Sometimes I can't even trust myself

linachu — Sun, 07 Jun 2015 14:53:13 GMT

Since meliachu, sleepdebtfairy, tarahime and winter_ruins made updated life posts on here, I'll hop onto the band wagon. Because damn, it's been a year!

Lesse...

- I got married, surprise surprise! Wedding was awesome (aside from my cake but let's not go there) and I had the most important people to me present and part of it, which is all I wanted. Molly was a glorious MOH, Bonnie was a bridesmaid, Tara did the makeup, etc.

- We met winter_ruins in person a couple months ago! She stayed with Connor and I, got molested by our cats and dog. It was glorious. I love meeting internet friends I've known for years. It's like a life goal for me, at this rate.

- Still working management at the hotel, whoo.

- Bonnie moved to DC, and Molly just recently moved to PA. I helped drive up there and whatnot, and not to mention we got matching Navi tattoos because why the hell not. It's a celebration of 12 years of friendship and more, knowing we did everything we said we'd do. I miss her like a burning. :| But she'll come see me for my birthday and that's all I want~ Aside from her, you know, coming back. It's funny how the two people I moved down south for actually picked up and moved up north.... :P

But spread your wings and fly, little birds. I did my big move when I was 18 and moved down here, and they need to figure out stuff for themselves. BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR MARDI GRAS. And should anything happen, they'll always have a roof down here with me.

Other than that, Connor and I are moving into a nice townhouse soon! We want to stay there for awhile, maybe make the May Sisters an aunt or something, WHO KNOWS. I'm still young and have a good bit ahead of me anyway.

Also I've been back into roleplaying like craycray. I moderate Valar over at IJ. Been in the game for a year, but the game itself has been around for a couple. *gratuitous pimp*

linachu — Sun, 06 Jul 2014 21:55:58 GMT

LONG TIME NO SEE ELJAY.

I have a long entry to eventually type up, but I just want to briefly record that on July 2nd, I saw my dad in a court room for the first time in about 7 years.

(AKA I've also been in Jersey for the past week, and just got back today and I can't get enough of Connor's face.)

IT'S BEEN AN INTERESTING MONTH. And it just started.

linachu — Sun, 13 Apr 2014 14:25:58 GMT

Picked a venue for the wedding.

When did shit get so real? I'm gonna barf everywhere!

linachu — Fri, 28 Feb 2014 22:53:21 GMT

Connor's in Vicksburg, MS working at another nuke plant for five days and I don't really know what to do with myself.

I thought it'd be awesome because HEY NO FARTING AND MY APARTMENT WILL ACTUALLY STAY CLEAN

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Goddamn feels.

linachu — Thu, 20 Feb 2014 17:08:32 GMT

Sometimes I forget I'm engaged until I look at my ring finger and think, "Damn, I should start planning this thing already."

RECENT HAPPENINGS

linachu — Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:34:29 GMT

Molly's birthday was at the end of last month and Chris and I schemed deviously to throw her a surprise birthday party! Which was fairly successful, actually. We went to dinner with them on the night of her birthday, just the four of us, which was super nice and then came back to my place to watch some Slayers, since it's on Hulu. Of course Connor's got to be the asswipe who insists on watching it dub because he doesn't want to read subtitles. Our ears bled.

So Chris had arranged a karaoke party for her and Molly usually hates anything that puts her in the center of attention, so that got her cranky. Then I told her I couldn't come because I had to pull an MOD shift at work so she got all cranky over that. So while Chris took her out to karaoke with a decent group of friends, Connor, Bonnie and I got into the house and started setting out food and shit.

Turns out Molly actually ended up liking karaoke though. Everyone was able to get to the house before Molly and Chris did, and wham, surprise when she got there! She seemed super happy and then told me that since I was such a good liar she could never trust me again. XP

Her and I ended up getting tired so we went up to her and Chris' bedroom, had drunken delirious girl talk and then decided to snuggle and fall asleep in bed. Connor and Tara had to fetch me. But really, so glad my bestie was happy and so glad to spend another birthday celebrating with her.

Comic Con was this weekend and Connor and I got free passes from my job. Friday was fun; wasn't too crowded but still a nice bit of people and we got so many fanart prints it was ridiculous. Then we went to get some sushi by the Warehouse District and came home. Saturday was a MADHOUSE though. SO crowded, all because of Matt Smith, pretty much. I didn't enjoy it as much as I did Friday but I did have lots of fun with the gang though. We tried going out on Bourbon but that, as well, was a damn madhouse. We went to one of the nightclubs and ran into Matt Smith though, hahaha!

Rae and Sid got a hotel room that night so we went back there for regular debauchery. Came home around 2am to crash though. It was exhausting. We were thinking about strolling around the con again today but Val had a bug so she kept throwing up....and sharting. :/

All in all it's been an eventful weekend, ending with a fairly lazy Sunday. Connor and I took a massive nap and then woke up to make some bacon. No regrets.

Got a looong week ahead of me though. This upcoming weekend is NBA Allstar and we're gonna be busy. Meeeh.

linachu — Wed, 05 Feb 2014 00:09:11 GMT

You know what gets on my nerves?

People that take selfies of themselves and post them on facebook with a "thought-provoking quote" about life and beauty.

Whatever boosts your self-confidence.

linachu — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 15:37:38 GMT

BUSY MONTH IS BUSY.

First half of December I was bombarded with back-to-back functions I had to set up for two straight weeks. Then we (Me, Connor, Cody, Holly, Rae, Sid, Chris, Molly and the dogs Link and Val) went up to Ida, which is a 6 hour drive and in the middle of bumfucknowhere for camping. It was cold and wet, Val got severely sick (she kept involuntarily sharting, poor thing), but my favorite part was the bonfire. I love sitting next to a fire and cuddling. Val is much better, though.

Work's also been filled with bullshit parties. There was a Hospitality Party hosted at Mardi Gras World in the Warehouse District which was fun. We saw all the new Mardi Gras floats they're working on for the upcoming year. It's $50 per person to RSVP but the company paid for us, so, whoo. Free drinks and food and live band.

Last night was the company party for all employees at the Convention Center party. I was kind of dreading it at first but it was actually pretty fun. Connor and I had a free suite for the night (wtf?), and I saw a lot of my colleagues and employees get plastered. I was dreading the mindless mingling with forced smiles but everyone cut pretty loose. Still not as crazy as the old Copeland Christmas parties I used to attend. :P

I wore black and gold. I really wanted a shovel to pretend I was the Lord of Nightmares. Tough shit that I ain't blonde, because the outfit would have been perfect.

At work right now, since it's my MOD weekend. Have contracts to type. Am procrastinating. Boo.

linachu — Wed, 27 Nov 2013 01:25:45 GMT

Last weekend was long and sick-filled. Since Connor's parents sold their house, they've been making preparations to move to their new apartment in River Ridge. It's a bit difficult to pack up an entire house you've lived in for over 16 years. I'm sad to see the house go, to be honest - Connor's dad had it built for them and it is beautiful. And was the resident party house for the longest time. But since they love scuba-diving and anything ocean related, the house was very uniquely ocean-themed. Every wall was a different shade of blue and even the cabinet knobs were either shaped like sea horses or starfish.

Connor's mom is a total hoarder though! I don't blame her - I'm the same. I like my stuff and I like to keep my stuff for awhile. She gave Connor and I some very nice kitchenware and is probably going to give us more stuff, too. They gave us this bench one of Connor's grandparents carved for his grandmother for our balcony.

I ended up bonding a lot with his mom, too. Whom I affectionately call "mama" every now and then, otherwise I'll end up calling her Miss Carol and she'd hate that kind of formality. She's got so much china and dishes it's ridiculous, but a lot of her kitchen stuff comes from her deceased mother or deceased mother-in-law. The one thing I love about Connor's family is all the family traditions they have and all the things that get passed down from generation to generation. Makes me wish I had some more stuff that used to belong to my mom. Goody's pretty much got everything she owned when she went into a nursing home and he moved in. Her kitchen stuff, decorations, furniture...meh. I think I've got the majority of the pictures, which I definitely need to go through again. Probably tonight.

But it makes me super happy when his mom tells me how much she loves me and how she's glad Connor found me. She's also a survivor of incest and sexual abuse from when she was a kid, and told me some personal stuff she's still very angry about. A lot of it is stuff it seems like she doesn't talk much about, because the more she talked about it the angrier she got and the closer she got to crying (all while we were bubble-wrapping glass). I'm glad she opened up to me though; we definitely got closer after sharing stories.

I think all the moving made me a little more sick, though. We moved all day in the rain Saturday. Sunday wasn't so bad. They've pretty much got the essentials in their new apartment and they're definitely down-sizing. Their place is smaller than ours, but Connor and I have an apartment large enough to be a decent-sized house.

This week at work we decorated the lobby for Christmas! It looks pretty good, and that's weird coming from me since I usually think all holiday decorations are gaudy. Connor's been reaaaally wanting a Christmas tree, especially since we couldn't get one last year. Jen gave me a bunch of ornaments and lights we used last year for the hotel to bring home though. So now we have decorations...but no tree. I think we're gonna go tree shopping tomorrow.

Tiggs is sitting next to my laptop looking ADORABLE right now. I don't know what it is, but cats with fat baby faces are so effing cute. Not to mention he's being a total sweetheart right now.

Speaking about pets, Holly and Cody gave me this AWESOME new bird cage! Originally they used it for when Cody had sugar gliders, then his parents used it for their love birds but wanted to downsize. It's got its own stand and wheels and it is massive. It's pretty much the cage of my dreams. Nothing but the best for my old feathery geezers. (When Ed and Dennis came down for graduation, they looked at Goody and said, "How are you still ALIVE?!")

I made vegan quesadillas today for dinner. They were actually pretty amazing and didn't taste any different from regular flour tortilla and regular cheese. I'm making Connor and I this recipe book to store in the kitchen for good and healthy meals/desserts. I've got some for Thanksgiving I want to try.

Now to join Connor on the couch and watch The Hobbit for the 348389th time... (he says it's different now since he bought the extended version. uuugh.)

linachu — Tue, 19 Nov 2013 19:50:09 GMT

Last month I posted an incredibly vague FB status about being excited and waiting the official "okay" to announce what I was excited about. Everyone thought I was pregnant, hahaha. Dumbasses.

But no. Laura had found out she was carrying Gingerican #2 and I got super excited! She and Dennis sent me a picture of Bryce wearing a "Big Brother" onesie. I talked to her today to see how she was doing and Dennis forgot to tell me that she had a miscarriage. So that conversation was awkward.

Poo. I have too many nieces and nephews already but still...GINGERICANS. (AKA a cross between a ginger and a Puerto Rican.)

linachu — Wed, 13 Nov 2013 16:28:37 GMT

Tomorrow night I will officially be done with my client from hell.

Remind me to post about the bullshit I've put up with in the past two months.

NaNo Rambles

linachu — Thu, 07 Nov 2013 04:44:21 GMT

You know, even with an outline all written out and planned, there's still that annoying possibility of you getting stuck. Which is what happened to me. I've done the skeleton of the story before - well over 50k, so that's not the problem. I've been having to tear it apart and reassemble it to where it all makes sense and it keeps the characters to there most truest origins. Everyone else I can write fluidly, but the one I've had trouble with is the Main Guy of the story.

I've had so much trouble with his background and so much trouble finding his "voice" that writing this damn novel is troublesome because he is a major part in almost ALL the scenes. If there's one character that's changed the most since the beginning, it's him. He's an important part of it all. He was still an enigma to me and I was ready to throw in the fucking towel because I'm at least 1k behind (which isn't terrible, but with my life schedule the way it is, falling behind just ONE day screws the entire scheme of things)!

I got frustrated, turned on Netflix and exercised to a TV show I'm watching. And then this quote popped up: "If you're going to be bad, be bad with purpose. Otherwise you’re not worth forgiving."

I ended up deleting and redoing almost 1k worth of the scene I was stuck in, and it flowed so much better. Not saying that my MG is a "villain" (although in the eyes of many characters, he will be considered as the villain, all for various reasons that none will ever fully agree upon), but he's the guy that does the hard things for everyone's best interest - and gets shit for it. Even though it might save their lives in the long-run, he directly hurts them to save them. Which some will never understand. I guess I didn't either until a quote like that simplified everything he is and everything he does. It's going to make this month a tad bit more easier.

linachu — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 23:53:15 GMT

I'm a busybusy beaver.

It's finally sort of starting to cool down here, I guess? It's in the high seventies right now and we're almost right into November. I'm okay with this though - I'm all tropical blood anyway. Sun's beginning to set a lot earlier now, which disappoints me. I'm on the balcony right now, which I'm converting into my own little garden, and I'm watching the sunset with the furbabies. They're more into people watching/being gargoyles though.

Connor's car has some electrical issues. Boo.

His parents sold their house recently. Their beautiful house with it's own separate apartment and pool and hottub and like 5 bathrooms. I'm actually pretty sad about it but I know that's what they want, since that house is too big for two people. They're gonna be down-sizing a lot though so Connor and I might get some stuff. They're moving right net to the hotel though, so that's pretty neat. Hopefully we'll get to see them more though.

Uuuuuhhh. Thinking of postponing the wedding to get a house first. That conversation is still very much in the works though.

Fuck this. I'm going back inside. Mosquitoes are eating me.

linachu — Thu, 10 Oct 2013 12:26:10 GMT

Goals for the next two months:

1. Work.
2. Exercise.
3. Plan for NaNo.

Surprise, surprise...

linachu — Thu, 12 Sep 2013 13:03:13 GMT

Connor's biggest sins are gluttony and sloth. Doesn't come to a surprise for anyone who knows him - he was pretty fit when we got together but, uh, relationship weight has this habit of clinging to your gut. He's gained about 20-30 love pounds. I've lost/gained about 10; it varies.

Lately he's: quit drinking Monster, quit drinking Mountain Dew, and then decided to overall quit drinking soda all together. Then last night he made a strangely healthy dish with grilled chicken and sauteed shrimp and vegetables. (Connor is a meat/cheese/potato kind of guy.)

This morning he forgot to pack a lunch so I just told him to make Wesley buy him something (he's a kid that works with Connor; he drives him to their Union classes every Tuesday and Thursday so he usually pays him with food instead of gas money). He then replies "Nah, I don't want fast food."

Don't know what happened to my fiance, don't care, but ME GUSTA.

first world problems.

linachu — Mon, 09 Sep 2013 20:59:53 GMT

On my first business trip, which is cool and all, but my biggest problem is the fact that I know I won't sleep right because I miss Connor and I need something to cuddle.

My second biggest problem is not knowing what to eat. Hm.

linachu — Mon, 19 Aug 2013 01:40:13 GMT

Things have been busy, work-wise. Hectic, actually, but eh. My schedule is all over the place because of all the new front desk agents and the re-licensing fiasco and renovations. This week will probably turn me into an alcoholic, and I'm kind of alright with that.

Got Stacie and Sam working with me though! Stacie's front desk and Sam's maintenance. I get to be one of their bosses. It's fun though.

We got a new bed. It's really high, but that's because of the box spring. We've been sleeping without a box spring for over a year. It makes a strange difference.

Our elliptical came in, but Connor put part of it on wrong and now we need a special tool to take it apart. Fun.

My car alternator died. Killed my battery too. Need to get it to a shop soon. :|

I need to better manage my time. And get a routine. Work's been eating me alive. The joys of being a salary manager.

Connor let me paint his toe nails today, because he knew it would make me smile. :P

linachu — Wed, 24 Jul 2013 02:47:13 GMT

Despite recent wedding drama from both sides, I've delved into polishing my NaNoWrimo project, which has been a very on-and-off again kind of thing. The plot and characters are still too stubborn to forget, and I'd gotten frustrated with plotholes that I kept trying to fix. I wanted to pull my hair out. This whole novel outlining by the chapter has proven handy. At least I have the skeleton of it, then I can fill it out with the characters, dialogue and thoughts. And hopefully catch all the plotholes in time.

linachu — Thu, 11 Jul 2013 23:32:33 GMT

So the position's been officially offered to me, and I'm on salary. Yay! This happened right after Connor proposed, so I've been in the way of some good news. The bad news is my alternator went to shit and my car's not running, and that's probably going to be a $500 fix right there. Sigh.

Been in a shit mood because of my period. And I've been stress snacking, and it makes me feel even worse. We have a bridesmaid dress fiting at David's Bridal for Stacie's wedding and I feel like a cow. :| That's actually an overexaggeration because I know I'm perfectly in the "middle," but the other day I was thinking about how much I miss being a size 2. I wasn't anorexic - I was really, really fit. Connor thinks I was too skinny but I don't think so. He says he adores me the way I am now but it doesn't help my mood or own body image, because I don't adore myself and therein lies the problem.

We're having an engagement party on the 19th. Nothing formal, but I hope there's not too many people coming. According to the attending list on facebook, there is. XP Sigh. Well, I'll at least have Molly with me for help. She's the maid of honor for a reason. ♥ I have the best friend in the entire world. For realz.

Connor's been insistent on adding a 4th to each side of the bridal party. He really wanted Sam as a groosmen, so I caved in and I put Stacie on my side. She's getting married in May 2014 so by the time mine rolls around she'll have some experience in WTF is going on because I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. :/

Honestly it's just cheaper to sign the papers and be done with it, but, eh.

April 20th, 2015.

linachu — Sun, 30 Jun 2013 22:59:51 GMT

So.

Yeah.

It's a thing that happened.

First and foremost, I'm still shitting metaphorical bricks. I don't even. I DON'T EVEN. Years ago I was totally fine being single and loving my freedom and fooling around for the lolz, and now there is an official ring on my finger. Everyone knew but me. Even my nieces knew.

Friday was our two year anniversary, and he had me dick around on the couch while he prepared me a three-course meal. A garden salad, then steak with mac and cheese and vegetables. While we ate, he had apple pie baking in the oven. He even lit candles and broke out a bottle of champagne. And then while I was stuffing my face like a fatty, he pulls the ring out and WHAM.

I actually picked the ring out months ago, forgot about it, but he never did. Which is surprising, because he forgets everything. I love it, though. Simple but beautiful, and it's not something he'll be paying off in the next two years.

But yeah. We picked out the date April 20th, 2015, for the immature weed joke and it gives us enough time to prepare. Stacie and Sam are getting married May 24th, 2014 and I'm a bridesmaid in that - no way am I gonna be involved in two weddings the same year! Molly, of course, has been my maid of honor before there was even someone in the picture, and the other two will be Bonnie and Mike.

I have a pinterest for this shit. A FUCKING PINTEREST.

I just don't even anymore.

linachu — Sat, 29 Jun 2013 03:18:52 GMT

Yep. Engaged. Fuuuuuuu

linachu — Fri, 28 Jun 2013 14:14:31 GMT

For our anniversary, Connor and I agreed to stay home, cook, and watch movies (including Conan the Barbarian, since it's the movie we saw together on our first date). He calls me up while I'm at work and says when I get home, he wants me to get comfy, pretty and play Mass Effect while he does all the cooking.

...

All right.

I can do this.

(Dinner so for looks like giant slabs of steak and deep-dish apple pie. Omnom.)

FEELS TIME

linachu — Sun, 23 Jun 2013 23:26:35 GMT

Friday makes two whole years with my woobie.

Not sure how I haven't sabotaged this relationship, or how he's still alive. He's taught me a lot about myself and has helped me get over a lot of intimacy issues. And he's been nothing but patient. A little derpy, but he's my derp, and I don't know what I'd do without him.

linachu — Sat, 22 Jun 2013 21:16:07 GMT

I live. So does my bird. The culprit of his illness is suspected to be a simple birdy cold, but if I want further information, I might get blood tests run on him. But he's doing a lot better and back to normal on the bright side. SO happy. Getting him a new bird cage too with Loki and Lime; I'm buying it off Holly and Cody and it is so spacious and has wheels!

Vacation was fun, although short. I'm 23 now but feel 30. I was sick the entire time, too. Never going on a simulated roller coaster ride EVER AGAIN. But eating seafood at a restaurant right on the docks of the gulf was absolutely beautiful. The beach was awesome, even though I got sand in places that should not have sand to begin with. Connor got me an inflatable floatie dragon I named Lapras and rode the waves with. It was possibly the best thing ever.

We moved right after we got back from vacation. The apartment's the size of a small house, and would be fabulous if we didn't have so many goddamn maintenance issues. The AC wasn't working for one thing, we didn't have any hot water, the closet door was broken and one of the sink faucets would not turn on. They fixed all the major problems now thankfully; it's just a matter of the small details. Otherwise, it's just swell and the animals seem to like it enough. Val keeps running in circles.

Last night, we went to Cody and Holly's and met up with Rae, Derek and Glenn. Cody and Holly got this enormous but adorable rottweiler puppy they named Loki. He's the same age as Val but so much bigger, and she didn't like him. She kept crying and hiding behind Connor and I. I need to get her used to dogs more. She does fine with Stacie's dog, Diva, but I think Loki's the first big dog she's ever reallye encountered. Even though they're the same age. I've noticed Val likes cats more, but that's because she's been around them since she was 6 weeks old. XD

Also, I woke up early today to accompany Molly to an animal shelter to get her and Chris a puppy. She found him online, fell in love, and dragged my ass all the way back to Hammond for him. The shelter felt more like dog pound to me, though. They gave her the dog right then and there - it's a mutt about 3 months old. He's got some lab, australian shepherd and beagle in him as far as we can tell. White and orangey/blonde. We named him Link, and he is the hero of time. :P He came so dirty and riddled with fleas though. Ugh. Apparently he came to the shelter as a stray but damn, he had dandriff on him and he was skinny. We brought him over to meet Val and he started eating food left outside from the neighbors, so I gave him some milk bones and he scarfed them down. Poor baby. Val was a little better with him at least.

Manager shift tonight. So sreepy though.

linachu — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 02:37:27 GMT

Goody's doing better today, I think. He's eating and he was all vocal and chirpy when I came home from work. And I bugged him today to see how his strength was and he actually bit me a bit hard, which is a good sign. (To explain, I have a weird relationship with my bird. If I annoy him, he lets me know by nipping me gently. If I continue, he bites me again, a little harder. If I show signs of not stopping he really bites me but never breaks the skin and kind of glares...and yes, cockatiels glare.)

But he still looks...sick to me. Weak. I'm definitely taking him to the vet but oddly enough, finding an avian veterinary is a little difficult. The one I want to take him to is booked until next week. It's not an emergency but I don't want to wait until it BECOMES an emergency, either. He definitely needs a check up. I have never seen him like this. And maybe it is old age. I don't know.

I cried a lot last night. I'm on my period too so I'm all out of whack. I called Ed and talked to him, since this bird has been part of our family for so long. Mom was the one that taught him all his whistles and mimics. Whenever he does die, he's getting cremated and put by her ashes. I just get all choked up when I think about him being gone, because I really don't remember how life was before we got him. He's always BEEN there. He's such a trooper, still recognizes my brothers after all these years...letting him go is something I can't imagine doing.

Connor made me take some nyquil to sleep because my nose was so ridiculously stuffy. Did some therapeutic good will shopping with Molly.

I'm hoping it's treatable, whatever he has. And if it's something that can't be treated, I want to know so I can be there. I still can't imagine letting him go. And I'm so afraid of not being there when he does.