[

mood

|

cheerful

]

so everyone better see me as maria in my school's production of the sound of music. groppo and i are making major breakthroughs together- it's amazing.

umm yea. what's new.

kareem and i are an item, again. it's good. but we're on a "break" right now so i can be fro concentate on school, SATs and the musical. it only means we talk less and have passionate and sweet reunions on the weekends.

us history is stressing me out. i don't knwo what i'm doing.
and ms. heath is havign a jolly time loading it up on us lately. pooface.

anyway, easter was the most amazing time of my life. Selma, AL was so much fun- going to church and building some. italy was awesome and a great experience- regardless of the dramaqueen takeover.

I'M SO HAPPY SPRING IS HERE!!!

peace out.

[

mood

|

contemplative

]

I AM PROUD to go to school that teaches the gay liberation movement for four days, as a part of the curriculum.

even if there is a conflict of intrests.

I am ashamed that we do not respect one another more. I don't care If someone thinks that killing people for the hell of it is okay- we have to suck it up and watch your back. we live in a world of intolerence and the only way to overcome it is pray, fight without being disrespectful too and educate.

so we got the praying (well i do) and the educating (in our school) but we need more of the respect. no one will want to listen to what you think if you don't respect that they have thier own opinions.

oh believe me- i may not agree with some views, even some liberal ones, and i may get reaaal heated and want to rip heads off, but I do think it is imperrative that we listen to one another and give the respect that we want in return.

enough of that.

school is for learning- not getting upset about political opinions.

that is all.

i love you all!

ps- let's pray for our kids.
lord,
let our children live in a better,
more peaceful
and more accepting world than we do today.
amen.

[

mood

|

lethargic.

]

so we won our hockey game today 4-1. the one goal pingree scored was a lucky shot. they had it near our goal and had like four people on poor anna and she couldn't defend the goal all by herself and so she like sat on the puck like a good goalie but they just kept attempting to scrabble that pucker in.

anyway. we won. so ha.

those little children were so friggen aggressive. this girl like took me out. i only fell once the whole game!
number four, eleven and fourteen are my sworn enemies.

anyway. nice team bondage on the second to lat game. impeccable timing.

im sleepy but lazy and im playing this really encouraging state game for my US quiz tomorrow. i best get an A or i fail at being an american.

my housing assignment is interesting....

anywho,
im out.
peace.

[

mood

|

sly

]

i'm so good, i'm bad.

[

mood

|

bored

]

so im like hanging out with kareem again. actually, it's really been good.

i've been hanging out with a lot of people that i lost touch with. it's really really good.

I HAVE A CARRRR!!!!

it makes my life complete.

should be doing homework....
i hate x-block.
pete- come save me.

my mother is crazy, paranoid. she won't let me stay at home with my brother because she will worry about me but it's better for my school work so i convinced her to let me stay at home and not go to the lame ass dorms until wenesday. okay i love the people in the dorms but the whole thing about rules and bedtimes is just tres, tres lame.

alas, my love, farewell.

elise.

[

mood

|

hungry

]

PRONTO.

WANTED:
MAN (ish)
age: 16-19
height: over 5'7"
cute scale: 6/7
niceness scale: 8/9
prerequisites:
must be somewhat musical (either good music taste or musical talent)
must be intelligent but can't be obsessed with himself
medium to high self esteem (no cocky motherfuckers, please)
must drive and have a car
MUST NOT BE OBSESSED WITH PENIS/SEX

okay, so i'm picky, but who isn't?
I'm never going to find a guy with the last prerequisites filled.
I NEED A MAN.

love,
girl going through man withdrawal

[

mood

|

optimistic

]

sad and happy.

more happy.

i love songs that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
i danced around the kitchen to maroon 5 with my mom while we made dinner.
it's been a good weekend.

:)

countdown to car: 5 days and 13 hours.

[

mood

|

calm

]

i'm really sad that kareem and i are completely finished and now i have to think about some other girl calling him her boyfriend and how she'll share special things with him. but i just hope that some things he will keep sacred because he'll never find anyone who loves him like i do and he shouldn't waste things on girls who don't love him. i sound like a bitch.

but anyway.

i like him way more than i thought i did.
i can't tell him.
it's nice to have something to loose.


thanks jesus. things will be okay.

especially since i just bought the maroon 5 cd.

[

mood

|

faithful

]

The winds, the rain
The storm
The weapons that are formed against us
The trying times
The sleepless nights
Just know that faith is with us
Through all of the hills
And valleys roamed
That we must come to
Walk side by side
Follow the light
And we'll make it through
He'll give you peace
In the midst of your storm

[

mood

|

chipper

]

Paste the first sentence from the first entry of each month of 2004. January: oh man. February: i finished my admissions essay. March: i had such a good time with kareem on saturday just being with him. April: basically i hate this school. May: I'm so low lately. June: this summer so far has blown. July: hey, who is going to watch the needham fireworks? August: hey guys i'm staying in this hostel in the south of france with antya and we basically go to the beach every day and sometimes go to class, it's alot of fun but the shopping sucks and it's really expensive so no one should expect any presents when i get home. (wow, thats long) Spetember: i quit field hockey because i got put on a bad team and the administraters were complete bitches to me. October: My computer just deleted my entire entry. November: so im chillin it up in the dorms for the next week. December: end of an era. wow this past year went by really quickly.

[

mood

|

annoyed

]

my acne cream made me break out.
am i destined to be pimply?
sucksss.

american identities paper is draining me.
my mom's loser friend with terrible problems with being timid but self absorbed came over and distracted me because provoking him is way too much fun. pete- you so know who i'm talking about.(it's liam)

school.

[

mood

|

calm

]

so since you've been gone
i can now breathe for the first time


so i've figured out that the person i loved has changed and i just really hope that they don't feel like they are abandoning their true identity because this person is so against looking at themself that maybe they don't even know. oh lord, what a way to live- not knowing yourself. good lord, i'm praying for him. i'm not resentful at all. i'm just really hoping that he is happier and that if he is not he will do it for himself to figure out how he can be happy. god, he's so different now.

have i changed too? i think so. before i would not have looked at myself the way i do now. i do not think about anyone else but myself before i make a decision. no, im not being self-centered and thank you to the people (if anyone ever actualy reads this) that know that i am just taking care of myself.

i'm applying to tanglewood for the summer. i'm almost afraid to tell people that just in case i don't get in. but if i don't get in it's not the end of the world- i will just make money and travel. it will be similar to last summer except i won't be tied down with love and the hatred of my father but i will have a car and freedom and who knows, maybe i'll go visit the son-of-a-bitch in wisconsin or wyoming or wherever the hell he is moving. i think it's wyoming. and maybe i'll bring someone along. and maybe i'll go to france, spain and germany (as i origionally planned) and have a blast learning new languages.
or if i get in, i will have the time of my life strengthing my talent. and it looks good for college. and maybe i'll fall in love with some talented composer, as mr. coleman said. that man is like a second father to me. a very teacher, annoyed by my persistant pestering second father. he is a father figure- there.

anyway, now that i've creeped you all out, i'm going to bed.

xoxo, elise

ps- its amazing the feeling of clarity one experiecnces after a few tears. there should be a name for it.

[

mood

|

cold

]

i feel really alone today. and it doesn't feel good.

sometimes i like being alone- this, however, is not one of those circumstances.

boys suck.

i miss love.

i want to cry.

[

mood

|

christmassy.

]

merry christmas.

it's amazing how little jesus talk there was today. jesus and i are tight so i expected myself to have some kind of personal connection with this day but truth be told, i was so in it for the presents. and geed presents they were. got a cashmere sweater which i am really thrilled about. its burgundy which ellen so nicely said goes well with my eyes/hair. that was like the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a while. not that people have been mean it's just, you know, a very genuinely nice thing to say. anyway, i also got vice's fashion do's and dont's from my brother--makes for great bathroom material. if you've never seen it, i'll expose you to it. it's fucking hilarious.
i did my phone calls too. if you didn't get one that means i either thought you were jewish or i don't have your number so fuck off. just kidding. i don't even feel like christmas is a christian holiday anyway.

i'm gonna go swim in a sea of presents and wrapping paper left in my living room. i feel like i'm four again.
yessss.

mwah!
elise.

[

mood

|

cheerful

]

SANTA IS COMING TOMORROW NIGHT!!!

i just spent 7 hours in the mall.