Is the path I’m walking the path I’m actually looking for?

I want to shut myself out of an egregore of the past.

I want to individuate. I want to know myself outside of being part of something that was diluting who I am.

In order to see more clearly I must reject all. I must become hermit lump.

I must go off on my own path. It is not similar to the others’. I am on a different life path with different goals.

Eventually I want to be with the others who are on a similar life path as me.

But for now, I must get back on the path I was meant to be on, not this detour.

It’s not a door I’m completely shutting. But enough to find myself again.

I want to be who I am when I am in alignment with my purpose amongst people with a similar purpose.

Say there is a place I have been spending time in. I don’t feel this place is contributing to my growth anymore. I feel it demoralizing me. And it’s wearing me down.

Maybe I’m outgrowing it.

My heart tells me I must go.

Reject every voice in my head that seems to come from specific people. The ones that say they are judging me. They are calling me this. They are calling me that. They are saying I am not good enough.

I am not on the same life path as these people.

When will I learn? I was just a MOP in a subculture I didn’t really belong to. And a sociopath ended up hurting me.

I’m freeing myself from the subculture.

I didn’t belong and that’s okay. I am not aligned and that’s okay. The subculture’s purpose is not aligned with my own. But I am finding and building my own purpose outside of it.

I have a different place that I’m going.

I have a different life to be living.

And different goals and achievements.

I need to go elsewhere for my growth.

I will find my way…