the further i slide.

the hills are alive...

littleredlight — Sat, 09 Apr 2005 11:51:46 GMT

so everyone better see me as maria in my school's production of the sound of music. groppo and i are making major breakthroughs together- it's amazing.

umm yea. what's new.

kareem and i are an item, again. it's good. but we're on a "break" right now so i can be fro concentate on school, SATs and the musical. it only means we talk less and have passionate and sweet reunions on the weekends.

us history is stressing me out. i don't knwo what i'm doing.
and ms. heath is havign a jolly time loading it up on us lately. pooface.

anyway, easter was the most amazing time of my life. Selma, AL was so much fun- going to church and building some. italy was awesome and a great experience- regardless of the dramaqueen takeover.

I'M SO HAPPY SPRING IS HERE!!!

peace out.

i'd just like to say...

littleredlight — Wed, 16 Feb 2005 21:13:07 GMT

I AM PROUD to go to school that teaches the gay liberation movement for four days, as a part of the curriculum.

even if there is a conflict of intrests.

I am ashamed that we do not respect one another more. I don't care If someone thinks that killing people for the hell of it is okay- we have to suck it up and watch your back. we live in a world of intolerence and the only way to overcome it is pray, fight without being disrespectful too and educate.

so we got the praying (well i do) and the educating (in our school) but we need more of the respect. no one will want to listen to what you think if you don't respect that they have thier own opinions.

oh believe me- i may not agree with some views, even some liberal ones, and i may get reaaal heated and want to rip heads off, but I do think it is imperrative that we listen to one another and give the respect that we want in return.

enough of that.

school is for learning- not getting upset about political opinions.

that is all.

i love you all!

ps- let's pray for our kids.
lord,
let our children live in a better,
more peaceful
and more accepting world than we do today.
amen.

sleep deprivision.

littleredlight — Wed, 16 Feb 2005 20:29:39 GMT

so we won our hockey game today 4-1. the one goal pingree scored was a lucky shot. they had it near our goal and had like four people on poor anna and she couldn't defend the goal all by herself and so she like sat on the puck like a good goalie but they just kept attempting to scrabble that pucker in.

anyway. we won. so ha.

those little children were so friggen aggressive. this girl like took me out. i only fell once the whole game!
number four, eleven and fourteen are my sworn enemies.

anyway. nice team bondage on the second to lat game. impeccable timing.

im sleepy but lazy and im playing this really encouraging state game for my US quiz tomorrow. i best get an A or i fail at being an american.

my housing assignment is interesting....

anywho,
im out.
peace.

hehehe.

littleredlight — Sat, 12 Feb 2005 13:01:52 GMT

i'm so good, i'm bad.

oh man.

littleredlight — Tue, 08 Feb 2005 06:20:58 GMT

so im like hanging out with kareem again. actually, it's really been good.

i've been hanging out with a lot of people that i lost touch with. it's really really good.

I HAVE A CARRRR!!!!

it makes my life complete.

should be doing homework....
i hate x-block.
pete- come save me.

my mother is crazy, paranoid. she won't let me stay at home with my brother because she will worry about me but it's better for my school work so i convinced her to let me stay at home and not go to the lame ass dorms until wenesday. okay i love the people in the dorms but the whole thing about rules and bedtimes is just tres, tres lame.

alas, my love, farewell.

elise.

friday, saturday...

littleredlight — Sat, 22 Jan 2005 23:11:12 GMT

friday:
good day. cold. night at bean's. wicked fun. chilled with newish kids. fun,fun. cabaret video=embarassment.

saturday:
SAT prep. cleaned my room!!! spent time with dad and family. went to trident with them. home. headache. cramps.

sunday:
will be good!!!
i get my car, oficially.
i drive to NY avec mon frere.
and on monday...
NYU VISIT!
yay!!

sleep time,
elise.

i need man.

littleredlight — Tue, 18 Jan 2005 19:09:03 GMT

PRONTO.

WANTED:
MAN (ish)
age: 16-19
height: over 5'7"
cute scale: 6/7
niceness scale: 8/9
prerequisites:
must be somewhat musical (either good music taste or musical talent)
must be intelligent but can't be obsessed with himself
medium to high self esteem (no cocky motherfuckers, please)
must drive and have a car
MUST NOT BE OBSESSED WITH PENIS/SEX

okay, so i'm picky, but who isn't?
I'm never going to find a guy with the last prerequisites filled.
I NEED A MAN.

love,
girl going through man withdrawal

bad and good

littleredlight — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 19:59:55 GMT

sad and happy.

more happy.

i love songs that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
i danced around the kitchen to maroon 5 with my mom while we made dinner.
it's been a good weekend.

:)

countdown to car: 5 days and 13 hours.

out with the old...in with the new!

littleredlight — Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:05:21 GMT

i'm really sad that kareem and i are completely finished and now i have to think about some other girl calling him her boyfriend and how she'll share special things with him. but i just hope that some things he will keep sacred because he'll never find anyone who loves him like i do and he shouldn't waste things on girls who don't love him. i sound like a bitch.

but anyway.

i like him way more than i thought i did.
i can't tell him.
it's nice to have something to loose.

thanks jesus. things will be okay.

especially since i just bought the maroon 5 cd.

for the record...

littleredlight — Mon, 10 Jan 2005 17:51:39 GMT

i have the best friends.
i may only have like five.
but they are so awesome.
that is all...

oh i love r. kelly

littleredlight — Mon, 10 Jan 2005 15:53:04 GMT

The winds, the rain
The storm
The weapons that are formed against us
The trying times
The sleepless nights
Just know that faith is with us
Through all of the hills
And valleys roamed
That we must come to
Walk side by side
Follow the light
And we'll make it through
He'll give you peace
In the midst of your storm

i think this is jsut a way to procrastinate.

littleredlight — Mon, 10 Jan 2005 14:58:26 GMT

Paste the first sentence from the first entry of each month of 2004. January: oh man. February: i finished my admissions essay. March: i had such a good time with kareem on saturday just being with him. April: basically i hate this school. May: I'm so low lately. June: this summer so far has blown. July: hey, who is going to watch the needham fireworks? August: hey guys i'm staying in this hostel in the south of france with antya and we basically go to the beach every day and sometimes go to class, it's alot of fun but the shopping sucks and it's really expensive so no one should expect any presents when i get home. (wow, thats long) Spetember: i quit field hockey because i got put on a bad team and the administraters were complete bitches to me. October: My computer just deleted my entire entry. November: so im chillin it up in the dorms for the next week. December: end of an era. wow this past year went by really quickly.

littleredlight — Sun, 09 Jan 2005 18:02:13 GMT

my acne cream made me break out.
am i destined to be pimply?
sucksss.

american identities paper is draining me.
my mom's loser friend with terrible problems with being timid but self absorbed came over and distracted me because provoking him is way too much fun. pete- you so know who i'm talking about.(it's liam)

school.

DON'T READ IT.

littleredlight — Sat, 08 Jan 2005 23:33:46 GMT

A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

littleredlight — Sat, 08 Jan 2005 22:41:49 GMT

so since you've been gone
i can now breathe for the first time

so i've figured out that the person i loved has changed and i just really hope that they don't feel like they are abandoning their true identity because this person is so against looking at themself that maybe they don't even know. oh lord, what a way to live- not knowing yourself. good lord, i'm praying for him. i'm not resentful at all. i'm just really hoping that he is happier and that if he is not he will do it for himself to figure out how he can be happy. god, he's so different now.

have i changed too? i think so. before i would not have looked at myself the way i do now. i do not think about anyone else but myself before i make a decision. no, im not being self-centered and thank you to the people (if anyone ever actualy reads this) that know that i am just taking care of myself.

i'm applying to tanglewood for the summer. i'm almost afraid to tell people that just in case i don't get in. but if i don't get in it's not the end of the world- i will just make money and travel. it will be similar to last summer except i won't be tied down with love and the hatred of my father but i will have a car and freedom and who knows, maybe i'll go visit the son-of-a-bitch in wisconsin or wyoming or wherever the hell he is moving. i think it's wyoming. and maybe i'll bring someone along. and maybe i'll go to france, spain and germany (as i origionally planned) and have a blast learning new languages.
or if i get in, i will have the time of my life strengthing my talent. and it looks good for college. and maybe i'll fall in love with some talented composer, as mr. coleman said. that man is like a second father to me. a very teacher, annoyed by my persistant pestering second father. he is a father figure- there.

anyway, now that i've creeped you all out, i'm going to bed.

xoxo, elise

ps- its amazing the feeling of clarity one experiecnces after a few tears. there should be a name for it.

i decided this is a productive way to spend my time.

littleredlight — Fri, 07 Jan 2005 13:00:43 GMT

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Eat as many cookies as possible.

Get your resolution here

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Stop being a productive member of society.

Get your resolution here

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Make as many people hate me as I possibly can.

Get your resolution here

giant pile of suck.

littleredlight — Fri, 07 Jan 2005 12:52:39 GMT

i feel really alone today. and it doesn't feel good.

sometimes i like being alone- this, however, is not one of those circumstances.

boys suck.

i miss love.

i want to cry.

happy new year.

littleredlight — Wed, 05 Jan 2005 13:30:38 GMT

im home, hooray.
i endured a long week with my controlling, insecure father, my anal retentive, obsessive compulsive step-mother and their spoiled poodle, sophie.
but on the bright side i had a blast with my friend there. and it wasn't so bad as long as my family and i kept interactations to a minimum. like movies and eating were just about enough. they didn't like any of my music. actualy, i got my father to admit to liking r. kelly's new cd and when i wanted to change it he wouldn't let me. but then as soon as his wife got in the car and complained he (of course!) agreed with her and made me shut it off. i was almost temped to put jay-z in just to see her have a heart attack.
so it was like john mayer for the whole week. o joy.

tommy and i had so much fun. we got lost, had snowball fights, spin outs in parking lots, spin outs on the road and crashing into rocks (not so good), getting drunk and hooking up with another girl (oh wait- that was just him) and just doing nothing. god, he is so awesome.

went shopping in wellesley with kristina.
upon further consideration i decided that i want cookie monster slippers, too. your such a trend setter kristina.

kareem is a tool. the end.

xoxo,
elise.

ps- new years resolution: stop biting nails. so far, a sucess but my longest nail broke. :(

littleredlight — Sat, 25 Dec 2004 17:53:27 GMT

merry christmas.

it's amazing how little jesus talk there was today. jesus and i are tight so i expected myself to have some kind of personal connection with this day but truth be told, i was so in it for the presents. and geed presents they were. got a cashmere sweater which i am really thrilled about. its burgundy which ellen so nicely said goes well with my eyes/hair. that was like the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a while. not that people have been mean it's just, you know, a very genuinely nice thing to say. anyway, i also got vice's fashion do's and dont's from my brother--makes for great bathroom material. if you've never seen it, i'll expose you to it. it's fucking hilarious.
i did my phone calls too. if you didn't get one that means i either thought you were jewish or i don't have your number so fuck off. just kidding. i don't even feel like christmas is a christian holiday anyway.

i'm gonna go swim in a sea of presents and wrapping paper left in my living room. i feel like i'm four again.
yessss.

mwah!
elise.

...

littleredlight — Wed, 22 Dec 2004 19:25:36 GMT

SANTA IS COMING TOMORROW NIGHT!!!

i just spent 7 hours in the mall.

my uterus kills.

littleredlight — Tue, 21 Dec 2004 20:22:26 GMT

fun times today avec faith and evan.

i miss man.

till later,
the cutest one.

ps- CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!!
that means, SANTA IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmm

littleredlight — Mon, 20 Dec 2004 17:55:56 GMT

odd day.

definately a series of unfortunate events was good for a children's movie. well, it had its moments at least. and jude law's voice sent me into convulsions. ok im done.

but today has been a series of awkward events. im so keen.

i need to not be dumb right now.

mwah.

this is fact not fiction/ for the first time in years.

littleredlight — Sat, 18 Dec 2004 22:24:09 GMT

yea, im so in love with him. it's tough to do something you know you need to do for yourself but are scared to death how it will feel. loss sucks. i feel like a part of my life has died. but my heart is in heaven now and im just waiting for someone else to take it and take me on a ride.
he was such a good ride. it was bumpy at the end and i needed to get off.
he was like when your on one of those rides that's not too fast.
the weather is perfect and the wind is blowing your hair all around
and you've got your hands in the air and your letting go of all your cares.
you feel so free.

i really felt like i could be myself around him.

but now im moving on with my life and im reconnecting with all these wonderful people and meeting new friends and i realize that i don't need him to feel free. i'm on the ride alone and im lovin it.
once and a while i get a stroke of loneliness that hits me like a ton of bricks right in the chest but if i just keep surrounding myself with people who care i think i'll survive.

thanks to those who have really been awesome these past few weeks.
bean, pete, muma, thomas and cdaly.
love you.

burnin every bridge i cross
to find some beautiful place to get lost.

there's no need to argue, parents just don't understand.

littleredlight — Wed, 15 Dec 2004 14:40:49 GMT

arrrrrrrrrrg my mother knows just how to get under my skin sometimes!

i need to get out of the house.
pronto.

colorado in 12 days...
who ever thought i would get so excited to go visit my dad.

yep

littleredlight — Wed, 08 Dec 2004 14:22:08 GMT

So, i fractured my tailbone when i was ice skating with my mommy on sunday. I've been in bed ever since. I've been soaking up some blues clues and many movies. It has been a party, let me tell you.

They gave me tylenol with codine for the pain and the codine made me so ill that I puked up everything I ate on sunday and has left me still with a very sensitive tummy and an ass that has yet to shit.

So you may ask, "Elise, what are you taking for the pain?"
Well my dear friend, the answer is: not a lot.

I have my motrin for the pain and the tylenol for the swelling (or vice versa, i'm no doctor) and I have an ice pack and a pillow for my poor little tush.

Let's pray for no rain becuase yesturday the rain made me feel like a 90-year-old woman with arthritis in her back.

My french teacher doesn't trust us enough to let me take home the movie we are watching to catch up and I have three essays and two quizes that I have yet to get started on. I came home today from only 4 hours at school and immediatly crashed on my bed, sleeping for over 2 more.

These have been my days.

Feel free to pity me.

Love the cute one!
mwah.