These words are my own.

Writing - Definite hiatus.

2015-03-17T20:08:33Z

Hello, friends.

It is with sad regret that I am going on definitive hiatus, which is probably what you already suspected with my lack absence over the last 7+ years. I thought it was finally time to say it, properly. Over the years, I have changed, not completely, my love of m/m hasn't changed but I have grew up. Change is not necessarily a bad thing but it’s saddening when you no longer find that enjoyment and passion in the things you once loved. ; I am in my 30s afterall. I was just a teenager when I started this account, it holds a lot memories. It's sad to see my stories be kept hidden so I've made my journal public.

I will still be active on Livejournal itself, though it may be months, even years, to accept requests. This parting is quite bittersweet.

My view on things I never gave a second thought to have changed. I do not find enjoyment in writing anymore, more specifically, fanfiction. I’ve tried for years to find that passion for writing again, but the more I force it, the harder it is to sit and write, it doesn’t help that my interests have changed so I have nothing to tickle my imagination. I still love the same bands, the same TV shows but my opinions and views on topics are no longer the same.

I find fanfiction even more difficult to read and write.I find myself taking into consideration the thoughts and feelings of those people I am choosing to make a story out of and I do not wish to participate anymore. Which I find odd since I do love shipping of characters and actors, though I do it in a way of celebrating their friendships/bond.

Fanfiction (and even shipping) is mostly harmless, it’s a way for writers/fans to express themselves about people they admire and love, it’s also a great way to experiment with writing styles and what works for you, with a subject, which in the case of fanfiction is often TV characters or band members, which interests you, and that’s brilliant. I’m all for writers or people wanting to try their hand at writing, improving in a way that helps them because as a reader there’s nothing I love more than a well written book with a structured plot. But there is always a darkside to both worlds.

For those wondering, about the final part of A speed date of colliding hearts, sadly I believe it will be left unfinished. Instead, why don't you finish the story for me? We all have our stories and endings. Imagine how the story will end and that's what the ending will be.

I hope someday I will write again.

It’s a little piece of me this journal, I’m proud of the stories I’ve written, and grateful for the friends I’ve made. Thank you, to everyone who has friended me, those who commented, those who have read my stories, and thank you to the lurkers who read my stories in the darkness of the night. Thank you, to all those who helped BETA my stories, and those who notified me when they spotted my mistakes or helped me with an idea. Last but not least, thank you to the communities who gave me a place to be myself.

A first among many - First time. [3/3]

2012-08-26T14:39:15Z

Series: A first among many.
Title: First time. [3/3]
Author: littlepluto
Pairing: Matt/Brian.
Rating: R.
POV: 3rd.
Summary: He leaned over Brian and pressed two fingers to his lips and ordered to suck.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Simple.
Author Notes: A first time doesn't have to be done in a bed to be special to the people involved. This is the last one in the series. Thank you to those read them. ** Public for 7 days.
Beta: Thank you to sebaddict_rehab and winginblood
Warnings: The usual; sexual acts and swearing.

Blowjob
Rimjob

Matt sat at the bar, drink in hand, and stared at the dance floor, his gaze firmly fixed on his boyfriend. He took a sip of the whiskey from his tumbler, wincing as the burn hit the back of his throat, and then placed the now empty glass back on the bar.

Unable to carry on watching his boyfriend shamelessly place his hands all over another man, he thanked the bartender, climbed off his stool, and headed straight for Brian.

Brian stopped laughing when he noticed the empty bar stool. He wanted to make Matt jealous but he couldn't do that if he wasn't watching.

A week ago, they'd been out drinking, he had nipped to the bathroom only to return and find his boyfriend smiling and talking with some other man. It had upset him when Matt brushed him off and told him to stop being jealous, that he was only talking with the guy, not fucking him. That was when Brian got the idea to play Matt at his own game.

With a sigh he started to turn back to apologize to his dance partner and excuse himself, just to be dragged back against the man’s chest. Out of panic, he reared his elbow back only to be stopped by a kiss behind his ear.

"It's only me."

Brian grinned and turned into Matt's hold, wrapping his arms around his waist. When another set off hands found their way to his ass, he stiffened and waited for Matt's reaction. When a few moments passed and Matt still hadn't said anything, he frowned and gave Matt a look of confusion.

Matt's only reaction was to smirk and lean down to whisper into his ear, "I thought you liked another man’s hands all over you?"

Brian glared at him and hissed in reply, "you know I was only trying to make you jealous."

Matt pulled his head back and laughed. Moving himself backwards as he did so, he took Brian with him and out of the other man's reach. However he wasn't finished and motioned the guy closer again so that he could whisper something into his ear.

"You can watch me fuck him but I'm warning you to keep your hands to yourself."

He watched the man smirk as his words registered and then nod his head in the direction of the bathroom. Matt took the hint, grabbed Brian's hand and led him towards the bathroom.

Brian hadn’t heard what Matt had whispered to the man but he understood the gesture and tightened his grip on Matt's hand as he was pulled into the large end stall of the bathroom, followed by the guy who locked the door behind them.

"What the fuck is going on?" He snapped when Matt began to unbutton and unzip his jeans.

Matt grinned and captured Brian's lips in a harsh kiss, whilst mumbling against his lips, "he's going to watch me fuck you, Brian."

"Oh, fuck," he groaned, turned on just from the thought of it.

However, he wasn't so impressed that his first time was going to be in a dirty bathroom stall.

Brian’s tattooed fingers gripped tight onto Matt's t-shirt as he began an assault of bites and kisses on the sensitive spots of his neck. He gasped the moment Matt's rough hand curled around his hardening cock, the other fondling his balls, causing his breath to hitch again and his hips to buck.

Matt kissed his way along Brian's taut neck to get to the spot just below his ear, "you going to give him a show? He's already hard watching you."

Brian glanced towards the door where the guy was stood, the top button of his trousers undone and his hand shoved inside, and he let out a soft moan when the man's gaze locked with his. Brian shut his eyes and moved backwards, pulling Matt with him until he was pressed against the off white walls.

Removing his hand from Brian's balls, Matt pressed it against the wall by Brian's head to support himself. Looking into Brian’s eyes he smirked, happy with the flushed look Brian was sporting, he pecked his lips before falling to his knees, grunting softly when he hit solid concrete.

He grabbed the waist band of Brian's jeans and boxers and, in one motion, pulled them down below his knees and out of the way.

Brian's hands found their way into Matt's hair, tightening when Matt's lips locked around the head of his cock, creating a tight seal. He licked his dry lips and blew out a breath which morphed into a groan as Matt took more of him into his mouth.

"Fuck."

Matt chuckled around Brian's cock causing him to bite his bottom lip and fight back another moan. He curled his fingers tighter around the rest of Brian's cock as he took as much as he could into his mouth, twisting his hand from side to side, creating a rhythm. He felt Brian's grip tighten in his hair, the pain intensifying the pleasure. He tugged and pulled at Brian's balls before making his way slowly to the tight, puckered hole.

When his jaw started to ache, he pulled off and used his hand to jerk Brian off while he regained the feeling in his jaw. He pulled his free hand back and sucked a finger into his mouth, getting it nice and wet, not wanting to cause Brian any added pain.

A whimper left Brian's lips when the slick finger slid along the crease of his ass and forced itself into his hole.

"Fuck, Matt, stop. I'm gonna cum, I'm close," he rambled, "I don't want to cum yet, not 'til you're inside me."

Matt kissed Brian’s thigh and stood up.

"Turn around, Bri. Hands on the wall," he commanded with a stinging slap to Brian’s thigh.

He was rewarded with a hiss but Brian turned around without question, he worked open his own belt buckle and jeans shoving them down his legs with a few tries.

He leaned over Brian and pressed two fingers to his lips and ordered to suck.

Once Matt’s fingers were nice and wet, Brian let them go with a pop. He spread his legs as far as he could, opening himself up.

Two fingers soon followed one, by which time Brian was panting and pushing back onto Matt's fingers, desperate for something more.

When Matt didn't get the hint Brian got vocal, "enough! Need you. Now."

It wasn't until he removed his fingers that Matt remembered he hadn’t brought a condom or a packet of lube. With a curse he gripped Brian's hip and rested his head on his back before breaking the news.

“Shit! No lube, no condom. Fuck!"

Brian growled, "are you fucking serious? Really? Well, you best fucking blow me then."

Before Matt could reply he felt a slap to his arm. He turned to growl at the man only to be stopped when he saw what he held in his hand. Matt smirked and took the offered items.

"Thanks."

Brian looked over his shoulder with a frown then grinned when he saw what Matt now held. Once Matt was ready and lined up he pushed his ass into Matt. At the first pressure of Matt’s entry he squeezed his eyes shut nervously and reached back, wanting to hold some part of Matt. Curling his fingers around the one of the wrists that held his hips, he grit his teeth and breathed through the burning sensation.

A foreign groan mixed with their own but Matt paid no attention as Brian hissed and tightened his grip on Matt's wrist.

"Fuck, stop a minute."

"You okay?" Matt asked with concern.

At first Brian's jerky nod was his only response. After a few seconds he started to push back, telling Matt he was okay to move. A full blown moan left his lips when his ass touched skin. Matt was all the way in.

"Okay, Matt, fuck me."

With pleasure, Matt slowly pulled out and pushed back in as Brian took hold of his own cock and started to jerk off in time with his thrusts.

Brian turned his head to the side and blew out a breath, looking at the man he had been dancing with. The man turned his gaze from Matt to Brian and his eyes locked with Brian’s. He licked his lips as he quickened the pace the hand that was moving over his cock.

Matt shot a glance to the stranger whose gaze seemed focused on Brian's. With a sudden pang of jealously, he snapped his hips forward, pushing Brian closer to the wall. He was rewarded with a curse and a shout of his name.

"That's it, say my name. I want you to fucking scream it," he snarled and kept up the punishing pace.

He reached up and held onto Brian's shoulder for leverage as he pounded into Brian, grunting. A drop of sweat travelled the length of his nose and hung off the tip. With a jerk of his head the bead of sweat dropped and landed in the dip of Brian's back. On impulse he lifted Brian's t-shirt higher and pressed a kiss to the middle of his back, his lips becoming wet with Brian's sweat.

"I'm close, Matt," Brian panted, stroking himself with jerky movements.

Matt nodded even though Brian couldn't see him, his own movements just as uncoordinated.

Brian clenched his fist and pumped himself until he felt his balls tighten. He let out a strangled cry and came, ropes of cum coating the wall and his hand.

Matt followed soon after with a forceful thrust, the tightening of Brian's hole sending him over the edge, he collapsed on top of Brian. After a moment, he held the base of his cock as he slowly pulled out, peeling off the condom and throwing it in the toilet bowl.

"That was hot. You sure know how to take it."

Matt came back to the present and turned his head towards the voice. The man stood with his trousers around his ankles, his cum coating the floor and his hand. Matt stood up straighter and reached for the roll of paper beside Brian and pulled out a few sheets before ripping it off and throwing it at the guy.

"Clean up, shows over," he told him as he handed a few more squares to Brian.

Brian chuckled at Matt's abrupt attitude and cleaned himself up as best he could until he could use the sink to wash his hands. He pushed Matt back so he could stand up and stretch his back, groaning as he did so, feeling it pop. He pulled up his trousers and turned round, pecking Matt's lips as he buttoned himself and Matt up.

The man unlocked the door and opened it and headed to the sinks.

"That was fun; we should do it again sometime."

"Unlikely, but it was fun while it lasted," Matt snorted as he followed him out.

Brian slapped Matt's shoulder with a smirk then washed his hands, drying them on the paper towels before curling his arm around Matt's waist. "It was fun. We'll see you around maybe."

The man nodded and left.

Matt turned and pushed Brian against the counter and pressed a kiss to his lips, "I won't share you again. You're mine."

"And you're mine too. Don't forget it," Brian retorted, leaning forward for another kiss. "Come on, I wanna dance before you take me home and fuck me again. Maybe this time we can use a bed."

Matt laughed as he took Brian's hand and dragged him off towards the dance floor.

A first among many - Rimjob. [2/3]

2012-08-07T19:48:22Z

Series: A first among many.
Title: Rimjob. [2/3]
Author: littlepluto.
Pairing: Matt/Brian.
Rating: R.
POV: Matt's.
Summary: I could see he was hard, the laptop on his legs did nothing to hide the hard on beneath his thin boxers.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Simple.
Author Notes: Finally found the inspiration thanks to Cayden Ross and Travis James. ** Public for 7 days.
Beta: Thank you so much to sebaddict_rehab. Life saver.
Warnings: The usual; sexual acts and swearing.

Blowjob

Standing at the edge of the bed, I stared at the sight before me. Never before had I wanted somebody as much as I wanted him, he was beautiful. Brian lay on the bed, head cushioned by my pillow, naked.

Earlier that night we had settled into watching TV, me with the remote, Brian with his laptop. Half way through a film, he turned to me and asked me to look at something; it was a porn scene from Randy Blue, Travis James being rimmed by Cayden Ross.

I stared at him, wordlessly. I kind of got the hint but I didn't want to jump to conclusions, I wanted Brian to start asking for what he wanted, I didn't want him to embarrassed or nervous about it. Nothing sexual between two people should be shameful or embarrassing.

Brian gnawed at his lip, looking between the screen and me. I could see he was hard, the laptop on his legs did nothing to hide the hard on beneath his thin boxers.

He focused on the screen when the guy with the Phoenix tattoo arched his back, I heard Brian's breath quicken and placed my hand on his bare leg, his eyes turned back to me.

I continued to hold his gaze until he finally relented, "I want you to rim me. Eat me."

I removed the rest of my clothes slowly before kicking them out of the way, so I wouldn't trip and make a fool of myself. He smiled at me with flushed cheeks and swollen lips, I grinned back proudly knowing I was the cause.

I walked over to the stereo player and switched it on, I had been listening to Ed Sheeran while I dressed that morning. I decided he was an artist as good as any other and pressed play.

I knelt on the bed and crawled my way up until I was settled between his spread thighs, our bare skin touching.

"Relax, alright. Seriously, if you say stop, we stop," I told him hoping to reassure him. I could tell he was nervous, he always did this thing with his bottom lip. I noticed it the first time he blew me.

I kissed my way up his treasure trail pausing to dip my tongue into his belly button. I felt Brian squirm and wriggle beneath me, the motion caused his hard on to press into mine making us both to groan loudly.

Impatiently, I pressed kiss after kiss to his chest until I finally reached my destination - his neck. I'd discovered a few weeks ago, Brian had a few weak spots on his neck that caused him to make these whimpers, which I loved to exploit. After sucking my mark possessively onto his neck, I continued my journey to his lips.

He received me eagerly, wrapping his tattooed arms around my neck. I smiled into the kiss before tilting to the side and deepening it. Our tongues battled teasingly but he knew I was the one dominating him and soon gave in when my teeth bit his bottom lip in warning.

"Matt, please," he whispered after the kiss broke, moving his hands to my chest and playing with my nipples, tweaking them between his fingers.

I sat up, resting my ass on his thighs and let his hands wonder and explore my chest; I enjoyed the feeling of his callous fingers on my skin. I sneaked my hands behind him and caressed the sensitive skin between his thighs, close to his groin, pleased when I was rewarded with a hiss and a spasm of his hips.

With a stretch I reached over to the bedside table and picked up the damp cloth I had prepared early, I climbed off Brian pressing a kiss to his lips.

Brian nodded and complied without protest, he lifted his arms and gripped the pillow. I could see him tensing and un-tensing his fingers but the last thing I wanted was him wound up. I knew one way to relax him. With a cheeky grin I leant over and took him as far as I could into my mouth, his moans and whimpers letting me know it was working.

I used my hand to compensate for what my mouth couldn't. My lips tightened around his hard shaft and I began to suck, creating a tight vacuum. From the sounds he was making, I knew I had found another one of his Achilles heels.

When his fingers found their way into my hair, I knew he was relaxed enough for me to try moving to the next step. I slowly drew my lips off his cock and kissed the tip, I licked away the precum before turning into Brian's hand and placing a chaste kiss on his palm.

"Turn over, Bri. Back down, ass up and don't forget to breathe, okay." I ordered gently, stroking his skin as he did as he was told. Many times I’d caught him holding his breath as I blew him, it worried me so I always reminded him.

As Brian took up the position, I picked up the abandoned cloth and folded it up into a small square more to hide my excitement than tidy up. I pressed a kiss to each of his ass cheeks, which received a sigh just audible over the music.

(I should point out I did douche him in the shower but I wanted to do this, I wanted to create something private and intimate between us as he was very embarrassed about the whole thing.)

The cloth was warm but Brian still flinched when I pressed it to crease of his ass, I replaced the cloth with another kiss and repeated the process until the whole of his ass was washed clean again.

With the use of my fingers I parted his crack and pressed the cloth over his pink hole, spending idle seconds watching it clench and unclench. I spent a few minutes doing this before I felt Brian push into the movements and demand that I stop playing. I just happened to look down and find him stroking his cock - it turned me on.

Discarding the cloth on the floor, I roughly lifted his ass up higher and without warning, pushed my tongue flat against his hole.

"Fuck, Matt," He gasped and pushed back.

I held his hips still while licking lazy circles around his hole trying to find a certain motion that really got him off. After trying different licks and nips, I found he moaned and whimpered more when I pushed my tongue into his hole.

I nuzzled my head into his thigh to hide my smile before placing a kiss there; I looked up to find his face flushed, staring back at me. I groaned at the look in his eyes.

"So hot, want me to eat you, rim you?" I asked against his thigh, his reply was another groan as his head went back, his fingers gripped tight to the bed sheet.

I pushed my face against the skin, wetting my lips and then using my tongue to lick around his hole occasionally pushing it inside just to hear him groan and watch his knees shake to stay apart.

I shifted from my knees to my stomach and used my hands to lift his ass up by his thighs. I spat against his hole and licked it up, twisting my tongue and forcing it inside, my lips creating a seal as I began to suck and spit, making him wet.

Brian's groans and curses were turning me on, I couldn't help but hump the mattress, I wanted to jerk off but to do so I would’ve had to let go of his ass and I couldn't when he was so close to letting go. Instead I shamelessly humped the mattress like how I imagined I would fuck Brian when the time came, the thought made my balls tighten.

I used my fingers to grope and massage Brian's ass, pulling his cheeks further apart so I could have more access.

"Close, Matt," I heard him say reaching down to tug on my hair. I reluctantly let go of Brian's ass so I could spit in my palm and coat Brian's length before I went back to licking and sucking Brian's now red hole.

I curled my spit covered hand around Brian's red, angry cock and began a quick, jerky rhythm. I slowed as I neared the head so I could run my thumb over the tip of Brian's sensitive head which was oozing precum.

After muffled curses and a hand tightening in my hair, I felt more than saw Brian cum over my hand, in the spur of the moment I used it to coat my own cock and use it as lube. I kissed along his thighs before biting the skin tightening the grip on my cock as I came.

"Fuck," I breathed and kissed the bite mark.

I lifted up onto my elbow and released my other hand, using it to stroke behind Brian's knee.
"You okay?" I asked and wiped my cum covered hand on the sheet. I knew I was washing the sheets later anyway.

Brian chuckled and smiled, "Fuck yeah, that was... fuck, amazing," he replied, sitting up so he could pull me up.

We lay chest to chest for a while enjoying the moment. Impulsively I lent in and pressed a kiss to his lips. Soon, we were passed out on the bed, sedated.

A first among many - Blowjob. [1/3]

2012-05-10T23:13:20Z

Series: A first among many.
Title: Blowjob. [1/3]
Author: littlepluto.
Pairing: Matt/Brian.
Rating: R.
POV: Brian's.
Summary: Leaning close to my ear he told me to hump him like a dog.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Simple.
Author Notes: Started out as a standalone but with encouragement it will be a short series. ** Public for 7 days.
Beta: Thank you, winginblood.
Warnings: The usual; sexual acts and swearing.

I can’t remember what day of the week it was or the exact date; we don’t really celebrate our anniversary date, just the month - September.

We were watching baseball on the TV and had started our second bottle of 40s. We weren’t drunk but, by the end of the night, we wanted to be.

I can’t remember who started it and I don’t really give a shit who did. All I remember is feeling Matt’s lips pressed hesitantly against mine, although it wasn’t really a kiss more of a brush of lips. I pulled back to stare at him, so confused at what had just happened, but I didn’t have time to think about it because once more we were joined by the lips.

I remember curling my hand around his neck, forcing him to stay. I don’t know what had changed but I didn’t want to stop. It was messy and inexperienced on my part; I hadn’t kissed a man before. He kissed me like he’d been doing this his whole life and his fingers lifted up my t-shirt so he could stroke and tease my stomach. It was hot.

I wanted more so I pushed myself against him and fuck, when he ground his knee into my crotch I was so hard and desperate. I forgot that this was my first time with a man and told him to touch me.

He laughed against my lips and hastily unbuckled my belt and unfastened my trousers. I would have helped but I was too busy grinding against his leg and sucking his neck. He finally pushed me and shoved me back so I was the one laid out on the sofa, then he pulled off my jeans and climbed above me.

I was scared and excited but I didn’t tell him, just grinned sheepishly and told him once more to touch me and, by God, he did.

He removed my t-shirt, quickly throwing it over the back of the sofa, then kissed my chest before he bit and toyed with my nipples. My nipples had always been sensitive and he must have soon figured that out because by the time he was done kissing and torturing them, I was panting and practically humping against him.

Matt made his way down my stomach kissing as he went. I held his shoulders, trying to push him further down to my cock that was demanding attention. Instead the fucker started to tease me by licking and kissing my thighs, sucking marks on my hips and scraping his teeth close to the base of my cock.

I was about to tell him to hurry the fuck up when his tongue finally touched my cock. I couldn’t help the curse words that left my mouth, my fingers tightening on his shoulders as he licked the head and teased it with his tongue. I thought I was a goner.

He took the head of my cock into his mouth and suckled on it like a dummy. Holy shit, it felt good! I have no idea what he did with his tongue but it had me calling out for more. He kissed down my shaft, his hair tickling my sensitive thighs and then nuzzled against the base, using his teeth to pull at my hairs and cause me a slight bit of pain which morphed into pleasure as his fingers played with my balls.

He licked his way back up after countless minutes playing with the base and my balls and took my cock back into his mouth, curling his fingers around my shaft as he began to bob his head. It was quite possibly the best blowjob I had been given at that time.

Matt pulled off after turning me into a sweaty mess and kissed his way back up to my lips, the kiss was different to his actions; it was slow and sloppy. He kissed my cheek and the spot below my ear and whispered to me. “My turn.”

I tensed and he must have sensed this because he ran his fingers up and down my sides while rolling his hips against my bare skin. I thought, fuck it. I hadn’t let a man blow me only to chicken out when he wanted it to be returned. With a shaky sigh I nodded and pulled me with him as we went back to our original position.

I’m not ashamed to say that I stalled. Hey, I was fucking nervous and I was about to suck a man’s cock. I pulled off his t-shirt first and decided that the best way to do this without looking like an idiot would be to copy him, so I mimicked his actions. What I never realized then was that I would come to love teasing him.

I’ve always had a thing for his neck. It wasn’t thin, thick or fat. It was perfect. I used to watch him drink sometimes and imagine sucking on his Adam’s apple. It made me giddy like a school kid when I finally caught on that I could.

I kissed his jaw and then along to his ears. I paused, not wanting to do something he didn’t like, but when he grabbed my hips tightly and bared more of his neck, I continued. I nipped at his Adam’s apple, feeling like a king when he moaned. I sucked on it, feeling it bob against my mouth as he swallowed. Damn, that was hot.

I sucked marks onto his neck, not giving a shit if they could be seen by anyone. I kissed his muscled shoulders and buried my head against his tattooed chest. I stared at his nipples, unsure if I would like it or not. He raised his head and said if I didn’t want to do anymore then we could stop. Like fuck, I wanted it to stop.

Going for it, I put my mouth over one nipple and ran my tongue over the bud. It didn’t really have a taste but I enjoyed feeling the little bumps around it. I saw this porno once where the guy bit the nipple and I wanted to see if Matt would let me, so carefully I scraped my teeth over it. When he hissed, but didn’t tell me to stop, I clamped my teeth around it and nipped him.

He cried out and arched his back, I bet he looked gorgeous like that. I was repeating what I did on the other nipple when he got impatient and basically told me to stop fucking stalling and suck him. I have seen him angry and frustrated before but this time I found it incredibly hot and laughed against his stomach, kissing his deathbat tattoo before sitting back on my heels.

Matt opened his eyes and found me staring at him, my fingers idly playing with his raised knees. He smiled and squeezed me with his knees before spreading them wider, letting one foot drop to the floor and so leaving him fully exposed.

I stared at his cock. It was thick and cut. I wrapped my fingers around him and stroked him lazily, just wanting to feel some other man’s cock in my hand. My forefinger and thumb barely touched and I seriously doubted that I could take that in my mouth.

He didn’t say anything just watched me while I looked at him. I smiled and thought ‘fuck it’, then leaned down and tasted the pre-cum coming from the slit of his cock. It was bitter and I tried not grimace. He must have seen it because he promised not to cum in my mouth. I nodded and went back to licking and sucking the tip, like he had done to me.

I remember somebody telling me once that if you were ever unsure on what to do; you should do what one liked to have done to oneself.

Feeling more confident I sucked, licked and kissed the head of his cock while I continued to stroke that couldn’t fit in my mouth. Using my other hand to keep him still, not ready to let him fuck my mouth. I squeezed my hand at the base and twisted as I went up. He hissed and told me to spit in my hand. I apologized and spat in my hand, kind of disgusting but I worked with what I had.

I went back to what I was doing, keeping up the same rhythm of my hand and mouth before deciding to take it up a notch. I took more of him into my mouth, using my hand as a safety barrier. I accidentally used my teeth a few times before finally getting the hang of it and using the tip of my tongue to tease him as blew him.

I pulled off with a grin and was rewarded with his flushed face smiling at me, he told me he was close so I sped up my hand movements and kissed his thighs and balls like he had done to me. I sucked a ball into my mouth and moved it around using my tongue to lick the skin, more out of curiosity than anything else, then did the same to the other making them nice and wet.

He leaned up on his elbows when I came back up and we met for a harsh kiss, then he let himself fall back and brought me with him, maneuvering a leg between mine, and shifted us onto our sides. He spat in his hand and reached between us to take both our cocks into his hand.

I wanted more kisses, demanded them, and he gave in until I broke the kiss and nuzzled my head into his neck. Leaning close to my ear he told me to hump him like a dog.

Fuck, if that was the hottest thing I’d heard. I curled my arm around his waist and cupped his ass as I humped back into his leg and into his hand. I was so close and got closer with every fucking dirty word he whispered into my ear.

My neck hurt from the way it was bent and squashed between his neck and the back of the sofa. I was hot and sweaty and so fucking turned on. I humped him faster when he responded to my finger dipping into the crack of his ass. He came as I pushed the tip of my finger into his ass.

He used his cum to lube up our cocks and while he continued to stroke himself down and me into orgasm, slamming his thigh upwards against my rhythm and demanding that I come. Not a minute later, I came.

He laughed breathlessly into my neck as he complained about cleaning the couch. Typical Matt. He pulled back and I lifted my neck, stretching the stiff muscles before meeting him for a lazy kiss.

We cleaned up and went back to watching the baseball with a new bottle in our hands - stark naked.

Lullaby [2nd version]

2012-03-23T12:55:11Z

Title: Lullaby [2nd version]
Author:littlepluto
Pairing: Pierre/David.
Rating: Fluff.
POV: 3rd.
Summary: Pierre can't sleep.
Disclaimer: Product of my imagination.
Author Notes: As requested. Original pairing can be found, here. **Public for 7 days only.
Beta: My friend, Cody.
Warnings: None, that I can think of.

Pierre can't sleep. Dark brown eyes stare out the window into the darkened blue sky, listening to the birds twitter into the early morning breeze. Pierre can't sleep, and he's frustrated that he doesn’t know why. He looks towards the clock 1.03am. He closes his eyes hoping sleep will come to rescue him, it doesn't.

With a small sigh Pierre turns over, facing his peacefully sleeping boyfriend, only to turn back over because he's uncomfortable and irritable. He sees a glowing red light, 1.45am.

David groggily wakes up to shuffling beside him. Noticing Pierre's uneven breathing, he slides his arm over the waist of firm skin letting his fingers rub soothing circles over the hips and dips of the older man.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He whispers softly into Pierre's ruffled bed ridden hair.

"Nothing, just thinking s'all,” Pierre mumbles.

David glances towards the Disney clock that Seb bought them for Christmas, "at 2.15 in the morning?" David kisses Pierre's temple, feeling the pulse of running blood.

"Hmm,"

"Pierre, talk to me,"

"I can't sleep and annoyed s'hell," Pierre tiredly huffs.

Even though David is the smaller of the two, he brings Pierre's back to his chest so that there's no space between them, fitting perfectly together.

"Anything I can do to help baby?"

Pierre doesn't respond and David hopes he's fallen asle

"Davey?" Pierre's awake.

"Yea Pie?"

"Sing me to sleep,"

"Okay, close your eyes,"

Pierre turns over pressing himself against David, his head resting in the crook of his neck, arms tight around his protector and lover.

"I love you,"

"Love you too Davey,"

David begins to sing.

Pierre's eyes slip shut, letting the soothing voice and vibrations from his boyfriend's chest lull him to sleep.

Feeling heavy, even breathes against his neck, David continues to finish the song, placing one last kiss upon Pierre's hair. Closing his eyes, David falls into a heavy and soundly slumber, with his boyfriend of 3 years tuck tight against his warmed body.

2.23am, Pierre's asleep. Finally.

A speed date of colliding hearts [1/?] [Hiatus]

2012-02-15T22:24:03Z

Title: A speed date of colliding hearts [1/?] [Hiatus]
Author:littlepluto & aella_freya
Pairing: Zack Baker/Frank Iero.
Rating: Overall R.
POV: 3rd.
Summary: A meeting of two beating hearts during a Valentine's speed date special.
Disclaimer: Product of our imagination and love of beautiful tattooed men.
Author Notes: An ongoing RolePlay turned into a story as a late Valentine's gift for you. **Public for 7 days only.
Beta:littlepluto - Proof read about 4 times.
Warnings: Swearing, boring & desperate men. Later, sex.

Zack sat at the bar sipping on his Jack and coke waiting for everything to be organised, he didn't know why he was here but a friend had shoved the newspaper under his nose and told him to just go, so he did.

He turned around on his stool and watched as staff placed tables around the floor area putting two chairs on either side for the lonely, desperate singletons who, in 15 minutes time, would occupy them and unfortunately yes, he was one of those singletons.

Frank had spent the last month and a half working on this one night, it was Valentines night. A whole day dedicated to happy little couples so that they could be all sweet on each other and give each other presents while being romantic. That however was not for Frank, unlucky in love, that’s what he was, what he thought he would always be. Tonight was going to be his one last try.

He had his friends step in for the night to run the singles meet and greet, and the short speed date session at their local bar. It always helped knowing the owners so they got it at a good price. He checked in the mirror once more to make sure his blonde and black hair was sitting right, and his little red eyeshadow was on even. He hurried out the house late but he had spent so long organising it, he was allowed to be a little late today.

Zack looked up when a member of bar staff picked up the microphone and announced to everyone that they should take a seat on one of the chairs available. He politely introduced himself as Jack to the group before going through of what was to happen.

Jack walked around the tables and gave everyone a tag on which they were to write their names on, he finally went onto say that if you were successful, which Zack doubted he would be, they had to exchange a card that entitled them to share a drink at the bar when the session ended.

After taking a seat closest to the raised platform and waited for someone to sit down across from him, he began to fiddle with his fingers and look around the room trying to spot anyone he might get along with and despite how nervous he was, he hoped that he had some luck because he sure did need it.

Frank was last in, giggling a little at Jack as he watched him skip around the tables coming to a stop in from of Frank.

"Dude I’m so, so sorry. It took longer than I thought to do my hair, but better late than never," he smiled winking at Jack as he filled the name tag out.

He nodded slowly looking about, really pleased with how the place had turned out and how many people had turned up. Frank got a drink and went to sit down, the person across from him was short, shorter than he was, and not what he would call attractive, but he just hoped this man was nice.

"Hi, I’m Frank, it’s nice to meet you... Dean," he smiled reading the tag on the others top which soon turned into an awkward conversation when the bell rang signalling the start of their two minutes.

Zack’s ear caught the sound of the bell and smiled at the guy across from him, the guy was gorgeous but to be brutally honest, they had nothing in common and all the man seemed to talk about was himself, Zack couldn’t get a word in edge ways. He let his eyes wonder discreetly among the tables while still nodding and interacting as much as he could with the man – Liam, the name on the tag said.

5 more guys later, who either presumed he was the submissive in a relationship or thought he wasn’t their type, which Zack translated to; I’m not skinny or firm enough for them, he found himself ready to give up, grit his teeth through the last guy and go home with a take away. Well, that was until the the most beautiful man Zack had ever seen sat down across from him. He read the name tag quickly; Frank.

Frank smiled had died between the first and the second guy, they were all wrong in some way, talking too much, or just giving one word answers. Most of them thought he was too short for them; well that’s what he came to believe when they gave him a face after revealing his age. When he got to the last guy, he was on his third drink feeling deflated but offered a soft smile when he sat down in front the man, Zack.

He held his hand out once more, "Hi, I’m Frankie, it’s nice to meet you," he said softly as he bit his lip.

This guy was hot, not too tall and not smaller than Frank, weight wise. He didn’t mean Zack was a fat person but that he had a little weight on his stomach. He ran his eyes over the man’s face.

“Hello, I’m Zack. Nice to meet you too,” Zack replied easily and with a genuine smile.

"So, I’m a vegetarian and apparently most people seem to hate here, however I do smoke and drink. What about you, Zack?" He smiled settling back into the chair.

“I drink and dabble with a cigarette occasionally mostly when I’m stressed or worried over something. Unfortunately I love my meat too much to turn to the leafy side but maybe with a little persuasion, you might see me eat a Vegetarian meal but not that tofu shit,” He answered with a grin, enjoying Frank’s company.

Frank smiled and scrunched up his face, "I hate tofu, it’s just vile," he smiled before shaking his head. "I can cook meat, I mean it’s not like I’m against people eating it, I just don’t want to eat it really," he smiled before looking at the other.

"I love the lip rings, I’m really into piercings and tattoos, and I have a few myself. I even had my nipples done, I didn’t want to at the time but it was a dare and I couldn’t back out of it. Once I got them, I absolutely loved them," he smiled.

"What’s the most stupid thing you’ve done with friends?" he asked smiling.

Zack hummed as he thought about it, “I think it would have to be the time the guys and I took a trip to the islands and got a boat. We went skinny dipping and not only were we caught by the coast guards but my ass got stung by a poisonous jellyfish, my ass swelled to the size of a balloon,” He laughed reliving it.

Frank couldn't stop the giggle that escaped his lips, shaking his head slowly, "oh god, that must have hurt, I mean your ass is better now right?" He asked, before he realised how bad that sounded making him blush.

"Sorry I mean, is it healed but I guess seeing as you seem to be sitting fine," he smiled as he sipped on his drink, "can I ask what age are you and what you do? I know boring questions but hey, why not go all clique," he smiled.

Zack agreed, “it’s fine, thank you for your concern,” he chuckled, “I’m 30. Not 31 until December and I own a music store inherited from my father, what about you?” He replied and returned the question with another smile.

He glanced at the ticking clock and realised they hadn’t really long left to talk before the session ended and they went their separate ways, he pulled out the free drink card he was given with his name on and slid it across the table to Frank hoping, he would accept it.

Frank smiled and picked up the card, "I'm 27 and I'm actually a party organiser.”

“Thanks. If I give you mine, does that mean we get two drinks?" He asked with a rather large smile and gave Zack his card across the table too, along with the card was another with his name and number, "my card." He added.

Zack chuckled, “I should hope so, all this dating has made me thirsty. And thanks, maybe I could hire you sometime for a private party,” He winked mischievously.

Frank smiled just as the bell went off, "it’s been amazing meeting you really, I haven't laughed with a date like this ever, and most are far to judging." He frowned.

Zack tucked the card with Frank’s details into his front pocket and stood up offering Frank his hand, “I need to use the bathroom then make a phone call, would you like to meet me at the bar for that free drink? That’s if you haven’t any place to be,” He asked tilting his head a little to the side and chewing on one of his lip rings.

Frank bit back a moan at that sight, "I have today completely free, and tomorrow too, the joys of being your own boss," he explained, smiling as he walked up to the bar.

“That’s good to know, I won’t be long. Find us a couple of seats, somewhere less noisy,” Zack told him softly before heading in the direction of the toilet.

As he walked and used the urinal, he couldn’t believe his luck. He had actually found someone who he could not only talk to but relax around and laugh with, Frank was a great man and Zack was really looking forward to getting to know him. He washed his hands, dried them and headed outside to call Johnny and thank him.

Jack rushed over to him, "So, boss man, any good ones? Come on," he smiled wanting to know if his boss was finally going to be happy.

Frank nodded, "yeah, and I'm about to have another and hopefully more drinks with him, he seems really nice, he didn't hate or seem annoyed that I didn't eat meat," he smiled.
“I’m happy for you, Frank,” He smiled and pulled him in for a hug, “look I got to put this place back to the way it was so it’s ready for the crowds later. Good luck, I hope it works out for you,” Jack added as he walked backwards before turning around and going back to work.

Knowing Jack it all in hand, he ordered another drink for himself and then one for Zack too, he handed over the free drink card Zack gave him and then took a seat, waiting for Zack to return, a soft smile never leaving his lips. He hoped this would be more than a quick drink and fuck that’s if they even had sex at all.

Zack ended the phone call with a laugh and waved at Frank through the window but apparently Frank couldn’t see him, he shoved the phone back into his pocket and headed back inside. He walked with a bit more speed when Frank spotted him and gave him a smile just before he sat down, when Frank smiled back, it lit up his face.

“Is this mine?” He asked spotting the second beer, picking it up before he even got an answer.

Frank nodded slowly and his smile got brighter, "yeah man, did you check in with your friend okay? I did, I had to shoo him off but I think I'm happy I did this, it makes it all worth the work when I meet someone who I get on with.”

Zack chuckled a little at Frank’s rambling which he was sure Frank was unaware he was doing it, “He’s happy I met someone and that I owe him a few beers,” he smirked before a frown marked his face, “You did this?”

Frank nodded again, it’s all he seemed to be doing, he smiled, "yeah, sorry I forgot to mention that bit, I organised tonight but no worries all of the profit from tonight goes towards researching HIV, aids and cancer.”

“I guess I’m okay with that, I’m a sucker for helping out and attending charity events, and I must say this is the best one so far,” Zack winked.

Frank gave another blinding smile and raised his beer, "Cheers. Here’s to meeting people who actually catch our attention," he smiled.

Zack raised his bottle and knocked it against Frank’s, “Cheers and here’s to hoping that their attention doesn’t wonder, at least not yet,” he added.

Frank grinned back at that, sighing as he drank a little of his beer, "well I can firmly say my attention is on you. You know, I didn’t think I would actually find someone who could make me laugh, but there you are," he smiled.

He smiled softly and looked around the bar, "shall we get a booth? I see one free" he asked with a smile letting his eyes wonder over Zack once more.

Zack followed his gaze to the empty booth and grabbed his beer following Frank, once they were sat in more comfortable, private seats away from the viewing eyes from the window, he sat closer to Frank and out of pure impulsive leaned forward and kissed his lips.

Frank blushed at that and kissed Zack back slowly. He used a free hand to cover Zack’s holding it in place as he kissed him back, he let go of his beer with other hand and slid his fingers into the slightly taller man’s hair.

"I... damn that was nice," he smiled softly before taking a breath, "your, well, I mean I don’t, God I hate this part coming up but which do you prefer, giver or taker?" He asked softly, the blush so bright on his face, Frank, was sure that the whole bar could see
.
Zack turned his face so Frank’s hand slid from his hair to his cheek then placed a kiss to his palm, “you’re cute when you blush,” he chuckled before he answered him seriously, “I’m a top, if that’s what you’re trying to ask.”

"Yes, yes that’s what I mean," Frank smiled softly and then let out a little happy sigh.

"That’s good because I’m not very good at topping, I tried it once and," Frank shook his head, "it sucked and not in the good way," he finished.

Zack smiled behind his bottle, “I top but I don’t mind bottoming once in a while and I’d like to change your opinion on it. A top is only as good as his bottom, sort of speak,” He shrugged with a wink.

Zack couldn’t stop looking at Frank or his tattoos, especially the ones more visible on his arms. Frank’s pale skin made the tattoos stand out and look even brighter and he could imagine running his fingers over the outlines through blurry eyes of sleep every morning.

Frank moved back and drank more of his beer then looked at his watch, "okay, I like you and I’m guessing you like me too, so I’m going to be bold,” he took a breath and finished, “my apartment is 10 minutes away, if your place is closer, how about we go back to it and get to know each other better?"

"And I don’t want to just fuck, I like you from what I know and I would like to know more," he added for clarification.

When Zack called his friend outside, he had hoped that he was bringing Frank back to his place and told his friend he wouldn’t be able to open the shop tomorrow so he’d have to open and run the shop all morning.

“As much as I like you Frank, I would actually like to know a little more about you before we have sex and even if we don’t reach that step I would really like it if you slept over. That is, after we talk some more,” he replied.

He finished his beer and slid out the booth holding out his hand for Frank to take, “my place is closer. I live just off the sea coast around the corner.”

Frank smiled at that and nodded slowly taking Zack’s hand, "sounds good to me Zack, very good," He leaned in to kiss him once more, "we can cash in that other free drink another night," he added getting his coat.

Zack waited by the door, when he left home earlier the sun was out and he didn’t feel the need to carry or wear extra baggage when he was just going to be sitting in the bar for most of the evening, a waste of effort in his book. Plus, he wanted to show off his colourful arms hoping it added that extra appeal to the men he was to meet.

He lent against the door and watched the people, mostly couples walk passed laughing with their partner and sharing those secret touches. He turned towards Frank’s voice when he heard him saying goodbye to the bartender, he smiled when he reached the door and offered out his hand again.

“Ready?” Zack grinned.

"Very, " he smiled and clasped Zack’s open palm, his other hand going to Zack’s arm running over his tattoos, "so, how long have you been running the music shop for?" He asked with another smile.

He liked talking with Zack, it felt like just another friend to him.

Christmas time.

2011-12-25T16:17:11Z

Title: Christmas time.
Author:littlepluto
Pairing: Pierre/David.
Rating: PG.
POV: 3rd.
Summary:Pierre pulled back and gazed at David lazily studied him, “You’re beautiful,” He admitted, unable to keep the words at bay. David just smiled.
Disclaimer: Product of my imagination and love of anything French.
Author Notes: A spark ignited when helping mom put up the Christmas tree. **Public for 7 days only.
Beta:littlepluto - Proof read about 4 times. My Beta was unavailable.
Warnings: Too much fluff.

"It's slanted,"

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"You have wonky vision, what do you know," Pierre retorted childishly as he stared proudly at his newly decorated tree.

David glared and pushed his glasses back up his nose with his finger before defending himself, "there’s nothing wrong with my vision; the glasses bring out the different flecks of colours in my eyes.”

Pierre snorted and adjusted a bauble on the tree, “even if it’s wonky, it doesn’t matter. Nothing’s perfect on Christmas, if it was there’d be no grumpy boyfriend who belittles my tree skills and there would be no eggnog, that stuff is just gross,” he replied softly with a shrug.

David looked at Pierre and instantly felt guilty; he knew how much Pierre wanted to believe in the Christmas spirit. The constant touring left little time to have a ‘normal life’ and enjoy the little things that happened around the holidays. Christmas was Pierre’s favourite time of year, and who was David to deny him that.

David didn’t understand why Pierre felt the need to have a tree from the same lot every year or why the same star had to sit on top of the tree but what he really didn’t understand was Pierre’s determination to make Christmas outweigh the others, it was… strange.

He pressed a kiss to Pierre’s cheek and went to check on the food preparation in the kitchen, what he didn’t see as he walked away was Pierre’s cheeky grin.

“This Christmas will be the best,” he whispered to himself before rearranging a few baubles on the tree idly.

Christmas day soon arrived and Pierre was up at the crack of dawn running down the stairs while dragging an irritated, sleepy David behind him, who whined, “Pierre, it is 6am, let me sleep.”

“No, it’s Christmas,” Pierre retorted and impulsively picked up David once he reached the bottom of the stairs and carried him into the lounge where all the presents awaited.

“I want you to have the best Christmas ever, and you can’t do that when you’re sleeping.”

David sighed but couldn’t keep the grin from his face at Pierre’s excitement, when Pierre finally set him down on the sofa he reached over to the coffee table and put on the stereo, smiling when Christmas music filled the room, “okay, which present first?”

Pierre laughed and rummaged under the tree pulling out a present for David, “here you go, open this one first,” he said handing him a large badly, wrapped box.

David accepted it selfishly and ripped off the wrapping paper sparing no thought to the precious minutes it took Pierre to wrap it, he stopped his frantic hand movements and stared at the box unable to form words, “Pierre… this is, too much,” he whispered in awe.

Pierre leaned forward placing his hands on David’s knees for support and pressed a kiss to his lips and murmured, “nothing is too much for you.”

David placed the keyboard to the side and got down on the floor beside Pierre and picked up a box wrapped in sparkly purple paper and handed it to Pierre with a smile, “Merry Christmas, Pie,”

He snatched the present from David and carefully unwrapped the small box, Pierre gasped and pulled out a stunning watch, “it’s beautiful, David, thank you.”

“Turn it over,” David instructed.

On the back was an inscription in cursive letters;

‘Pie,
Fate and time led me to you,
Love always,
David.’

Pierre bit his lip and put the watch on his left wrist before crushing his lover into a hug.

“I love it, baby,” he thanked softly, and pressed a feather, light kiss to the skin just below his ear, “okay, now let’s finish unwrapping the rest together.”

A lounge full of paper later, both men were sat with their backs against the sofa admiring their presents, knowing later they’d have to do it all over again when they went to their families for dinner.

Suddenly, Pierre remembered the present that lay hid in the snowman’s hat by the fire, he crawled across, David watching suspiciously, grabbed the present and sat back in his original position, this time facing David.

“I wanted to keep this until tonight, but I feel now is the right time,” he said softly, and spared a glance to his watch.

David eyed the box; his heart going a mile a minute hoping he knew what he wished was in the box, he licked his dry lips and with shaky hands ripped off the paper and quickly opened the box.

Pierre summoned the courage and took the box from David and pulled out the ring, he sat the box down, reaching for David’s left hand with his free hand.

“David, can you remember our first kiss? We were choosing a Christmas tree for my house at the small lot by the bridge overlooking the river. I knew then that if I could manage to keep you and survive four Christmases without messing things up completely, I would marry you…”

David tightened his grip on Pierre’s hand as everything fell into place; the lot, the first star they bought and that each year Pierre, much to David’s protesting, always bought him a surprise present. Yes, it all made sense to him now.

Pierre cleared his throat, let out a nervous breath and continued, “David, I love you more than any words could describe and more than any love song lyrics, without you I wouldn’t be the man or front man I am today… Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” David blurted out and laughed softly, “yes Pie, I will marry you.”

He watched with blurry eyes as Pierre slipped the cold, white gold band onto his finger and kissed his knuckles.

“I love you, Pierre,” he sniffled and shifted himself into Pierre’s arm.

David couldn’t believe it; Pierre was going to be officially his.

Pierre pulled back and gazed at David lazily, he studied him with nothing but love and affection in his eyes, “you’re beautiful,” he admitted, unable to keep the words at bay.

David just smiled.

I'm blinded by the darkness.

2011-12-04T01:14:17Z

Title: I'm blinded by the darkness.
Author: littlepluto
Author Notes: I wrote this during the darkest period of my life. It was the only period in my life that I felt that maybe, just maybe I would be better off dead. I never want to think like that again.

The eyeliner I wear was just a disguise,
to hide the sadness behind my hazel brown eyes.
Misery and angry were what's locked up inside,
it gave me fear, that I could no longer hide.

Tried to erase the words that made me so blue,
but turning back time was impossible to do.
With the music up loud I sat alone in my room.
I talked to the stars and howled at the moon.

I made myself fake but I got caught short,
nothing but music was there for support.
Memories and taunts went around in my head,
one time I thought I'd be better off dead.

I wanted to be slim not fat nor thin,
not some leftover body left in the bin.
Time moved fast yet I stood still,
thinking like that was making me ill.

Stop all these feelings and set me free,
I wanted to be happy, fuck, I wanted to be me.

Battle.

2011-11-30T01:41:32Z

Title: Battle.
Author: littlepluto
Author Notes: A little something I wrote for Andy. He suffers from PTSD which was triggered by fireworks. Also, with his permission I used words from his journal in quotation marks. I love him dearly, so I dedicate this to him via his request

I felt your breath against my newly battered cheek,
which brought me the comfort I still sorely seek.
In between four white walls I bravely confessed,
"I fear this rabid growing, fucked up mess,
will be the death of an imprisoned man."

I heard their voices they were calling out to me,
but I couldn't answer my mouth was stitched shut.
I'm seconds from insanity and I'm still fighting,
because in this cramped, damp room, I screamed,
"Pain is worth nothing, if my life is worthless."

Colours in the night sky spiked me with fear,
everything stopped and I took three steps back.
Encouraged by a drug and enraged by dream, I promised you this,
"In my mind demons are held capitve by fear and hate,
one day, Tyler, I will set them free."

Suck.

2011-11-20T19:38:39Z

Title: Suck.
Author:
Pairing: Matt [A7X] / Mick [18V].
Rating: Not sure.
POV: 3rd.
Summary: Matt debated for a second before climbing on Mick, enjoying the feel of his lover beneath him, and asked hesitantly, “Can I suck you, now?”
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue. If you want to sue me, take into account I have 50p to my name, and you are not taking my dog!
Author Notes: Written with my illness in mind.
Beta: winginblood
Warnings: Sex mentioned. Swearing.

A harsh sob was cut off by an equally painful cough. The man hidden under the black duvet tried to call out but the only thing he managed was to let out a strangled, raw sound. With determination he reached out to the nightstand and curled his sweaty yet cold fingers around his mobile phone.

Matt let out another pathetic sound as he half heartedly scrolled through the list of numbers in his phone, stopping when he reached his lover’s name. He hit the green button and pressed the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” The voice on the end answered.

Matt felt his whole body relax at hearing his lover’s voice and he blurted out quickly, “can you come home?”

He scrunched up his face when what felt like shards of glass in his throat ripped the muscles as he spoke, “please.”

The man on the other end sighed, “let me see if I can get someone to cover me, okay? “

He knew Matt hated being ill and resorted to acting like a child, seeking comfort and care from those around him. Fortunately, he’d been with Matt a long time and knew exactly how to care for his man.

“Oh, okay,” Matt whispered dejectedly and hung up the phone without saying goodbye, letting his lover know he was less than pleased. With a groan he turned onto his side facing away from the window.

Mick arrived home an hour later after getting one of the workers to stay longer and look after the store until closing. After hanging up his coat and kicking off his shoes, he headed up the stairs two at a time. When he reached the bedroom, he was met with the most beautiful sight. Matt’s head was barely visible due to the mass of blankets that took up the bed and his short, curly hair was matted to the sweat on his forehead. His lips were slightly parted and little snores escaped every fourth breath. He looked perfect.

With a smile, Mick shut the door after him and with quiet, timid steps he made his way over to his sleeping boyfriend to kneel on the floor close to his head.

He watched Matt for a few moments then reluctantly began to wake him, “Matt, wake up. I’m home.”

One eye slowly slid open followed by the other one and Matt took in the sight of his lover, “you’re here,” he whispered with a smile, stretching his achy muscles and scrubbing at his eyes, hoping to rid himself of sleep but it proved to be a hard task.

With a slight nod Mick agreed. He cupped Matt’s jaw, feeling a few days worth of stubble against his palm, “this is the third day you’ve called me home from work, what’s up?”

Matt bit his lip and shrugged before leaning into Mick’s palm, not wanting to lose contact as he muttered like a petulant child, “I miss you and I hate feeling like this.”

“I know you do, so how about this? I’ll run you a nice bubble bath and make you your momma’s chicken broth, then we can curl up with a movie and you can suck me until you fall asleep,” Mick suggested and leaned forward to peck Matt’s lips.

Matt leaned forward wanting more but stopped suddenly when he felt light-headed, “you’re the best fiancée ever,” he grinned dopily and let Mick help him into a sitting position, whimpering when his muscles protested against the movement.

Mick kissed him soundly before stepping back. “I’ll go make you that soup,” he said softly, stealing one more kiss before turning to leave.

Matt felt so lucky. He couldn't believe how he’d managed to keep Mick around. He wasn’t always the easiest person to live with, you could say he was a control freak and being ill wasn’t a part of his plan. However, he took full advantage of his lover’s giving nature and he knew that Mick loved giving it.

Mick whistled and hummed as he chopped the vegetables and put them into the pot. Stirring them into the onion and chicken stock, he finished off with a little spice and a dash of salt before leaving the soup to simmer. He loved moments like this when he got to take care of Matt. He enjoyed their hectic lives but it was days similar to this that made everything worth it, because to him, there’s nothing more satisfying than knowing you’re taking care of your man.

When it was done, he poured the soup into two bowls and placed them on a tray, added a few slices of bread and got the spoons. When he carried the tray into the bedroom he chuckled to see that Matt had fallen right back asleep against the adjusted pillows.

He sat the tray down and jostled Matt a little to wake him, “come on, baby. Food’s here.”

When Matt blinked his eyes open, he smiled. He shuffled over so Mick could sit beside him and accepted his half of the tray. The first spoonful was painful on his sore throat and he was eternally grateful that Mick had made sure the vegetables were completely soft.

An hour later Matt was sat between Mick’s thighs and surrounded by hot water and bubbles, his head collapsed back onto Mick’s shoulder and began to hum as he felt Mick’s fingers run through his hair.

"Can we stay here forever?” He smiled and turned his head into Mick’s chest.

Mick laughed, “we could but we’d get all wrinkly and eventually die from hypothermia.”

Matt glared and bit his chest, “spoil sport.”

He reached over for the soap and lathered up his hands intent on giving his lover a small thank you, for taking care of him.

As much as Mick wanted to feel Matt’s hands on his dick, Matt was ill and a hand job would lead to something more and Mick knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself. Matt needed rest and having him fuck Mick into the bed was counterproductive.

With great reluctance, he stilled Matt’s hand from sliding up his thigh and said firmly, “stop.”

Matt frowned and tried again but stopped when Mick’s grip tightened. He glared and snatched his own hand back, asking, “why?”

Mick rubbed his temples and sighed.

“You’re sick, Matt. I take advantage in many ways but I will not take advantage of you like that,” he explained and curled his fingers around the base of Matt’s neck pulling him in for a kiss. The kiss went on for a long time and Mick pulled back before he gave in and gave Matt what he wanted. He took the soap from Matt’s free hand and lathered up his own hands then dropped the soap into the water.

He let his hands roam over Matt’s skin, making sure to get into every crease and every dip. He took his time on Matt’s fingers and toes, finishing with a kiss to his neck, “there, all nice and clean.”

Once again Matt lathered up his hands, this time to return the favour. He traced every tattoo of Mick’s that he knew by memory and he traced his treasure trail but stopped himself from going any further, not wanting to have a repeat of earlier. He focused on Mick’s hips, his favourite place on his lover’s body.

When it was time to climb out Mick went first, securing the towel around his waist before helping Matt out of the tub. He grabbed another towel and gently began to rub Matt dry, taking his time and enjoying the peaceful silence between them.

When Matt started to sway Mick quickly finished, wanting his lover into bed with fresh sheets which he had changed while the bath ran. After helping his lover into the bed, Mick stripped off his own towel and walked round to the side of the bed which had been his for the past six years. With the movie on and volume turned low, Mick settled down onto the mattress with a content sigh.

Matt debated for a second before climbing on Mick, enjoying the feel of his lover beneath him, and asked hesitantly, “can I suck you, now?”

Mick nodded. “I’m all yours, baby.”

Matt turned onto his side with his back to the TV, his face buried against Mick’s chest. When Mick’s hand cradled the back of his head coaxing him, Matt finally gave in. His lips latched onto Mick’s skin between his nipple and collarbone and began to suck.

What would appear creepy and even kinky to most, to Matt was comfort. To have a lover who not only accepted his need to suck but allowed his body to be abused by countless hickeys was truly amazing and Matt never intended on letting him go.

Mick watched his lover’s mouth suck a red mark onto his skin that could hardly been seen because of his tattoos. He stared fascinated as Matt moved onto another spot. He adored Matt and if giving his lover this little comfort made him happy then Mick would gladly give up ownership of his skin.

“I love you,” Mick whispered as he ducked his head to kiss the top of Matt’s head. He knew the words were returned when Matt stopped sucking to his kiss his chest, before going back to what he was doing.

Yes, Matt had a thing for sucking much like a baby with a dummy obsession but Matt was his and it made him happy and safe. To Mick that was all that ever mattered.

Beach [3/4]

2011-11-09T21:57:08Z

Title: Beach [3/4]
Subtitle: Trust
Author: littlepluto
Pairing: Jimmy/Johnny Side pairings: Matt/Senga [Het], Zack/Brian.
Rating: Overall NC-17
POV: Johnny's
Summary: The waves crashed across the sand and I knew from this moment on, I have everything I wanted.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue. If you want to sue me, take into account, I have 50p to my name,and you are not taking my dog!
Author Notes: My wrist hates me with a passion refusing to let me write but with a lot of ice and willpower I finished this chapter.
Beta: aella_freya
Warnings: Mentions of past Mpreg/sexual acts. Swearing.

The sun is high in the cloud-free sky yet im staring at the hot orange sand beneath my feet avoiding Jimmy's blue gaze.

I can't stop my mind from repeating the moment Jimmy's thin lips crashed with my full ones or the way his hesitantly lips touched mine with the softest touch, yet it had the heat and passion of long lost lovers. It's torture!

I can't avoid him forever, seeing as I’m the one who told him we needed to talk. I just don’t know how. How do you tell someone that you’ve loved them since the day you met? How do you tell someone that the smile on their face knocks you off your feet? Or how do you tell them that one kiss meant everything? That they're your everything.

I lift my sunburnt head and confused blue eyes lock with mine. Fuck, here goes nothing.

“Jimmy I...” I start to say only to be cut off by Jimmy

“No, Johnny, I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me, you just looked perfect not that your not perfect anyway, I mean you looked more perfect if that makes sense. Your lips just looked all pouty and red and kissable,” Jimmy rambles.

Wow all that in one breathe, I’m amazed.

He looks so hot when he blushes and out of breath. Infact, he’s hot altogether. The way his damp black straightened hair sticks to his forehead from the tortured rays of the sun. The hint of pink to his pale skinny frame, his long fingers placed on his gorgeous hips the same way he does when he's mad.

I imagine him above me staring lovingly in to my brown eyes as he thrusts deep inside me, making me arch in pleasure, toes curling into the sheets, my fingers gripping his bony shoulders as he hits my prostate dead on, whispering filthy dirty words in my ear of how he’s always wanted me this way so dominated and exposed.

My cock starts to twitch with anticipation of something that’s never going to happen, but there’s not harm in jerking off over it, only I start to realize where I am. Shit!

Think of girls. Yes! Girls in dresses, girls in shorts, girls naked… Ew! It’s working. Keep going, my mum, pop music. Sugar, spice, everything nice! Why the fuck am I quoting Power puff girls? Who cares, my cock is no longer twitching and in need of release.

I snapped abruptly out of my thoughts when a rough hand collides with my cheek.

“Hey! What the fuck was that for?” I seethe.

“You fucking zoned out on me man. I thought you were gonna faint,” Jimmy said to me with a hint of worry on his face

“Oh sorry, I was just thinking about what you said,” I search his eyes finding fear and curiosity.

“And...what are you thinking now?”

“Jim... I don’t know okay? What if we both want different things?”

“Fine, that’s okay. I’m going to tell you what I want. Because I’m fed up of holding everything I feel for you bottled up inside while you eye-fuck some blonde bitch in a fucking bikini.”

“That’s not fair, I wasn’t eye-fucking her, I don’t even like girls you stupid prick, or haven’t you noticed!”

“Point taken but still, you have no fucking idea how much it hurts. How much it fucking hurts to see you with someone, to see you everyday and not hold you or kiss you good morning. I hate it so much, I hate it when your upset and there’s nothing I can do about it except tell you its gonna be okay. When I all I ever want to do is to kiss away your tears and make you smile. But I can’t do that Johnny, can I? God! I fucking love you so much it hurts me to the point where I can’t breathe.”

I stare blankly in shock of the confessions spilling past Jimmy’s screaming lips.

“Johnny, say something,” he whispers with so much sadness laced in his voice.

“Please I need to know if my words aren’t just some thrown away lyrics.”

I open my mouth and let me heart do the talking.

“I’m scared Jimmy,” he looks up.

“I’m scared that I’m just going to be another notch on your bed post, I’m scared that I’m gonna get hurt, I’m scared that I might have to explain to Alex that he’s lost someone else in his life if it goes wrong. I’m scared you're going to realize you’re waking up beside someone you don’t love. I’m scared because I’m falling in love with someone who already has my heart. I’m scared he’s going to break it and leave me to fix the pieces. I’m scared because I would let him break it. I’m scared because I’m in love with the drummer of Avenged Sevenfold.”

“You love me?” His hands cup my face so lovingly I lose myself and lean into them. I feel the care and love they hold.

“Yea Jimmy I do, I love you,” I reply with happiness and relief in my voice.

“I love you too so fucking much.”

He leans, this time it's not hesitant, it’s full of lust and unspoken words. His lips burn against mine, his tongue probes my bottom lip beginning for entrance. I grant him his wish and open my mouth, our tongues battle for dominance, his winning and exploring ever inch of my mouth, marking his territory.

I put my everything into the kiss hoping he understands that I belong to him and no-one else. We pull unwillingly apart due to lack of breath.

His lips are red and bruised. He smiles leaning his forehead against mine.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Matt running over with a shit eating grin on his face.

“So, have you two confessed your deep, sickly love for one another because quite frankly I’m fed up of you two bitching to me about I love him but he doesn’t love me bullshit. Cause if you haven’t, I’m gonna knock the fuck out of you both,” Matt says doing his girly impression.

“Yea Matt, we have,” Jimmy smiles looking my way, I can’t help but smile back.

“Finally!” He turns round, “Syn pay up motherfucker,” he shouts spinning back around .

He smiles at us, “later guys.”

We wave at him as he runs up the beach. Damn cock suckers having bets on us.

Us? Is there an us?

I’m still scared. I don’t know if I can deal with rejection again. When Jacoby left beacuse Papa Roach was more important to him, I promised myself I would never let anyone hurt me or Alex again. But Jimmy, he’s been my best friend since school, but can I trust with my life, not only mine but Alex’s too?

I feel tugging on my jeans, I look down coming face to face with my beloved son, Alex.

“Hey baby, what’s up?” I coo gently as I pick him up.

“You were gone long time daddy. Was scawed,” he mumbles into my neck.

“Aww, I’m sorry baby but daddy had to have a chat with Uncle Jimmy,” as soon as I said Jimmy’s name my son’s head shot up searching for him.

“Uncle Jimmy!” My son giggles, holding his arms out for Jimmy to grab him.

Jimmy smiles at me and positions my son on his hip, kissing his temple.

“Hey little man, what’s happening?”

“You missed it Uncle Jimmy. Uncle Bwian tickled uncle Zacky until he said mewcy and uncle Matty twipped over the food box and he eated the sand!” Alex’s eyes light up. I space out for awhile as my son continues his story.

I sit down on the now cooling sand, resting my head on knees. Closing my eyes and relaxing to the sound of giggling and the calm blue ocean.

Opening my sleepy eyes, I notice someone pressed against me, that’s when I realize I’m laying down curled up against a skinny body, Jimmy’s.

I look up to see him gazing down at me with Alex asleep on his chest.

“Hey,” he whispers turning his head back to the setting sun.

“Hey, how long was I out?” I ask into his chest.

“Long enough, the others have gone back I told them that we won’t be long,” his eyes still focused on horizon.

“Johnny is there an ‘us’? I need to know.”

I looked down at Alex who’s mouth is slightly parted pressed against Jimmy’s neck, his breathing soft and even, fingers loosely curled by his sides.

Alex loves Jimmy, he’s his favorite Uncle. Jimmy’s always there for Alex, they both love me and I love them. Us? Family? Its all I’ve ever wanted, would I really give it up because I’m scared? I think not.

After all I am Johnny fucking Christ!

“Okay Jimmy,” Our eyes meet, “one chance.”

“Really?” Jimmy asked with a big grin.

“Yeha, I trust you with our hearts, I trust you not to break them.”

Our lips meet in a chaste kiss, as he whispers against them.

“I love you both too much to ever hurt you.”

“Thank you. Lets get going, Alex is ready for bed,” I start to stand up holding my hand out for Jimmy to reach and pull him up.

We set off walking away from the calm and serenity of the beach towards my future. Our hands brush and Jimmy slides his fingers through mine and squeezes. I hold back just as tight. We share a secret smile.

I glance back to the ocean to see the sun finally set, taking my past with it.

Beach [2/4]

2011-11-09T21:54:30Z

Title: Beach [2/4]
Subtitle Fear
Author: littlepluto
Pairing: Johnny/Jimmy. Side pairings: Matt/Senga [Het], Zack/Brian.
Rating:Overall NC-17
POV: Jimmy's
Summary: The waves crashed across the sand and I knew from this moment on, I have everything I wanted.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue. If you want to sue me, take into account, I have 50p to my name and you are not taking my dog!
Author Notes: Sorry it took long to post, had some writer block. What a pain in the ass. Thanks to my BTEA for clearing some things up.
Beta: aella_freya
Warnings: Mentions of past Mpreg/sexual acts. Swearing.

Beach [1/4]

We’re about 10 minutes away from the beach, with the sun high in the sky, turning my pale skin rosy pink, I never thought to put some sun cream on before we left.

Johnny is stood to my left, gazing at the ocean coming into view. It amazes me how someone who used to be stubborn and strong-minded about never wanting to grow up just like Peter Pan, turned into this amazing and caring father that would do anything to protect and make his son happy and put himself last. I think that’s why deep down I love him. Of course I will never tell him this, I can’t risk losing him and Alex.

It would break what’s left of pained heart. He has become someone I envy and yet the one person I grave more than anything else in my life.

I’m still holding little Alex, I can feel my arm going numb under the weight but I don’t have the heart or the will power, to wake him up, knowing as soon as he wakes up he‘d want his daddy, making reality sink in that, this isn't my family.

His light curly blonde hair tickles against my handcuff tattoo around my neck, his hands only just hold on to my shoulder letting me know he’s asleep. His perfect blue eyes are hidden behind his closed eyelids, twitching slightly. He’s small for a 3 and a half year old but I guess that’s what you get when your dad’s only 5 foot 4 inches, like Johnny.

Alex in many ways is like his father, when he’s awake he creates a mess and blaming it on Uncle Matty or Uncle Zacky, he runs around with so much energy I never knew a 3 and a half year old could possess. He likes painting, more so on the walls, rather than the scrapbook Zacky gave him after finding Alex covered in paint wearing one of his favorite misfits t-shirts, painting Zack and Brian’s bedroom wall with a I-didn’t-do-anything smile on his little face.

Yet when the day is over, you can find him cuddled up in Johnny’s or even sometimes my lap, watching his bedtime movie ‘Tom and Jerry: The Movie.’ It makes me smile, remembering how he giggles when Johnny tries, and I mean tries, to do his Tom impression.

The way he lays on his side facing the wall, to protect himself from the bed monsters, knowing that the sand man will come and destroy them for the night. Yet no matter how many times I tell myself this is not my family and that Alex belongs to Johnny, that Johnny doesn’t to belong to me. I can't help but protect and love them.

About a couple of feet in front are Zack and Brian holding hands, standing close, while Zack bitches about the weather and Brian humming pretending to pay attention, those two are the most strange but perfect couple to ever exist.

Next to them are Matt and Senga laughing and talking about something I’m not even listening to. I love them both as my brother and sister that have sex. Okay that came out wrong, but you get what I mean. But without them all, especially without Brian I may still be on the streets today, and I never would have met Jonathon Lewis Seward. For that I am grateful.

We finally arrive at the beach, we find a quiet spot that isn’t as busy. We start to sort out the stuff, I hand over Alex unwillingly.

“Oh Brian you forgot to bring the fucking sun tan lotion, know I’m going to go all fucking red like a lobster and it will be your stupid ass’ fault,” Zacky starts to rant.

“Zack can you watch your language please, my son is sat here, and you can borrow mine,” Johnny scolds.

I laugh lightly as Zack huffs and whines to Brian that Johnny told him off, Brian hugs him better. I was just about to ask a question when a girl, with too much bleach in her hair comes over.

“Awww is this little cutie your son?” She asks Johnny, smiling showing of her white teeth.

“Erm... Yeah, yes he is why?” Johnny says confused.

“He’s so adorable, do you mind if I say hello?” She asks with a hesitant smile on her fake botox lips.

“Yeah sure, don’t see why not?” He smiles back.

She bends down, showing too much of her fucking cleavage that Alex or me don’t need to see, what does she want?

“Hello, my names Anna, what’s yours cutie?”

“No, my names Alex, not cutie,” Alex timidly speaks. I’d wish she’d back off.

“Okay, Alex, it was very nice to meet you,” shaking his little hand.

“You too,” he says, “Daddy I want to sit with Uncle Jimmy now,”

“Okay baby,” Alex climbs on my lap, and places a kiss to my cheek, before turning to sit facing the sea. Johnny turns to the girl,

“Do you want anything else?”

“Yeah, call me,” handing Johnny a piece of paper with a number on, Johnny folds it up and places it in his pocket.

“Sure,” he grins. She walks away swinging her skinny tanned hips.

He grins, he fucking grins, why is he grinning? Is he really gonna call her? I am fuming, I am angry that she was talking to my Johnny. I can honestly say I’m pissed off and upset but at what though, Johnny’s not mine, and never has been, and from the smile on his face, I guess he never will be. God, Jimmy, get a grip!

“Uncle Jimmy, why is your face all red?” Alex suddenly points to my face, making every one look at me.

Shit, fuck, bugger Just calm down, take deep breathes and explain to them that you are red from the sun and the heat, and not from getting over protective and jealous of some blonde bimbo called ‘Anna’ chatting up Johnny Christ, cause really why would I be jealous of that.

Except for the fact that he's funny, talented, kind, a great listener and the father of cutest kid in the whole fucking universe!. Fuck, I must really love him, oh, that’s just marvelous.

"It's the sun, it's to fu… freaking hot, and I forgot to put sun cream on my face," they look at me with disbelief .

“Yeah right, we all believe that dude,” Zack says accusingly.

“It is honest... Anyway, anybody want to play Land brawl, or are you scared I’m gonna kick your ass,” I ask changing the conversation away from the fact that I’m madly and deeply crazy in love with our dear bassist.

“Yeah okay, we’re in,” Matt says, “me and Senga vs. Zack and Brian first.”

He sends a knowing smirk my way, as he helps Senga up on to his broad shoulders. While Brian is moaning about Zacky needing to loose some pounds, Zack twats him up side the head, making him apologize or there will be no wrestling tonight. Knowing Alex was in ear shot.

Johnny kind of had to tell the birds and the bees meets TNA story a bit earlier then he thought.

I stand up declaring myself as the referee as I know Johnny would end up getting in the middle of it somehow.

Senga attacks first with a hard shove to Zack's left shoulder. Zack nearly loses his balance but comes back with more vengeance. No pun intended.

His small chubby hands grip on to Senga’s shoulders, screaming all kinds of profanities directed at her, and the man holding her up. I guess he doesn’t like losing.

Senga holds on to Zack’s upper arm supporting herself, digging her nails in, screaming right back at him, making Zack let go. Brain stumbled backwards but regained his balance, while Matt looked on, smug look upon his pink, heated face.

I hear some laughing behind me, I turn around to find Johnny giving Alex a raspberry on his stomach, making the little one giggle and turn red in the face, Johnny looks up with the most genuine smile on his lips, as he kisses his son’s head and whispers something in his ear sending Alex into another fit of giggles.

Thoughts start to gather in my head, wishing I was the one Johnny was whispering something to, the way his lips would feel against my weak spot below my ear, his breath on my neck as he whispers sweet nothings in my ear.

His small hands, wrap around my skinny waist holding me close like I belong to him and know one else. The way his fingers would rub small circles on my hips when I’m upset or stressed, humming words of my favorite song against my morning bed hair.

The smile on his face, when I tell him I love him. How I would love to standing against the doorframe watching Johnny and Alex play and laughing knowing that’s my family, and that everything I need, I’m looking at.

I’m ripped away from my precious thoughts, from a scream coming from what sounded like Senga, I turn round to find Zack holding Senga’s bikini top with wide eyes. She cries and screams, covering her naked chest, while Matt helps her down off his shoulders aiming a murderous glare at Zack, who’s still wide eyed holding the top.

Zack scrambles down off Brian, hiding behind him, knowing Matt will have something to say or do.

“What the frigging hell are you playing at Zack, look what you’ve done,” Matt rages through gritted teeth and points a finger at a crying half naked Senga.

“I-I-I didn’t mean to Matt it was an accident, I swear, please Matt,” Zack pleads clinging to Brian like his life depended on it.

If this was a cartoon, you would see steam pass through Matt ears, and his face would be a bright red tomato, because that’s how he looks right now. I feel sorry for Zack. I feel as if I’m stood watching an episode of CSI take place.

“Matt, cool it okay, he didn’t mean it, it’s not like he purposely pulled it off to have a grope at her tits, he prefers dick, or did you forget that?” Brian tries to reason, not exactly helping with the last comment.

Matt takes a step forward, I turn to quickly to see Johnny holding Alex into his chest, knowing what’s about to happen. I turn back round just in time to step in front of Matt, holding him back before his fist connected with Brian’s jaw. I don’t want Alex seeing his uncles fight.

“Will you guys stop, Alex is sat over there watching, do want him to see you act like this? Cause I sure as hell don’t!” I seethe at both of them. My lisp evidently heard.

“Zack apologize to Senga, so we can fucking move on from this charade please?” I beg.

“Fine. Senga I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get carried away and if it's any consolation, you have great baps,” Zack apologized with a cheesy smile, making her laugh and wipe her tears.

Johnny starts to stride over, holding little Alex's hand with his 2 fingers. I let go of Matt and pull off my t-shirt as the warm weather is starting to get to me while giving Johnny a view of my skinny frame. I walk over to him swinging my hips a little.

"Hey, you want to get your lovely thighs up on these shoulders and kick their ass?" I ask with a grin from ear to ear, making Johnny copy my expression.

Johnny walks off to hand Alex over to Matt and Senga. Who are now positioned on the sand, Senga between Matt's nicely tanned legs.

I look over to find Brian now on Zacky's shoulders, I wonder how that works, I guess we under estimated Zack's strength. This should be easy, a small smirk comes to my lips. Zack can't last long. I hope.

Someone jabs my side, I spin round to come blue eyes to hazel eyes, with Johnny Christ.

I wonder what goes through those eyes of his. I wonder if he sees my vulnerability, when his eyes drift over my body. Does he see the fear in my eyes, or the secrets I hide behind them? I wonder if the love and lust I have for him, is visible through my solid blue eyes as I look into his unreadable yet expression filled eyes.

That's when I realize how close I'm to Johnny, I can feel his hot breathe against my neck. I unintentionally let my hands deceive me and work their way up Johnny's sides to his shoulders, were I place them firmly.

Confused eyes stare into mine, as almost daring me to make the next step, I feel something screw my stomach in knots, I lean in slowly, eyes still glued to his.

His breathe is strong against my dry, hesitant lips. His chest rising faster the closer I move in. My eyes slip closed. Our lips connect, hot meets cold, lust meets love, Johnny meets me. My lips start to tingle against the pressure I start to apply and I don’t fuck believe this is happening.

"Lovebirds, you ready yet? Zacky's gonna collapse soon." Brian cuts through.

My eyes shoot open and I take a step back. Fuck what was I thinking, I've gone and ruined everything. Johnny's never gonna forgive me, he'll push me away, he'll hate me. Fuck, what have I done.

I clear my throat pretending nothing happened, we still have a game to play.

"Get on my shoulders then," I order Johnny.

"Sure," he says with a small smile, tugging at his lips.

Fuck, he just smiled at me. Why? Does he feel the same, he can't, can he? Shit what if he did and I missed my chances by being a fucking scared cat instead of expressing how I feel. He smiled. He fucking smiled.

I smile back leaning down to allow Johnny's small legs to slide over my shoulders, my hands grip his calves, holding him in place. His fingers entwined around my neck getting himself balanced. He starts to wiggle his ass, fuck knows what for.

The feeling of his dick rubbing against my neck, sends wild imaginations through my twisted head.

Thoughts of how my skinny and rough drummer hands will abuse his small body. The screams and begging that will fall for his foul mouth, as my fingers pry open his pink tight asshole.

The shivers that will be sent down his spine, as my tongue runs over his C-Section scar. Tears that will run freely from his chocolate eyes, as my hard dick, enters his forbidden body slowly. Whimpers will escape his lips as I wipe the tears away.

One day I know that will be mine.

With Johnny securely on my shoulders, I walk steadily and a bit unevenly, due to the added weight, standing in front of a cocky Brain and a pained Zack.

"You boys ready to embarrass yourselves as you drop to the sand?" A very cocky Brian asks.

"You ready, to eat your own words Syn?" Johnny spits back with venom teasing through his voice.

Zack lunges forward, missing his step, falling flat on his face. Brian screams, while landing head first into the dry, hot sand. Sending me and a stunned Johnny into a fit of laughter.

Matt and Senga run over, with Alex in front.

"What the f- hell happened?" Matt questions.

"Zack took his own ass down, bringing a cocky Brian with him," laughs Johnny.

Matt and Senga catch on and burst out laughing too. Alex looks up confused.

Zacky dusts himself off, face red with pure embarrassment.

"Erm... excuse me, while I take off," Zack speaks while walking backwards, before going into full sprint.

"Little fucker get your fat ass over here," an angry Brian shouts, chasing after the guitarist.

I turn to face Johnny, he goes quiet.

"I think we need to talk," oh, shit.

"Matt can you look after Alex for me? I need to talk to Jimmy."

"Sure man," Matt replied sending me a hopeful look.

I start to prepare myself for the worst. Fuck!

Beach [1/4]

2011-11-09T21:50:50Z

Tile: Beach [1/4]
Subtitle: Loneliness.
Author: littlepluto
Pairing: Jimmy/Johnny Side pairings: Matt/Senga [Het], Zack/Brian.
Rating: Overall NC-17
POV: Johnny's
Summary: The waves crashed across the sand and I knew from this moment on, I have everything I wanted.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue. If you want to sue me, take into account, I have 50p to my name and you are not taking my dog!
Author Notes: My first chaptered fanfiction story. Dedicated to my BETA. She came up with the idea and I wrote it. Senga, you rule and I love you.
Beta: aella_freya
Warnings:Mentions of past Mpreg/sexual acts. Swearing.

I’m suddenly, brutally woken up by the sound of a fucking megaphone in my bedroom, I look up and see the faces smiling at down at me. It seems the guys were fed up of waiting for me to wake up and took matters into their own hands, destroying my hearing in the process.

"Guys, what the fuck are you trying to do, fucking kill me, I was asleep man," I half yell lazily, while having a constant ringing in my ears.

"Dude, its 8.30am, get your skinny but fine looking ass out of that bed right now!" Matt says with a little smirk on his face, which earns a playful slap from Senga.

“No, now piss off I’m trying to sleep,” I mumble into the pillow, before I notice the cot next to me was empty.

Before I can voice my questions, two familiar arms wrap around my stomach and hoist me over their bony shoulder. I can smell coffee mixed with expensive cigarettes and apples, I could just get lost in the scent.

You see the unknown fact is, I have a small, ok not so small, crush on the tall skinny but perfect drummer, call me biased, I don’t care.

The feel of his strong talented hands around my stomach sends butterflies to my stomach making me physically shiver, his hands brush against my ass as they move down to grip my thighs in place so I don't fall.

Just imagining his hands pushing my thighs apart and kneeling in between them, laying gentle but firm kisses from my knee to my hipbone, making his mark on me. The way his head would bob up and down on my stiff aching cock, his tongue running along the thick vein from the base to the tip making me arch in desperation and pleasure. Jimmy's fingers gripping my hips forcing me still, while my rough bassist hands pull on his black locks, God! I'm making myself hard thinking about it, shit I hope he thinks it’s just a microphone in my PJ pants.

Who the fuck am I kidding!

“Jimmy Sullivan, you best put me down right now or... or... I will,” I yell kicking and screaming, causing more friction between my legs.

I held in a moan before finishing, “or I will have your ass right here, right now, I may be small but i know how to pack a punch.”

“I know you want my ass already Johnny, but were not evening dating yet, besides I don’t bottom,” Jimmy laughed.

Well I set myself up there didn't I? A hint of a fucking smirk on his face.

The thought of Jimmy being below me panting for breath as I fuck him hard, fast and raw into the mattress, hair messed up and stuck with sweat to his flushed face, sent my cock into involuntary spasm yet I couldn't stop thinking dirty thought.

I imagined Jimmy's steel ocean blue eyes fill with lust over everything I’m doing to him, I hear him scream my name as he comes over his pale stomach without being touched and making small sounds of whimpers with haggard breathes. I havd to bite down on my bottom lip as not to not let myself whimper out loud.

I look up as much as I can, a bit difficult when blood has been rushed to your head. Only to find the others stood there laughing with Jimmy or at me, I’m not sure.

Jimmy drops me outside the bathroom door, still wobbly on my feet after being hung up side down for 5 minutes.

All five faces go silent and look at me. Senga eyes grow wide, but keep focused on me, Jimmy scratches the back of his neck, and points at my crotch.

Oh fucking shit, I have a rock hard cock, for the whole fucking world to see, that’s just fucking great. Jimmy’s face turns pink, as Matt nudges Senga and sends her a don’t-even-think-about-a-threesome-girl-cause-it-ain’t-gunna-happen glare. Making her smile and whisper something in his ear that makes him remove the glare.

I try to play it cool, hiding the embarrassment.

“What? Haven’t you ever seen morning glory before?” I add a smirk for the added effect. Brain clears his throat.

“Erm.. Just get washed and ready we‘re going to the beach, don’t worry about Alex, he’s already bathed and dressed, he’s downstairs with Zack watching cartoons,” Brian spoke, knowing I was bound to ask where my son was sooner or later.

“Sometimes I don’t know which one’s the kid, the way Zack goes on about Spongebob and how Patrick is awesome,” Brain continues, doing his best impersonation of Zacky. Which makes us all laugh.

15 minutes later, I’m dressed and ready to go, I decided to leave my t-shirt off, showing off my tanned and toned torso, slick with sun cream shimmering in the light. God! Looks and sounds like I’m doing a fucking commercial.

I hope to get Jimmy’s attention, which I do, a small smile on his pink lips before he turns back to the TV. I have dark faded blue, hung low jeans, my red swimming trunks visible to see at the top and some thrown on pair of sandals. I’m quite satisfied I look hot.

When I walk into the living room, I see Matt sat on sofa chair having a conversation with his long-term girlfriend of 4 years, Senga, on his lap. Everyone knows he’s cock-whipped which we constantly take the piss for.

It just shows how much he loves her, the way he smiles when she walks into a room or how when they have a fight, he‘s the first to apologise with a DVD and box of chocolates in hand. From knowing Matt since we were kids Matt never used to apologise.

Before they got together Matt was kind of a lose canon, reckless and a workaholic, now he’s happier, calmer but most important he’s in love. Something we all want to have.

Something I want with Jimmy.

On floor lays Brian with his head on Zacky’s lap while colouring with Alex. When these two first got together which was just after the realise of City of Evil, no-one thought they would last, I didn’t think they would last.

I thought they were an odd couple. They were constantly fighting, or forever having sex, I never once saw them having a conversation, then around 7 months ago Zacky walked into the living room, with a ring on his finger, 2 months later they were married. I’ve never seen them happier and so in love.

Something I dream of doing with Jimmy. Official be his.

Then at the other side of the room, spread out on the sofa lays Jimmy.

He's wearing a white Syns t-shirt that Brian made him buy, 3 quarter black shorts with skulls on the pockets, hanging from them are 2 chains and around the waistband I can just about see 3 different belts.

I stand there watching his steel blue eyes transfixed on the TV. You may wonder what’s so special about Jimmy, well I could write a book full, but I wouldn’t bore you with the details.

Firstly Jimmy’s gay too, while in high school me and the guys were sat at our normal table under the tree in the yard. When Jimmy blurts out, ‘I’m gay,” I think he was more worried about Matt’s reaction most, but Matt being Matt was cool about it, saying something in the lines of “that’s okay dude, as long as your dick doesn’t come near my ass, then were fine. I still love you man.”

Not even two minutes later we’re all confessing we’re gay to Matt too.

Anyway back to the present, Jimmy is kind, sensitive, talented, funny, I could go on, he has an amazing body, he’s tall, skinny but it fits him perfectly. He has these steel blue eyes that have a mystery behind them, that leaves you wanting to know what’s behind them; what’s he thinking? What’s he going to do? But most of all, will he ever love me like I love him?

His Jet black hair short and spiked at the back and long at the front falls perfectly over his face complimenting his features. His lush pink lips, that part slightly when in deep concentration, or how he plays with his tongue bar when he’s nervous or uncomfortable. Oh how I wish to feel his lips on mine, or how his tongue would work against mine for control, if only!

The way he stirs his coffee two times clockwise and four times anti-clockwise having it really milky, so not to burn his throat. The way he wears 3 belts just so its an odd number as he hates even things. He hates being organised as he says it’s time consuming, and that we have Zack the clean freak who will do it anyway.

Reliving what I love about him, makes me ache inside knowing that at the moment, he's not mine, and it hurts.

Okay well since I kind of basically gave you a life story of my band members, I will give you one of mine.

I’m Jonathan Lewis Seward or Johnny to my friends. I’m 23yrs old, and a single parent to a little 3 and a half year old boy called Alexander Lee Seward. But most of all I’m lonely.

I wouldn’t label myself a single parent as I have 6, including Senga, amazing best friends that help me out when I need them with no questions asked. It’s like we’re one big family and I love knowing my baby will grow up being surrounded by love, care and music.

Ever since I joined Avenged Sevenfold, I had everything I wanted; money, boys, alcohol, best friends, most of all I had the life I dreamed of.

When I gave birth to Alex, my respective of life changed, I settled down, became a father, I stopped drinking but not completely. I was happier then I was before. It showed me everything I took for granted, but know matter how happy I was, there was always something missing. Mr. Right.

I hate the feeling of being lonely. I’m jealous and envious of what my friends have. People say you can’t miss something, if you’ve never had it, but I do.

I miss coming home from the studio stressed out and tired and having no arms wrap around me and listen as I complain and bitch about the bad day I had. I miss waking up to a face that I could look at forever and watch them sleep instead of something other than a cold empty pillow.

I miss arguing with the person I love, knowing that we’re only fighting because we care, and the make-up sex we will have later.

But most of all I miss the small things, like cuddling after a long day with a movie, or waking up to morning breath only to smile and kiss them good morning. Holding hands as you walk to shops, knowing you have what makes you happy by your side.

I hate not having that!

Then one day, Jimmy offered to baby-sit Alex while I took a much needed alcoholic break, I came home only having little to drink and I’m glad I did, or I would have forgotten the image I saw and the feelings I had. Alex was asleep on Jimmy’s chest, while he sung him a lullaby, right then I got a pain in my heart. I found the reason my life wasn’t complete.

I snap out of my train of thoughts and back to reality.

“Hey guys, we ready to go?” I ask, making them jump in surprise.

“Daddy,” Alex giggles and run towards me. I pick him up and kiss his ink coloured cheek from the felt-tip pens.

The others get up grab their beach gear and walk out the door and into the sun. I’m struggling to carry Alex who refuses to walk and his carry bag. When Jimmy offers out his long hands to hold Alex, I accept his offer and hand over Alex. Walking into the bright light of the sun, I see Alex’s face snuggle into Jimmy’s neck.

I’m starting to think Alex loves Jimmy’s company as much as I do. I smile excitedly as we all start off the walk to the beach, for a day of fun. I walk close by Jimmy. Pretending that this is our family.

One scented hoodie.

2011-11-09T21:39:51Z

Title: One scented hoodie.
Author: lauradeth
Pairing: Brian/Johnny [A7X]
Rating: Fluff
POV: 3rd
Summary: “I sleep better when it smells of you. I like having you all around me,” He said in a hushed voice.
Disclaimer: I'm a boy, I'm gay and I'm having an affair with Zacky V. Not true!
Author Notes: I haven't had any inspiration lately. But this just came to me while wearing my A7X watchingLive in the LBC.
Beta: None, but proof read about 4 times.
Warnings: Swearing.

“Give it!”

“I said no!”

“I want it,”

“And I told you no Johnny!” Brian said sternly and pulled the offending item out of his lover’s tight grip. Johnny reluctantly let go his hands falling to his side.

“But I want to wear it,” he murmured quietly and bit his lip. He forced back the sting in his eyes, without looking up he whined loudly and turned on his heel storming off up the stairs towards their bedroom and slammed the door shut with more force than necessary, letting the culprit downstairs know, he was royally hacked off.

“It needs washing Johnny, you’ve wore it to bed nearly all week. I won’t be surprised if bugs are making a home in it!” He shouted after the retreating man, wincing as he heard the door slam, “fuck it.”

Brian groaned and rubbed his temples harshly as he automatically began to follow his upset boyfriend, he shoved the material under his arm and took the stairs two at a time. Once he reached the bedroom he raised his hand to the door and knocked softly, he knew from previous experience and a scar on his head from the TV remote, that entering without Johnny’s say so, was a very bad idea.

“Johnny, baby. Can I come in? I have the hoodie,” he said softly, speaking to the door and offering the material under his arm as a peace offering.

He smirked to himself, when he heard footsteps on the padded carpet coming closer. He looked up as the door opened and Johnny’s head appeared around the door, his body blocking any further entrance into the room.

Johnny’s face was slightly flushed and his eyes were red, Brian instantly knew Johnny had been crying and guilt washed over him in volumes. His hair was also messed up, probably from hiding under the blankets. In his opinion, Johnny looked beautiful and damn right hot.

Johnny looked at Brian but only for a split second as he dropped his gaze to the hoodie Brian held out towards him, he slowly extended his arm and brought it to his chest, digging his nose into the warm, scented material, “Thank you,” he whispered and opened the door fully, allowing Brian into his own bedroom, he shuffled his way back to the bed and laid the hoodie on his lap. He lifted his eyes to Brian’s as a silent invitation.

Closing the bedroom door, Brian walked over and sat beside Johnny wrapping his arm around the smaller one’s shoulder and pulled him against his chest; he sighed and placed a chaste kiss to Johnny’s mattered hair, brushing back the soft locks that rebelled.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to make you cry. Can you forgive your mean boyfriend?” He asked softly against Johnny’s ear as his fingers played idly with the locks of hair at the nape of his neck.

Johnny sighed against Brian’s rising chest, content at listening to the beating heart and the caressing motion in his hair, “I forgive you and you’re not mean. I just wanted to wear it for bed, again,” he explained softly, fiddling with the hem of Brian’s t-shirt.

“Why won’t you let me wash it? You can wear it again tomorrow.”

Johnny shook his head, causing Brian to frown, he answered quietly, “It’s cold out, and it keeps me extra warm when I’m snuggled with you and... It smells like you.”

Brian struggled to hear the last few words, yet still heard them clearly. He squeezed Johnny affectionately and lifted his chin to capture his lips in a lingering kiss.

Johnny whimpered when the kiss ended but blushed at Brian’s gaze, “what?” He asked, trying to avoid his eyes.

“Do you have to say things like that?” He asked rhetorically with a mock sigh, “it makes it harder for me to say no,” he said with a soft chuckle.

Johnny using this to his advantage buried his head further into Brian’s chest, “I sleep better when it smells of you. I like having you all around me,” he said in a hushed voice.

Brian smiled and scrunched up his nose and removed Johnny from his arms. He stripped himself of his trousers and moved under the blankets, keeping on his t-shirt as the weather was turning a bit cold this month, rather than it’s usually hot nights.

“Put it on then, and come join me,” he said finally giving in.

Johnny grinned and hurriedly pulled on the hoodie and ridding himself of his skinny jeans, before rushing to huddle against Brian’s body underneath the heavy blanket, “thanks,” he murmured.

As Johnny settled himself against Brian’s side, the older man kissed his head and tugged the blankets tighter around them, cocooning them in warmth.

“I love you and you look totally hot in my hoodie but tomorrow, I’m going to wash that thing. But I’ll wear it after, so it smells like me then give it back to you, to sleep in,” he promised, dropping a kiss to his head, he closed his eyes hoping to find some sleep.

Johnny held back his protest when Brian promised to wear it and gave a muffled ‘love you’ against the hoodie sleeve. He closed his eyes and followed Brian into a fitful calm sleep.

Myth: How wolf shifters came to be.

2011-04-13T19:06:03Z

My little myth on how wolf shifters came to be. (For an RP.)

Nobody knows how shifters came to be but there’s a myth that has been passed down through generations.

A man called Nathaniel became a possessive and jealous man and murdered his lover when he suspected her of loving another man and buried her beneath the moon. The moon saw everything and became red with rage. One night she avenged the woman’s life by turning the man into a savage wolf.

Nathaniel was powerless to the spell the moon held over him, he became insane and mad, ruining everything in his path. The moon watched over him and saw the longing and pain inside his heart and during one nightmare she found what she’d be searching for; the reason behind his possessive nature. Unable to undo the spell she created, she visited him one night in his reoccurring nightmare and offered him two choices: Die or Fall in love.

Months later, while hunting for food, he heard laughing. Hiding in shade he spotted a couple a man and a woman having a picnic in the sunshine. He watched them intently and his heart ached with loss. As he was about to leave he heard a gasp, they had seen him. Instead of running he slowly approached them, they didn’t recoil at his emerald eyes, the claws peeking out below his pads and they didn’t run when he curled his lips and revealed his sharp teeth. The woman held out her hand and waited, Nathaniel crept closer and stopped inches away from her outstretched palm. He sat and waited he never expected the gentle touch of her hand on his fur.

These picnics continued and each time they welcomed him from the shadows. It became a regular thing and it was the only joy Nathaniel looked forward to every few days. Then one sunny day things changed. The man came alone. He knew that he would not see the woman again and offered as much comfort to the man as he could, the man’s name was Connor.

Years went by and by now Nathaniel was staying in the man’s cottage sharing his bed as companions and for once, he didn’t feel alone, he felt safe, loved. The next morning, as the sun greeted them through the window he saw his reflection. Connor’s eyes met his through the mirror and no words needed to be spoken.

Nathanial will never be human again, but never will he be wolf either. That morning he became a shifter, a mortal creature that could roam the earth as animal and man. The wolf that shares his spirit will always be there to remind never to return to his old ways and that love doesn’t need to be seen or heard to exist.

Fiction.

2010-10-30T16:37:38Z

Title: Fiction
Author: littlepluto
Pairing: Past Matt/Jimmy
Rating Overall: PG-13
POV: 3rd
Summary: A band member loses his best friend and lover, an insight to one of his bad days.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I make no profit from it. I merely enjoy writing.
Beta: winginblood. Thank you!
Warnings: None
Author Notes: This is NOT a death fic. I wrote this on the train the day before I went to see Avenged Sevenfold. I'm proud of this piece because I never thought I'd have the strength to finish it.

It was the last day in the studio; the album was complete and today was all about adding the finishing touches and then it would be ready to hand over to management for advertising and press. The others had left a little while earlier, leaving the guys time alone to have moment to... not savour but remember because this may be the last time they create music as Avenged Sevenfold. Three of the band members had decided to mess about with left over vocals and some of Brian’s goofy solos, turning them into completely ridiculous rhythms, and recreated auto tuned moments from their last album. Matt had isolated himself and was sneaking off to the back room with his old Walkman CD player. Earlier he had copied Jimmy’s vocals from his studio at home and the finished product, Fiction, from the computer here.

The door closed with a soft click. He was hoping he had time to have a moment of vulnerability and weakness before the guys noticed he was missing and decided to go looking for him. He crossed the room, which was mainly used for relaxing and playing video games and occasionally as a dining room. Shuffling right into the far corner in the room, he slouched down the painted wall until he was settled with his back against the wall, his knees pressed to his chest and chin resting upon them. He let out a long sigh followed by a small puff of air, trying to calm his shaking hands. After he placed the buds into his ears and popped the CD into his Walkman his finger hovered over the play button. With a final nod to himself he pressed play and turned up the volume to block out any other sound that might dare ruin this private moment.

Matt felt his heart clench and tighten when the sound of tangled strings and piano flowed through the speakers, soon turning into a soft melody. Having heard this part many times before he found himself humming along. He closed his eyes and tilted his head so his cheek rested comfortably on his knees as the rhythm sung to his body. His teeth grazed over his bottom lip and nipped lightly, hoping to stop the tears that threatened to fall when the voice of his lover started to sing through the earphones.

A pathetic sob escaped and he brought his fist to his mouth to silence any more sounds that would lead his bandmates to where he was currently hiding. Matt’s fingers skimmed over the stop/pause button but he forced himself to listen to the song even though every word that his lost love sung pierced his heart and brought back the pure, raw emotion of his loss. He felt his first tear fall and create a trail down his cheek, when Jimmy’s voice joined his. They always worked so well together, his mixed range and Jimmy’s high sensitive voice blending together in perfect harmony. After the first tear, the rest quickly followed and showed no signs of stopping.

Throughout the song his tears never stopped and his body tried to console itself by making a rocking motion as the shaking became almost intolerable. Matt collapsed onto his side, like a small child, and curled himself into the foetal position, finding the position comforting and safe. His fist left his mouth and instead clutched his t-shirt right over where his heart belonged and gave in to the whimpers and sobs that escaped his throat, loudly.

He didn’t hear the knock or the door opening and he didn’t hear Brian’s voice asking if he was okay. With his eyes still closed he didn’t even see the bodies walking closer but he felt three pairs of familiar hands lift him gently and carefully back into a sitting position. He tried to smile and hide his emotions but it didn’t quite make the corners of his mouth turn, but the guys knew, they always did and they always understood.

Brian sat beside him and curled his arm around his shoulders. Matt felt compelled to lay his head in the curve of Brian’s neck, comforted by a kiss to his forehead. On his other side, Zack followed Brian’s lead and Matt felt his hand slip around his waist and caress his side in slow circles, easing his shaking body. When Johnny’s took his place beside Zack, his hand joined in from behind Zack’s neck and rested comfortably on Matt’s nape, his fingers drawing patterns on the skin. Matt knew that he’d be okay as long as he had these three amazing people, his brothers, in his life. He knew he could eventually move forward and maybe one day make music as Avenged Sevenfold again.

Jimmy’s final words reached his heart and gave him the push that he needed and the strength he craved to move forward without him by his side.

So tell everybody who wants to walk beside me, yeah. I know you’ll find your own way when I’m not with you tonight.

Photographs

2010-09-28T22:45:37Z

Title: Photographs
Author: littlepluto
Pairing: Matt/Jimmy
Rating: PG
POV: 3rd
Summary: “Even cheesy MySpace ones?”
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I make no profit from it. I merely enjoy writing.
Beta: winginblood. Thank you!
Warnings: Swearing.
Author Notes: I based the story around the time leading up to Jimmy's death but it is NOT a death fic.

Matt groaned when he heard another click. Glaring at Jimmy he held his hand over his face, hiding from the camera that was being shoved in his face, “I swear if you take one more picture,” he warned, trying to keep the smile from breaking out into dimples.

Jimmy just grinned and snapped another picture, quickly moving back when Matt reached out to pinch the camera he’d grown to love, “but you look good in pictures. You’re very photogenic,” he said with a whine.

When Matt pursed his lips and placed his hands on his hips then looked down, Jimmy couldn’t help but capture it on camera. He loved taking pictures of Matt because no matter what he was doing or wearing, he looked stunning and his facial features were the best. You could capture every one, even the blank look.

Matt sighed, silently giving in, and sat down on the picnic blanket they’d brought with them to the lake and began to take out the food.

“Sit. We’ll eat and then you can take as many pictures as you like,” he told Jimmy softly and grabbed his hand to guide him down onto the blanket.

“Even cheesy MySpace ones?” Jimmy asked as he picked up a grape and grazed it across Matt’s bottom lip.

Matt parted his lips and let the grape slide into his mouth, nipping at Jimmy’s finger tip with his teeth, “even cheesy photos,” he promised and fed Jimmy a grape of his own.

Jimmy stacked his plate with a mixture of the fruit and sandwiches that Matt’s mother had prepared for them, while Matt stacked his with cheese biscuits, strawberries and a chicken sandwich. Jimmy couldn’t stop himself and lifted the camera of his chest and took a shot of Matt popping a strawberry into his mouth.

Matt stopped mid chew and sent Jimmy a warning look, but couldn’t stop the smirk that wanted to break out for long and stuck his tongue out. He wiped his hands on a napkin and curled his index finger at Jimmy.

Jimmy frowned but shuffled closer, “what?” he asked suspiciously.

“Camera. Give me the camera,” Matt told him, holding his hand out for it.

Jimmy looked at him with wide eyes before glancing at the camera around his neck. He slipped it off and handed it to Matt with suspicious eyes, “careful,” he said softly as he handed over his baby.

Matt switched the camera on and leaned forward to kiss Jimmy’s mouth softly, “smile,” he whispered as he lifted the camera with one hand.

Jimmy caught the flash of the light as their eyes met and bit his lip, “thanks,” he murmured and gave Matt a quick kiss.

Matt moved back and wrapped the camera back around Jimmy’s neck, settling it gently on his chest, “you’re welcome, baby,” he smiled and pecked his lips.

After the picnic where they, meaning Jimmy, spent most of the time messing with the camera taking pictures of them together and random shots of Matt with food in his mouth, Matt linked his fingers with Jimmy’s as they walked along the edge of the pond, burning off the food they had stuffed themselves with. Jimmy smiled and squeezed Matt’s hand as he rested his head against Matt’s, causing their movement to slow down further to accommodate the new arrangement.

Jimmy sighed softly as the peace and quiet surrounded them. It was nice to be away from all the fuss and just spend time getting to know each other all over again. When they were on tour it was about having fun and performing, making the kids happy but even he, the great party animal, can admit that some days he just wants to have picnics and go for a walk in the park with Matt.

“I like this,” he said close to Matt’s ear and in return he could feel Matt’s smile brush against his jaw.

Matt hummed and craned his neck to press a chaste kiss to the underside of Jimmy’s jaw. His eyes roamed over the water, watching the ducks wash themselves as a couple of small children threw bread into the water and he wondered if they thought of them as stallion ducks, smiling fondly at the memory.

“What you smiling at?” Matt heard Jimmy whisper in his ear.

He shook his head and brought Jimmy’s hand to his lips, “just thinking that’s all.”

Matt looked up when he felt Jimmy pull away from him and found Jimmy fiddling with the camera again. He chuckled when Jimmy looked at him and grinned. The camera blocked some of his face as Jimmy raised it up and took a photo of the rare smile only he saw.

Matt had stopped wondering why Jimmy had suddenly become obsessed with taking pictures of them, he was just glad that he got to spend quality time with his boyfriend away from the chaos.

Jimmy looked at the new picture of Matt on viewing screen of his camera and ran his thumb over the visible dimples. Shutting off the camera, he rejoined Matt and slid his arm around his waist, "so,” he started, “any chance of some sexy photos later?” He laughed when Matt’s only reply was a wink.

Christmas soon arrived and everyone had gathered round at Zack’s house for the swapping of presents and Christmas dinner. Everyone was laughing and joking and even a few embarrassing secrets were revealed too. Soon it was time for the gift swap. Everyone gathered in the living room, those who couldn’t squeeze onto the sofa took to the floor or borrowed chairs from the dining room and the lazy ones just stood. Band members swapped presents first. Matt blushed bright red when Jimmy pretended to demonstrate the black whip the guys had bought them. Matt sent them all glares but relaxed back into Jimmy’s arms when he settled back on the floor.

They had bought the other guys free scuba diving lessons for when the album was finished, almost a double gift.

Matt received a skull chain with his initials on the back from Jimmy; he let Jimmy put it on, feeling the silver heavy against his tattooed skin. Matt had had a hard time deciding on what to get Jimmy, it got harder every year, but about a week earlier he had found the perfect gift. Well he thought it was perfect.
.
Jimmy ripped off the wrapping paper like, well, a kid on Christmas morning. He looked at the black box in his hands a moment before slowly opening it. Inside was a locket with a black garnet skull and crossbones design covering the front. Jimmy lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Matt’s neck, “thank you,” he whispered.

Matt brought Jimmy into an embrace and kissed his neck, “look at the back.”

Jimmy removed himself from Matt and turned over the lockets, he bit his lip and smiled; Like photographs, my love for you is forever, Matt.

Handing the locket to Matt, he turned his back to him, “put it on me please,” he asked softly, his voice filled with certain emotions.

Matt clipped on the necklace and kissed the back of Jimmy’s neck. When the moment passed he realised they were still with friends and family and smiled sheepishly.

By the end of the night, everyone was pretty drunk and having a good time and when it was time to head home he was surprised Jimmy could still think clearly. They hurried home, laughing and chatting as they walked. Matt Pushed the front door closed as they stumbled in, catching Jimmy before he could send them falling to the floor and led him upstairs, intent on thanking him properly for his gift.

It was about 3am and they were both worn out and royally fucked. Jimmy lay with his head on Matt’s chest, listening to his heartbeat while his eyes watched Matt’s stomach rise and fall from his still uneven breathing.

He was relaxed and calm, he felt his eyes fluttered shut as he felt Matt’s fingers idly wander through his hair and massage his skull. He hummed in content then remembered the book under the bed.

Matt frowned as Jimmy shifted, not liking that their moment had past. As he watched Jimmy kneel and remove something from under the bed, curiosity over took him and he sat up against the headboard. Jimmy moved to lie against him and handed him the shine wrapped present.

“I wanted to save this till we were alone, I forgot until now,” Jimmy explained softly and watched Matt gently peel away the paper and uncover a worn looking book.

Matt’s fingers caressed the cover and then opened it up. “Jimmy,” he breathed as his eyes scanned over every photo covering the pages.

The photos were of Matt and Jimmy through the years of their friendship and subsequent partnership. He turned to the next page and again he found more photos, newer ones this time from Jimmy’s own camera.
“Do you like it?” Jimmy asked nervously.

“If you don’t, it’s okay, it’s only a photo album.” He smiled weakly trying to pass it off.

Matt snorted and brought Jimmy into a passionate kiss, “I fucking love it, how did you manage to find time to do all this?” He asked in amazement.

Jimmy bit his lip and helped Matt turn the pages delicately, “I did parts of it when you were messing with vocals or locked in the office working on lyrics. I wanted you to have something forever that reminds you of our shared life and love. I want you to remember me. Us,” he expressed softly.

Matt fondly touched some of the photos, gently so as not to leave prints or marks and so ruin the carefully put together book. He turned the last page and saw that Jimmy had written something on the inside back cover.

Matt,
You are the most amazing man I have ever met. Until I met you, I had no purpose in life. I wanted to be a rock star and see the world and you made that happen. We became the best of friends, later lovers, and I have never regretted one single moment with you. You loved me freely with no expectations or demands. You showed me how to love in return and I will spend the rest of my life showing you how grateful and happy you have made me.

When it’s time for us to part, either together or alone, this will remain and whoever finds it will know that our love was strong and that we were deeply in love with each other. As time passes, our life, our love, will live on in these memories and I know that we will be reunited again. I love you with every inch of my being.
Yours always, Jimmy.

Matt fought back tears as he closed the book and put it on the bedside table. He pulled Jimmy fully into his arms and Jimmy clung on just as tightly,

“I love you too,” Matt whispered and pulled Jimmy down so they were laid in each other’s arms and that’s how they fell asleep, ending a perfect Christmas.

Pretty

2010-09-25T01:38:51Z

Title: Pretty
Author: littlepluto
Pairing: Brian/Johnny
Rating: Fluff
POV: 3rd
Summary: Johnny cringed when he heard the front door slam shut. Fuck!
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I make no profit from it. I merely enjoy writing.
Beta: winginblood. Thank you!
Warnings: Swearing.
Author Notes: It started out as boredom to pass the time on the way to Grimsby. It's quite short and as I write this there's a Jimmy/Matt fic is in the making.

“Can I have some, please?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because they’re for girls.”

“You’d buy Michelle some.”

“My point exactly, she’s a girl.”

Johnny snorted, “hardly.”

“That’s not very nice.”

“Well it’s true. So get me some?”

Brian raised an eyebrow and smirked, “give me one good reason why I should?” He requested.

Johnny shrugged and looked away, shuffling his feet a little before lifting his eyes to Brian and giving him his best kicked puppy look, “I don’t know. Maybe because you love me?” He said hopefully with a grin.

“You know I do and you know I think you’re the sexiest man alive,” Brian replied, sliding one arm around Johnny’s waist and tilting his head to place a chaste kiss to his lips.

Johnny smiled and stood on his tiptoes so he could drape his arms over Brian’s shoulders. “I still want some,” he whispered, knowing Brian always used the ‘embrace’ to distract him.

Brian groaned and nodded before pulling away and glaring at the smirk on Johnny’s face, “fine. But tell anyone I bought them and I will deny everything then make your life a living hell,” he threatened and entered the shop with a sigh.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Johnny hummed as he finished preparing the meal while Brian went to change his clothes. He got out four plates, staring at them for a minute with a sad smile and then got the cutlery from the drawer and set them out on the table.

It was his and Brian’s turn to cook dinner and they had made their ‘speciality’ Chicken Korma with naan bread and poppadoms complete with spices. Hot and cool. He called the guys in, not surprised that Brian wasn’t back down yet.

Matt was the first to sit down and he frowned as he did sol “hey Johnny, why the fuck do you have those in your kitchen?”

Johnny gave him a confused look but turned to see what had caught Matt’s attention, “oh them? Brian got me ‘em,” he told him proudly with an amused smirk when he saw the shocked look on Matt and Zack’s faces.

“Hang on a minute, you mean our Brian?" Matt sputtered.

Johnny nodded,

“The Synyster Gates.”

Johnny nodded again.

“We are on about the same Brian Elwin Haner Jr, aren’t we?” Matt continued.

Johnny sighed, “yes that Brian. How many Brian Elwin Jrs do you know?”

“Just the one,” Matt went silent and scrunched his forehead like he was trying to find the solution to Global Warming.

Zack was the first to crack up like it was the funniest thing in the world, “oh god, I can’t believe it. Brian bought you fucking flowers?” He exclaimed with laughter and wiped the tear tracks away from his face with his knuckles.

Johnny took offence and crossed his arms with a pout and slumped himself in the chair, “yeah, so. What’s so wrong with him buying me flowers,” he replied with a huff.

Zack snickered, “nothing. Nothing at all Johnny,” he grinned and began to tuck into the food.

Too hungry to wait for his highness upstairs, Matt followed Zack’s lead and piled some sauce onto his place. Johnny watched them suspiciously before giving in.

Brian jogged down the stairs and took his place at the table. They ate in silence, nobody mentioning anything and enjoyed their meal. Johnny got up and went to get the apple pie out of the oven for dessert, which again went without a joke or sly comments.

It was about 9pm when Matt and Zack grabbed their jackets to leave, Johnny staying behind to wash the pots as Brian walked them to the door. Johnny had just put the last pot away when he heard Matt’s voice from the doorway, “oh and Brian, those pink Lilies are really pretty,”

Johnny cringed when he heard the front door slam shut. Fuck!

Guarded Dreams

2010-09-22T23:07:03Z

Title: Guarded Dreams.
Author: littlepluto
Pairing: Brian/Jimmy.
Rating: PG
POV: 3rd
Summary: Sometimes, when the wind wasn’t strong, he’d open the big window just enough to feel the droplets of water from the sea carried to him by the wind.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I make no profit from it. I merely enjoy writing.
Beta: winginblood. Thank you!
Warnings: None, I can think of.
Author Notes: I wrote this from my bedroom finding inspiration from the downpour outside and the sounds of Fiction coming through my stereo.

Brian sat on the window bench, staring out into the storm, watching the waves crash harshly against the rocks then slowly ebb away only to be forced into the rocks once more by the fierce wind that took over the evening sky. Black clouds loomed overhead, fading to grey as they parted into smaller shapes. If you looked closer you could see the hidden shapes waiting to be discovered and named. It was a sure sign that the storm had nearly passed. The sky was mostly clear of wildlife except for a few brave birds that flew under and between the clouds, sensing the change of air after they’d found shelter against the downpour of rain. The wind was violent but directed one way, letting the birds glide through darkened sky.

Brian loved storms, loved watching them from his warm bedroom window on a cushion his boyfriend had bought him just for that purpose so he could watch in comfort. Sometimes, when the wind wasn’t strong, he’d open the big window just enough to feel the droplets of water from the sea carried to him by the wind. He could smell the sea air and it brought him certain calmness. When they had come to view their house 2 years ago, they both we’re instantly drawn and found it perfect, matching their lives and personality. The storms that came never normally lasted more than a day and he’d done the same waiting game before, many times, but this storm had stayed strong for almost three weeks and this scared Brian deeply because out past the horizon was his lover.

Brian had first met Jimmy on one of the many beaches in Orange County. He’d been surfing the waves when he’d wiped out. He hadn’t cleared the board and rendered himself unconscious as it flipped up and struck his head. He woke up in the arms of the most beautiful man he’d ever seen and fell in love.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞Flashback∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Brian groaned as he lifted his hand to try and soothe the aching in his head but was stopped by a gentle hold around his wrist. He opened his eyes, his vision blurred and blinded by the sun. Squinting and focusing his vision, he looked to the person to whom the hand belonged to and felt the breath knocked out of his chest again.

“So the God of the sea finally returns to us,” the man said with a twitch of humour, “You had the whole team worried about you,” he informed Brain with a slight frown creasing his forehead.

Brian turned slowly to find a medic and the team of lifeguards hovering by the door, he gaze slowly returned to the blue eyed man, “What happened? I know I wiped but that’s it,” he asked. He knew the medic could tell him what happened but he wanted to hear the man speak again, as desperate as that sounded, but when he woke up with his head on the man’s lap, he felt... safe.

The guy smiled and that made Brian’s heart flutter in his chest. “I was just about to ride the next wave when I saw you go under. I waited to see if you came back up but when you didn’t I unstrapped and dived after you. I managed to cover you before another wave knocked the board into your face. The medic says you have a concussion but you’ll be fine,” he explained and darted his eyes to the door when it shut. They were alone.

Brian smiled thankfully. “Before I thank you for saving me life, I must know your name,” he asked with a little hesitation. When the guy laughed, Brian wondered if he was being laughed at, which made his face turn sour.

The man gave Brian a toothy grin and replied, “Jimmy, my name’s Jimmy.” The dark haired man, Jimmy, saw the look on Brian’s face and let his fingers trace over the frown on his face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to take offence. I merely wondered if this was the right time for you to take me out on date, you know seeing as I did save your life.” He smirked with a glint in his eye.

Brian relaxed and shivered under the touch when he knew Jimmy wasn’t laughing at him and so he played along. “That maybe true but you still don’t know my name,” Brian said with a smirk and bit his lip.

Jimmy snorted. “That’s easy, God of the sea. You’re Poseidon,” he beamed and Brian couldn’t help but return the smile, the thumping in his head still there but forgotten.

“No,” he chuckled and cautiously placed his hand over Jimmy’s that rested on and cupped his jaw. “It’s Brian,” he added softly.

Jimmy smiled and caressed his cheek with the pad of his thumb. "Hello Brian, and before you ask yes, I accept to go on a date with you,” he said, leaning in and letting their lips touch for the first time.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞end∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Brian sighed and touched his lips, letting himself linger on the memory made many years ago. He dropped his head to the cool glass, eyes roaming over the ocean for any sign of life. He knew it was pointless but his tired eyes never stopped looking.

When they’d moved here for Jimmy’s new job as a marine biologist, he was aware of the risks and would rather worry and hope Jimmy would return safely from trips than never give their relationship a chance. Jimmy’s job was just as dangerous as a cop or a fireman. Yes, they’re different but the dangers are still very real and Brian never stopped worrying or fearing for his lover’s safe return. No matter what happened he knew he made the right choice. After 6 wonderful years together how could he not? And he hoped for many more.

He tried to move away from the window but he couldn’t. He was too exhausted, too overcome with worry and heartache. He was scared that if he moved, if he stopped searching he’d be giving up on Jimmy and he’d vowed he never would. Body aching and head pounding, Brian battled with himself but finally gave in to the need of a shower and sleep.

He dried himself and slipped into some black silk boxers then walked slowly back to window and knelt on the cushion before pressing his lips to the glass. “G’night, baby. Keep safe, I love you,” he murmured with one last look at the clearing storm before slipping underneath cool, unused sheets.

He buried his face into the pillow and let out the first of many sobs. When the tears stopped falling, Brian reached over for Jimmy’s pillow, holding the scent of his lover close, “Guard my dreams?” He asked out loud but no answer came.

Brian tossed and turned as the nightmare took over him. His body shook and his voice protested with whimpers and small cries. His body desperately trying to wake him, but his mind would not let go.

He felt himself sinking further under, the surface getting further out of reach. The more he panicked the more he felt the tug around his body, he screamed and screamed but water filled his words. No one could hear him and no one could see him. He was going to be lost to the ocean, another prisoner trapped on the seabed.

The sun glared mockingly from her position in the sky, deceiving the people below as they basked in her warmth selfishly, unknowing of the damage she inflicts upon them every time her rays hit their skin. And even though sun screen is worn to protect, it’s no match for the cancer cells that may attack your body after she destroys your skin’s immune function.

Brian had felt her warmth the moment he hit the water but she deceived him. The water grew colder and sharper as his lungs fought to breathe and the water drew him in deeper. His throat burned and his head throbbed and his body weakened, his arms and legs giving in to a fatigue, his eyes starting to blur, and he felt the darkness of the seabed calling him, soothing him into eternal rest. He was ready. Suddenly warmth covered his face and his eyes opened.

Brian’s eyes shot open and stared into familiar blue ones. His chest heaved as he struggled to regain his breath. “Jimmy,” he panted, his mind trying to decide if the illusion was real.

When Jimmy nodded and shifted closer, bringing his lover into his arms, Brian clung to his bare skin, breathing in his scent as his breathing returned to normal. “I’m here, baby. Bad dream?” Jimmy asked, rocking them slightly and weaving his fingers into the messy locks of his boyfriend’s hair that was now damp with sweat.

Brian nuzzled his head into the curve of Jimmy’s neck and nodded quickly. He felt Jimmy’s arms tighten around him, instantly making him feel safe and the worry faded along with the fear. “I thought I’d lost you and you weren’t here to protect my dreams, so the nightmares came,” he whispered like a small child and placed a small kiss upon his lover’s handcuffs tattoo.

“The storm was really bad and knocked out all communication so we couldn’t contact the base or you to tell you we were okay. The boat took on a lot of water, but we managed to keep it afloat. I couldn’t sleep so I would lie in my bunk and think about you, I’d think about curling up in your arms, walking along the beach with you, kissing you, making love to you. I was so scared but I held on because I wanted to come home to you. I love you,” Jimmy confessed between mouthed kisses to his lover’s head, his spare hand exploring the naked skin on Brian’s back.

Brian listened intently and drew patterns along the ‘fiction’ tattoo that adorned his lover’s chest, hoping it would soothe him as Jimmy’s touched soothed him. “You’re home now,” he muttered against his skin then shifted so he could bring Jimmy into a slow, loved filled kiss, “I love you. Will you guard my dreams as I guard yours?” he questioned searching crystal blue eyes.

Jimmy turned them over so he was resting on his side, Brian safety tucked between his arms, his lips lingered over Brian’s ear as he whispered, only for Brian to hear, “Always.”

Fights & forever

2010-08-26T22:19:59Z

Title: Fights & forever.
Author: littlepluto
Pairing: Matt/Alex [Atreyu]
Rating: PG - 13
POV: 3rd
Summary: Alex launched the ‘K’ award, barely missing Matt’s head. Matt in a reflex stage tackled Alex to the floor and pinned his hands above his head.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I make no profit from it. I merely enjoy writing.
Beta: tyler_is_a_syn
Warnings: Swearing, mild violence and references to sex.
Authors Note: My writer's block finally lifted, and the words just flooded the page.

Matt loved touring. He loves spending everyday with his best friends and playing to millions of fans. He loves all the fans that support and encourage the band. He loves getting shit-faced and having one of the guys struggle to carry him back to the bus and the groupies that hang off his arm, knowing he gets the pleasure of rejecting them later for someone better back home. Matt loves touring, it’s that simple. But sometimes, he hated touring.

He hates being away from home and not being able to just go down to the beach and relax. He hates not been able to cuddle upon his giant ‘man’ sofa and watch films with surround-sound. He hates having to say goodbye to the man he loves and watching his eyes fill with tears, that refuse to fall until Matt leaves. He hates not being able to say ‘I love you’ into the other man’s ear, as they come down from their high just before Matt leaves for another 6 months.

This particular tour, Matt hated. Before he left to go pick up Zack, he and Alex had a massive argument that ended with things being thrown and hateful words spat between them. Matt couldn’t understand why Alex got so angry and upset, that after 5 years of doing this he wasn’t used to it. When Matt told Alex this, he got a mouth full of knuckles and blood.

Matt retaliated and swung a punch, connecting with Alex’s cheek. More fists flew, Matt’s new flat screen TV was now a mess of glass and plastic on the carpet, photo frames were broken and awards were used as weapons. Alex launched the ‘K’ award, barely missing Matt’s head. Matt in a reflex stage tackled Alex to the floor and pinned his hands above his head. He stopped suddenly when he saw the tears parade down Alex’s flushed red face.

Everything at that point didn’t matter, he’d never seen Alex like that before. Alex pushed Matt off and screamed at him to get out. Matt could hear Alex’s voice strain with over use and his heart broke when loud harsh sobs came from Alex’s trembling body on the floor. Matt didn’t know what to say or what to do, so he did the thing he knew how to do, he left.

4 weeks into the tour, Matt was miserable as hell. He snapped at anything and anyone, and refused to come out of his bunk to drink and play poker with the guys. Matt’s behaviour was affecting their performance; he messed up more and sang like it was routine. Matt didn’t think anybody noticed and hoped he got away with it. He did for the first few weeks, now the guys were pissed off and fed up with Matt, so they hatched a plan and sent Brian in, after doing rock, papers, sissors, Jack.

Matt was sulking in his bunk and continued to stare at the picture of him and Alex, he had pinned to the top. They were so happy when that photo was taken, Alex didn’t notice Jimmy snapping the picture as Matt nibbled at his neck making him giggle. It was the perfect picture. Matt sighed and trailed his thumb over Alex’s image. They’ve never had a fight like this before, that’s what scares him. He curled up on his side and tried to sleep, but like the nights before it didn’t come.

Brian stood outside Matt’s bunk, listening to him toss and turn, occasionally hearing a sigh. They knew Matt and Alex fought, they didn’t fight often but when they did, you knew about it and it was always resolved before Matt or Alex left. Brian knew, he knew that something was wrong and Matt being on tour and miles away from Alex was not helping. He opened up the curtain and was blocked by Matt’s back.

“What do you want, Brian?” Matt mumbled from where his face was buried in the pillow, Alex had bought him; one side was cotton and the other, silk. He knew how much Matt moaned and complained about being too hot or cold in bed so it seemed like the perfect gift, and it was. Matt never slept without it.

“How’d you know it was me?” Brian frowned and pushed at Matt, so he had room to perch his ass on the edge of the bunk, he rested his arm on Matt’s shoulder, he smiled when it wasn’t rejected.

Matt sighed and absentmindedly leaned into the hand, not able to resist the comfort it brought him, “You shuffle your feet when you’re impatient or nervous. I heard you,” he explained and fiddled with the pillow corner like a small child frightened or upset. “You still haven’t answered my question; what do you want?” He added, finally giving in and turning over to face Brian.

Brian looked at him sternly and out of habit, hit him in the shoulder,

“What was that for?” A shocked Matt asked, rubbing what would become a bruise, “Jesus.”

“Jesus won’t help you, you miserable fucker,” Matt glared and went to turn his back on Brian but another tattooed arm stopped him.

“Matt, we’re worried. You stay in your bunk, you never come out to hang with us and you’re phone hasn’t rung once. I thought you and ‘Lex always resolved your fights, before tour?” He asked shifting back to lean against the wall, letting Matt know he wasn’t going anywhere 'til he started talking.

“Talk to me, Matt,” he ordered with soft nudge.

Matt let out a aggitated sigh and moved into a slouching position, arms crossed almost as if he was defending himself, “he cried,” he whispered and looked at Brian, “We got erm physical and he fucking cried, and told me to leave. I’ve never seen him cry like that before, it scared me.” He confessed with a helpless look, scanning a quick look to the photo,

“I can’t even remember how it started,” he said quietly.

After a moment or two thinking over what Matt said, Brian nodded and answered, “go home, call him. Talk to him, Matt. For your sanity and ours. I bet he’s as miserable as you,” he climbed out the bunk with a squeeze to Matt’s shoulder, and left him to his thoughts.

Matt watched Brian leave before reaching for his phone, fingers skimming through the contacts, til Alex’s name appeared. He froze and hesitated on what he should do now, he scolded himself of what used to be a simply task of phoning his boyfriend. He growled in annoyance and decided to just get it over with. When Alex’s picture came on the screen, he lifted the phone to his ear and waited.

Curled up on the sofa at home was Alex. For weeks he’d stare at the phone hoping it would ring or that he would pluck up the courage and call Matt. After all, the fight was his fault. He can only remember screaming as he cried at Matt to leave. He was stupid, the fight was stupid, and now he was paying for it, and he knew Matt was too. The days passed like a routine always ending in front of TV with the phone by his head. When the phone rang, his heart jumped and his fingers fumbled.

“Hello?” He finally answered.

“Hey, ‘Lex,” Matt whispered, his throat tightening at the sound of Alex’s voice. It had been too long, “I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked, closing the curtain.

Alex shook his head, before remembering Matt couldn’t see him, Matt wasn’t there.

“No, you didn’t. I was just on the sofa,” he answered meekly and curled up into a ball, resting the phone against his ear, “I’m sorry, Mattie.”

Matt closed his eyes and held the phone tighter in his hand. He swallowed thickly and bit his lip, forcing away the urge to cry, “I’m sorry too, baby, I never meant to make you cry,” he tilted his head and brushed his fingers over the memory.

“It wasn’t you, I swear. I just, “ Alex groaned, not being able to find the right words. Matt sensed Alex’s frustration and waited patiently, if he wanted answers pushing him wouldn’t help.

“I hated that day. Things kept going wrong, I couldn’t write good lyrics and the guys kept pushing for reasons,“ he knew he was only telling Matt half the truth, he didn’t want Matt to think he was being silly or clingy.

Matt chuckled for the first time, hearing Alex’s attempt to avoid the real cause of the problem, “‘Lex baby, I know you better than that. What’s the real reason, talk me or there’s no point in this phone call is there,” he said, not really wanting to end the phone call.

Alex sighed and scrunched up his nose, he pressed his lips over the new healing tattoo on his wrist. The day before Matt left for tour, he went to his tattooist and got done a deathbat with the letter M scripted into it, it was going to be a suprise but then the fight happened.

Remembering Matt was still waiting patiently on the other end, he spilled, “my mom phoned me that morning, her and dad are getting a divorce, said she’d met someone else and that she didn’t love dad anymore," he replied blinking back the tears.

“I always thought they’d be together forever and I hoped that we would have a relationship like that. But I want you to love me, longer than forever, I don’t want you to leave more and find someone else, even if I’m gone. I know it’s selfish and silly, but you’re mine. It just overwhelmed me, you know,” he blurted out unable to stop himself once he started.

Matt who had now shifted to lay under the covers, couldn’t help the stupid grin that split across his face hearing Alex talk possessively over him. Though, he knew Alex would take his parents splitting badly, because it’s all a child wants to believe that their parents love each other and spend the rest of their lifes together just like a fairytale, but people do fall out of love.

“I’m sorry about your parents, ‘Lex. But that doesn’t mean it will happen to us, does it? We can learn from your parents and if they’re happier being apart what does it matter, ” he stated, trying to show both sides and comfort his boyfriend.

“If I’m yours, you know that means you belong to me too right?” Matt teased lightenly the mood and relaxing on his back. Alex snorted, “I hate it when you’re right and yes, I’m yours, always,” he muttered with a smile and traced the pattern on his t-shirt idly.

“I miss you and my hand hates you,” he whined. Upon hearing Matt’s barked laugh he pouted, “It’s not funny, my dick is miserable and lonely.”

Matt groaned through a laugh, “shit baby, I miss you too but saying things like that when I’m not there and can’t touch you is damn right evil.”

“Okay fine, but when you come home, you owe my dick an apology and a blowjob,” Alex pouted and palmed himself, stiffling a moan, “can you come home sooner?” He pleaded.

Matt’s cock twitched at the metal image of his mouth on Alex, he bit the inside of his cheek as he tried to adjust himself. He heard the guys laughing about something from the front of the bus and sighed, “I wish baby, but I gotta rebuild my reputation and grovel to the guys for being a moody asshole, the whole tour. “ He replied regretfully.

“But I promise to make it up to you in 6 weeks, in the meantime their’s always phone sex,” he smirked with a cocky tone.

Alex laughed and sat up, ready to sort himself out, “okay, it’s a promise. Phone me tonight then, after you’ve made it upto the guys,” he said standing, heading upstair for a shower.

Matt shivered hearing Alex’s laugh, something else he’d missed since he’d left, “I will, I love you, bye.”

After hearing Alex’s ‘love you too’ he hung up but continued to stare at the ceiling with a grin. When more laughter came from the front of the bus, he decided it was time to stop being a miserable bastard and go have fun watching the guys do something crazy.

So yeah, Matt loved touring especially when he knew that after weeks of travelling he’d be back home, ‘making it up’ to his boyfriend.

Notes.

2010-01-15T22:24:15Z

Title: Notes
Author: littlepluto and aella_freya
Pairing: Matt [Senga] / Jacoby [Me]
Rating: PG. Swearing, and mentions of sex.
POV: 3rd. Matt's in green and Jacoby's in plain text.
Summary: Sometimes I smile when you're clumsy’
Disclaimer: I dont own them. Only the plot.
Author Notes: This was the first RP I ever did with aella_freya. I'm sorry that it's real messy. The grammer is awful, but readable and there are a few spelling mistakes. This RP was done over MSN. Hope you like it anyway.
BETA: None.

Role play.

• Matt Sanders – aella_freya.
• Jacoby Shaddix - littlepluto.

Walking into work with his head hung low, Coby paced, almost robotically to his desk, where he'd been working for the past 6 months. He greeted his co-worker the same way he always has, with a small nod of his head, placing his self into the leather chair, Coby pulled out a pen and a neon green post stick note.

Matt Sighed as he watched Jacoby walk in, he had been doing the same since he started, but had yet to work up more courage to ask him out, the only things he could ask was about work. "Hey," He said when the other nodded at him he stood and walked to the office kitchen for his morning coffee.

Coby had been staring at the same blank note for over fifteen minutes, lifting his head to watch Matt stroll back to his desk with a steamy hot coffee place between his fingers, 2 sugars and a drop of milk. How did he know? He made Matt a cup once, had it memorized ever since. Putting pen to paper, Coby wrote six words.

Matt began his work for the morning, filing peoples’ information, and requests, when his phone rang, after a brief conversation he hung up and cursed, the boss wanted to see him, and he didn’t know if it was good or bad. He quickly drunk down his coffee he stood, his chair going too far back it hit into Jacoby's, "shit, sorry man..." He said moving it back into place before he headed to the bosses off office.

Jacoby suddenly turned round when something hit the back of his chair, hard. Confusion covered his face when Matt apologised and walked off. A small sigh left his lips while watching Matt's fine ass in black slacks. He noticed this was the perfect time to but his plan into action, lifting himself out of the chair he walked over to Matt's tidy desk, thinking of a place to put the note. Going for the obvious place he stuck it, in the middle of the computer screen, before he turned and walked out of the room picking up his filing on his way out.

Matt smiled as he walked out of the bosses office, turns out he just wanted to congratulate Matt on his work, that it had gotten better, however once at his desk he frowned, there was a note on his screen, picking it off he read it.

’Sometimes I smile when you're clumsy’

He giggled slightly before writing one back, he knew it was from Jacoby, he had seen enough of his writing to know, with a smirk he walked over to the empty desk and stuck it to the other’s screen.

Jacoby raced back to his desk to see if Matt had seen the note, he was surprised to see a note of his very own stuck to his screen. Trying not to hyperventilate, he sat down taking a deep breath before he pulled off the note. How? How could Matt have known it was him? He wasn't even in the room. He told himself it's just a coincidence, it's not from Matt, and it’s from another co-worker. But Matt, how?

‘I smile eveytime you come into the room'

Matt glanced back at Jacoby before he got on the phone to the next person on his list for the day, waiting to see the others reaction.

Coby ducked his head trying to hide the massive grin splitting his cheeks, slyly pulling out another post-stick note onto his diary page, so it looks as though he's writing an entry. His shaky fingers began to write, a small smile replaces the grin when he's proud of what he’s written, and closing his diary he begins typing away at unfinished spreadsheets, just waiting for another opportunity.

Once finished the call he stood once more, "hey. Want a coffee or something?" He asked tapping the other’s shoulder, since they shared a cubical.

Shocked was the only look he could come up with, Matt was talking to him, like actually talking to him, he stuttered "I..." remembering the note, "yeah... yeah okay. 1 sugar, loads of milk."

After watching Matt disappear into the kitchen, he grabbed the hidden note, speed walking to Matt desk, sticking the note in the same place before. He power walked back to his desk, but not before stumbling over his feet, just made it back to his chair when he heard the milk being placed in the fridge.

Matt smiled as he walked into the kitchen, thinking of how cute the other had looked as he stuttered his acceptance, Matt he found it flattering. Once he had the coffees ready he walked back in, smirking he spotted the note, holding back a giggle he handed the coffee over to Jacoby sitting down he picked the note off his computer again.

’I giggle when you stick your tongue out in concentration’

Peering over his computer to see Matt's reaction, he quickly looks back to the screen before Matt's honey eyes meet his. He smiles a little and carries on typing.

Matt couldn’t help but giggle softly, he then took a breath and turned around, "Jacoby, can I ask you something?" He said softly before taking a sip of his own drink, he needed the extra boost for what he was about to ask.

Jacoby spun round on hearing his name, "huh? yea, I guess so," scratching the back of his neck, nervous habit.

"Well, are you doing anything tonight? I mean we have worked together for what, like 6 months and I don’t really know you, I think it’s only right we going drink or something," he said , he kept glancing down not really wanting to see the others reaction.

"Yes," he said far too quickly, great way to subtle he scolded himself, "I mean yeah, okay. Sounds cool, only... I'm trying to stay sober. But we still could go, just 'cause I don't drink doesn't mean you can't, I don't preach or anything."

Stop fucking rambling he told himself but his mouth has a mind of its own, "that's if you still want to, of course."

Matt chuckled softly and looked back at the other, "that’s fine with me Coby... I mean Jacoby," Matt said blushing hoping the other didn’t mind the name.

"It's not like I’m asking you out to get you drunk and I only like a little drink, not to get rat assed just to get happily drunk," he said smiling.

Coby giggled at the nickname, "you can call me Coby, I prefer it only my mum and my boss call me Jacoby, I like Coby better, especially you saying it," blushing bright red at the slight confession.

"And I'll happily carry your drunk ass home, that's if I have to not that I’m suggesting you got to take me to yours, just in case you get drunk, but you just said you don't get drunk. So I won’t have to anyway. He rambles on stopping when he sees Matt smiling, dimples and all.

Matt couldn’t help the smile, turning to his desk he wrote out a note and handed it to Jacoby with a wink, waiting for the other to open it he smiled.

‘You’re so much cuter than ever when you ramble'

Taking the note Matt placed in his hand, he blushed even harder when he read it, "I'm sorry, I don't know I do it sometimes," Coby ducks his head shyly, cheeks still tinted pink picking up a pen he quickly wrote back on the same note handing it back to Matt.

’My mouth can do a lot more :)’

Matt smiled widely at that, "now now, I don’t need to know that," Matt said setting the note down, he winked then, "at least not right now," he added.

"Anyway back to work, shall we just head out after this?" He asked grinning, his dimples showing.

Laughing loudly Coby smiled showing his teeth, "you may not have a choice," he smirked, sending a wink Matt's way before turning back to his desk. Not seeing Matt's reaction.

The rest of the day, Matt couldn’t help but turn to glance at Jacoby's back, when he walked to the toilet he had to look, it was sexy, the way his ass moved, with a sigh he wrote another not while Coby was in the loo. He stuck it to the others computer desk.

'Oh, I might just get drunk so you can take me home...I won’t complain if you take advantage'

Walking back with an empty bladder, he sat back at his desk grinning when he saw a note, taking it off and grabbing one from the drawer, he wrote back.

'I might just do that, but wait, if you're drunk how will you manage being on top?'

Smirking he stood up walking straight over to Matt's desk leaning over sexually, eyes locking with Matt's he stuck the note to the screen, lips almost brushing, before he clambers back of the desk and walks out the room with a swagger in his hips. Tonight is gunna be fun, he tells himself.

Matt couldn’t move as he read the note, now only half an hour till the left he felt himself grow hard.

'I don’t fuck on a first date; however, I give great head'

He wrote sticking it to the others screen before he took their cups and returned them to the kitchen.

Coby walked back to his desk with arms filled with unfiled shit, his boss shoved at him, his good mood tempered with. Seeing a note, a grin removing his frown. Dropping the files to the desk, he picked up the note, his cock twitched in anticipation, glancing around he saw Matt wasn't at his desk, walking over he quickly wrote a new note this time on bright pink.

'You’re making me hard already. How about this, you suck my brains out and I’ll rim your ass out, deal?'

Sticking it to the screen, he walked uncomfortably back to his desk.

Matt was back moments late he smiled, "you're a tease and a lucky one, it's time for us to go," he said winking at the other after reading the note, "and, that might just happen but I like you, so I hope you like me too and you’re not just horny," he said slipping his jacket on.

Jacoby looked at Matt with a hurt expression in his eyes, "you really think I’d do that, I don't sleep around Matt," Coby replied defensively.

Logging off the computer and pulled harshly at the coat on his chair, putting it on with much more force than necessary. He huffs, "ready, when you are," slight scowl on his face.

"I didn’t mean it like that. i just wanted to know, I have had people go out with me before only for the free drinks, I’m sorry," Matt said his head down, sorrow clear in his voice.

"If you want to like say no I won’t get mad, that was not nice of me to say to you," he said as he scuffed his feet out to the door.

Coby grabbed Matt's wrist firmly before he was out the door, "I never said I wouldn't come, It's just I don't like people accusing me of being... a whore," he whispers the last words; hurt laced his voice with memories of the past.

"I'm sorry, I got mad, and I don't want free drinks from... I want," he gulped, "something more, that's if you want to," he lets go of Matt's wrist and waits patiently for a reaction, maybe some shouting.

"I want more too," he whispered back, his arm now moving around the others waist holding him close as they walked.

"I will buy your drinks as well and if things go good and I’m hoping they would. I will be asking you as my boyfriend," he added before reaching his car, "do you want to ride with me?"

Coby smiled, "if this wasn't a heartfelt moment, I would have made a sexual comment about your last sentence," waiting for Matt to unlock the car. "Matt?"

Matt was unable to stop himself, he cupped Jacoby’s face and kissed him softly "6 months I have wanted to do that," he whispered pulling back, he opened the door then with a smile.

He smiled shyly, Coby felt his lips tingle from when Matt's firm lips where against his, unconsciously leaning forward he whispered, "I've been wanting you to do that for six months,"

He closed his eyes he leaned closer, "I wanna be your boyfriend Matt,"

"Well I’m asking you out then, since I kind of know the answer," he whispered moving his lips closer to the others just waiting for the answer he needed.

Titling his head Coby inched their lips close, "yes I’ll be your boyfriend if you'll be mine," his nose rubbing against Matt's.

Matt nodded, rubbing their noises more before sealing their lips together again, "mmm, tastes likes mints," he said winking to the other, "now get that cute ass in so I can take you out for food first" He said with a wink.

Coby laughed and got in the car, loving the feel or air con on his face.

Matt smiled and looked at the other as he shut the door and got into his own side he smiled over at Jacoby. "so darling, what do you like to eat?" He asked smiling.

"McDonalds," Jacoby giddily yelled smiling at Matt.

"Oh god, I haven’t had that stuff in years," he said softly with a smile, pulling out he headed towards the nearest one.

Jacoby laughed smiling over at Matt, "last time I had a chocolate milkshake from there, my ass jiggled for like a week."

"Mmm, I mean. Well, yeah. Mmm," he said smiling at the other, "you have a nice ass and well, after eating here, we can go out dancing and work it off," he said winking.

Jacoby let out a fake gasp, "Me? Dance? I can't dance. Last time I danced it was,” he bit his lip, "it must have been at my aunt's wedding and my mum pawned me off to the big bridesmaid, I was stepping on hers toes!" He smiled wildly at Matt, watching him drive.

"Well, you will dance with me baby? Because you can step on my feet all you want, hell, I will let you start on my feet, it will be good," he said with a smile, reaching out he squeezed Jacoby hand with a grin.

"I'd really like that, maybe you could show me too," he smiled shyly at Matt, tingles ran up his arm as Matt's warm hand touched his, the hairs on his neck stood to attention.

Making a bold yet hesitant, he rested his hand on Matt's thigh, looking out of the window, trying to calm his shaky hand.

"That I will darling," Matt said winking as he pulled into the Parking lot, glancing over at the other he smiled, "you like to tease me. Is it cause you want to see me walk in there with a hard on?" He asked, his hand now resting on the others forearm.

"Because if you kept that hand there I will for sure get harder," he admitted, leaning in to kiss the others cheek.

Coby blushed so hard at the statement, unable to form a sentence. Turning his head just in time, to catch Matt's lips in a chaste kiss before reaching his cheek, Coby pulled back, and whispered hotly yet almost nervous, "I think I’m starting to get hard," biting his lip as he looked down.

Unable to meet eyes with Matt. Yet his other hand wouldn’t move from Matt's firm thigh.

"Well darling you need to catch up, I have been hard since that first kiss, I just hope I can hide it in there," he said one hand reaching up to make Jacoby look at him.

"How about we stop touching and go in there, get food then once we are finished we can touch more," he said smiling dimples shining brightly.

"O...okay," he looked into Matt's eyes, at that instant Jacoby stomach grumbled, laughing lightly he released his hand from Matt's thigh.

"God, I have no idea why I didn’t talk to you before," he muttered as he got out.

Once Jacoby was out he locked up, holding his hand out he smiled, "let go Cob, your stomach might eat me if I don’t feed you soon," he said with a smile.

Coby jogged round the car giggling, placing his hand in Matt's as they through the double doors, Coby's eyes glance around for a table, spotting a corner near the window. He smiled when he noticed they were the comfy sofa ones, tugging at Matt's hand to get his attention.

"Look an eating sofa, quick gets it before," he whispers in Matt's ear childishly, "before those stupid kids get it,"

Matt chuckled softly, "tell you what baby, you go get the seat's, I will get us the food," he said with a wink, "that way, the kids don’t get the good seats, and we get food and snuggles."

Coby kissed Matt's check and let go off Matt's hand, he smirked to the kids in front who started with a disgusted look, and walked smoothly over to the sofa, sitting down, he glanced around to check if anyone looking, not seeing anyone, he took a couple of bounces to test the softness before settling into the corner half facing diagonally.

Matt chuckled and walked over after Jacoby, "baby, what do you want to eat?" He asked with a smile.

"After all I don’t want to get you something you don’t want to eat," he told the other sliding in to hug the others waist.

"Erm... a spicy veggie meal, large please," leaning in to Matt's touch, "oh and a chocolate milkshake," he mumbles into Matt's jacket.

"Sure thing baby," he muttered standing, he took the jacket off leaving him in his shirt and pants he took wallet and when to order there food.

Watching Matt walk back to the queue, Coby smiled softly thinking how the fuck did he end up going on a date with Matt Sanders, and to actually hold his hand. He wouldn't tell anybody this but loves holding Matt's hand, makes him feel like he belongs to him. He'd loved for Matt to call him his.

Matt smiled as he waited in line, normally he would flirt with the person taking his order but this time he didn’t, she smiled at him and lent over slightly trying to flirt but Matt ordered Jacoby's meal, and shake, and a nice salad for himself, getting a large cola as well. Once he got it he walked back over to His other half.

He shifted when he saw Matt walking back to the table, removing his jacket and slinging it over the back matching Matt's. Coby loved the way Matt walked, head up, shoulders back, proud to be himself. Sometimes Coby wishes he could walk like that. Maybe Matt will bring his confidence back. Matt was one in a million and he didn't want to let go.

Matt smiled at the other and sat down, he placed the others food before him and stuck the straw into the shake, with a Sigh he kissed the others head, "tuck in darling," he said hugging the Jacoby close as he began to eat.

Coby's eyes light up when the food was placed in front of him, picking u a couple of fries and shoving them in his mouth, he hummed, "this is really good," he muffled through a mouth full of food, smiling at Matt, offering him a fry.

Matt chuckled softly at that he held his mouth open, ready to accept the fries, he chuckled softly as he munched them "Mmmm, nice" he said before licking the others fingers with a wink. "So are you," he added.

Coby smirked, "aww, you made my finger sticky and wet now," grabbing a napkin from Matt's tray.

"I'd say you're nice too, but I haven't tasted you get," he smiled innocently shoving another fry in his mouth, taking a long sip of his shake.

Matt giggled, "my tongue doesn’t make you sticky," he said softly, "and... well you might get to taste me later if you want," he whispered into the others ear, moving back he took another sip of his drink and eating more.

Coby pouted, "are you calling me a lair Matthew Sanders?” Inching closer Coby licked Matt's ear, giggling, "you do taste good," taking a sip of his shake.

"Never," Matt said kissing Jacoby's cheek whispering softly into the others ear, "baby, keep doing them kind of things and I will get so hard it will hurt," he muttered, his hand moving to caress Coby’s leg.

Coby's cock twitched when Matt's hand placed itself on his leg, glancing in down, the hand was making small circles, driving Coby insane. "Matt?" He whispers leaning so his shoulder was rested against Matt's, his chin on his shoulder, "I'm not hungry anymore."

Matt smiled and lent his head onto the smaller mans, "really now?" he asked softly before pulling back, "what do you want instead?" He asked.

Coby could only think of one simple word. Closing his eyes, he whispered, "you."

"Do you want to go out Dancing for a while or well I don’t want to assume anything 'cause there is still no sex tonight, maybe some foreplay," he whispered softly so as not to scare the kids.

"Only if you teach me? I suck badly," Coby refused to lift his chin from Matt's shoulder, after finding calmness and comfort in leaning against the strong man, "In more ways than one," he kissed Matt's shirt covered shoulder.

The other giggled at that, "I bet you suck good darling, but I will help you Dance better," he said softly standing he held his hand out to the other before leading them out to his car.

Coby followed like a lost puppy, a glazed happy look plastered all over his face. He held tightly to Matt's hand as the big man, lead the way. Climbing into the car, Coby smiled at Matt before leaning his head back against the rest, staring out into the sky. His tattooed fingers placed comfortably back on Matt's thigh.

Matt smiled before he pulled out, "do you want just go straight to the club or maybe back to yours to get changed?" He asked softly unsure if the other wanted to go in his work clothes.

He looked towards Matt, "yeah I’d like change, I feel stuffy in these. But you haven't any clothes at mine," Coby grinned Matt's way, "well at least not yet."

Matt giggled at that, "I will drop you off at your house, go to mine and quickly get changed then come back and got you," he said with a smile.

"You make this complicated. Why don't you drive to mine, wait till I change, then we drive to yours and you can invite me for a quick drink while you change," Coby suggested.

"Because darling, if I get you in my house any time soon, ’m not sure I will be able or willing to let you back out before morning," he said unable to stop the grin form on his face.

Coby sighed dramatically, "fine you win." Sticking his tongue out playfully.

Matt giggled, "keep doing that and I might put it to use," he said with a smile, "now what way to your house?"

"Get to Maggie's store, turn left, right, then up to of the hill, second house on the cauldersack," Jacoby looked over, sticking his tongue out again to tease Matt, "get all that."

"Yes I did and you better watch your back when I park. Your tongue is mine," he said with a mock glare as he turned left at the store.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Sanders," Coby smirked turning back to face the window, watching the sceneary go by.

Matt moved his hand then to grip Jacobys leg, teasing his mid thigh slowly by tracing slow circles on it.

Coby's head whipped round when he felt Matt's hand impossibly close to his groin, "you're a hypercrite Matthew Sanders," he said quietly, too busy enjoying the tickling feeling on his leg, humming in appreciation

"No Darling, not a hypocrite, I'm only doing this because I can't kiss you right now, you are teasing me with sticking your tounge out. Think of this as pay back," he said with a smile.

Coby huffed but let Matt carry on tickling him, having not been touched in along time, he missed it and he felt powerless to stop him.

"I hate what you do to me, yet I like how you make me feel, is that wrong to say, so early," he whispered.

"Do you want me to stop?" He aske soflty stilling his hands, he didnt want to make Coby feel uneasy.

"No!" He shook his head frantically placing his free hand on top of Matt's interlocking their fingers. "I want you to carry on."

Matt chuckled softly, "ok baby," he said with a giggle.

Leaning forward he placed gentle kiss to Matt's cheek, trying to be careful as Matt was still driving. Nudging his nose against his cheek.

Matt Sighed, "how about we just stay in you house for a while. Cuddle and maybe watch a movie?"

"What happened to dancing?" Coby spoke, still leant closely against Matt, but not enough to distract him from driving, "not that I have anything against you coming to mine, I'd like that actually."

"Well, it’s just I’m so hard and well, I don't really want others seeing how damn cute you will look shaking your ass, it’s damn hot as it is when you walk," he admited with a blush.

"Well, we can't have you hard can we?" He smiled at Matt, "besides I don't think, I would've liked, all those people staring at you like a piece of meat. That's my job," he licked Matt's cheek and giggled.

Matt shivered just as he pulled into Jacoby's house turning off the engien he pulled Jacoby into his arms, he kissed the other, "mmm, we don't have to deal with me member right now, maybe later," he muttered.

"Okay," he whispered, lips brushing against Matt's, "kiss me again."

"Oh, such a demanding baby," he said giggling before he kissed the other deeply.

"Mmm, you taste good," he mumbled against Matt's swollen lips, "I'm not demanding I just know what I want," breathing over Matt.

He continued, "I want you not anything sexual or anything, well, I do but I just want you," fingers twitching nervously.

With a smirk at Jacoby, Matt pulled and looked at the other, "come on baby. Lets go up to your apartment," he said winking at them.

"Yeah, sure... okay. But I must warn you it's abit of a mess, I haven't been able to clean this week," He kissed Matt's cheek, before he got out the car, and waited for Matt to lock it.

He then grabbed his hand leading him up the stairs to the top floor of his apartment building. Unlocking the door he pushed it open revealing an open-planned space, "come in," he gestured to Matt.

Matt Smiled softly as he looked around, "wow," he said with a smile, "It’s so nice in here. How can you think this messy?" he asked smiling.

"Look, there's a shoe and some files near the sofa and a left over plate," he pointed to the offending items, then over to the sink across the room, "and there's a cup in the sink," he says matter-of-factly.

"Oh god forbid if you ever walk into my bedroom in the morning before I wake up, your place is tidy to me," he said stalking over to the other he grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss.

Mumbling against the kiss, "why is your bedroom untidy?" He said against Matt's wishes as he tries to kiss him, but finding it difficult due to Coby's mumbling.

"Because," he started pulling back, "at night, I shower and that towel I throw on the ground, and the clothes I take of to get in the Shower are already on the floor," he said with a wink.

"Don't you have a basket? Like where you put your dirty clothes? Do you leave them on the floor? You could get rats you know, not normal rats, big ass rats that hide in your trouser leg," he mused snuggly resting his hands on Matt's firm hips.

Matt laughed, "yes darling I do have a basket but after my night shower I just want to sleep because my night shower is also my night wank," he smuttered against the others lips.

"Then why have basket?" Pressing his dry lips firmly against Matt's before pulling back quickly, "wait, you have a wank in the shower? Why not do it in bed where you can just pass out and change your sheets in the morning," He questioned and gave Matt's chin a kiss, before aiming for his lips.

"Because that’s too much work, and I put the clothes in the basket when I get up," he said before walking the back so Jacoby's back was to the walk, pressing him in a little he kissed the other.

Coby giggled but turned into a slightly, held back moan as Matt pushed him against the wall, "well that's just too much work, if you ask me," he huffed.

Coby made a quick decision and pulled Matt flat against him and placed a kiss to pulse, nuzzling his neck, and letting out a small gigglesnort at nothing inparticular.

Matt moaned in appreciation before sighing, "mmm Coby, lets move this to a seat please." he said softly.

"But I’m comfy kinda," he whined playfully before walking over to the black leather corner sofa, pulling Matt down with him, "so what you wana do? Kiss and watch TV or kiss or just watch TV?" He asked snuggling against Matt's side, his face buried into his neck.

"Watch and Kissing," he said smiling as he held the other close kissing his neck.

"Okay I have to get the remote," Coby murmmered between kisses, leaning forwards refusing to part lips with Matt, he stretched over fingers just touching the remote. Mouth still firmly planted on Matt's properly swollen lips.

Matt pulled back slowly and smiled, "let’s see whats on then baby," he said sitting back and he pulled Jacoby with him so the other was leaning against his side.

Coby snuggled against Matt's toned chest, half on, half off Matt, "wanna see if a movie is on? They usually have some on film 4," Coby suggested curling closer to Matt.

"Sure baby, I like me a good movie," he said grinning, "and snuggling while watching a movie is the best," he said holding the other close.

"I like snuggling it makes me sleepy," Coby flicked through the channels landing on film 4, where 'Something about Mary' was just about to start. "Is this okay?" He asked not wanting to put on something Matt didn't like.

"Yes, it’s a funny movie," he said with a smile, he shifted slightly so as to be more comfortable, he rested his head ontop of Cobys, "you know, I'm happy that you wrote that note today.

"Really, you didn't think it was creepy, stalkerish?" Coby's eyes trained on the TV.

"No I really liked it. It made me happy, I kinda lost hope to talk to you," he said smiling.

"I didn't know how to tell you that I liked you. I thought you'd call me a..." he gulped nervously, "faggot," he whispered the hateful word.

Hands unconciously gripped Matt's shirt. Letting out breath he didn't know he was holding, "I miss this you know?" He let out randomly.

"I hate that word baby," he said soflty cuping the others cheek he kissed it. When he pulled back he smiled, "you missed what baby?”

Resting his head against Matt's, he sighed, “you know, closeness, just cuddling and watching a movie instead of my own. It's nice to have company. Especially yours," he smiled shyly at Matt's, reaching to intwine their fingers, "I like holding your hand," he stated.

"I never really had this with my ex, but I do like it," he said smiling he took the others hand up and placed a kiss on the knuckles.

"Can I ask you a question? You don't have to anwser it or anything, if I'm being too nosey just tell me to shut up," He asked sitting up abit, body still moulded into Matt's.

"Yes darling, you can ask me a question," he said smiling, his hand rubbing slowly up and down Jacoby’s back.

"What do you mean; you never really had this with your ex? Was he never romantic?" Coby asked Matt almost nervously even though the hand on his back was calming some of the nerves.

"No, he was never really around, he would turn up, fuck me then leave," he said softly, a little upset his ex was not the nicest guy but Matt had been with him since High school, he knew no better.

"Why didn't you leave? You deserve so much fucking better than to be fucked and left like that, you're beautiful, if it was me, I'd never let you go?" Coby was scared to raise his voice afraid to the moment him and Matt was having, to finally talk to him, get to know him.

"He want always that bad, he was my friend to begin with then one night, we were drunk and fucked. Back in high school, he was my first, I didn't know any better," he admitted looking down, "I though he was the best I could get."

"How did you, you know,.end? I'm sorry I'm being nosy, it's just that I'd like to get to know you and I want to everything about you cause you intrigue me, sort of," offering Matt a small sigh, relaxing to the feel of Matt's hand rubbing soothing circles.

"I walked in on him fucking someone else, a girl," he said shivering at the memory, "he told me,while fucking her that he just asked her to be his wife and he didn't need my gay ass anymore," he admitted.

"And now, I want to know about you too."

"I swear to god, if I was there I would've kicked his fucking head in. How dare he treat you like, you do know I automatically hate him now right? Even though I've never met him," Coby started to feel a little bit of anger build in him. How could someone do that to Matt, he was georgeous, kind, funny, caring, beautiful, how someone can just use him like that. It makes Coby very angry.

"Baby," Matt said with a soft smile, he pulled Jacoby closer, rocking him softly, "It's ok baby, no point hating him. He is my brother in law now," he said even sader but the other needed to know.

"I don't care, he shouldn't have treated you like that and any person with a heart shouldn't treat you like that. Ever."

Coby only just realising what Matt said, "he's your what?!" Coby trying his best calm down but finding it a bit difficults, he focuses on Matt's gently rocking, his fingers stop shaking. Almost.

"The girl, it was my younger sister, that’s how I walked in on them, I went over to her's because I was bored," he said slumping againt the other, still rubbing his back.

Falling back against Matt, he placed a gentle but firm kiss upon Matt's lips, "I'm sorry, but I'm glad in a way, I wouldn't be here, right now with you, if it was different," he kissed along Matt's cheek to his nose, missing his lips and placed a chaste kiss to his chin, then planting a kiss on lips, hestitantly he licked his tongue against Matt's botton lip.

Matt kissed him back softly, "I really wouldn't the only reason I moved here was to get away from them all," he admitted soflty as he let his finger slip under Jacobys shirt to play with the soft skin there.

Shivers ran up his spine, feeling Matt's slighlty warm hand caress his bare skin. Coby removed all space between them settling himself on Matt, bringing his arms around Matt's waist, well as much as he can.

He sighs deeply against Matt's neck, "sometimes, I'd go to the beach and just sit there, listening to waves, it gets cold, but I don't mind it, makes me numb, makes me forget the world."

"I kind of do the same," he replyed with a soft blush, "but, it’s the roof of my apartment block I go to, from there I get a nice view of the sea and the night sky," he admitted one and going into Jacobys hair massaging it softly.

Coby purrs into Matt's neck loving the attention he's getting, "maybe you can take me sometime, I'd like to see the sunset with you," Coby confessed, lightly kissed Matt's adams apple, holding just abit tighter. His eyes closed in calmness and in the arms of someone, the murmering sound of the TV can be heard, but he doesn't care.

"I would love that, it would be nice to spend sunset with someone in my arms," he admitted with a smile, "so... whats your ex story, if you dont mind me asking love,"

"He was my first real boyfriend, I was 25 never been with anyone else, I didn't want to give my body to just anybody, I wanted it to be with someone I love, he was so believeable, so caring, kind, very attractive, he told me that he wanted to wait too, so we did I was with him for 2 years before we both decided we were ready. He was... erm rough, too rough. I hated it but I loved him so I thought it was going to get better but it never did,"

Wet, silent tears fell down Coby's face, trying descreetly to wipe them away. "I found out about 2 months laters, he lied. His ex boyfriend told me."

"Oh no baby, you deserve so much better than that," he said softly getting angry he held the other, he wasn't angry at Coby, just at the man that did that to him, "but know this and I mean this more than 100% I would never do that. I dont like it rough a lot. I like soft and lovieing better," he said softly.

"It's just that, he made it hard for me to trust people, I don't feel attractive like I used to be, and sometimes it hurts. I'm scared to have sex Matt, what man is scared of sex?"

Coby cried softly, "thank you. That means a lot, sounds stupid I know but, I feel safe here, with you," he sniffled, and nuzzled his damp face against Matt's neck, leaving hardly any room to breathe.

"Baby, you so hot, you take my breath away some days, I mean it and if you say no or stop I will, I would never push with you love, or anyone," he said holding the other close, rocking him slowly and patting his back.

Coby blushed at the compliment, neither accepting nor rejecting it, "I'm sorry, I bet you didn't expect your night to turn out like this," Coby spoke softly, almost clinging to Matt's neck, "can't believe I’m crying already," Coby laughed, quiet and nervously.

"Aww baby, come on, trust me. I’m not bothered, I would rather know now," he said rocking a little more, he also kissed the others head softy, "It's gunna be fine baby, I'm not going to leave you okay?"

"Okay, I’m not gunna leave you either. Or use you," he replied while kissing Matt's neck, "I like it when you call me baby, Matty-kins," Coby giggled. He decided Matt should have a pet name too.

Matt smiled at that moving his neck so the other had better access "I like that Coby-Cakes," he said with a smile as he softly tickled the others sides in a playful way.

Coby pouted, that turned into full on giggle when Matt's fingers attacked his sides, "Stop it," he breathed between laughed, "I can't kiss you when I’m laughing," he gasped, but with a smile as wide as America on his face.

"Stop it, I can't breathe," his hands starting to stray over to Matt's waist seeking revenge.

Matt chuckled and did as he was asked, "you're so cute when you laugh baby," he said softly as he brought the others head to his, kissing him deeply when he pulled back.

He chuckled, "I do believe something about marry is near the end," he admitted with a smile.

"I'm not cute, I'm manly," Coby stated playfully, sticking out his chest. He collapsed back against Matt's chest and kissed his neck. He didn't know what it was, about Matt's neck that made want to keep kissing it, maybe it's safety he finds when he nuzzles his head against it, or the way Matt's throat moves when he swallows, or how he can feel the vibrations eveytime he speaks. Whatever it is he feels safe.

"Shit! Do you wanna watch the movie cause if you do it's on sky plus so I can rewind it," suddenly remembering what Matt said about the film, "or we could just cuddle for a bit, that's if you want to, I don't wanna make you, it's up to you, your choice," he asked hesitantly.

Matt chuckled, "darling, don’t panic, I would really rather just lay here and relax will you, so don’t think I will get mad or something ok baby?" He said softly kissing the other, he moved them so Matt was on top pinning the other to the couch he began to nibble the others neck.

Coby let himself be pushed down, smiling at Matt, "Okay," he whispered still unsure. He let out a small giggle when Matt's lips met his neck. Coby loved the way Matt's lips felt. Warm, soft, wet. He craned his neck so Matt could have more access. A small moan left his mouth, when Matt's bite just below his ear. His weak spot.

"Matt, if you don't stop, I’m not gunna be able to help myself," he whispered, holding back another moan, "kiss me,"

Smiling then Matt Kissed him soundly, loving the smaller man under him like he had never like before, Matt wasn't a top, he had always been bottom with his ex, always the fucked never the fucker, but it felt good to be on top, but he wouldn’t fuck Coby, no he would make love to him,

"Baby, I think that tonight we should just sleep, I would feel like I’m taking advantage if we did anything after what you told me, at least tonight anyway," he said cupping the others face so his fingers trailed over the others lip.

"I think I'm too tired to get it up anyway," he giggled softly, "to be honest I’m glad you said that, because I was getting a little scared," ducking his face so Matt couldn't see the fear that was starting to ebb away in his eyes.

"Erm... do wanna sleep on the sofa or do you wanna share with mine?" Still avoiding eye contact with Matt, but his tattooed hands coming to rest on Matt's forearms.

"Was it me that was scaring you Coby-cake because you need to tell me this kind of thing, I never want to be the reason your afraid, I want to help you not hinder you," he muttered, sitting up he moved off the other man, "I will sleep here if you want me too, I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking over you.”

"No, no, it’s not you. Honest. I feel safe with you," He blurted out, the last thing he wanted was to make Matt feel like he was doing something wrong. He felt safe and loved with Matt, not scared.

"You don't scare me. It's just I don't even know why I'm scared," he couldn't find the strength to sit, so he just laid there, fighting back the tears he could feel burning his eyes.

"I don't want you to hate me," He mumbled, "I would like it if you shared with me, I don't wanna be alone, I like being close to you," he whispered.

"Come here baby. Never hide your tears around me, I may not like them but that is only because I don’t like to see you sad," he said softly hugging the other close, he stood then with the other in his arms.

"Which way to your bedroom love? We will lay down and sleep, I want to keep you safe okay," he said as he swayed like you would when soothing a child.

Coby hugged Matt's with as much strength he could muster, he refused to move for a couple of minutes, just basking in the warmth that Matt's body released, "It's this way," he mumbled against Matt's chest, he pulled away but just enough so they could move.

Holding Matt close, Coby lead them through the corridor passing 3 closed doors, and to a slightly ajar door, Jacoby's room.

Matt Sighed and followed the other, his hands on the others waist, "just tell me what you want of me and you will have it. You can be top because I have never tried it," he said with a blush "and the idea of you pushing into me is really hot."

He blushed furiously at Matt's words, Coby's never topped; he doesn't want to disappoint Matt, because maybe he might tell him he's useless. Coby doesn't want that.

"I... I don't want to have sex, Matt," he gulped, shifting his feet nervously but if Matt wants to then, Matt wants to. "If you want then we can though."

"No Coby, I told you tonight is for sleep, not love making, that is only when you are ready for that step okay?" He said softly kissing the other.

"You need to stop being scared of me love, I will never harm you or make you do anything you didn’t want to."

"I’m sorry, it's been awhile since I've let someone close, I'm just a little shaky, “He smiled softly at Matt reaching for his hand, stepping further into the room, "I sleep naked but if it makes you uncomfortable I can wear boxers or PJ's,"

He kissed Matt softly, then whispered words, he thought he would never say, "thank you, you know for being there, others would have run a mile," he kissed Matt's neck, his favourite place, "I trust you," three words he swore he'd never use, but found Matt was worthy of them.

"Baby I want you to sleep how you will feel comfortable, I will be in my boxers because that’s how I normally sleep, or if you would feel better I can keep the pants on too," he said smiling as he slowly walked with Jacoby over to his bed.

"You can wear boxers Matt, I'm not that much of a prude," he chuckled softly, "and in that case, I sleeping, naked like the day I was born," grinning wildly, he began undressing.

He felt himself blush as Matt watched him undress, feeling self conscious, but smiled at the attention he was getting. Only his ex saw him naked once in the light, told him he was fat and ugly, he's never had the light on since. But Matt's different, he knows that. So he keeps the light on, for now.

Matt Watched as Coby Striped, his breath going shallow he gulped, "fuck. Coby you are so amazing looking, your abs are sexy," he said reaching out to softly pet them, before he pulled back and began to strip as well so Jacoby didn’t feel to pressured into it.

"You mean it? You don’t think I'm fat?" Coby asked blushing slightly, "I think I’m fat," he mumbled to himself.

He tried to not steal glance as Matt undress, but couldn't help himself when he saw Matt's tattooed chest and abs. He cleared his throat, "I like your bat tattoo," pointing towards Matt's abs, "it's nice, well drawn... tattooed," he stuttered.

Matt giggled softly and took the others hand, "you can touch it" he said softly setting the others hand on the design before he held onto the others waist, "and no, never fat, you are nicely built, I don’t like sticks, I might break them hugging them. With you, your nice and defined, and I think that’s sexy as hell," he said kissing the others jaw line.

He giggled, "You think I’m sexy? I think you're sexy too," he traced the outlines with his fingers bringing his other hand to trace the ones on his chest, almost moving them rhythmatically.

His gazed, followed his hands, till his left hand reached Matt's cheek, leaning forward, he placed a simple, yet loving kiss to Matt's lips. Nuzzling his head once again into Matt's neck, his breathing picking up a little as Matt's hands travelled up and down his sides, leaving Goosebumps along his spine.

"Feeling better now baby?" He asked kissing his head, "I’m not gunna run away, and I think your sexy as hell so don’t be shy around me or tentative," he said smiling as he pulled back and dropped his pants leaving him in just his boxers.

"Yeah, thank you," smiling genuinely at Matt. He removed his pants, and then removed his boxers, he climbed into the bed, pulling back the blanket and patted the empty space, "get in, it's warmer," reaching his hand towards Matt.

"Ok baby," he said smiling as he slowly slipped into the sheets, his arms going around the others, "you're so warm baby, I like cuddling you," he said as he rested his head in the others chest.

Coby wrapped his arms around Matt, sliding a leg between Matt's leaving no space between them, "I like cuddling you too, you make me feel safe and warm," his head resting against Matt's chest, pressing a kiss on his, 'thicker than water' tattoo. "Matt?"

"Yes love?" He asked softly as he held the other close, loving the feeling of lying with someone, as warm and kind as Jacoby.

"What was your family like?" Coby settled himself firmly against Matt, loving how the rising of Matt's chest could calm him within a matter of seconds.

"My mother and Father were the best, so kind and giving, no matter what I said when I was a teen they knew I loved them. When they found out I was gay they even tried setting me up with some guys, it was funny," he said with a smile, "Mom never liked Ben," he said with a sigh as he gently rubbed the others back.

"Is Ben your ex?" Coby asked, just enjoying talking to Matt knowing that nothing’s going to happen tonight. He trusts Matt. He enjoys his company.

"Yea, Ben is my ex, mom always though I could do better than him," he said softly with a smile.

"Your mum sounds amazing, she was right too," he chuckled softly, tightening his arms just slightly around Matt's waist. Placing kisses up Matt's chest, and one last kiss to his soft lips.

"Yea she was the best. Her and dad died almost 8 years ago in 9/11," he said sadly looking away from the other.

Coby lifted his head from Matt's chest, "Shit, Matt, I’m sorry," He brought his hand up to cup Matt's chin, turning him to face him, he placed a kiss to his lips, and pulled him into a hug, rocking him slightly, like Matt had done earlier.

"Nobody should ever lose their parents like that, and at the same time. I'm here if you ever want to talk about okay, like you're here for me," he whispered in Matt's ear, giving a chaste kiss below the ear.

"Thank you Coby. I was torn up about it but the way I see it, least one of them didn’t have to see the other die, least they got to live and die together," he said softly snuggling closer to the other man, "what about you baby?" he asked.

"That is a good way to die... I mean together man and wife, not actually how they died," Coby struggled to find the right words. But there are no right words, when you're comforting someone. He knows that better than anyone.

"My dad, he was a drunk, lost his job, alcohol became his best friend, he got violent, I did one thing wrong or not to his standards I'd get a beating. If it wasn't for my mom I would have never stuck around, she tried her best; she looked after me the best she could, with all she had. She didn’t disown me when I came out, just said she’s proud of me no matter what. She always told the truth, she never sugar coated anything, she did what was best for me, and I could never thank her enough. She was an amazing woman. My dad can rot in hell," Releasing Matt he snuggled back against Matt's chest.

"Baby," he said softly as he rocked them, "if I ever meet your Father, I will make sure he knows how he is supposed to treat his kid," Matt said venom in his voice but he still kissed the blue eyed man's head softly.

"It's fine, doubt you'd ever see him, I haven't seen him since I was 17, probably still a drunk." Coby loved the kisses Matt gave him, he always wanted more. He pressed a kiss to Matt's bare chest.

"Matt, do you want a family? I know we can't, you know, we as in me and you, not that I wouldn't like to, if we get that far, I’m saying we won't get that far but as in we. Us gay guys. If you could adopt or have a surrogate would you?" Coby asked, he asked himself this question most nights.

He hoped could find the right person to make those dreams come true. Coby was always a family man, and wants to be there for his kids, and not push them away like his father. He would never be him.

"Yes darling, if we get that close.and things work out with us then I would love to adopt a child or two and even have a surrogate carry one, I love children. It was the one thing I hated about Ben, he hated kids," he said softly kissing the other, "and stop rambling love, you don’t need to feel like you insulted me or something, although it is cute,” he said with a smirk.

Coby whined and pouted, "I'm not cute, I already told you," Sticking his tongue out playfully even though Matt could see it.

He turned slightly so he was facing Matt arms rested upon Matt's chest, "I can't but ramble it’s a nervous habit. I love children I want 3, two boys and girl, my ex Scott didn't like children either, said I always reminded him of them. Always in the way."

He looked down with sad eyes, before bringing them up to meet Matt's, "I won't like a surrogate. Even though it would mean a piece of you or me. It’s just, if I did, I’d have it with someone I didn't know because I wouldn't like it to be a friend because then they would have to be involved and it wouldn't feel right to me, for her to be there, when I’m with you and our child and knowing she's their m=Mother, and that she's in their life and shoved in my face. With a stranger she'd disappear once the baby was born, though we'd keep in touch with letters and stuff. Is that wrong of me? To be selfish?" Coby lets out a breath after his rant. Chin rested on his arms.

"You will never get in the way baby, and nor do kids and well, I agree, I wouldn’t want to know her. All I would want to know is she wasn’t some cheap tramp or some slut, I would want a nice woman and yes, we would keep in touch," he said softly kissing the others head as they lay there.

He yawned, "Damn, I’m shattered baby," he said with a smile, his hand still tracing designs in the others back.

"Yea I don't want a slut carrying our baby, she might give it something," Coby reasoned, "I'd like a baby with you Matt, you'd be a great Mommy," Coby giggled, purring into the touch of Matt's hands on his back.

"We can sleep now, if you’re tired, would you like me to move off you?" He asked starting to remove himself from Matt's body, away from his touch.

"No," Matt groaned and held Jacoby to him "I can sleep like this, I want to sleep like this," he said with a smile at the other, "and I’m so not the Mommy, cheeky," he said softly tickling the other.

Falling with an omph back on Matt's chest, giggling he snuggled himself against Matt, tangling their legs, resting his head in his favourite place and his right hand placed firmly on Matt's heart.

Hoping one day, Matt trusts him to hold and keep it safe forever. Careful not to drop it, "you so would be the Mommy; you got the Mother's touch. I'd be the awesome dad," He whispered kissing Matt's neck.

"Pfft, look at my arms, these are dad arms not mom arms," he said smiling as he laced their fingers together, "but we can be both be a Dad and Papa. That way we can be have the best of both," he said with a smile as he closed his eyes, enjoying the heat.

"Daddy arms?" Giggling letting out a little snort, finding the word funnier than it actually was.

"I wanna be Papa, it suits me," he says between giggles, taking in deep breath to calm his rapid heart.

He wedged his head between Matt's shoulders and head. Kissing Matt's neck, sucking a little, leaving a little red blotch behind. His hand started tracing Matt's chest watching his chest rise and fall, relishing in the comfort it brings, closing his eyes, he could hear Matt's breathing, and it felt safe.

Matt closed his eyes slowly and let sleep over come him, happy that he had found someone that he could be with forever.

Just a spoonful of Jimmy <3

2010-01-02T19:10:00Z

He was/is one of the greatest inspirations in my life, I could never express how much he effected me. I'm still in shock and denial, but I will carry on and celebrate his life and help make sure, like many of us, that his name will live on.

Dear God, I pray James "The Rev" Sullivan is in a Little Piece of Heaven in the Afterlife, making the angels Scream. He Seized the Day in Bat Country and then Burned it Down. His Unholy Confessions are Trashed and Scattered. We gave him Strength of the World, and he gave us a Second Heartbeat. A Synyster man who will leave his Shadows behind and strike with a Vengeance, fearing no Christ for he is the Plague.

R.I.P.
JAMES OWEN SULLIVAN
"THE REVEREND THOLOMEW PLAGUE"
FEBRUARY 09, 1981 - DECEMBER 28, 2009
GONE BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN, ALWAYS.

I ran towards the flame.

2009-10-22T15:13:08Z

Title: I ran towards the flame.
Author: littlepluto
Pairing: Pierre/David.
Rating: PG
POV: 3rd
Summary: He knew that as soon as he saw him everything will be alright.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue. Patrick will kick your ass if you do.
Author Notes: For the hott_baguettes: Discography Challenge. Song: Quit your life - MxPx
Beta: xkilleddreamsx
Warnings: Slight mention of suicide.

I’ve been everywhere around the world and finally here tonight
You seem to be the only one to make me feel alright.

Pierre sat on the clean, neat sheets of the hotel bed as he anxiously waited for the knock at the door. He’d been practicing the words he was going to say over and over again, yet he was afraid to say them out loud. But somehow, even though his hands were shaking, and his feet were tapping on the chocolate-shaded carpet. He knew that as soon as he saw him everything will be alright.

I feel good when I know you’re coming down
I feel good when I know you’ll be around

David had been standing outside Pierre’s door for over two minutes, too nervous to raise his fist to the door. His mind had told him to run back to his room, back to the dim-lit bathroom and pretend that he never read the note from Pierre. His heart, however, told him to take a chance, make a change. Live his life, not end it. So there he stood, on the hotel landing instead of in his cold hotel bathroom, razor raised to his wrist.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the crinkled up note. David held the note tight, the tips of his fingers turning white. He took a deep breath and opened it, hoping that what he read was real and not his imagination. The words were still there:

“David,
I know that life is hard,

So quit your life and stay with me
We’ll order in and watch TV
We’ll paint the house and wash the car
We’ll take a walk but not too far
So quit your life and stay with me.

Please come to my room tonight, 7pm.
Pierre.”

David folded the note and placed it back into his pocket. He raised his small fist and knocked.

New York to Los Angeles and all the towns between
After miles and hours on the road, you’re the best I’ve seen

They had been touring only a couple of months when lack of sleep and homesickness started to affect everyone’s mood, especially David’s. So after minimum persuasion the guys found themselves in one of LA’s luxurious hotels. Pierre decided that this was the perfect night.

Pierre looked up when he heard the knock. He did a quick scan of the room. There were two green bowls full with both flavoured popcorn, salty and butter. One red bowl filled with sweets, more gummy bears than the rest, knowing they were David’s favourite. A few bottles of beer, soda and juice boxes. The TV was set on DVD mode, with a selection of DVDs to choose from. He smiled to himself, everything was perfect.

He walked over and pulled open the door, inviting a Pyjama-clad David in, and Pierre smiled softly.

I feel good; you’re the best friend that I’ve found
I feel good when I’m coming back to your town

David had always disliked his life, his childhood wasn’t that great, his parent’s were always fighting and screaming at each other, they divorced when David was 13. He was bullied constantly at school, he could never forget the words they punched and kicked into him; faggot, queer, geek, loser, loner. They ran in a vicious cycle inside his head.

Life became easier when he met Pierre. Pierre never called him names, he never hurt him and never made him feel lonely, he was always there. He was there when David wanted to die; he made sure David didn’t give up and made sure David was strong. Without him, he wouldn’t be in a successful band or saying ‘Fuck you’ to those who made his life hell. Pierre was David’s best friend, nothing more. That’s why he still disliked life. He wanted to give up.

Pierre walked over to David, pulling him into a tight hug, and whispered ever so softly in his ear.

“So quit your life and stay with me
We’ll order in and watch TV
We’ll paint the house and wash the car
We’ll take a walk but not too far
So quit your life and stay with me.
Stay with me.”

David clung tightly to Pierre. He understood every word.

I heard the road, it was calling my name
I walked towards the light and I ran towards the flame
I ran towards the flame.

Pierre moved back slowly and grabbed David’s chin gently and pressed their foreheads together. They gazed into each other’s eyes, hazel met chocolate in a battle of love and hope. Pierre saw David’s eyes shut only seconds later, his long eyelashes brush against his own. It’s then that Pierre plucked up the courage and whispered the words, he longed to say.

“I love you, David.”

After all is said and done, I don’t mind saying again
I say it’s true that I’m in love with the places that I’ve been.

David eyes opened wide, searching Pierre’s for any trace of a lie, but he found none. His arms that hung loosely over Pierre’s shoulders tensed and brought Pierre closer, mere inches between them.

A small, genuine smile graced David’s lips as he stuttered nervously, “really?”

Pierre closed the gap between them; his lips hovered over David’s pink ones. David knew what Pierre was doing, he leant in, and their lips met in the gentlest of touches. Both men felt fireworks fly and the adrenaline rush through their veins. Pierre’s hand came to rest on David’s perfect hips, and as the kiss ended, he smiled widely, “yeah, really. I love you.”

David grinned as his dream came true. He pecked Pierre’s lips and spoke the words he saved till this day. “I love you too,”

I feel good when I know you’re coming down
I feel good when I know you’ll be around
So quit your life and stay with me
Stay with me.

At 12:03am, David laid awake on a sleeping Pierre’s chest. The murmur of the TV could be heard in the background from their earlier activities. He rest his head over Pierre’s heartbeat, and the beat of Pierre’s rhythmic heart let him know that it was all real.

He closed his eyes and whispered, “I will quit my life and stay with you.”

Unbeknownst to David, Pierre had heard every word and his grip on David grew slightly tighter.

The unused razor lay cold and forgotten at the bottom of a white porcelain sink.

The End.

Pretty Suicide

2009-09-26T02:50:07Z

Title: Pretty Suicide.
Author: littlepluto
Author Notes: I wrote this while bored at work. It's non-slash, just a little drabble I did. It tells a really, short story but if you haven't a twisted mind, you may not understand it. Based on fiction and truth. Title taken from 18 Visions.

Another Pretty Suicide.

I'm your pretty suicide
Watch me take a bullet
From an over used gun
So stop your silly screaming
Cause, I'm your pretty suicide
Don't I look pretty?
Dead on the ground tonight.

I'm your pretty suicide
Hidden behind deaf ears
Your tongue let slip from your venomous mouth
The truth came out
It's too late baby
I'm your pretty suicide
I'm pulling this heavy trigger
I'll be the death of you tonight.

I'm your pretty suicide
My heart is the HK P.30
Held in your lifeless bloody hand
My soul is the bullet
Between your rolled back eyes
Cause baby, I'm your pretty suicide
And I'm dethless tonight!

30 pounds

2009-07-29T17:48:05Z

Title: 30 pounds [Standalone]
Author: littlepluto
Pairing: Brian/Zack
Rating: PG-13
POV: 3rd
Summary: “Take it you've been watching discovery planet again.”
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. Simple.
Author Notes: This is my first Brian/Zack fic with them as the main characters, please be nice. Based on an event that happened with my cousin today with a gay slashy twist.
Beta: Thank you, screamer_13. I'm sorry if there is any small mistakes, he's still having a rough time recovering to concentrate hard enough.
Warnings: M-preg. Swearing.

,“Erm... Brian?”

“Yeah babe?”

“I need the toilet. But I’m kind of stuck,” Brian looks over the magazine he was reading, to peer down at his boyfriend laid on a beanbag.

Brian chuckles, “just roll over and push yourself up,” Zack makes a whining sound while his bright emerald eyes give Brian their best kicked puppy look.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that, I told you not to lie down,” Brian states in a told-you-so way.

“Well, you can’t expect me to stand on my feet carrying your extra 30 pounds of weight, which by the way is like carrying a small immature coyote all the fucking time.”

“Take it you’ve been watching discovery planet again,” giving Zack a glare, “what do you mean mine? You mean ours?” Retaliates Brian.

“No, I mean yours, it’s your fault. Now help me up or I’m gunna pee myself!” Zack attempts to sit up but fails as his back hits the polystyrene filled bag.

Brian gives in at the sight of tears filling his boyfriend’s eyes. Putting down his magazine, he stands up and walks to over to Zack holding out his hands for him to grab. Small chubby hands clasp on to callused hands gripping tight. Before Brian pulls Zack up he has a question.

“Zack... do you really blame me for making you keep it?” Zack blinks back his tears, and shakes his head furiously.

“Fuck Brian... Shit! I’m sorry I was just annoyed; of course I don’t fucking blame you. Don’t ever think that okay?” Zack squeezes his hands as confirmation, “and it’s a him not an it.”

“Sorry, I meant him. It’s just that, sometimes, I’m scared that your gunna hate me, for making you someone you didn’t want to be. I know you liked your body just the way it was and I made you like this.”

Zack sighs and tugs on Brian’s hands signalling he wants to get up; smiling Brian helps Zack up onto his slightly swollen feet. Zack continues, “Brian you didn’t make me do anything, this is our baby, a part of me and you, and I’d get fat and moody all over again if it means that a part of the man I love is growing inside of me and that I’m going to have his baby, his family.”

He wraps his hands around Brian’s waist and brings him in for a hug, Brian happily accepts and gets as close to Zack as he can possibly get with the bump being there.

“Okay, now let me go, I really need the fucking toilet, this kid is gunna be a baseball player for sure,” Zack whispers against Brian’s ear.

Releasing his hold on Zack, Brian smiles and places a chaste kiss to his temple, “our baby boy is gunna be a guitarist,” he states matter-of-factly.

“Nuh-uh,” Zack sticks his tongue out and pulls himself away from Brian and shakes his head walking towards the door, before disappearing he turns around with a small, happy smile on his face, “I want to have your baby Brian. I am having your baby. As long as he’s healthy and ours, he can be whatever he wants to be.”

A tear slips down Brian’s cheek as he hears the heartfelt words falling from the father of his child’s lips.

Hearing Zack remove all of his fears and insecurities, he finds another reason why he loves this man so fucking much and the day he leaves, is the day his life will fall part. But from the smile on Zack’s face, he knows that will never happen.

“I love you Zack.”

“I love you too, Brian,” Zack waddles of to the toilet.

--**--

11 hours, 13 minutes and 4 seconds later.

Brian and Zack are now the proud fathers of Xavier Lucca Haner who was born Wednesday 29th July at 6.06pm weighing 6lbs 4oz and a length of 48cms.

Xavier is a very healthy, innocent baby boy, that is, until he meets his rockstar uncles.