how apporpriate (and here an amendment: I cannae spell)

I don't want to overexcite anyone but there is a real possibility that today I am going to finish that behemoth, that 1222-page monster, that obscure compendium of all the French Revolution(s)'(s) greatest hits, full of twists and turns like the 128-mile Parisian sewer; that story with beaucoup de side characters whose life histories are divulged in pages upon pages, only to learn said character has a single line; that tome, with its sentences composed of endless clauses, full of learned Greek references a 21st century reader fairly drowns in; Victor Hugo's lovesong to the word "sepulchral," LES MISERABLES.

Could you tell what I was trying to do there? No? Well I have to go to work in a few minutes so there is no time to expand that, unfortunately.