Dear Friends,

I’ve been in a pretty consistent conversation with one of my best friends, Ally Bogard, about the idea that maybe the big purpose of the human experience during this time is simply to find ways to sell each other things. Every day, the majority of us wake up, get dressed (or not), and begin whatever our work is that ultimately contributes to, or is directly selling the product, idea, writing, experience, body, coaching, healing, etc etc. And if for some reason you are not a seller in some shape or form, then most likely you are still a buyer.

What if this is really the human experience now, or at least what it has turned into? We laugh (cry) about the fact that within all of the mysticism and gorgeous magic of the Universe, the big cosmic joke is just… to buy and sell stuff. Fuck.

It’s impossible not to feel this when we are constantly being sold and selling to others at every turn, unless we fully check out and disappear into nature with everything we need to live untouched by the machine.

In all of the talking and writing I have done about the closure of my business, one of the things I share most is the unplugging from the machine, the deliberate act of stepping away from selling people things. I speak to the huge relief it’s been on my system to not have to constantly tell people to buy things they don’t need. We’ve all seen the meme of the earnest person trying to sell their product with a screen behind them showing the world on fire.

This past week was Climate Week here in NYC. For a lot of us who are in some version of sustainability work, it has become a bit like our fashion week. People fly from all over the world (yes, the irony is not lost on me), from different sectors to participate and attend panels, conferences and events focused on the climate crisis and to hear from the people and organizations working tirelessly on solutions to combat it. The week can feel both devastating and hopeful. There is so much heart in those spaces and inevitably heartbreak. I often come back to this and consider gratitude to be interchangeable with hope (this is its own discussion, isn’t it?..):

I attended a few really meaningful events that were able to hold both the grief-inducing facts of our increasingly rapid man-made environmental crisis in one hand and the artistry, science, hope and LOVE in the other. I sat on two panels, one at the UN that was centered around Circularity and how the concept applies to the fashion industry. The other was titled “Do We Really Need Another Fashion Brand,” a conversation moderated by Erin Allweiss between David Gelles, author of Dirtbag Billionaire: The Story of Patagonia’s Founder Yvon Chouinard, Luciana Batista Pereira, sourcing director of Veja, and myself.

I have sat on many panels in the past as the woman running a fashion company doing meaningful work in the environmental, policy, and “humanity” space. My new role, or as I like to think of it, has been to be proof of life after closing a brand. Now, I get to be this new mythology for others to watch. The person who consciously chose to stop.

In this panel, I spoke a lot about the idea of Enough. When do we each hit our own level of enough, whether we are corporations or individuals? When can we finally feel the weight of our wanting, making, needing more things squeezing the breath out of us to the point of waking up from the machine?

Two days before I sat on these panels, talking about all the “enough,” I got an email from someone after I sent out the Tarot reading post. They wrote:

“Your posts are feeling a bit like advertisements, maybe that’s what they are intended to be. I just wanted to share my thoughts.”

OUCH.

It hit me like an arrow right in my tenderest spot. At first I was scared. Like, oh NO, does what I’m doing here just feel like more selling to people? Did I totally get this Substack thing wrong? And am I incapable of not selling because it’s so deeply ingrained in me? Do I even know who I am? HELLLLLLPPP…

My next thought was, WHO IS THIS PERSON? Who takes time to send an email like this instead of just unsubscribing? Does this person even exist? OR did I create this perfectly timed, uncomfortable email just to allow myself to confront the question: am I actually capable of unplugging? Will I forever just be selling people things in one way or another?

One thing I have learned to do is that when things show up in my life I first ask myself, what part of ME is this? Which part of me is bringing it into “reality” to have to face it and grow from it. And Yes, I believe we are all this powerful.

After a week of chewing on this and letting it work me, I’ve come to this:

As far as unplugging from the machine, I know that closing my business was what I needed to do to release the current I had been plugged into for so long. Whatever I decide to create, share, or even sell now or in the future will be met with the same consciousness I brought to my work before coupled with the awareness I have NOW. That’s what I know at this moment.

Often, when I feel the sting of judgment, my first impulse is to retreat and disappear. I know this reaction is rarely my truest one. After a few breaths and some soundboarding with my trusted people, I return to a deeper truth: we are powerful co-contributors to this “reality.”

Perhaps Tyler Durden was onto something; there is no true “other” in this story. In some ways, maybe it’s all just a vivid, intense, and perfectly imperfect dream where we are playing the role of ALL the characters. And so, in actuality, it was really the perfect email to receive.

I’ll leave you with this:

Please…

BECOME A PAID SUPPORTER

LOL.

With tremendous love and compassion for each of us, as we carry complex things and keep striving to do it all a little better.

Yours,

Mara

AND NOW…

A few of the outfits I wore during both Fashion and Climate Week… (We’re leaning all the way into the paradoxes here folks).

Note that all of these looks are pieces I have had in my closet for years (except the black suit). Let them serve as inspo and a reminder that it still feels good to wear things you love.

Vintage suit I bought at A Current Affair, my dad’s undershirt, Upcycled carpet bag from Puebco Inc, Gold heels from Rachel Comey many seasons ago.