.

Breakthrough?

2007-09-09T23:06:20Z

I care too much about myself and not enough about other people.

Carry On

2007-05-22T21:41:44Z

I want my dignity back.

There's one thing worse than being worst
And that is being second best
Could you explain this, please?
From up in your red brick
From up in your gothic
And I'm trying hard to rhyme
And keep it all in time
Sadly, though, I'm just a bit too...

I only know enough to know
That I don't know enough
Could you explain this, please?
Look up from your word game
I see your eyes take aim
To join a thousand dots
In condescending knots
And, stuck back here, I'm just a bit too...

The words will jump a groove
If I sit down to read a book
Could you...
I want to be faster
I want to be master
Of something, anything, a real authority
And someday find a cure for me
Sadly, though, I'm just a bit too...

Carry on
If I'm not gonna be
The kind who makes the world a better place for you and me
Carry on
And all you'll see
Is someone pass by gormlessly

(bridge of sighs)

Let's sit down to play some chess
Just me and six more versus you
Could you indulge me, please?
I try hard to create
But here comes the checkmate
Forgive me if I'm slow
There's still so much that I don't know
It's time to go; I'm just a bit too...

What's it like behind the gates?
Could Heaven be a social club?
Could you decide this, please?
From up in your red brick
From up in your gothic
And I'm trying hard to scan
Correctly if I can
But sadly, though, I'm still a bit too...

Carry on
A daughter or a son
The kind to make the world a better place for everyone
Carry on
It's up to me
To waddle gormlessly away

Trigger's Broom

2007-01-24T22:40:05Z

For me, today is in a sense Thursday because tomorrow is my last day at work this week which is handy. A nice long weekend will be just the ticket.

For some reason, in between work, my mind has been coming up with all sorts of strange ideas the last couple of days. The first is an idea of how it might be possible to live forever. I will explain...

The thing to note about nature is continuity - everything is about inclination, gradient, progression etc. I am gradually growing old. Species are gradually evolving. It is not possible to jump instantaneously from one state to another. A very quick change of state would be extremely difficult to accomplish - there are schools of thought which define a miracle as a violation of continuity with respect to physical laws. So, the solution must involve a gradual change. Assume that the nervous system as a whole (not just the brain) exclusively accomodates and gives rise to the mind (meaning the movement of a limb can be classed as a thought). Also assume that one's identity is a property exclusive to the mind. Now, under normal circumstances, the failure of the brain causes the permanant collapse and erasure of the mind, hence the death of the person. Compare this to a kind of brain damage in which a small, specific part of the brain is impaired. Say I have a stroke and the cells of my brain which I had used to control a certain limb died. Although a part of my brain had died, I suppose I would still exist. Loosely speaking, my mind could be said to be distributed over my entire nervous system. If a part of it died (and the remainder was capable of carrying on the task of supporting both mind and body, whether aided or not) might my mind simply retreat from the damaged area? Furthermore, it might be possible to relearn how to operate the given limb by training up replacement brain pathways.

So, what if it were possible to grow an extension to one's brain? A second brain. The mind would expand into it as it grew until it covered both brains. Then, upon the death of the first, rather than being erased, the mind would be left merely with diminished capabilities. It would be brain damage rather than brain death.

It's like the case of Trigger's broom from a certain episode of a certain comedy programme. The broom has had a dozen or so new heads and a dozen or so new handles over the course of its existence. How could it still be the same broom, then? Association - the mechanism which I'm sure is exclusively behind the workings of the mind. Consciousness is what happens when the mind associates different bits of its mental contents (memory, sensation etc.) with each other. Some of it is automatic, a throwback to millions of years ago, although thoughts about thoughts about thoughts etc. stack up in the more recently evolved areas of the brain, forming self-awareness.

Anyhoo, be all that as it may or may not, just consider the possibility of being able to clone yourself. However, the newly-forming embryo would be implanted within you, where it would form not one but two umbillical cords. The first would be the conventional link to the host's blood stream to receive nutrition and dispel waste. The second would be a complex neural link to the host's nervous system. It would be like gradually becoming aware of a new limb forming over the weeks and months as it gets ever bigger. However, the growing brain would start to take on more and more workload from the 'master' brain through the nervous systems in between. The host mind would be able to get more and more of a foothold. Whilst any memories encoded in the host brain would remain there, it might be possible for them to be re-encoded in the offspring brain as long as that brain hosted any thoughts from the mind (now shared across both brains via the connected nervous systems) which involved those memories, and that those thoughts were remembered by the offspring.

Eventually, it would be time to give birth to yourself, so to speak. Prior to the neural cord being cut, the host's brain (and as much of its nervous system as possible, without impinging on the offspring's) should be gradually shut down before finally being killed. What would be left would be the newborn offspring whose brain hosts what's left of the mind hitherto shared between both brains and nervous systems. It would be akin to massive brain damage but not quite the total erasure dreaded.

There's a huge amount in the above which is questionable and highly debatable. Ah, well. Still, you might want to look up 'parthenogenesis' and 'neurulation', perhaps turning left as 'personal identity' in the process.

Why you...!

2006-12-30T14:06:16Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6218485.stm

So, that's it. An eye for an eye. They're now as bad as he supposedly was. This is a filthy world filled with filthy people.

The Thin Edge

2006-07-21T19:46:10Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/5193816.stm

So what for Darwinism, then?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/5198956.stm

As well as the biggest donation, perhaps?

Uh, Y'Think?

2006-07-19T18:03:34Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/5194456.stm

Oh, you're TOO kind. Still, it's a start, I suppose - there are some wise (bloody obvious) comments made.

RIP

2006-07-11T17:36:49Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/5169344.stm

It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here
And I'm most obliged to you for making it clear that I'm not here
And I never knew the moon could be so big
And I never knew the moon could be so blue
And I'm grateful that you threw away my old shoes
And brought me here instead dressed in red

And I'm wondering who could be writing this song
I don't care if the sun don't shine
And I don't care if nothing is mine
And I don't care if I'm nervous with you
I'll do my loving in the Winter

And the sea isn't green
And I love the Queen
And what exactly is a dream?
And what exactly is a joke?

Jugband Blues by Syd Barrett

Poison Seduction

2006-07-01T20:10:33Z

http://www.economist.com/books/displayStory.cfm?story_id=5213394

We need to know that you possess what we will take...

I'm back, baby...

2006-06-24T22:13:59Z

http://www.scifi.com/scifiwire/index.php?category=3&id=36722&type=0

malefact @ 2005-10-25T09:29:00

2005-10-25T16:29:28Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4375308.stm

No, no, no, no, no, NO!

malefact @ 2005-10-17T22:07:00

2005-10-17T21:08:05Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4348942.stm

Ha!

malefact @ 2005-07-21T15:30:00

2005-07-21T14:31:51Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4703777.stm

I wish people would play nicely.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/4702503.stm

Another shame.

malefact @ 2005-06-12T22:34:00

2005-06-12T21:35:13Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4085966.stm

Bloody hell! Last I heard Roger Waters and Dave Gilmour were still at each other's throats. This is incredible.

The Hall of Mirrors...

2005-04-02T20:37:37Z

About ten minutes ago, I found out that Pope John Paul II has died.

My religious position is the same that it has been for the last several years; "no comment". This is not because I belong to a religion and don't wish to say but because I don't know what to say for myself. I haven't had any answers. However, due to me being the kind of person I am, I've never liked 'joining in' and, as such, have always tended to reject religion because of its social aspects. I'm an individual and have always been very keen to do things my own way, in my own time. I've had this stance when trying to make sense of Everything.

There are many people who devote their lives to science, who reject utterly the notion of spirituality. I'm not one of them. I've tackled this head on, using Mathematics - the engine of logic at the heart of science. I've perceived its limits. The nature of this beast is such that these limits render it toothless. To have limits causes it to be finite, and since there is an infinity that lies beyond it, it becomes trivial and insignificant. What at first appears to be a way out of a closed system turns out, in fact, to be another circle that takes one back to where one was in the beginning. It's like a knot that, given a tug, falls apart and you're left with a simple piece of string. But we continue on. What causes this? How come the Universe exists? Science has a blind spot, rooted in our perception. This is, ironically, perfectly logical because the observer is part of that which is observed, hence the ultimate collapse of the notion of 'truth' in the scientific sense. Everything is interconnected, everything is relative and hence there is no absolute. Solid definition cannot exist. Again, then, how come the Universe exists? It justifies its own existence. I don't know yet (and may well never know) whether there is a mindset that can explain this. I do know, though, that such a mindset would mirror the Universe in that it justifies itself, in order to avoid the 'collapse of meaning' that affects conventional truth.

I've spent quite a few years chugging along, developing my ideas. I'm open to possibilities. However, I also want to understand. By this, I also want to explain. I know, though, that there are many different ways to view the same thing. I'm sure that my goal is the same as that for a lot of other people. Perhaps some of them actually do.

malefact @ 2005-03-22T18:52:00

2005-03-22T18:56:03Z

Sitting on a hillside
Watching all the people die
I'll feel much better on the other side
I'll thumb a ride

I believe in magic
Why, because it is so quick
I don't need power when I'm hypnotized
Look in my eyes
What are you seeing (I see...)
How do you feel? (...you)
I feel real phoney when my name is Phil
Or was that Bill?

Life goes on here
Day after day
I don't know if I am living or if I'm
Supposed to be
Sometimes my life is so eerie
And if you think I'm happy
Paint me (white)(yellow)

I've been here once
I've been here twice
I don't know if the third's the fourth or if
The fifth's to fix

Sometimes I deal with numbers
And if you wanna count me
Count me out

I don't need the time of day
Anytime with me's OK
I just don't want you using up my time
'cause that's not right

They're locking them up today
They're throwing away the key
I wonder who it'll be tomorrow, you or me?

We're all normal when we want our freedom

malefact @ 2005-03-16T20:11:00

2005-03-16T20:03:59Z

Adobe Acrobat reader is a pile of crap.

malefact @ 2005-03-10T14:12:00

2005-03-10T14:04:59Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/film/4330583.stm

I don't know. You think you know someone...

malefact @ 2005-02-22T16:55:00

2005-02-22T16:48:24Z

When in freefall, it is vital to be able to bounce.

malefact @ 2005-02-20T21:26:00

2005-02-20T21:19:44Z

I wonder what Janov would have made of a chat room session where everyone pretended to be what they were like when they were children?

malefact @ 2005-02-17T15:55:00

2005-02-17T15:51:09Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4273155.stm

This article starts off as fairly dull but becomes increasingly fascinating; in the way that someone might slow down to look at a car crash.

malefact @ 2005-02-15T14:00:00

2005-02-15T13:58:20Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4265763.stm

Although the simplification of what they're doing makes it come across as very muddy and ill-defined, if the general idea that mathematical thought is distinct from language is true then it will correspond very neatly with Godel's Incompleteness Theorem - that there are some questions with a rigid structure of logic (represented by a given language; i.e. mathematical terminology) which can't be proved but which we can 'see' are clearly true.

(In any case, the statement "thought is dependent on language" is ridiculous - I have first-hand experience of seeing an animal think but, of course, it had no language with which to speak!)

Why is it that articles like these always appear to be stating the bleeding obvious? I've come up with these notions independently long before now but have never sought any recognition for them because I thought that they were trivial.

malefact @ 2005-01-31T12:51:00

2005-01-31T12:44:49Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4221465.stm

Ho-hum.

Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem

2004-12-11T20:11:20Z

What happens if the smoke alarm catches fire?

malefact @ 2004-12-11T00:20:00

2004-12-11T00:14:23Z

The Construct

And the Construct carries through
The absolute of what to do
And its vicious total hold
Of all things, some untold.
It isn't love, it isn't death
It's something in between, I guess.

With two things far removed
Relationship is proved;
Be helpful or a curse,
They're of the Universe.
And all my friends and all my foes
United all as one, It knows.

It's over and within,
When over, it begins.
The ocean and the sky;
See them think before you die.
It isn't love, it isn't death
It's something in between, I guess.

A New Dream

This place is so nice
It reminds me of a thought that I had yesterday.

Not so much people, coloured lights are all around.
Twinkle at the presence of the star who's world-renowned.
I shine my actions, not a single one regret.
Every day I live that I'm as good as I can get.

I'm like the others, dedicated and elite.
Something to believe in; there is no-one I can't beat.
Death is my shadow, soon that's all that there will be.
If I grow big enough, maybe God will notice me.

This place is so nice
It reminds me of a dream that I had yesterday.

malefact @ 2004-12-08T21:33:00

2004-12-08T21:27:37Z

Twenty-four years ago today, John Lennon was murdered.