Damn it’s cold. It’s Friday afternoon and I’ve errands to run. The weather is nasty and it’s starting to snow. I run into Walmart because it’s the closest store with one stop shopping in my neighbourhood. Saves gas, time and energy. I grab a buggy (a big mistake).

In the card department, I pick out a birthday card with infinite care. This is time consuming. Then I rush over to the cosmetics department for some moisture cream and face wash: both Nivea for Mature Skin. I’ll need some soon anyway so I might as well get it now. There’s the book aisle. I’ve read a borrowed copy of Stephen King’s latest novel: 11-22-63, but I want a copy of my own.  I’ll check out what kind of discount is being offered. Forget it; I’ll wait to buy a copy later.

Might as well wander over to the produce department while I’m here. Will there be any blueberries today, I wonder? Oh Great! Three pints for five dollars! Many other times when I’ve come looking for some, there was no hint of any. Then I remember that I‘ll be out of yogurt and milk soon. Look at that. Butter’s on sale today. Good idea to store extra in the freezer at this price. My buggy is starting to look pretty loaded. Better get out of here before I get carried away. I only came in for the birthday card after all so why did I grab a buggy?

While rushing back towards the cash registers, I notice a special on a two-pack of whole chickens for just $12.00. I’d be nuts to pass that up. In the refrigerator unit just around the corner from produce, I notice small plastic containers of baby spinach for only $2.00 each. Must get some for a change up in salad variation. The container says it’s prewashed too. Why don’t  I back track to the cereal aisle? Maybe cereal  of my sort is on sale? I’m only interested in Fibre 1 or Fibre First. Nothing. Can’t get lucky all the time, I suppose. Still, it doesn’t cost to take a gander.

The lineups are horrendous. When aren’t they, though? The shortest line I can find has people doing comparison shopping. They’ve produced other stores’ ads, which Walmart promises to match. I’m ready to dump the buggy and fly out of here. Wait, the lineup by the whatchamacallit is moving along pretty well. Few customers have overloaded buggies there and the mechanical female voice announces, “Proceed to Aisle (such and such) please,” at regular intervals. So I march into line. Fifty-five dollars later, I’m ready to escape but there’s MacDonald’s right in front of me. Heck, doesn’t that sound like a fabulous idea? A nice hot coffee to warm me in the cold? What, no lineup either? Don’t need to think twice.

* * *

WHERE IS MY CAR? Somebody stole it. It’s only a little Nissan, Cherry Bomb Red to be sure, but why would someone do that to me? How could they manage to steal it in broad daylight without my key? Oh dear. Where are my keys? Here they are. Safe! Sweat breaks out on my forehead.

I wonder around, then stop and slowly rotate. Maybe I’m mistaken. Could happen. Not often but sometimes in parking lots. Especially when I park in a different area / aisle I don’t usually frequent.

Oh, there it is! I’m sure that’s not where I parked it before I went into the store. Consternation.