Activism & Allyship: How to Change the World (#160)

This is our third year of doing a special series of episodes for Pride Month and we’ve done a lot about the history of various Pride-related things, like the history of the movement itself, symbols and flags, and more. But I thought I’d take a little bit of a different approach to the first episode of this year’s series and give a bit of advice: I’m talking about activism and allyship, how to be a good ally, and how to be safe when practising your activism.

This is going to be focused a lot on allies who want to work harder to support the community and do what they can. Straight, cisgender people can be LGBTQ+ activists too — as with any minority, it’s actually really valuable to have activists who are allies!

There is a whole episode about the history of the movement, but as a quick recap:

In June 1969, the Stonewall Inn in New York’s Greenwich Village neighbourhood was raided by police officers. As people emptied out onto the streets, the officers took employees into custody for operating without a liquor licence, beat up patrons, and arrested anyone not wearing gender-appropriate clothing. 

For years prior to this, the LGBT community had experienced an increasing amount of hostility by law enforcement. Homosexuality was illegal in most US states, so any bar thought to be “friendly” to the LGBT community was often raided and shut down. But on this day at the Stonewall Inn, instead of the crowd disbursing as police emptied the bar, it grew, and the people started fighting back. The officers barricaded themselves in the bar and around 400 people began to riot outside.

Demonstrations continued over the next five days outside the inn, with people fueled by the constant harassment and hostility towards them and the discrimination they endured for years. This event became a catalyst for the LGBT civil rights movement. Although gay groups existed before, this was the first time gays, lesbians, bisexual, and transgender people came together as a community to fight for their rights.

Since then, Pride parades started taking place and LGBT rights groups started popping up virtually everywhere, and this is why activism is so important — it was then, when these people came together to fight for their rights, and it still is today as we still continue to fight for equity and make change happen. (Quick side note about equality vs equity)

LGBT rights isn’t just about making things like gay marriage legal. Although the LGBT community has made strides in legal rights, there are many battles left to face:

• Workplace discrimination
• Lack of gender-neutral public restrooms
• Gay conversion therapy
• Housing discrimination
• Acceptance in sports, politics, entertainment, business, etc.
• Health disparities
• Jury selection
• Military service
• Youth homelessness
• Adoption and foster care discrimination
• Violence
• Placement and treatment of trans people in prison
• Increased LGBTQ+ suicide rates

So, I’m now going to share with you some advice on how to be a great activist, whether you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community or an ally!

To be an LGBTQ+ ally might seem as easy as just telling people you’re an ally. If you agree in equality and fair treatment in society of people who identify as LGBT, then already you are an ally. But really, as comfortable as it may be for you to sit at home and wish the world to be a better, fairer, and a more inclusive place, there is much more you can do than simply lend your passive support to LGBT causes. Stonewall have shared some great tips for if you’re ready to transform yourself from an armchair supporter to an engaged and active LGBT ally. It’s going to need some effort, but here’s a list of some great ways to get started.

Familiarise yourself with the language

You could begin with doing something as easy as reading a glossary of terms and teaching yourself the right language to use when talking with LGBT+ people. It’s a small but crucial step you can take to educate yourself and make sure you are using the terminology to be respectful to everyone around you, and also to help yourself to feel more confident when discussing LGBT+ issues.

Educate yourself on the history of LGBT activism & the challenges people still face

Getting to know the history of LGBT activism is an empowering act in becoming an LGBT ally. As well as honouring the effort and sacrifices of those that have come before, it’s important to appreciate how far we have come in the struggle for equality to fully understand how far we have left to go. This is the first step to figuring out where to focus your efforts.

Once you know the history you can help to shape the future. Do some research into the specific battles that are being fought now, and find out the obstacles that the LGBT community is facing. Discover specific campaigns that resonate with you so you can get active and focus your support to help really make a difference.

Be visible, get involved in the community, and show your support

Sitting at home on the internet is the tip of the ally iceberg. If you really want to get involved in the cause it’s important to get out there and active in your community. Pride Month is the perfect time to do this: find LGBT events near you that welcome allies. Let the community know that you stand with them — your presence at these events is a significant show of solidarity and support. Joining the conversation and listening to the experiences of the people you meet will undoubtedly broaden your understanding of what it means to be an ally and better your awareness of how to help to achieve equality for all. (Listening is the important word there — I’ll come back to that in a minute!)

A note about attending Pride events: remember that there is a painful past and present that accompanies the celebration and it is important to be mindful of this. Pride is a time for LGBT people to freely express themselves in a world that still very much tries to control their bodies. Some will celebrate by wearing sequins and feathers, some will dance in the streets, others will cry as they mourn the loss of a friend or loved one to LGBT violence, and many will love, laugh and be merry. If you choose to attend a Pride event as a straight ally, and we highly recommend you do, be cognizant of the purpose of the celebration, be respectful, and have a great time.

There are even little things you can do to show your visibility as an ally, like including your pronouns in your bio (doing so normalises it for everyone, not just trans/non-binary people), wearing an rainbow ally pin, or having a Pride flag on your desk at work. Email your local councillors to rally support for certain political topics, either to show your support if they’re pro-LGBTQ+, or to challenge them if their voting record is more negative.

Stand up for what you believe in

It’s easy to imagine that when you come across discrimination or hateful language you will zip into action, righting wrongs and effortlessly challenging the behaviour and views of people speaking and acting in a harmful manner. But the reality can be very different, and truthfully, standing up against discrimination can be an intimidating experience. The important thing is to let your voice be heard and although it’s not always easy, these are situations where being an ally really counts. It’s important to let those with bigoted views know that they are not in a world where they can marginalise or bully those that need our support — and this is really the essence of what being an ally is all about.

Listen!

I already just mentioned the importance of listening to people you are supporting. For a long time, queer voices in the UK have been pushed to the margins of society, ignored, ridiculed and persecuted. But now, with the media and internet especially, those voices are being heard, and it’s important that as an ally you listen.

Take what your queer friends say to you about their experience seriously. Follow LGBTQ+ accounts on social media, watch programmes made by queer people, read books, listen to podcasts. And most importantly, if someone comes out to you, let them lead the way. For many, coming out is an incredibly difficult experience, so follow their tone of voice — if they’re speaking casually it could be because they don’t want to make a big deal of it. If they want it to be kept between you, absolutely do that.

Also, it’s important to use the pronouns LGBTQ+ people give themselves, especially in the case of transgender or gender-fluid people. If you’re asked to refer to a person as she/her or he/him, do so without question and do not apply labels to someone unless they’ve told you them already.

Stop supporting organisations or political parties that promote hate

This is an obvious one, but it’s still worth noting. Do some research. Look at politicians’ voting records or diversity statements of companies you support.

Staying safe as an activist

Finally, I also wanted to share some advice on staying safe as an activist, especially if you’re planning on being involved in demonstrations or protests.

Analyse yourself and your surroundings

Take some time to foresee potential consequences of actions that are being planned. Sit down, just you or with your collective and start analysing the work you do and who it affects. Who do you affect indirectly? Put it in the context of your community. Has anything that happened locally recently affected the work you do? What about nationally or internationally? Start small and then look at the bigger picture.

Who’s who?

Understand who your allies are—who might be an ally and who definitely is not an ally. Write down the organisations that you know are friendly, then the ones that you're not sure about. Then also think about the people you are trying to target with your actions. Doing these things will give you an idea of who you can rely on and who you should avoid.

Considering your ‘enemies’ can also help you understand and have an idea of the response they’ll have if you do certain actions, and conversely, considering your allies can be very useful when you are in need of support. Creating connections with others that can mutually help each other is part of building resilience and solidarity.

Have a support network

Communication is vital. Having the numbers of people you trust on your phone can be a life saver. Fostering these connections with allies can make emergency responses quick and effective. Even just as an individual, putting in the number of trusted allies on your quick dial can help in emergency situations. Calling in on friends and allies can help keep track of your movements and whereabouts, especially if you think you’re heading into troubling circumstances.

Mental wellbeing

Finally, a big one is being aware of your own mental wellbeing! Staying safe is all about looking after yourself, and that includes your mental health. Activism can be hard on people’s mental health, and it could lead to burnout. Make sure to take breaks, have a support system around you for when you do need to debrief or get your feelings off your chest, and, you know… do all the normal things too, like drinking enough and getting enough sleep. If you’re continuously stressed or overwhelmed, take a step back and decide if you need to take a break. Looking after yourself should be your priority, and most people will understand that.

There’s a lot more than can be said here, both on how to be a good ally and also how to be a safe activist, so I’ll put some great links in the notes for this episode.