"Singularity" Chapter 30: "Cool Hand Luke" [30/49]
Title: "Singularity" Chapter 30: "Cool Hand Luke" [30/49]
Fandom: The Last of Us (first game only)
Characters: Ellie, Joel, Tommy, Maria, OCs
Pairings: Joel/Ellie
Warnings: Underage
Word Count for this chapter: 9,388
Rating (for fic as a whole): R
Author's Note: Chapter title from the 1967 movie
~
"I'm sure she just lost track of time."
My brother: ever the optimist. Although in this case, he was probably right... to a certain extent. "Even if she did, the sun would remind her what time it was," Joel grumbled, glancing out the window at the darkening skies.
Maria smiled at him. "It's her first full day here. She probably got caught up in seeing all her friends again."
Her sympathy grated on Joel's nerves. He said nothing as he shoveled in the last of his dinner, which he felt vaguely guilty for eating without Ellie. Even though he knew she wouldn't have expected him to wait on her this long. It wasn't even so much that he was hungry... it was just something to occupy him while he waited.
"What do you think, G-Man?" Tommy cooed to the baby lounging on a play mat on the floor. "Think Auntie Ellie found kids closer to her own age to hang out with?"
Joel wasn't sure if that was meant to be a dig on how old he was or an innocent nod to Grayson's age. He didn't ask for clarification.
The kid was surrounded by what they called a 'boppy pillow.' Joel didn't think it looked all that safe with the baby being so small that SIDS was still a risk, but when he'd started to delicately voice his concern to the new parents, they had cut him off, saying yes they were aware and they felt that it was fine as long as he was supervised and not allowed to fall asleep in the thing. Joel knew they'd been bombarded with their fair share of unsolicited advice from well-meaning-but-annoying-as-hell folks over the past few months, and their patience had worn thin. However, that didn't mean he was going to keep his mouth shut over a safety issue. As far as whether to use a pacifier or not, what age to start feeding him cereal... for anything like that, Joel didn't give two shits what they did. Besides, popular opinion seemed to change regularly on all kinds of parenting topics. Or, it used to.
With no internet to assist with research, 'current' recommendations -- beyond neighborly opinions, that is -- meant baby books published circa 2012-2013, and a lot of that shit just wasn't applicable nowadays. Joel liked kids... liked their honesty, their curiosity... but he sure was glad parenthood was behind him. He didn't have the energy to care about the million and one things parents had to concern themselves with. Besides, he already had his hands full with Ellie -- and he wasn't even her parent.
Yep... doing a real bang-up job there. Taking a perfectly good daughter and turning her into a lover instead.
He could remind himself that he wasn't her father 'til the cows came home -- it wouldn't change the fact that he was the closest thing she'd ever had to one. Tommy and Maria could -- and would -- certainly look after her... but it was a little late for that now. Hey Ellie, you need to start thinking of Tommy and Maria as your parents now so I can just fulfill that one single role in your life, not some fucked-up combination of the two. You good with that?
Hell -- Joel wasn't even good with that himself. He wanted to be both. He wanted it all. Anything she needed, he wanted to provide for her. He realized this was impossible... but that didn't stop him from wanting it anyhow.
He wasn't exactly worried about her at the moment; he just wasn't exactly not-worried, either. He'd already checked their house, in case she'd gotten confused about where they'd agreed to meet up, but he was of a mind to check there again. It beat waiting around in his brother's house, enduring his insufferable ribbing and Maria's unfounded pity. In fact, he'd seen quite enough of Tommy after spending nearly the whole damn day with him. Ellie's the only one I can be with for any length of time and NOT get fed up with, one way or another... and even that wasn't guaranteed. It was just... they knew each other so well. She might push his buttons sometimes, but she also knew when to not.
After rinsing his plate and letting his dinner settle for all of five minutes, Joel excused himself to check for Ellie at home again.
He didn't find her there, but at least now it was dark enough to see where the security lights were hitting and make some minor adjustments. He'd installed them that afternoon with a great deal of help from Charles, one of the resident electricians. The only 'real' one in town -- he had more than twenty years of experience in the field prior to the world going to hell -- although just like a lot of the older folks (Joel included), he did serve as mentor to the younger generations. The job itself wasn't complicated. Given an instruction manual or video tutorial, Joel probably could have handled it himself. Unfortunately, those were luxuries long gone, and he wasn't so prideful that he wouldn't call on an expert for assistance. The most time-consuming part had actually been procuring the best set possible from one of the Ghost Town houses. Tommy had helped out with that... and there wasn't exactly a shitload to choose from that met Joel's standards. They had to actually work, first of all; some hadn't been installed properly to begin with, and if it looked like moisture may have gotten inside the fixture, there was no use bothering with removing it to see if it still worked. He also wanted LED lights so he wouldn't have to mess around with finding replacement bulbs, and they had to have a decent range. At least two hundred feet. Tommy tried to talk him down to the fifty-to-one-hundred range, but Joel stood firm on that. He was sure there were people in town who had what he wanted on their houses already -- people who didn't need them but just happened to have them installed. He'd been prepared to talk them into swapping if need be.
Correction: he'd been prepared to coach Ellie on convincing them to swap. Not that she would need much coaching. The girl was a pro at using her considerable charms -- in tandem with those beautiful green eyes -- to get her way. Sure, Joel might be a bit biased on that count, but that didn't make it any less true, and he was certain plenty of other people would be susceptible to her... Ellieness.
As it turned out, he didn't have to go that route. Not yet. But he wanted motion sensors on all four sides of the house. And he still wanted a brick wall around the whole place. Naturally, Tommy thought that was overkill. Joel had snapped at him, pointing out that Tommy might feel differently if some idiot had nearly killed Grayson instead (Tommy thought he was blowing the incident out of proportion? The rock had missed hitting Ellie by mere inches -- and perhaps the blow wouldn't have killed her, but it very well could have). His brother felt confident that nothing like that would happen again, since it had been addressed in an emergency town meeting the next day. Even if the perpetrator hadn't attended the meeting, they would have heard about the close call later. However, this was of no comfort to Joel; he could only hope they'd felt shamed enough to think twice before doing such an idiotic thing again. Hoping certainly wasn't the same as knowing. He wanted to believe that the thrower only had a beef with him and meant no harm to Ellie. The 'decoration' on the rock would indicate that Joel was the one they wanted to send a message to, or whatever the hell they'd been trying to do (Joel could count on one hand -- half of one hand -- the number of residents known to have the balls to confront him directly).
Anyhow, Joel wasn't trying to pick fights with his brother. They just seemed to occur so easily... natural as a Runner lunging at their prey. And he had to play nice, because the sad fact was, Joel needed Tommy's help to do things like erect a wall around 'his' property -- which wasn't really Joel's at all. Oh, he could probably go behind Tommy's back and get Craig to help him procure everything he needed. But how long would it be before Tommy found out about it? Was it worth sowing more discord between them?
...Well... maybe. Ellie's well-being was always top priority. But Tommy was reasonable... level-headed... conscientious... and kind-hearted. Joel could afford to sacrifice a little pride and appeal to Tommy's better nature. If all else failed, he could sic Ellie and her eyes on him -- and he'd gotten Ellie on board with the wall based on the privacy factor alone. ("Holy shit, Joel -- you mean we could actually open the curtains?!") He had also mentioned that they could snuggle up with a blanket and stargaze in the backyard, if she missed that part of being on the road... they currently didn't have a yard at all, unless you counted the entirety of the surrounding landscape. Tommy had suggested, on multiple occasions, that they simply move to another house. Pointed out that theirs was 'too small' as it was. Joel continued to insist the house was the perfect size for them, and that he preferred sleeping on a couch because beds were too damn soft. He liked being away from the 'big city,' relatively speaking. He just wanted to make it a little safer... for Ellie. He never missed an opportunity to remind his brother of that. She had been safe staying with Tommy and Maria for that little while before they left, but Tommy knew she wouldn't live there without Joel, and Joel was pretty sure Tommy didn't want him there any more than he wanted to live there himself. Bickering aside, they got along fine, for the most part... but there was no need to be in close quarters, in each other's faces constantly. As proven by today's adventures around town...
In the end, Tommy had agreed to help Joel out without too much wheedling on Joel's part. He said he doubted they had enough materials on hand, but if they did, the goods would be up at the sister farm (Farm 4). Which was Outside. Craig was up there with a few of the guys working on the bunkhouse... which perhaps had gone up too quickly; they'd failed to take into account that it wouldn't necessarily just be men going to work up there. The women were currently staying in the farmhouse, which was meant to be used only by the family running the place, as far as living quarters. Tommy said they might not think twice about everyone staying together if it was guys they'd all known for years, but with all these new people coming... yeah, that issue is going to keep coming up. Of course, Joel would never let Ellie sleep in a room full of men, nor share a bathroom with them, regardless of how long he'd known them or how harmless they seemed. Besides that, a woman's presence curtailed all the 'locker room' bullshit that guys liked to engage in; they probably didn't want to share their quarters anyway. And the ones that do? Total perverts.
Of course, Joel had no business calling anyone else a--
No. Stop that. The Ellie voice in his head had put such thoughts to rest long ago... however, they had returned -- and gained strength -- in the past month or so. Ever since the end of their 'extended vacation' -- the abruptness of which could be traced back to another grown man taking advantage of an innocent teenager. The circumstances varied a great deal, obviously... but if we're calling a spade a spade, that's what it boils down to -- and I'm just as guilty of it as the other guy.
After tweaking the lights to his satisfaction, Joel decided he'd check the library. Just to see if she was there. To put his mind at ease. If he saw her, he would leave her be, hopefully without disturbing her at all.
When he entered the library, he could see that the night's 'feature presentations' were about to start, judging by the closed doors with the thrum of noise behind them and light still shining through their glass panels. Should I peek in there? ...No, that ain't necessary... Ellie wouldn't just decide to watch one without letting me know... His mind flashed back to their first night here, about a year ago, when Ellie had watched a movie with a bunch of teenagers and Joel had kept sneaking peeks through the little panels to assure himself she was okay. Like the kids were gonna just gang up and attack her or something. Of course, nothing had happened, and such paranoid feelings had lessened eventually. Or maybe I just got better at dealing with 'em...
A quick glance around told him Ellie wasn't in the main room. Not on a computer, not playing a board game or a card game or anything like that. He walked around enough to check the aisles of books, since she'd helped that Justin guy find a book yesterday... still no Ellie. He checked the magazine room and found it empty. The restrooms were right there, too ...No, asshole, you do NOT need to check those. He had just heard the water running in the men's, nothing from the women's...
And then Clicker burst out the door and practically bowled him over. "Shit! Oops! Ohhh -- hi, Mr. Joel! Is Ellie with you? -Wait -- I mean -- welcome back! Nice to see you. Yes I'm taller and my voice sounds funny. Sometimes, not all the time. ...So is Ellie with you?" He grinned.
Joel blinked. "Uh... no. I thought she might've been gamin' with you, before the movies start." That could explain losing track of time, with no windows to let the setting sun serve as a reminder.
"Back here? That hasn't been voted on yet. I hope they do decide to move at least one TV back here -- two would be better -- cuz even though the room is smaller there's really only so much space you actually need, y'know? And like, how many people really look at the magazines anyways? I guess it's enough that some people think it would be annoying on both sides -- the readers and the gamers -- but then, they could just move everything out, right? Really it won't make a ton of difference unless they decide to keep the library open later -- I think midnight would be good, that would be like five extra hours to play, without having to stop for movies -- maybe just on weekends if they don't wanna do it all the time -- the late hours -- I mean, obviously the littler kids won't be--"
"Son, I ain't got the foggiest idea of what you're talkin' about," Joel cut in, politely withholding the "nor do I care" at the end. If Jackson were ever to hold a rapid-babbling contest, Clicker would surely give Ellie a run for her money. "Just wonderin' where Ellie's at. But... good to see you, too, kid." He does look a little taller... if he's in the middle of a growth spurt he's gonna be taller than Ellie in no time...
"I was gaming... she was here this afternoon and she said she was gonna come back later but she didn't show up. I just had to pee before the movie starts -- I think they're waiting for me, though -- we're watching Jumper, did you see that one when it was new? It's from 2008."
"No idea. Prob'ly not." It didn't ring a bell, but Joel had forgotten a lot of inconsequential shit like that from the old days. "You enjoy yourself."
"Wait!" Clicker stopped him when he turned to leave. "Is Ellie okay? Do you need help looking for her? -Just like old times!"
Joel didn't exactly consider a few months back 'old times,' but he supposed it was for a thirteen-year-old. "No -- don't worry, I'm sure she's fine. Thank you."
"You can watch the movie with us if you want -- there's adults in there, too, it's not just kids--"
"Thank you, but Ellie's prob'ly back at the house wonderin' where I'm at," he replied, wishing he could believe it. He gave the boy a little smile. "Trust me, you're the first person I'd hire to help me find her, if it comes to that."
"Okay! G'night, Mr. Joel!"
Joel watched as Clicker ran -- actually ran -- across the main room toward one of the movie doors, theatrically shouting ahead of his arrival that he was coming. Wonder if his little girlfriend is in there waiting for him...
That was one thing Joel was depriving Ellie of: normal teenage socialization. Yes, she had friends, but she couldn't snuggle up to her boyfriend while watching movies with them. She claimed not to care about shit like that, but Joel wondered if she lied sometimes to make him feel better. What would make me feel better right now is to walk through my brother's door and find her stuffing her face at the table.
Instead, he found his brother on the couch, playing with the baby. Tommy looked up. "Find her? ...No," he answered his own question.
...Now what? Joel could wait for her at home, but she'd be more likely to come here first. He plopped down on the loveseat, which was perpendicular to Tommy's couch, and ran his hand through his hair... as if the gesture would clear away the worry. I'm sure she's fine. She must be down at the farm. Maybe Esther talked her into having that piece of pie she passed up yesterday, and they got to talking, and time just... Except it was still hard to believe that time had gotten so away from her that she hadn't noticed the sun setting.
It's pretty damn dark now. Where the hell is she? Is she mad at me? ...Pretty sure she ain't. She usually lets me know it, one way or another, when she is. She DOES have her gun... not the belt, but at least the one gun. And her knife. She is NOT in trouble. She can take care of herself. ...But then why hasn't she come back yet? Maybe she fell and twisted her ankle and is out there just waiting for me to find her...
That seemed unlikely. He'd already covered the path between this house and theirs, their house and the library... anywhere else, someone would probably see her and help her. Except if she was coming back from the farm? She didn't have her bag with her, which meant she probably didn't have her flashlight. Maybe I should check down there... that had to be where she was. There was no road leading from the farm to their house, so if he were to head down there, it was possible they could pass each other and not even realize it. Ellie had made the trip in the dark more often than Joel, so she wasn't as likely to veer off course... and he would probably be close enough to her path that she would notice his flashlight... But would it be overkill to keep looking for her? ...Yes, asshole -- you're Inside now. She's FINE. Quit worrying. Maybe it's been so long she forgot the way, or got lost somewhere else.
-No, that was ridiculous. Ellie knew her way around town as well as Joel did, if not better. And she certainly knew her way to Tommy and Maria's, from any corner of town.
Maybe she met up with one of her enemies and they got into it? That was a more likely possibility. Even so, would they have gotten so 'into it' that she'd get back so late?
"You need some baby therapy," Tommy declared, and he started scooching towards Joel.
"I'm good." Joel held his hand up and leaned back in his seat. "Or I will be when she gets here. ...I s'pose I should just wait for her at home. Get outta your hair."
Tommy looked at him for a moment. "I can get on the horn an' round up a few people to go look for--"
"No, no... I'm sure she's fine." And he certainly wasn't expecting Ellie to go Outside for any reason, but Tommy had already assured him that Joel's "Ellie is not permitted to leave with anyone but me" rule was still in effect.
"I could at least tell 'em to keep an eye out, if you want?"
"Not yet, all right? I don't wanna jump the gun. She ain't that late. ...Ain't late at all, really, seein' as how we didn't set a time." Which was true, but generally, on the days they ate with Tommy and Maria, Ellie arrived well before dinnertime.
"All right then. You do seem..."
Joel arched an eyebrow at him. "I seem what?"
"...Not all that freaked out. So you must know she's okay, somehow."
His gut did seem to be telling him he was overreacting; it was his brain doing the worrying. If it were the other way around, he wouldn't be content to just sit around waiting for her. "How do you know that?" he wondered out loud.
"I've seen you, big brother. I've seen you when she's in trouble -- or when you think she is... and I've seen you when I thought she was in trouble but you were just... Cool Hand Luke. Kinda like you are right now. It's like you know."
Joel snorted. "What's that got to do with Paul Newman? Have you ever even seen that movie?" He couldn’t remember him ever watching it as a kid.
"Laid-back, then. Not freakin' out. That better?"
"I wouldn't go that far. Maybe I ain't exactly climbin' the walls right now, but I still need to lay eyes on her before I--" Joel paused mid-sentence, his ears perking up at the footsteps rapidly approaching the door. Please let that be her!
A staccato version of the Ellie knock preceded the door's opening, and Joel relaxed at last.
"Sorry!" she cried -- rather hoarsely -- as she hurried over to them. "Sorry sorry -- I didn't mean to be so late -- don't hate me! I'm sorry!" She flung her arms around Joel's neck -- and since he was still seated, she was basically climbing into his lap.
"Calm down. You don't sound too good," he observed with a chuckle.
"That's cuz I'm dying of thirst!" she proclaimed, pulling away from him. "I finished my water ages ago and I've just been talking talking talking-- not used to talking so much anymore -- heyyyyy Grayson! -Hi Tommy," she added, almost like an afterthought. "I need to wash my hands before I touch him, I know. First I need a fucking drink." She coughed, as if to emphasize the point, and scurried over to the kitchen to help herself to the pitcher of ice water (possibly ice-less by now) still on the table. "Where's Maria?" she asked before taking a few big thirsty gulps.
"She's upstairs takin' a bath," Tommy replied. He leaned back with Grayson on his chest, situating the baby on his tummy. "If she waited 'til this one goes down, she'd fall asleep in the tub."
Ellie managed some kind of "oh" sound in acknowledgment between more gulps of water, then finally set her glass down with a satisfied "ahhhh." When she spoke, her voice sounded much more normal. "You guys ate already, right? -Yeah, okay, I see you did -- but you left me a plate -- and you left this on for me? Aww. It smells so good in here... it's the pork loin with rosemary! Isn't it!" She lifted the lid off the crockpot. "Yes! So yummy. I'm glad you didn't wait for me. I would've felt super extra guilty. I hope you didn't wait too long! What time is it anyway? -Shit -- it's later than I thought. Sorry! I'll eat fast if you guys wanna go to bed -- or you can just go, it's not like I don't know how to let myself out --"
"Shoot, it ain't that late," Tommy chuckled. "Maybe for Joel, but we're nowhere near as old as him."
Yes, my brother is just a goddamn RIOT with these age jokes. But he could see it had amused Ellie, so Joel just played his part and shot him a glare.
"You take your time, sweetheart," Tommy continued. "How was it? Your first day back."
"It was pretty awesome, actually!" Ellie chirped. "I saw lots of people! Best of all -- I saw Annie, and we talked. A lot. Just talked and talked and talked. We figured we'd be in trouble for getting home so late but we still had more talking to do, so... sorry, Joel!" She sat down with her full plate and immediately began to dig in.
Joel had taken a seat at the table across from her usual spot just before she seated herself. "So you've said. You weren't even at the farm, then?" Since she had indicated they'd both get in trouble...
"Nope! We went for a walk. A looooooong walk. Well, to be honest, we sat down, too, in a couple places. We weren't walking the whole time. We just walked and talked--"
"Finish chewin' before shovelin' in more," Joel chided her affectionately. "And before you speak, too. Christ -- didn't you eat today?"
"Ages ago," she replied with her mouth full. "Sorry -- I'm just -- I dunno! Happy to see you, I guess. It was weird, not seeing you all day. Wasn't it weird for you?"
Joel actually loved seeing her so... animated. He just didn't want her to choke. "Sure. We'll get used to it."
"You shoulda seen him before you got here," said Tommy, who was now pacing nearby with the baby on his shoulder. "Cryin' about how you ditched him to be with your friends... whinin' about how miserable he is without you..."
"What? Really?" cried Ellie -- and from the abashed look on her face, it seemed she actually believed that horseshit. "Joel--"
"I was doin' no such thing." Joel shot another perfunctory glare in his brother's direction, but he didn't really care how much Tommy teased him, now that Ellie was back.
"Not in so many words, maybe," Tommy smirked.
Ellie still seemed to believe Tommy's bullshit, though. "I thought you were okay going separate ways today! If I had known--"
"I was," he assured her. "I am. I'm fine with it. Always have been. It's good for you to see your friends. Tommy's just bein' a jerk like usual. But... well, as for tomorrow..."
"I'm going to the farm tomorrow," Ellie replied. "Unless... I shouldn't? Shit -- I should probably ask you this stuff. No schedule to stick on the fridge yet..."
"You don't gotta ask me nothin'." I'm trying to NOT be your father, for chrissakes! Although Joel would actually feel better having a schedule to go by. "I was actually gonna ask you... how you felt about me goin' up to Farm 4. Since it's Outside. But just there an' back -- no eight days this time. Or whatever it was." (He remembered; it was eight days. Long Ellie-less days.)
"We're not s'posed to go Outside without the other, remember?" Ellie protested.
Okay, good -- we ARE on the same page on that one. As far as he knew, Ellie didn't even know that the gates had all been instructed not to let her out without him. It hadn't been an issue, once he'd extracted that promise from her not to go sacrifice herself to whatever remained of the Fireflies -- at least not without discussing it further with him, and by the grace of God, she certainly seemed to have made peace with that. "I didn't remember if the sister farm counted or not. As a day trip."
"Of course it counts! Fuck, it's even farther away than the dam!"
She really was hungry... her plate's half gone already. "It's clear. No hunters or Infected."
"Doesn't matter! Nothing is ever guaranteed to stay clear from one day to the next. From one hour to the next, for that matter."
Tommy chuckled. "Damn, Joel, she sounds like you! Again."
That's my girl! "That's right. But still, I think--"
"I'm coming with you!" Ellie declared. "Whatever you have to do up there, I won't get in the way. I want to go up there anyway! So this is perfect!"
"...You do?"
"Yeah! And -- like maybe I could be sort of... what's the word... incog...neato?"
"Uh... okay. Why do you wanna do that?"
"I need to spy on someone!"
"Really?" Tommy was surprised. "Who would that be? It's mostly new folks up there. Not a lot of people you know."
"Oh, there's a bunch of people I know up there. Most of the Nebraska people went, right? I know them, kinda. But... not just them. There's someone else," she said mysteriously.
Joel gave her a look. "What kind of trouble could you possibly have gotten yourself--"
"I'm not in trouble!" she laughed. "Just cuz I wanna spy on someone doesn't mean--"
"It means you're fixin' to get yourself in trouble, if you ain't in it already," Joel amended.
"Good thing Cool Hand Luke will be there to save the day," Tommy quipped.
"Luke? Who's that?" asked Ellie. "Oh, you mean Lucas? Did he go up there, too? I could've sworn he was in the library earlier. Guess not. But how would he ~save the day~?"
"Like I said before, Tommy's just bein' a jerk," Joel explained. He found Ellie's naïveté utterly adorable, and it had a way of tempering his irritation. "He's in fine form today. Must be the sleep deprivation."
"Could very well be, big brother!" He hoisted Grayson up over his head. "Okay, little man, what say you'n'me go get you all cleaned up an' ready for bed before Mama gets out of her bath? ...Hmm, maybe Mama did fall asleep in there..."
"You tryin' to make him drool on your face?" Joel teased.
"I am, yes, that's exactly what I want him to do! If I'm lucky, it'll come out all milky!"
Ellie giggled. "You guys are silly. Aww, lemme say good night... I won't touch him..."
Tommy walked over to her, holding the baby against his chest, facing outward, and with his free hand, he made the little guy's hand bop up and down. "G'night, Auntie Ellie 'n' Uncle Joel!" he said in a ridiculously high-pitched voice, his mouth half-closed in a piss-poor attempt at ventriloquism. The baby made the perfect 'straight man' for such goofiness... but Joel reckoned he'd be smiling and laughing soon enough.
Ellie gave Grayson a huge smile. "Good night, little dude! Sweet dreams!"
Tommy chuckled. "Sounds funny, callin' you Aunt an' Uncle together like that. Like you're married or somethin'. You should really be cousin El--"
"Nooooooo I wanna be his auntie!" Ellie whined. "Not some stupid cousin! You said it was okay!"
"What difference does it make?" Joel asked, amused. "You're gonna be a big part of his life, no matter what name you give yourself."
"I want to be his auntie," Ellie insisted.
"Okay, Auntie Ellie," Tommy replied, using the fake baby voice again.
Ellie gasped. "Omigod -- did you see that? He smiled! He smiled at me! I mean, maybe it was more at the voice, but -- ohhh he's so cute!"
"It's just gas," Joel told her.
"I don't think so," said Tommy, turning the baby around to pinch his cheek. "He's been givin' us some real ones lately... haven't you, G-man? Here, Joel, I think he wants you to hold him..."
Joel snorted. "No he don't. Look at him -- he's about to start cryin'. Give him to me an' he'll start screamin' his head off."
Ellie rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever, Joel -- just hold him already!"
Joel shook his head. "Not a good idea, kiddo -- he looks hungry." Or... more like don't-give-me-to-this-strange-dude, really.
"What do you mean he looks hungry?" asked Ellie. "How the fuck do you know?"
"He is gettin' a little fussy," said Tommy, "and it's about time for him to eat again. You're off the hook, big brother."
"What'd I miss?" Maria called from upstairs... from the railing, presumably, out of sight of the dining table.
"Nothin' much... just a little smile for Joel an' Ellie..." Tommy disappeared around the corner.
"Aww!"
Maria did come poke her head in to say hi to Ellie and chat for a minute (and Joel took the opportunity to refill Ellie's plate for her; she had finished the first helping so fast he didn't even need to ask if she wanted more). Ellie assured Maria that she and Joel would tidy up the kitchen shortly and then let themselves out. But just before Tommy and Maria headed upstairs, Ellie called out to them. "Wait! I forgot to tell you guys something!"
They dutifully came back over to the table, Maria cradling the fussing baby against her shoulder and rubbing his back soothingly. "I hope it's quick 'cause he's about to drown you out," she warned Ellie.
"It is: you guys were wrong about Clicker!"
They both looked puzzled. "Wrong how?" asked Tommy.
"Alyssa is not his girlfriend! He told me himself!"
That surprised all three of them. "He did?" Maria asked dubiously.
"Yep! So the rumor mill strikes again. They're just friends!" She happily dug into her second helping, with nearly the same amount of enthusiasm she'd had for the first.
Tommy and Maria exchanged an amused look. "That's... interesting," said Tommy. "Real interesting. Seein' as how he was callin' her his girlfriend, before."
"And Georgia says she's caught them kissing," Maria added (in reference to Clicker's adoptive mother). "Maybe caught isn't exactly the right word... Alyssa comes over and they hang out in his room, but the rule is he has to keep the door open. At least, that's how things were, last we heard. I guess maybe something happened since then?"
Ellie's jaw had nearly dropped to her plate at the kissing remark (thankfully, she managed to swallow her bite first). "Oh. Um... okay. I... guess I misunderstood. He has to keep the door open? Like..."
"Mom 'n' Dad are okay with her comin' over, but they don't want things to get out of hand," Tommy explained. "And they don't let him go over to her house. Guess they don't trust Jacob to keep an eye on 'em or somethin'."
"They're only thirteen!" Ellie laughed. "It's not like they're gonna have sex!"
Joel chuckled. "The equipment works at thirteen."
Grayson let out an impatient quit-talking-and-feed-me wail. "Go ahead -- sorry!" Ellie waved them off.
Maria headed upstairs, but Tommy hung back a moment to question Ellie. "Did he tell you they were never together?"
"Um... he just said she's not his girlfriend, so... no, not really? Maybe he wasn't lying. Maybe they just recently broke up!"
Tommy nodded. "That must be it. Must've happened... oh, let's see... maybe five minutes after he heard you were back in town?"
"What?!" Ellie turned an amusingly bright shade of red. "No, that's-- no way! Why would he-- that's just--"
"Good night!" Tommy smirked before following Maria up the stairs.
Ellie had the most adorable scandalized look on her face. "Joel, I swear, it's not my fault they broke up! I'd never make him do that!"
This oughta be good... "You'd never make him do that?"
"Of course not!"
"So... you admit you have some power over him, then."
"No! I mean-- I would never be the reason they broke up!"
"How do you know that? You inside his head?"
Ellie looked pained. "Cuz I've never given him any reason to think-- why would he? He knows I don't like him like that!"
"Does he?"
"Yes!"
"You've told him."
"What? Told him that I... don't like him that way?"
"Right."
"Why would I do that? That's mean."
"It's honest. But, since you haven't told him... kid prob'ly thinks he's got a shot."
"Are you fucking kidding me? He's three years younger than me!"
"Two an' a half, remember? He made sure to point that out when--"
"Whatever! Way too young."
Joel just gave her a look. We probably shouldn't be talking about this here... "Keep your voice down. Baby's goin' to sleep."
"Not yet, he's not -- and he can't even hear us up there." But Ellie did lower the volume... and seemed to pick up on the real reason Joel wanted her to keep her voice low. "Three years is a lot, Joel. Because it's three years the wrong way."
"Wrong way?"
"Yeah. Like, if he was three years older, I could understand if maybe--"
"Then you'd give him a shot."
"No, but it would make more sense that he might think I would."
"I see. Well, I'm sure he thinks he's old enough for you. Sometimes... we think someone might be too young for us, see... and the other person disagrees... tries like hell to change the other one's mind..."
"This is different!" Ellie hissed.
"Mmhmm. How so? -Wait, don't answer that, I think we better--"
"It's different when I'm the one who's too old," she answered anyway. ...Which really didn't explain anything. "But... do you think what they said is true?"
"They've got no reason to lie."
"They might be playing a prank or something, though."
"...I think they were bein' straight up about it. Don't you?"
Ellie frowned. "Okay, so... say it's true. That's like... really shitty of Clicker to just..."
Joel shrugged. "They're thirteen. People don't find their... soulmates, an' whatnot... at thirteen."
"Nope, that happens when they're fourteen!" she grinned.
"Ellie," he said warningly.
"Only they don't realize it 'til they're fifteen," she whispered.
"I'm jus' sayin'... he prob'ly likes her all right, but when it comes down to it, she's just a poor substitute for you." Joel could certainly sympathize.
"But... that sucks! It's not fair!"
"No, it sure ain't. But no one ever said life--"
"If she likes him, why can't he just like her back? That way, everyone's happy!"
That's a bit much, even for Ellie. "Yes... in Ellie's perfect world, that's how it would go down."
"It's such an easy fix!"
Joel chuckled. "What if he's thinkin' the same thing? 'Why can't Ellie just like me back? We'd be so PERFECT together...' "
Ellie looked horrified. "But-- but we wouldn't be!"
"Well, he don' know that. We like who we like."
"But-- uuggghhhh," she groaned. "Me and him? It just makes no sense. Can't he fucking see that?"
"...Are you hearin' yourself right now?"
"Uh... yeah?"
"You're sayin' you an' him make no sense. But maybe you do on paper. -In theory," he amended, since he couldn't recall if she was familiar with that expression. "You've got things in common, you--"
"Oh my God, Joel, seriously?!" It was a wonder she was still managing to keep her voice low. "We don't make sense on paper, on dirt, on... anything you wanna try to make sense of it on! He's a little boy!"
"Depends on your point of view," Joel said sensibly. "He's grown up a bit over the winter. Physically, at least. He's taller than you now. His voice--"
"We're the same height!"
"--is gettin' deeper. At thirteen, he's got... a man's urges." (She snickered at that one.) "He's a teenager. So are you. And you're still a little girl, in some--"
"I am not! You don't even think that anymore!"
"Says who? You're still my baby girl. Always will be. No matter how old you get. Back to my point... me an' Sophie. Didn't we pretend to be your parents on the road 'cause it's what made the most sense? But it was a lie. ...I'm sure you can think of another couple that... as far as everyone else is concerned, makes no sense. But it makes sense to them. To the couple." Well, it does SOME of the time...
Ellie looked like she was about to bury her head in her arms, but then realized her plate was still there. She covered her face with her hands instead. "But I don't want... I don't want him to feel like that, about me! It only works if both people like each other!"
"Works best that way, yes. You done?"
She peeked through her fingers at him. "Except for the part where I figure out what I'm supposed to do? I guess so."
"I meant with your plate." A courtesy question, since she had pretty much inhaled both helpings and the plate looked like it had been licked clean by a dog.
"Oh. Yeah, take it. I'm pretty full now." She slumped back in her seat, looking so dejected that for the first time, Joel got the feeling she wasn't secretly enjoying her ego-boosting predicament with Clicker.
"We'll talk about it at home, yeah? You wanna give me a hand?"
They cleaned up the kitchen, said good night to Tommy and Maria in the baby's room, and headed out. When Ellie took his hand, Joel didn't protest. She was a bit too old to be 'holding Daddy's hand,' but the gesture was harmless enough -- there was nothing sexual about it. They had done it before they left town, and maybe it had added some fuel to the rumor fire, but people were going to flap their lips no matter what. As long as they didn't treat Ellie any differently, didn't hurt her in any way... Joel didn't give two shits what they said behind their backs. Not about innocent things like hand-holding, at least.
Ellie behaved on the walk home. They kept a very leisurely pace, restricting their topics to 'dinner conversation,' which they'd essentially missed out on due to Ellie's late arrival. Traded chit chat about their respective days... exchanged gossip they'd heard on the happenings since they'd left. Unsurprisingly, Ellie's arsenal far surpassed Joel's on that front. Not only because she'd spent the majority of her day talking to people, but because the girl was like a sponge when it came to that shit. Joel was more like... well, something between a sponge and a sieve. She had heard some bad things, but didn't want to talk about them yet -- so, per her wishes, they stuck to good or neutral news only. Joel did learn that the person Ellie wanted to spy on at the sister farm was Christine, although she refused to tell him why. He would've thought she'd be happy to know that her old nemesis wasn't living in town anymore and that she wouldn't have to lay eyes on her again for the foreseeable future. She said that she was, but... that there was a but.
Even though he had just finished telling her about the security lights, Ellie let out a cute little yelp when the beam was activated. "Damn... if I hadn't told you about it, I reckon you would've been screamin' bloody murder," he teased.
"Probably! Fuck," she laughed. "I would've thought... who the fuck is in our house shining big-ass flashlights at us?!"
Ellie tried out her new house key, and Joel walked around the house -- 'doing a lap,' as they called it -- before coming inside. It was an old habit he wasn't willing to let go of, lights or no lights. In theory, a person could trigger the lights, come up to the house and stay perfectly still until the lights turned back off, and lie in wait as long as they wanted -- they could slink around the house without even tripping the sensors again, if they were careful to stay against the wall.
Ellie was waiting for him on the couch when he'd completed the lap. "I have a question for you."
"Uh-oh." Joel started shedding his gear. "What kind of question?"
"Okay, so... Tommy and Maria are supposed to be my aunt and uncle, right? But how can they be, when I'm supposed to be the baby's aunt? They said it was okay -- I'm Auntie Ellie."
"You're really more like a cousin. You just don't like--"
"Fuck that! When I turn eighteen and we don't have to hide anymore, then I'd suddenly be his aunt? No. That's dumb."
Interesting. "So you're... preparin' for the future."
"Yes! Exactly! -Would you hurry up already?" she complained. "It only took me two seconds to get couch-ready."
Joel chuckled. "That's because you're smart: you let me be the one to carry all this shit around."
"Yep!" she grinned. "And cuz I went to the bathroom right before we left?"
"...That's part of bein' couch-ready? Figured that was more of a... bed-ready thing."
"It's both!"
He finally sat down beside her, and found himself immediately covered in Ellie. "Hi," he smiled when she kissed him.
"Hi," she smiled back. "I've missed you..."
"Me too." He shifted beneath her a little. "You sure you wanna be sittin' like this?"
"Yes," she purred.
"Thought you wanted to talk."
"I do -- okay, so, you said you were okay with the baby before..."
What? "Uh... I thought you wanted to talk about Clicker."
"Later! So... are you okay? With Grayson?" she pressed.
"Sure."
"...No, really."
He tweaked her cute little nose. "What do you mean by 'okay'? I told you, he'll be more fun when he gets bigger."
"Yeah but like... you seem to have zero interest in him. Your own nephew."
"Well, maybe that will change when he starts doin' more things of interest," he suggested.
"He does lots of interesting things already!"
"He does? Let's see... he eats, he pees, he sleeps. That about covers it."
Ellie sighed. "You're impossible."
"I'm honest," he countered.
"Are you, though? Are you really?"
"...What are you gettin' at? You still think this has somethin' to do with Sarah?"
"Well, does it?"
"No. That was... a lifetime ago. She was part of a different life."
"You're the same person, Joel. You didn't like... die and get reincarnated somehow."
Maybe not, but I was all but reborn when I started caring about YOU... "I'm tellin' you. Babies are just... they ain't my scene. That's all."
Ellie laughed. "Your scene? What's your scene, then?"
He pulled her in close to press his lips to hers, and lingered there a moment. "You. This. This is my scene."
"Oh yeah?" she breathed. "What about this?"
She kissed him again, opening her mouth... coaxing his open with that insistent tongue of hers...
"This too," he agreed. But he stopped her when she reached for his belt. "Not yet, baby girl. If I fall asleep this early, I'll be wakin' up at--"
"Who said anything about sleeping?"
He chuckled. "You know it don't take long for me to fall asleep after."
"I'll just have to keep you up, then, won't I," she grinned. "Literally!"
"Ellie--"
"Okay, okay. Fine. But I'm not moving."
"Fine by me. I like you right where you're at."
They exchanged a few more kisses... and then she started giggling. "How bad would it suck to be Clicker and Alyssa, kissing in his room... his mom and dad like, just casually walking by all the time, making sure they don't start taking clothes off and stuff..."
"It would suck pretty bad," Joel agreed.
"It's dumb, really. Cuz if they really wanted to have sex, they could just go to Ghost Town. That's what everyone else does, if they have parents."
"...Everyone else?"
"Well -- I mean, not like there's that many teenagers here? But everyone knows that's all you have to do."
Yes, kids would always find a way. Still-- "Maybe that's one good thing about movin' people in to some of those houses. When it gets down to just the real shitty ones left... like your burnt house..."
"It's not mine," she laughed.
"No one else wants it -- it's yours. With nowhere else to go, kids'll have to resort to usin' parked cars... or go to the lake or somethin'... just like the old days. Only safer." He'd seen the condition some of those houses were in.
"Um... did you just say something is actually safer now than it used to be?" Ellie marveled.
"I guess I did. Or it would be, if they'd quit foolin' around in dilapidated houses."
It was a little surprising the teen pregnancy rate wasn't higher; then again, as Ellie had said, there weren't all that many teens. Probably less than twenty. More girls than boys, according to Ellie (who could probably recite the exact numbers, excluding the new folks). Still, the town was not completely free of pregnancy-related drama. An acquaintance of Ellie's had become pregnant but suffered a miscarriage... she didn't have a boyfriend, and refused to name the father, so that situation was rife with speculation. Another girl had gone to Idaho for an abortion disguised as something else; Ellie wasn't sure about that one because Annie couldn't confirm it. Sounds like it was POORLY disguised... As far as why someone felt the disguise was needed? -More speculation.
"See what you're saving me from?" Ellie said lightly.
"What's that?" ...Teen pregnancy?
"Duh -- I don't have to go to all that trouble! I can have sex with you in my own bed. With the door open!" She giggled. "Oh man. If we were in like some... parallel universe or something, where you had kept on being my dad, I can just imagine... I bring some guy home, we go in my room and you make me leave the door open, so you just happen to walk by every ten seconds... even though this house is so small that there's nowhere to walk to except that hall closet... ha!"
He inwardly cringed at her wording ('kept on being my dad'? ugh), but played along. "To hell with that -- what makes you think he'd even make it into your bedroom with his balls intact?"
"Aww -- you'd shoot off his balls?"
"Yep. Good thing I ain't your dad."
"You'd have to shoot your own balls off!"
He outwardly cringed at that one. "I should. It'd solve a lot of problems."
She whacked him on the arm. "Shut up! It wouldn't solve anything! So... what if it was a girl? No balls to shoot?"
The question surprised him, though perhaps it shouldn't have; Ellie did ask purely rhetorical questions sometimes that weren't actually thinly-veiled attempts to tell him something. ...At least, I THINK that's what she's doing here? "Then... I wouldn't shoot her balls."
"You'd shoot her pussy?"
"No!" he laughed. "Jesus, Ellie--"
"So you'd just... let her have her way with me? Cuz she's a girl?"
"Basically... yeah. I reckon so. As long as you were into it."
"...Huh. What if I was into it with the guy?"
"Nope. Girls only. Go ahead, call me a sexist pig."
"Ha – okay, whatever – so you'd have to watch us. To make sure I was into it."
"Uh... no. That's where I draw the line. No father wants to see his sweet little girl... like that." Proof positive that I will never be your father, baby girl...
"Okay. So Dad-Joel wouldn't. Would you?"
"What do you mean, would I?"
"The you that's not my dad."
"Well, if I'm me, then..." After all this time together... how close they'd become... Ellie still had the power to make him uncomfortable. She looks serious, too... be cool, Luke... "Are you tryin' to suggest we have a threesome? With another girl?"
Her jaw dropped for the second time that night. "What? No! Where the fuck did that come from?"
"Just voyeurism, then. ...You'd want me to just watch you," he added since she didn't seem to recognize the term.
"Um... no... ? Are you trying to suggest something?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"I promise." He gave her a squeeze. "I don't think I could share you, even if it's just with another girl."
"Oh my God -- you are sooooo sexist!" she laughed.
"That ain't sexist. I said I couldn't share you with anyone."
"That is not what you said! If it was a girl, you'd think about it, but a boy-- a boy gets an immediate 'hell no.' Right?" She paused for him to acknowledge this. "See? Totally sexist! Cheating is cheating! Whether it's with a girl or a guy. It's the same thing!"
"Who said anythin' about cheatin'?"
"We're talking about... me being with someone else. When you're you, not dad-you. So... yeah. Cheating."
"Not if I'm there with you." That's a porno, is what that is...
"Oh, so if you're cheating too, it's all good?"
"Neither of us is cheatin' if we're both in on it. Cheatin' is... sneakin' around behind the other's back."
"So... if I kiss a girl right in front of you, not at all sneaky-like--"
"I'd have to be cool with it first. Is there some girl you wanna kiss? Just give me a heads up first and--"
"No, shut up!" She pretended to throttle him. "You shouldn't be cool with it! And you're the only person I wanna kiss." Punctuated with a little kiss.
"That's real sweet of you."
"It's just so funny you wouldn't be jealous of a girl."
"I might still be a lil' jealous." Joel shrugged. "But... I get it. Girls are pretty. Dudes... ain't. I'm lucky you wanna be with an ugly old-- ow!"
"You're not ugly! Or old!"
"I sure ain't pretty, though."
"You are -- you're beautiful! Gorgeous! Absolutely stunning! -No no nooooo don't tickle meeeeee! Don't-- ahhhhh!"
As usual, the tickle assault devolved into a mock wrestling match on the floor (he really did not want to make her pee her pants -- and having just emptied her bladder twenty minutes ago didn't guarantee that she wouldn't, as he'd learned the hard way). He let her think she was winning from time to time -- or rather, let her pretend to think she was winning -- only to pin her again, or break her hold. She did surprise him a couple of times... but for the most part, her attempts to get the upper hand involved distracting him, which proved futile (though quite fun). She squirmed and wriggled, squealing adorably... until Joel finally called a truce so he could kiss the hell out of her.
"A girl would never be this fun to play with, see?" she panted.
"You still thinkin' about girls after all that?" he teased. "Maybe she'd be even more fun."
"No. Uh-uh. I'd kick her ass. Where's the fun in that?"
Joel chuckled. "Maybe you'd enjoy a more even match -- someone in your weight class."
"Nope! And then-- then if I wanted her to squeeze me as hard as she can, I practically wouldn't even feel it!"
"...If that was a hint, I really can't, like this."
"When we get up, then! Which... we should, soon, cuz I'd rather be on the bed. We can still talk and stuff, though!"
"...Uh-huh."
"We talk all the time in bed!"
"I s'pose we do. Come on... up!" He pulled her up with him, cringing and rubbing his shoulder.
"Oh shit -- did I hurt you?"
"No," he chuckled. "It's fine. Just a sore spot."
"You don't make faces unless it really hurts."
"I'm just... gettin' old, Ellie."
"Then we shouldn't play like that! You don't have to hug me hard if it--" She sucked in her breath when he squeezed her.
He eased up after a moment and kissed her forehead. "Don't worry about me."
She smiled. "Okay. I... really like it when you do that."
"I know you do." He kissed her softly.
"I love you, Joel."
He smiled. "I know that, too."
"And you love me."
"Always."
~Continue to Chapter 31~
Fandom: The Last of Us (first game only)
Characters: Ellie, Joel, Tommy, Maria, OCs
Pairings: Joel/Ellie
Warnings: Underage
Word Count for this chapter: 9,388
Rating (for fic as a whole): R
Author's Note: Chapter title from the 1967 movie
~
"I'm sure she just lost track of time."
My brother: ever the optimist. Although in this case, he was probably right... to a certain extent. "Even if she did, the sun would remind her what time it was," Joel grumbled, glancing out the window at the darkening skies.
Maria smiled at him. "It's her first full day here. She probably got caught up in seeing all her friends again."
Her sympathy grated on Joel's nerves. He said nothing as he shoveled in the last of his dinner, which he felt vaguely guilty for eating without Ellie. Even though he knew she wouldn't have expected him to wait on her this long. It wasn't even so much that he was hungry... it was just something to occupy him while he waited.
"What do you think, G-Man?" Tommy cooed to the baby lounging on a play mat on the floor. "Think Auntie Ellie found kids closer to her own age to hang out with?"
Joel wasn't sure if that was meant to be a dig on how old he was or an innocent nod to Grayson's age. He didn't ask for clarification.
The kid was surrounded by what they called a 'boppy pillow.' Joel didn't think it looked all that safe with the baby being so small that SIDS was still a risk, but when he'd started to delicately voice his concern to the new parents, they had cut him off, saying yes they were aware and they felt that it was fine as long as he was supervised and not allowed to fall asleep in the thing. Joel knew they'd been bombarded with their fair share of unsolicited advice from well-meaning-but-annoying-as-hell folks over the past few months, and their patience had worn thin. However, that didn't mean he was going to keep his mouth shut over a safety issue. As far as whether to use a pacifier or not, what age to start feeding him cereal... for anything like that, Joel didn't give two shits what they did. Besides, popular opinion seemed to change regularly on all kinds of parenting topics. Or, it used to.
With no internet to assist with research, 'current' recommendations -- beyond neighborly opinions, that is -- meant baby books published circa 2012-2013, and a lot of that shit just wasn't applicable nowadays. Joel liked kids... liked their honesty, their curiosity... but he sure was glad parenthood was behind him. He didn't have the energy to care about the million and one things parents had to concern themselves with. Besides, he already had his hands full with Ellie -- and he wasn't even her parent.
Yep... doing a real bang-up job there. Taking a perfectly good daughter and turning her into a lover instead.
He could remind himself that he wasn't her father 'til the cows came home -- it wouldn't change the fact that he was the closest thing she'd ever had to one. Tommy and Maria could -- and would -- certainly look after her... but it was a little late for that now. Hey Ellie, you need to start thinking of Tommy and Maria as your parents now so I can just fulfill that one single role in your life, not some fucked-up combination of the two. You good with that?
Hell -- Joel wasn't even good with that himself. He wanted to be both. He wanted it all. Anything she needed, he wanted to provide for her. He realized this was impossible... but that didn't stop him from wanting it anyhow.
He wasn't exactly worried about her at the moment; he just wasn't exactly not-worried, either. He'd already checked their house, in case she'd gotten confused about where they'd agreed to meet up, but he was of a mind to check there again. It beat waiting around in his brother's house, enduring his insufferable ribbing and Maria's unfounded pity. In fact, he'd seen quite enough of Tommy after spending nearly the whole damn day with him. Ellie's the only one I can be with for any length of time and NOT get fed up with, one way or another... and even that wasn't guaranteed. It was just... they knew each other so well. She might push his buttons sometimes, but she also knew when to not.
After rinsing his plate and letting his dinner settle for all of five minutes, Joel excused himself to check for Ellie at home again.
He didn't find her there, but at least now it was dark enough to see where the security lights were hitting and make some minor adjustments. He'd installed them that afternoon with a great deal of help from Charles, one of the resident electricians. The only 'real' one in town -- he had more than twenty years of experience in the field prior to the world going to hell -- although just like a lot of the older folks (Joel included), he did serve as mentor to the younger generations. The job itself wasn't complicated. Given an instruction manual or video tutorial, Joel probably could have handled it himself. Unfortunately, those were luxuries long gone, and he wasn't so prideful that he wouldn't call on an expert for assistance. The most time-consuming part had actually been procuring the best set possible from one of the Ghost Town houses. Tommy had helped out with that... and there wasn't exactly a shitload to choose from that met Joel's standards. They had to actually work, first of all; some hadn't been installed properly to begin with, and if it looked like moisture may have gotten inside the fixture, there was no use bothering with removing it to see if it still worked. He also wanted LED lights so he wouldn't have to mess around with finding replacement bulbs, and they had to have a decent range. At least two hundred feet. Tommy tried to talk him down to the fifty-to-one-hundred range, but Joel stood firm on that. He was sure there were people in town who had what he wanted on their houses already -- people who didn't need them but just happened to have them installed. He'd been prepared to talk them into swapping if need be.
Correction: he'd been prepared to coach Ellie on convincing them to swap. Not that she would need much coaching. The girl was a pro at using her considerable charms -- in tandem with those beautiful green eyes -- to get her way. Sure, Joel might be a bit biased on that count, but that didn't make it any less true, and he was certain plenty of other people would be susceptible to her... Ellieness.
As it turned out, he didn't have to go that route. Not yet. But he wanted motion sensors on all four sides of the house. And he still wanted a brick wall around the whole place. Naturally, Tommy thought that was overkill. Joel had snapped at him, pointing out that Tommy might feel differently if some idiot had nearly killed Grayson instead (Tommy thought he was blowing the incident out of proportion? The rock had missed hitting Ellie by mere inches -- and perhaps the blow wouldn't have killed her, but it very well could have). His brother felt confident that nothing like that would happen again, since it had been addressed in an emergency town meeting the next day. Even if the perpetrator hadn't attended the meeting, they would have heard about the close call later. However, this was of no comfort to Joel; he could only hope they'd felt shamed enough to think twice before doing such an idiotic thing again. Hoping certainly wasn't the same as knowing. He wanted to believe that the thrower only had a beef with him and meant no harm to Ellie. The 'decoration' on the rock would indicate that Joel was the one they wanted to send a message to, or whatever the hell they'd been trying to do (Joel could count on one hand -- half of one hand -- the number of residents known to have the balls to confront him directly).
Anyhow, Joel wasn't trying to pick fights with his brother. They just seemed to occur so easily... natural as a Runner lunging at their prey. And he had to play nice, because the sad fact was, Joel needed Tommy's help to do things like erect a wall around 'his' property -- which wasn't really Joel's at all. Oh, he could probably go behind Tommy's back and get Craig to help him procure everything he needed. But how long would it be before Tommy found out about it? Was it worth sowing more discord between them?
...Well... maybe. Ellie's well-being was always top priority. But Tommy was reasonable... level-headed... conscientious... and kind-hearted. Joel could afford to sacrifice a little pride and appeal to Tommy's better nature. If all else failed, he could sic Ellie and her eyes on him -- and he'd gotten Ellie on board with the wall based on the privacy factor alone. ("Holy shit, Joel -- you mean we could actually open the curtains?!") He had also mentioned that they could snuggle up with a blanket and stargaze in the backyard, if she missed that part of being on the road... they currently didn't have a yard at all, unless you counted the entirety of the surrounding landscape. Tommy had suggested, on multiple occasions, that they simply move to another house. Pointed out that theirs was 'too small' as it was. Joel continued to insist the house was the perfect size for them, and that he preferred sleeping on a couch because beds were too damn soft. He liked being away from the 'big city,' relatively speaking. He just wanted to make it a little safer... for Ellie. He never missed an opportunity to remind his brother of that. She had been safe staying with Tommy and Maria for that little while before they left, but Tommy knew she wouldn't live there without Joel, and Joel was pretty sure Tommy didn't want him there any more than he wanted to live there himself. Bickering aside, they got along fine, for the most part... but there was no need to be in close quarters, in each other's faces constantly. As proven by today's adventures around town...
In the end, Tommy had agreed to help Joel out without too much wheedling on Joel's part. He said he doubted they had enough materials on hand, but if they did, the goods would be up at the sister farm (Farm 4). Which was Outside. Craig was up there with a few of the guys working on the bunkhouse... which perhaps had gone up too quickly; they'd failed to take into account that it wouldn't necessarily just be men going to work up there. The women were currently staying in the farmhouse, which was meant to be used only by the family running the place, as far as living quarters. Tommy said they might not think twice about everyone staying together if it was guys they'd all known for years, but with all these new people coming... yeah, that issue is going to keep coming up. Of course, Joel would never let Ellie sleep in a room full of men, nor share a bathroom with them, regardless of how long he'd known them or how harmless they seemed. Besides that, a woman's presence curtailed all the 'locker room' bullshit that guys liked to engage in; they probably didn't want to share their quarters anyway. And the ones that do? Total perverts.
Of course, Joel had no business calling anyone else a--
No. Stop that. The Ellie voice in his head had put such thoughts to rest long ago... however, they had returned -- and gained strength -- in the past month or so. Ever since the end of their 'extended vacation' -- the abruptness of which could be traced back to another grown man taking advantage of an innocent teenager. The circumstances varied a great deal, obviously... but if we're calling a spade a spade, that's what it boils down to -- and I'm just as guilty of it as the other guy.
After tweaking the lights to his satisfaction, Joel decided he'd check the library. Just to see if she was there. To put his mind at ease. If he saw her, he would leave her be, hopefully without disturbing her at all.
When he entered the library, he could see that the night's 'feature presentations' were about to start, judging by the closed doors with the thrum of noise behind them and light still shining through their glass panels. Should I peek in there? ...No, that ain't necessary... Ellie wouldn't just decide to watch one without letting me know... His mind flashed back to their first night here, about a year ago, when Ellie had watched a movie with a bunch of teenagers and Joel had kept sneaking peeks through the little panels to assure himself she was okay. Like the kids were gonna just gang up and attack her or something. Of course, nothing had happened, and such paranoid feelings had lessened eventually. Or maybe I just got better at dealing with 'em...
A quick glance around told him Ellie wasn't in the main room. Not on a computer, not playing a board game or a card game or anything like that. He walked around enough to check the aisles of books, since she'd helped that Justin guy find a book yesterday... still no Ellie. He checked the magazine room and found it empty. The restrooms were right there, too ...No, asshole, you do NOT need to check those. He had just heard the water running in the men's, nothing from the women's...
And then Clicker burst out the door and practically bowled him over. "Shit! Oops! Ohhh -- hi, Mr. Joel! Is Ellie with you? -Wait -- I mean -- welcome back! Nice to see you. Yes I'm taller and my voice sounds funny. Sometimes, not all the time. ...So is Ellie with you?" He grinned.
Joel blinked. "Uh... no. I thought she might've been gamin' with you, before the movies start." That could explain losing track of time, with no windows to let the setting sun serve as a reminder.
"Back here? That hasn't been voted on yet. I hope they do decide to move at least one TV back here -- two would be better -- cuz even though the room is smaller there's really only so much space you actually need, y'know? And like, how many people really look at the magazines anyways? I guess it's enough that some people think it would be annoying on both sides -- the readers and the gamers -- but then, they could just move everything out, right? Really it won't make a ton of difference unless they decide to keep the library open later -- I think midnight would be good, that would be like five extra hours to play, without having to stop for movies -- maybe just on weekends if they don't wanna do it all the time -- the late hours -- I mean, obviously the littler kids won't be--"
"Son, I ain't got the foggiest idea of what you're talkin' about," Joel cut in, politely withholding the "nor do I care" at the end. If Jackson were ever to hold a rapid-babbling contest, Clicker would surely give Ellie a run for her money. "Just wonderin' where Ellie's at. But... good to see you, too, kid." He does look a little taller... if he's in the middle of a growth spurt he's gonna be taller than Ellie in no time...
"I was gaming... she was here this afternoon and she said she was gonna come back later but she didn't show up. I just had to pee before the movie starts -- I think they're waiting for me, though -- we're watching Jumper, did you see that one when it was new? It's from 2008."
"No idea. Prob'ly not." It didn't ring a bell, but Joel had forgotten a lot of inconsequential shit like that from the old days. "You enjoy yourself."
"Wait!" Clicker stopped him when he turned to leave. "Is Ellie okay? Do you need help looking for her? -Just like old times!"
Joel didn't exactly consider a few months back 'old times,' but he supposed it was for a thirteen-year-old. "No -- don't worry, I'm sure she's fine. Thank you."
"You can watch the movie with us if you want -- there's adults in there, too, it's not just kids--"
"Thank you, but Ellie's prob'ly back at the house wonderin' where I'm at," he replied, wishing he could believe it. He gave the boy a little smile. "Trust me, you're the first person I'd hire to help me find her, if it comes to that."
"Okay! G'night, Mr. Joel!"
Joel watched as Clicker ran -- actually ran -- across the main room toward one of the movie doors, theatrically shouting ahead of his arrival that he was coming. Wonder if his little girlfriend is in there waiting for him...
That was one thing Joel was depriving Ellie of: normal teenage socialization. Yes, she had friends, but she couldn't snuggle up to her boyfriend while watching movies with them. She claimed not to care about shit like that, but Joel wondered if she lied sometimes to make him feel better. What would make me feel better right now is to walk through my brother's door and find her stuffing her face at the table.
Instead, he found his brother on the couch, playing with the baby. Tommy looked up. "Find her? ...No," he answered his own question.
...Now what? Joel could wait for her at home, but she'd be more likely to come here first. He plopped down on the loveseat, which was perpendicular to Tommy's couch, and ran his hand through his hair... as if the gesture would clear away the worry. I'm sure she's fine. She must be down at the farm. Maybe Esther talked her into having that piece of pie she passed up yesterday, and they got to talking, and time just... Except it was still hard to believe that time had gotten so away from her that she hadn't noticed the sun setting.
It's pretty damn dark now. Where the hell is she? Is she mad at me? ...Pretty sure she ain't. She usually lets me know it, one way or another, when she is. She DOES have her gun... not the belt, but at least the one gun. And her knife. She is NOT in trouble. She can take care of herself. ...But then why hasn't she come back yet? Maybe she fell and twisted her ankle and is out there just waiting for me to find her...
That seemed unlikely. He'd already covered the path between this house and theirs, their house and the library... anywhere else, someone would probably see her and help her. Except if she was coming back from the farm? She didn't have her bag with her, which meant she probably didn't have her flashlight. Maybe I should check down there... that had to be where she was. There was no road leading from the farm to their house, so if he were to head down there, it was possible they could pass each other and not even realize it. Ellie had made the trip in the dark more often than Joel, so she wasn't as likely to veer off course... and he would probably be close enough to her path that she would notice his flashlight... But would it be overkill to keep looking for her? ...Yes, asshole -- you're Inside now. She's FINE. Quit worrying. Maybe it's been so long she forgot the way, or got lost somewhere else.
-No, that was ridiculous. Ellie knew her way around town as well as Joel did, if not better. And she certainly knew her way to Tommy and Maria's, from any corner of town.
Maybe she met up with one of her enemies and they got into it? That was a more likely possibility. Even so, would they have gotten so 'into it' that she'd get back so late?
"You need some baby therapy," Tommy declared, and he started scooching towards Joel.
"I'm good." Joel held his hand up and leaned back in his seat. "Or I will be when she gets here. ...I s'pose I should just wait for her at home. Get outta your hair."
Tommy looked at him for a moment. "I can get on the horn an' round up a few people to go look for--"
"No, no... I'm sure she's fine." And he certainly wasn't expecting Ellie to go Outside for any reason, but Tommy had already assured him that Joel's "Ellie is not permitted to leave with anyone but me" rule was still in effect.
"I could at least tell 'em to keep an eye out, if you want?"
"Not yet, all right? I don't wanna jump the gun. She ain't that late. ...Ain't late at all, really, seein' as how we didn't set a time." Which was true, but generally, on the days they ate with Tommy and Maria, Ellie arrived well before dinnertime.
"All right then. You do seem..."
Joel arched an eyebrow at him. "I seem what?"
"...Not all that freaked out. So you must know she's okay, somehow."
His gut did seem to be telling him he was overreacting; it was his brain doing the worrying. If it were the other way around, he wouldn't be content to just sit around waiting for her. "How do you know that?" he wondered out loud.
"I've seen you, big brother. I've seen you when she's in trouble -- or when you think she is... and I've seen you when I thought she was in trouble but you were just... Cool Hand Luke. Kinda like you are right now. It's like you know."
Joel snorted. "What's that got to do with Paul Newman? Have you ever even seen that movie?" He couldn’t remember him ever watching it as a kid.
"Laid-back, then. Not freakin' out. That better?"
"I wouldn't go that far. Maybe I ain't exactly climbin' the walls right now, but I still need to lay eyes on her before I--" Joel paused mid-sentence, his ears perking up at the footsteps rapidly approaching the door. Please let that be her!
A staccato version of the Ellie knock preceded the door's opening, and Joel relaxed at last.
"Sorry!" she cried -- rather hoarsely -- as she hurried over to them. "Sorry sorry -- I didn't mean to be so late -- don't hate me! I'm sorry!" She flung her arms around Joel's neck -- and since he was still seated, she was basically climbing into his lap.
"Calm down. You don't sound too good," he observed with a chuckle.
"That's cuz I'm dying of thirst!" she proclaimed, pulling away from him. "I finished my water ages ago and I've just been talking talking talking-- not used to talking so much anymore -- heyyyyy Grayson! -Hi Tommy," she added, almost like an afterthought. "I need to wash my hands before I touch him, I know. First I need a fucking drink." She coughed, as if to emphasize the point, and scurried over to the kitchen to help herself to the pitcher of ice water (possibly ice-less by now) still on the table. "Where's Maria?" she asked before taking a few big thirsty gulps.
"She's upstairs takin' a bath," Tommy replied. He leaned back with Grayson on his chest, situating the baby on his tummy. "If she waited 'til this one goes down, she'd fall asleep in the tub."
Ellie managed some kind of "oh" sound in acknowledgment between more gulps of water, then finally set her glass down with a satisfied "ahhhh." When she spoke, her voice sounded much more normal. "You guys ate already, right? -Yeah, okay, I see you did -- but you left me a plate -- and you left this on for me? Aww. It smells so good in here... it's the pork loin with rosemary! Isn't it!" She lifted the lid off the crockpot. "Yes! So yummy. I'm glad you didn't wait for me. I would've felt super extra guilty. I hope you didn't wait too long! What time is it anyway? -Shit -- it's later than I thought. Sorry! I'll eat fast if you guys wanna go to bed -- or you can just go, it's not like I don't know how to let myself out --"
"Shoot, it ain't that late," Tommy chuckled. "Maybe for Joel, but we're nowhere near as old as him."
Yes, my brother is just a goddamn RIOT with these age jokes. But he could see it had amused Ellie, so Joel just played his part and shot him a glare.
"You take your time, sweetheart," Tommy continued. "How was it? Your first day back."
"It was pretty awesome, actually!" Ellie chirped. "I saw lots of people! Best of all -- I saw Annie, and we talked. A lot. Just talked and talked and talked. We figured we'd be in trouble for getting home so late but we still had more talking to do, so... sorry, Joel!" She sat down with her full plate and immediately began to dig in.
Joel had taken a seat at the table across from her usual spot just before she seated herself. "So you've said. You weren't even at the farm, then?" Since she had indicated they'd both get in trouble...
"Nope! We went for a walk. A looooooong walk. Well, to be honest, we sat down, too, in a couple places. We weren't walking the whole time. We just walked and talked--"
"Finish chewin' before shovelin' in more," Joel chided her affectionately. "And before you speak, too. Christ -- didn't you eat today?"
"Ages ago," she replied with her mouth full. "Sorry -- I'm just -- I dunno! Happy to see you, I guess. It was weird, not seeing you all day. Wasn't it weird for you?"
Joel actually loved seeing her so... animated. He just didn't want her to choke. "Sure. We'll get used to it."
"You shoulda seen him before you got here," said Tommy, who was now pacing nearby with the baby on his shoulder. "Cryin' about how you ditched him to be with your friends... whinin' about how miserable he is without you..."
"What? Really?" cried Ellie -- and from the abashed look on her face, it seemed she actually believed that horseshit. "Joel--"
"I was doin' no such thing." Joel shot another perfunctory glare in his brother's direction, but he didn't really care how much Tommy teased him, now that Ellie was back.
"Not in so many words, maybe," Tommy smirked.
Ellie still seemed to believe Tommy's bullshit, though. "I thought you were okay going separate ways today! If I had known--"
"I was," he assured her. "I am. I'm fine with it. Always have been. It's good for you to see your friends. Tommy's just bein' a jerk like usual. But... well, as for tomorrow..."
"I'm going to the farm tomorrow," Ellie replied. "Unless... I shouldn't? Shit -- I should probably ask you this stuff. No schedule to stick on the fridge yet..."
"You don't gotta ask me nothin'." I'm trying to NOT be your father, for chrissakes! Although Joel would actually feel better having a schedule to go by. "I was actually gonna ask you... how you felt about me goin' up to Farm 4. Since it's Outside. But just there an' back -- no eight days this time. Or whatever it was." (He remembered; it was eight days. Long Ellie-less days.)
"We're not s'posed to go Outside without the other, remember?" Ellie protested.
Okay, good -- we ARE on the same page on that one. As far as he knew, Ellie didn't even know that the gates had all been instructed not to let her out without him. It hadn't been an issue, once he'd extracted that promise from her not to go sacrifice herself to whatever remained of the Fireflies -- at least not without discussing it further with him, and by the grace of God, she certainly seemed to have made peace with that. "I didn't remember if the sister farm counted or not. As a day trip."
"Of course it counts! Fuck, it's even farther away than the dam!"
She really was hungry... her plate's half gone already. "It's clear. No hunters or Infected."
"Doesn't matter! Nothing is ever guaranteed to stay clear from one day to the next. From one hour to the next, for that matter."
Tommy chuckled. "Damn, Joel, she sounds like you! Again."
That's my girl! "That's right. But still, I think--"
"I'm coming with you!" Ellie declared. "Whatever you have to do up there, I won't get in the way. I want to go up there anyway! So this is perfect!"
"...You do?"
"Yeah! And -- like maybe I could be sort of... what's the word... incog...neato?"
"Uh... okay. Why do you wanna do that?"
"I need to spy on someone!"
"Really?" Tommy was surprised. "Who would that be? It's mostly new folks up there. Not a lot of people you know."
"Oh, there's a bunch of people I know up there. Most of the Nebraska people went, right? I know them, kinda. But... not just them. There's someone else," she said mysteriously.
Joel gave her a look. "What kind of trouble could you possibly have gotten yourself--"
"I'm not in trouble!" she laughed. "Just cuz I wanna spy on someone doesn't mean--"
"It means you're fixin' to get yourself in trouble, if you ain't in it already," Joel amended.
"Good thing Cool Hand Luke will be there to save the day," Tommy quipped.
"Luke? Who's that?" asked Ellie. "Oh, you mean Lucas? Did he go up there, too? I could've sworn he was in the library earlier. Guess not. But how would he ~save the day~?"
"Like I said before, Tommy's just bein' a jerk," Joel explained. He found Ellie's naïveté utterly adorable, and it had a way of tempering his irritation. "He's in fine form today. Must be the sleep deprivation."
"Could very well be, big brother!" He hoisted Grayson up over his head. "Okay, little man, what say you'n'me go get you all cleaned up an' ready for bed before Mama gets out of her bath? ...Hmm, maybe Mama did fall asleep in there..."
"You tryin' to make him drool on your face?" Joel teased.
"I am, yes, that's exactly what I want him to do! If I'm lucky, it'll come out all milky!"
Ellie giggled. "You guys are silly. Aww, lemme say good night... I won't touch him..."
Tommy walked over to her, holding the baby against his chest, facing outward, and with his free hand, he made the little guy's hand bop up and down. "G'night, Auntie Ellie 'n' Uncle Joel!" he said in a ridiculously high-pitched voice, his mouth half-closed in a piss-poor attempt at ventriloquism. The baby made the perfect 'straight man' for such goofiness... but Joel reckoned he'd be smiling and laughing soon enough.
Ellie gave Grayson a huge smile. "Good night, little dude! Sweet dreams!"
Tommy chuckled. "Sounds funny, callin' you Aunt an' Uncle together like that. Like you're married or somethin'. You should really be cousin El--"
"Nooooooo I wanna be his auntie!" Ellie whined. "Not some stupid cousin! You said it was okay!"
"What difference does it make?" Joel asked, amused. "You're gonna be a big part of his life, no matter what name you give yourself."
"I want to be his auntie," Ellie insisted.
"Okay, Auntie Ellie," Tommy replied, using the fake baby voice again.
Ellie gasped. "Omigod -- did you see that? He smiled! He smiled at me! I mean, maybe it was more at the voice, but -- ohhh he's so cute!"
"It's just gas," Joel told her.
"I don't think so," said Tommy, turning the baby around to pinch his cheek. "He's been givin' us some real ones lately... haven't you, G-man? Here, Joel, I think he wants you to hold him..."
Joel snorted. "No he don't. Look at him -- he's about to start cryin'. Give him to me an' he'll start screamin' his head off."
Ellie rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever, Joel -- just hold him already!"
Joel shook his head. "Not a good idea, kiddo -- he looks hungry." Or... more like don't-give-me-to-this-strange-dude, really.
"What do you mean he looks hungry?" asked Ellie. "How the fuck do you know?"
"He is gettin' a little fussy," said Tommy, "and it's about time for him to eat again. You're off the hook, big brother."
"What'd I miss?" Maria called from upstairs... from the railing, presumably, out of sight of the dining table.
"Nothin' much... just a little smile for Joel an' Ellie..." Tommy disappeared around the corner.
"Aww!"
Maria did come poke her head in to say hi to Ellie and chat for a minute (and Joel took the opportunity to refill Ellie's plate for her; she had finished the first helping so fast he didn't even need to ask if she wanted more). Ellie assured Maria that she and Joel would tidy up the kitchen shortly and then let themselves out. But just before Tommy and Maria headed upstairs, Ellie called out to them. "Wait! I forgot to tell you guys something!"
They dutifully came back over to the table, Maria cradling the fussing baby against her shoulder and rubbing his back soothingly. "I hope it's quick 'cause he's about to drown you out," she warned Ellie.
"It is: you guys were wrong about Clicker!"
They both looked puzzled. "Wrong how?" asked Tommy.
"Alyssa is not his girlfriend! He told me himself!"
That surprised all three of them. "He did?" Maria asked dubiously.
"Yep! So the rumor mill strikes again. They're just friends!" She happily dug into her second helping, with nearly the same amount of enthusiasm she'd had for the first.
Tommy and Maria exchanged an amused look. "That's... interesting," said Tommy. "Real interesting. Seein' as how he was callin' her his girlfriend, before."
"And Georgia says she's caught them kissing," Maria added (in reference to Clicker's adoptive mother). "Maybe caught isn't exactly the right word... Alyssa comes over and they hang out in his room, but the rule is he has to keep the door open. At least, that's how things were, last we heard. I guess maybe something happened since then?"
Ellie's jaw had nearly dropped to her plate at the kissing remark (thankfully, she managed to swallow her bite first). "Oh. Um... okay. I... guess I misunderstood. He has to keep the door open? Like..."
"Mom 'n' Dad are okay with her comin' over, but they don't want things to get out of hand," Tommy explained. "And they don't let him go over to her house. Guess they don't trust Jacob to keep an eye on 'em or somethin'."
"They're only thirteen!" Ellie laughed. "It's not like they're gonna have sex!"
Joel chuckled. "The equipment works at thirteen."
Grayson let out an impatient quit-talking-and-feed-me wail. "Go ahead -- sorry!" Ellie waved them off.
Maria headed upstairs, but Tommy hung back a moment to question Ellie. "Did he tell you they were never together?"
"Um... he just said she's not his girlfriend, so... no, not really? Maybe he wasn't lying. Maybe they just recently broke up!"
Tommy nodded. "That must be it. Must've happened... oh, let's see... maybe five minutes after he heard you were back in town?"
"What?!" Ellie turned an amusingly bright shade of red. "No, that's-- no way! Why would he-- that's just--"
"Good night!" Tommy smirked before following Maria up the stairs.
Ellie had the most adorable scandalized look on her face. "Joel, I swear, it's not my fault they broke up! I'd never make him do that!"
This oughta be good... "You'd never make him do that?"
"Of course not!"
"So... you admit you have some power over him, then."
"No! I mean-- I would never be the reason they broke up!"
"How do you know that? You inside his head?"
Ellie looked pained. "Cuz I've never given him any reason to think-- why would he? He knows I don't like him like that!"
"Does he?"
"Yes!"
"You've told him."
"What? Told him that I... don't like him that way?"
"Right."
"Why would I do that? That's mean."
"It's honest. But, since you haven't told him... kid prob'ly thinks he's got a shot."
"Are you fucking kidding me? He's three years younger than me!"
"Two an' a half, remember? He made sure to point that out when--"
"Whatever! Way too young."
Joel just gave her a look. We probably shouldn't be talking about this here... "Keep your voice down. Baby's goin' to sleep."
"Not yet, he's not -- and he can't even hear us up there." But Ellie did lower the volume... and seemed to pick up on the real reason Joel wanted her to keep her voice low. "Three years is a lot, Joel. Because it's three years the wrong way."
"Wrong way?"
"Yeah. Like, if he was three years older, I could understand if maybe--"
"Then you'd give him a shot."
"No, but it would make more sense that he might think I would."
"I see. Well, I'm sure he thinks he's old enough for you. Sometimes... we think someone might be too young for us, see... and the other person disagrees... tries like hell to change the other one's mind..."
"This is different!" Ellie hissed.
"Mmhmm. How so? -Wait, don't answer that, I think we better--"
"It's different when I'm the one who's too old," she answered anyway. ...Which really didn't explain anything. "But... do you think what they said is true?"
"They've got no reason to lie."
"They might be playing a prank or something, though."
"...I think they were bein' straight up about it. Don't you?"
Ellie frowned. "Okay, so... say it's true. That's like... really shitty of Clicker to just..."
Joel shrugged. "They're thirteen. People don't find their... soulmates, an' whatnot... at thirteen."
"Nope, that happens when they're fourteen!" she grinned.
"Ellie," he said warningly.
"Only they don't realize it 'til they're fifteen," she whispered.
"I'm jus' sayin'... he prob'ly likes her all right, but when it comes down to it, she's just a poor substitute for you." Joel could certainly sympathize.
"But... that sucks! It's not fair!"
"No, it sure ain't. But no one ever said life--"
"If she likes him, why can't he just like her back? That way, everyone's happy!"
That's a bit much, even for Ellie. "Yes... in Ellie's perfect world, that's how it would go down."
"It's such an easy fix!"
Joel chuckled. "What if he's thinkin' the same thing? 'Why can't Ellie just like me back? We'd be so PERFECT together...' "
Ellie looked horrified. "But-- but we wouldn't be!"
"Well, he don' know that. We like who we like."
"But-- uuggghhhh," she groaned. "Me and him? It just makes no sense. Can't he fucking see that?"
"...Are you hearin' yourself right now?"
"Uh... yeah?"
"You're sayin' you an' him make no sense. But maybe you do on paper. -In theory," he amended, since he couldn't recall if she was familiar with that expression. "You've got things in common, you--"
"Oh my God, Joel, seriously?!" It was a wonder she was still managing to keep her voice low. "We don't make sense on paper, on dirt, on... anything you wanna try to make sense of it on! He's a little boy!"
"Depends on your point of view," Joel said sensibly. "He's grown up a bit over the winter. Physically, at least. He's taller than you now. His voice--"
"We're the same height!"
"--is gettin' deeper. At thirteen, he's got... a man's urges." (She snickered at that one.) "He's a teenager. So are you. And you're still a little girl, in some--"
"I am not! You don't even think that anymore!"
"Says who? You're still my baby girl. Always will be. No matter how old you get. Back to my point... me an' Sophie. Didn't we pretend to be your parents on the road 'cause it's what made the most sense? But it was a lie. ...I'm sure you can think of another couple that... as far as everyone else is concerned, makes no sense. But it makes sense to them. To the couple." Well, it does SOME of the time...
Ellie looked like she was about to bury her head in her arms, but then realized her plate was still there. She covered her face with her hands instead. "But I don't want... I don't want him to feel like that, about me! It only works if both people like each other!"
"Works best that way, yes. You done?"
She peeked through her fingers at him. "Except for the part where I figure out what I'm supposed to do? I guess so."
"I meant with your plate." A courtesy question, since she had pretty much inhaled both helpings and the plate looked like it had been licked clean by a dog.
"Oh. Yeah, take it. I'm pretty full now." She slumped back in her seat, looking so dejected that for the first time, Joel got the feeling she wasn't secretly enjoying her ego-boosting predicament with Clicker.
"We'll talk about it at home, yeah? You wanna give me a hand?"
They cleaned up the kitchen, said good night to Tommy and Maria in the baby's room, and headed out. When Ellie took his hand, Joel didn't protest. She was a bit too old to be 'holding Daddy's hand,' but the gesture was harmless enough -- there was nothing sexual about it. They had done it before they left town, and maybe it had added some fuel to the rumor fire, but people were going to flap their lips no matter what. As long as they didn't treat Ellie any differently, didn't hurt her in any way... Joel didn't give two shits what they said behind their backs. Not about innocent things like hand-holding, at least.
Ellie behaved on the walk home. They kept a very leisurely pace, restricting their topics to 'dinner conversation,' which they'd essentially missed out on due to Ellie's late arrival. Traded chit chat about their respective days... exchanged gossip they'd heard on the happenings since they'd left. Unsurprisingly, Ellie's arsenal far surpassed Joel's on that front. Not only because she'd spent the majority of her day talking to people, but because the girl was like a sponge when it came to that shit. Joel was more like... well, something between a sponge and a sieve. She had heard some bad things, but didn't want to talk about them yet -- so, per her wishes, they stuck to good or neutral news only. Joel did learn that the person Ellie wanted to spy on at the sister farm was Christine, although she refused to tell him why. He would've thought she'd be happy to know that her old nemesis wasn't living in town anymore and that she wouldn't have to lay eyes on her again for the foreseeable future. She said that she was, but... that there was a but.
Even though he had just finished telling her about the security lights, Ellie let out a cute little yelp when the beam was activated. "Damn... if I hadn't told you about it, I reckon you would've been screamin' bloody murder," he teased.
"Probably! Fuck," she laughed. "I would've thought... who the fuck is in our house shining big-ass flashlights at us?!"
Ellie tried out her new house key, and Joel walked around the house -- 'doing a lap,' as they called it -- before coming inside. It was an old habit he wasn't willing to let go of, lights or no lights. In theory, a person could trigger the lights, come up to the house and stay perfectly still until the lights turned back off, and lie in wait as long as they wanted -- they could slink around the house without even tripping the sensors again, if they were careful to stay against the wall.
Ellie was waiting for him on the couch when he'd completed the lap. "I have a question for you."
"Uh-oh." Joel started shedding his gear. "What kind of question?"
"Okay, so... Tommy and Maria are supposed to be my aunt and uncle, right? But how can they be, when I'm supposed to be the baby's aunt? They said it was okay -- I'm Auntie Ellie."
"You're really more like a cousin. You just don't like--"
"Fuck that! When I turn eighteen and we don't have to hide anymore, then I'd suddenly be his aunt? No. That's dumb."
Interesting. "So you're... preparin' for the future."
"Yes! Exactly! -Would you hurry up already?" she complained. "It only took me two seconds to get couch-ready."
Joel chuckled. "That's because you're smart: you let me be the one to carry all this shit around."
"Yep!" she grinned. "And cuz I went to the bathroom right before we left?"
"...That's part of bein' couch-ready? Figured that was more of a... bed-ready thing."
"It's both!"
He finally sat down beside her, and found himself immediately covered in Ellie. "Hi," he smiled when she kissed him.
"Hi," she smiled back. "I've missed you..."
"Me too." He shifted beneath her a little. "You sure you wanna be sittin' like this?"
"Yes," she purred.
"Thought you wanted to talk."
"I do -- okay, so, you said you were okay with the baby before..."
What? "Uh... I thought you wanted to talk about Clicker."
"Later! So... are you okay? With Grayson?" she pressed.
"Sure."
"...No, really."
He tweaked her cute little nose. "What do you mean by 'okay'? I told you, he'll be more fun when he gets bigger."
"Yeah but like... you seem to have zero interest in him. Your own nephew."
"Well, maybe that will change when he starts doin' more things of interest," he suggested.
"He does lots of interesting things already!"
"He does? Let's see... he eats, he pees, he sleeps. That about covers it."
Ellie sighed. "You're impossible."
"I'm honest," he countered.
"Are you, though? Are you really?"
"...What are you gettin' at? You still think this has somethin' to do with Sarah?"
"Well, does it?"
"No. That was... a lifetime ago. She was part of a different life."
"You're the same person, Joel. You didn't like... die and get reincarnated somehow."
Maybe not, but I was all but reborn when I started caring about YOU... "I'm tellin' you. Babies are just... they ain't my scene. That's all."
Ellie laughed. "Your scene? What's your scene, then?"
He pulled her in close to press his lips to hers, and lingered there a moment. "You. This. This is my scene."
"Oh yeah?" she breathed. "What about this?"
She kissed him again, opening her mouth... coaxing his open with that insistent tongue of hers...
"This too," he agreed. But he stopped her when she reached for his belt. "Not yet, baby girl. If I fall asleep this early, I'll be wakin' up at--"
"Who said anything about sleeping?"
He chuckled. "You know it don't take long for me to fall asleep after."
"I'll just have to keep you up, then, won't I," she grinned. "Literally!"
"Ellie--"
"Okay, okay. Fine. But I'm not moving."
"Fine by me. I like you right where you're at."
They exchanged a few more kisses... and then she started giggling. "How bad would it suck to be Clicker and Alyssa, kissing in his room... his mom and dad like, just casually walking by all the time, making sure they don't start taking clothes off and stuff..."
"It would suck pretty bad," Joel agreed.
"It's dumb, really. Cuz if they really wanted to have sex, they could just go to Ghost Town. That's what everyone else does, if they have parents."
"...Everyone else?"
"Well -- I mean, not like there's that many teenagers here? But everyone knows that's all you have to do."
Yes, kids would always find a way. Still-- "Maybe that's one good thing about movin' people in to some of those houses. When it gets down to just the real shitty ones left... like your burnt house..."
"It's not mine," she laughed.
"No one else wants it -- it's yours. With nowhere else to go, kids'll have to resort to usin' parked cars... or go to the lake or somethin'... just like the old days. Only safer." He'd seen the condition some of those houses were in.
"Um... did you just say something is actually safer now than it used to be?" Ellie marveled.
"I guess I did. Or it would be, if they'd quit foolin' around in dilapidated houses."
It was a little surprising the teen pregnancy rate wasn't higher; then again, as Ellie had said, there weren't all that many teens. Probably less than twenty. More girls than boys, according to Ellie (who could probably recite the exact numbers, excluding the new folks). Still, the town was not completely free of pregnancy-related drama. An acquaintance of Ellie's had become pregnant but suffered a miscarriage... she didn't have a boyfriend, and refused to name the father, so that situation was rife with speculation. Another girl had gone to Idaho for an abortion disguised as something else; Ellie wasn't sure about that one because Annie couldn't confirm it. Sounds like it was POORLY disguised... As far as why someone felt the disguise was needed? -More speculation.
"See what you're saving me from?" Ellie said lightly.
"What's that?" ...Teen pregnancy?
"Duh -- I don't have to go to all that trouble! I can have sex with you in my own bed. With the door open!" She giggled. "Oh man. If we were in like some... parallel universe or something, where you had kept on being my dad, I can just imagine... I bring some guy home, we go in my room and you make me leave the door open, so you just happen to walk by every ten seconds... even though this house is so small that there's nowhere to walk to except that hall closet... ha!"
He inwardly cringed at her wording ('kept on being my dad'? ugh), but played along. "To hell with that -- what makes you think he'd even make it into your bedroom with his balls intact?"
"Aww -- you'd shoot off his balls?"
"Yep. Good thing I ain't your dad."
"You'd have to shoot your own balls off!"
He outwardly cringed at that one. "I should. It'd solve a lot of problems."
She whacked him on the arm. "Shut up! It wouldn't solve anything! So... what if it was a girl? No balls to shoot?"
The question surprised him, though perhaps it shouldn't have; Ellie did ask purely rhetorical questions sometimes that weren't actually thinly-veiled attempts to tell him something. ...At least, I THINK that's what she's doing here? "Then... I wouldn't shoot her balls."
"You'd shoot her pussy?"
"No!" he laughed. "Jesus, Ellie--"
"So you'd just... let her have her way with me? Cuz she's a girl?"
"Basically... yeah. I reckon so. As long as you were into it."
"...Huh. What if I was into it with the guy?"
"Nope. Girls only. Go ahead, call me a sexist pig."
"Ha – okay, whatever – so you'd have to watch us. To make sure I was into it."
"Uh... no. That's where I draw the line. No father wants to see his sweet little girl... like that." Proof positive that I will never be your father, baby girl...
"Okay. So Dad-Joel wouldn't. Would you?"
"What do you mean, would I?"
"The you that's not my dad."
"Well, if I'm me, then..." After all this time together... how close they'd become... Ellie still had the power to make him uncomfortable. She looks serious, too... be cool, Luke... "Are you tryin' to suggest we have a threesome? With another girl?"
Her jaw dropped for the second time that night. "What? No! Where the fuck did that come from?"
"Just voyeurism, then. ...You'd want me to just watch you," he added since she didn't seem to recognize the term.
"Um... no... ? Are you trying to suggest something?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"I promise." He gave her a squeeze. "I don't think I could share you, even if it's just with another girl."
"Oh my God -- you are sooooo sexist!" she laughed.
"That ain't sexist. I said I couldn't share you with anyone."
"That is not what you said! If it was a girl, you'd think about it, but a boy-- a boy gets an immediate 'hell no.' Right?" She paused for him to acknowledge this. "See? Totally sexist! Cheating is cheating! Whether it's with a girl or a guy. It's the same thing!"
"Who said anythin' about cheatin'?"
"We're talking about... me being with someone else. When you're you, not dad-you. So... yeah. Cheating."
"Not if I'm there with you." That's a porno, is what that is...
"Oh, so if you're cheating too, it's all good?"
"Neither of us is cheatin' if we're both in on it. Cheatin' is... sneakin' around behind the other's back."
"So... if I kiss a girl right in front of you, not at all sneaky-like--"
"I'd have to be cool with it first. Is there some girl you wanna kiss? Just give me a heads up first and--"
"No, shut up!" She pretended to throttle him. "You shouldn't be cool with it! And you're the only person I wanna kiss." Punctuated with a little kiss.
"That's real sweet of you."
"It's just so funny you wouldn't be jealous of a girl."
"I might still be a lil' jealous." Joel shrugged. "But... I get it. Girls are pretty. Dudes... ain't. I'm lucky you wanna be with an ugly old-- ow!"
"You're not ugly! Or old!"
"I sure ain't pretty, though."
"You are -- you're beautiful! Gorgeous! Absolutely stunning! -No no nooooo don't tickle meeeeee! Don't-- ahhhhh!"
As usual, the tickle assault devolved into a mock wrestling match on the floor (he really did not want to make her pee her pants -- and having just emptied her bladder twenty minutes ago didn't guarantee that she wouldn't, as he'd learned the hard way). He let her think she was winning from time to time -- or rather, let her pretend to think she was winning -- only to pin her again, or break her hold. She did surprise him a couple of times... but for the most part, her attempts to get the upper hand involved distracting him, which proved futile (though quite fun). She squirmed and wriggled, squealing adorably... until Joel finally called a truce so he could kiss the hell out of her.
"A girl would never be this fun to play with, see?" she panted.
"You still thinkin' about girls after all that?" he teased. "Maybe she'd be even more fun."
"No. Uh-uh. I'd kick her ass. Where's the fun in that?"
Joel chuckled. "Maybe you'd enjoy a more even match -- someone in your weight class."
"Nope! And then-- then if I wanted her to squeeze me as hard as she can, I practically wouldn't even feel it!"
"...If that was a hint, I really can't, like this."
"When we get up, then! Which... we should, soon, cuz I'd rather be on the bed. We can still talk and stuff, though!"
"...Uh-huh."
"We talk all the time in bed!"
"I s'pose we do. Come on... up!" He pulled her up with him, cringing and rubbing his shoulder.
"Oh shit -- did I hurt you?"
"No," he chuckled. "It's fine. Just a sore spot."
"You don't make faces unless it really hurts."
"I'm just... gettin' old, Ellie."
"Then we shouldn't play like that! You don't have to hug me hard if it--" She sucked in her breath when he squeezed her.
He eased up after a moment and kissed her forehead. "Don't worry about me."
She smiled. "Okay. I... really like it when you do that."
"I know you do." He kissed her softly.
"I love you, Joel."
He smiled. "I know that, too."
"And you love me."
"Always."
~Continue to Chapter 31~