neuronetworks

[RPF]:Gemini / Suffer love for all your bad parts. Part One.

2017-11-16T17:50:21Z

Pairing: J2, with a side of many others (non explicit)
Words: 3600+
Ratings and warnings:R (NC-17 in later parts). Swearing, sexual references in blasphemous contexts.
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone involved as character in this story, but their names have been used with only admiration and love :)

Summary:
Jared and Jensen don't like each other. Sure, they dated years ago. Sure, the sex was great. Sure, they never really resolved their issues in the breakup. All that matters is that they are definitely not in love. At all. Right?

A/N: This is incomplete because I had a horrid four weeks or so where I got sick, got slightly better and then got sick again and time completely ran away from me because when I wasn't sleeping, I was working and it turned into a vicious cycle.

Beta'd by the lovely jdl71, who stepped in at the last minute and fixed all my problem areas. Any remaining mistakes are all mine.

Written for the spn_reversebang 2017 challenge. I scored the stunning prompt by fridayblues, who was an absolute saint and forgave me even though I don't deserve it. I look forward to completing this, because I'm genuinely excited about it and about getting back into writing after my super long hiatus. Ann has even expressed interest in continuing with art as it unfolds! (Seriously, how lucky am I?). Make sure you head on over to her post and leave her some love there for her gorgeous art!

Gemini / Suffer love for all your bad parts

“Oh. My. GOD,” Danneel squeals, and Jensen flinches with how it makes his ears hurt. “Chris got us a house!”

Jensen puts down his phone – he was having trouble beating that level of Candy Crush anyway – and turns to face Danneel, who’s busy typing away frantically on her own phone. She has a big grin on her face and she’s bouncing lightly on her feet from where she’s standing at the end of the couch.

“A house?” he asks, because the conversation has clearly started halfway through and there are several things Chris got us a house could mean. One being Danneel has finally agreed to move out away from Jensen's place and in with her boyfriend of eight years. Danneel finishes her text and looks at him.

“Yes!” Danneel squeals again, but almost immediately looks down again as her phone dings. She’s gone for another thirty seconds while she replies but Jensen’s patient, has learned to be after a lifetime of knowing Danneel – she is his cousin after all. Or rather, step cousin since they’re not actually blood related, but whatever. They’ve lived in each other’s back pockets ever since her grandma married Jensen’s grandpa when he and Danneel were five.

When she looks up again at Jensen, the look on her face is almost surprised to see him still sitting there waiting for her. She tilts her head at him and then sighs. “For the summer getaway, of course! Jesus, there’s no way I’m leaving you when I know you can’t survive without me. Chris has rented us a house on the beach and the best part is it’s big enough for us all to stay there!”

Jensen suppresses a groan. The summer getaway is simultaneously the highlight of his year and the most dreaded week of his year. In their last year of college, their little group of friends decided they would get together over the summer and it turned into an annual thing since then. Jensen loves it because they don’t get many other chances to catch up over the year, but unfortunately it usually means…

“Is Master Smartmouth also coming?”

Danneel flops down onto the couch but Jensen can’t move his feet away quick enough, and she traps them under her thighs. “Yes, you know he is. But don’t you think -”

“Nope.”

Danneel sighs again, “Well, there are enough bedrooms for us all, which means you get to keep one all to your own grumpy self and not ruin anyone else’s holiday.” She pats him on the leg and stands again, and Jensen wriggles his toes to get the feeling back into them. “You know, Jensen, someday you’re going to have to deal with all your repressed shit.”

Jensen doesn’t know what she’s talking about. He hasn’t repressed anything. He’s well aware of what happened, and how he feels about it. There’s nothing to be resolved.

See, back in college Jensen had a boyfriend for all of five minutes. Jared Padalecki was in his Modern History class in Sophomore year. He was funny and smart and gorgeous, and Jensen may have developed a little crush. They had started hanging out together outside of class and then Jensen had introduced Jared to his best friend Chris, because Chris had been looking for a drummer for his dream band and Jared happened to be talented with a pair of drumsticks. It was only a few months before Jensen and Jared hanging out turned into Jensen and Jared going on a second date when, half drunk and riding the high of a successful show, they slept together.

And then everything had imploded between them. Turns out they just weren’t as compatible as Jensen thought, but unfortunately by then Jared and Chris had bonded way too much. Jensen very much regrets introducing Jared and Chris, because it meant his best friend now came with a side of smug doucheknuckle. And it wasn’t looking like it was going to change with the increasing popularity of the Good Thieves. When the band landed a recording deal and a manager who was very enthusiastic about the band’s future in the music scene, Jensen resigned himself to the thought that Jared would be in his life for the foreseeable future.

Whatever, he’s totally moved on.

*

The house Chris has got them sits at the end of a long, winding, leafy driveway. Jensen’s driving, and Danneel is painting her toenails in the passenger seat beside him, when they turn the last bend to find the house sitting like a behemoth of glittering glass in the afternoon sunlight.

“Jesus Holy Cocksucking Christ,” Danneel says, “He really outdid himself this year.”

Chris has always been the one to rent the places they stay in - he comes from old money with more than one trust fund to his name and has never batted an eyelid at treating his friends every now and then. With the relatively recent success of the Good Thieves practically becoming a household name, he isn’t going to need to worry about blowing his inheritance. But he also doesn’t let people mooch off him - usually the trade-off for Chris supplying the accommodation is that everybody else supplies the food and drinks.

Even so, Chris is usually pretty mindful with his spending - he may have a bottomless wallet but he’s just as comfortable slumming it in a 2-star motel as he is in a 5-star resort. So this modern glass-walled monolith is definitely a step up from their usual getaway style.

Jensen pulls his car up in between Chris’s beaten down truck and Genevieve’s Corvette. She’s left the top down and the keys in the ignition. When Danneel exits Jensen’s car - waddling on her heels so she doesn’t ruin her pedicure - she leans over the Corvette and grabs them before heading toward the house.

“You got my bags, yeah?” She calls over her shoulder, and then starts waddling faster when the door opens and Chris comes to stand out on the patio. She makes a final leap into his arms and he grips under her thighs as he kisses her, throwing an arm quickly up to wave at Jensen as he walks into the house. Jensen grabs his duffle from the backseat, leaving Danneel’s suitcases where they are, and follows them.

The house is laid out in an open concept floor plan on the ground floor, furnished in simple but comfortable-looking furniture. The patio wraps around from the front around the side and then the back, overlooking an entertainment area complete with firepit, bar and pool. Further out, the yard is bordered by a short stone wall and Jensen can see how beyond that it drops away in a small cliff and miles of ocean stretches out toward the horizon. Jensen drops his bag and presses his fingers against the glass, enamoured with the view. He can see a sandy strip and wonders how to get down to it, and when he looks to the right there’s his answer – a series of stone steps angle down toward the beach.

He turns around and focuses on the interior again. The front door is directly opposite him now, and to his right is a modern kitchen in shades of blue and grey. To the left is a driftwood dining table, and further forward a sitting area of several couches and armchairs circling a flat screen mounted on a wood panelled wall. Genevieve’s car keys have been thrown on one of the chairs and there’s no sign of Jensen’s cousin or best friend. Back on the right, on the other side of the entryway Jensen finds a bathroom in cream and forest green, and a storage closet. Right in the centre is a staircase to the upper floor. Sandwiched between the bathroom and the kitchen area is a short hallway and Jensen follows it to find that it ends in a bedroom with the same view out toward the back of the house. A note pinned to the door reads “Jeff and Kim”, and so Jensen heads toward the upstairs in search of his own allocated room.

The upper floor starts with a landing over the living area, and contains four other bedrooms. Another staircase winds up to a third floor, but Jensen finds his bedroom tucked away on the other side of the staircases, facing the front of the house. The room has a small ensuite which Jensen is grateful for, because he’s never been very comfortable sharing toilet spaces with others.

Jensen dumps his bag on the bed and steps back into the hall, looking to explore further. Jared and Chad are sharing a room on the opposite corner to Jensen’s room (Jensen makes a short mental note to thank Chris) but Briana and Genevieve also have their own rooms, and Briana’s is right across from him. The door is cracked open and when Jensen pokes his head in, he sees Briana’s got a set of headphones on, bopping on the spot to a beat only she can hear as she unpacks her bag. Jensen smiles and she spots him as she turns in his direction.

“Jensen!” she cries, “it’s been way too long.” Her voice is overly loud and Jensen points at his own head. Her mouth forms an ‘O’ and she reaches up to take off the headphones. “Oops, I wasn’t too loud, was I? Gen’s having a nap and you know how she gets if you wake her up before she’s ready. When did you get in? Gen and I arrived about an hour ago - and how long have you been standing there?”

Jensen opens his mouth to reply but Briana continues, “Have you had a look around yet? How fucking beautiful - Chris is treating us because our tour sold out less than a day after we announced it, and we’re all so fucking excited even though it means nearly four months on the road. Anyway, it’s been way too long since I’ve seen you!”

“I saw you six weeks ago at Aldis and Sandy’s wedding.”

“Exactly! Too long!” She strides over and hugs Jensen, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Oh, how’d that date with the banker go?”

“Terribly,” Jensen sighs, “Turns out he was married.”

“Ugh,” Briana says, “Men. Can’t live with them, still want to ride them hard and put them away wet.” She pauses and looks around for a moment. “Danni with you?”

“Already off with Chris somewhere.”

A giggle floats down from the upper floor as if summoned and when it’s quickly followed by a male-voiced moan, Jensen and Briana both smirk.

“Master bedroom,” Briana says, pointing up.

Jensen’s about to reply but Genevieve’s door opens and she tumbles out, clothes rumpled from sleep and half of her hair is tangled and sticking out away from her head. She yawns and blinks at the two of them.

“Oh, hey J. B, have you seen my keys?”

Briana shakes her head as Jensen says “They’re downstairs on the couch, you left them in your ignition again.”

Genevieve nods absently. “Probably best they stay there for now. I’m going for a swim, wanna join?”

“Be right there!” Briana says, and darts back into her room. Genevieve blinks at Jensen again.

“How’d that date with the banker go?”

*

Jensen and Chris have been friends for almost as long as he’s known Danneel, but it wasn’t until college that most of their friendships were made. Chris had met Briana in a music theory class their Freshman year, and bonded over a love of Miles Davis and singing. She and Chris formed the Good Thieves one afternoon with only a guitar, their voices and Jensen’s encouragement. Genevieve responded to an audition call for a keyboard player and was accepted on that fact that she’s basically an instrumental prodigy, playing not only piano, but clarinet, trumpet and the double bass. She has a habit of losing her keys, but can bring a grown biker to tears on a solo.

Jensen had brought Jared into their lives, but Jared also brought along Chad, his roommate at the time. Jensen still hasn’t decided if he’ll ever forgive Jared for that, but he likes Chad well enough even if Chad’s taste in everything from fashion to food to women leaves something to be desired.

They met Aldis and his high school sweetheart Sandy in their final year when Aldis joined the band as the audio engineer for their albums. The pair isn't around this year on account of being sickeningly in love and finally tying the knot after being together for over a decade.

Jeff came into the picture when he and Danneel had dated briefly (before she and Chris got their heads out of their asses and started sleeping with each other), but after the breakup Jeff just never left. When Danneel brought Kim, the overqualified line cook at the bar she was working at, around one afternoon that was it for Jeff – he and Kim were married and opened up their own restaurant, Bisou, within a year.

*

Jensen’s sitting on the kitchen island, swinging his legs over the side and drinking a bottle of water when Chris and Danneel finally make an appearance. Danneel’s toenail polish is smudged along her toes and Chris’s ankles. Danneel looks around the room and then sighs.

“You bitch. Did you at least leave the car unlocked or do I need your keys?”

“Car’s open, your highness.”

She makes a face at him and wanders outside to collect her things.

“Nice digs you got us,” Jensen says, and Chris nods.

“We sold out the tour in less than a day, thought why not, they deserve it. Gonna be sleeping in a tour bus for way too long anyway. And besides, a house even as ostentatious as this works out cheaper than a bunch of hotel rooms.”

“Really?”

“Mhmm, seven day discount.”

Jensen snorts out his water and the front door opens, Danneel rolling her suitcases behind her.

“Look who I found!” She yells, as Kim walks in laden with enough bags to outweigh her three times over. Jensen slides down off the island and he and Chris go over to relieve some of the burden. Kim ‘oophs’ as she hands the bags over. She gives a low whistle when she spots the kitchen and heads for it, dropping her load on the island and reaching out to run a hand over the stove top.

Kim’s been their self-appointed chef ever since Chad nearly burned down a barbeque four years ago. She claims it’s because no one can cook, but really it’s because she gets to have total control, which is her preference for life in general. Jensen thinks if she wasn’t such a great chef she’d make a great dictator.

She turns to Chris and says, “Mind giving Jeff a hand, hon? There’s a few more bags to bring in still.”

Chris nods and leaves and Jensen begins unpacking the bags. Kim prefers to put things away to her liking but Jensen can still help get everything onto the counter for sorting.

“Hey, honey,” Kim says, “How’ve you been?”

“Good, I guess,” Jensen replies, “Nothing new to report.”

“Really? How’d that date with the banker go?”

Jensen sighs, “Horribly. It started with a racist comment and ended with me calling a cab when he admitted he was married – happily married, to a woman no less.”

“Bastard!”

“Eh, I threw a glass of wine at him like a Hollywood cliché and left him with the bill.”

Kim hip-checks him and grins, “I keep telling you – you need to come in to Bisou with your dates. I have a very good sense about people, I’ll save you the trouble of finding out for yourself how terrible your romantic choices are.”

“Ha ha,” Jensen says in a monotone, but he’s spared having to come up with a witty retort when Chris and Jeff haul the last of the bags inside.

Kim grabs a hold of his arm before he can leave and smiles softly up at him. “It’ll happen, honey. Probably when you least expect it, but you’ll find it one day. You’re not totally a lost cause,” her smile turns into a smirk, “Not yet at least.”

Jensen rolls his eyes and she smacks him on the ass as he walks away from her.

It’s not that Jensen needs a man… at fifteen, when he realised the possibly gay thing wasn’t just possibly, he swore to himself that before finding happiness with anyone else, he would need to find happiness with himself. The thought of potentially not ever settling down with anyone never crossed his mind back then. At the time, that was mostly about a gay kid in Texas trying to ease his own mind and come to terms with who he was but as an adult in California with a lot more life (and sexual) experience, he really likes the thought of a stable and an adult, long term relationship. Most of his friends now have good solid relationships and he can’t lie – he’s a touch envious.

Hell, he’s twenty-eight. And while forty might be the new thirty for women, he’s only got a few more years before he fears he’ll be over the hill. It’s vain and selfish and grounded in nothing but the idea that he’ll always be alone. He just can’t help but be worried that by the time he falls in love he’ll be out of time to enjoy it.

He had thought at one point, that Jared would be the person he might just spend his life with. He had been everything Jensen could have wanted – Jensen nearly failed Modern History because he spent more time focussing on Jared Padalecki than his course work. After he’d worked up the courage to talk to him, he had a really good feeling – Jared was funny and smart, and thought Jensen’s pre-coffee bitchiness was adorable. He’d flirted gently and Jared flirted back (although Jared seemed to flirt with everyone) and if it wasn’t for Chad outright ribbing Jared about liking a guy (who at the time was Jensen, although he hadn’t known that yet) Jensen probably would have resigned himself to unrequited love.

Yes, he’s dramatic. But he’s also gay, so whatever.

He still remembers with vivid clarity the night Jared asked him out. They’d been out before, just the two of them for coffee or dinner, but always shrouded in the excuse to study.

They’d been at a superhero themed party organised by one of the LGBT+ groups on campus, and Jensen had spent nearly two weeks sourcing his Batman outfit and spent way more money on overnight shipping than he intended to. But it was worth it to see Jared’s look of sheer delight and he had laughed that deep laugh of his when he saw Jensen enter the party.

Jared was dressed as Wonder Woman, all six-foot-four of him squeezed into hot pants and a headband and Jensen couldn't stop thinking about the shape of Jared’s dick and the way his arms looked framed by the cuffs and wanting to climb him and never get off (or rather, get off repeatedly).

He’d leaned in to Jensen, lips brushing his ear as he fought to be heard over the music. “I guess we better stick together then,” he said, “Can’t leave a fellow Justice League member without backup.” Jensen had hoped the flush on his cheeks wasn’t too noticeable against the mask.

They’d spent much of the evening side by side, Jensen unwilling to go far for fear of then having to witness Jared take up one of the many offers he’d had that night. But Jared seemed perfectly happy to have Jensen there.

They’d both had too much to drink so Jared chose to leave his car at the party and they walked to Jensen’s, hands brushing every now and then as they leaned on each other to stay upright. To be honest Jensen doesn’t remember much else of the walk – there was a horrible rendition of ‘Memory’ – from the Cats musical, of course – that they had sung with all the confidence that alcohol could give them. Jensen remembers the distinct thought of wanting to forget about that, especially since it turned out he knew more words than he thought he did, and that was waaaay to embarrassing for sober Jensen to be proud of.

Jensen does remember the moment after he shut the front door, Jared pressed against him in the small space of the apartment’s hallway. It was dark, the doorway only dimly lit by the lamp he’d left on further in and Jared’s face was mostly shadowed, and no longer grinning.

Jensen had started to step away, but Jared stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm.

“Will you go out with me tomorrow?” Jared had asked in a hushed voice, and Jensen huffed a small laugh.

“’Course, dude, that was the plan.”

“No, Jensen, I mean I would like to take you out for breakfast. We can drop this stupid pretence because we won’t talk about school work for once and maybe afterward you would let me kiss you.” He paused. “Will you go out with me tomorrow?”

“It is already tomorrow,” Jensen said, and when Jared cocked his head, confused, he said, “It's after midnight, already tomorrow. So yes, I would like very much to have breakfast with you, today. But because it is already today and not tomorrow I don’t really want to wait to let you kiss me.”

Jared’s grin was obvious even in the shadows, but he didn’t move.

“Seriously, Jay, I don’t want to wait, but you gotta come down here ‘cause I can’t stretch that high.”

Then Jared leaned in, and it wasn’t the best kiss (they were both a little too drunk) but it was still perfect.

It was over less than three weeks later.

My dearest Holly

2016-11-20T07:36:40Z

My dearest Holly,

Today we packed up your things - your toys and blankets and bed, and my heart broke all over again.

It's been only two days since you unexpectedly passed, and tomorrow will mark the first morning that I wake up and you won't be sleeping curled up against me. I think it might be the hardest day I will face since losing you.

For those reading this, my much loved dog, Holly suffered a sudden major seizure on Friday evening and never recovered. She passed away in our arms shortly after. She would have been 17 in December and while we knew she wouldn't be with us much longer, she had never seized before and was responding incredibly well the the medication we had her on for renal failure. All signs pointed to a few more months, not a sudden loss.

For a long time my sisters and I had been badgering our parents for a dog. We had already had a kitten that unfortunately we had to put up for adoption when it unexpectedly triggered my sister M's severe allergy (at the time, we thought we knew what caused it, it turned out that we were missing about 5 other things, too) and were desperate for another pet. Finally, our parents told us that when we moved house, we would be able to get a dog.

Thanks to M's allergies we had to have a specific breed (and it was for this reason we chose to purchase from a breeder) and it came down to one of three "hypoallergenic" options:
1. A Poodle. My mother wasn't sold on this as she didn't want a large poodle but had found throughout her own childhood that smaller poodles could be quite neurotic, especially around young children.
2. A Maltese Terrier. Again, my mother wasn't sold - Terriers tend to be yappy and not well suited to young, possibly clumsy children.
That left 3. The Bichon Frise. A puffball of a dog with a generally sweet and playful temperment, who was not likely to be squished by the children, but also calm enough to withstand loud playtime.

For months after we settled into our new house she contacted different people in order to choose a respected Bichon breeder, and eventually got in touch with a woman who was well-reputed and expecting a litter. It turned out to be a false pregnancy, but she put us in touch with another breeder she gave high praise to who's biggest fault was how far away she was from our location. She had just had a litter, and had one little girl and one little boy left. We were interested in the bitch, and I remember being so excited that despite learning the puppy had been named Holly, I compiled a short list of other cool names, just in case.

On a Saturday morning, we packed into the car and drove four hours to the breeder - my mother stating all the way that it was not guaranteed, that there were a number of reasons why we might not buy this particular puppy, and to not get our hopes up. Nevertheless we had a large, deep basket lined with soft blankets to be able to transport our new pup comfortably home (it would of course be another four hours back).

We needn't have worried. We arrived and were greeted by the cutest, sweetest, happiest little ball of fluff I have ever met in my life. Holly was excited to meet strangers, pleased to have some smaller humans to play with, and extremely affectionate from the get-go. It was love at first sight, both from her toward us, and from us toward her (my father's expression completely melted upon seeing her and at that point my mother knew we weren't leaving without this puppy).

I remember her little face peeking out of the basket on my lap, and how despite my sister, T's excitement she was still scared to touch the puppy that could fit in the cup of our hands. I remember only weeks later T bounding around the house with the puppy slung over one shoulder, calm as you please with her ears flopping about. I remember the first time mum gave her a bath and the experience was apparently so traumatic that she hated and avoided baths, pools, rain, beaches, and so on. I remember that for all she hated rain, she loved mud puddles.

I remember the first time she jumped on my bed without assistance, and how that set a precendence for almost every morning after (to either wake me up, or nap with me). I remember her teaching herself to roll a tennis ball with her nose, because she didn't want to take the extra steps to bring it to us (and because we had visited family who didn't permit us to throw the tennis ball inside the house, so we rolled it to her and she started rolling it back). I remember coming home one day to find the plastic bag filled with chocolate biscuits that had been carefully tied up and put out of the way on the diing room table had a small hole bitten into it, exactly the size of the biscuit packet, and 4 biscuits missing (the packet had not even been shredded). I remember finding new toilet rolls perfectly intact but with the cardboard middle carefully extracted and lying a few feet away. I remember going to put away newly washed clothes, only to find a bone hidden amongst the items - and once, memorably, a bone hidden in my handbag after I got to work.

I remember one year, when some chocolate Easter Eggs went missing and everyone denied being the thief, we didn't know what happened until several weeks later when we found chocolate eggs buried under Holly's blankets. I remember her being considerate enough to not wake the parents (she slept in my parent's room) when she needed to pee in the middle of the night, instead she would come and wake me to let her out.

I remember how she would reach up and bat at your face if you stopped cuddling her before she was ready, and the first time I sent her to sleep by rubbing her tummy. I remember how she loved to sleep with her head buried under pillows or blankets, and if she wasn't feeling well, would sleep on any clothes we left on the floor.

She was a fiercely intelligent dog, who was loving and loyal and never snapped at us, not even when we nearly stepped on her tail (by accident, of course).

She was my heart, ever since I was 10 years old and I am going to miss her so damn much.

Rest in Peace, Alan Rickman

2016-01-14T13:48:24Z

AHBL 6

2015-05-05T13:56:24Z

I'm thinking of going to the AHBL convention this year, partially because I promised myself I would if J2 ever came back to it, but I literally know no one in Aus/Sydney that is also going and my anxiety is skyrocketing at the thought of being by myself in a crowded convention.

So, flist, I would love it if you knew any awesomesauce people based in the Sydney area (or outside of it if they are going to the con anyway) I could get in touch with.

Peeps, be wary!

2014-10-14T09:23:58Z

Originally posted by dreamflower02 at Warning: someone is fishing in LJ waters...

I got this warning through fanficrants. Apparently a website has cropped up that is trawling through LJ, looking for anything tagged fanfic, and then reposting it WITHOUT PERMISSION.

Here is a link: http://www.donotlink.com/framed?561309

The link diverts you from the original. It takes you to a separate page that will not show up on search engines, in order to defeat the thief's purpose of attracting search engines. (The site is full of advertising.) But as you can see, a lot of people have been complaining.

I don't know if any of my friends may have been victimized, but there's a Complaint Page, which you can go to and make him take your stuff down.

I don't have time right now to see if he's lifted any of my stories, but I will be checking as soon as I can.

(And I'm using my fanfic tag so if he steals this entry he won't be getting any real fanfic, LOL!)

So apparently we're taking back the journal.

2014-07-09T02:21:09Z

What up, flist? Loooooong time no speak.

As decided by the community, today is 'post something random in your journal day', as a way of saying this a community site, and we like it that way!

So without further ado, I announce that in less than two weeks time, I'm going overseas!!!! This is pretty big for me, I've only been interstate and never via plane, and I'm about to spend a month in several foreign countries. I won't lie, I'm freaking out just a touch *pulls out hair*.

I will be in London for a few days, meeting up with my sister who is about to end her living there for the past two years and then we're going on to Egypt, Italy and Greece.

I don't know how to end this. HAPPY RANDOM POST DAY!

drive by post: the NSW bushfires

2013-10-20T12:15:05Z

Some quick images (not mine) about the current bushfires.

A map of the Blue Mountains. The red dot near Katoomba is approximately where I live (I have since reevaluated this image and realise I live about 2 milimetres to the left of the red dot). The fire over at Springwood is the worst in terms of damage, with nearly 200 homes destroyed, another over 100 damaged.
The fire with the greatest range is of course that massive black outlined one, which started at Lithgow (left side of the screen) and has been moving steadily towards the right, and now has crept back down towards that road there marked B59. To give an estimation of things, it would take about 45 minutes to drive from Lithgow to Bilpin. And this isn't even an updated map, this was what it was more than 12 hours ago. It's mostly bush that has burned, but a fair few residences, particularly recently as the fire moves back south, that have been affected.
The fire that is of most concern is that one on the left at Mount Victoria - reports have it now moved into the valley where it's all green, which means it's moving towards Katoomba (depending on wind conditions), and in particular, my side of Katoomba.

This is a photo of the back of my friend's parent's house - in Yellow Rock, south east of Springwood. It was one of the houses spared in the blaze, but you can see how close the fire got to their back porch - it destroyed their cubby house.

This is actually an unrelated image to me - sort of. The smoke was so huge in Springwood on Thursday that I could see it from my house over half an hour away. I forgot to get a picture of the smoke cloud before smoke spread thin over Katoomba and made it impossible to see far, but it looked very similar to this one, so you can have this picture instead to get an idea of what I saw and how large the fire was then.

The entrance to my high school in Springwood - the driveway up to the school actually goes for a kilometre until you reach the school itself, but the primary school and church were almost opposite this. This image was taken on Friday, I think. On Saturday, though the fire had receded from this point, it had swung around to the back of my high school, and it was only due to backburning efforts in the hours before that that the school was actually saved from burning.

This is the front of the school when the fire had reached the oval at the back.

Out the back of the school.

I am not actually back!

2012-09-05T08:39:41Z

Things that happened in the last however many months:

I dropped out of uni (accidentally, through a series of misunderstandings and me not being bothered to fix them), and I feel so much happier for it.

I'm working (technically casual, but it's like a 35-40 hour work week) as the front desk of a guest house in my local area. I'm also doubling as the manager-during-the-week. It's pretty awesome, and I love it for the most part, since I kinda really don't like other people.

I've moved out of home!!!!! For the first time in my life I am not living with my parents. It feels pretty great, because for a while there I was feeling like I couldn't live there any more. My parents and I get on great, but I really needed this move. I don't yet have internet at my new house, so I'm leeching off the work wifi when I can. I'm hoping that without internet, I may write a little more, rather than read all the time.

Got myself a new batch of friends, to replace the ones that seem to have forgotten I exist, and was once a friend.

And finally, and the main reason that I haven't written anything, posted, commented on stories or journal entries even though I've read them, is that for all I'm at my happiest and most content than I have been in a while, my mood is on a real down. Like, depression episode down. Zero motivation, want-to-be-on-happy-making-meds down. (Also, I didn't like my springfling submission [though thank you so much to the people who did like it!] so I haven't posted it here.)

It really, truly sucks. So it'll probably be a few months till you next hear from me (in fact, it'll probably be November, since I signed up for and shall resurface for reversebang again) because I'm still getting over my best friends abandoning me.

one hundred things: intro + 001: maple pecan cinnamon rolls

2012-04-26T10:47:20Z

I've been meaning to sign up for the 100 things meme for weeks now, but didn't know what the hell I was going to do. Anyway, it finally occured to me.

{Take the 100 Things challenge!}
I've decided to make it, in a nutshell, 100 recipes. Thing is, it won't always be a "recipe", because half the time I make shit up and don't have set measurements, but I'll do my best, and link to existing recipes where I can.

The other thing is, I'm breaking it into 50 things I've made, and 50 things I want to make. Probably. That part isn't definite, we'll see how we go, because part of the reason is to get me back in the kitchen and playing around more, but my free time is limited, so I may have to settle for "I want to make this".

Final thing, is I'm a shit photographer. I'm no good, and I don't have a good camera. If there happens to be a photo I take of food that I like, I'll put it up, otherwise, anything else is taken by someone else (credit will of course, be given).

So, let it commence!

For this week, I'm going with the Easy Maple Pecan Cinnamon Rolls by Darla over at Bakingdom.

photograph by Darla, at Bakingdom, 2011

When she says easy, she means easy. The most difficult thing about making these rolls is rolling them- since the dough has to be sticky- and trying not to eat them so quickly. Everything else is done in two blinks, pretty much. I love baking, but I hate standing around and spending forever making stuff, so this is one of my favourite recipes because it's so fast.

So, did I do anything different to the recipe? Why yes, yes I did.

First, I make them in my springform pan, so it's really easy to get to them once they're baked. I just unclip everything, and shift onto a plate. I think it looks nicer than a cake pan, but it depends on the cake pan I suppose.

it's very possible that I just don't own a cake pan like that ^^.

Also, since my sister is gluten intolerant, I make them gluten free, and they still taste superb. Though, I'm also kind of putting that down to the best GF flour there is out there, White Wings, which pretty much tastes like normal flour, and not that weird taste some GF flours have. I've also done it before with walnuts, because I thought I had pecans only to find out they'd been eaten as a snack, and the walnut goes fantastic with the maple syrup.

I also don't make the glaze, because I don't need that much sugar in my diet, and these taste just beautiful without them. Oh yeah, that's the whole reason I'm posting this recipe: they taste amazing. Want to eat them forever amazing.

In fact, I've found that you can cut between 1/4 and 1/2 cup of the brown sugar from the filling, and it's not detrimental. I also put just somewhere between 1/4 and 1/3 of maple syrup in the dough, and it's fine.

Pretty much the only thing I don't change is eating them warm. I admit they're pretty good room temperature, even straight out of the fridge if I'm a hurry, but they're much better warm, so if you make these, and you manage to have leftovers, heat them up again, and make yourself tea to go with it :)

Tell me about the dream, where we pull the bodies out of the lake

2012-03-19T10:29:10Z

If you haven't seen it yet- GO NOW.

secretlytodream has done it again and made the most fantastic SPN video. Seriously, it's haunting and beautiful and perfectly cut together, contrasted beautifully with an almost monotonous spoken poem (2 poems actually).

It reminds you that beneath all the pain and despair and hurt, there's a heart and strength and love to the Winchesters that defies everything that is thrown at them.

VIDEO

Drive by- now with chocolate.

2012-02-10T10:48:55Z

So, I'm not as proud of this as I was for the success of my mini cheesecakes, but I kind of love how these babies turned out, so have a picture:

They're for Valentine's Day, for the incoming guests at the Guest House I'm working at. The squiggle hearts and blurt hearts (named due to how I made them) are a mild chilli dark/milk mix, and the swirled ball-thingies contain a cinnamon/nutmeg (and a dash of paprika and vanilla essence) spiced chocolate ganache.

Now I just have to wrap them up in red cellophane, keep 'em in a fridge, and set them out with a short note :)

okay, so

2012-01-18T11:53:39Z

I want to do bigbang this year. I've decided that I will sign up. but I haven't yet, because I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHAT TO WRITE.

I have been thinking about it non-stop, and nothing. Zilch.

So, I want prompts. Comment, or PM. Can be anything. Single words, sentences, quotes, pictures/art, plotpoints etc. If anything gets me going, that'll be my choice.

I am leaning towards RPF rather than SPN, just so you know.

pay it forward meme, 2012

2012-01-11T07:19:33Z

Grabbed from aythia.

Pay it Forward, 2012.

The pledge: I promise to make something handmade for the first five (5) people who comment on this post.

The catch: You must then post this on your own LJ/FB/Twitter (wherever you like) and make something for the first five (5) people who comment on it.

The rules: Items must be handmade* by you and the recipients must recieve them before the end of 2012.

So what are you waiting for?

*when it says handmade, it doesn't have to be anything major, like a chest of drawers. It can be as simple as graphics, or a card, origami, crafts, sewing, knitting, food related, anything at all. Comments are screened for anyone who would like to include their address, or you can PM me with it.

Spots taken: 0/5

Depending on what it is, I'll probably send it to your house, in the mail (yay! mail!) so if you don't include an address here, I'll contact you later for one. In fact, I'll probably contact you anyway since I have the horrible tendency to lose things such as addresses, because I write them on scrap paper rather than a proper address book (and let's face it, you may move and not tell me, and then some random will get your present instead).

Also, I've decided that requests for things can be made, but no guarantees, whatsoever.

art query

2012-01-10T04:42:10Z

Does anybody know if anyone's made any calendars for 2012. SPN/J2 themed, that is. I was keeping an eye out at the end of last year but didn't see any pop up.

If you know of any, point the way :D

DUDES

2012-01-08T08:40:32Z

50 reasons to have sex fic fest

DW | LJ

uh huh

Rec

2012-01-06T12:20:35Z

So, I might only be like, 200 words in, but candygramme's Murder by Space is totally worth the rec. Really.

I mean I was planning on reccing it when I got to a hundred words in, but there's an Importance of Being Earnest reference being made, and I cracked.

It's like, space noir, only funnier. And with J2. So go, read. Now.

vid rec!

2011-12-29T08:56:48Z

In all honesty, I could rec secretlytodream's vids every single time a post goes up, she's that amazing and creative. But this is extra special. This is one of those vids that nearly makes you cry (or hell, you might) because it reminds you just how tangled up in each other the Winchester's are- how being brothers trumps everything.

So go, watch!

To all of you:

2011-12-24T10:55:40Z

Both on my flist and not on it yet, Merry Christmas, and Season's Greetings. It's a little over two hours until Christmas day, and I'm half drunk and about to pass out thanks to my work Christmas party, but I hope you enjoy your holidays and welcome the New Year in with style!

And may 2012 not be the zombie apocalypse we're all expecting, but much more laid-back and easy going :)

Then again, a zombie apocalypse would save me from having to do stuff this year. Oh, mutated virus/end-of-the-world insanity, wherefore art thou?

(And yes, I'm well aware the apocalypse is happening at the end of 2012... doesn't mean I can't hope ;) )

MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS.

Oh and finally, for those who were waiting on Christmas cards, I hope they got to you. I still haven't received anything, so I'm hoping that the kerfuffle of a 2010 posting issue isn't happening again.

Much love.

There is so much fic

2011-12-06T12:32:51Z

And so very little time.

I mean, I still have big bangs saved from LAST YEAR to read through. It's because fandom is just too awesome, producing a million awesome things a day.

It's hurts, when I see goodies to read and all I can do is click "add to favourites". In my defence, I'm starting up training at my new job, while still working my old job and battling my sleep problems.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS READ. GO AWAY REAL LIFE.

Also, I just typed all that in the HTML window, and spent all that time wondering why the hell my font was wonky and where the hell my option buttons were :\

And my uni results are released in the morning. /o\

[RPF]: Just Don't Mention the "D" Word

2011-11-24T18:07:18Z

just don't mention the "D" word
by lemanya
art by celeste_abel

one || two || three || four || art
PDF

Pairing: J2, with a side of many others (non explicit)
Words: 28,202
Rating and warnings: NC-17, with swear words. Also, it's about reapers, so there is death, but handled in (hopefully) a lighthearted way, and my apologies if I offend or cause anyone grief. I did try to be careful.
Beta: The absolutely fantastic tesserae_
Disclaimer: Let's be honest, I don't own anyone involved as a character in this story, and I wish them all the best for their real lives. I have only used their names, with love and admiration.

Summary:
Jared always thought he'd die a hero's death. But he doesn't. Far from it, in fact. His afterlife though? As a reaper? Is pretty awesome, even if he is paired with the oldest and grumpiest reaper in existence, Jensen. Jared's determined to break through, and get Jensen to like him. He's just has to keep an eye out for the sexual advances of his fellow reapers, all the while learning how to be in the job, and to remember, to never, ever mention the "d" word.

Author's Notes and Thanks:
This year, for the spn_reversebang, I claimed the extraordinarily talented celeste_abel, who's amazing prompt set off a whole world in my head of life as a reaper. If you've ever seen Dead Like Me, you'll have some idea of how this fic might just go. Celeste was paitent and completely understanding toward the fact that RL kicked me over backwards and stole my lunch money these past couple of months in regards to writing this fic, and as a consequence, she never got to read the second half of this ahead of time. I hope you enjoy it, it was a pleasure working with you and your art just blew me away. Please, go check out all the amazing stuff she did and leave her some love too.

Much thanks to my beta, tesserae_, who stepped in with no knowledge of me or my writing, and still managed to fix my commas and dialogue punctuation with little time and only half a fic. Furthermore, she's responsible for every American spelling you see here. If there are any mistakes, ANY at all, they are completely my fault and when I get more sleep I'll go back and fix it up proper.

To the mods at spn_reversebang, thanks for hosting it again this year. You did a wonderful job.

Finally to you, the reader, I hope you enjoy this fic. It's officially my longest ever, and has taken the title of "my baby" in the process. Please comment, as comments are always welcome and brighten up my day.

The pdf is now available, here :). For people who DLed previously, I apologise, my numerous mistakes that I did not catch during editing have now been fixed :)

[RPF]: Just Don't Mention the "D" Word. Part One

2011-11-24T17:35:54Z

home || two || three || four || art

We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast, but when we say this we imagine that hour as placed in an obscure and distant future. It never occurs to us that it has any connection with the day already begun or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance.
~Marcel Proust

Jared always knew that when he died, he’d die a hero’s death. Like from rescuing orphans from a burning building, or a kitten from a tree or some other shit that people would say “oh that Jared Padalecki guy? Yeah, he’s a hero”. It’s not self-absorbed, not really, because who wouldn’t want their death to have meant something? And besides, Jared’s always doing altruistic things- he volunteers at two different homeless shelters after work on four different nights, plus Saturdays, and he donates regularly to just about every charity that calls, and he always helps Mrs Crumbel hobble across the street to the grocery store whenever he sees her. Jared kind of figured, with all the good he does daily, his parting would be a great big thank you, and you shall forever be remembered from Karma. Or, he’d die in his sleep two days before his hundredth birthday, having said his goodbyes to his children, grandchildren, and hopefully great-grandchildren. That would have been nice.

Jared’s untimely death, when it does come, isn’t heroic at all. It doesn’t happen from saving orphans, or kittens, or hell, taking a hit from a truck running a red light that would have hit Mrs Crumbel if Jared hadn’t pushed her out of the way. No, Jared’s death is not heroic.

It is, however, somewhat eventful.

And it will probably be remembered, come to think of it.

For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.
~ William Penn

When Jared opens his eyes he has to blink twice because his vision is made up of pink and brown splotches. They eventually focus into a face, which is grinning at him, although it looks a little sinister since it’s upside down. Jared blinks again.

‘Hi!’ the face chirps.

Jared goes to sit up and feels an unpleasant schtick from where his back comes unglued from asphalt. Two tiny hands plants themselves on his shoulders to help him get vertical, and Jared can only assume they belong to the face. His head feels foggy, wrapped in cotton wool and everything is dulled a little. He thinks he can hear screaming and he’s pretty sure it’s not him, but when he looks around, the only person in his vicinity is the girl- or rather, the woman, though she’s a very tiny woman- who helped him up.

‘Ugh,’ Jared says, and the woman laughs and sits down opposite him, setting down a staff of some kind next to her.

‘Just take your time,’ she says. ‘It’ll clear up eventually.’

‘What happened?’ Jared asks.

‘You tripped,’ she states with a giggle, ‘Well, to be exact, you tripped on your shoelace, and let me just say that nobody was expecting it to go down that way!’ She has to cover her mouth with her hands to stifle her laughter but when she removes them, her expression is more sympathetic.

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh, it’s just that it always happens in different ways, and I’ve never heard anyone say they came to us because they tripped on their shoelace. You’re going to be such a novelty. I’m Sandy by the way.’

Jared blames it on his head still being a little mushy, but he has no clue what this Sandy chick is on about. Well, okay, he gets the tripping thing, but the rest of it? She may as well be speaking Klingon. Jared blankly says his own name back and Sandy just laughs again, says, ‘I know.’

Then she stands, and with a surprising strength gets Jared on his feet, bends down again to retrieve her staff, links her arm in his and steers them down the street.

The more they walk, the less fuzzy things become for Jared. The muted screaming from earlier becomes clearer, and the sound of sirens filters in from behind them. Jared wants to turn, help because it’s clear that someone’s in trouble, but Sandy’s grip doesn’t waver and she distracts him by asking ‘What’s the last thing you remember?’

Jared thinks back. The alarm went off, he woke up, hit snooze, slept again for ten minutes, woke up for the second time and went for a run, drank coffee, stumbled into the shower, overcooked his eggs, got dressed and realised he was late for work, so he slipped his feet into the first shoes he could find- untied Converse sneakers with rainbow laces- grabbed his keys and ran all the way from his apartment to the alley the building’s door opened up on. He remembers thinking thank god he hadn’t tripped on his shoelaces and cracked his neck on the stairs, and then there was a moment he thought whoa, because the whole world was tipping and he was flailing and-

‘Yep,’ says Sandy, ‘coming out that front door, went headfirst into the side of the dumpster.’

Jared blinks. ‘Damn.’ He rubs his neck. ‘Famous last thoughts. At least I didn’t hurt myself, that kind of accident could have caused some serious problems.’

Sandy looks at him sympathetically again. ‘I’m sorry sweetie, but it did.’ She looks awkward and Jared’s sure the look on his face is confused. ‘You’ve…’ she hesitates, and then says delicately, ‘you’ve moved on from the earthly plane.’ They’ve stopped now, at the mouth of the alley, and her expression has shifted into an expecting look, like she’s urging Jared to understand. He doesn’t.

‘Earthly plane?’

‘You’ve answered the final summons, assumed room temperature, bought the farm and cashed in your chips, gone over the big ridge, faded away, joined the great majority… are any of these ringing a bell? Because you gotta work with me here, kid.’ She looks exasperated. ‘Honey, you kicked the bucket.’

Jared blanches. ‘I’m dea-?’

Sandy swings her hands up in front of him. ‘No! Don’t say it!’ she yells, and they stand there in a stalemate, Sandy’s hands a hair’s-breadth away from Jared’s shirt, one still curled around that long stick of hers, and Jared’s mouth half open on the end of his word. Sandy pulls her hands back to clasp them together around the staff and leans forward on it. ‘It’s just... people tend to freak out less when that word isn’t mentioned. It’s just a kindness, for everyone really, if we ignore that word altogether, okay?’

‘Okay,’ Jared says, but he can’t manage to keep the wariness out of his tone. ‘So… my life has… ended, that’s what you’re saying?’

Sandy nods.

‘And I’m now what- a ghost?’

Sandy shrugs. ‘For now, until we get you registered and assigned.’

‘Registered for what?’ Jared asks.

Sandy hmms. ‘I’d best not tell you until you come to terms completely with what happened to you, but don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.’

It’s then, and only because Jared’s head is finally cleared, that he notices that Sandy’s clothed from head to toe in black. When he trails his eyes down, he realises that it’s all one garb- a robe of some kind with a hood. It stops short of trailing along the ground, but only because Sandy’s perched on a pair of bright pink heels, peeking out the bottom of the robe. When his eyes draw back up, they continue on past her head, travelling up the staff which stretches a good two feet above her and ends in a sharply curved blade that glints menacingly in the sunlight. A big ‘S’ is burnt into the base of the blade, just before it meets wood. Jared comes to the startling conclusion that this is a scythe, which means Sandy is the grim reaper, which means that when Jared tripped on his shoelace just outside of his building and went headfirst into the dumpster, he died.

Oh shit, he’s dead. His eyes widen and he looks down at his hands, and for the first time realises that he can see through them to the cracked pavement beneath. He turns his head back down the alley to where he can see his front door, the building’s dumpster, and a small group of people, fading in more clearly the longer he looks, some with their hands over their mouths, one guy on a cell phone, and Jared can see a pair of Chuck Taylor’s, with rainbow shoelaces exactly like his own, peeking out the side of the group. Across from him, Sandy sighs and says, ‘Don’t worry sweetie, by the time we get back to headquarters you’ll be okay,’ but Jared’s not listening because he’s stuck on the fact that this really is the end. He’s dead.

Jared promptly freaks the fuck out.

The building they end up at is an ice-cream parlor. Jared has a moment to wonder how, as a ghostly being- who’s just had people not even see him and walk straight through him on the trip over here- he’s supposed to eat ice-cream, and if he isn’t supposed to eat it, how Sandy could be so cruel in teasing him with it, when the door opens with a jangle of bells and a blonde, very female head pokes out. It smiles widely at him, and Jared can see a headset attached to her left ear.

‘Well, hello, handsome.’ She winks at him. ‘You must be Jared. Come on in.’ She holds the door open for them and Jared turns to Sandy with wide eyes.

‘She can see me?’ he asks, because he’s going to tackle how she knows his name later. The blonde answers before Sandy can.

‘Of course I can, silly, I’m not alive either.’ And oh, of course, yeah. Shit, is he supposed to offer condolences or something? What’s the appropriate behaviour for interacting with another dea- expired individual?

‘Katie’s our receptionist,’ Sandy interjects, ‘and don’t worry about what’s appropriate, just don’t mention the D word.’

Jared pulls back, because did Sandy just read his mind? That can’t be possible, can it? Has Sandy been reading his mind this whole time? It’d certainly explain how well she handled Jared’s freak out earlier, but that would also mean she heard when Jared thought about how hot her rack looks, even in that depressing get-up, and then the awkwardness he went through for thinking boner thoughts about Death incarnate, and oh shit, if that smirk on her face is anything to go by, yes, she can, and she’s obviously highly amused at Jared’s internal rambling-

‘Don’t worry, sweetie,’ she laughs, ‘I can’t read your mind.’

But- no, seriously, she has to be.

‘You’re not the first to go through this, and you won’t be the last. It’s pretty much routine what you’re thinking. I’ve been doing this a long time, I know the drill.’

‘True,’ Katie says, ‘now seriously, handsome, get that tush inside, you’re letting the heat in.’

Katie gropes him as he walks past.

From there, things are a bit of a blur. He only has a moment to register the inside of the building (which really is an ice-cream store, with real live people in it, and Katie apologizes, but she has to get back to serving them) before Sandy is taking his arm gently and steering them through the ‘employees only’ door, pulling off her robe and hanging it on a hook that says ‘Sands <3’ (which is fifth in a line of about twenty-seven other hooks, of which Danni :), Chaddmeister, ~~Jensen~~Jennybean ;) and ~~Kane~~Asshole are some of the names) and stashing her scythe in the accompanying cupboard, and then they’re going down a long dark corridor and emerging in what looks like an enormous employee lounge. From there, Jared gets introduced to somewhere around fourteen people, but he can only remember Mike (who’s bald and can’t shut up about some dude named Tom), Danneel (who’s an extraordinarily hot redhead with a wicked sense of humor and dark red nail polish), Misha (who isn’t bald, but can’t stop propositioning Jared to join him and his partner, Victoria, in a sexual escapade that would give a fleshie a heart attack) and Jeff, who turns out to be head honcho.

‘Well, not the head honcho, if you know what I mean, but I’m in charge of this here place, and Jesus-’ his eyes go wide and he stares at the floor, ‘-but sometimes it feels like I need a pay raise.’

Jeff runs a hand down his face and Jared just stares. He has a horrible sinking feeling he’s just stumbled into crazy town and he suddenly wants his uneventful, mediocre life back. He wishes Sandy were here in Jeff’s office with him, especially since he now knows she’s not the grim reaper, but she left to apparently start her shift at the ice-cream end of the building. Jeff shifts suddenly and grins at Jared.

‘So!’ he says brightly, ‘Jared, you’re probably wondering what in the purgatory is going on, yeah?’ Jared nods but Jeff keeps talking over the top of him. ‘Well, you’ve obviously figured out that you’ve moved on from life, and we here at Expired Enterprises offer our condolences for your passing, but are excited to work with you here in the afterlife.’

‘Uh huh,’ Jared says blandly.

‘So, you might be wondering why you haven’t moved straight on to an eternal resting place of your religious and/or personal choosing…’

‘Uh huh,’ Jared says again, though a little less blandly.

‘Well, simply put, you’ve been chosen.’ He sits back in his chair and steeples his fingers. ‘People die every day, Jared, constantly and sometimes messily, and someone needs to be there to reap their souls and send them on their way. That’s what we do, what Sandy did with you. But every now and then, we need to retire some of our reapers, as a thank you for all their dedication over the years, and so we bring in fresh blood, pardon the pun, to take over the job.’

There’s a pause as they look at each other.

‘That’d be you, Jared.’

‘Oh, right,’ Jared says, ‘yeah, okay.’

Jeff looks at him dubiously. ‘You sure? I didn’t expect you to take it this well, nobody really does.’

‘In all honesty, I’m kind of just hoping I’ll wake up soon.’

Jeff expression turns sympathetic. ‘Sorry kiddo, wish I could say you will. The bright side though, is that once we get you registered, you’ll practically be alive again. No more of this slightly shimmery thing you got going on. You’ll have a real form, can eat, drink, touch things again. You won’t age, of course, but hey, that’s really just a bonus.’ He grins again and spreads his hands. ‘You can of course, say no, and we’ll send you on, but you’re here because the big D chose you specifically, and in all honesty it’s a bit of a hassle when we have to find someone else compatible on such short notice. But you have to know, that the decision you make here is unfortunately your final one. Once you choose, you can’t change your mind again. Good news is you don’t have to decide right away, you have until midnight tonight. So, take some time, meet some more people and ask a few questions, okay?’

And that, apparently, is the end of the conversation, since Jared gets pushed out into the main room and is left to awkwardly wave when everybody looks at him.

Turns out, Danneel’s a bit of a gossip. In the hour that followed Jared’s eviction from Jeff’s office, Jared’s learned a bunch of things he deems important, including to leave the room if Tom and Mike are in it, because they don’t care about audiences; to never accept anything from Misha, even if it’s sealed; and to never, ever, touch Katie’s ice-cream scoops. He’s also warned to be wary of Genevieve’s advances, since Jared’s just her type, and to make sure the coffee pot always has at least one cup left in it, and if he drinks it, to make more immediately, or Jensen will be his permanent enemy. Even though he has no idea who Genevieve and Jensen are, he figures that avoiding two potentially crazy people is up on the list of things to remember. He’s also found out how Danneel came to be here, which involved her falling off the Titanic three days into its journey.

‘Figures though, that the next day it’d hit that fucking iceberg. And you know what, with the “women and children first” policy, plus me being from oil money and all, I’d have survived that too. That’s irony for you.’ She picks at her fingernails. The colour on them reminds Jared of blood, and he wonders if she chose that colour on purpose.

‘And tell him how you managed to fall off the Titanic, Danni,’ Misha calls from where he’s lying on a couch with a bright pink drink in one hand and a gardening magazine in the other.

Danneel humphs. ‘I was drunk,’ she says, ‘You know that scene in the movie with the “I’m flying Jack!”? Well, yeah, I was sort of doing that, just with no corny words and nobody else around. Went straight over the side of the ship.’

Misha breaks out into cackles and Danneel glares at him. ‘Well Misha, how about you tell him how you came to no longer be alive.’

Misha looks at Jared. ‘I got high with a friend, got cocky, stole a bus and went highway surfing.’ Jared laughs at that. ‘It was amazingly fun, while it lasted.’

‘And,’ Jared says, ‘you both don’t regret what happened? Either exiting like you did or choosing to do this reaping thing?’

‘Hell no,’ they both say, and Danneel goes on, ‘little upset right after it happened, you know, but it’s happened, in the past, and this job is pretty awesome, so…’ she shrugs.

‘And I met Vicki after I fell off that bus,’ Misha interjects, ‘and she’s the love of my life, well, afterlife. Both really. In fact, she reaped me.’ A dopey grin and a faraway look spreads on his face. ‘Oh yeah, no regrets.’

Jared’s about to look away because, yeah, uncomfortable, and so he’s relieved when the door that leads to the corridor and ice-cream shop bangs open and he has an excuse to do so. In the doorway stands a blond guy, squinting a little and still wearing his robe. He throws his arms up in the air and announces ‘What’s up, my bitches?’ but nobody replies. The blond guy doesn’t look like he expected anybody to do so and isn’t fazed by the lack of response. He spots their group, however, and makes a beeline for them.

‘That’s Chad,’ Danneel sighs.

‘He’s abhorrent,’ Misha says, ‘but for some reason, we like him.’

‘Danni, baby,’ Chad says with a leer, ‘when are you going to sleep with me?’

‘Not even if you grow a vagina, Chad,’ Danneel says, ‘and my answer will be the same tomorrow when you ask me all over again.’

‘Give it time,’ he says. ‘One day, you’ll realise just how much you want the Chaddinator, and then we’ll go boom boom until the sun comes up. Until then, I’ll keep asking.’

‘Chad, this is Jared,’ Danneel says quickly. ‘He’s new.’

‘Jay, man,’ Chad holds his hand up in high-five position, so Jared goes to slap it, but his hand moves straight through Chad. That little tingly feeling he was getting whenever people walked through him out on the street passes through him again. Chad grins. ‘Not many people do that, well done, I like you.’ He points a finger at Jared. ‘You’re Sandy’s shoelace boy.’

‘Oh God, Sandy told you?’ Jared asks.

‘Well, no,’ Chad says, ‘but she and Katie were talking about it when I came in.’

‘Shoelace boy?’ Misha asks.

‘Long story,’ Jared says, because he has a funny feeling he knows exactly how they’ll react when they find out how he ended up here. ‘She told Katie?’

‘She didn’t have to,’ Danneel says, ‘Katie’s the receptionist. As soon as you bite it, she gets all the info on it immediately, like downloaded into her or something so she can write up the official report.’

‘Nobody needs to tell her anything,’ Chad says with a solemn face, ‘because Katie already knows everything.’

‘But, shoelace boy?’ Danneel says. Jared sighs. He’d rather they find out from him.

‘I was coming out of my building and I tripped on my shoelace. Cracked my neck on a heavy duty dumpster.’

There’s a moment when all three of them look down at Jared’s shoes and those stupid rainbow laces, and he’s relieved because they don’t see him blush (if he blushes, because he’s not sure how it looks, him being transparent and all) and then they all burst out laughing. And don’t stop.

Danneel’s wiping tears from her eyes, for godsakes.

‘It’s not all fun and games at the end of the rainbow,’ Chad says, and they laugh even harder.

To top it all off, Jared doesn’t even have the density needed to tie up the shoelace that got him into this mess.

Jared entertains himself for the next hour or so by watching Danneel and Misha rib each other out- Chad disappeared off to his room to take a pre-dinner nap, which set everyone but Chad into hysterics all over again- but he has to walk away from the verbal sparring match when it degenerates into childish name-calling. He notices that everyone seems happy, and he hears snippets of their reaps- hit by a flying toilet seat, man, it was awesome!- as they recount them to their friends. Doing nothing but watching others gives him time to think back on his own life.

Overall, he’s pleased with it, and he’s proud of the little things he did, like volunteering at the homeless shelter and helping those he could, because he feels like it gave his life some meaning. But, that’s just it, that’s all that had meaning. He might be pleased with how his life went, but to be honest, he knows it was boring as hell for the most part. He got roped into doing accounting at college by his parents instead of doing the lit degree like he wanted, but after the last company he worked for went bankrupt because their CEOs couldn’t keep their hands out of the money bags, he hadn’t bothered to look for a well-paying job. Which is why he was doing the bookkeeping for a Laundromat a couple of blocks over, and why he was wearing sneakers that morning instead of a suit and dress shoes.

He hasn’t had a girlfriend (or boyfriend, since he’s equal opportunities in that department) in years, mostly due to that stupid corporate job and the subsequent apathy. He never had friends in his corporate world, because they were all pretentious fuckwits, and though he got on well with the Laundromat owners and the other shelter volunteers, he never hung out with them outside of work. As for his family, he got a voicemail from his brother the other week but it was to remind him he needed to be back in Texas for Thanksgiving, and the last he saw of his mom and his sister was at his dad’s funeral- a heart attack a little over a year ago (he wonders briefly where his dad is now), but really, that’s only because they’re in separate states. He still calls, well- called frequently, but it was getting more and more difficult to keep conversations going when he had nothing new in his life to report. He hopes his mom is okay, she’s probably found out about Jared’s demise by now.

Frankly, Jared’s life sucked (apart from the helping people thing, but even he couldn’t help everyone, and it just made him sad to think about that) and he thinks, maybe his afterlife could be just that little bit better.

This thought is what leads him back to Jeff’s office, and when Jeff calls a ‘come in’ Jared takes a seat without being asked and with a grin just says, ‘Where do I sign up?’

As it turns out, there’s an actual contract, and Jared has to press his hand to the space at the end of it, since he can’t grab hold of a pen. When he does so, he feels his fingertips tingling, and as he watches, his hand begins to regain a more solid color, becoming slightly heavier, and Jared can feel the paper on his skin. The sensation spreads up his arm and he realizes he’s getting his body back, and as he feels his organs fleshing out properly, he also realizes he hasn’t eaten since his overcooked eggs that morning, and he’s hungry.

Very hungry.

Jeff cackles when he hears Jared’s stomach rumble loudly.

‘Sorry,’ Jared says, a little chagrined. Jeff just waves it off.

‘Don’t worry, you’re not the first. Go on, get,’ he says, ‘go get some food into you. You can come back when you’re done.’ Jared hesitates. ‘Seriously, kid, we’ve got all the time in the world now to get your orientation done, so get out of my office and let me file this paperwork properly.’

Jared gets, because he’s starting to get hunger pains.

At least he has the presence of mind to tie that stupid shoelace before he trips again.

He’s just polished off his second plate of pasta and is watching Danneel do an interpretation of Genevieve, and even though Jared can’t measure it up to the real thing, it’s still amusing to watch her prance around the kitchen in her tallest heels and shortest skirt, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she flirts with the refrigerator. What’s even more amusing is that Chad’s begun drooling next to him, eyes flitting between Danneel’s ass, chest and mouth depending on what she’s popping out from her body at the time. Misha’s giggling constantly, but he also has a rolled cigarette between his fingers, and Jared suspects it’s more than tobacco in the paper. Sandy’s back too, perched on the counter with a milkshake and commenting with things Danneel should do next, with the exception of sluttily drinking the last of the coffee.

‘No way, Sands, Jensen’s due back soon, and Jensen likes me, and I really want Jensen to keep on liking me.’

Sandy nods in concession, but before she can reply Jeff makes an appearance. He hands a book to Jared and says he has to read it before he can get started with the job. Jared nods, even though the book is about as thick as an encyclopaedia, and then Danneel cuts in.

‘So, Jeff, who did you assign him to?’

‘Assign?’ Jared asks.

‘All newbies get assigned to a reaper before they qualify as one themselves,’ Sandy explains. ‘Like an internship, or a mentor program. Basically, you don’t get to wear the cloaks and carry the blades until you have enough experience.’

‘It’s fairly simple,’ Misha says, ‘just make sure you reap the right souls and you’ll earn your knuckles in no time.’

‘So Jeff,’ Danneel says, a little louder, ‘who did you assign him to? Which unlucky son of a bitch gets to have him tag along?’ She winks at Jared when she says that, so Jared doesn’t take offence.

But Jeff looks suddenly awkward, and his hand goes to rub the back of his neck. ‘Well, uh, jessun,’ he mumbles.

‘Sorry?’ Danneel leans in closer to him. ‘We didn’t catch that.’

Jeff clears his throat and breathes in deep. ‘Jensen,’ he says on the exhale, ‘Jared, you’ve been assigned to Jensen.’

Jensen, the coffee-addicted guy that he still hasn’t met. Okay, he can live with that. And apparently Chad can too, even if his eyes go wide and his mouth opens dramatically. But the other three, apparently can’t, since they launch into talking over the top of one another with Why would you do that?s and Isn’t there any other way?s and at one point he hears Misha say, ‘You’re a cruel dealer of fate, Jeffrey Morgan.’

Jeff takes it all in stride until they run out of steam and their arguments die out, but when he goes to say something else Danneel butts in with, ‘You’re so not getting a Christmas card this year,’ and Misha tacks on, ‘Assbut.’ Jeff ignores them.

‘Management says so,’ he says. ‘The big guy specifically asked for it- he wants Jared here paired up with Jen. Says it might do Jensen some good, and frankly, I’m inclined to agree with him.’

‘He has a point,’ Sandy says in a soft voice. ‘Jensen could do with someone like Jared in his afterlife.’

‘Sure,’ Danneel scoffs, ‘if Jensen doesn’t end up smothering Jared in his sleep.’

Jared blanches.

‘Oh, don’t worry,’ Misha says. ‘You can’t be killed anyway, so mostly it’d just be uncomfortable.’

The reassurance isn’t all that reassuring. Danneel sighs.

‘I didn’t quite mean it like that. What I meant was, well- Jared, you’re awesome, okay? And I don’t give out awesome labels easily, so take it and wear it with pride. You’re bright and smiley and your shoelaces are rainbow for christsakes, and Jensen? Well, Jensen’s nice, he really is, and he’s cool once you get to know him, and he really is a great person… he just has trouble showing it.’

‘A lot of trouble,’ Chad snorts.

‘And he’s not the easiest person to get on with, so just, be really patient and stock up on coffee. I’m sure he’ll warm up to you eventually, but he might just take his time getting there.’

‘Though really,’ Misha points out, ‘you’ll probably fly through your newbieness with Jensen. He’s really serious about the job, so you’ll get your knuckles in no time.’

‘What does that mean anyway?’ Jared asks.

In response, they all (including Jeff) hold out their right hands to Jared so he can see their knuckles. They’ve got black marks on them that look like dots, but when Jared looks closer he can make out the details of runes marking them, though he doesn’t know what they stand for. They’re in varying clearness- Jeff’s are dark and stand out starkly against the skin, where Misha’s are faint and grey in colour. The other three are somewhere in between.

‘Oh, I see,’ Jared says. ‘Knuckles.’

‘They’re a mark of reapership,’ Sandy says. ‘When you’ve completed your first reap, you’ll get them too, like a graduation diploma. They’ll get darker with the more years and experience you have.’

‘Oh, speak of the devil,’ Misha says, and they all turn to where he’s looking, which happens to be the door to the corridor.

Two guys have just entered, one short with hair down to his shoulders, his face set in a bit of a scowl. A series of rubber and cord bracelets line his wrists. The other, though, is tall and smoking, with eyes so green Jared can see them clear across the room. He’s expressionless, like chiselled marble, and Jared wants to kick himself with how Harlequin he’s being. But this guy, this guy is almost ethereal, practically gliding across the floor towards them. He gets closer and his face just gets sharper, defined cheekbones and long eyelashes and jesus fuck, that mouth. Jared’s always prided himself on seeing the beauty beneath, and never judging based on looks alone, but this guy is blowing that all out of the water and making Jared want.

He’s never wanted more in his life.

‘I’d better talk to Jensen before anybody else does, okay guys?’ Jeff says, and everybody nods in agreement.

‘The short grumpy one is Kane,’ Chad says.

‘Mmm, Christian Kane,’ Sandy says, and her voice drops a register, to Jared’s surprise.

‘And the pretty one is Jensen,’ Danneel interjects. ‘That’s who’ll you be roaming around with.’

And oh yeah, Jared is totally on board with that.

Both guys end up at the kitchen and nod to Jeff, who nods back. Kane goes to the fridge and pops open a beer, but Jensen goes straight to the coffee machine and pours the last of it into a mug that he gets from the cupboard above it. When he’s added a small spoon of sugar but nothing else, he refills the machine and sets it to make another pot. He may be crazy about the coffee, but at least he’s decent about providing it to others too.

‘Jensen,’ Jeff says delicately, ‘could I talk to you about something?’

Jensen pauses mid-sip and looks closer at Jeff, who begins to squirm under Jensen’s unemotional gaze. His shoulders slump in relief when Jensen nods and they leave the kitchen. The group watches until Jeff’s office door closes, and then Chad lets out a breath.

‘Alright, I’m going to go hide out in my room now, there’s no way I’m staying out here when Jeff breaks the news.’

‘What news?’ Kane asks.

‘This here is Jared.’ Danneel waves a hand in Jared’s direction and Kane gives him a nod. ‘And Management has decided that Jared is to be assigned to Jensen.’

Kane chokes and spits his beer a clear few feet.

Jared gets the feeling that maybe he should have declined the position and just moved on to eternal rest.

He first properly meets Jensen later that evening, when he’s getting his bearings in his new room. The building, as he finds out from Chad and Danneel, is basically like one big apartment block once you leave the employee lounge.

Apparently, everybody just lives above the ice-cream shop.

Danneel says that nobody owns any other places of residence, mainly because it’s difficult. Reaping, while done generally in shifts, doesn’t exactly work to a clock roster, and it’s awkward to explain to the neighbours why you’re coming back at eight in the morning with a large blade-on-a-stick. Chad points out that this place has anything and everything anyway, so there’s no need to live anywhere else.

Danneel also tells him that most people in their position only date other reapers, because what live person is going to understand that kind of job, so there’s no real need to keep up appearances to prospective dates. She finally tells him that since there isn’t much warning before you get notified that you are allowed to move on, there’s no point in having some apartment somewhere where you have to sort out what will happen to it and the things in it on such short notice.

Besides, as Chad points out again, this place is pretty damn awesome.

There are two apartments to every floor, with the exception of the top, which apparently is a penthouse and is reserved for the boss, which is Jeff at the moment. When Jeff gets to move on, the next boss will take it. The remaining apartments are randomly allocated, and though Chad complains because he’s on the lowest floor and feels that having been bug food for a hundred and fifty years entitles him to move up in the building, Jared thinks it’d be a pain having to relocate all the time just because experience grants him a higher place of residence.

And besides, Jared’s room is on the twelfth floor, so he’s really glad the newbies don’t have to take the bottom levels.

They’re big too, bigger than standard apartments, like penthouses in themselves, and it makes Jared wonder what Jeff’s floor must be like. The kitchen’s big, the bedroom’s even bigger, and the bathroom comes equipped with a deep, almost pool-like bathtub and enormous shower. Its décor is glamorous too, like a room at a fancy hotel with black leather couches and marble benchtops. There’s a 70inch plasma mounted on the wall and the fridge is already stocked with beer (Jared’s favorite) and the pantry has a whole shelf dedicated to gummy candy. He vaguely wonders how his heaven (when he gets there) will ever match up to the heaven he’s in now.

But anyway, he’s sort of lying on his living room floor with his arms and legs splayed out to his sides and a bag of gummy worms within reach, just admiring the sheer wonderfulness that is his new apartment, when the doorbell rings.

On the other side is Jensen, and Jared nearly chokes on the sour worm he has in his mouth, because oh god, freckles. He swallows hastily.

‘Hi!’ he says, and hopes it didn’t come across as too enthusiastic.

‘Hi,’ Jensen mumbles, and a very female hand in dark red nailpolish darts out from the right to hit Jensen on the arm. ‘I’m Jensen, and I will be your reaper guide.’

Two sighs, one female and one male, echo from the hallway, so Jared figures Danneel’s not the only person out there. Jared tries not to smile too wide or laugh, he doesn’t think Jensen will appreciate that.

‘I’m Jared,’ he replies, ‘and I’m very much looking forward to working with you.’

Jensen’s mouth twists a little and he opens it to reply but before he can say anything a male hand, wrists adorned with rubber and cord bracelets- Kane- darts into view from Jensen’s other side and thwacks him on the arm. Jensen’s mouth snaps shut.

‘I hear you’re the best,’ Jared says quickly, and though nobody’s told him such, it pays to be a little flattering.

Jensen tilts his head slightly. ‘Um, thank you…’ He says it like a question. ‘Well, uh, I don’t have any reaps to do tomorrow, so you should probably go over the manual and if you have any questions, I’ll be either in the lounge, the library or my room.’ His offer is stilted, and he sounds a little uncomfortable at the mention of Jared spending time with him, but it doesn’t sound mean, just like he doesn’t quite know how to deal with people and Jared figures that he’ll spend some time with Jensen tomorrow regardless of whether he has any questions or not, just so Jensen can get used to his presence. Jared tells himself it has nothing to do with Jensen’s attractiveness and yes, let’s face it, mysteriousness, and he’s being completely altruistic by taking up that offer.

‘Sure, thanks, Jensen.’

A cough comes from Kane’s side of the doorway. Jensen looks to where he must be standing, and Jared can only see Jensen’s side of what appears to be a serious body language conversation going on. Jensen turns back to him.

‘I’m on the fourteenth floor, on the left.’ Jared nods. A cough now comes from Danneel’s side and Jensen looks at her this time.

‘Party,’ she hisses.

‘Why should I tell him?’ Jensen whispers.

‘Because you’re his mentor!’ Jensen clearly looks like he wants to argue this logic but dutifully faces Jared once again.

‘So every month there’s a party, and everybody takes turns in hosting it. This Friday it’s at Sandy’s, she’s on the eleventh floor on the right. You don’t have to bring anything unless you really want to, but I would suggest bringing some kind of alcoholic beverage.’

Danneel pokes her head round the doorframe. ‘Usually when we get a newbie, we break the party roster and make them host, but since it’s such short notice you’re relieved this time around. You should get planning though- you’ll be hosting next month’s party, as per the newbie rules.’ She disappears from sight again.

Jensen holds out his hand and Jared takes it, shakes it a couple of times. ‘It was good to meet you,’ Jensen says, still awkwardly, and Jared says ‘You too,’ and he absolutely means it. He looks down at his hands to see Jensen’s knuckles, and his eyes widen in surprise. They’re dark, darker than Jeff’s, and the runes are so densely packed to the point where they’re written on top of each other. They’re almost solid circles, only tiny patches of skin that show that they’re not, and the colour bleeds out slightly into the rest of his fingers.

Jensen pulls his hand back to his chest when he notices Jared watching, and without saying anything else, just turns and walks away, bypassing the elevator and taking the stairs.

Jared wants to run after him and apologize for upsetting him, but he’s not sure Jensen would be up to listening.

‘Well, that went surprisingly well,’ Kane says.

Danneel hmms in agreement.

Jared runs into Sandy a little later when he goes exploring, and finds the library that Jensen mentioned. It too is off the employee lounge, and it's huge, four times the size of Jared’s apartment and a good three floors in height, furnished in that old polished wood style. He finds Sandy on the ground floor level, curled up on a gigantic armchair and reading War and Peace.

‘Wow,’ he says, ‘heavy.’

She smiles up at him. ‘It was my favorite book when I was alive. My father taught me how to read through Tolstoy.’

Jared laughs. ‘How times have changed, huh? I learned to read through Sesame Street and See Spot Run’.

‘See Spot Run is a classic.’ She grins at him. ‘Oh hey! You got told about the party, yeah?’

‘Yes,’ Jared says.

‘Good, I told everyone not to harass you about hosting it, since it’s only a couple of days away. For future reference, though, it’s always on the last Friday of each month. And, since it’s October and that means Halloween next week, it’s a Halloween double-up party. So make sure you dress up!’

Jared laughs at that and agrees. He hasn’t been to a Halloween party since right before college.

‘There’s only one rule,’ Sandy’s tone turns serious. ‘Do not dress up as the grim reaper.’

‘I can see how that would be tacky.’

‘I know, right? And hey, keep an eye on Chad too, because he always thinks it’s an awesome idea, and we have to make sure he gets steered toward a different, more appealing costume choice.’

He assures her he will, and sets off around the library. About five minutes later he’s in the German section examining the leather spines in front of him when a small body squeezes its way in front of him. He goes to stand back, thinking the body wants a book he’s blocking, but hands settle on his waist and tug him back in. He looks down, to see a brunette licking her lips at him.

‘Hi, I’m Genevieve.’

Oh, oh… Genevieve.

‘I’m Jared.’ He tries not to squeak while speaking, he really does.

‘I know,’ she purrs, and her hands drift upwards to lie on his chest, idly stroking. ‘How about I give you a tour, show you around all the cozy places. I’ll show you where my apartment is.’

And wow, talk about forward. Jared gently pries her hands off where they’re going for gold on his nipples and keeps a hold on them when they change direction and head for his belt.

‘That is very kind of you, Genevieve, but you know, today is my first day, and I haven’t even read the manual-’

‘We could do a study session, I’ll tutor you, show you everything you need to know.’

‘That’s okay, really.’ His squeaking gets more prominent. ‘It’s just been a long day and I think I still have to process all this but hey, maybe next week or something, yeah?’

She’s not unattractive, with big brown eyes and pouty lips that remind him vaguely of a certain awkward freckly mentor, but the way she’s looking at him, up through her eyelashes, her tongue darting out to move slowly across her lips, just makes her look a little ridiculous. He thinks she’d be more sexy if she stopped trying to be sexy.

And besides, Jared’s never been one for girls who display themselves so prominently. They’re too flighty at the best of times, and they’re always attracted to his height and the size of his hands (which are indeed proportionate, thank you very much puberty) but don’t like it so much when they find out that he’s a lot on the boring side and looking for a long term thing.

He manages to step away from her, and she pouts, but smoothes it over.

‘Next week then,’ she says and winks at him, ‘but if you change your mind, I’m on the third floor.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind,’ Jared says, and flees the library. There’s plenty of time to explore, preferably when Genevieve’s out reaping other souls. Once is plenty enough for him.

He sighs. This is going to be a very long afterlife.

next

[RPF]: Just Don't Mention the "D" Word. Part Two

2011-11-24T17:27:58Z

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Death is terrifying because it is so ordinary. It happens all the time.
~ Susan Cheever

For a job that consists primarily of watching someone else take a soul and send it straight on to an afterlife, there is a shitload of paperwork required. First there’s the info on the soul they’re gonna get, then there’s the transfer papers for the soul that’s sent along to the processing center (and there’s seriously a processing center for souls), and then there’s the daily report each reaper has to submit that gives a rundown of the day’s progress. Jared seriously never wants to be Jeff, since he’s the one that has to handle it all. Neither does he want to be Katie, who, as receptionist, mediates it all to Jeff while also running the ice-cream section of the building. It seems like the only person who doesn’t hate the paperwork (apart from Katie, who fucking revels in her job) is Jensen, who diligently isolates himself at one of the corner tables of the lounge or the library after each shift and writes up pages and pages on how his reaps went.

Jared doesn’t know how he manages that much. Sure, Jared isn’t doing any reaping himself yet, so he doesn’t have much to say in his own reports, but even Danneel and Misha’s reports are only a page and a half at most, if something goes wrong. Chad’s reports don’t count since he usually hands in a napkin with a list of names ticked off. Jensen though, Jensen writes fucking theses on his day, and Jared can’t help but be paranoid that those reports include comments about Jared. Speaking of which:

‘I don’t think Jensen likes me very much.’

He wants to say that he has a lot to base that statement on, but unfortunately, all he’s got is that Jensen basically ignores the fact that Jared’s even there, until he suddenly and tersely gives him information. Generally it’s info on the poor soul they’re collecting, since the actual reaping involves a brush of Jensen’s hand against some part of their skin. And it has to be skin.

There was one memorable reap where they dude they were after was bundled up in full on snow gear, with gloves and a ski mask in the middle of main street, and Jared didn’t know how they were supposed to be able to touch him without being highly inappropriate, even if they were invisible. Jared had asked if they couldn’t just wait until the guy breathed his last before nabbing the soul. Jensen had scowled.

‘Well, you could, if you wanted to be cruel,’ he said.

‘How so?’

‘Did you feel any pain when you di- moved into motel eternity?’ Jensen asked. Jared was thrown for a moment because Jensen was the first experienced reaper that had slipped and nearly said that word.

‘No, I didn’t.’

‘That’s because Sandy reaped your soul before the event occurred. If she hadn’t, it would have been very painful. It’s a courtesy to them. They’re leaving their world, their life, the least we can do is make it peaceful.’

‘What about if they’re in a car accident, or stuck crushed under something and it’s painful… or a heart attack. Is it that they got uncaring reapers?’

Jensen was silent for a moment. ‘Sometimes,’ he said quietly, ‘but usually it’s that we can’t get to them before that happens, and we can only take away that pain after they’ve already experienced it.’

‘So what do you do if you can’t get close enough to the skin?’

Jensen had closed his eyes then and said, ‘Occasionally you have to make it happen,’ and the next thing Jared knew, the guy’s phone beeped with an incoming text. He removed a glove because pressing buttons, even on those fancy touch screens is a bitch with something covering your hands, and Jensen used that moment and moved in, trailed his fingers along the guy’s thumb.

And then they had waited.

‘He likes you, don’t worry.’ Danneel’s voice brings him back. They’re on the couches in the lounge, Danneel lying sideways and flicking through a gossip magazine while Jared pretends to not be watching Jensen.

‘But how do you know?’ Jared says. ‘He’s so quiet, and professional, and when he does talk it’s like he really doesn’t want to be. For all I know he’s over there right now, writing up how annoying I am and that I won’t be good at reaping. Or maybe he’s not writing the report at all, and is just printing out I hate Jared Padalecki over and over again.’

Danneel snorts.

‘I’m serious, Danni.’

‘I know, which is why it’s so funny.’ She sits up. ‘I know that he doesn’t not like you because he hasn’t mentioned you.’

‘At all? But that could mean that he’s secretly hating me.’

‘Jensen makes his displeasure known, believe me. He’s a bit special in that department, doesn’t really talk about what he does like, but makes it well known if something’s annoying him. Not being mentioned means he has nothing negative to say about you, which, while it’s true that it doesn’t mean he does like you, certainly means that he doesn’t not like you.’

And okay, once you get past the double negatives, it makes sense.

‘Besides, he told me this morning that he thinks you’re doing very well. Said you’re attentive and professional and good company.’

Jared looks at her. ‘Well you could have said that first.’

So okay, maybe Jensen likes him, as much as Jensen can seem to like anybody (except Kane, who Jensen seems to like a lot, and Danneel, who, though not in that same category as Christian Kane, certainly seems to have a special place in Jensen’s life. He’d be suspicious of a relationship if he didn’t already know that Danneel prefers boobs, no penis, and Katie, who despite her groping and flirting when he met her, returns the preference) but Jared kind of wants Jensen to like like him, for lack of a more mature term.

It’s only been three days, but Jared’s attraction has grown into a full blown crush on Jensen. It’s more than just his looks, too. Jensen’s intelligent, highly so, and has a dry wit that seems embarrass him when it slips out. Jared just last night accidentally walked in on Jensen and Chris talking in the library, and hid before they could spot him, because Jensen uninhibited is stunning, his smile and laugh lighting him up, and he’s hilarious when he lets go and lets that humor out. Jared had spent a good half an hour with his hand over his mouth stifling his own laughter.

But when Jensen is around others, and even more so when he puts on that robe and holds his scythe, he’s distant and quiet, almost cold and unfailingly professional. He attempts to become as invisible as the uniform makes him to the living, both of which Jared found out on his first day out.

Jensen had been waiting in the kitchen, coffee mug firmly planted in hand when Jared got downstairs on his very first reaping day, although just about everybody told him he wasn’t going to be doing any reaping himself. But he didn’t want to call it his observation day, so reaping day it was. Jared had deliberated for a solid forty-six minutes over what to wear, which was possible only because he and Sandy had gone shopping the previous day. Jared didn’t want to spend the rest of eternity in the clothes that he had bit the biscuit in, and besides, he was corporeal now, which meant dirt and sweat and smells, so new clothes (and food) sounded good.

Jared had eventually settled on slacks and a plain white shirt, and after much umming and ahhing, grabbed a tie as well. Sandy said that most reapers generally had the same kind of clothes they used as unofficial work clothes (and yes, that included the pink heels she was wearing the day she reaped Jared) so he felt justified in choosing something that looked serious, but was comfortable. It worried him a little that what he had settled on was remarkably similar to what he wore for work when he was alive, but figured that at least it gave him a professional air.

He decided to wear the sneakers with the rainbow laces for sentimentality’s sake.

Jensen was dressed in the same kind of clothes that Jared had first seen him in, black slacks and a plain white t-shirt, and Jared had half a mind to go back upstairs and change into a tank, just to level the playing field a little. Jensen waited until Jared finished his own coffee and then stood, waved at him to follow.

At the series of hooks and cupboards by the door to the ice-cream shop, Jensen paused at his own, the one that said ‘~~Jensen~~Jennybean ;)’.

‘Chris thinks he’s hilarious,’ Jensen said, ‘but he’s not. He’s an asshole,’ and pointed to the hook one spot down, which read ‘~~Kane~~Asshole’. Jared laughed and Jensen gave him a small smile.

‘So, these robes aren’t worn for dramatic effect, regardless of the effect they do have when the soul finally sees you. These robes actually keep us hidden- as soon as we put them on, no one alive can see us.’

‘That explains why we could go shopping and talk to people, but why nobody was paying attention to Sandy when she reaped me.’

‘Exactly. Basically, the robes protect us from prying eyes, nosy neighbors that might call cops on the weird loiterers, and anybody who would call the cops on somebody carrying a giant blade.’ Jensen’s mouth curved in a smirk. ‘It has happened, and it’s not a conversation you really want to have with law enforcement. The scythe is, unfortunately, important though, so we need the magic invisibility cloaks.’

Jared had laughed at that but asked, ‘What does the scythe do?’

‘It holds the souls until they can be processed.’

Jensen had put on the robe by now and removed his scythe from the cupboard. Jared could see a ‘J’ imprinted on the blade, like Sandy’s had an ‘S’.

‘They’re personalized?’

Jensen nodded. ‘It helps with the processing. It’s like an identification key, or a barcode, lets the processing center know which reaper picked up the soul so that they can match it to who it’s supposed to be.’

‘Does it get confusing to know which one’s yours, like, when I get mine, they’ll both have Js on them?’

‘Only in appearances. A scythe learns you, and you learn it. If you were to pick up mine, you’d feel instantly that it didn’t belong to you. It would feel wrong to hold it.’

‘That’s… pretty cool,’ Jared had said.

‘I suppose, I never thought about it that way.’

‘Well, trust me, it is. And hey, do I get a magic invisibility cloak or something too- I’m not going out there when I can be seen, am I? I don’t want the cops called because people think I’m a nut job because I’m talking to myself.’

Jensen shook his head, and walked further down the line to where an empty and unnamed hook stood. ‘No robe, not yet. It’s like the scythe or the knuckles- it’s a mark of your position. Until then, you get to wear this-’ He opened the cupboard with a flourish and pulled out a pin in the shape of an ice-cream. ‘Just attach it anywhere, it’ll work the same way.’

Jared took it and pinned it to the base of his tie.

‘And this,’ Jensen handed over what looked like a miniature version of a scythe, ‘is yours too. It won’t do much, but you will need to get used to carrying it around, and it’ll help if we end up with a wayward soul that’ll try to run away. In that case, just swing the scythe in a motion toward you, it’ll bring the soul back to where you’re standing.

‘So, are you ready?’

‘Ready as I’ll ever be,’ Jared replied.

‘Good, because we have to be on the other side of town in thirteen minutes.’

Jared's musing is broken when Chad flops down next to him.

‘So, what are you guys going as to Sandy’s party?’ he asks. ‘Are you going to put on something sexy for me, Harris?’

Danneel rolls her eyes. ‘Hardly, but if you must know, both Katie and I are going as librarians.’

‘Sexy librarians?’ Chad says.

‘Maybe,’ Danneel answers. ‘But not for you.’

‘Why are you both going as the same thing?’ Jared asks.

‘We both wanted to see the other in pencil skirts and glasses, and because we couldn’t decide who in fact was going to miss out, we both decided to do it.’

‘Man, lesbian librarians. Are we sure it’s Halloween, cause it sounds like Christmas.’

Jared laughs. ‘You know, Chad, “lesbian” means not into men, so even if you were happy to just watch, you do realise that they’re not, so it’s never gonna happen.’

Chad waves a hand. ‘Details,’ he says, ‘and I’m cool for it to never happen. As long as I get to see the outfits as they’ll be appearing in my fantasies, I’m good.’

Jared thinks that might be the most respectable thing Chad’s said all week. Danneel looks like she agrees. ‘And what about you, Jared? What are you wearing?’

‘A man-thong, I hope,’ Misha says as he joins them. ‘That’d be Christmas, my birthday and Vicki’s birthday all in one.’

‘Well, sorry to disappoint,’ Jared says wryly, ‘but I’m going as a fireman.’

Misha nods. ‘Next best thing. Don’t worry, I’m no longer crushed by your choice against the man-thong.’

Danneel throws a pillow at him.

Misha and Vicki are the only couple to be living together, though rumor has it that Tom’s apartment has been unlived-in for a while now. Not even Danneel and Katie (who lives in the apartment opposite Jensen) have gone that far. The empty apartment, which happens to be opposite Chad on the second floor, has been converted into a gym, which Jared made use of last night, and will most likely be using often, considering how much of a high he runs on after being with Jensen all day. It’s not the most adrenaline-pumping job, but Jensen’s presence is filling in the blanks.

Speaking of, he looks back over to the corner where Jensen was to find him gone, probably upstairs to get ready, since there’s only an hour to go before Sandy’s party is due to start. At least, Jared’s hoping he’s getting ready, and not sequestered away and planning on skipping out on the party. Chris- who told Jared that being called Kane was weird and impersonal- had assured them that he would make sure Jensen was there no matter what, but Jared knows what Jensen’s like when he gets stubborn.

Part of him wants Jensen to come because he wants to see Jensen mingle with other people a little more. From what Jared can tell, just about everybody likes Jensen, they’re just awkward around him and a little afraid because he’s really grumpy pre-and-in-between-coffee. Jensen comes across as a little uptight; he’s hard to talk to, prefers very little, if any, company, and when he does make small talk, it’s stilted and he has a habit of insulting people, and though it’s obvious he doesn’t mean to, he also doesn’t notice when he’s done so.

The other part of Jared just wants to see Jensen in a costume, get that prickly personality into a fun-loving outfit and show everybody that yes, Jensen can be cool too.

He has his fingers crossed for a positive outcome.

Thankfully, not least to Jared’s intervention, Chad is not dressed as the grim reaper. Jared somehow managed to convince Chad that being a ghostbuster would get the ladies’ attention, and it has, just not in the way that Jared had led Chad to believe, if the laughing is any indication. To be fair, Chad does look ridiculous, because he took the whole ghostbuster thing to heart and initiates conversation by head bopping and singing who you gonna call? which makes him look a little like a demented musical turkey.

Sandy’s party, on the other hand, is spectacular. She’s gone full out Halloween decorations, and the entire place smells like spiced pumpkin, because she’s been baking all day. She’s dressed as a leprechaun, and when Jared walked in the door she handed him a chocolate coin. Jared hasn’t celebrated Halloween since he was seventeen and had to take his sister around the neighborhood, so to do so again, even if it is just sitting around and chatting with a beer rather than trick-or-treating, is pretty exciting.

He finds Danneel and Katie in the kitchen, dressed in matching skirts and glasses, and their shirts are just on the tight side of small, pulling across their chests. It’s distracting, which, judging by their smirks, is exactly what they were going for. Jared puts his beer in Sandy’s fridge and winks at the girls, but has to double back into the kitchen when he spots Genevieve looking around the room intently. She’s dressed in something that resembles Princess Leia’s gold bikini, but with even less cloth.

‘Avoiding someone there, cowboy?’ Danneel’s tone is wry and knowing.

‘Not a cowboy, clearly,’ Jared replies as he gestures to his outfit.

‘Oh we can see that,’ Katie says, ‘it’s very obvious.’ She leers and wiggles her eyebrows, ‘You’ll have to show me your hose later.’

Jared laughs. Katie’s flirting is harmless, mostly. She’s pretty whipped for Danneel, and told Jared that she only flirts with Jared because he’s big, manly and studly, and her flirting gets Danneel hot. Danneel had shrugged and said, ‘The sex is brilliant after she gets turned on by you.’

‘I’ll show you anything you want, baby,’ Jared tells her, and she fake swoons into Danneel. At that point, Misha, in an Adam costume, finds them. Thankfully, it’s a little more than just a fig leaf, even if most of him is skin. Jared idly wonders if Vicki’s in an Eve costume, thinks for a moment that it’s really cute, in that weird couple way, but gets sidetracked completely by Jensen in the next room, dressed in tight black jeans and a black t-shirt, eyes done over in kohl and several of Chris’ bracelets on his arms. Jared forgets to breathe for a moment, and it’s not until Misha steps into his line of sight and claps his hands in Jared’s face that Jared realizes he’s been staring, mouth open. Misha looks highly amused, and when Jared turns to the girls, he sees that they’re trying not to laugh.

‘Oh shut up, all of you,’ he says.

Unfortunately, his defiant stalk out of the kitchen puts him right into Genevieve’s arms (yes, literally) as she accosts him just past the doorway, and he has to spend the next twenty minutes trying to keep her hands off his body. He’s only had that one experience in the library with Genevieve’s hands, but he thinks that she really needs to train them not to wander so much.

‘Wanna get out of here?’ she purrs (freaking purrs) into his shoulder, since she can’t reach his ear. ‘We could put these costumes to use. I’ll be the poor princess tied up and you can be my dashing rescuer. Firemen really are today’s heroes. And you know, this princess would be ever so grateful for your assistance…’

Whoa.

Jared looks up and away, swallowing hard for a very different reason than Genevieve was probably intending, only to catch sight of Jensen looking at them, somewhat amused, but with a frown tugging at his mouth. Jared realizes that the way Genevieve’s pressed up against him with her hands where they are- Jared takes a moment to remove them, again- that they probably look quite intimate. He gets the amusement in Jensen’s expression, but doesn’t get why it also seems to be bothering him. Jensen nods at him when he sees Jared watching, and turns back towards where Chris is sitting (rather closely) with Sandy.

‘Oh, nah.’ Jared tries to make his voice as casual as he can. ‘I’m having fun, you know? Wouldn’t want to leave to early, we might miss something worth good blackmail points.’

There’s silence as Genevieve stares at him, and then she relaxes, attempting to snuggle in closer. Her hands move southward again.

‘So hey, I totally need another beer,’ Jared lies, and manages to extricate himself from her grasp, heading back to the kitchen. Genevieve has a pout on, but Jared would totally prefer dealing with Danneel and Katie’s mocking, which they deliver when he gets back to them.

He’s trying to work up the courage to talk to Jensen. It shouldn’t be that difficult, they’ve spent the last two days together, plus the afternoon the previous day when Jared did, in fact, have questions, mostly because that manual reads like it was written in the 1800s. But Jensen’s been sitting on the couch for the past couple of hours, steadily drinking beer, talking occasionally, and looking like he’s ready to leave. Jared’s been downing his own beer in an attempt to build up resolve, but his new immortal body isn’t getting drunk any time soon. All he knows is that he feels pleasantly buzzed, and his plastic fireman’s hat was last seen on Katie.

‘Jared, man,’ a voice says, and Jared turns to see Mike (dressed impressively as a rotting zombie) swaying up to him. ‘How’s it going, dude, how’s your first week been?’

‘Good,’ Jared says, ‘I’m having fun. So far.’

‘Cool man, cool.’ Mike grins at him, ‘So hey, how’s uh, things with Jensen panning out?’ He wiggles his eyebrows.

‘So far so good,’ Jared says honestly. He can’t really say things are amazing, because they’re not, but Jensen’s pretty awesome at the job, and apart from his no nonsense attitude (which Jared is slowly breaking, thank you very much) it’s damn fucking good working with Jensen.

Mike nods like this make sense. ‘You’re good for him,’ he says, ‘we’re kind of lucky to have you.’

‘Yeah?’ Jared hasn’t noticed any change in Jensen’s behavior, but then again, he didn’t really see what Jensen was like before Jared started with him. He has noticed (in the three or four days Jared’s been here) that Jensen’s smiling just a little more on their shifts, but it’s never just in general, always in response to a joke or comment Jared’s made, and it’s never big, and always strained in that way that says Jensen’s trying not to smile, because he’s not used to it.

‘Mhmm.’ Mike’s nodding is moving into bobble head territory and Jared has to wonder if he’s beginning to get dizzy. ‘He was a seriously grumpy bastard just last week. But these past couple of days, he hasn’t yelled or glared at anyone. Hell, he came tonight, which he hasn’t done in a few years, and he’s even talking!’

They both look at Jensen, who’s sipping his beer and looking sideways at a guy named Jake babbling his head off. Jensen’s scowl gets more pronounced as they watch.

‘Well, talking a lot more than usual,’ Mike says.

‘I’m just gonna- go save him, or stop him from committing murder,’ Jared says, and Mike waves him off with a smile.

Jared walks straight up to the couch where Jake and Jensen are and manages to squeeze himself in the space between them. Jake doesn’t stop talking, even as he shifts sideways to accommodate Jared, too caught up in a story involving raccoons and a butterfly net.

‘Hey,’ Jared says to Jensen, letting Jake keep going, ‘figured I should come over here since it looked like you were about to splice Jake in half with your scythe.’

Jensen smiles at that, a real one, and Jared reckons he must be drunker than he looks. ‘Yeah,’ he says, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck. He meets Jared’s eyes. ‘He’d probably talk all through it though.’

Jared tips his head back and laughs. ‘That he would.’ They both look at Jake, who’s moved on to the time he snuck into the White House during Lincoln’s presidency and rearranged the oval office. Apparently, it was the week before he- Jake that is, not Lincoln- was reformatted by God.

‘I reckon if we left, he’d never know,’ Jared says, and Jensen smirks. In a moment of semi-drunken ingenuity, Jared takes Jensen’s hand and launches them both up off the couch. Jensen’s hand (in his, holy shit in his) tenses for a moment, then relaxes.

They make a dash for the kitchen, only for Jared to see Genevieve and quickly adjust course. Not knowing where else to go, he half runs, half drags Jensen out of Sandy’s apartment. Jared reluctantly lets go of Jensen’s hand once they’re in the hallway.

They lean against the wall in silence. It’s not awkward.

‘You look good,’ Jared says, his throat going dry. It’s true, but he means more to the comment and he’s nervous that Jensen will read into that. He might have just held Jensen’s hand, but he could still ruin their burgeoning friendship.

‘Thanks,’ Jensen says, almost shyly. ‘Uh, you do too.’

‘Yeah?’ Jared says, and grins, flexing a little as he strikes a bodybuilder pose. Jensen laughs, full out, and Jared thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s seen in his life, let alone his afterlife.

‘Hey, how about we get away from the mess in there and have a beer somewhere quieter?’ Jared asks.

‘Genevieve won’t be missing you?’

‘Why should she?’ Jared asks. Jensen’s quiet for a long moment, just looking at Jared.

‘Sure,’ he says eventually, ‘although I don’t know how much quieter it’ll be, since you rival Jake on your best of days.’

Jared gasps dramatically, ‘I do not,’ he says indignantly, ‘and I only tell you things that are true.’

‘Liar,’ Jensen says, ‘you told me yesterday that you don’t condition your hair, but Katie asked me this morning if I knew where you were so that she could give you “that fruity stuff” you liked.’ He crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow at Jared.

‘Yes, well, I get a lot of compliments on my hair. I’m pretty sure Jake just makes shit up. I would never make shit up, I only tell stories that are plausible. Like, this one time, right back in high school, I broke into the principal’s office and took this big plastic fish that he prized and was hanging on the wall behind his desk, and he freaked out the next day and ordered a full school locker search, though they didn’t find the fish because I’d taken it home with me, had to walk ten blocks with this thing that was like, heavy duty plastic and weighed something like 40 pounds, and-’

‘You can stop now,’ Jensen says.

‘But I didn’t tell you why I took the fish,’ Jared says. ‘See, there was this troll, and-’

Jensen laughs and walks away toward the elevators.

‘But wait! I didn’t get to the fairy princess!’ Jared calls, and runs after Jensen when the elevator doors start to close.

Though they only end up on Jensen’s couch playing video games (of which, to Jared’s surprise, Jensen has a highly impressive collection of), but it’s the best Halloween ever.

He should have known the high wouldn’t have lasted. It’s been nearly two months of what Jared can only call fun, even when wandering around with a grumpy guy dressed head to toe in black and carrying a tall blade. He even had the chance not too long ago to use his own mini-scythe, when the business dude they reaped from an eighteen story balcony fall refused to accept he’d never finish the deal he was in the middle of when he fell. As the guy took off running, Jensen had just pointed and said, well, go get him and it took four blocks of Jared running before he remembered to swing his blade. The soul was yanked backwards into the air, limbs stretched out in front, and was zapped straight into the point of Jared’s scythe. Needless to say, it was about the coolest thing ever, and he’s been waiting for another runaway soul ever since.

Jared had started off this day by finally labeling his hook and cupboard, choosing Jare and hoping it would be enough to stop others scribbling on it. He had met up and chatted with Tom while he was at it, who had a bottle of something foul-smelling and a rag and was trying to remove his own superman graffiti, scribbled on last night by Chris. It’s apparently a bit of a running joke- Tom finds superman written on his nametag, he goes and scrubs it off, and by the end of the week, someone writes it on again. This has apparently being going on for the last hundred years or so.

The rest of the morning had gone well, too- guy in the park had a heart attack, little old man passed peacefully in his afternoon nap (Jared was jealous of that one), and a woman driving too fast ran a red light (Jensen had reaped her before she got into the car).

Jared had needed to remove the ice-cream pin in order to get them lunch from a hot dog stand by the park, and they studiously avoided the bench the heart attack had happened on and sat enjoying the sunshine. It’s when they finish that Jensen lets out a sigh.

‘Our next one’s on the other side of town,’ he says, his usually even tone more measured than normal. He’s playing with a necklace that he normally keeps in his pocket. Jared’s only seen it a couple of times, usually when Jensen thinks Jared isn’t watching. Jensen twists the cord round his fingers, watches the beads press into his skin.

‘Oh? Okay, soon? Should we get going?’

‘Yeah, probably,’ Jensen says, ‘but we can afford a few more minutes. You should enjoy the day while you can.’

Jared looks at Jensen, slumped on the bench and alternating between running his fingertips over the runes on his knuckles and the necklace. The scythe sits between them, glinting brightly, holding those three souls they’d already collected. Jared’s own mini-version lies across his lap.

‘You okay?’ Jared asks.

‘Yeah,’ Jensen coughs, ‘why wouldn’t I be?’

‘Because, dude, you actually told me to enjoy my day.’

That gets a smile from Jensen, even if it is weak. He looks up, meets Jared’s eyes.

‘I am a bit of a grump, aren’t I? You do this job long enough, and all you can see is how it absolutely sucks.’

He breathes in deep, lets it out slow. Jared fights the urge to reach over and hold Jensen’s hand.

‘Come on,’ Jensen says, standing and grabbing the scythe. He puts the necklace back into the pocket in his robe, ‘let’s go meet Clara.’

Clara turns out to be seven years old, with big blue eyes and long dark hair and a bruise lining her cheek. Jared’s stomach sinks when he sees her, walking down her street towards her house. She hesitates when she gets to the driveway, eyes going big and frightened at the sight of the truck sitting there.

‘Clara was off from school on a “sick day”.’ Jensen’s mouth twists. ‘But the only food in her house is moldy bread and her father’s whiskey, so she used her own savings to go down the street for a sandwich because her dad was supposed to be at work.’ He steps forward and brushes his fingers over the bruise. She shivers at that and Jared knows Jensen’s got the soul.

Whatever happens from here on out, it won’t hurt her.

Clara steels herself and goes inside. Jared’s not stupid enough to ask if they can’t just leave her, let her live, because he knows that Jensen would tell him that it’s her time, just like Jared’s time came in that alleyway outside his apartment.

Instead, he asks, ‘Can we be with her?’

Jensen looks at him. ‘Yeah, I reckon we can.’

The rest of the day is somber. Since Clara was the last soul for the day, they headed back to the ice-cream shop in silence. Katie handed them a scoop of chocolate each and smiled sadly at them as they went through the back door. After Jensen removes his robe he turns and leans the scythe into the opposite wall, just as he’s done every time before. There’s a crack there that the tip fits into, and small pulses of light burn bright in the J etched there, before they leach out of the blade and into the crack.

The last light is brighter than the others, and a pale blue color where the others are white.

Clara hadn’t cried, had held her ground and let it happen, and when she hit the wall too hard Jensen darted forward and took her hand, pulled her out and let her body fall to the floor. She had blinked up at them, said thank you, and they walked with her in the sun until she was tired and ready to go.

‘Don’t worry,’ Jensen says, placing his scythe back in his cupboard, ‘Katie already told me he doesn’t survive the week.’

Jared hoped they’d be the ones to reap him.

They weren’t, but it was Chad, whose napkin at the end of the day had ‘couldn’t get to him before the pain set in’ next to Clara’s father’s name, and he makes sure to show both Jared and Jensen before he hands it in to Jeff. Jensen reaches out and pats Chad on the shoulder a couple of times, and then heads towards the ice-cream hallway.

‘Dude,’ Chad says, ‘did he really just touch me?’

‘Uh, yeah,’ Jared says. ‘Clara really got to him, you know?’

‘Well yeah, they do that sometimes, and I know despite how much he acts like it that he’s not really a robot, but dude, he actually reached out and touched me.’

Jared laughs. Chad turns to him wide-eyed.

‘You’re made of magic.’

Jared just laughs even harder. When Jared gets to the robe hooks, still laughing, Jensen looks at him, confused, before shaking his head and smirking in amusement.

They’re on a night run, which they’ve only done a couple of times together, but it’s fast becoming Jared’s favorite shift time, because he mostly plays in the shadows and tries to make Jensen loosen up. Tonight, he’s humming the Pink Panther theme as he dashes between the light of the streetlamps. Every time he looks back at Jensen, sitting on a park bench outside their next soul’s home, he sings a little louder, because it’s making Jensen whip between scowling at him for being so unprofessional and laughing.

‘Duh dun de daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, deh dun duh da,’ Jared sings, coming up behind Jensen and flipping Jensen’s hood up over his head. Jensen huffs and leaves it. Jared has a moment where he thinks it’s abnormal for him to think that Jensen looks abnormally cute in the reaper gear, sitting leisurely on a park bench in the middle of the night and huffing.

‘You know,’ Jensen says, ‘we are on the job.’

‘Oh pish posh,’ Jared says, ‘we’re waiting for our job to come home, and it’s-’ he checks his watch- ‘one-seventeen in the morning, so I really don’t think there’s going to be much that would cause us to miss the job coming home, unless they had like, teleportation powers and just beamed straight into their living room. Man, that’d be cool, you’d never have to bother with stairs again. I’d never have had to bother with stairs, but then I never would have fell down the stairs, and I never would have met Sandy, or Danneel, Chad, Katie, Misha, you…’

‘I’m sure you would have done something else, probably stupid, like teleported yourself into a kiln instead. You’d have ended up with us regardless.’

‘You think so?’ Jared asks.

‘I know so,’ Jensen says, ‘you- sampled the french onion soup with the salmonella spoon- when you did because Fate said you would. How you came to us was completely spontaneous, but you were meant to be no more on that day, at that time. You were also meant to be a reaper.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Of course, otherwise,’ he pauses, ‘you never would have tripped on your shoelace.’

‘Huh,’ Jared says, ‘so, the reaper before me moving on, they-’

‘Adrianne was meant to be a reaper as well. And she moved on so you could take her place.’

‘That is… hard to get your head around. And kind of a bummer, you know, that like, when my time comes to move on, I have to move on.’

‘You don’t,’ Jensen says.

Jared blinks and looks at him. The hood’s still up and Jensen’s face is shrouded in shadow. ‘What? But you just said-’

‘I said the reaper before you, Adrianne, moved on so you could take her place. That doesn’t mean that she had to, nor does it mean that not doing so would have upset the cosmic balance of nature or anything. It simply meant that she was offered her eternal peace at the time when you were due to join us, and she chose to take it.

‘She could have said no, Jared, and all that would have needed to happen is that we find another room for you to stay in.’

‘I’ve never heard of anyone staying once their contract was up.’

‘Your contract can’t be up if it’s set for an indefinite amount of time,’ Jensen says, ‘and besides, moving on is just about balancing numbers in each unit. And there’s always a way to accommodate extra numbers. Your life is over, Jared, Fate doesn’t have a say anymore. You’ve reached your destiny.’

‘My destiny is in my afterlife?’

‘Why not? Life, after all, must eventually come to an end, and so Death himself exists, to take you, or make you, or send you on. Some people achieve great things in their life, like Mother Theresa, or Gandhi, or Martin Luther King. Others have a legacy after their life, like Van Gogh and Jesus Christ. You just get to stay around for your legacy.’

‘Is it a legacy if no one knows?’

‘We know. There needs to be an end to life in this world, Jared, and someone needs to be there to make sure it happens. We keep everything balanced and continuing on. We’re the biggest legacy that this world, and her people’s lives, will ever have.’

‘Okay,’ Jared says. ‘I can totally deal with that. But, if I was meant to be a reaper, what was with Jeff’s whole you can say no speech when I got here?’

‘Easy,’ Jensen says, shrugging, ‘you agreed, didn’t you? To stay? And you would have agreed, if you got the chance to choose again. The speech is just protocol, insurance even, to make you think it’s all your choice. Fact of the matter is, you never would have said no.’

Jared nods at that, because Jensen’s absolutely right. Maybe his life was meant to be that dull, because he’s meant to be this in his afterlife.

‘Still be cool if we had powers though.’

‘Who says we don’t?’ Jensen says, and the tone of his voice is wry. The hood tilts sideways, and Jared imagines Jensen smirking underneath it.

Jared gapes. ‘No way. I’ve never seen anyone- and I certainly can’t…’ He looks down at his hands, waves them around a bit. Jensen chuckles.

‘You’re two months into the job, of course you can’t do anything. It’s an experience thing. As for everyone else, with the exception of Jeff, they’re pretty young too, so even if they realized what they’re capable of, it’s unlikely they’ll have practiced or used it much.’

‘What are we capable of?’ Jared says.

‘Teleportation, for one. Much easier getting to jobs if you don’t have to wait for a bus, even if it is free, what with being invisible.’ Jared blinks and Jensen’s suddenly not there anymore, and he turns when he hears a cough behind him. Jensen’s across the street, standing in the doorway of the house belonging to the soul they’re waiting for.

‘There’s also super speed, for lack of a better term. Moving faster than the regular Joes helps in reaping.’ He steps out of the doorway and in less than a second, he’s back in front of Jared. It’s different from the teleportation because Jared can just see Jensen moving, like he’s not quite fast enough to be out of the range of the human eye, a blur of motion like something you’d catch in your peripheral vision. He looks frightening, the hood still over his head and scythe held upright, like the image personified, emerging swiftly and silently out of the shadows.

‘Can catch a soul easier if the body it’s in is in a rush. Most of us can do it almost immediately, including you, but you just haven’t realized because it’s so subtle. The older you are, the faster you become.’

Jared’s not stupid enough to ask how old Jensen is, even if he half means it as a joke. He remembers how Jensen reacted when Jared saw his knuckles for the first time, and he still sees how Jensen hides his hands when others go to look too closely.

‘There’s other, mostly useless, bits and pieces- like telepathy, messing with technology with your mind, very mild mind control… although, there’s this.’

He turns back to the house, his back to Jared. He transfers the scythe to his left hand so he can hold out his right, palm outward, toward the darkened doorway. The streetlamp behind throws eerie shadows in streaks along the house front, and Jared suddenly feels cold.

The temperature drops, Jared’s breath coming out in smoky puffs, and he shivers. He looks around when he realizes there are no more night sounds, no animals squeaking in the park behind them, no sounds of traffic along the freeway not too far away.

Everything’s gone quiet.

‘Watch,’ Jensen says, and twitches his fingers, curling and bending them. The shadows twist, streaks swirling and patterning, dancing on the brick. They melt into each other, break apart again, twist and turn and it’s almost like they’re breathing, heaving up and along and into themselves until it’s a seething mass of darkness.

The streetlight flickers, adding to the torment Jensen’s creating. When Jared looks down the street, none of the other lights are affected.

Jensen drops his hand and turns to Jared. The cold goes away, the light stops fluttering and the shadows settle.

‘Whoa,’ Jared breathes, then he throws his head back and cackles.

Under the hood, the yellow of the streetlight lights up Jensen’s grin.

All Jared can do is grin back.

They get back to what Jared affectionately calls The Hub, though Sandy insists it’s just HQ, in the early pre-dawn light. Jared stifles a yawn- officially as an immortal, he doesn’t need much sleep, but it’s been a few days and his night was long, and all he wants to do is fall asleep for a few hours, then wake up and slump on the couch with a bowl of sugared cereal and a B-grade movie.

If the way Jensen drags his palm over his face is any indication, he feels the same way.

No one else is around, save for Jeff, who’s just coming out of the elevator and making a beeline for the coffeepot, and Katie, emerging from Jeff’s office with a stack of papers as tall as her torso. She winks at Jared when he walks past, and he blows her a kiss.

Jensen fills a mug with coffee and heads toward the library, but waves Jared off when he goes to follow.

‘Don’t worry about a report, just go get some sleep. You can write it later, when you can keep your eyes open for more than ten seconds.’

Jared closes his eyes in a blink, and it takes longer than he expected for them to open again. ‘You may have a point,’ he says, though he thinks it’s a little slurred. Jensen points him in the direction of the elevator and gives him a push. ‘Thanks, man,’ Jared calls over his shoulder. ‘I’ll see you later, okay?’

‘Hey, Jared?’ Jensen calls, and Jared turns to face him. Jensen looks awkward. ‘I know I’m not the easiest person to be around,’ he says, and Jared wants to refute that. Jensen is a little prickly, but he’s very easy to be around, so long as he’s got coffee in his body. ‘And it’s been a while since I’ve trained anyone up, so I hope I’m doing an okay job of it, but you’re doing really well. Really,’ he adds, when Jared looks dubiously at him, ‘just, keep that bright, bubbly spark of yours going. This job… it takes its toll. All you see is life ending, and when it ends violently, it stays with you, changes you until you don’t remember who you are anymore.

‘I’m, well. I’m really glad you were assigned to me.’

Jared nods at him. ‘Me too, man, me too. Hey, you’re coming tomorrow night, right?’

‘Your first party as host? Because you somehow managed to swap out of your obligatory hosting in November and take December’s Christmas slot? That’s bound to have something go wrong with it- I wouldn’t dare miss it.’

So yeah, Jared managed to con Chad into taking November, which gave him more time to plan the party. Chad agreed, mainly because he was dreading having to do Christmas, but Jared’s plan was to basically hire the girls to do all the decorating. Between Sandy’s design eye, Katie’s ruthless efficiency and Danneel’s successful techniques (read: making him work downstairs in the ice-cream shop) in distracting Jared from involving himself and panicking, Jared’s apartment (after he successfully slept in and then slumped on the couch with sugared cereal and a B-grade movie) looks like the kind of Santa’s village you’d see in an IKEA magazine.

It looks, well, perfect- icicles and snowflakes hanging from furniture, mistletoe in nearly every doorway and fake snow (some kind of cotton wool) piled up in the corners and under the enormous tree which stretches to the ceiling, bedecked artfully in tinsel, baubles, and more fake snow (the canned kind this time). Jared has no idea how the girls managed to get it into his apartment since they’re probably smaller than it if they were standing on each other’s shoulders, not to mention a hundred times lighter than it, but here it is.

There’s also a bunch of food prepared, mostly courtesy of Sandy. In Jared’s defense, because as host he was supposed to supply food, he did go out and buy chips and a few dips and salsa, bags of candy and a stack of candy canes, but Sandy took one look at them and put them back in Jared’s pantry, said she’d get Chris to pick up better things. Jared hadn’t realized there was a frown on his face until she pulled the candy canes back out and told him to go spread them around the apartment.

From what he can tell, people are having fun, kicking back and relaxing and mingling… though Jared’s keeping an eye on Chad, making sure he doesn’t mingle too disastrously with the women. Danneel’s accosted Jeff over by Jared’s TV, where Jake and Misha are duelling it out in a Nintendo tournament of some kind.

Jared’s spent most of his evening dividing his time between chatting with people and keeping away from Genevieve whenever she’s near a doorway. He’s already kissed Katie (who kissed back rather enthusiastically), Vicki, Sandy and Misha (who also kissed back rather enthusiastically), and ended up with a shy peck on the cheek from Tom, while Mike leered at them. Jared had scrammed before Mike could step forward and show how it’s done.

His words, not Jared’s.

Anyway, while he’s okay with kissing Genevieve in the spirit of mistletoe and all that, he really doesn’t think she will be, and he doesn’t want to have to fight off rumors of their everlasting love, like a couple days ago, when Jake came up to him and congratulated him on proposing to Genevieve. Chris had burst out laughing at that, his hand slamming the table, while Chad had looked confused and Jensen flushed red.

It turned out to just be a mixed message, and Genevieve hadn’t mentioned proposing of any kind, but still, she seems to be under the illusion that she and Jared are having some kind of illicit affair. He really doesn’t know quite how she came to that conclusion.

All kisses aside, he deems his party a success. Everyone’s having fun, and he’s been congratulated on the fact that it’s his first- Jared found out last month at Chad’s that these parties can get a little wild, no matter how cultured they start out, and though he attributed last month more to Chad than anything else, apparently he skipped out way too early on Sandy’s Halloween party, where the stripping competition had to be cut short when a pumpkin was set alight.

The only thing that’d make Jared’s party the most amazing night to ever be had is the appearance of Jensen, but so far, it’s four hours in and Jensen is no-where to be seen. Jared tries hard to not let his heart sink, because Jensen said he’d be here, and he’s never gone back on his word in the two months Jared’s known him.

He’s in the kitchen grabbing another beer when Danneel sidles up next to him and takes a sip before he can.

‘And why do you look so glum?’ she says, and then adds, ‘No, wait, don’t tell me, I can guess it’s because the freckle-face hasn’t graced us with his presence.’ She’s grinning from behind the mouth of Jared’s beer bottle. ‘You know, I don’t know quite how you did it, but you really are good for him.’

‘Everybody’s been saying that.’

‘Everybody’s right. I mean, I’ve only known Jensen since 1912, but he’s always been sad. That’s where the grumpiness comes in, and the glaring and the intimidating silence. He’s been a reaper a long time, and he was sad.

‘But ever since you, he’s been different. I know, everybody’s said that too, and it’s because it’s true. Whether or not he’s talking more, and glaring less, the fact of the matter is-’ she shrugs her shoulders- ‘Jensen’s happy. For the first time in all the time I’ve known him, Jensen’s actually happy. And that? That’s all down to you.’

But then she raises an eyebrow. ‘And in any case you don’t got to be glum no more, boy, cause lookie who walked through your door,’ she drawls.

Jared turns so fast the room spins.

There, looking around the room, is Jensen, Chris right behind him, though it’s Chris who spots Jared first. He smirks, leans in to tell Jensen something that Jared can’t make out, and walks away and meets Sandy halfway across the room, where she flings herself into his arms. Chris dips her, kisses her, and Jared thinks he should starts paying a bit more attention to his friends’ lives if he hadn’t noticed that happening these past few weeks. Jensen shakes his head on a laugh and heads towards where Jared is.

He doesn’t look up until he’s halfway there, and smiles when he sees Jared. Jared makes a step toward him and they meet on the edge of the kitchen. Jensen shrugs.

‘Chris sent me to get us some beers,’ he says, ‘but hey, how are things going here?’

‘Good,’ Jared says, hoping it doesn’t come out too breathy, ‘yeah, no it’s good.’

‘No crashing and burning then. Shame, I was so looking forward to laughing at you.’ He’s grinning as he says it.

‘I’m too awesome to crash and burn.’ Jared laughs.

Jensen’s eyes widen suddenly and then he blushes.

‘What?’ Jared has to think back on why Jensen’s looking so- oh. Jensen points upward. Of course, they’re in a freaking doorway. Which means mistletoe, which means…

Jared’s heart starts trying to pound its way out of his chest.

‘Yeah,’ he says weakly, ‘Sandy’s idea. It’s, you know, it’s just tradition and- you don’t have to really-’

Jared’s cut off when Jensen surges up toward him and presses his mouth to Jared’s. His hands come up to rest tentatively on Jared’s biceps. It’s a blank sort of kiss- Jared hasn’t exactly frozen, and he’s returning the hesitant movements Jensen’s making, but really, they’re mostly just standing in a doorway with their mouths against each other, rather than, like, kissing. And oh boy, does Jared want to be kissing.

Jensen pulls back, and they stare at each other for a few moments.

‘So, I’m going to grab those beers now,’ Jensen says, and Jared nods, lets him walk past.

If you asked Jared what happened at the party that night, he wouldn’t be able to tell you, because he can’t remember anything else that happened.

next

[RPF]: Just Don't Mention the "D" Word. Part Three

2011-11-24T17:19:05Z

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For death begins with life's first breath. And life begins at touch of death.
~ John Oxenham

Three months.

To be accurate, three months, three weeks, two days and eighteen point four hours since Jensen kissed Jared under the mistletoe.

And he’s acting like it never happened.

Sure, they haven’t gone backwards in any way- if anything, they’ve progressed more and Jensen’s at the most relaxed that Jared (and everybody else) has ever seen him. But they never talk about Christmas. Jared’s not sure if that means anything or not.

On the one hand, it could be that the kiss was nothing, and like the kisses between Jared and everybody else at that party, it was just a fun Christmas thing between friends who’d had too much wine. On the other hand, Jensen hadn’t had any wine at that point, and the kiss felt different to everyone else (admittedly, that could be Jared’s imagination) and Jensen could be keeping silent because he liked that kiss too and the he thinks-

Well, he probably thinks that Jared doesn’t return that liking.

‘Jared?’ Jensen says. ‘You’re staring again.’

Oops. But Jensen’s right, he is staring. Luckily, though, they’re in the middle of the city, so Jensen’s the only one to catch him out on it because they’re on a run at the moment. It’s a special run, because they’re only after one soul today.

Another reaper.

This reaper is replacing a guy named Brock, from the seventh floor, who Jared’s only spoken to a couple of times, mostly at parties. Their schedules just never matched up enough to hang out, but Brock was a pretty cool guy who became dust in 1649, so Jared’s happy that he’s finally getting to move on, see his loved ones or whatever.

Jared feels honoured, to be getting the chance to greet a new reaper. He’s not qualified yet- he’s got a couple more weeks to go, according to Jensen, since it’s fairly standard to “graduate” at around the six month mark (with the exception of Chad, who had taken a full ten months before his reaper had deemed him ready).

Jared’s still not sure exactly how he’s supposed to be ready. He won’t become a reaper until he takes his first soul, so there’s no practical exam to pass or anything. He supposes that it’s a kind of maturity thing- he’s learnt a lot about life and even more about- demise, and he won’t be going into reaping with any illusions about either.

‘Jared!’ Jensen calls.

‘Yeah.’

‘Dude, where were you?’

‘Tired I guess, I just zoned out is all.’

‘Mhmm. Well, Sophia’s coming.’

Sophia is the soul they’re waiting on. Jared had read the information on her yesterday- she’s 29 years old, 5’4” in height and works as a legal assistant. Her life is going to expire today at 4:37 pm at 329 12^th Street. So that’s where they are, sitting on the edge of a fountain that sits in the centre of a huge courtyard outside a skyscraper that reads Macht & Adams. It’s now 4.36, and when a taxi pulls up to the curb, out of it steps a tiny brunette carrying a very large bag and a tray of coffee.

Jared knows immediately that this is Sophia. He’s seen her photo of course, it came with the file they got on her, but there’s also this tug in his gut, something that’s developed over the last couple of months when being near the soul they’re after. Jensen calls it a recognition system. It’s stronger with Sophia, probably because she’s a reaper too, or it could be that Jared’s just getting more in tune with the reaper part of him.

She staggers up the few stone stairs to the courtyard, and stops right next to them to put down her bag and rebalance the coffee tray. Jensen leans over and brushes his hand against the outside of her arm. She looks down at her arm for a moment, but picks up her bag and heads towards the doors of the building.

Some people are more sensitive to them, Jared’s found. Most people don’t bat an eye when Jensen touches them, but occasionally, like Clara and Sophia, they’ll react. Jared can vaguely remember feeling a light brush on his arm in the moment before he tripped, but it all happened so fast, he doesn’t recall it completely.

Even more rarely than a physical reaction, they’ll find themselves being stared at by a random person in a crowd. It had freaked Jared out the first few times until Jensen explained that these people were true psychics, and they couldn’t really see them, but were just able to pinpoint the source of the odd feeling they had in a reaper’s presence.

There’s a yelp from behind them, and Jared turns to see Sophia go over a ledge at the edge of the courtyard in a flurry of brown liquid. Judging by the look on guy-in-a-pressed-suit’s face, he accidentally knocked into her. Jared looks at the clock across the square- 4.37- and Jensen stands, thumps Jared on the arm and walks over, using his scythe like a walking stick.

‘Why did you bring that thing anyway, it’s not like it’s gonna be carrying anything in it.’

Jensen smirks at him. ‘What was your reaction when you first saw it on Sandy?’

Jared concedes to the point.

When they get to where Sophia disappeared, they have to press their way through a group of bystanders who are all on their phones and giving shocked gasps to each other. Jared gives a conciliatory pat on the shoulder to the pressed suit guy, who’s turned white and seems to be holding back his stomach. Jared leans over the short wall to see Sophia lying on the dirt a good fifteen feet down, neck bent at an odd angle.

‘Do you want to go get her, or shall I?’ Jensen asks him.

‘I will,’ Jared says, ‘You just stand there, look pretty and hold your scythe menacingly. Be creepy when she looks at you.’

Jensen laughs.

Jared jumps down and puts his hand on the back of Sophia’s neck, feels her soul shift under her skin. Her arms come up, transparent in the light filtering between the leaves shadowing them, to push her up. She pulls herself out of her body and Jared helps her to sit up properly, facing away from where her body is lying.

‘Hey,’ he says, ‘how you feeling?’

‘Ugh, like a bad hangover.’

Jared laughs at that. ‘It’ll clear up.’

‘What the fuck happened?’ she asks, in a raspy voice.

‘You uh, fell.’

‘Fell?’

‘To be accurate you were pushed. Accidentally,’ he hastens to add, ‘the guy who knocked you over is really sorry, trust me.’

‘Uh huh, was that guy you?’ She tries to glare at him, but it comes across as more of a squint. Jared remembers that feeling all too well.

Jared just laughs. The sound of sirens gets louder and Jared pulls her up.

They go through the motions with her- yes, you’ve expired, sorry about that, holy shit there’s the grim reaper (her face is priceless, and when she finds out its just some guy in what’s essentially a costume, she punches them both and curses them out. Girl’s got a mouth like a drunken sailor) and overall she takes it well.

‘At least the upside to this is I don’t have to work for that stupid son of a bitch anymore.’

She agrees pretty readily to Jeff’s offer- she’s in his office all of five minutes before she’s back out in a solid body, staring down at the coffee stains on her blouse and sighing.

And that’s when Chad walks in. He’s still dressed in his robe, like he was the day Jared met him, because he stores it in his room rather than on its hook- because people like to mess with it, like sewing on pink sparkly fucking lace, McCoy, real clever, oh yeah, laugh it up, just you wait till I get you back.

Anyway, Chad goes to give his usual crass greeting, but takes one look at Sophia and goes silent, Sophia takes one look at Chad and raises an eyebrow as she looks him up and down.

‘Hello,’ Chad says, and takes Sophia’s hand, kissing the back of it. Jared has to remind himself that Chad bit the bullet in the 1860’s in order not to find it hilarious. Jensen’s head turns slowly to look at Jared with a bemused expression. Jared shrugs back at him.

When Jeff tells them that Sophia’s been assigned to Chad, they both turn pink and quiet, and Jared thinks that Death is a sneaky sneaky bastard.

‘So, do all reapers end up hooking up with their assigned?’ Jared asks, and Jensen freezes from where he’s writing, because Jensen’s been avoiding that kiss completely.

‘No,’ he says shortly, then sighs. ‘No, they don’t. It’s- not unusual, but not common either.’

‘Have you ever-’

‘No,’ Jensen cuts in and he’s still not looking at Jared, ‘just- Christmas.’

It’s clear that Jensen’s uncomfortable, but Jared doesn’t want to avoid this anymore. Perhaps he shouldn’t have chosen the library to have this conversation, but he doesn’t care. His six month mark is coming up, and he won’t be around Jensen as much after he does his first reap, and he doesn’t want this swept under the rug and passed off as something it wasn’t.

And he knows it wasn’t. He’s seen the way Jensen looks at him sometimes, caught the end of glances and Jensen’s eyes raking over his body. Seen the way Jensen relaxes around Jared, felt the way he leans into Jared when they’re close, doesn’t shrug off Jared’s hand when it touches him.

It’s more than even Chris gets, at least in terms of the physical. And it makes Chris stare, though not unkindly, at Jared even when Jensen isn’t around. Like Jared’s some kind of puzzle that he can’t figure out. When Jared catches Chris watching however, Chris tends to smile at him. So, he’s pretty sure that he won’t be dodging Chris’ fists any time soon.

Although, it depends wholly on what Jensen tells Chris about Jared.

Which is why he has to tread carefully here. Because if he pisses Jensen off, he will have to deal with an irate best friend.

‘Why did you kiss me at Christmas?’

Jensen shrugs. ‘You were standing under mistletoe.’ His tone is strained and he bends further over his report.

‘And that was it, there was- nothing else. Just mistletoe?’

‘Why are you asking Jared? What does it matter?’ Jensen’s looking at him now, and for all his tone says anger, his eyes are pleading with Jared to let it go, not ask.

He doesn’t. ‘It matters because maybe I was hoping that it might be more, you know?’

He turns away from Jensen, who’s swiveled around in his seat now, eyes widening. Now that Jared’s started though, he decides to just keep going.

‘Because Jen, I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a really long time now, and you’re a pretty fucking spectacular being, and I really like you, a lot. But I don’t know anything about you. I don’t know what your last name was, when and how you answered the final summons- hell, I don’t even know what happened to you to make you so god damn reclusive, but I like you anyway. And I want something with you, and the vibes I’m getting say you want something with me. But all you keep doing is blaming the mistletoe, and I just want to know if I’m reading the signs completely wrong or not, but you’re too damn ridiculous to give me a straight answer.

‘You know what, I’m going to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.’

He wants to stalk away, but the sadness in Jensen’s eyes makes his shoulders hunch. He throws a glare toward a group just round the corner, who are half out of their seats listening in.

Jeff catches him at the library exit, leading him to his office. He shuts the door.

‘So first things first, is that you’ve been approved to reap. Boss man is just sorting out the soul you’ll get, but by the end of the week you’ll officially get your Knuckles.’

It’s good news, but Jared has trouble mustering up the enthusiasm he wants to feel.

‘In the mean time,’ Jeff continues, ‘you’ll have to do a short test. Nothing major, just making sure all the rules are covered and understood. Plenty of time though, we won’t get to that today. Now, you wanna tell me what’s up?’

‘Sorry?’ Jared asks.

‘You’ve got a frown on, kiddo. It’s unusual, and frankly a little disconcerting. You and Jensen fight about something?’

‘No. well, sort of. It doesn’t matter.’

‘You sure? Cause it seems to me that it matters a lot to you.’

Jared looks up at Jeff. ‘That also doesn’t matter.’

‘You know,’ Jeff says, ‘I’ve known Jensen a long time. He’s always been- haunted I suppose, by his life. From what I could gather, the chance to reap was the best thing that ever happened to him. Still, I’ve seen him get steadily more bitter over the years, only finally loosen up when Chris came along. I thought it might do him good, and it has, but nothing like what you’ve done for him.

‘The big man is clever Jared, he’s everything the rumours make him out to be. He knows everything about you before you’re even born, can take one look at your soul and know what you deserve. And he organises who gets paired up with who and he chooses those pairings for a reason.’

‘Like Sophia- who’s smart enough, pretty enough and professional enough to straighten Chad out.’

‘Exactly. And like you- who did something that no one else has done since I met Jensen- and that’s make him smile.’

‘Chris makes him smile.’

‘Not by simply walking in the room. Hell, Jensen’s even cut down on his coffee consumption. That’s impressive, Jared.’

‘Not even other reapers he’s trained?’

‘From what I know, there’s only ever been one other he’s trained. Jensen, even with as well as he’s been doing these past six months, is still difficult to get to know, and even more difficult to get along with, and management hasn’t assigned him anyone.’

‘Who was the other?’

‘Pardon?’

‘The other reaper Jensen trained. Have they moved on?’

Jeff laughs. ‘No, he hasn’t. He got promoted instead, to deal with the shit and the stupid amount of paperwork that goes on.’

Jared’s mouth drops. ‘You? Jensen trained you?’

‘Even back then, he was the best.’

‘How long ago? I mean, when did you- if you don’t mind me asking...’

Jeff smiles. ‘More than six hundred years now. Black Plague was very lucrative for the reaper business.’

‘Six hundred? How long has Jensen-’

‘Wouldn’t know for sure,’ Jeff cuts in. ‘All I do know is his knuckles were dark long before I came to him.’

‘What did you do for him? You said we’re assigned because we’re good for the reapers we’re assigned to. Why were you put with Jensen?’

Jeff pauses. ‘I like to think it’s because Jensen needed someone to teach. We’ve never had the kind of friendship he has with Chris, or you, but Jensen was completely alone before me, and afterwards, he wasn’t.’

A knock sounds on the door. ‘Jeff?’ It’s Jensen’s voice.

‘Come on in,’ Jeff calls back.

Jensen’s eyes widen when he spots Jared. ‘Sorry, I didn’t realise… I was actually looking for you, Jared. You weren’t in your room.’

‘Oh!’ Jared says. ‘We were, um…’

‘We were discussing Jared’s upcoming first reap,’ Jeff says. ‘But we’re done, Jared, so you can go now.’ He raises his eyebrows at Jared meaningfully. Don’t tell him I told you, Jared imagines it says, and possibly even, He’ll rip my balls off and feed them to a Hellhound.

Jensen moves aside to let Jared go past, staring at Jeff with a neutral expression a moment longer before closing the door.

‘So, what did Jeff tell you about us?’ Jensen asks, and Jared chokes on his beer. They’re in Jensen’s kitchen, a twilight zone marathon running on the TV across the room.

‘He didn’t. He, uh- we just talked about reaping.’

Jensen blinks at him. ‘Uh huh. Don’t shit me Jared.’

Jared lowers his eyes. ‘I didn’t ask him to, you know. He just offered it all up.’

Jensen sighs. ‘It was why I was looking for you, because you’re right- you don’t know anything about my life, or how I di- passed away, and you deserve to know.’

‘Why do you do that?’ Jared asks.

‘Do what?’

‘Nearly say… that word. Nobody else does. We all don’t slip up, but you do.’

Jensen puts his beer on the counter and crosses his arms over his chest. His legs are crossed too, one long line of his body that ends in bare feet under jeans and Jared tries not to let it turn him on.

‘Because it’s just a word,’ Jensen says. ‘Besides, it’s what we are. I never understood why everyone was so afraid to say it. All it does is make things worse by avoiding it. They’re clinging to this false sense of life and pretending they’re something that they’re not.’

Jared goes to respond (with what he’s not sure of yet, because he doesn’t really have a logical response to that) but Jensen keeps talking over him.

‘Dead, Jared. That’s what we are. Dead.’

Jared surprises himself with how he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t feel much more than agreement.

‘We died, and our lives are over. All we are now are these things, things that deal with death every single day, but they all won’t accept that. They sleep when they don’t need to, and eat when they don’t have to, and they think that just because they still feel and can touch things, that they’re some sort of alive. And they’re not. You’re not, Jared. No more than a vampire, and they eat and sleep too.’

Jared fishes for something to say. ‘Vampires aren’t real,’ he eventually manages.

Jensen just looks at him.

‘That’s real cute that you believe that.’ He waves a hand. ‘It doesn’t matter anyhow. Point is, you guys are all ridiculous about it. Death isn’t all that bad. Sure, you don’t really want to hang and have a beer with the guy, but that’s more because he tells really bad jokes and gets weepy when he’s drunk.’

‘He- what?’ Jared’s a little lost. Did Jensen just say that the Death is an emotional drunk? ‘You’ve met…’

‘I’ve been dead for over a thousand years, Jared. Of course I’ve met Death. And believe me, he’s nothing like the legends say.’

‘A thousand years? Why the hell haven’t you moved on?’

Jensen shrugs. ‘It’s been offered, I’ve just never wanted to take it.’

‘Why the hell not?’

‘I like this job,’ he says. ‘It’s much more meaningful than my life ever was. There’s nothing, and no one, waiting for me beyond this. There’s no point, so I never took it, and Death stopped offering.’

Silence for a moment, then Jensen says, ‘Go on, I know you want to ask it.’

‘What was your life like?’ It’s said too quickly, but Jared can’t help it. A thousand years…

‘Bloody,’ Jensen says. ‘I was part of the Picts from what is now Scotland. They were generally farming communities so it was supposed to be simple, but I was born into a time when we were steadily merging into Scots, through either marriage or battle, all the while trying to fight off the Vikings, so life wasn’t exactly easy. Less so for nobility, like I was.’

‘How so?’

‘Everybody wanted to be king. King of the Scots, King of the Picts, King of both…’ He shakes his head. ‘Men would be murdered over dinner because they were good leaders who would have made great kings.’

‘Is that what happened to you?’ Jared asks.

‘No, though I suppose I might have been luckier if it had. No, I got sick, of all things. A fever. There was a raid in my community, Vikings coming in from the east. I was wounded and it became infected. Most blade wounds did back then. It was long and painful, and I finally died after two weeks of it.’

‘The reaper-’

‘Couldn’t be bothered to help, I found out later. I mean, I was supposed to have battled through it like I did, for those two weeks, but the reaper had been told that it was going to take that long, and was asked to collect my soul the day I was hurt. He chose not to come for me until I was done for. I spent two weeks in agony, because that fucking dick decided to take a detour to Europe to watch some Pope die.’

‘What happened to him?’

‘The reaper? Got a sound kicking and his offer of rest rescinded. Sometimes, Death lets you get away with not showing up in time, but not always. I didn’t deserve it, no matter what I thought at the time. I know that now.’

‘How could you have thought you deserved that?’ Jared asks. Haunted by his life, Jeff had said.

‘I was trained to fight in the armies so I could defend my people, and I was good at it. One of the best they’d ever seen. The first battle I went to changed everything. I couldn’t do it anymore. There was too much death, and it reeked of years of pain and suffering. It seemed endless. The Viking invasion was never ending, and they were good warriors, practically undefeatable.

‘I went home, thought I’d be safe, and that with me around, my family, my friends, would be safe. It was stupid thinking, and when the Vikings showed up, I couldn’t stop them.’ He pulls open a drawer, lifts up the necklace he carries around with him. ‘This was my sister’s. Our mother made it for her, to celebrate her upcoming marriage. Once I became a reaper, I went back, to see what I could keep. There was nothing except this half buried in the ground. This necklace is all I have left of them.

‘I thought at the time that the pain of dying was my punishment for failing to save the people I loved.’

‘And you don’t anymore.’

‘I still think that maybe I could have done something to save them, but I know that it wasn’t my fault in the end. Death was persistent that I figure that out.’

‘Death got you to come to terms with dying?’ Jared asks with a smile.

Jensen smiles back. ‘Yeah, I know.’

Jared straightens then, walking over to where Jensen’s leaning against the counter.

‘Thank you,’ he says, ‘for telling me.’

Jensen shrugs. ‘No biggie.’

‘Yes,’ Jared says. ‘Yes it was. Have you spoken about it to anyone else, besides Death? I get the feeling you haven’t. Over a thousand years, Jen, and you haven’t ever told another soul your story. It’s a very big deal.’

‘You deserved to know,’ Jensen whispers. They’re so close now, just a sliver of air between them and Jared can smell Jensen, that clean smell of earth after a rainstorm and summer.

‘Hey, Jen, you kissed me at Christmas.’

‘Yes.’

‘And you told me about your… death.’

‘Yes.’ Jensen’s voice is almost not there, too quiet so that the television fills in the silence.

‘I think you like me,’ Jared says. ‘I think you like me a lot, and that’s why you kissed me, and that’s why you told me.’

‘You said you wanted more,’ Jensen says, and he closes his eyes, ducks his head away from Jared. ‘In the library, you said-’

‘I did,’ Jared agrees, ‘and I meant it.’ He leans in, tilts Jensen’s head up and back toward him, presses his lips to Jensen’s and it’s so much better than Christmas ever was. He feels the dry softness of Jensen’s lips and the warm puff of air when Jensen’s mouth opens, the dart of wet of his tongue, brief and intimate.

Jared shifts, lines them up better and responds, catching Jensen’s mouth and sinking in deeper, harder into the kiss and into Jensen’s body.

Jensen’s arms come up, one hand catching Jared’s elbow and the other slipping around his hip, fingers folding in the material of Jared’s shirt. Jared’s hand, still resting on Jensen’s jaw, moves to cup the back of his head, tangling in Jensen’s hair and pulling him closer. Jensen moans into Jared’s mouth, and then they’re moving, stumbling backwards. Jared’s not sure if he’s pulling or Jensen’s pushing- could be both- but it doesn’t matter because their mouths are locked together, teeth crashing and tongues dancing. Jared’s losing his breath, feeling lightheaded but he’s already dead so he doesn’t dare let go, pull away, make any other kind of move that would separate him from Jensen.

He pulls him closer instead.

They bounce off a wall and Jensen laughs into the kiss, tugging Jared further down the hallway. Jared notes the flash of blue from Jensen’s bedspread before he’s pushed backwards onto it, Jensen climbing up on top of him to straddle Jared’s thigh, pushing Jared down into the bed as he runs both his hands through Jared’s hair.

The kisses get messier the more they move together, slow grinds that rub the both of them into each other in all the right ways. Jared’s got his hands melded to Jensen’s waist, fingertips splaying just slightly over the swell of Jensen’s ass, pulling him into Jared’s body.

Jensen pulls back slightly, but it’s to slip a hand in between them, molding his palm to the shape of Jared’s cock and squeezing rhythmically. It’s not long after that Jared gasps and shakes, his dick jerking and spilling against the inside of his boxers, Jensen falling against him seconds later when his arms give out and they lie there, breathing hard against each other in the dark of the bedroom.

A couple of days (glorious days) later, Jared’s finishing up a shift at the ice-cream shop. He drops a kiss to Katie’s head and scoops two chocolate balls into a cup to go. He’s meeting Sandy, Chad and Sophia at the circus, which moved in yesterday for a week long duration. They decided to go today because today was Sophia’s first run out and they’re celebrating that, but also because Misha’s going tomorrow, to collect a trapeze artist who’ll end his earthly career that afternoon.

Jensen and Chris are supposed to be joining them later, after they see a guy who’s claiming to be selling a real scythe on the black market, and Jared gets the distinct impression that Sandy may have set them all up for a triple date. Granted, Chad and Sophia aren’t actually dating, but Sandy gets this coy smile whenever they’re together, and it really is hilariously cute that Chad and Sophia keep sneaking glances when they think the other’s not looking.

He passes the two of them on the street as he’s leaving and they’re arriving, and they smile at him. Jared wants to ask Sophia how it was, but they’re invisible to the alive people, and he’s not, so he keeps quiet, smiles back and resolves to ask her later.

He walks to the bus stop and finishes his ice-cream while he waits. The bus is almost empty when it comes, so Jared chooses a seat halfway down, across from a guy in ripped jeans and a Metallica t-shirt. The guy smiles at him.

‘Where are you off to?’ he says. Jared weighs up the pros and cons of talking to strangers on the bus (doesn’t matter how old you are, your mama’s lessons always stick) and decides to answer.

‘Circus, over by the north park, it’s opening day.’

‘Cool, man,’ the guy says, ‘going with friends?’

‘Yeah, meeting them there.’ The guy grins wider at that. Jared thinks he should probably find it creepy, or at the very least odd that this dude is so interested, and happy, in how Jared’s day is going to go, but he doesn’t find it strange at all. It’s more like catching up with an old friend, albeit a friend that he doesn’t know the name of, and that in itself is more worrying.

‘I’m Eric,’ the guy says.

‘Jared,’ Jared replies.

The guy nods like he was expecting that answer. The bus pulls to a stop, and Eric stands.

‘Tell you what, Jared, tell Jensen I said hi.’

And with that, he gets off the bus, leaving Jared to stare at the empty space where Eric was. When he turns, only seconds later, Eric is nowhere to be seen, like he disappeared into the air.

The encounter haunts him until he catches up with Sandy, who’s tucked under Chris’ arm and chattering away to Jensen. Chris smiles at her indulgently and Jensen nods at whatever Sandy’s saying, before catching sight of Jared and smiling big and wide and beautiful at him.

Jared grins back. Jensen bites his lip when Jared reaches them, but Jared tugs it out with a finger before leaning in and chastely kissing him, light and fleeting. Jensen blushes, making Sandy squeak and Chris tip his head back laughing, and so Jensen excuses himself to go get cotton candy and popcorn. Jared goes with him, ignoring Chris’ eyebrows wiggling as they walk away toward the food.

‘How was the errand?’ Jared asks.

‘Fine,’ Jensen says. ‘Nothing to worry about at all. I don’t know where he got it from, but the scythe isn’t real, at least, not our kind of real. It’s a pretty thing, but useless in terms of soul collecting. We didn’t need to scare him at all, much to Chris’ disappointment.’

Jared laughs, looping and arm around Jensen’s shoulders and tugging him in closer.

‘Hey, uh, do you know a guy named Eric?’

Jensen stops walking and looks at him.

‘Why?’

‘I- well I ran into this guy on the bus, and he told me to say “hi” to you for him.’

‘Was he in ripped jeans and a band t-shirt?’

‘Metallica, yeah.’

Jensen laughs. ‘Congratulations Jared, you came face to face with Death himself and survived- well, you know what I mean.’

Jared can feel his eyes widen. ‘That was- you know- management?’ The last part is said in a rushed breath. Jensen laughs again.

‘Yeah. Told you the rumors had nothing to them.’

Jesus.

‘Did he, I mean.’ Jensen pauses. ‘Was he pleasant?’

‘Uh yeah, really friendly, smiled a lot.’

‘Good,’ Jensen says. ‘He liked you then. I don’t see a reason why he wouldn’t have though.’ He tugs Jared forward again. ‘Stop fretting. He does this all the time, meets his reapers right before their graduation. Never gave away who he was before now though…’

He looks at Jared. ‘Death can take one look at you and know everything, about your past, present, future, your feelings, fears and dreams. I think he likes what he saw about your feelings for me.’ He blushes again, looking like a teenager being given permission by a parent to date. ‘Let’s go get sugar, lots of it. I want caramel corn and soda.’

He takes Jared’s hand and doesn’t let go of it until they’re taking their seats and watching the ringmaster stroll out into the spotlight.

Jared’s nervous. Unbelievably nervous. Amazingly, terrifyingly, heart-stoppingly nervous. He shouldn’t be- he’s more than prepared for this. He’s read the information more than enough times, committed it to his memory and Jensen’s memory with how much he’s repeated it. He’s seen his robe, had to since it needed to be tailored to fit him, and felt the thrum of energy in the wool when it settled completely on his shoulders. Three minutes left, and then he’ll leave with Jensen to go and reap his very first soul ever.

If all goes well, and it will, Jensen keeps telling him, then they’ll get back and in front of everyone (who’s not currently out), Jensen will present Jared with the robe and scythe for the very first time, and he’ll be a reaper for real.

‘You okay?’ Jensen asks, and Jared nods because he’s afraid his voice will wobble. He doesn’t want to screw this up. What if he misses? Reaps the wrong soul? What if the information is wrong and they don’t get there in time and the soul is in pain? Thankfully, he knows it’s not a child. He doesn’t think he’d be able to collect a child on his very first go, regardless of how it would demonstrate his understanding of life and death. The person he’s collecting is male, 49, a cab driver, and he’s going to die two miles away from where Jared’s been asked to collect the soul from.

‘You’ll be fine, Jare. Just remember, when you feel the soul, pull the energy toward you. You’ll know when it’s happened, just relax.’

Jared nods again, and Jensen fastens the ice-cream pin to Jared’s tie, pats his chest twice.

‘Okay,’ he says, ‘you’re all set. Let’s go.’

Outside, Jensen takes his hand again. ‘Think you can blink there?’

Jared closes his eyes and concentrates. They don’t have far to go, and Jared’s been able to will himself to pop around like Jensen can over short distances. When he opens his eyes, they’re only a few blocks away from the soul, so they walk the rest of the way.

The soul comes stumbling out of a bar when they arrive, pulling keys out of his pocket as he heads towards the taxi. He sways on his feet, peering intently at the key ring for the right key, and he can’t get it into the lock on the first go.

‘Deep breath, Jared, when you’re ready.’

Only, he can’t wait too long or the guy will be getting in his car and driving away. Jared steps forward and touches the back of the driver’s hand, feels the shift beneath it and concentrates, twists his fingers toward him and pulls. The energy splits, a tingle left behind on Jared’s fingertips. That’s it, he’s got it.

He did it.

Jensen’s got a matching grin on when Jared turns around, but it’s short lived because you can’t easily smile when you’re kissing. Which is exactly what they’re doing, Jensen’s arms around Jared’s shoulders and Jared’s around Jensen’s waist, keeping his blade turned away from where it might cause damage.

‘One more thing to do,’ Jensen says pulling away, and dragging Jared into the cab, before it pulls away from the curb.

Jensen pulls Jared in for another kiss while they’re waiting, the cab weaving down the road, picking up speed when it hits the suburbs.

‘Gotta make sure that soul comes home with us,’ Jensen says, and Jared loves the way the word home sounds on Jensen’s tongue. He licks it away with his own.

Two minutes later, they’re crawling out of the cab from where it’s wrapped around a tree, and the soul is still a little woozy when Jared ushers him into his mini scythe. Another tingle flashes across his fingers, settling into his skin, and when he looks down there are runes, grey in color, splashing across his knuckles.

He’s trying to quell the urge to kiss Jensen, because it would be inappropriate to do so with everyone gathered in the library for Jared’s graduation. Katie even stuck a sign on the shop door to keep away customers, so the least Jared can do is not get sidetracked.

Jared’s already dressed in the robe, watching Jensen approach down the aisle made by his friends and the other reapers in the building. Jeff’s to his right, and it almost feels like a wedding, except everyone’s in black and Jensen’s carrying a deadly weapon. Still, Sandy and Danneel have tears in their eyes and Misha looks proud, but nowhere near as proud as Jensen does, which Jared can see clearly when Jensen reaches him.

Eric clears his throat. He’s here under the pretence of being a spokesperson, someone official working for Death to oversee Jared’s presentation. Jared would almost believe it, because Eric is so unlike what you’d imagine Death to be that it seems impossible to conceive, but Eric winks at Jared when he says, ‘On behalf of upper management,’ and both Jensen and Jeff are concealing laughter.

Jared takes the scythe from Jensen when he’s told to, takes it with his right hand and feels a rush of warmth spread from deep inside, all the way out, up his arm and into the wood. The metal of the blade burns briefly, and when Jared looks, a J is engraved into the blade, still glowing red from the rush of heat that put it there.

‘Thank you,’ Jared says, first looking at Jeff, then Eric, and finally Jensen, who looks happy to be the focus of Jared’s attention.

‘No no,’ Eric says. ‘Thank you.’ And with another wink, and a pat to Jensen’s shoulder, announces that the party can begin.

Jared kisses his way down Jensen’s stomach, pressing his fingers into Jensen’s skin and holding him still and he sucks bruises into Jensen’s hips. Jensen’s panting, rhythmically moving in little thrusts into Jared’s chest where it lies over Jensen’s groin. Jared licks a stripe down, into the crease of Jensen’s thigh where it meets his torso, and Jensen moans, threading his fingers into Jared’s hair and tugging him to where his dick lies heavy and thick on his belly.

Jared sucks a kiss to the base of it, using a hand to trail fingertips along Jensen’s balls and down behind. Jensen’s legs spread further, one ankle hooking into the small of Jared’s back when he pulls a leg up, and Jared’s fingers brush over puckered skin.

He can’t get enough of Jensen. Loves the feel of him, the taste of him, driving him insane with how much he wants. His heart soars when he sees Jensen, trips over itself in happy bursts. He feels home when Jensen’s with him, feels like the sun gets brighter when Jensen smiles. He still thinks it too early for the word love, but that’s what it is. Love, forever, because both he and Jensen don’t have to go anywhere, can stay here for the rest of eternity.

He sucks the head of Jensen’s cock into his mouth, letting his other hand trail upwards, pinching a nipple before tracing Jensen’s lips. Jensen sucks them into his mouth, gets them wet and messy and gets Jared moaning around Jensen, getting harder against the bed. It’s only been half an hour since he last came (into Jensen’s mouth, down his throat, green eyes looking up at him the entire time) but reaper biology means he’s been ready to go again for the last twenty-five minutes.

His fingers, wet now and no longer blocking the sounds Jensen’s making, slip down to where his other hand is rubbing circles around Jensen’s hole, and his finger slides in with little resistance. It’s tight, and hot, and nowhere near enough.

There’s a thunk against his head, the lube, Jensen tapping it against his temple again and saying, ‘hurry,’ and, ‘yes,’ and, ‘please Jare.’ Jared flicks the lid, gets it all over them in his haste and tries to detach himself. He could come from this, the feel of Jensen and the memory of what Jensen felt like sliding into Jared just last night, and it’s almost too much.

One finger, two, three, Jensen pulling at him and warmth gripping tight around his dick and they rock together, words spilling from their mouths as they spiral higher and higher.

Jared’s breath hitches when he comes, wrapped up in the feel of Jensen rippling around him in his own orgasm. He grips Jensen’s hands in his, kisses him long and hard until they both calm down and fall asleep, Jensen warm against him and oh so right.

[RPF]: Just Don't Mention the "D" Word. Part Four

2011-11-24T17:07:03Z

home || one || two || three || art

After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.
~ J.K. Rowling

It’s a little lonely, being by himself. He doesn’t have Jensen anymore to talk to- alright, annoy- but his shifts aren’t exactly long. They are fuller than before though, and Jared still can only teleport short distances, much like the other reapers who aren’t Jensen, so his days are spent rushing from one location to another and hoping he doesn’t miss the bus.

Which has happened, is insanely annoying and requires Jared to blink-hop his way across the city, hoping he doesn’t get a headache in the process.

Today, he’s out in the park, sitting on a bench, lightly running his hand up and down the wood of his scythe and watching the runners go by. He knows what Jensen means about feeling which scythe is yours- every time he touches his own it sends a happy thrum through him, like the scythe is pleased to see him.

Once, he picked up Jensen’s, just to see what it felt like. Wrong, like a piece of a puzzle not fitting properly, even though the shape matches the space you have. Wrong, and a little bit dark, not at all like the light he feels with his own.

‘Penny for your thoughts,’ Genevieve says, and sits down next to him.

‘What are you doing here?’ Jared asks, a little warily. Genevieve hasn’t exactly made any advances towards him recently, but then, he has been avoiding her.

‘Picking up a soul at 3,’ she says. ‘Well, 3.06, but it’s close enough.’

‘I’m 3.07,’ Jared says.

‘Get out, gotta be a joint thing, right? I mean, could be a coincidence, but they’re rather close together to be purely accidental. What do you reckon it is?’

‘I did think it was gonna be one of the runners, but now I’m not so sure.’

‘Well, it’s 3.03 now, I guess we’ll find out soon enough.’

It’s odd. He’s never seen Genevieve so laid back, so… unlike Genevieve. It’s a little disconcerting, but he has the feeling that this is what she’s like beneath that sex obsessed personality she portrays.

‘So, I’m not going to apologize,’ she says into the silence, ‘because you can’t fault me for trying. But I see how you look at Jensen, and I see how Jensen looks back, and I want you to know that you can stop running away from me. I’m not going to try anything. At least, not unless it ends between you and Jensen, but I’ll totally wait an appropriate time before hitting on you again.’

Jared laughs. Genevieve smirks at him.

‘Hi, I’m Genevieve,’ she says.

‘Hey, I’m Jared.’

Their re-introductions are cut short by a scream across the park. The guy who runs the hot dog stand has his arms up, but the guy holding the gun has it trained on a woman, a runner who must have stopped for food.

Jared and Genevieve take off across the park, and when they get there, Jared reaps the woman while Genevieve takes the hot dog guy. He keeps refusing to hand over money to the guy wielding the gun, claiming all he’s got is twenty in change. Gun-wielder aims the gun at hot-dog, and there’s more shouting.

The gun goes off and hot-dog drops. The runner screams again, and gun-wielder’s eyes go wide and he looks disbelieving at the gun, like he didn’t expect it to fire. He turns to the woman, tells her to shut up, waves the gun around a little more and it goes off again. The woman’s screams cut off.

Clearly, Jared thinks, someone doesn’t learn from past mistakes.

The gun-wielder stands just a moment, sirens filtering in, getting closer. Like a signal to run, the guy does just that, taking off across the park. Jared doesn’t spare him another thought, just leans down to collect the soul properly.

‘You got anymore to do?’ Genevieve asks, when both souls are safely tucked away in the scythes.

‘No, that’s me done for the day. You?’

‘Done also. Walk with me back to HQ? We can resume getting to know one another again.’

‘Sure,’ Jared says, setting off across the grass. Genevieve falls into step next to him.

‘I gotta ask, is there any kind of chance, if you weren’t with Jensen of course, that you would go for me? Or are you a man-only kind of guy?’

Jared smiles. ‘There just might be. To be honest, you came on too strong, and it threw me off wanting you.’

They pass the would-be-robber-but-instead-turned-killer at the edge of the park, getting bent over the hood of a police car and cuffed. Another officer stands to the side, reading out the guy’s rights.

‘But the female thing-’

‘Doesn’t bother me,’ Jared says with a laugh.

‘I knew it. And I guess I can be a little sorry for how I went about things, but mostly sorry that it didn’t work. You can never tell, you know? When I was alive it worked all the time, guys loved it when I threw myself at them. Not so much now that I’ve flat lined.’

They keep talking, and Jared finds himself enjoying Genevieve’s company more than he ever thought he would. She’s amazingly funny, and smart, and he thinks if she had been like this when he first met her it would have been easy to fall for her.

He tells her as much.

‘Really? Drat,’ she sighs. ‘I’m a bit of an idiot when it comes to men. Thanks though, I suppose, I’ll be keeping that in mind for next time, or hell, if Jensen’s ever out of the picture.’

Jared smiles at that.

‘But somehow, I don’t see that happening any time soon,’ she says. ‘Am I right?’

Jared blushes. ‘I don’t want it to happen,’ he says. They’ve reached the storefront, and Jared can see Katie through the window, powering through order after order at a pace that can only be matched by another reaper.

‘Well that’s step number one to keeping it at least, that much I do know. Have you told him how you feel yet?’

‘No, I don’t quite know how. And it’s still new, so I don’t want to jinx it, or scare him away.’

‘Somehow, I don’t think that’ll happen,’ she says, ‘not with the way it’s so obvious that he feels the same.’ She smacks the back of her hand against his chest. ‘Tell you what- tonight, you go have wild monkey sex with that hot piece of meat and tell him how you feel, and then tomorrow, come tell me all the details. Including the romantic bits. It’ll be like my own personal Harlequin novel.’

The door, which has been continually opening and closing with customers, now stays open.

‘Are you two finished yacking?’ Katie asks, and then, ‘Oh god, you’re not harassing him, are you, Gen?’

‘I’m being cool and collected and hoping it’ll steal him away,’ Genevieve replies, winking at Jared. ‘Why, you need help in there?’ she asks Katie.

‘Yes,’ Katie says. ‘It was fine and empty, so I told Mike he could leave and go screw Tom or something. So he did, leave that is, I have no idea if he’s bedding Tom right now or not, but I can’t get hold of him and every fucking person in the city has decided they want ice-cream right at this moment.’

Genevieve looks at Jared. ‘Help us, please?’ She bats her eyelashes and drops her voice. ‘I’ll make it so worth your time.’ Then she laughs. ‘And what I mean by that is I’ll make you a peppermint chocolate milkshake. They’re the best in the city.’

‘They are,’ Katie agrees, ‘they really are, and she won’t give me the secret of how she does it either.’

‘Well, if there’s milkshakes involved, count me in,’ Jared says, and goes to process the souls before joining Katie by the ice-cream.

He’s on his way upstairs when he bumps into Eric, on his way down.

‘Jay, man,’ he says, ‘how’s the gig treating you?’

‘It’s good, I’m having fun.’

‘Good, good,’ Eric says. ‘Not missing anybody while you’re out there, all alone?’ He smirks at Jared. Jared blushes.

‘You know, when I met Jensen, officially met him,’ Eric continues, ‘it was right after the first time he turned down the offer to move on. He was so miserable, you know, and so I sent through the offer to set him to rest and all I got back was a note that said “no thanks”. I thought, what the hell? Why would anyone turn that down, most of all when they’re that sad in their job?

‘So I went over. He was still in Scotland at that time, and he took one look at me and said “is that it, you’re Death?” That’s when I knew that Jensen was something special. Looks Death- dressed as the part I might add since it was official business- in the eye and asks him if that was all to it.’

Eric shakes his head. ‘He told me he liked the job he was doing, told me he didn’t want to move on and face his family, his friends, all those who he had failed. Was adamant, no matter what I said that he wouldn’t move on.

‘Next time I asked, was right before Jeff was due to join us. Jensen again, said no. So when Jeff came around, I thought “perfect! Someone for Jensen to connect to” and he did, mostly. It got a little skewed along the way and Jeff ended up being more of a father figure for Jen, but even now, when push comes to shove all Jensen has to do is frown and Jeff turns into the naive little acolyte he once was.

‘I’ve asked only two other times, the last only days before you came into existence- and that is, days before you were conceived. Still said no. His reasons are less about his family now, more about him actually genuinely liking this job- I’m guessing you’ve seen all the tricks he can do?’

Jared nods. ‘The shadow thing is pretty awesome.’

Eric’s eyes go wide with excitement. ‘It is, isn’t it? So damn awesome. He’s better at it than me, too, little bitch. Anyway.’ He coughs. ‘Jensen thinks he was made for this- and in some ways he was, you all are made for this job, but Jensen’s belief goes beyond anything else I’ve seen. I think part of him is still trying to atone for his life. But part of him, the part I can see deep down, was missing something, waiting for something.

‘And then, your mama and daddy went bada-bing bada-boom and you popped into my knowledge. That’s when I knew. Knew what you would become, how you were made for this business, and how you were made for Jensen.’

He leans in closer. ‘Sometimes, we find our soul mates in life. Sometimes, they’re born centuries apart. Now I don’t know if you two really are a matched pair, but something tells me the universe screwed up, and it’s what’s been keeping Jensen around. He’s been waiting for you all his afterlife, and he never even knew it.’

He straightens again, reaches up to clap a hand on Jared’s shoulder. ‘I know you won’t break his heart, but still, don’t break his heart. That kid’s the only thing that’s stayed around awhile in my existence, and I care for him.’ He looks up, presumably to where Jensen is in his apartment. He shakes his head, a fond smile tugging at his mouth, and then pats Jared.

‘And now, I’m off to the Bahamas. Work is never over, but at least I can do it on the beach with a coconut cocktail in my hand.’

And with that, he disappears, leaving Jared to run up the rest of the staircase. There’s something he has to tell Jensen.

He doesn’t get to tell Jensen right away, unfortunately. Jensen pretty much accosted him at the front door, dragging Jared inside and dropping to his knees there by the entrance. Jared had to close the door, before someone found their way up to this floor and saw them.

Jensen had whispered, ‘Missed you,’ before sucking Jared down and taking him all the way to heaven, and then Jared had to return in kind by picking Jensen up and carrying him into the bedroom.

Four hours, two showers and new bed sheets later, Jensen’s half asleep with his head on Jared’s chest.

‘I’m hungry,’ Jared says, and Jensen stifles a laugh into Jared’s skin.

‘You want french toast?’ Jensen asks, Jared’s stomach rumbling in anticipation. Jensen smacks it lightly as he gets up. ‘Don’t fall asleep while I’m gone,’ he says. ‘It’ll be totally unfair if I’m slaving away in the kitchen while you’re snoring in here.’

‘I’ll get up then,’ Jared says. ‘I can’t help being sleepy, you wear me out. That stupid body and sex drive of yours really takes it out of me.’

‘You like this body, and its sex drive,’ Jensen says.

‘I love that body and its sex drive,’ Jared replies, Jensen laughing as he leaves the bedroom. Jared goes quiet. He does, he really loves Jensen. Loves everything about him, from the way he smiles to the way he stumbles around the apartment pre-coffee, grumbling and bitching about anything that comes to his attention.

Jared gets out of bed, tying the sheet around his waist. Jensen’s humming in the kitchen, Jared can hear it over the hiss of the pan and he stops in the hallway to listen. It’s the Pink Panther theme, but slightly jazzed up, and when he looks around the wall Jensen’s bopping around and sliding across the tiles, swaying his hips to the beat.

He’s so amazingly sexy. Jared’s heart soars.

He sneaks up behind Jensen, grabbing his hips and molding himself to the shape of Jensen’s body. Jensen jumps at the first touch but then eases back into Jared’s grasp.

‘I hate you,’ Jensen says. Jared smiles into the nape of Jensen’s neck. They sway together, Jensen resuming his humming at he pokes the spatula at the pan.

‘No you don’t, you love me. You love me like I love you.’

Jensen freezes, but it’s not in fright.

‘You love me?’ he asks, turning in Jared’s grasp.

‘I do,’ Jared says, ‘I really do.’

‘You’re just saying that because we had sex and I’m making you food.’

‘No, I love you because you’re humming Pink Panther, and eyeing the coffee machine, and because you really are the most amazing person ever.’

‘Oh,’ Jensen says in a whisper. ‘That’s good. Because I love you too.’

Jared just kisses him, because there’s really nothing more to say. There is food to cook though, and then to eat, and lots of monkey sex to be had, which Jared carries out with great enthusiasm.

‘Tell me, Jarebear,’ Danneel starts, ‘am I awesome or what?’

Jared tells her, ‘You’re awesome, I admit. Are this amount of leaves necessary though?’

It’s Danneel’s turn to host a party, and she’s decided that in honor of the approaching autumn, she’s holding an autumn equinox party. It’s neither on nor near the equinox, but that doesn’t matter to Danneel, who says her equinox party will be much better than whatever Tom’s planning for next month.

Jared’s inclined to agree, although he honestly doesn’t know how awesome Tom’s parties may be. He thinks if Mike manages to convince him to theme it superhero like he’s been trying for the past few months, it may be even greater than Christmas last year was. He’s already got his batman costume ready and waiting, and he’s hoping he can get Jensen to wear something skintight.

Jensen’s turn is the month after- October, which means Halloween, and Jared can’t wait to see how he handles it. Apparently Jensen’s been very clever at getting out of hosting, but he can no longer avoid it, since he now has more than one friend who’ll gang up on him.

‘Of course it’s necessary,’ Danneel says. ‘It’s autumn. What kind of autumn would it be without fallen leaves?’

Katie walks in then, dropping her clipboard onto the kitchen counter.

‘A very shit autumn,’ she says in greeting, and Danneel smiles.

‘See? A very shit autumn indeed.’ She gives Katie a kiss, which doesn’t end for several minutes. Jared waits patiently, rolling eyes when they draw back for breath only to dive right back in again.

‘Like what you see?’ Katie purrs at him. Jared smirks.

‘Baby, I’m jealous. When are you gonna leave her for me, huh?’

Danneel laughs. ‘Alright, enough, I can’t stand the thought of penis near my girlfriend. Jare, when you see him, could you please remind Misha he is not, under any circumstances, allowed to dress up as a sex-ritual sacrifice? I figure if we can get everybody ordering him not to then he may just not do it.’

Jared nods. ‘I’m still allowed to come as a tree, right?’

‘Your costume is such a cop-out,’ Katie whines, tapping her nails on the counter. ‘Trees are all year round, and just because your tall, doesn’t mean you can get away with it.’

‘I could come as a totem pole,’ Jared muses. ‘I don’t know how autumn-y or pagan-y a totem pole actually is, but is that more appropriate for the idea of equinox and rituals? Although, you’d have Jensen climbing me all night if I came as a totem pole.’

‘You’d probably come anyway, with Jensen climbing all over you,’ Katie says, laughing.

‘If you really want, you can come as a tree,’ Danneel says. ‘At least that way, when Jensen does jump you, we can pass it off as enthusiasm for childhood activities rather than kinky pagan sex.’

‘Although, Jensen’s totally allowed to come as a sex ritual sacrifice,’ says Katie. ‘Bring your own oil though, ours smells like frangipanis.’

‘And that’s my cue to leave,’ Jared says, ‘because I really don’t want to hear the plotting on how you’re going to hand-assault my boyfriend. Danni, you still want me to pick up the stones?’

‘Yes please, and I asked them to include a set of candles too, so grab those while you’re at it. Thanks, Jared.’

He waves as he goes, but shuts the door quickly when he hears Katie mention throwing Danneel down on the couch and fulfilling a sex ritual of their own before the party starts.

He catches Chris on his way out, and manages to get him to come along to pick up Danneel’s stones. Chris looks somber, hands in his pockets as they walk.

‘You okay, man?’ Jared asks, and Chris shrugs.

‘I don’t know.’ He’s silent. Jared doesn’t intend to push it. Chris is worse than Jensen with the sharing and caring. ‘I’ve been offered to move on,’ he finally says.

‘Oh,’ Jared says, ‘that’s not a good thing for you?’

‘I’m honestly not sure. I’ve been in this a while, you know, since 1744, but I don’t know that I can leave right now. I know Jensen has you, and you’ve been amazing for him, but he’s still my best friend. I can’t just leave him. And I know me and Sandy have our problems, and it’s been getting worse lately, but I love her, Jared, and I really don’t want to let her go.’

‘Maybe you should talk this over with her, see what she has to say.’

‘Yeah, maybe, but I don’t want her to think I’m leaving because of her or something she did, or worse, for her to tell me to go because she doesn’t want me to stay, doesn’t want to fight for me.’

Jared doubts that’d happen. Chris and Sandy may not have the smoothest relationship- it seems like every third weekend Sandy’s on his threshold crying and saying she and Chris are over- but Jared knows that she loves Chris, otherwise she wouldn’t be so upset at every fight they have.

‘I don’t even know if I can turn it down, you know? Nobody’s ever turned it down before. Besides, where’s the new reaper gonna stay?’

‘There’s plenty of space in the building, Chris, especially since Tom’s finally now in with Mike. Even Jen and I have been talking about living together permanently. But… you know you can turn it down, yeah? You don’t have to move on? You can choose to stay.’

‘Really?’ Chris asks.

‘What, Jensen didn’t tell you?’ Chris frowns. ‘Huh, well- yeah, it’s not a requirement of you, just an offer. Saying no is the reason why Jen’s been around for so long.’

‘That little bastard. He told me he’d never been offered.’

Jared tries not to laugh too hard.

‘Talk it over with Sandy,’ he says and Chris looks at him. ‘How she looks at you? It’s how I look at Jen. I think you’ll find that she doesn’t want you to go. Have you told her how you feel?’

‘Never felt like it was the right time. I probably should, huh?’

‘Yeah,’ Jared says. ‘And you know it’ll probably help things run easier for you two if you do tell her. Chicks love romance, and Sandy deserves to know. Besides, you deserve to have her.’

‘That was mushy, man.’

‘I know. Funny what love does to your masculinity.’

‘Real men love!’ Chris grunts, thumping his chest, and they both break out into laughter.

They walk in comfortable silence until they get to the address Danneel had written down. It’s a warehouse, so they walk round to the loading dock, as per Danneel’s instructions (printed neatly under the address and underlined three times). Then they stop. And stare. And stare a little more at what they’re faced with, which happen to be “the stones” Danneel had asked for. Some are five feet tall, others are eight, stretching up past Jared to the point where he doesn’t know if they’ll even fit in the apartment.

‘Jesus,’ Chris mutters, and Jared has to agree. He goes up to one, touches it, expects cold rock but instead gets warm wood and what feels like paper.

‘It’s fake,’ Jared says, relieved, knocking on it. It makes a hollow sounding thunk thunk.

‘Really?’ Chris says. ‘Thank you universe! At least they’ll be easier to get back to base.’

He spoke too soon, because that’s when the twelve boxes of candles appear.

‘There’s forty candles to a box,’ the heavy set man with Danneel’s order says.

Jared asks if they can borrow a truck.

Though Danneel’s party, when it happens? Is so worth the effort when Jensen teleports them behind a row of stones, drops to his knees and blows him in the candlelight.

So this is Jared’s life now. Or, well, afterlife. He wakes up, usually in Jensen’s bed, but occasionally in his own with Jensen wrapped around him (either way they’re both in a bed together each morning), and puts on the coffee before he leaves for a morning exercise run (unless he’s been on a night run for souls, in which case, he sleeps half the day away). He gets downstairs, says a quick good morning to Jeff, puts on the coffee in the downstairs kitchen, and heads out.

He intersperses his run with blinking, teleporting across the city, then across the country, and sometimes across the ocean, just to run in new territories. When he gets back he takes a shower, with Jensen if he’s awake, and it usually turns into shower sex of some kind. Jared can’t help it, Jensen’s beautiful with the water connecting his freckles and sticking to his eyelashes, and if Jensen’s muttering is to be believed, Jared’s just as pretty in the shower, too. He (or they, depending on the shower) then hops back into bed for morning cuddling before it’s time to go out reaping. His and Jensen’s schedules have steadily synced up, courtesy of Death, Jared thinks, until they now both have days off together, and their shifts match to start and finish within the same hours so that whenever they’re not running around the city, they’re together.

Jared collects his first child just before Christmas comes around, from leukemia, and Jensen sits with him that night, drinking eggnog straight from the bottle until they pass out.

Jensen still writes two thousand pages for his daily reports, but at least Jared managed to get it down from his previous ten thousand or so. He achieved (and is still achieving) it by distracting Jensen at every opportunity, including one memorable day when Jensen was so stubborn that Jared came downstairs dressed only in his boxer briefs, and Katie had cackled while Misha filmed the whole thing to send to Vicki. Jensen had immediately dropped the pen and ushered Jared into the elevator, and Mike spent the next two days in a mood because he missed the whole thing.

Jared’s introduced Jensen to the wonderful world of action films, and Jensen still beats Jared at Xbox and tells him it’s character building.

At the end of the day, they either play music, Jensen occasionally playing for him because he’s ridiculously good at any instrument he picks up, or they read together, occasionally to each other, but Jared will deny that as long as he exists because there are some things an ego doesn’t recover from. Other days they chill with video games and movies. Then they have something to eat, something to drink, and head to bed, Jared spreading Jensen out on the sheets and breathing him in, whispering endearments into the still of the night.

He sometimes finds Jensen in Jeff’s office, laughing and chatting and reminiscing, and on those nights he lets them be and waits upstairs for Jensen to get back.

Every couple of weeks they get together with their friends and have dinner parties, mostly just getting drunk. They go to the monthly parties, getting dressed up and holding out as long as they can before finding a way to sneak off and get out of their clothes, and at Christmas Genevieve manages to kiss Jared under the mistletoe. It goes on longer than everybody thinks is necessary, but Jensen just shakes his head with a laugh and Jared can’t really blame Genevieve for taking the opportunity.

Eric drops by at that party, and it turns out that Jensen’s right, Death is a weepy drunk. A weepy drunk who professes his love for “all the little minions that do my bidding” and Jensen and Jeff escort him to a bedroom to sleep it off before he gives away exactly who he is.

The call came in a week before it happened. Danneel had come rushing into the library, Sophia on her heels, and they both blinked at him with excited eyes.

‘Have you heard?’ Dannel asked.

Jared had put his book down. He had been waiting for Jensen to get back, from a meeting with the head of the London division about getting support for an international reaper scavenger hunt. The one that they had a couple of months ago across the States had been a resounding success.

‘Clearly I haven’t,’ Jared had said.

‘We’re all being called out, together at the same time. Next Tuesday, something big is happening and we’re all required to be there,’ Sophia said.

‘Well, okay, not all of us,’ Danneel said. ‘But nearly all of us, and we’re not having any other reaps that day.’

Misha had come racing into the library at that time, half out of breath.

‘Did you hear?’ he asked, eyes wide.

‘Yes!’ the girls replied, and the three of them had fallen into gossip and chatter like their afterlives depended on it.

Jared had closed his eyes.

Jen, Jared thought, you there?

Then in answer, Yeah, Jare, I can hear you, what’s up?

Know anything about next Tuesday?

The big reap that’s happening? A little. I know we’re getting on a train.

How many of us are involved?

Almost all of us there in the city, Eric’s still deciding on who he thinks needs to miss out, and about half of a group from out west. I don’t know where they’re coming from though.

Will you be home soon?

Couple more hours, I promise.

I love you, Jen.

Love you too, see you soon.

Telepathy was much more awesome than Jensen had given it credit for.

The next Tuesday, they’re all gathered on the platform at the city terminal, waiting for the arrival of the country bound train.

Jared thinks they look ridiculous and is thankful no one can see them. They look like a bad flash mob, just a sea of black cloaks and sharp blades, flashing menacingly in the artificial light of the train station. Danneel winks at him before she throws her hood up over head. He doesn’t blame her, it’s cold and windy and ready to rain. The train pulls in, Jeff turning towards them, raising his voice over the squealing of the train’s brakes.

‘Alright, kiddos, listen up. Today is big, and we still don’t know quite how this is going down, but I think we all have some idea by now.’ Hooded figures all over the platform nod.

‘So, what we do is important, and it’s never been more obvious than this day. We get on this train, and we reap every soul that calls to us. We take away their pain, give them peaceful passings, and we bring their souls back to send on to their afterlife.’

‘We are death,’ Jensen mutters, and Jared thinks, yes, yes we are.

He still can’t mention the word around others, still some block that stops him from mentioning it, mainly to protect them and their feelings. But he can think it now when he couldn’t before, and say it around Jensen and Jeff, and he thinks that it makes him better at this job than the others. Because he truly understands what it means.

Jared was born so that he could die, as were all the others here with him today. It’s pointless to pretend otherwise.

They are death. He is death, and he’s never had more fun in his life.

He takes Jensen’s hand and together, they step on to the train.

‘Well well,’ Jensen says, ‘let’s get on with it.’

And they do.

Death- the last voyage, the longest, the best.
~Thomas Wolfe

{END}

ART

Christmas?

2011-11-20T03:25:44Z

I'm considering doing Christmas cards this year for anyone that would like one. Or if you're not religious, a card celebrating present-giving.

Comment, or PM with a full address, and a preffered name (not only a name to put on the address, but the name I shall call you inside the card).

Comments are screened, to protect privacy :)

And p.s. It'll never be too late. Even if it's December 26, I'll get one out as soon as possible celebrating new years, or something.