Just for giggles: fake romance novels...
...written by my brother.
Backstory:
My mum (
jeanlucbev) has been house-bound recently and a friend has brought some romance novels for her to read. When my brother visited the other day, we amused ourselves very much by reading the blurbs on the back/various random passages from the books which were full of descriptions of the leading man's manliness (one line even read, "He laughed manfully"), his manly name (Luke Powers, Jake Tanner), the leading lady's determination not to be swayed by his charm... but ultimately swooning giving in, and other generic, formulaic romance novel-type stuff.
We joked that the authors always seem to have names that suggest a middle-aged woman with a caring, trustworthy nature - and might turn out to be guys just trying to make a buck. My brother suggested he could be "Barbara Comfort" (he didn't know there's a real author by that name), romance authoress.
Anyway, I got an email today with news on Ms Comfort's latest novels.
Love Coach - A best-selling new novel by Barbara Comfort
....With the press of a button the door slid open and there they were, face to face.
Francesca stared into his piercing brown eyes, careful not to let slip her secret longing for him. She had known men like him; ruggedly handsome men who could melt you with a smile - and break your heart in an instant.
"Not again, not this time", she thought as she passed her ticket to his gentle but powerful hands. Dark, untamed locks framed his chiselled face and rested manfully on the shoulders of his light blue uniform.
"How far?" he asked in his familiar baritone. Francesca paused, entranced by the blue and gold name-tag pinned to his mighty wildebeest chest, upon which were etched those four words that kept her awake at night and lit her inner flame: "Fabio Armstrong - Citibus Driver."
"Two zones..." she sighed dreamily, spellbound by his abundant masculine charm....
Null Hypothesis - A stunning new novel by Barbara Comfort
Kirk Forman was no ordinary lab technician. He had flown spy planes over North Korea and dominated the competition at the World Arm-wrestling Championships. Now he stood hunched over several bubbling flasks of colourful liquids, dutifully writing complex formulae on his clipboard as they reacted and foamed.
Audrey, his young, shy assistant, peered at him through the thick lenses of her horn-rimmed glasses and admired his herculean form, snugly bound by his crisp white lab-coat. He cast his gaze upon her and she quivered like an amoeba in a petri dish caught in the penetrating beam of an electron microscope.
Would she have the courage to reveal her hidden passion to him? And would they bond like two protons nucleosynthesizing in the heart of the sun, or would their potential love forever remain a... Null Hypothesis
Obvious spoofing aside, I actually think my brother has talent (the titles are genius for a start). Who knew? *giggles*
p.s.illariy, icons are coming soon, I promise!
Backstory:
My mum (
jeanlucbev) has been house-bound recently and a friend has brought some romance novels for her to read. When my brother visited the other day, we amused ourselves very much by reading the blurbs on the back/various random passages from the books which were full of descriptions of the leading man's manliness (one line even read, "He laughed manfully"), his manly name (Luke Powers, Jake Tanner), the leading lady's determination not to be swayed by his charm... but ultimately We joked that the authors always seem to have names that suggest a middle-aged woman with a caring, trustworthy nature - and might turn out to be guys just trying to make a buck. My brother suggested he could be "Barbara Comfort" (he didn't know there's a real author by that name), romance authoress.
Anyway, I got an email today with news on Ms Comfort's latest novels.
Love Coach - A best-selling new novel by Barbara Comfort
....With the press of a button the door slid open and there they were, face to face.
Francesca stared into his piercing brown eyes, careful not to let slip her secret longing for him. She had known men like him; ruggedly handsome men who could melt you with a smile - and break your heart in an instant.
"Not again, not this time", she thought as she passed her ticket to his gentle but powerful hands. Dark, untamed locks framed his chiselled face and rested manfully on the shoulders of his light blue uniform.
"How far?" he asked in his familiar baritone. Francesca paused, entranced by the blue and gold name-tag pinned to his mighty wildebeest chest, upon which were etched those four words that kept her awake at night and lit her inner flame: "Fabio Armstrong - Citibus Driver."
"Two zones..." she sighed dreamily, spellbound by his abundant masculine charm....
Null Hypothesis - A stunning new novel by Barbara Comfort
Kirk Forman was no ordinary lab technician. He had flown spy planes over North Korea and dominated the competition at the World Arm-wrestling Championships. Now he stood hunched over several bubbling flasks of colourful liquids, dutifully writing complex formulae on his clipboard as they reacted and foamed.
Audrey, his young, shy assistant, peered at him through the thick lenses of her horn-rimmed glasses and admired his herculean form, snugly bound by his crisp white lab-coat. He cast his gaze upon her and she quivered like an amoeba in a petri dish caught in the penetrating beam of an electron microscope.
Would she have the courage to reveal her hidden passion to him? And would they bond like two protons nucleosynthesizing in the heart of the sun, or would their potential love forever remain a... Null Hypothesis
Obvious spoofing aside, I actually think my brother has talent (the titles are genius for a start). Who knew? *giggles*
p.s.
illariy, icons are coming soon, I promise!