River's Run My Flow Of Ideas

New Fic: SGA Punishing Good Deeds (or Don't Ask, Don't Die Hard)

2025-07-20T21:24:14Z

Title: Punishing Good Deeds (or Don't Ask, Don't Die Hard)

Genre: Slash, h/c, humor, etc

Characters: John and Rodney, the Team with a few others thrown in for good measure

Rating: T.

Word count: ~ 44,300

Warning: You know me, I always fix them in the end.

Spoilers: Pretty much anything through any season.

Author Notes: See above

Summary: Ends up a wedding on Atlantis is the least of John and Rodney's worries. They have to deal with bow ties, drone attacks, and an invasion of the city, all while (im)patiently awaiting the official repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

SHE LIVES!!!!

I know, it has been forever since I've posted, well, anything, much less a fic. Life has been crazy, but good. Family is doing great...both kids out of college and employeed in the field of their chosing with full benefits and the like. Work is... well, chaos. I was asked to take on a very large project, that just grew even larger over past few years. Then a few months ago my boss was let go and I was put in his position as acting director, and also still have my day job. So now I have the other large project in the company under my purview. So I'm now res, ponsible for over $1Billion dollars worth of construction. (Put pinky to the corner of my mouth.) While I'm good, its been some very very long hours and that meant writing had to take the backseat.

But then, some things changed here in the States in January, and while I don't want to get into politics here, I've found it heartbreaking to see all the hard won advances being overturned or threatened. As a result, I wanted a little comfort and I turned back to the boys and this particular version of them. This version means alot to me...they are some of the first ones I wrote as solo slash, and I've always loved how they were so dorky and clueless to begin with, but then, once they realized what they had, they were all in, and never looked back. I also decided to pull in a few familiar faces from another fic that folks enjoyed with original characters. Although I think you can follow along without any homework, I highly recommend you read three of my other fics first that fall in the same universe first... Gift Horse, Careful Wishing, and since I pull in Slater and his team, Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda. I just posted all three of them on AO3 along with the new one under the Colloquialism Series. This is set several years after these fics and after the end of the series.

As usual, the fic just kept growing and went from fluff to plot and has a variety of codas and flashbacks (so freaking many flashbacks...flashbacks within flashbacks).

So, without further ado...

Go! Read! Enjoy!

Title: Punishing Good Deeds (or Don't Ask, Don't Die Hard)

Genre: Slash, h/c, humor, etc

Characters: John and Rodney, the Team with a few others thrown in for good measure

Rating: T.

Word count: ~ 44,300

Warning: You know me, I always fix them in the end.

Spoilers: Pretty much anything through any season.

Author Notes: See above

FIC: The Extraordinarily Complex Task of Condensing a 920-Year-Old Romance...The Old Guard (slash)

2020-08-22T20:54:24Z

Title: The Extraordinarily Complex Task of Condensing a 920-Year-Old Romance into a 145-Word Speech (While Being Abducted)
Genre: Slash, h/c, angst, humor, action, etc
Characters: Predominantly Joe/Yusuf and Nicky/Nicolo but the rest of the immortals show up, as well.
Rating: T.
Word count: 47,380 (What can I say, when you have nearly a 1000 years to play with, there's a lot of story to tell)
Warning: Canon era violence and attitudes
Spoilers: The comics and the movie
Author Notes: So I watched They Old Guard on Netflix and kind of fell in love with it. It has kick ass female leads, people of color, and basically takes the bury your gays trope and says 'fuck this, not only are they going to live, but they are immortal and happily in love since the crusades and will tell you that to your homophobic faces.' Needless to say, I really fell in love with Joe and Nicky and was so happy the writer of comic, who also wrote the screenplay, only allowed it to be made if they kept Joe and Nicky as immortal husbands. I've also never seen a movie stick so close to the source material that there are whole scenes and speeches that come straight from the pages of the comic, like the one that is the influence for this fic. Sure there are some serious differences, but the core of it is the same. If you haven't watched the movie or read the comics, recommend both.

This fic is an amalgam of both the comic and the movie. The lines of the speech Joe gives in the van that make up the section titles are from the comic, which is actually longer and more romantic than even the one from the movie. The wording of Nicky's response is also the one from the comic. Andy's characterization is a little more in line with the crassness of her character in the comic, as well. But it's Quynh, not Noriko in the fic, and the historical timeline is closer to the movie than the comic, and the events in the movie are used in the fic.

Also, I tried to be as historically accurate in the fic as I could, but I'm not a historian by any means, so I'm sure there are plenty of mistakes. The main historical exception being that the thoughts and some speech is probably more aligned with modern patterns, but seeing as it's written in American English, and I don't read or write Arabic, Italian, Persian, Romanshe, or any other language really, I took a little artistic liberties. If you are interested, I highly recommend listening to the Hard Core History podcast to learn more about some of the periods in this fic. Be prepared to spend several days doing if you do. His pod on the Mongolian Khans is fantastic, but over 20 hrs long.

Finally, I apologize that it's one long fic instead of chapters. I know it's easier to read divided down, but time was not on my side, nor was patience in formatting it in.

No beta, all mistakes are mine.

Summary: At times, it seemed like all they did was no more than a single raindrop of hope in an ocean of despair and chaos, but together all those raindrops had evidently helped. Copley had captured it all, the last one hundred and fifty years of their lives condensed down into a few dozen photos and newspaper clippings. It seemed so small, and yet, all encompassing at the same time.

Kind of like how a declaration of love in a van during an abduction had condensed down all nine hundred and twenty years of an epic romance into a few hundred words. It seemed an impossible feat, but then, his Yusuf was just the kind of guy to pull it off.

Or, the stories behind the speech in the van.

Posted at AO3, link in the title above.

Enjoy!

FIC: How to Solve a Problem with Imaginary Numbers- H50 Slash

2019-01-26T22:37:55Z

Title: How to S olve a Problem with Imaginary Numbers
Genre: Slash, h/c, angst, humor, etc
Characters: Steve and Danny and oh, hell, most everyone plays in this one.
Rating: T.
Word count: 35,681 (Seriously, I can't write short in the fandom)
Warning: None
Spoilers: Anything up through the current season.
Author Notes: I've just thrown in the towel and have to admit that it is impossible for me to write short fic involving these two. Any other fandom I can write a simple 10,000 word fic, but for some reason these always turn out three times longer than planned. This falls in my How To Universe, so reading the others will help but isn't absolutely necessary. No beta, so all mistakes are my own. The fic is complete, but divided into chapters for ease of reading on AO3. Click the title above for the link.

Summary:After an exposure to drugs, Danny starts experiencing hallucinations, leaving Steve to be the one desperately trying to hold things together.

FIC: How to Make a Singular Noun Possessive- H50 Slash

2018-09-15T05:47:48Z

Title: How to Make a Singular Noun Possessive
Genre: Slash, h/c, angst, humor, etc
Characters: Steve and Danny and oh, hell, most everyone plays in this one.
Rating: T.
Word count: 51,757 (Yeah, I know, it's even longer than the first one)
Warning: None
Spoilers: Set 6 months after the relationship is established in How to Conjugate a Relationship. It's not technically necessary to read that fic, or the follow up How to Define Home, but alot of small things will make more sense if you do. Given the timeline, the fic would go into season 9, but anything beyond season 8 is beyond my magic 8 ball's ability to predict. However, anything up to season 8 can be and is hit pretty hard.
Author Notes: So, River, what did you do during the hiatus? Oh, you know, just wrote a follow up fic that was even longer than the original. This fic is set about six months after they establish their relationship in How to Conjugate a Relationship. It isn't absolutely necessary to have read that fic first, but some things will make more sense if you do. Also, this fic is flashback central...I think there are even flashbacks within flashbacks. These relate to missing scenes from canon as well as my previous fics. This fic is complete. It is broken into chapters on AO3 for ease of reading since it is so long.

Summary:When Steve is shot and kidnapped, it's up to Danny and the rest of the team to find him before it's too late.

FIC: Running Interference- SGA (Gen)

2018-07-05T01:00:15Z

Title: Running Interference

Genre: Gen, h/c, humor, etc
Characters: The Team with a few others thrown in for good measure
Rating: T.
Word count: ~ 18,400
Warning: Things don't look so good for Rodney for a bit, but you know me, I always fix them in the end.
Spoilers: Pretty much anything through any season.
Author Notes: This fic was written for the Jumper Five zine that premiered at MediaWest in 2017 and was edited by the wonderful brate and her team. I've had the honor of being in all of the Jumper zines, as well as her Crossing the Gate zines, and with all the others, it has been a pleasure to work on these zines. The editors made improved on the fic immensely.
Summary: Sometimes things can't be fixed...but sometimes they can, especially when your team mates are willing to run interference.

Just click on the title and it will take you to my AO3 page where the fic is posted.
Enjoy!

FIC: How to Define Home, H50 Slash

2018-05-18T23:46:48Z

Realized I forgot to post the link for this fic here....

Title: How To Define Home
Genre: Slash, h/c, angst, humor, etc
Characters: Steve and Danny.
Rating: T.
Word count: ~ 7,200
Warning: None
Spoilers: Set mid-season 8 but anything and everything up to that point is fair game.
Author Notes: Set in the same universe as my other H50 fic, How to Conjugate a Relationship, but you don't need to read that one to read this one.
Summary:Lou Grover: “What did you do? Take the scenic route or something?”
Danny Williams: “Long story short, this idiot made me get into a kung fu fight with another idiot”
Here’s the long story…
Missing scene from Season 8, Episode 23, because where were they for so long between that call from Lou and going back to the Palace?

FIC: How to Conjugate a Relationship- H50 Slash

2018-02-06T05:40:35Z

First off, yes, I'm still alive! Suffice to say, life in general is good, work is crazy, and writing has been pretty much nonexistent for some time because of the the work and life thing. However, against all odds, I have written a new fic in a new fandom.

So, rewind to about August of this past year and hubby says, "Hey, I watch a couple of episodes of Hawaii Five-0 last nigh on Netflix. It wasn't bad." I say, "Really?!? Hawaii Five-0? Well, maybe I'll watch a couple eps while you're gone this weekend and see what I think." Fast forward to Sunday evening when hubby returns...."I'm eight episodes in and you need to sit down and catch up now!" After that, we averaged about a season a week. So, yeah, we binge watched seven seasons in two months and finally caught up to the current season 8. All I have to say is WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS SHOW SOONER?!?!?

It is seriously like fanfic on the screen and the promos for the show tell you nothing about the stuff that makes it so damn fun. There is honest to God H/C! There's humor, there's snark, there's TEAM! (Dear God how I have missed TEAM LOVE!) There's bromance, and holy hell, they say I LOVE YOU to each other!

So, yeah, I wrote H50 fic that was supposed to be a short little vingette inspired by an article about how young men these days prefer snuggling with their friends more than dating women. That turned into several vingettes then suddenly this overarching case appeared, that grew to become the FIC THAT ATE RIVER'S BRAIN.

Anywho... here's the deets:

Title: How to Conjugate a Relationship
Genre: Slash, h/c, angst, humor, etc
Characters: Steve and Danny and oh, hell, most everyone plays in this one.
Rating: T.
Word count: ~ 46,500 (Yes, you read the right and no, it is not a typo)
Warning: None
Spoilers: Set mid-season 8 but anything and everything up to that point is fair game.
Author Notes: See above and more at AO3 where it is posted.
Summary:Steve and Danny flirt, seduce, share a bed, solve a case, and fall in love...but not necessarily in that order.

Also, just an FYI, I'll have an expired SGA gen zine fic to post here in a few months from the final Jumper Zine.

FIC: There But By The Grace Of Quantum Physics Go I (Gen SGA/Sherlock crossover)

2015-06-27T00:09:53Z

Title: There But By The Grace Of Quantum Physics Go I
Genre: Gen, humor, etc
Characters: Sheppard and McKay, Sherlock and Watson
Rating: T.
Word count: ~ 12,000
Warning: None
Spoilers: Pretty much anything through any season of both shows.
Author Notes: This fic was originally published in the Cross the Gate 2 zine and is a sequel to Playing Nice in the Sandbox. Although you don't have to read that one first to follow this one, it helps with some details. Huge thanks to brate and her team for making the fic better. A huge thanks to spacedmonkey for the Brit picks.
Summary: The presence of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson is requested at the SGC. Although, it seems another Holmes and Watson have already arrived. Sequel to last year's "Playing in the Sandbox."

Just click on the llnk and it will take you to my AO3 page where the fic is posted.....http://archiveofourown.org/works/4215270

Enjoy!

FIC: Playing Nice in the Sandbox (Gen SGA/Sherlock crossover)

2015-02-08T19:49:20Z

Title: Playing Nice in the Sandbox

Genre: Gen some h/c, action/adventure, humor, etc
Characters: Sheppard and McKay, Sherlock and Watson, Mycroft, and Moriarty (sort of...)
Rating: T.
Word count: ~ 32,000
Warning: None
Spoilers: Pretty much anything through any season of both shows.
Author Notes: Never in a million years would I have though to cross over SGA with Sherlock, but the lovely brate talked me into it for her Zine Crossing the Gate. What follows is all her fault and made all the better by her and her editorial staff's wonderful work. A huge thanks to spacedmonkey for the Brit picks. All remnants of my American self are my own and no reflection of her genuine Britishness. Also, I guess my New Years resolution should be to post expired zine fics in less than 6 month after they expire. I'll try to do better when the sequel expires this summer.
Summary: When Sheppard and McKay need to access a remote area of British occupied Afghanistan in search of a possible Ancient outpost, they are assigned a British military liaison in the form of Captain John Watson...and his flatmate, whose brother has coerced them both into taking the assignment.

Just click on the title and it will take you to my AO3 page where the fic is posted.

Enjoy!

New Zine Fic: There But By the Grace of Quantum Physics Go I

2014-05-14T03:33:34Z

Wow, I really should be better at posting more than once a year, but unfortunately, that's about how often I ever get the chance to write a fic. And I'm highly negligent in even posting this notice of a new zine fic that will debut at MediaWest this year. Brate and her crew have once more convinced me to write a crossover fic for Crossing the Gate volume II. The zine features cross over fics between SGA and/or SG1 and other fandoms such as Mag 7, Teen Wolf, Person Of Interest, Big Bang Theory, Sentinel, and yes, mine, which is a follow up to my SGA/Sherlock fic I did for last years zine. This time there's twice the Rodney, twice the Sherlock, and four times the Johns thanks to a quantum mirror and a peek into a multiverse where things got a little jumbled. Details from Brate are bellow:

We're back again with another edition of "Cross the Gate." We asked our authors for more stories with multiple fandoms crossed with Stargate SG-1 and/or Stargate: Atlantis, and they came through in spectacular fashion!
"Cross the Gate Vol. II" will be premiering Memorial Day weekend, May 22-26 2014 at the MediaWest Convention in Lansing, Michigan.

http://www.thestade.com/crossthegate2.html

Contributing authors:

liketheriver

Sheila Paulson

Yum@

Deb Walsh

Blue Abyss

JJJunky

Brate

The zine format is a perfect-bound 6"x9" paperback, and contains 242 pages of fic. Story titles and summaries are listed at the site. All of the stories are brand new, and will not be posted online for one year after publication.

Cross the Gate Vol. II is $20 in person at the con, and $25.60 mail (cont. U.S.). We take Paypal, or you can email me for an address where you can send a check or money order.

Please be aware, this will be a limited print run. Once we run out, the zine will no longer be available.

I will be posting last years zine fic, Playing Nice in the Sandbox, around the end of the month once it expires. So you don't have any excuse not to go buy this gorgeous zine (I received my trib copy just last week!).

Go! Order! Read! Enjoy! Celebrate fandom!

FIC: Never Say Never (I Might Like You Better If We Slept Together) (SGA AU Slash)

2013-06-15T16:54:13Z

Title: Never Say Never (I Might Like You Better if We Slept Together) Or Five Time John and Rodney Tried to Keep Secrets and One Time They No Longer Had To
Genre: slash with some h/c, romance, humor, etc
Characters: John and Rodney
Rating: T.
Word count: ~ 17,700
Warning: None
Spoilers: Not much since its AU but it has shades of actual events
Author Notes: Koschka wanted a slashy follow up to Never Wanted to Dance (With Nobody but You), my AU spy fic from way back in 2008. This was supposed to be her Christmas present but it turned into an early 4th of July gift. Better late than never. just fair warning, if you haven't read the first fic, this one won't make much sense. Also, the first is Gen and this is Slash!
Summary:If being a spy wasn't dangerous enough, Sheppard and McKay have to go and fall in love. Missing scenes and slash follow-up to Never Wanted to Dance (With Nobody But You).

Both the original and this new follow-up can be found on my AO3 account here.

My tweets

2013-06-07T19:00:47Z

Fri, 09:51: RT @TEAVANA: Tweet, Tweet: Our Treat! @TEAVANA in your cup? RT & tweet a pic of your cup. We'll select 5 followers to win their perfect cup…
Fri, 10:05: "@TEAVANA: Tweet, Tweet: Our Treat! @TEAVANA in your cup? Hitting 110� today. BlackBerry Mojito iced to keep cool! http://t.co/w2TK8rizV9

My tweets

2013-05-27T19:00:50Z

Mon, 08:47: As a matter of fact, I am in Portland. #voodoodonuts http://t.co/zm8enHB2Mw

My tweets

2013-05-13T19:01:06Z

Sun, 21:59: Cross the Gate Zine with new fic by Me! http://t.co/sw8c0YAfbh

Cross the Gate Zine with new fic by Me!

2013-05-13T04:59:50Z

As most of you know, I've contributed fics to the Jumper series of zines over the past several years. It's always great to work with Brate and her team of editors and they always put out a high quality zine. This year, however, Brate decided to try something new and put together a zine full of fics that cross over SGA and/or SG1 with any other fandom. When Brate sent me the invite, she also asked that I consider doing something I never expected to see, muchless write myself...SGA crossed with Sherlock. While I love both fandoms dearly, all I could think was, how in the world would those two fandoms ever meet? I mean, they have nothing in common.... other than both have primary characters named John who had horrific experiences in Afghanistan prior to meeting up with an obnoxious genius who simultaneously turned their world upside down while making it all worth while again.

So, yeah, I lost a little bit of what's left of my mind, and wrote the fic.

It's called Playing Nice in the Sandbox, and it revolves around Sheppard and McKay investigating a mysterious ping that communicating with the gate from Afghanistan. John Watson has been reactivated back into the Army by the British IOA representaive (cough...Mycroft..cough), and of course, Sherlock isn't going to stand for him going alone. Needless to say, they all run into much trouble, both alien and insurgent in nature.

Information on the Zine from the lovely Brate is posted behind the cut, with a link to the website where you can order it. The website also has the list of all of the other fics and brief synopsis. There's everything from Supernatural to Magnificent 7, Real Ghostbusters, Star Trek, and NCIS. I received my copy in the mail this week, and let me tell you, it is beautifully bound and I can't wait to start reading the fics!

So, go! Order! Read! And if you're going to MediaWest this year, you can even pick one up in person.

Hello, everyone! From the people who brought you the Jumper zine series comes a
brand new Stargate crossover zine: "Cross the Gate." Basically, we invited our
authors to cross any fandom with Stargate SG-1 and/or Stargate: Atlantis, and I
must say I am very proud with the end result.

Cross the Gate will be premiering Memorial Day weekend 2013 at the MediaWest
Convention in Lansing, Michigan. We had so much fun this year, and have a great
big zine full of great stories.

http://www.thestade.com/crossthegate.html

Contributing authors:
liketheriver
Sheila Paulson
Yum@
Blue Abyss
JJJunky
Gemini
Brate

The zine format is a perfect-bound paperback, and contains 306 pages of fic.
Story titles and summaries are listed at the site. All of the stories are brand
new, and will not be posted online for one year after publication.

The zine is $22 in person at the con, and $25 mail (cont. U.S.), other postage
at the site. We take Paypal, or you can email me for an address where you can
send a check or money order.

Please be aware, this will be a limited print run. Once we run out, the zine
will no longer be available anywhere.

I look forward to seeing you at the con, or hearing from you online!

Thanks,
Brate

My tweets

2013-05-12T19:01:12Z

Sun, 06:32: Happy Mother's Day! (I fear this is a glimpse into my future) http://t.co/gUU97mfBVn

My tweets

2013-05-02T19:01:13Z

Wed, 21:57: Disappointment=finding the milk's spoiled. Perseverance=skip the milk & eat the cookies anyway...Or maybe it's just hunger #reallifelesson

My tweets

2013-03-30T19:01:08Z

Sat, 07:27: RT @MomsDemand: Why do we ban chocolate Easter eggs to protect children, but not assault weapons? http://t.co/aMnFqhMWTN #GunSense

My tweets

2013-03-03T20:00:53Z

Sat, 17:15: @EddieMcClintock at 3 son sang his ABCs along w/Korn. At 7 he loved Rage Against Machine. Now at 13 it's LMFAO. #prepareyourselffortheworst

My tweets

2013-02-27T20:00:58Z

Tue, 18:44: Son of a bitch, why's it seem like all I do is add fucking curse words to my damn Swype dictionary? I shit you not, it's a pain in the ass.

My tweets

2013-02-20T20:00:56Z

Wed, 06:29: @Comic_Con website says you know problems with registration. Is there a way those of us affected can get tickets if have screenshot?

My tweets

2013-02-18T20:00:57Z

Mon, 07:27: Wrote an hour & laptop popped up blue screen of death. Now running diag/repair. Praying I don't get to end & see YOU ARE FUCKED on screen.

My tweets

2013-02-16T20:00:44Z

Sat, 10:16: People in waiting room after me got 4 day tickets. I did what I was told. Didn't refresh. Spun for hour never ... http://t.co/1uZ9zfMn

My tweets

2013-02-07T20:00:52Z

Wed, 12:11: Fangirl go squeeeee! RT @Fandango Han Solo and Boba Fett to star in the first two #StarWars spinoffs! http://t.co/wDvfd9aG

My tweets

2013-01-26T20:00:53Z

Fri, 22:36: I unlocked the Django Unchained Box Office sticker on #GetGlue! http://t.co/MLdqA49P