I feel terribly alone.
And I don’t know when exactly this gap opened.

I have friends I can count on. The kind you call in real emergencies. The ones who would drop everything if something truly went wrong. And maybe that’s part of the problem: life rarely happens in emergencies.

It happens in the quiet.
In the in-between.
In moments that don’t feel urgent enough to justify a call, but heavy enough to follow you through the day.

I’ve entered a new relationship last year. One that didn’t come from dating apps or intention setting, but from proximity, timing, surprise. One that unfolded slowly.

With it, things come up: Old fears, old patterns, flashbacks I didn’t ask for. Things I’m actively regulating on my end. Things I’d like to talk about - not to be reassured, but to be witnessed. And here’s where it gets complicated: