CYOA Page 253
He's awake -- fuck! You try to remember what you learned from watching that one sex vid -- the super secret one that every kid in Jackson has seen (er, at least the ones old enough to want to see it?) and the adults are none the wiser. Even Joel!
And he thinks you're so innocent. Ha!
You know you're supposed to bob your head up and down. Which makes sense, because the motion is supposed to mimic sex, right? The back-and-forthness must feel really good. And wetness is good... you know that Joel thinks it's hot when you're wet because it's your body's way of preparing itself for his dick -- and you can't explain to your body that there's actually no need for that because Joel is one stubborn motherfucker.
And... you know how amazing it feels to have his wet tongue between your legs. If you can make Joel feel even half that good...
You must be doing okay, because he hasn't stopped you! You risk a glance up at his face from time to time, and his eyes are closed like he's asleep... but you know he's not still fucking asleep. You want to ask him for pointers... God, he LOVES teaching me how to do things... he could totally get into it here... if he would just--
But he won't 'just' anything. At least... not yet. Not this time. You instinctively know that if you stop what you're doing to ask him a question, or make any comment at all, that's it. It's all over. The magic spell will be broken. Yes... while he's in that haze of half-sleep where nothing's real yet, he can just lay back and enjoy. Which is exactly what you want!
Only... there's no way he's not fully awake now. He has to be faking it a little. Just enough to allow himself to... allow you to pleasure him. That's okay! After this, he'll be all good with it!
You feel like you should be able to fit more of him in your mouth. Like, if someone were to compare you and Joel to that chick and that dude in the video, she would be going farther down than you are. Sure, she's probably sucked a million dicks, and this is your first time, but you don't want to use that as an excuse to suck at it (ha-- I'm so punny!). However, you also don't want to cause yourself to cough or gag or choke or whatever you're gonna do, so when you push yourself a wee bit past your comfort zone, and like... almost have to fight the urge to gag, you decide it's better to play it safe.
The woman in the video didn't really do this, but you know from personal experience that a change of pace can feel nice, too... like, don't just do the same thing over and over. Except perhaps at the end. Which... you have no idea when that will be, so you'll just operate like you're not close to the end yet. Oh -- and my hands! I should probably use them... although you don't know what to do with them, other than move them up and down a little. Your palms are clammy, and you're afraid of hurting him or something, so you decide you should pretty much leave them be and focus on what your mouth is doing. You can vary your pace... you can alternate between sucking and licking, or... well, you don't know that you're exactly licking, with his dick filling your mouth so much that you can't do anything with your tongue but like... waggle it a bit.
You've praised Joel to the skies about how good he is with his lips, his tongue, his fingers... and sometimes he accepts the praise like he is extraordinarily talented in that area, but other times, he's told you that you tell him what you like with your reactions to whatever he's doing, and that's what makes it seem like he's good at it. He's just learned so much about what feels good to you, and what maybe feels nice but doesn't especially 'do it' for you, and what feels fucking amazing. He mixes it all up because you can't just do the ~amazing~ stuff constantly -- unless you either want it to be over with in five seconds or risk overstimulation. The latter has only happened to you once... when you didn't even come, for some reason, yet you felt like you didn't really want him to keep going. Which was fucking weird and made you feel bad, though Joel shrugged it off and said it happens.
So... in a way, Joel has taught you how to do this! You should experiment a little. The trouble is, Joel's pretending to be asleep, so he's probably not going to give you obvious cues. You pull up enough so that only the head is in your mouth, and run your tongue around that like... rim-thing... and he grunts! It's the faintest of sounds, but you know you heard something, and that it's good -- a quick glance upward tells you he's breathing a little harder than he was... and his face looks a little more... slack?
You wonder if he would like it if you kiss and lick around the sides of his dick. How could he not like that, right? But... you're afraid to let him out of your mouth. As if that too might break the magic spell that's been cast over him. That you've cast... I've bewitched him!
You really have. He is like... totally at your mercy. You might even be able to fuck him! Just climb up on top of him... oh man. If only I knew how to do that! You're not going to push your luck anyway, though. First things first... once Joel realizes you're grown up enough to blow him, it may not be long before he concludes that you're grown up enough to have sex!
Joel's dick pretty much tastes like skin, you suppose... until you taste something different. A new liquid in your mouth that is not your own saliva. It's warm and salty... omigod -- I made him come! Funny, I thought there'd be more of it. And I thought... squirting it would make his dick go soft? It's not. At all.
Now he's sort of... wiggling. Not exactly thrusting, but... it seems like he wants you to keep going. Oh! Maybe it doesn't all come out at once! That must be it. No one ever told you about that part. Joel, who is generally happy to field questions of yours in any category, is quite good at dodging specifics about sex. He doesn't want to corrupt his sweet innocent little baby girl, after all. ...who is already CORRUPT, which is why she's asking the fucking questions in the first place, DUH!
You wonder how long it will be before it all works its way out. You're sure you've taken longer than this, and Joel never seems to mind, but your jaw is starting to ache a little. Does that happen to him? ...probably not, given the difference in our anatomy? You may be getting a little lazier in your methods, or doing something worse than before, because Joel has just grasped his dick -- one hand over your hands -- and the other hand flies up to your head, holding it in place! That's when you know everything's going to be fine -- because a person can't even pretend to be asleep while doing what he's doing, and yet he's still doing it.
You don't dare move while his dick-hand pumps rapidly. Your lips are pretty much fastened around the head of his cock, your tongue flat against the underside, and he's gripping your head... not pushing it, just holding it, near the nape of your neck. I can handle this, if he stays like this... but is he going to suddenly jerk way up when it's time... or maybe shove my face down? Will the come go straight down my throat? Please don't let me gag please don't let me gag PLEASE--
You needn't have worried; Joel tugs your head back and pulls his dick out of your mouth, apparently intending to finish the job himself. ...Should I feel insulted? He doesn't remove your hands, but he's not using them, either. They're just... sitting there. You figure you'll just leave them there, until...
"Unnhh," Joel groans (...graduating from grunts) -- and liquid spurts out of his dick like... well, it's sort of like videos you've seen of volcanoes oozing lava. It's not really a stream, like piss. Maybe cuz his hand was like... smothering it?
You withdraw your own hands, wondering if it's rude that you don't really want to get jizz on them. ...Do I say something now? Should I wait for HIM to say something? "Wow," you breathe. It seems like a nice, safe, vague thing to say.
It fails to inspire conversation, though... or even a response. Joel lays back, his hand still covering his dick (for... modesty, at this point? REALLY, Joel? ...or maybe he's waiting for you to get him something to clean up with?!). He raises the other arm up over his head, resting his forearm across his eyes. Which seems like an odd thing for him to do right now. You thought he'd be like "holy shit, I can't believe we did that" in a sort of... aren't-we-naughty way. Like the time he groped your thigh under the dinner table at Tommy and Maria's, and acted perfectly innocent right after. You gasped in surprise, and everyone asked what was wrong with you -- including Joel! Not a hint of a smirk on his face. (the smirking and teasing and oh-how-naughty-we-are stuff came after you got home)
But now... isn't like that. At all.
"Um... should I get the towel?" you venture. "Er... except we only brought that one, and we might not want to get it all... I dunno." ...Is it rude to say "gross"?
He doesn't answer... but he reaches for the sheet and tugs that over his groin. Oh yeah... why not... they're not OUR sheets and blankets, so who cares? You suddenly remember that you're practically naked, and the sun is rising, ready to highlight your nakedness for Joel to see. Maybe that's why he's covering his eyes like that? But... he just came, so it's not like it's going to excite him. He's always made it sound like it would take him a while to get aroused again...
Wait... why am I being all weird about this now, wondering what I should do? It's JOEL -- I can just go cuddle with him. Like he does with me, after. He's probably waiting for you to do exactly that. Then he'll relax.
But when you lay beside him and press your body to his side, he bolts up to a sitting position, like he can't get away from you fast enough. He's doing something... probably arranging himself in his boxers. You reach out and run your hand down his back. "Joel... come back here..."
Instead, he stands up. Finds his jeans and starts putting them on.
You're confused... and, you have to admit, a little hurt. You just sucked his dick, and now he's going to treat you like... like what? I dunno... someone he can't even be bothered to say two words to? Some skank he doesn't give a shit about? You watch him get dressed. Watch him continue to not talk to you. "Say something," you finally plead.
It takes another few moments for him to comply with your request. "Put your clothes on. We gotta get goin'," he says.
After all that, the first thing he says to me is 'put your clothes on'? "Joel... why are you being so weird?" You scramble to your feet when you see he's about to go outside. "Wait!" You grab his arm, trying to stop him in his tracks.
He yanks away from you -- with more force than necessary, in your opinion. "Don't. Touch. Me," he growls... and he is seething. He won't even turn to look at you.
"What? ...What's wrong? Please--" You try to move in front of him, to make him look at you, but he's already striding toward the door. He unlocks it, walks through it, and then he fucking slams it. Slams it! That's... not very Joel-like. It's more your style, when you're angry...
...Why is he so angry???
You could follow him, but you feel like he'd only tell you to go inside and get dressed.
He refuses to talk to you (even once you're dressed). The whole time while you're there at the ranger station... washing up a little, then packing up, not even eating breakfast... he gives you the silent treatment. Stung, you stop asking him why he's so mad... you stop trying to get him to talk to you.
You rack your brain, and for the life of you, you don't understand why he's acting like this. This is so not how you imagined things. Fuck -- he didn't even look happy right after he... was it that bad? Even if it was, why wouldn't he hug me and tell me he loves me, and like... THANK me for making the fucking effort?! He can't be upset that you started sucking him off while he slept, because he let you. He could've stopped you. -Well, no, he couldn't really... not if those boys were right and it's impossible to resist... you know you'd never stop Joel from doing it to you, once he starts. It feels too fucking good!
It had to feel good for him, too, because he came. You can understand him perhaps feeling some (misplaced) (completely ridiculous) guilt over letting you do it, even though you were the one in control and he didn't even ask you to. But he's clearly pissed at you. Guilt alone shouldn't make him be such a dick to you.
By the time you leave camp, you're quite pissed at him, too. Two can play this game! You give him the silent treatment that he's giving you. And it's completely unsatisfying, since he's not even trying to talk to you. At all. He only says three words to you the rest of the morning: "let's break here."
Normally, you would be pestering him to talk to you over lunch. He should notice that you're decidedly not, this time. But if he notices, he doesn't give a fuck. He's probably glad; you're saving him the effort of blowing you off. I blow him... and he blows me OFF. What the FUCK.
Strange as it may seem, you find yourself hoping to run into some infected. Or hunters. Something. Whenever things are strained between the two of you and you're Outside, one battle is all it takes to cut through all the bullshit.
Of course, when you actually want to run into the fuckers...
You're close to the hospital now. You've reached the city, you just have to work your way through it and find the building. Joel doesn't even bother to give you the usual reminder to be extra alert in the city, to watch for people in the windows and when going around corners, shit like that.
His silence is going to drive you insane. You've already endured hours of this! You can't stand it. You CANNOT STAND IT. Not one more fucking minute-- You do the only thing you can do, the only recourse available right now: you take off.
Continue to page 256.