.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ryo is breathing right in front of him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;quot;How did you get inside? Are you here to bring my phone? Because I&amp;#39;ve been looking for it since I woke up, but I couldn&amp;#39;t find the damn thing.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okura doesn&amp;#39;t know what to do. What is he supposed to say, even?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;quot;You&amp;#39;re staring like you&amp;#39;ve seen a ghost. That&amp;#39;s rude, you know.&amp;quot; Ryo turns around and reaches for his pants instead. It&amp;#39;s still so hot in Tokyo, so he doesn&amp;#39;t bother to get at least a sleeveless shirt. But from where&amp;#39;s Okura&amp;#39;s standing, he could see a large bruise on Ryo&amp;#39;s chest that he doesn&amp;#39;t even know if the other noticed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;quot;Ryo-chan,&amp;quot; he starts, not knowing what to say at all. &amp;quot;When did you get home?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He looks at him casually. Okura&amp;#39;s being weird today, but he tries to think of an answer anyway. &amp;quot;Last night? This morning? My memory&amp;#39;s pretty hazy. Probably had too much of a good time,&amp;quot; he smirks.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;quot;Ryo-chan,&amp;quot; Okura&amp;#39;s legs are getting shaky he feels like passing out. But he tries to muster all the courage to get close to Ryo again and touch him. He feels like he&amp;#39;s choking and it&amp;#39;s getting harder to breathe. &amp;quot;You&amp;#39;re real. You&amp;#39;re here. I can touch you.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;His comments only earn him a loud &amp;quot;Ha?&amp;quot; before receiving a smack at the back of his head. But Okura doesn&amp;#39;t mind it at all. Instead, he grabs and hugs Ryo and finally let his tears fall.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As expected, Ryo tries to get away from Okura. &amp;quot;What the hell is wrong with you, Okura? Why are you crying, for fuck&amp;#39;s sake?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He takes his time to let all his emotions out. All he did was cry since last night, but apparently, he hasn&amp;#39;t run out of tears yet. Okura pinches his nose, blinks way too many times, and even slap his face to make sure that he isn&amp;#39;t dreaming. And when he keeps seeing the man in front of him, he feels torn between telling Ryo the truth or leaving him alone to figure this out all by himself.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But he can&amp;#39;t do that. Not to Ryo. Not when he&amp;#39;s alone in this apartment, living a day Okura doesn&amp;#39;t even know what is. Ryo&amp;#39;s totally clueless. So, Okura takes a deep breath and says, &amp;quot;Because you&amp;#39;re not supposed to be here anymore, Ryo-chan. You&amp;#39;re not even supposed to be real.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ryo&amp;#39;s eyes darken as he frowns. &amp;quot;Are you stoned? What the fuck do you even mean?&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okura&amp;#39;s feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place. But he suddenly thinks about Maru&amp;#39;s Saturday Plus! So, instead of facing Ryo&amp;rsquo;s wrath, he opens the television and turns the volume up.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The camera focuses on Maru alone, his eyes red and puffy. It&amp;#39;s clear that he&amp;#39;s crying like a baby on national television. Ryo notes that he hasn&amp;#39;t cried like this in ages. &amp;quot;What the hell is happening?&amp;quot; he asks. But as he turns to Okura to demand answers, his vision starts to blur until everything turns dark.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="white-space:pre-wrap;color:rgb(28, 30, 41);background-image:initial;background-position:initial;background-size:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt"&gt;&lt;p style="background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mari02:20046</id>
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    <title>Hello</title>
    <published>2019-04-22T10:58:59Z</published>
    <updated>2020-07-06T08:51:46Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;p&gt;Still trying to figure out why I deleted all my posts from 2010-2013 before going on fandom hiatus. It's 2019 and I'm backkkkkk!&lt;/p&gt;</content>
  </entry>
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