MANIPULATED

oh this has gotta be a good life

2011-12-14T07:36:12Z

sp cast assemble
idk just get in here and post threads, roll all over each other etc

( sirens pull shadow event post )

2011-12-10T07:06:47Z

Daaaaaave.

He's yet to realize what's going on, but he knows it's inordinately dark tonight - and cold, colder than the cold he's slowly come to recognize as normal around here. It's like someone's sucked all the warmth out of the atmosphere somehow. And it's not just the weather, it's everything. It feels like there's no such thing as warmth and comfort, like there never will be again. And he doesn't understand that feeling, doesn't know why he feels it so suddenly and doesn't know why it came on so suddenly. Ever since he stepped out into the Darkness to do his dirty work. Track down and eliminate some hellbeasts and get home in time for a shitty microwave dinner. Just like the good ol' days, only now it's a lot more real and there's no TV screen and wireless controller between him and the action. The baseball diamond, where it all began. There's a light out there in the distance so he heads that way, it'll be a good place to stop and get his bearings. Double check the beastie he's supposed to be hunting tonight.

And that's when he sees it. Not "him," not "them," not a person. An "it." He thinks it's another resident of the port at first, maybe someone else who's working. Or maybe they're lost. He's not the conversational sort and he doesn't make a beeline for the figure standing alone under the milky lamplight, they just so happen to have the same destination. Why bother them, anyway, he's got work to do. But then as he gets closer he realizes with a jolt in the back of his mind that this figure standing out here alone in the dark is watching him. It's standing still and watching him, staring intently without even blinking. As he gets closer he realizes it's someone his own age, about the same height and build. Another kid. As he gets closer he realizes... it's himself that he's looking at. Only there's something wrong with it. For one thing, the posture is all wrong. The way it's standing, the way it's inclining its head. The outfit is wrong. The expression on its face is wrong. As he gets closer he realizes it's not wearing the mandatory sunglasses—it's purposely wearing them up on its forehead. He might have been able to suspect that it's simply an alternate version of himself, a timeline gone astray somehow or maybe one that's just arrived from the Medium the same way he himself had not that long ago, but there's something too off about it for that to be correct. He doesn't know what it is about this thing but it stops him in his tracks.

Its eyes are yellow. Bright fucking yellow and unfeeling and its expression is listless and bored even as it continues to follow and search Dave with its gaze and he gets the sneaking suspicion that it can see into him somehow. Like it can tell what he's thinking, like it can smell his feelings and see his own eyes right through those sunglasses. Watching. Waiting. And when Dave doesn't come any closer the face changes. It denotes a sort of childlike quality that he doesn't recognize, can't remember ever having, and although he's seen himself in other incarnations, moving in action, plenty of times before, there's something that really strikes him about this. His eyebrows raise while the figure under the lamp's furrow, lips drawing into what could easily be called a pout. Like it's been denied something it was hoping for. Like a disappointed child. "What's the matter, Daaaaave?" The voice sounds eerie and wrong and it sends a chill up his spine, the tone and inflection and the fact that it, too, sounds childish and unreal and yet there's something to it, something taunting, something... threatening. "Don't you want to come any closer?" And then it takes a sudden twist, like life pouring into it, aggression and amusement and a rough impudence like an elementary school bully on the playground. "You're not scaaaaared, are you? Chicken! Bawk bawk!" And it starts flapping its arms like a chicken, for what he guesses is definitely not ironic purposes.

In short, this is fucked up. It starts laughing at him—outright laughing without holding back at all. He's not sure he's ever made such a sound in his entire laugh and it along with the weird, shadowy cadence to its voice just sounds creepy and wrong. It makes his hair stand on end, goosebumps prickle on his skin. He finds himself frowning at the mockery, but it's not that he's being taunted, it's how. It's by what. This cheap, fake image of himself that's clearly trying to get his goat by acting like such a jackass. By wearing that ridiculous heart shirt. By revealing its eyes, which are almost demonic in nature and yet still just as lively and expressive as his own are, though there's not a chance in hell he'd ever admit to having expressive eyes. The laughter goes on for a long moment and even from this distance he can feel the aggression, the spite, the hatred pouring off the figure standing under the murky light. Even if he's not showing them, he can sense it—it's feeding off his reactions. Relishing in the indignation it's raising in him. He tries to stiffen up and hold it back. After all, this is just a stupid joke, right? It's just another Port monster that can imitate someone's appearance. You see it in the movies all the time. His expression goes flat again and he relaxes his shoulders. The laughter dies down just a little. "Are you done?"

The figure pauses and then it bites its lip and giggles, straight up giggles, shoulders jumping and head shaking. Then it looks him straight in the eye and there's menace, something downright vicious in its expression even while it's snickering like a petulant child in the face of a scolding. "No way, man. We're just getting started, you and me! Ha ha ha!" More laughter. Does this thing ever stop? Seeing this kind of asinine behavior on something that looks so much like him is incredibly unnerving. It's just a fake, just a monster trying to get your goat for ironic purposes, he reminds himself. It's not real. "But I am real! I am the true self," it says suddenly, and he feels a surge of alarm. It knows what he's thinking. "Your better half! And I came out to play with you. Just you, Dave. This is going to be soooo much goddamn fun!" And it throws back its head and howls with shrieking laughter while the chills roll down his spine.

This shit's more real than Kraft mayo, Daaaaave.

THE COVERAGE: C.F.H.S.

C: Cool Factor (and the lack thereof)
The first thing Shadow Dave is going to tear down is the notion Dave carries both outwardly and inwardly of being "cool," as instructed and developed in theory by his bro and opinions of others. Henceforth known as "Cool Factor" (CF), it is both a means of finding a groove to fit in where he will be approved of and also a means of coping, of dealing with his feelings around others and by himself. An as-needed facade. And of course there's "irony" to explain away everything else. But of course Shadow Dave knows better. And he'll make a point of ripping that one in half in every possible way.

Outwardly, Shadow Dave will be disposing of the crucial ingredient in the coolkid wardrobe: his sunglasses. They'll start off on top of his head but Shadow Dave will later drive the point home by throwing them on the ground and stepping on them in an unironic temperamental tantrum. He's also going to be highly animated visually, using a lot of hand gestures to accentuate his speech and also using very telling facial expressions. Big smiles and laughter for the "happy," full-on pouting for the "sad," teeth grinding and a twitchy eye for the "angry." Pretty much the whole works as far as not hiding one's feelings go.

And as far as the inner stuff goes, Shadow Dave's behavior will be distinctly uncool in that he will be very communicative about his thoughts and feelings (and Dave's too, of course, that boy can't hide anything from his Shadow), also incredibly childish and demanding in nature. He'll be prone to rapid and occasionally unexplainable moodswings and may even seem a little... off his rocker from time to time. Definitely nothing cool and collected here, although this is less of an inability and more of a purposeful attempt at getting Dave's earth goat for unironic purposes.

Dissolving Dave's CF will be like taking away his security blanket of sorts and that'll leave him way more susceptible to everything else his Shadow has up his sleeve. That, and facing himself (or something that looks and sounds mostly like himself) makes it a whole lot harder to fake, particularly when that other self can read his mind and keeps calling him out on it.

F: Feelings (the ones he has a lot of)
They say that downplaying one's feelings is the Quintessential Rule of Cool. This is a standard that Dave adheres to strongly, and having had the "cool" barrier broken down, there won't be a lot to stand in-between him and falling down all those feels he's got locked up in there. The most notable one will be anger and outrage, because it definitely won't take him long to get sick of his Shadow's bullshit. His temper might become such that he'll try to attack his Shadow, even to no avail, which will in turn lead to more taunting, which will provoke Dave even further.

And then comes the rest. Shadow Dave will touch on Dave's insecurity and inferiority complexes the most (the latter detailed further below), calling him out on being helpless and in need of guidance, that he doesn't know who he even is, actually, and that when it comes down to it he's just a lost child. There'll be plenty of prodding at the open wound that is Dave's sadness over losing Bro and how dependent he actually is on him, as well as on his friends and that on his own he's nothing, useless.

There won't be a lot of happy feels coming into play here. Shadow Dave may deem it appropriate to tease Dave about how deeply he truly cares for the people that are close to him - Terezi, the other kids, Bro - but for the most part he'll be playing that up to be a weakness and nothing else. Because if you're sooooo cooooool, how come it's still so obvious how you feel about your little friends, Daaaaave?

Another thing Shadow Dave will be bringing up will be Dave's fear. Fear of his own death and of not being accepted and how it's held him back, and also fear of losing anyone else. From there he'll go into the next bullet point, having successfully knocked Dave down another peg.

H: Heroism (aka the hero that never was)
You know you're not a hero, Dave, but you still want to be anyway, don't you! But you can't save anybody. Everyone ends up dead and it's all because of you and there's nothing you can do about it.

This one will be short, but it'll come in from the direction of Dave's inability to protect anyone or to get anything right and will lead in the direction of Dave's inferiority toward the people he thinks are heroes rather than himself. Shadow Dave will bring up his supposed competition with both Bro and John and make Dave out to be the obvious loser in both cases.

S: Shadows (the ones he's been living in)
And lastly, Shadow Dave will drive the nail in the coffin by pointing out how Dave will never be as good as the others, never as strong or as capable and definitely not as cool. That even with Bro dead he's still never going to be at the top of the irony echeladder and isn't that a shame to let your poor bropops down like that? You're pathetic, Dave. And let's talk about how you're too much of a coward to reach god tier like John, so you'll always be second place to him on that one, too. John's going to save the world and you're just going along for the ride because there's nothing else you can do.

And to think you'd be able to break out of this lousy lame shell if only you weren't such a chicken shit! Ha ha ha! But that's okay, Daaaave. You and me, we can be hopeless together. We don't need anyone else, and that's why we push people away. Just lay back and rest that weary little head of yours and let me take care of everything. I can do better than you. Your friends will love me and they'll never even notice you're gone! Because after all, Dave.

I am you.

Cue the magic words and a boss fight.

FINAL BOSS

When Dave finally snaps and starts vehemently rejecting his Shadow, it'll transform into, appropriately, a very crow-looking motherfucker. The picture below pretty much sums it up, only the facial features will be more distorted and blurry and sort of... faded, denoting Dave's uncertain self-image. Also appropriately, the Shadow will have a familiar looking shitty ninja sword through the stomach, reminiscent of both Bro's murder and of Davesprite (failed cases, more or less) which it will be able to remove and attack with at will. Shadow Dave will be fire-based and weak to ice. It will also have a high speed stat, fairly high attack, but very low defense. It will be able to timefreeze opponents for a limited span and, of course, will be able to flashstep everywhere just like any Strider can. Its voice will distort heavily and be difficult to make out but will be very shrill, like a crow screech, and most of what it'll be doing during the fight is laughing.

Sayonara, coolkid.

( this could be para para paradise )

2011-12-07T07:34:45Z

[ Gino's a fan of a sense of normality. he likes fun and adventure and to change things up, but something familiar to fall back on is always appreciated. especially in certain cases where he feels he needs it. such as being alone on his twenty-second birthday. he realized then that he needed to get back into the swing of something that made him happy, and of course there could only be one answer for that.

he wished himself up the Midgar Blues, the bar he ran with Kallen back on Atia.

since then it's been all fun and games, just like the good ol' days. if there aren't enough patrons he can wish for more, when he runs out of something he can wish it into restocking. it's two years of his working life made simple. and it brings back such good memories. it makes him feel good, too. to be back in his old uniform with the towel over his shoulder and a tumbler in his hand, impressing the fine ladies (and gents) with some handiwork with the bottles. he's never been much of a juggler, but tossing them around and pouring behind his back just to show off, why not. and a downright killer smile the entire time, good lord. it really does feel good. he doesn't need a single drop to feel drunk off the energy in there, even if the place isn't booming. someone who came in picked a good track on the jukebox, pretty jazzy, a nice fit for the low lights and the warm atmosphere.

with everyone currently taken care of, Gino just leans forward on the counter, resting his weight on his forearm and gazes out happily into the lounge. man. he should've started doing this again sooner. ]

( can you paint with all the colors )

2011-10-15T22:49:26Z

[ it's a bro's-night-in kinda night in the Strider household. except for the part where Bro himself isn't actually home, but that's okay. that just means Dave can turn the tv up without getting his ass kicked and can have his friend over without having to constantly rescue him from a bunch of fucking boobytrapped every day objects (he will never forgive himself for forgetting to warn John to watch the toilet seat that one time). their base of operations started in Dave's room but moved to the living room in favor of playing some shitty skateboarding games on the big TV, with practically the entire room littered with snacks and bottles of whatever and pillows and whatever tossed on the floor because fuck throw pillows, okay. they're about as functionally useless as trolls in wheelchairs.

zing.

at this current moment, Dave is actually getting quite competitive in this particular round of Shitty Skateboarding Game, since he's been slacking off and not actually winning, and would very much like to make up for that by getting All Of The Points and putting John Fucking Egbert in his Place. second place. which is where he belongs. under Dave in the hierarchy of points getting by exactly one slot. ]

Seriously dude, the only way you can cheat at this game is to do the same thing over and over, and that's exactly what you're doing. Cheater.

( long after i'm gone you'll still be humming along )

2011-10-07T09:03:25Z

[ there's nothing more fun for a couple of bros to do than go to a carnival, right? a completely legit one, too, not just one of those bootleg traveling sons of bitches that are gone with the morning light. this place has got everything under the sun, something for both of them to get into. ironic and hideous stuffed animals for Dave to add to his collection and geeky shit for John, magic tricks and whatever, he can't judge (except he pretends to, but heckling each other over their interests is kinda their thing, no big deal).

and then there are the rides. which they definitely had no reason to jump on immediately, doing the most awesome ones first and then going down the line until the only thing left was the ferris wheel - and why not hit that one, too? there's not much of a line and it's getting to be about the time when any self-respecting human being with knowledge of the predictable and cliche would want to be on a ferris wheel. sundown, what a great view. sigh, so breathtaking. or whatever.

and then, predictably and clichely, the ferris wheel gets stuck. at first they're only partway up but soon the thing creaks to a grinding halt at the very top and Dave almost asks aloud if this is for real. is he in a romantic comedy suddenly or did this really just happen? seriously.

after about five minutes it becomes apparent that a) this is for real, yes, and b) they're not going to be coming down any time soon. it's starting to get dark, but there's just enough light for Dave to be able to see what's going on down there if he leans over, which he doesn't make a habit out of. and by the seventh minute in, he sighs and stretches an arm out across the back of the car and around John's shoulders, stretching his legs out. just to be funny, of course. ]

Well, this is exciting. Should've made bets on the level of extremes this trope was going to go to before we got on, you'd be owing me so much money.

manipulated @ 2011-10-05T20:59:00

2011-10-06T03:59:19Z

vriska/tavros

It's for your own good.
You can't handle the pressure!
8ye-8ye, Pupa Pan.

--

wHAT IS "GOOD ENOUGH,"
iT'S SOMETHING, i CAN'T BE, bUT,
i'LL STILL TRY, fOR YOU,

terezi/dave

H3Y D4V3 1S TH1S YOU?
TH3 COOLK1D 1N FRONT OF M3
TH3 ON3 THAT SM3LLS GOOD

--

dude whats with your tongue
looks like black licorice but
sure dont taste like it

gamzee/tavros

I gOt My FlUsH oN
aIn'T gOtTa Up AnD tElL yOu
We'Re CoOl JuSt LiKe ThIs.

--

i'M GLAD i'M YOUR FRIEND,
yOU TREAT ME LIKE i'M, nORMAL,
aND NOT, a LOSER,

nepeta/karkat

:33 > on my shipping wall
:33 > the one i drew of us is
:33 > my favfurite one!

--

I COULDN'T SAVE YOU.
I COULDN'T SAVE ANY OF THEM.
BUT YOURS WAS THE WORST.

sollux/aradia

why couldn't you have 2tayed
it'2 all gone two 2hiit 2iince then.
at lea2t you're 2afe now.

--

i h0pe y0u werent
all that upset when i left
everythings 0k now

john/jade

next time, when we meet
we can do it the right way.
no dying this time.

--

thank you for being there!!
it wasn't so bad with you
there until the end.

gamzee/dave

i like when it hurts
what the hell is wrong with me
this is so stupid

--

i want you to pay.
EVERYTHING IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
scream, motherfucker. >:o)

rose/john

In spite of the risk,
We started this together.
That's how we'll finish.

--

we make the best team.
you and me, doing it all.
i won't let you down.

rose/kanaya

A verbal standoff.
Impressed with your eloquence.
More words, please say them.

--

I'll Say As Many Words
As You Want As Long As You
Promise To Listen.

eridan/feferi

wwhy couldnt you just stop
screwwin around wwith me fef
wwe coulda been great

--

You used to be cool!
W)(at )(appened to my morail?
)(e needs to change back.

gamzee/karkat

been alone awhile.
I NEEDED YOU, BROTHER.
fucking needed you. >:o(

--

AND FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH
THE ONE WHO'S A SHITTY FRIEND
IS ME AND NOT YOU.

( sweet, wonderful you )

2011-09-28T01:44:37Z

[ so Dungeons and Dragons didn't quite work out. of course, he'd never tried playing the human version before, but even while trying to take it seriously, and before they'd gotten one or two coolers involved, it was only a matter of time before they started treating it more like Monopoly with storytelling.

and then eventually just overturning the board and laughing, one more casualty to their shenanigans during this bro's-night-in, added to the pile of pizza boxes in the corner (many of which still contained large amounts of pizza. not a testament to small appetites but rather to poor judgment--milky ways and mango slices as toppings were only good in theory, never in practice, although Tavros had been surreptitiously devouring the onion ring pizza whenever he thought he wasn't being watched).

he's only just finished laughing over whatever it was they'd just done that was so funny, sighing in a relaxed sort of way. John's sure fun to spend time with, he can count the number of friends he feels so good around on one hand. and even then, he's probably still in the top three (which actually isn't saying much since there are only four on that hand to begin with). ]

I guess, maybe, we'll have to find a different game to play. One that doesn't have so many, uhh, regulations to observe, or, not observe, as it were.

manipulated @ 2011-09-14T22:28:00

2011-09-15T05:28:42Z

IC TEXTING
it's not a meme

beat inside me, leave you blind

2011-08-11T23:32:55Z

[ He's pretty sure he hates the rain. It's a little excessive, he thinks, to have got caught in a summer shower when he already feels like shit, and doesn't do his pallor any favours with darkened curls sticking to pale cheeks, droplets gleaming on a blue scarf tucked tightly inside a button-down coat. It's almost as rigid as his old Rounds uniform, taking comfort from the fact something is in place and exactly where it ought to be, even if they're just fastenings. For a good twenty minutes, he stands outside the door, leaning slightly against the wall as he rephrases what he's been reiterating since before he took Lelouch home and out of harm's way.

I know I didn't give you any warning, but he needs me.

I'm sorry to do this, but his suffering hasn't ended.

I'm his knight. I have to do this.

Suzaku likes the sound of the latter, if only because it's the one that sounds the least like an excuse and closer to reality. Throat closing up, he tries not to think how difficult it was getting his head around sleeping with someone else, even if that person was his best friend and first lover. It didn't work (Could we just go to sleep?) and he finds himself at a loss for how to recall Lelouch's kisses, entirely distracted by the vivid memory of Gino's. With every fibre of his being, he knows Lelouch needs him. That isn't something he doubts. But.

If he could stand in the lightening drizzle all day, he would, but Suzaku resolutely turns to face the door and knocks thrice, leather-gloved hands balling into fists at his sides as he takes several deep breaths and smooths out his expression; if he concentrates hard enough, he can almost keep the pained frown off his face.

How could anything possibly be this hard? It's beyond what he anticipated and the shock of that is enough to make him really hate these actions on a whole other level. ]

( would you lay with me and just forget the world? )

2011-08-07T06:16:54Z

[ sleepovers were something Tavros was actually fairly familiar with, having been to quite a few back in his roleplaying days. he was pretty much counted as "one of the girls," which was never explicitly said but properly implied because he was fully capable of participating in giggle sessions and all that (just no dress-up, please PLEASE). it'd been awhile since then, though, not since the incident. maybe they just didn't think he'd be as much fun now that he was stuck in a chair. also, everyone was kind of messed up and not getting along as well, so there was also that.

so going to hang out with Gamzee at his hive was starting to sound like a whole lot of fun and he was excited to get there. since he hadn't been told explicitly what to bring with him, he'd just decided on a bag of the essentials and also his favorite movie (which is, of course, the one about Pupa Pan), and a video game, A Grub That Embarks On A Quest To Capture A Large Number Of Alternian Wildlife Beasts And Encounters Many Obstacles Along The Way Including A Very Rude Rival And Some Executives Of Note But Ultimately The Grub Is Able To Capture All The Beasts And Becomes The Battler Of Highest Repute: Version Of More Vivid Color Than Previously Released Versions.

best game ever.

and, of course, a nice fluffy blanket to curl up in, which isn't quite as soothing as sopor slime is for bad dreams, but still quite comforting and his combination futon/vehicle four-wheel rolling device, which he's definitely riding up to Gamzee's door in. gosh, how neat, he lives so close to the water.

knock knock! ]

( the final sentence you ever uttered to me was "love," )

2011-08-04T09:11:21Z

[ he was warned about stairs, man. he was told. but the need for challenging a certain adversary was greater than his ineptitude at walking, even with his fancy new robot legs. it definitely wasn't the first time he'd thrown caution to the wind and paid the price for it, but this particular instance resulted in him hitting basically every stair while upside down and then landing on the ground between the first and second flights hard enough that the last thing he could remember was his lance clattering on the metal floor next to him, and then quiet, cold darkness. ]

Ngh...

[ he's not sure how long he's been out for--minutes, hours, days? but as he rouses himself and slowly sits up to look around, the memory of that painful stairfall makes itself clear in the form of several bumps and bruises, a cut here and there. his lance is nowhere to be seen and there's colors streaked along the ground and the wall, green and purplish. blood? definitely not his.

somehow it seems weirdly quiet as he slowly wobbles to his feet, using the blood-streaked wall (which he carefully avoids putting his hands on) for balance. what happened? ]

( feel the rhythms hear the voices )

2011-07-22T10:52:09Z

[ and suddenly there's a stillness that settles over Shibuya like a blanket of snow on the ground, muffling every sound, stifling every sight. but then there's an explosion of light and sound and color and Shibuya almost sounds like it's screaming. Sho's so exhausted that the rush of energy and power is almost too much for him to take; reigning Shibuya in is a struggle and it takes a long time before he can Compose a new heartbeat for his city.

and once he does he heads straight for the quietest place he knows of so he can listen to it, and also so he can revel in his success while recovering at the same time. that's his pad now, thank you very much. the glass floor can stay, it feels cool on his hot skin when he simply goes and lays down on it, shrugging his jacket off.

mmh. his own invigorated pulse and Shibuya's are the same. ]

manipulated @ 2011-07-09T02:46:00

2011-07-09T09:46:05Z

7 minutes in HEAVEN

Stuck in a closet! It won't open until you do something with that person stuck in there with you. ♥ Feel free to exceed that seven minute time limit, honhon.

manipulated @ 2011-06-19T22:45:00

2011-06-20T05:45:04Z

txting meme use "tt" or "font face=courier"!

( mais je t'adore encore )

2011-06-06T06:15:18Z

[ Gino needs to get out of the house. he's been all over this fabricated, easily-manipulated city (and screwed around with it a little, wishing weird things on it just to see if it would work), and he's taken the trains back and forth in time. he's been back to Britannia and he's been to Japan before it was Area 11 and he's been to Area 11 before it was Japan again, he's even been to a distant, American island! but you know where he hasn't been?

the Euroverse.

why not see the Euro Universe, huh? he's got relatives there! his grandparents! one of his brothers, a cousin or two or twenty, and several of his childhood instructors.

... that is one good reason why he decides that the Euroverse he knows is not where he wants to wish himself to. he wants to see it and actually enjoy it, maybe see someone he really wants to... see.

and that's how Gino winds up in Bristol, right on Maxxie's doorstep (although, of course, he honestly has no idea whether the magic wishing air got it right and that's where he is). it's a common looking place, and didn't Maxxie say he was from the hood? but how is he supposed to know whether this is even the right city or the right country or the right planet? after wandering around the complex for a few minutes, trying to find a clue on his whereabouts, he finally returns to the apartment he landed in front of and. knocks awkwardly.

oh god what if it's not Maxxie at the door. even if his parents answer the door, what is he supposed to say, "Hi! I'm Maxxie's husband"?

gurl. ]

manipulated @ 2011-05-31T21:49:00

2011-06-01T04:49:37Z

[Jeremiah isn't the type of man to back down on his word. He puts his money where his mouth is, and he's damned proud of that fact. Too many men he's known throughout the years, both within the aristocracy and the military, have talked big, but when it came down to it, they just weren't up to guff. Not him. He has the will and the means to go through with what he says, and he won't allow himself less, for the sake of his pride.

Or at least, such is typical. But right now, he's starting to wonder if maybe the wine was talking and not him, because as he's sobering up, he's also coming to the realization of what he's agreed to. What's about to happen. But Gino had challenged him, and- well okay, so he hadn't exactly challenged him, so to speak, but he might as well have, right? And he isn't about to let some cocky little blond brat show him up. "Old-fashioned prude" his ass.

Still, he's probably staring ahead of him with more uncertainty and apprehension than he thinks he's ever had in his life for something as typically innocuous as a closet.]

... In here?

( give me all your love, don't share it with someone else )

2011-04-22T01:38:21Z

[ clock tower, huh. he remembers his place, somehow. the tower itself is familiar, at least, but the rest of it doesn't seem to ring a bell. still, the familiarity of the tower is good enough, and he scales it for a better vantage point, shielding his eyes against the setting sun on the horizon. he also remembers kicking a certain princess' ass up on this here tower (or at least, that's how he remembers it), grinning in that smug way of his as he circles the narrow ledge and looks out at the town below him.

no trash heaps in sight, and not a single wall with graffiti on it. that's just no good. even with his vibe strangely downtuned here, he's sure he could at least construct a masterpiece for these zetta boring people to remember him by. ]

manipulated @ 2011-04-12T19:40:00

2011-04-12T18:41:12Z

[ The sunny summer peace is pierced by the confident strumming of a guitar filtering through the windows outside the house, Suzaku leaning back on a leftover palm tree, as out of place as the poor thing but just as happy to be there in the garden, ankles crossed and curly head up. In his arms is the battered guitar from Ukiyo, tuned one last time, and it's then that his clear voice trembles up in song, a smile on his face and green eyes on the windows, attentive for any flash of a blond head. ]

I miss those blue eyes, how you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep
Like there's no sunrise, like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe ...

manipulated @ 2011-02-25T11:34:00

2011-02-25T19:34:47Z

[ the worst thing about not being on the island anymore, Gino thinks, are the nights alone. even with the collar he wore for so long gone completely (which forced him in turn to wear a permanent bandage around his neck to hide that massive, unhealing scar on his throat), there are times that just laying in bed by himself makes him feel short of breath and needy, like dying. like being positively driven to seek out release in any way possible. add to that his overwhelming feeling of being insatiable to begin with, and a very oppressive loneliness felt only when forced to sleep alone (something he's always, always hated, even before Atia), and it's really no surprise what Gino's decided course of action is.

but the trouble with Gino and pleasuring himself is that he's always found it so unfun. everything is drab when you're alone. and he's always been a little guilty about touching himself to begin with, it's a wonder that he's even managed to get himself hard, sprawled out under the covers, nude, half-lidded eyes watching the slow motion of his hand beneath the blankets. his thoughts divert to other things while he strokes, hoping to rile his imagination up enough to get through this. it does help, picturing a much nicer scene in his mind that steadily becomes clearer and clearer until all the details have been smoothed out to form one clear image. how much nicer it would be, if this were like that...

almost, but not entirely, unconsciously, he wishes for it, a quiet, breathy whisper into the still silence of his mostly-dark room, fingers tightening on his length and then slowly drawing away altogether so that he can move over to make room for what he hopes will happen as a result: ]

I wish Suzaku were here, in bed with me.

manipulated @ 2011-02-17T19:55:00

2011-02-18T03:55:40Z

[ wishing to have palm trees and a hammock in the front... yard-like-thing of a big city apartment hadn't been an easy task for the magic wishing air to manage but it did it somehow, and Gino immediately took advantage of it. it didn't matter if people stopped and stared at the completely unurban foliage. it's more and more like home every day.

as soon as the sun goes down he's outside, stretched out in his hammock with a blanket spread over him to protect against the cold night air, a bar of chocolate in one hand and his other arm folded behind his head. look, there's Orion's belt, and the Little Dipper. the Big Dipper, too, he notices, smiling to himself. he really doesn't know that many constellations besides the obvious ones, but it doesn't matter. idly swinging the hammock from side to side with one leg swung over to reach the ground, he takes a bite of his chocolate and exhales quietly, prying his eyes away from the stars just long enough to watch his breath show up in front of him like steam before it disappears again. ]

manipulated @ 2011-02-15T07:54:00

2011-02-15T07:58:05Z

[ Curled around another warm body, Suzaku rubs his nose on soft hair as the sunlight streaming through a bedroom window filters across his eyelids, yawning and squeezing a soft waist where his arm remains hooked. He's bare-chested but wearing pajama slacks with little Lancelots all over them, trouser-legs rumpled up to his knees where another pair of calves lie tangled through his own. The latter would certainly detract from his pride if he wasn't leanly muscled after intensive use of the Lancelot during the Zero Requiem, and he might only be short but there's no reason anyone would be displeased waking up next to that.

It'd be great, when he wakes up then, if he can remember how he landed sharing a bed with Maxxie, but. Details.

Nuzzling closer, he yawns for a second time, louder, and gives a cursory stretch before bonelessly melting back into the sheets. ]

manipulated @ 2011-02-13T14:56:00

2011-02-13T22:56:11Z

[ it finally occurred to Gino one moment in the middle of the night while he was making tea for himself (out of habit, but not actually wanting to drink it or hold the cup or even look at it, because it'd only remind him of where he's not and what he doesn't have, yet again), dressed for bed but not entirely sleepy:

I could just wish for them to be here.

why not? you can wish for anything else in this place, so why not people. why not wish himself back onto the island, for that matter--well, okay, that's pushing it a little. he's not sure if he's ready for that, but... making the others appear... it's worth a shot, isn't it? the worst that could happen is that it won't work, and he goes about being depressed again and eventually goes to sleep right around the time the sun is coming up.

okay, so let's make this specific. maybe if he overshoots it the magic wishing air won't give him what he wants. he'd better start small. small and strong, something he can put his whole heart (and a half) into wishing for. setting down his teacup, he clasps his hands as if in prayer and shuts his eyes. probably not necessary gestures for the whole wishing process but he reaaally wants this one to work. even just for a little while. please oh pleaseeee... ]

I wish Maxxie were here.

manipulated @ 2011-02-10T22:53:00

2011-02-11T06:53:50Z

[ he still hasn't quite settled down. he knew it was coming, knew, but that didn't make him any more prepared. after promising he'd never leave and never wanted to leave, being forcefully ejected from the island had him downright incensed. not sad, angry. is this Atia's response to his attempt to rebel? what a pointless effort. but now, without him there to lead... are all his efforts going to go down the drain? will somebody else take it up (like Lelouch, who he left all his information to)? and what's going to happen to his friends and family? now he'll never know.

by now, though, he's less infuriated and more restless, pacing around his house with Hypotenuse quick at his heels. his one last living link to the island. he can't even stand to acknowledge the little furball right now, storming from one room to the next and finally throwing himself onto the couch. ]

manipulated @ 2011-01-27T02:22:00

2011-01-27T02:26:25Z

[ After getting lost for half an hour, Suzaku takes a moment to appreciate the quaint outlook of the house in front of him, fenced in and demure with a homely touch barely visible through the bay window. Having relaxed enough to wear his own clothes for the visit, he slides his shades on top of his head and approaches the front door, ringing the bell and shifting a little awkwardly, a gift bag dangling from one hand. In it lies a green and blue throw, thick enough to keep out any chills even if worn around the house and tall enough to envelope the other knight; it had seemed like a good idea at the time (who didn't need more blankets?) but now he was beginning to wonder if he was expected to bring something more formal. A bottle of wine, perhaps.

Deciding to worry if the topic crops up, he's forced, during the interim wait of having the door answered, to recognise the fact he's nervous about entering Gino's house. Somewhere private and holed away from anywhere they'd ever been together before - entirely the other boy's territory.

That knowledge corrects his posture in an instant. ]

manipulated @ 2011-01-17T21:23:00

2011-01-18T05:23:07Z

[ Gino's not a big fan of bars. and hey, shut up, just because he's worked at one and gone to visit friends at one for nearly two years now has nothing to do with anything. that's a job, not a hobby. but since it's Kallen, he's totally okay with being here--and it's not a classless place. he was just leaning against the counter, thinking to himself about how a Midori Sour wouldn't be a bad drink to start off with. yeah, that'd be nice.

and so the bartender passes him a drink. just the one he was thinking of. creepy, but cool. he'll just be sipping that while he waits for her, hoping she got the directions okay. ]