I left a good job in the city, working for the man every night and day
As some of you know, based on a job-hunting email I sent out recently, I am seriously looking for a new job. That has gotten ramped up, and it is now official:
I will be leaving McKinstry on or before March 30.
Yes, that's about 6 weeks away. No, I don't have anything lined up YET.
This is a mutual decision that I've reached with both of my bosses (The Boss J's - Jeanne (immediate) and Jennifer [my original boss, before they brought in middle-management, she is a step removed now]). This all started about 3 weeks or so ago, when my 2011 Year-End Review happened, and it was bad. Seriously concerning for all involved. And what it came down to was a choice, that I had to make: Either buck up and be more than "just fine" at my job, or start looking outside of McK. I could have waited it out some more here, see if something would come available that I could transfer to in 6 months or a year. There's a certain amount of stability in that path, especially with a company that I've been invested with for 6 and a half years.
But the thought of staying with this job, which has a high burn-out rate (most people only dispatch 2-3 years. As of January, I've been doing it for a decade...), made me physically sick. Stomach cramps, anxiety attacks. This is no bueno, and it's no way to live, quite frankly. And it's no way to be an employee, or to have an employee from their perspective. It is in everyone's best interest that I leave to find new opportunities, get new training, learn new things, have new experiences that are simply not going to manifest here in the foreseeable future. This allows the managers to get someone in who is going to be passionate, engaged, and eager in this job - all the things that I have tapped out. I am at the bottom of my barrel, so it's time to find another barrel.
After much discussion, the Boss J's and I came to an agreement, based on the projected timeline of how long it will take them to interview, hire and bring on board a replacement, and we put it at about 6 weeks, hence the March 30 date. We've made a mutual committment to each other that if I improve my attitude, help improve team moral and make this an easier transition for all involved, and they will commit to not firing me before the agreed-upon date and support my needs for interviews and appointments. I have already done the attitude adjustment for the last couple of weeks, which they recognized and appreciated - if there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I can do this job with a short-term blast of energy.
I am totally convinced that if I had not made this decision, and discussed it with the Boss J's, that I would eventually be fired for poor job performance. I would disagree - I do my job, but not exactly happy about it. Still, I DO MY JOB. They saw it differently, and maybe that's valid, too. At least this way, I have the opportunity to leave on my terms, with room to make other plans (and backup plans!), and not burn any bridges. McK is still a good company to work for, I just can't do this job any longer.
The dispatch team was informed yesterday, and the Boss J's will inform the rest of the department today or Monday. They are doing it this early in part to be open and above-board with everyone. Otherwise, the rumor mill starts and pretty soon I'm being fired for an affair with the boss's husband or something. Six weeks gives a LOT of time for people to prepare, transition, and accept the idea instead of just two weeks, or even a day's notice. People will know that this is a GOOD thing for me, that it is supported by management, and not a bad, dirty, little secret.
I'm a little excited to finally have an end in sight, but I am absolutely terrified of not knowing what is going to happen. Some people are totally fine with major swings of fortune, but I like a LITTLE more stability in my life. Obviously. See also: 6 and a half years here, buying a house, etc. My parents, who are more old-fashioned, had a knee-jerk reaction of unsupportive, angry, judgement calls. One response was, "well, you might as well just sell all your stuff and put a For Sale sign up, because you're going to lose the house." I told them to STFU if they can't be supportive! Part of their problem is that they have a very narrow view of my options, and I am taking a much broader approach. Things I am considering include (in no particular order):
- Finding full-time, permanent employ with full benefits package (okay, this one IS actually at the top of my list). Even better with a company reasonably close to home and with a creative bent to the job
- Consider any combination of temp work, part-time and applying for unemployment. Silver lining of this one is that I get more experiences (more on that in a minute)
- Bring in a housemate (probably in the basement, but maybe the loft is more legal). $500-600 rent would help to bridge a gap left by making less than I currently do - which is most likely going to happen regardless of full-time or part-time
- Hooking on the street corner. LOL I JUST KIDDING. :P See also: find sugar daddy. STILL KIDDING!
What I find I'm running into is that I'm very experienced in a very narrow field - and it's not one that I want to continue in. So in order to get somewhere I DO want to go, I need to swim upstream and fight harder. I'm 80-90% qualified for a lot of the jobs I've applied for, but the market is such that people with EXACTLY those requirements are immediately available. If a job for exactly my job opened up somewhere else I would be eminently qualified, but I would so hesitate to take it - yes, it would be in a different environment but that's not my problem anymore. We had a major switch in atmosphere around here about a year ago, and for a few months that was great. And then it fizzled out because it's the job itself that is sucking my soul. So from an objective standpoint, I really do need to get more well-rounded things to put on my resume. I'm from a liberal-arts background - I totally understand the importance of having experience and education that creates a more desirable employee. Nothing exists in a vacuum, and that includes employment. So, maybe taking two part-time jobs in the short-term gives me two-for-the-price-of-one, so to speak, and could actually help me in the long-term. I don't know - it's just a thought.
The times, they are a-changin'. The job market is on a bit of an upswing right now, so I'm hoping that will work in my favor. Also, this thing I heard about recently on the news, called the "Quit Factor." It's part of an unemployment recovery process, where someone (like me) leaves my job to go on to better (or at least other) things, therefore opening up MY position to someone else. Someone most likely had to leave their current job in order for me to take it. It's a positive cycle - sort of the opposite of a maelstrom or downward spiral. Bottom-up economics, perhaps, rather than trickle-down, because we can be seen as pulling people up rather than letting it roll down.
Leaving a job is uncharted territory for me, at least as an adult. Previous jobs ended because I graduated and moved to another city. That's not what's going to happen here - change is not going to happen TO me, so I need to make it happen FOR me. It's part of growing up and being a mutherfucking adult, I guess! Too bad I still feel like I'm just playing dress-up in some random adult's skin most of the time. Buying a house, owning my car, staying up all night, leaving a job - these are things I thought about as a child, but it still doesn't seem real sometimes.
So, there it is. New life adventure. Scared to bits. Kinda excited. Totally relieved.
I've got some other stuff I want to post on, but for now, I need to take some computer skills tutorials before I take the test for my recruiter at Business Careers! Wish me luck!
I will be leaving McKinstry on or before March 30.
Yes, that's about 6 weeks away. No, I don't have anything lined up YET.
This is a mutual decision that I've reached with both of my bosses (The Boss J's - Jeanne (immediate) and Jennifer [my original boss, before they brought in middle-management, she is a step removed now]). This all started about 3 weeks or so ago, when my 2011 Year-End Review happened, and it was bad. Seriously concerning for all involved. And what it came down to was a choice, that I had to make: Either buck up and be more than "just fine" at my job, or start looking outside of McK. I could have waited it out some more here, see if something would come available that I could transfer to in 6 months or a year. There's a certain amount of stability in that path, especially with a company that I've been invested with for 6 and a half years.
But the thought of staying with this job, which has a high burn-out rate (most people only dispatch 2-3 years. As of January, I've been doing it for a decade...), made me physically sick. Stomach cramps, anxiety attacks. This is no bueno, and it's no way to live, quite frankly. And it's no way to be an employee, or to have an employee from their perspective. It is in everyone's best interest that I leave to find new opportunities, get new training, learn new things, have new experiences that are simply not going to manifest here in the foreseeable future. This allows the managers to get someone in who is going to be passionate, engaged, and eager in this job - all the things that I have tapped out. I am at the bottom of my barrel, so it's time to find another barrel.
After much discussion, the Boss J's and I came to an agreement, based on the projected timeline of how long it will take them to interview, hire and bring on board a replacement, and we put it at about 6 weeks, hence the March 30 date. We've made a mutual committment to each other that if I improve my attitude, help improve team moral and make this an easier transition for all involved, and they will commit to not firing me before the agreed-upon date and support my needs for interviews and appointments. I have already done the attitude adjustment for the last couple of weeks, which they recognized and appreciated - if there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I can do this job with a short-term blast of energy.
I am totally convinced that if I had not made this decision, and discussed it with the Boss J's, that I would eventually be fired for poor job performance. I would disagree - I do my job, but not exactly happy about it. Still, I DO MY JOB. They saw it differently, and maybe that's valid, too. At least this way, I have the opportunity to leave on my terms, with room to make other plans (and backup plans!), and not burn any bridges. McK is still a good company to work for, I just can't do this job any longer.
The dispatch team was informed yesterday, and the Boss J's will inform the rest of the department today or Monday. They are doing it this early in part to be open and above-board with everyone. Otherwise, the rumor mill starts and pretty soon I'm being fired for an affair with the boss's husband or something. Six weeks gives a LOT of time for people to prepare, transition, and accept the idea instead of just two weeks, or even a day's notice. People will know that this is a GOOD thing for me, that it is supported by management, and not a bad, dirty, little secret.
I'm a little excited to finally have an end in sight, but I am absolutely terrified of not knowing what is going to happen. Some people are totally fine with major swings of fortune, but I like a LITTLE more stability in my life. Obviously. See also: 6 and a half years here, buying a house, etc. My parents, who are more old-fashioned, had a knee-jerk reaction of unsupportive, angry, judgement calls. One response was, "well, you might as well just sell all your stuff and put a For Sale sign up, because you're going to lose the house." I told them to STFU if they can't be supportive! Part of their problem is that they have a very narrow view of my options, and I am taking a much broader approach. Things I am considering include (in no particular order):
- Finding full-time, permanent employ with full benefits package (okay, this one IS actually at the top of my list). Even better with a company reasonably close to home and with a creative bent to the job
- Consider any combination of temp work, part-time and applying for unemployment. Silver lining of this one is that I get more experiences (more on that in a minute)
- Bring in a housemate (probably in the basement, but maybe the loft is more legal). $500-600 rent would help to bridge a gap left by making less than I currently do - which is most likely going to happen regardless of full-time or part-time
- Hooking on the street corner. LOL I JUST KIDDING. :P See also: find sugar daddy. STILL KIDDING!
What I find I'm running into is that I'm very experienced in a very narrow field - and it's not one that I want to continue in. So in order to get somewhere I DO want to go, I need to swim upstream and fight harder. I'm 80-90% qualified for a lot of the jobs I've applied for, but the market is such that people with EXACTLY those requirements are immediately available. If a job for exactly my job opened up somewhere else I would be eminently qualified, but I would so hesitate to take it - yes, it would be in a different environment but that's not my problem anymore. We had a major switch in atmosphere around here about a year ago, and for a few months that was great. And then it fizzled out because it's the job itself that is sucking my soul. So from an objective standpoint, I really do need to get more well-rounded things to put on my resume. I'm from a liberal-arts background - I totally understand the importance of having experience and education that creates a more desirable employee. Nothing exists in a vacuum, and that includes employment. So, maybe taking two part-time jobs in the short-term gives me two-for-the-price-of-one, so to speak, and could actually help me in the long-term. I don't know - it's just a thought.
The times, they are a-changin'. The job market is on a bit of an upswing right now, so I'm hoping that will work in my favor. Also, this thing I heard about recently on the news, called the "Quit Factor." It's part of an unemployment recovery process, where someone (like me) leaves my job to go on to better (or at least other) things, therefore opening up MY position to someone else. Someone most likely had to leave their current job in order for me to take it. It's a positive cycle - sort of the opposite of a maelstrom or downward spiral. Bottom-up economics, perhaps, rather than trickle-down, because we can be seen as pulling people up rather than letting it roll down.
Leaving a job is uncharted territory for me, at least as an adult. Previous jobs ended because I graduated and moved to another city. That's not what's going to happen here - change is not going to happen TO me, so I need to make it happen FOR me. It's part of growing up and being a mutherfucking adult, I guess! Too bad I still feel like I'm just playing dress-up in some random adult's skin most of the time. Buying a house, owning my car, staying up all night, leaving a job - these are things I thought about as a child, but it still doesn't seem real sometimes.
So, there it is. New life adventure. Scared to bits. Kinda excited. Totally relieved.
I've got some other stuff I want to post on, but for now, I need to take some computer skills tutorials before I take the test for my recruiter at Business Careers! Wish me luck!