"Singularity" Chapter 33: "A Bird In Hand" [33/49]

Title: "Singularity" Chapter 33: "A Bird In Hand" [33/49]
Fandom: The Last of Us (first game only)
Characters: Ellie, Joel, Tommy, Maria, OCs
Pairings: Joel/Ellie
Warnings: Underage
Word Count for this chapter: 10,937
Rating (for fic as a whole): R

~


Tommy and Maria paused in the doorway, a hint of a frown on Maria's face... which Joel attributed more to concentration than displeasure. The woman had been racking her brain since he and Ellie had reported for babysitting duty twenty minutes ago. Now Joel was relaxing on the couch while Ellie tried to choose a DVD to watch. The baby was sleeping upstairs (and Joel secretly hoped he would sleep through this entire gig).

When date night ideas were getting tossed around, Ellie had latched on to the 'dinner and a movie' thing, and everyone had liked her version. She had just Jacksonized the dinner part: a picnic out by the lake. She even offered to go hunt down a picnic basket -- as in, borrow one off the set of the town play ("Who cares? Not like Dorothy needs it yet!") -- but they had settled on using Tommy's backpack instead. "Don't worry about anything!" Ellie assured Maria cheerfully. "We've got this! Go... before your dinner gets cold!"

"C'mon, babe," urged Tommy, his arm around Maria's shoulders to steer her onto the porch. "We covered everything. If anything unexpected comes up, they know where to find us."

Maria looked back at Joel. "Don't hesitate to come get us. Even if you're not sure if it's important enough. When in doubt..."

Joel waved her off. "That won't be necessary. I assure you, if one of the gates reports a breach, I'll take care of it myself before the town gets overrun by a horde of--"

"Joel!" Ellie scolded him -- she even strode over and whacked his arm for that.

But Maria laughed. "That, I'm sure you can handle."

Tommy grinned. "In fact, don't you dare interrupt us for trivial shit like that. If the little guy sneezes or somethin', though, that's serious enough to--"

Maria drowned out the rest of that by pulling the door shut behind them -- not before Joel caught her rolling her eyes at Tommy, though.

It wasn't even five seconds later that Ellie abandoned her movie selection task in favor of straddling Joel -- as if they were in their own damn house. "Don't 'Ellie' me," she warned him before he could say it. "If they come back, we're wrestling."

Yes, they'd worked that out already. Joel just didn't want to take such unnecessary risks -- especially after Ellie's little "our room" slip the other day. "That won't cut it if our hands are down each other's pants," he muttered, running his hands up and down her sides and across her back.

She gave him a giggly little kiss. "So it'll be like olden times -- no touching under our clothes!"

He nudged her sweatshirt up just enough to lightly graze her in one of her most ticklish spots. It had the desired effect of making her get the hell off of him in a hurry (and he never tired of hearing that adorable little squeal, either).

"I said not under our clothes!" she laughed, recoiling into the opposite corner of the couch.

"Whoops, guess I got confused. -Seriously, Ellie... Maria could come rushin' right back through there any second, if she remembers somethin' else to tell us."

Ellie sobered quickly. "Okay, seriously-seriously: what if there is a breach? I know you were just messing with them, but it could happen, right?"

"It ain't gonna happen." It hadn't happened in all the time they'd been living in Jackson, after all.

"But it could."

"In theory, sure." He was surprised she actually seemed a little worried about it now. "Hey, who's the one who insisted they leave their walkie talkies here an' not worry about a thing?"

"Me," she grumbled. "But I wasn't thinking about that."

True -- she had just asked them if they were expecting to get a call about anything, and they had said no. The day's business was over with. The gates wouldn't call at this hour unless something unusual happened... and even then, it would likely be some scheduling or staffing mishap, not a true emergency. Joel was sure he could handle whatever might come up, so he hadn't objected when Ellie volunteered them to take over being 'on call.' In fact, he thought it was awfully sweet of her to suggest it -- especially after neither Tommy nor Maria could recall the last time they'd been together without being in possession of even a single walkie talkie. It was possible it had never happened.

So in essence, Joel and Ellie were babysitting the town as well as little Grayson. Of the two devices sitting on the coffee table, Joel expected more activity to come from the baby monitor. Ellie will forget all about this as soon as the baby cries-- "If anything bad happens, I'd just follow the protocol," he told her confidently. "That's what we have monthly militia meetings for. To go over shit like that."

"But you haven't been to a meeting since we got back!"

Also true -- because they had arrived after the first Wednesday of the month. "Well, I reckon it hasn't changed much. The phone tree has, with all the newcomers, but there's a copy of it in the desk over there." Without actual phones and without knowing where everyone would be at the time, though, there would most likely have to be some degree of improvisation.

Ellie snorted. "Such a dumb name. It doesn't involve phones or trees." She stretched out enough to poke him with her socked foot. "If something happened, one of us would be stuck here with Grayson, huh."

"Not one of us -- it would be you," he chuckled. He certainly wasn't going to sit on his ass if there was an emergency like that. But it would be nice to know that Ellie was safe while shit went--

"Fuck that! I think Maria and Tommy would understand why we had to leave him here alone."

"Uh, no -- 'cause we wouldn't have to. And you never leave a little kid alone in the house, for any reason."

"Says you! He'd be perfectly safe in his crib. He can't climb out of it. He can't even crawl yet. You're just hanging onto your old-world views again. I'm not talking about ignoring him for no reason or whatever -- I mean for an emergency situation."

"I don't care. You let the militia do their job."

"I should fucking be in the militia!"

Joel sighed. "You really wanna argue about this again? You're too young. End of--"

"Fine -- I'd go drop him off with Chelsea, then! She's not in it, either, and I know they trust her with him!"

So much for knowing Ellie's safe... But he really couldn't imagine her sitting around doing nothing during a raid, either -- so at least she had come up with an acceptable solution. "In that case, you could help out with the phone tree part while I go kill whoever needs killin' an' the whole thing would be done before anyone else even gets there."

"Pfff. Fuck that, too -- you already know I'd be going with you. Who cares about the stupid fake tree?"

"It ain't stupid if you're runnin' a town and you're responsible for the safety of everyone in it." If shit really did hit the fan, though, Joel would rather know exactly where she was... which means she needs to be with me. He rubbed her foot absently. "I reckon we could get someone else to start workin' it, though. ...You need new socks, kiddo."

She yanked her foot back. "You were gonna tickle through the holes!" she accused him.

"Why does that sound like somethin' dirty?" he smirked.

"Ha!" She turned herself around and started crawling towards him. "I could make it into something--"

"Oh no you don't. That was not an invitation." His hand on her shoulder kept her at arm's length.

"Aww, you're no fun," she pouted.

"Hey, I ain't the one who invited Clicker over to help him rehearse," he reminded her. Tommy and Maria had okayed it, as long as they made sure he washed his hands before touching the baby. "He's already caught us once."

"Yeah, and we talked our way out of it!"

"Not entirely. He was still suspicious."

"Well, he's not gonna just burst through the door. He'll knock first. And you'll hear him coming from a mile away anyways. I'm not worried!" But she slumped back down where she was rather than try to drape herself over Joel. "Besides, he might not even be coming. I just told him he could if he wanted."

"When has that boy ever turned down a chance to spend time with you?" Joel pointed out.

"Okay, so he's prob'ly coming," she sighed. "Don't look at me like that! I already told you -- I can't be mean to him."

"You don't have to be mean, just... a lil' more distant. Why can't that little girl help him with his lines?"

"Because. Alyssa has attitude about it cuz she tried out for Dorothy. 'Tried out' is like when you try to get--"

"I know what try outs are," Joel chuckled. And even if he didn't, he could've picked it up in context.

"Well, excuse me -- anyways, she tried out and didn't get it. Didn't even get understudy. ...Do you know what that is, too?"

"Someone who learns a role so they can step in if the real person gets sick or somethin'."

Ellie seemed partly annoyed, partly impressed. "How do you know this shit?"

"I'm sure all of us old fogeys remember it from the dinosaur age," he quipped. Not that he'd taken part in school plays much himself. He remembered Sarah being involved in some when she was little, but she'd always gravitated more towards athletics than the arts.

"Whatever. Okay so she didn't get the part, and instead, she's just a munchkin. Everyone knows that the munchkins are just -- like, any kid who wanted to be in the play but didn't get a part is a munchkin. They basically have no talent."

That casting decision made sense to Joel, but he didn't think it was the most charitable assessment. "You don' know that. Maybe they weren't right for the roles available... maybe they had a bad day and didn't perform as well as they could have... maybe the person runnin' the auditions plays favorites... hell, even if everyone else was better than them, it don't mean that they have absolutely no--"

"Okayyyyyy," Ellie groaned. "I get it! Fuck."

He reached over and tugged her in close, right up against his side, and kissed the top of her head. "You think very black'n'white sometimes."

"It's not me! I heard that from multiple people!"

"Other kids, I presume?"

"Well, yeah... there's hardly any grown-ups in it. ...I don't know what they did with the adults who tried out and didn't get a part. They're too big to be munchkins!"

"Some of the kids are, too, if you're goin' by the movie. I reckon they figured the adults could handle the rejection better. They weren't gonna give any of the major roles to the adults anyhow, were they? Ain't this mostly for the kids?" Despite this second event being re-branded the 'town' play.

Ellie pondered this. "I mean... I guess? But what about me? I would've liked to have a part -- a real part, not a fucking munchkin -- but I'm more of an adult than a kid. Would I be allowed to--"

"You should definitely get a part. I'm thinkin' more like... thirty-, forty-, fifty-year-olds. It's fine if they like theatre and wanna be involved and all... maybe have a bit part, if they like to act... but if I'm watchin' the thing, I don't wanna see some... old person playin' Dorothy, or any of those main parts. This ain't Broadway. I wanna see the Clickers an' the Alyssas doin' that stuff."

"And the Ellies," she added with a grin.

"Of course. That goes without sayin'."

"Do you think I would've got a part if I tried out? Maybe not Dorothy, but like... a part? Like one of the witches, maybe!"

"You would be the cutest Dorothy there ever was," Joel declared.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, cuz you're not biased or anything. Seriously! Do you think I could do it? Maybe I could steal your part -- ha! -- and be Toto. He's cute. And a girl can play him cuz a girl played him in the movie! Did you know that? It was a girl dog, though, not a girl human, obviously."

"Tch. You're good for more than followin' Dorothy around lookin' cute. You need a part where you can sing. ...Not to mention talk. You're good at both of those."

"Ha. Doesn't matter -- we're like a month too late. Brandy said they're gonna keep doing plays, though. I can try out for the next one in the fall. And she said maybe I can help decide which one we should do! Although I think she was prob'ly just being nice. But if she's not -- if she meant it -- you can help me. Yeah! -- and we can pick one where you could have a role, too!"

"Me?" Joel had zero interest in--

"Yes!" She clutched his arm excitedly. "We could pick one with a love story! So you could be the dude and I could be the chick and -- ha, it would be awesome -- we could kiss in front of the whole town -- it would be part of the script and everything! So obviously not bad -- and then like, everyone will see how perfect we--"

"Whoa whoa whoa... what fantasy world are you livin' in, kiddo?" He mussed her hair. "Who in their right mind would cast a teenager and an old--"

"A smart person would -- because we have chemistry! Like, amaaaazing fucking chemistry."

"We do, do we?" He couldn't remember her ever using that term -- and for some reason, he didn't think she would know what it meant, romantically-speaking.

"Of course! Then everyone would know how great we are together and we wouldn't have to--" She gasped. "Oh my God -- I've got it! We can do Romeo and Juliet! Yes! That's one on the list that I've actually heard of -- and it's romantic as fuck! We could--"

Joel cut her off with hearty laugh. "Like I said: fantasy world."

"No way -- it's perfect!" she squealed.

"Perfect? No no, see... first of all, I can't act."

"Pfff. Sure you can! You can lie -- therefore, you can act. Both of us are good at that -- we have the whole town fooled, don't we? And you're a singer, so you know how to memorize lines already!"

Even though the idea was completely ridiculous, Joel was enjoying her excitement over it all the same. He didn't even bother to point out that he had never actually become a real singer. "Fine -- by your criteria, I can act. We have an even bigger problem: Romeo's a teenager."

She waved that off, too. "So what? There's kids playing adults in Oz, so why can't adults play kids? That's why it's called acting! It's all lies anyways! You used to be a teenager... a million years ago... if you don't remember how to act like one, I can help you!" Punctuated with a cheeky grin.

"All right, Miss Smartypants. What about the fact that there are... at least a couple dozen much better candidates for Romeo? Twice that, if they're willin' to cast a girl."

"I told you -- chemistry! It's important! I'm sure they could overlook you being a teensy bit old when they see how good we are together! Oh -- you'd prob'ly have to shave your face, though. Teenagers don't have all these whiskers!" She grabbed his face and squeezed his cheeks rather roughly. "But man, I would miss the fuck out of them... and you would look really, really weird with no facial hair. No offense."

"That's that, then -- I'm out. Have fun with your Romeo." He plucked her hands off of his face.

"Joel! I can't be Juliet if you're not Romeo! There'd be no chemistry!"

"You can fake it. Actors did it all the time, back when all these movies were made. I have faith in you."

She snickered knowingly. "You'd be too jealous. You'd never let me do it."

"Why wouldn't I? It's innocent enough... now, if they decide to add a sex scene... that's where I draw the line," he teased.

Ellie giggled. "Oh yeah, I'm sure there's a good chance they'd do that. Cuz this town's not full of fucking prudes or anything. I'd have to take my clothes off... wait, what about my arm? What if..."

"Most girls would be shy about other parts of their bodies bein' exposed, but--"

"You know why!" She shoved him again. "What would we do? I mean in general -- just -- if I'd have to wear short sleeves or something."

"Well... I reckon we could talk to the costume person and explain that... you're real self-conscious about your arm for some reason. Like you've got a real ugly scar you wanna hide. Long sleeves shouldn't be a problem." Assuming they don't get all gung ho about fittings...

"Okay. Ugh, but people really did have to get naked, huh -- at least partially? Any movie that has a sex part... the actors had to kiss and touch each other, and maybe they don't even like each other cuz they're just pretending -- and they had to do it in front of a whole bunch of people, right? The other actors... the person with the camera... there's someone in charge of just doing the lighting, too, in this play -- did you know that? And sound effects... there's so much that goes into it. -Oh!" She looked excited again. "You can be a... what-do-you-call-it... the person who makes the different parts of the scenes?"

"...A set designer?"

"Oh, that sounds good! Yeah, you can do that. That way you can keep your beard! So what would I do... I could help you make the stuff pretty. Like the artsy part of it."

"You don't gotta help me -- you're still Juliet, ain'tcha? I'd make sure your Romeo stays in line. That could be my job."

"Ha! I don't think so," she giggled. "Nice try."

"Why not? I think I'd be real good at it." He tried to sound offended.

"No way. You'd make him shit his pants! Gross! I can't work with someone with shitty pants. See, that's why you should be Romeo," she pouted, poking him in the belly on the 'you.'

"How 'bout you try out for whatever part in whatever play comes next... and I'll just cheer you on. I'll go to all the shows an' watch you knock everyone's socks off with your... brilliant performance. And if you ain't playin' the lead... I am sure you'll steal the show." This was one scenario Joel could imagine happening for real. Easily.

"Uh... how would I steal it? It's not an actual thing..."

Joel chuckled. "It just means you'll be the best."

"...What does that have to do with stealing?"

"Plenty. Take this play: the girl who plays Dorothy is gonna be in just about every single scene, right? Should be the best actress of the bunch. But Clicker's a funny little dude... his Scarecrow performance will prob'ly make everyone laugh, and when they're all takin' their bows at the end, he might get more applause than Dorothy. But he ain't supposed to, see, so he'd be stealin' the show. Stealin' all the praise, I guess is where that comes from?"

"Huh. Weird. So it's not the best, really -- it's the funniest?"

"I don' know... just anyone who wows the crowd so much that they get extra applause... extra buzz... extra praise in the reviews, all that." Even if the 'reviews' consisted of a blurb in the little one-page monthly newsletter. Presumably in the section where they reviewed movies that came out forty years ago and such. "Anyway... I'm jus' sayin'. We don't gotta do everything together. You can do your play an' tell me all about it."

"I know we don't have to... I just want to cuz I like sharing stuff with you."

"You can still share it with me, by tellin' me about rehearsals an' whatnot."

"That's not the same as you being there. Sometimes you just have to be there to understand. ...Like, have you tried to tell anyone about the ghosts, and that freaky time warp shit?! No one gets it."

"We did tell Tommy and Maria." He hadn't told anyone else; it just wasn't a subject that was likely to pop up in everyday conversation.

"Yeah -- and they didn't get it! They were like... 'oookaaaayyyy you guys, what were you smoking out there?' "

Joel laughed. "No they weren't."

"Maybe not literally, but you saw the looks on their faces! I mean after we finally convinced them we weren't just playing a prank on them."

He wasn't sure they'd been fully convinced... more like, Tommy and Maria had given up on trying to get them to give up the 'gag.' He gave her a squeeze. "I promise if you have any supernatural experiences at your rehearsals, I will believe every word you say."

"Awesome. But seriously, Joel... if we needed like... steps built, or something like that. You could do that, right? I mean... why not?"

"Anyone can do that."

"Not anyone. If I tried, they'd be all like... wonky and lop-sided... or a board would come loose and the star of the show would fall and break their ankle or something!"

"Should be their leg they're breakin', if it's a show." He just couldn't resist.

"That's even worse!" she cried.

"You're exaggeratin' -- but, fine, not just anyone... it just don't necessarily have to be me, is all I'm sayin'. You can do stuff without me."

"I do! All the time! But this is big! It takes up a lot of time, and everyone works really hard and they like... bond, and stuff..."

He chuckled. "I think you'n'me are bonded pretty good already. Don't you?"

"...I guess? But for the past few months we did practically everything together. And now it's less... it'll be even more less when we get on the schedule again, for work..."

"More less? That's a new one," he teased.

"I just don't want it to get to the point where we never see each other."

Aww. "We're a long way off from that. And the important thing is we still talk... share things about our days... stay connected." He leaned his forehead against hers. "We go to bed together every night..."

"We don't have sex every night, though," she pointed out.

He gave her a chaste little kiss. "That don' matter. We're still together. Bein'... close, like this. That's what matters. ...Unless..."

"Unless what?" she fretted.

"Are you tryin' to tell me... you wish we did it more? It ain't enough for you?"

"No! It's enough. I'm good. I know you're old...er. And sometimes I'm tired, too, you know."

Joel was surprised they hadn't had more issues on that front, given his age. He had figured it would help matters if he didn't masturbate, so he pretty much only did that when Ellie was on her period. And not even then, while they'd been on the road; sex had taken a backseat, with his brain basically rewired to survival mode. Although things did get pretty hot out there sometimes... "I'm just trustin' you to let me know if I ain't doin' my job... keepin' my baby girl happy."

She smiled. "Your baby girl is very happy. And she'll be even happier if you--"

He arrested her hand before it did something naughty. "I didn' mean right this minute. Why don't you go finish pickin' out a movie for us to watch." Since they couldn't count on Grayson staying blissfully unconscious the whole night, and Clicker was most likely going to show up at some point -- "Nothin' heavy, now. Jus' some dumb comedy. Or a superhero movie maybe."

She dutifully returned to the bookshelf of DVDs. "Not all comedies are dumb, you know. I've caught you laughing sometimes."

"I laugh because they're so dumb."

"Whatever... hmmm, maybe one of these romance ones... romcom, that's what they're called..." She glanced back at him, smiling devilishly.

Joel groaned. "Be merciful. Please. No chick flicks."

She continued to peruse the shelves. "You like some of those, too, you just won't admit it! But... yeah, they can be suuuuper cheesy."

He would never pick out one of those to watch, if given the choice, but he did actually enjoy watching them with Ellie sometimes. (And she was right -- he would never admit it out loud.) Tonight was actually a rare opportunity to watch a movie alone, just him and Ellie; normally, either Tommy and/or Maria joined them here at the house, or they were at the library, watching with a larger group. Though we might not be alone for long... "Think about Clicker," he reminded her. "I'm sure he don't wanna watch some mushy--"

"Oh! I got it! I am thinking about Clicker -- they have the Firefly movie! He loves it!"

Joel's eyebrows shot up. "Firefly movie? Uh..."

"Not those Fireflies, silly -- remember I told you it's a TV show?" She held up the DVD case for him to see -- and it was a title Joel didn't recognize, or perhaps had forgotten. "So funny that I have to tell you about a TV show that was totally from your time."

"What year did you say it was from?"

"Um... I think it was 2002 or 2003? Something like that."

"Only shows I knew about back then had blue dogs in 'em... or purple dinosaurs..."

"And creepy-as-fuck alien things with TVs in their tummies! That were so creepy you wouldn't let Sarah watch! Aww, poor little Sarah... deprived of her favorite cartoon cuz her daddy was so mean..."

"It wasn't her favorite." He had made sure of that by not letting her watch it... pretty much ever. Granted, it had been difficult to find something pleasing to both of them when she was that young. "So is this a TV show or a movie?"

"It's both! This right here is the movie, though. I don't think they have the show."

And Joel would bet the library had multiple copies of this movie already; Tommy and Maria certainly weren't the type to hoard what they could easily afford to share. "Do we have to know anything about the show to understand the movie?"

"Um... I dunno?"

"Well, which one came first?"

"I don't remember. He prob'ly told me and I just forgot. He says a lot of stuff. Like, really fast sometimes."

Joel could sympathize. "What year does it say on the case?"

"Oh! Right -- ummmmmm.... 2005. So, after the show."

"All right, well, you can tell me what you know about the characters an' the plot and all that."

"Which is... basically nothing. -Okay, literally nothing. He used to bug me to watch it with him but we'd always end up gaming if we got a free TV. It's okay, though -- I'm sure the movie will explain whatever we need to know, right? And who really cares -- it's just a cover story anyways." She turned on the DVD player and inserted the disc.

"A cover story?"

"Yeah -- you know. To cover up for the fact that we're pretty much going to sit here and make out all night? Ohhhh yeah hey this movie is actually perfect for that!" She twisted her head around enough to grin at him.

"How so?" he humored her.

"Cuz if Tommy and Maria ask us for our opinion on the movie, and like... we don't know anything that happened cuz we weren't paying attention? We can just say we were confused cuz we've never seen the show! See? Perfect!"

She's so goddamn adorable, Joel couldn't help thinking. Although he wasn't going to go along with her little game. "I see. One problem with that -- we are not gonna be makin' out all night. Or at all. Especially if Clicker comes over."

"Not actual sex -- just making out," she pouted.

"We ain't doin' any of that. So if that's the only reason you invited me over..." He smirked at her.

"Well, it's the main reason," she giggled. "But I guess you can just... keep me warm. Yeah! You're good at that, too."

He allowed her to snuggle up to his side the way she usually did at family movie night. As far as whether or not she should do so when Clicker arrived... he gave the matter only a fleeting thought before deciding he would just leave that up to her. If she wasn't of a mind to protect the boy from painful realities, then maybe Clicker would just have to learn to protect himself. Hell -- maybe dad-snuggling wouldn't even invoke any sense of longing... rejection... whatever. Maybe it's just me... Joel knew that if he were in Clicker's shoes, he certainly wouldn't want to watch Ellie give affection to some other man that she was unwilling to give to him, no matter how innocent it was.

They kept the TV volume at slightly lower-than-normal range (Grayson would sleep through most TV noise, but Joel knew DVD sound could vary greatly from scene to scene, and didn't want to risk startling him awake), so he did happen to hear Clicker approaching -- just before the soft rapping on the door announced the boy's arrival, about half an hour in. Ellie hit the pause button on the remote and bounced over to greet--

Or, she started to. She stopped short... took a step back, even, to grab hold of the back of the couch. "Whoa..."

"Ellie?" Joel got up swiftly and put his arm around her shoulders, alarmed at how pale she suddenly looked. "You okay?"

"I just... got up too fast, I guess. Got dizzy for a sec. I'm okay, though. Gotta get the door..." She started to move toward the door again.

But Joel kept his arm around her. "I'll get it. You jus' sit back down."

"No -- really -- I'm okay now." She took a few steps away from him and turned around with a little flourish. "See? Didn't pass out. Go sit -- I'll be right back!"

The color had returned to her face as well, so... I guess she's fine. ...But still-- "Let me--"

"No! Sit! Jeez -- it was one second. Haven't you ever stood up too fast before? -I know you have. I've seen it. Go!"

More rapping on the door, a little louder this time. Joel obligingly sat back down... and stuffed the flurry of unwanted images and thoughts back into the Sacramento box in his head. She wasn't THAT pale, just now...

She didn't pass out on the way back over with Clicker in tow, either. Joel watched the two of them approach the couch -- and decided that they were indeed just about the same height now.

"Are you sure it's cool?" Clicker was asking her. "Hey, Mr. Joel. -Aww, man, you're watching Serenity!" He plopped down right next to Joel, depositing a folder on the table. "Okay if I sit here? You can keep watching it! We don't have to--"

"No no no, it's okay," Ellie cut in as she sat on the opposite end of the couch. "Wait -- you recognize it just from that?!" The paused scene didn't even have any characters in it.

So the kid's in the middle... didn't see that coming. Joel had just assumed Clicker would take the love seat.

"Yeah. They're going to see Mr. Universe right there!" Clicker stated (correctly). "But also -- the case on the table was kind of a big hint, dude."

"Oh! Right. Anyways, we only put it on cuz the little dude's still sleeping and... I mean, what else were we gonna do while we waited for you, right?" She was quite obviously suppressing a smirk or a snicker at that.

"Trust me, Ellie is much more interested in your play than anything else," Joel told him. "That's all she's been talkin' about all night."

"No shit?" Clicker was clearly pleased to hear this (and Joel could've kicked himself for possibly giving him false hope).

Ellie rolled her eyes. "If by 'all night,' you mean like, five minutes? But yeah -- I wanna help you with your lines and stuff! Besides, it'll be a good learning experience for me, for the next one. You guys have already done two -- and I've done zero, so I have to catch up!"

Joel leaned over to stage-whisper to the boy. "Don't tell anyone, but she's got her heart set on bein' Juliet."

"Fuck you! I do not!" Ellie cried. She scooted in and tried to reach around Clicker to punch Joel's arm, but Joel stayed just out of her reach, and the remark apparently wasn't worth it to her to get up and walk all the way around the coffee table.

"You might not wanna sit there after all, son," Joel advised a very amused Clicker. "Though I appreciate you actin' as my human shield, if you stay. She'll go easy on you."

Clicker grinned and puffed his chest up. "Have no fear -- I'll protect you, Mr. Joel!" he declared gallantly.

Ellie elbowed the kid. "Dude -- homie! -- you and me are supposed to gang up on him!"

Clicker giggled. "Ummmm... ...yeah, sorry, Juliet, but he needs me more than--"

"Don't fucking call me that!" Instead of hitting the boy, she shoved him.

"See, I knew she'd go easier on you," Joel remarked... and he was relieved to see Ellie continuing to act perfectly normal after her little dizzy spell.

"Yeah -- too easy," Clicker lamented. "You don't have to give me the girl treatment."

"Ohhh, you're askin' for it now," Joel muttered.

"You want me to hit you?" Ellie smirked. "You shouldn't. Ask Joel how hard I hit! I've left bruises on him before."

Indeed she had. Although scratch marks are more her style...

"I know how hard you hit," Clicker smirked back. "When you give me the boy treatment, like you used to!"

Ellie scoffed. "Pfff -- I hit Joel much harder than that. ...Yeah, I wouldn't do that to you. You might be too tempted to hit back. But Joel? He'll just sit there and take it forever. Won't you, Joel!" Said with a shit-eating grin, even.

"So he gets the man treatment, huh?" Clicker mused.

"Haha... I guess so, yeah... -no, actually, it's the Joel treatment, cuz I can't think of anyone else I do it to..."

"I don't just... 'sit there an' take it forever,' " Joel protested. "I... let you get it out of your system, 'cause I'm nice like that, then I--"

"You? Nice? Ha!" Ellie scoffed. She looked at Clicker. "Dude, if I hit him, it's cuz he's being a dick and he deserves it. Sometimes he does it on purpose... and sometimes he just can't help himself."

Clicker giggled. "But you've never bashed in his nose, have you?"

"Not yet, she hasn't." Joel tried to sound nervous or fearful (and it earned him an Ellie-giggle).

"Christine's a girl, and you didn't even give her the girl treatment," Clicker pointed out.

"That bitch is not even a-- she gets the cunt treatment!" Ellie huffed.

Joel chuckled at that. "Ellie offers... individualized treatment plans. She caters to the needs and abilities of each... client." Infomercial type humor couldn't really hit the mark properly with kids today, of course... but they still had a giggle over it.

Clicker sighed over-dramatically. "Kinda sucks that she's a girl, right? She gets to do whatever she wants to us and like... never suffers any consequences."

"Ain't that the truth," Joel commiserated. "Things would be a hell of a lot easier if she was a boy. Much less drama, for one -- ow!" He pretended the little pillow bouncing off his head actually hurt. "Hey, those throw pillows ain't actually for throwin'..."

"That's exactly what they're for!" Ellie laughed. "...However..."

"Ahhhh -- shit -- stop!" Clicker got into a little tug-of-war with Ellie over the larger pillow she'd apparently been planning to assault Joel with next.

"Be careful with that -- don't rip it," Joel warned them. Am I babysitting THREE kids now?

"I won't -- hey, give it! --"

Joel scooched as far back as he could to let them battle it out fair and square; he couldn't tell if Clicker actually won or if Ellie just decided to let go, in the end.

"You guys are dumbasses," she snickered as she settled back into the other corner and Clicker tucked the pillow behind himself. "There's no law that says you can't hit back. Like... I get it if you don't wanna hit super hard? But--"

"No way, dude -- you say that, but you'd get all pissy if it actually hurt," said Clicker.

Ellie fixed him with a look. "Don't you remember the water balloons? At 4th of July? The other girls were whining that those things hurt -- not me! I remember you throwing them pretty fucking hard, too. I got drenched. Remember, Joel?"

Joel actually hadn't seen Ellie much at that party, as they'd been... estranged at the time, albeit briefly. At least that had given her a chance to hang out with the younger crowd. "Your jeans were all wet for a loooong time after," Joel agreed-- aww, look at that -- she's blushing!

He had been so angry about her behavior later that night... yet she had somehow charmed her way past that and made him laugh... even made him want to be sweet to her in ways he couldn't be at the time, because their relationship was still platonic -- and would always remain platonic, as far as he knew. If only he'd known how quickly that would change... Damn, I had so much RESTRAINT back then... where the hell did that go?

"Alyssa was one of the whiny girls, wasn't she!" Ellie remembered (she was quite skilled at deflecting, or diverting attention away from where she didn't want it). Essentially she was passing the blushing on to Clicker...

...who immediately got a bit squirmy at the mention of his girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend... whatever she was. "Yeah. Jeez, that feels like it was years ago, doesn't it?"

"It totally does," Ellie agreed -- because she said that anything prior to her and Joel becoming a couple felt like years ago to her. "So does she still whine if you hit her?"

"Yes!" he groaned. "I mean, I don't hit her, like... not in a real way..."

"Just horsin' around?" Joel supplied.

"Uh-huhhhh," Ellie said knowingly.

"No uhhhhh-huhhhhhh," Clicker drawled (and Joel could imagine the look he was giving Ellie right now). "How many times do I have to tell you she's not my freaking girlfriend?!"

"Ohhhh at least ten more times, maybe?" Ellie teased. "What's the big deal? You guys are so cute together!"

Joel clapped his hand on the boy's shoulder. "You're in luck, kid -- you're about to be saved by the bell."

"What bell?" asked Ellie.

"Yeah, what bell?" Clicker echoed.

The 'parent unit' on the coffee table started transmitting a whimpering noise. Ellie and Clicker both turned to look at the screen.

"Oh jeez I only just now noticed there's a little TV on that thing!" Clicker exclaimed.

Ellie leaned over and picked it up at the precise moment the baby's whimpers evolved into a full-on cry. "Whoa, that was freaky! Did you see him wake up, Joel? Is that why you said that about a bell?"

"Saved by a cry, more like." Clicker took a closer look as well. "It's kinda dark in there -- does this thing have night vision?"

"Prob'ly have to pay extra for that," Joel joked. He'd never even had a baby monitor for Sarah; that first apartment had been so tiny that they hadn't needed one. "Ellie, go ahead an' tell him you're comin' up."

Ellie had talked through the thing once or twice before, yet was still oddly shy about it. She hit the talk button. "Hey, little dude... don't worry, Auntie Ellie's gonna come get you and... try to feed you but then prob'ly have to hand you off to Uncle Joel!" She let go of the button. "Aww, look -- he's quiet now, like he was listening to me!"

"That's the idea," Joel replied.

But Grayson started crying again after a couple seconds of silence. Ellie handed the unit to Clicker. "Wanna talk to him while I go make his bottle? Joel -- come with me!"

Clicker happily complied. "This button here? ...Okay... Hiiiii there, um... what's his name again? ...Grayson! Hi, Grayson! It's Clicker. We met one time but in case you don't remember me, don't freak out -- that's not my real name. I don't actually go around eating people and stuff--"

Joel stood up and looked at Ellie while Clicker chattered to the baby. "Why don't you go up an' get him while Clicker'n'me make the bottle? You can go sit in that chair that he likes an' we'll bring it up to you."

"Roger that!" Clicker must have registered his suggestion through the mindless baby babble. "Later, dude -- Clicker over and out!" He set the unit back on the table.

Ellie looked slightly panicked. "Joel, no... what if he peed?!"

"He prob'ly did," Joel replied, amused at her dismay over the prospect. "But Maria said she changed him right before he went down so I think he can make it through dinner."

"And she did say he prob'ly wouldn't poop 'til after, except sometimes he doesn't even do it then," Ellie recited. "So we can change him after? In case he does?"

"Sounds like a plan." He picked up the monitor. "I'll bring this with me so you can call me if you get up there an' find... I don' know..."

"The walls covered with a mysterious green slime," Clicker supplied menacingly. "And the baby's eyes are like purple... -no, RED..."

"Dude, fuck off with that shit!" Ellie shoved Clicker again. "I'm going!"

"Wash your hands first!" Joel reminded her as she bounded up the stairs (...again, moving perfectly normal-like... he just needed to cast off that one second as no big deal). He washed his own in the kitchen sink, then had Clicker follow suit while Joel nuked a bowl of water.

"It's so much better cold," Clicker said, wrinkling his nose at the bottle. "Er... regular milk, I mean. I guess when I was a baby, I liked it warm, too?"

"I'm sure. Some prob'ly don't mind it cold, but this one ain't used to gettin' bottles." Joel removed the bowl from the microwave and placed the bottle in it to warm. "Now we let it sit for a few minutes."

Clicker looked at him dubiously. "Um, no disrespect, Mr. Joel, but wouldn't it be faster to just microwave the bottle?"

"Faster, sure, but not safer," Joel explained. "Microwaves don't heat real evenly. Might be a hot part that burns his mouth, see."

"You... really don't need my help with this," Clicker observed dryly.

"No, but I thought it would give us a chance to talk for a minute. Man to man."

Clicker's eyes widened. "Uhhhh... except I have my dad for that?"

Joel chuckled. "Just give it to me straight: what is the deal with you an' this... Alyssa girl. You like her?"

Clicker squirmed. "Sometimes, I guess? When she's not being annoying."

Joel nodded. "And you think she's pretty. You like her... in a more-than-friends way, yeah?" ...He ain't NEARLY as cute as Ellie at this blushing thing, but I'd say he's a distant second...

"I dunno... not really...? Do we have to talk about this?"

Joel decided to ignore the question. "The way I understand it, you liked her just fine before Ellie got back in town. Is that right?"

"No!" He frowned at the monitor. "She can't hear us, can she?"

"Not through there, no. Even if the baby wasn't fussin' so much, she can't hear unless we hit the button. So you can... speak freely." Joel hoped Ellie remained mindful of the fact that they would be able to hear her, though.

The kid still seemed a little scared. "Look, I'm not like... trying to be with Ellie, or anything like that," he replied softly. "You don't have to worry. I'm like a kid brother to her."

"I ain't worried about that." I'm amused as hell that you thought I MIGHT be, though... "More concerned for you. Afraid you might be throwin' away somethin' good for no good reason."

"I'm not!" Clicker protested.

Joel was getting the same defensive vibe off Clicker that he got off of Ellie sometimes when she was lying about her feelings. "You ever heard the expression 'a bird in hand is worth two in the bush'? That's what comes to mind here."

"I never heard that before. What does it mean?"

"Well... Alyssa's the bird in your hand. But you see two in the bush an' you think to yourself... two's better than one... even though you've already got the one, see, but then you let it go to get the two in the bush... which you ain't ever gonna get, so then you end up with no birds at all."

Clicker mulled this over for a moment. "Who says I'd never get the two? That's not part of the thingie you said."

"Uh... it's just implied that you're never gonna get the two. You ever try to catch a bird in a bush?"

"No. Have you?"

"...No... but... just... it's damn near impossible, is the point."

"Okay... so you think Ellie is two birds? She's just one person."

He is just as bad as Ellie when it comes to taking shit literally-- "It jus' sounds better to say it with two. 'Cause havin' two of somethin' is usually considered better than havin' one. Generally speakin'. ...I'm crap at explainin' it, but do you understand what I'm sayin'?"

"...I think so. But the other part of it -- you're saying Alyssa is... worth more than Ellie? That's kinda mean to say. Ellie's like my best friend. I actually have more in common with her than--"

"Not 'worth more' as in... actual worth as a person, or anything like that..." As far as Joel was concerned, Ellie was worth more than everyone else on the planet combined, but it wouldn't do Clicker any good to think that way. Joel sighed. "Never mind. Just... give Alyssa a chance, all right? Maybe... don't hang around Ellie so much, and you'll find that--"

"If you want me to leave, just tell me!" Clicker mock groaned.

"No, you can stay," Joel chuckled. "I mean in general. If bein' around her is... interferin' with you and--"

"Dude -- Mr. Joel -- no offense? But I'm pretty sure Ellie would tell me if she didn't want me around. Maybe not in words, but like... she'd be too busy to hang out, or blow off gaming or something... she's done that before. But she's been cool about stuff lately. And I told you, I would never... you know... ...uh... never try to like... do stuff... with her..."

"I know, son. I know." Joel suspected Clicker very much wanted to do stuff with Ellie... the poor kid just also happened to be scared shitless by the idea. He seems to get that Ellie does NOT return those feelings...

"But you still... don't want me around her for some reason?"

"Not because of that -- again, I'm thinkin' of you. I hate to see you wastin' your time when she--"

"I'm not wasting my time. She's my friend!" Clicker was practically glowering at him now.

"Right, well... I also know that... it hurts, bein' around someone you can't... who don't feel the same way as you. It's... torture, is what it is. I just want you to be happy. We both do."

"I am! I swear! I'm so happy she's back. For real."

"All right then. Just makin' sure." He wasn't going to keep harping on the idea; he just hoped the kid would take the time later to think on what he'd said.

"Hellooooo? What are you guys DOING down there? Hungry infant up here!"

They'd only been in the kitchen a few minutes. Joel glanced at Clicker and chuckled. "Patience ain't exactly her strong suit. But, to be fair, newborns have no patience whatsoever, so..." He pressed the 'talk' button. "We're havin' a very important discussion about birdwatchin'. Be up in a minute."

Clicker gasped when Joel let go of the button. "You're not gonna tell her, are you?!"

"Did I hear that right -- BIRDWATCHING? What the fuck do you even know about birdwatching? ...Sorry -- what the HECK do you know about it?"

"She's tryin' to get in the habit of not cussin' around the little one," Joel explained to Clicker. "He's too little to understand right now, but he won't be for long. To answer your question... no, we don't have to tell her a goddamn thing. It's fun to just let her wonder sometimes."

Clicker giggled softly. "She hates that. No wonder she's always mad at you."

"Maybe the better question is, since when do you CARE about birdwatching? ... ... ... ... ...Hello?"

"She also hates bein' ignored," Joel said sagely. He swirled the bottle around in the water a little; it could probably use a little more time, but if the baby was as hungry as his wailing would suggest, it was likely warm enough to get the job done.

Clicker pressed the button this time. "It's really hard to hear you over all that crying. We'll just talk to you when we come up, 'kay?" He snickered at Joel, who gave him a thumbs up.

"Well, hurry the fuck up, then! Grayson thinks I'm a fucking idiot cuz I don't seem to GET that he's fucking HUNGRY!"

Joel looked at Clicker. "Who do you reckon is more pissed off -- Ellie, or Grayson?" Then he pressed the button to say just one word, inflecting it with as much patronization as possible: "Language."

Clicker grinned. "After that? Definitely Ellie."

* * * * * * *

True to form, Ellie didn't stay pissed off for long. She and Grayson both cooled off once they got what they wanted.

Presently, the three of them were snuggling on the couch. Clicker had just gone home, after a brief rehearsal session followed by watching the rest of the movie with them, so Ellie was now in full-blown cuddle mode, curled into the crook of Joel's arm with her legs draped over his lap and the baby nestled in her arms. Grayson had kindly refrained from having any significant diaper explosion on them, and Ellie had been adorable as hell in her demonstration of how to change a little boy's diaper without getting peed on. The baby was now fast asleep; Joel had attempted more than once to extract him from her and go lay him down in his crib, but Ellie insisted that such a move was "too risky" -- as in, the kid might wake up during the transfer and start screaming his head off. Yes, they'd been warned it was a gamble to do it prematurely, but the little guy was sleeping so good now Joel was sure they were out of the danger zone. Ellie just didn't want to hear it. The DVD menu screen was playing on repeat, the ominous theme relegated to white noise (they didn't dare risk turning it off, either).

At least having the baby in her lap is making her behave... Joel had been mildly concerned that she would overestimate his ability to sense Tommy and Maria's return... perhaps over-rely on the we-were-just-playing/wrestling cover... and thus, try to see how far she could push him. He'd been prepared to threaten her with something along the lines of "If you go there, I'll have to tickle you until you pee your pants"... but she wasn't even starting to go there.

"Tonight was fun, wasn't it?" Ellie mused. "With Clicker, I mean. You don't still think I should tell him to fuck off, do you?"

Joel chuckled. "I never said you should do that."

"Well, basically!"

"Keepin' your distance ain't the same thing."

"But it is. It has to be all or nothing, right? If you're saying he can't... ~move on with Alyssa~ because of me..."

She had a point. As it was, Clicker didn't see Ellie every day... if she cut it back from three or four times a week to, say, once a week... or even less... how much difference would it make? It's a small town. They're going to run into each other anyway. The only way to really go cold turkey was to leave town. And he certainly wasn't going to recommend that course of action just to help a kid get over a crush. "I don' know. Maybe it ain't fair to pin that on you. Maybe we'd best just... stay out of it. Let nature take its course."

"Now that sounds more like the Joel I know!" Ellie said happily. "That's what I'm doing anyways. Besides, don't you always say that the only thing that matters is me and you?"

Yes. For himself, though -- not necessarily for her. He wanted her world to be bigger than that. "To an extent. That don't mean we crap on everyone else around us. But maybe Clicker just needs to figure this thing out on his own."

"Yeah -- and maybe he doesn't even have anything to figure out! Maybe he just doesn't like her enough. Maybe you shouldn't want him to settle for being with someone he doesn't have the right--"

"Whoa, hang on -- who said anything about settlin'?"

"That's what people do in this town. Sophie knows it for a fact."

Yes, they'd had some discussions on the subject. "He's twelve. It's his--"

"Thirteen."

"...Whatever. Thirteen. This is his first love... first girlfriend. Most people don't hit a homerun the first--"

"Football, Joel -- they don't... score a touchdown?"

Cute. "Sure. They don't... hit the jackpot, the first time they play."

"Oooo, good one! Like that little town we stayed in! Okay... so, yeah -- the second time is where it's at. Or, in your case... I dunno... you never did tell me how many times you've been in love."

...Just once. Oh, his teenage self had sure thought he was in love, but it hadn't been anything like what he felt for Ellie. On the surface? Maybe. But he truly hadn't had a clue back then. Then his daughter had come along... and Joel had grown the hell up in a hurry. He had no longer had the time or emotional energy to devote to any female who wasn't Sarah. Wait a minute-- "The second time, you said. And you're referrin' to yourself?"

"...Well... yeah?"

Joel tried to sharpen a fuzzy memory from last summer. "You did say... what was it... that you had sort of been in a relationship before. Is that right? You never did tell me about that. What made it only 'sort of'? Your age at the time?"

"No. I mean... not really? It was more like... we just weren't together very long. Like, at all. We were friends more than anything else, because... time ran out: the person died." Her voice had gotten very small there at the end.

"Shit -- I'm sorry, Ellie. I can't believe you never told me about this." Especially that day I was such an asshole, telling her that she didn't know what loss was... ...I do seem to have a bad habit of discounting her feelings.

"Um... I did, a little. You just didn't know who I was talking about."

"...Come again?"

"Remember I told you about my best friend? Riley?"

Yes, Joel had heard about the best friend. Ellie didn't talk about her a lot... but then, Joel didn't talk about his past all that much either, really. Things would come up, here and there... something might warrant a quick mention... but neither of them were prone to telling long stories about their past. At first, Joel had thought that his callous "let's just keep our histories to ourselves" remark might need some undoing... but he knew Ellie didn't hold that against him now. That or anything else he'd said in those early days. She was just more interested in focusing on the present and the future. It was one of the things he loved about her. However, she did clearly enjoy hearing about his past. Especially pre-outbreak. She just understood that there were things he didn't care to revisit... or was only interested in revisiting when in a certain mood (Sarah things, in particular -- although, as time went by, he was finding that he wanted to share Sarah with Ellie more and more).

Ellie was looking up at him now... watching him for a reaction. Reaction to what? Is there something about this story I ain't gonna like? "I remember. What, did she introduce you two or somethin'?"

She frowned. "Not... exactly... ugh, I don't know if I should say anything..."

"Well, you've got to, now that you said that." He tweaked her nose lightly.

"Um... okay..." She worried at her lip. "Only if you promise it won't change anything between us."

The things she worries about... "How in the hell would it change anything between us? It was back in Boston. It's in the past."

"Yeah, but there's stuff you won't tell me because you think it will change how I feel about you! Even though I've told you it won't!"

That was true. "That's different."

"You always say that," she groaned.

"I only say it when it applies."

"...And by that, you mean all the time."

"If it applies," he insisted. "But if you really want me to promise, I will promise: whatever you tell me, will not change how I feel about you in the slightest. All right?"

"You can't know that when you don't know what it iiiiiiis," she moaned.

"Did you or did you not just ask me to promise?"

"Ugh -- fine! Okay, so... Riley. She... um... ... ...the thing is... ... ..."

Joel wondered if this was one of those times where it would be easier if he just asked her questions. "So..." -Only he couldn't really think of what to ask. "Your best friend... and your first boyfriend..."

"They're the same. Er-- I mean, except she wasn't a boyfriend. Cuz she wasn't a boy -- she was a girl."

"Your... first girl friend."

"No-- but... well, yeah. Except not. ...You look confused. What I mean is... she kind of was, I guess, at the end? The very very end. I mean like... the day things changed is the same day we... got attacked."

"I see. That's..." He didn't know what to say. Other than the obvious-- "I'm so sorry that happened to you, baby girl."

She still looked worried. "Really? That's it?"

"...That's it? What do you want me to--"

"I mean like -- you're not even a little freaked out right now?"

"Why should I be freaked out?" he chuckled.

"Fuck -- it's cuz you haven't processed it yet. Maybe I'll let it sink in for a few minutes and then ask you."

"Processed... what, you mean because she was a girl?"

"Yes!"

"You know I don't care about that. People like who they like."

"People do. But when it's me..."

"You're a person, ain'tcha?"

"Joel! You know what I mean!"

"Don't get all worked up, now... don't wanna wake the baby... why don't you let me take him up--"

"No! He's happy here with us." She shifted around a little and rolled Grayson onto his tummy, rubbing his back as if he was the one that needed soothing.

Was it strange to think of Ellie with another girl? ...Maybe. A little. But Joel found he wasn't all that surprised. She had made enough remarks over the past year or so to make him think she was at least open to the idea of being with a girl. Of being-- oh, right-- "So back when you were askin' me if it was okay to... 'like both.' And things like that. You were tryin' to tell me back then? I was just a little slow on the uptake?"

"No... no, not really. I wasn't planning on telling you or anything, I was just like... I dunno..."

"Takin' my temperature on the subject?"

"Um... that's a weird way to put it, but I guess? Are you mad that I didn't tell you before?"

"No. Not at all. There's nothin' to be mad about."

"Okay, good. Just checking. But more importantly..." She looked at him earnestly. "I want you to know that... I love you. A lot."

"I know that."

"I mean... I'm super attracted to you and everything. I... love being with you. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, Joel, I swear."

He gave her a squeeze and then -- he couldn't resist -- a little kiss. "I know. Is that what you're worried about? That I would think..."

"You might think all kinds of things! But you shouldn't -- I've never lied to you about my feelings for you."

She's so cute. "That's why it's called likin' both. Bein' bisexual."

"But I'm not anymore because I only love you!"

He had to smile at that. "That don't mean you ain't... your sexuality don't have to be tied to... a specific person. You can be who you are and still--"

"But it is tied to you! You're the only one for me. I'm Joel-sexual!"

"Mm... I like that. To hell with everyone else."

"Exactly!"

He drew her in for a longer kiss. Soft and sweet, still rather chaste... but he didn't want to get in the habit of doing it around the baby (or at times when Tommy or Maria could walk through the door any minute). He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I love you, too. Thank you for tellin' me. Was it weighin' on you?"

"Not really... I just... didn't think it was something you needed to know, actually. But... now that you mention it, yeah -- I am glad I told you. You have something you wanna tell me now?"

...Is that a challenging look? "Uh, no. Ain't into dudes. Sorry."

She snickered. "Noooooo I mean you need to tell me what the f-- ...what the heck you and Clicker were talking about when you said it was birdwatching! I can't think of anything that would be a euphemism for. Did you just pull it out of your ass or what?"

"My behind," he corrected her. "This kid's first word is gonna be a swear word, you just watch."

"Pffff! He's still too little! But you're cute." She kissed him again.

He indulged her for a moment before pulling back. "Or it's gonna be... 'guess what, Daddy, I saw Uncle Joel and Aunt Ellie KISSING'..."

"Haha -- except that's way more than one word. Seriously, though -- birds? Birdwatching? Like..."

"Ask Clicker tomorrow." Preferably when I can witness it, 'cause that would be funny as hell...

"I'm asking you right now." She poked at his chest some more.

"I don't even remember, Ellie. When you get to be my age... -hey, easy, now -- you're gonna wake him up." Although it was amusing to watch her struggle with how forceful she could be without disturbing the baby.

The little guy really did seem oblivious to it all, just happily snoozing away... doing that cute rapid-breathing thing that babies do... a little less rapid than when he was awake, but still a noticeable difference. Joel still thought he would rest more comfortably in his crib, but Ellie was right -- he did seem to be content. He must feel safe... loved...

Joel was pretty damn content himself. Just sitting there with Ellie and the baby, doing absolutely nothing. It was... nice. Peaceful. Oddly satisfying. He was well aware that holding Ellie gave him a great deal of satisfaction... but having his little nephew there too, just... added to it, somehow. Must be knowing how happy it makes Ellie... yes, that makes sense. I can tell she loves him so much -- even though she's only known him less than a week.

And Joel couldn't help thinking of their little snugglefest as a snapshot of ~what might have been~, if perhaps he were quite a bit younger and Ellie quite a bit older. He wasn't normally one to dwell on such things, but the thought did cross his mind on occasion. Instead of beating it down with a two-by-four this time, he just... let it be. It ain't doing no harm.

That certainly didn't mean he wanted Ellie to be pregnant, after their close call this week... but he wasn't going there right now. Tonight is a GOOD night -- and he wasn't inclined to ruin it by poisoning a perfectly good warm'n'fuzzy fantasy with cold, dark reality.


~Continue to Chapter 34~