Layah the Biped

layah — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 19:04:09 GMT

Gory details of my miscarriage:
So I seem to have done most of my miscarrying last night. I started bleeding on Thursday and had mild cramps like for a regular period. Then Friday my cramps were less, until the evening when they just started getting worse and worse. I spent much of the evening sitting on the toilet because I felt like I had to go even though nothing was happening. The moment Ryan came home I sent him out to buy me a heating pad, and he had to go to two stores before he found one. I spent the entire time he was gone pacing because that seemed to hurt the least. Then I threw up more than I had any idea could possibly fit in my stomach. I started panicking about the severity of my cramps because at the rate they were getting worse the pain would be unbearable before an emergency room would even see me if we decided to go to one. So I had Ryan call my doctor at 9:30pm on a Friday night, and she proscribed Vicodin for me. Meanwhile while Ryan was on the phone with the doctor, I was in the bathroom and suddenly felt like I needed to lie down right that moment, so I lied down on the floor. A couple seconds later I needed to get up again, and sat back on the toilet, and then I noticed on the floor what I am assuming must be the placenta. It looks just like a dead jellyfish on a beach, sort of gooey and translucent, except it was a bit bigger than a golf ball. And you can see two dots inside that are presumably the twin fetuses. About ten minutes later my cramps went from scary to merely very bad. When Ryan came back with the vicodin I almost regretted having bothered him and my doctor with it, but it turns out it was worthwhile anyway, because I took some and went to bed, and I woke up the moment it wore off with cramps not too horrible but bad enough to have kept me awake much of the night.
Today I am still bleeding and having cramps just about like a regular period. I put the fetus(es) in the fridge and I'm going to see if the doctor can use them to learn anything about why I miscarried. If she doesn't want it I'm going to poke it open and look at it. Russell says that's creepy.

layah — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 15:51:33 GMT

XKCD Wedding cake!

From http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

layah — Fri, 06 May 2011 16:56:17 GMT

I'm having a sleep test last night and today. The Internet here isn't working today. Thank god for my phone

Actually it's kind of weird to thank god for it isn't it?

As an unrelated question, if someone is knowledgeable about jewels can they tell from a casual glance if diamonds are real? I'm guessing yes from glass but what about from cubic zirconium? Not that I know why I'm asking you all. I don't think I know any gem enthusiasts.

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layah — Tue, 03 May 2011 21:38:03 GMT

I have two shirts that talk about science:

I hadn't really thought about what the shirt would look like to people who aren't familiar with those references when I got them, but since I started wearing them I have had several people ask me if I am a science teacher or a scientist. Then it occurred to me that the way both of those use the word science is referring more to a method of understanding the universe than they are talking about physics or geology or biology or anything like that. I kind of feel like the word science is used slightly different in nerd culture.

layah — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 22:50:47 GMT

I have the best job. A couple days ago a client who owns a bakery came in, and he brought us baked things. He makes these amazingly yummy heart shaped chocolate dipped things. I want to know what they are called so I can learn to make them. They are so good. Today someone came in and brought us cookies. I think they came with a commercial. I wonder if he thinks he can guilt people into giving him business by bringing them cookies. I don't mind! When I worked here a couple years ago someone sent us a huge box of See's candies. And the guy with a bakery came in several times. One time he asked me which things I like, and I told him the heart shaped ones, and he brought me an entire box of just those. Mmm, sedentary life where people bring you sweets....

layah — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 14:54:59 GMT

I think there should be a rule against smokers Sitting next to me on public transportation. We could have designated smoker seats. "if you have smoked in the past hour sit here". The lady sitting next to me on the train stinks. Plus the train isn't even full enough yet for someone to have to sit next to me at all.

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layah — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 21:36:04 GMT

My stapler says "OPEN AWAY FROM FACE" with the quotation marks included. It's like the staper is talking and has it's own quote written on itself. I "hate" extraneous qutotation marks.

In other news I decided to become a CPA again. I found a website, http://www.cvc.edu/students/courses/, that gives you a list of online classes at California community colleges (and maybe public colleges too). That will be so much cheaper than last time when I decided that if I was going to take 42 more units I might as well get a MA. This time I decided if I'm going to take 39 more units, I might as well take them as quickly and cheaply as possible.

layah — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 20:19:56 GMT

This morning I was fighting with the ticket machine to take the train in to work. For some reason the machine at the Ventura Metrolink station doesn't like my favorite credit card. The one at the Burbank station doesn't have any problem with it. But it didn't like any of my other credit cards either, or my debit card. I was contemplating riding the train without a ticket. There is a fine if they catch you, but they never seem to check tickets. Then another lady getting on the train with a ten ride ticket offered to validate an extra ticket for me in case they did check. After we got on the train I offered to write her a check for the money, and she said I should keep it an use it to pay off my credit cards.

Then she went on an anti-credit card tirade, and they never checked tickets anyways. And when I got to work my coworker had brought me coffee. What a nice day :-)

layah — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 18:34:44 GMT

http://www.break.com/index/chick-has-21-different-accents.html

Wow, this woman does 21 different accents. They sound really good to me, not that I can tell any but my own. But, Californians, her California accent didn't sound right to me, did it to you? Her Seattle accent sounded like the way I talk, and her California accent had to hard of an R. It's pretty incredible anyway.

layah — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 03:19:06 GMT

Oh my god I just had a dream that I killed a baby! Possibly Zane. I was laying on my back and the baby was laying on his stomach on my stomach, and he tried to nurse on the blanket I had between us. He got yarn from the blanket stuck in his mouth. He didn't really seem in distress but I kept pulling the yarn out and there was always more and I thought he must not be breathing. Then I got to some yarn that seemed to be stuck like he swallowed half of it. Wow, that was terrible.

layah — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 21:54:42 GMT

Most dropdown menus for title that I've seen give you the options of Mr., Mrs., and Ms. Sometimes Miss and Dr. are available. Look at this one from a British website.:

EDIT: For some reason the picture isn't working. It was a screen capture of an internet registration form for British Academy with a dropdown list of titles:
Dr
Baron
Baroness
Dame
Judge
Lady
Lord
Miss
Mr
Mrs
Ms
Professor
Reverend
Sir

layah — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 23:00:03 GMT

I was doing a search of the internet to figure out what a hipster is. Looking at a lot of pictures did not help me identify a clothing style except ugly thick rimmed glasses. Other than that there were great inconsistencies in what I was reading. The consistant factors seem to be: You like indie music and films, you have a bike with only one gear, you like Apple (but are anti-corporation), you drink Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, and you shop at American Apparel or Urban Outfitters or thrift stores. And apparently nobody self-identifies as a hipster, it is entirely a derogatory label. Are hipsters the same as indie? I didn't know indie was a subculture until I started reading Questionable Content. Now I am confused. Is there any relationship with emo? The hair seems kind of similar.

While I'm asking questions about labels for subcultures, is there a name for the people who wear suit pants cut off at the knee and suspenders and button up shirts and snap-brim hats? Are they related to ska music? Or swing dancing? Does every subculture have a music style to go with it? I am hopelessly ignorant.

layah — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 01:05:38 GMT

Wow. I have a small bookkeeping job that I got in December. So far all I have done is work a couple days with the previous bookkeeper to figure out what I'm doing. My boss got me a present. There was a pen, a box, and a Staples gift card. That was kind of cool, especially since I hardly did any work. Then I went to check the value of the giftcard. $100!! That is approximately ten times bigger than I expected. Wow. I haven't even done $100 worth of work for him yet.

By the way, anyone want to buy a giftcard? Going to staples for any reason? Pretty please? Need ink cartridges? Anything? I want to buy knitting needles. Staples does not sell knitting supplies, sadly.

layah — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 05:45:57 GMT

I'm at a bar in Chicago. Just finished a very nice 3.5 hour dinner wherein I have gotten to spend time with and get to know my sister in law for the first time. It was really good. Now I'm at a bar. I hate bars. It's loud. There is no where to sit. It's loud. The last train back to near the hotel left an hour ago. Usually the bar goig or club going part of the evening is my cue to go home. Instead I am left at the mercy if the drinking girl with the car. Hopefully shell br happy to let me or Ryan drive or were gonna have to afford a cab. Bleah.

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layah — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 23:29:04 GMT

A placement agency contacted me (first time that ever happened!) because they thought I was a good candidate for a job as a paralegal. That would be so cool! As far as I can tell that means half secretary work and half getting paid to do research! Got an interview on Monday. This is so exciting!

layah — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 18:30:08 GMT

In case you think you don't want to read the Harry Potter fanfic I mentioned earlier, here is a quote. This is a speech Harry Potter is giving his pretend army that he named the Chaos Legion before they go into their first pretend battle. Remember, no one is going to die. This is a pretend battle and the stakes are nothing at all. Oh, and their battle song is the word "doom" sung to Darth Vader's march.

"(Ex tempore speech given by General Potter to the Chaos Legion, immediately before their first battle, on November 3rd, 1991, at 2:56pm:)

My troops, I'm not going to lie to you, our situation today is very grim. Dragon Army has never lost a single battle. And Hermione Granger... has a very good memory. The truth is, most of you are probably going to die. And the survivors will envy the dead. But we have to win this. We have to win this so that someday, our children can enjoy the taste of chocolate again. Everything is at stake here. Literally everything. If we lose, the whole universe just blinks out like a light bulb. And now I realize that most of you don't know what a light bulb is. Well, take it from me, it's bad. But if we have to go down, let's go down fighting, like heroes, so that as the darkness closes in, we can think to ourselves, at least we had fun. Are you afraid to die? I know I am. I can feel those cold shivers of fear like someone is pumping ice cream into my shirt. But I know... that history is watching us. It was watching us when we changed into our uniforms. It was probably taking pictures. And history, my troops, is written by the victors. If we win this, we can write our own history. A history in which Hogwarts was founded by four renegade house elves. We can make everyone study that history, even though it isn't true, and if they don't answer the right way on our tests... they'll fail the class. Isn't that worth dying for? No, don't answer that. Some things are better left unknown. None of us know why we're here. None of us know why we're fighting. We just woke up in these uniforms in this mysterious forest, knowing only that there was no way to get our names and memories back except victory. The students in those other armies out there... they're just like us. They don't want to die. They're fighting to protect each other, the only friends they have left. They're fighting because they know they have families who'll miss them, even if they can't remember now. They may even be fighting to save the world. But we have a better reason to fight than they do. We fight because we like it. We fight to amuse eldritch monstrosities from beyond Space and Time. We fight because we're Chaos. Soon the final battle will begin, so let me say now, because I won't get a chance later, that it was an honor to be your commander, however briefly. Thank you, thank you all. And remember, your goal isn't just to cut down the enemy, it's to make them afraid."

Some of their battle cries are ""Blood for the blood god!" screamed Neville. "Skulls for the skull throne! Ia! Shub-Niggurath! The enemy's gate is sideways!""

layah — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 11:12:55 GMT

You have to read this! http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5782108/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Methods_of_Rationality I know, it's Harry Potter fanfic, but it's not like that! Harry Potter is all sciency and rationalist and a genius and it is hilarious and interesting and well written and you learn things about scientific method and logic and stuff like that. Plus, no slash! Oh, well that might not be a plus for all of you....

Puns for your pleasure...or pain...

layah — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 22:26:06 GMT

These are culled from a much longer list. Aren't you glad I saved you from the worst ones?

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count
that votes.

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

layah — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 22:24:38 GMT

I have just determined that Either Oxnard or Ventura or both Appleones suck. Several years ago I was looking for a job, I signed up with either OXnard or Ventura, don't remember which, and they gave me nothing, so I signed up with TO and got a job that day. More recently I called Ventura Appleone and they said they don't have any jobs and didn't even want to interview me. So I go to Santa Barbara Appleone and I have a job the next day (tomorrow). It's a boring job for not enough money, but I don't want to start out my relationship with them turning down a job, and it's only a few days.

In other news, Rachel and Justin are at Disneyworld, and in the mean time I'm supposed to be taking care of the pets. Rachel left detailed instructions posted all over the kitchen. My favorite is the cabinet she labeled "Pet cabinet (do not put pets in here)". And all of the notes say several times "Don't kill the pets." Well, just to be contrary I tried to kill the pets today. Luckily for Rachel it didn't work. I was feeding the quail when one of the finches decided to make a dash for freedom. And by freedom I mean being eaten by cats. The cats thought this was the best thing ever. For some reason the finch seems incapable of perching on something high, so the cats are catching him, and I come in running and screaming, and the bird and the cats go into rachel's bedroom. So I grab a cat and toss him in the bathroom. Then I run into the bedroom, where the finch is huddled in a corner with the cat watching her. So I grab that cat and throw him in the bathroom, but in the meantime the other cat escaped. Not doing well today and keeping things in their rooms. So me and the first cat are back in the bedroom with the finch. I'm protecting the finch from the cat, because I really don't know how to catch it and I don't want it to fly away again where the cat can get it. And it kept flying full speed into the mirror, which probably isn't good for it. So i finally managed to chase the cat out of the room, so now finch is in bedroom and cats are not. But I still don't know how to get the finch back into the cage. I am contemplating leaving the finch in the bedroom for the next week. I call rachel, and she says you just catch it with your hands. So I tentatively reached my hand out, and the finch flew into the bathroom, smacked into the mirror, just barely made it over the shower door and drop to the corner fo the shower. I open the shower door, and no reaction from the finch. I step into the shower and the finch makes a break for it but doesn't quite get high enough to get over the door, and ends up back where he was. I reach for the finch and he once again unsuccessfully tries to get out of the shower.

Then I contemplated how I was going to get the finch back into the cage after I caught him. The door to the room was my first obstacle, but I figured tht wouldn't be too big of a problem because it has a long handle instead of a round one so I can push it down with my elbow. The birdcage was a harder problem. I suppose I could use two fingers to open it while I use the rest of them to hold the finch, but I just had visions of him flying away and getting eaten by cats again. So instead I go get a cup and an index card. I go back to the shower. The finch is still there. I put one foot in the shower and the finch flew up and this time made it to the top of the shower door. No way I'm going to get him off that in a cup. So I gently shoo him off of it and he flies frantically into the other room, smashing into the mirror several times. I could tell he ended up in the corner near the closet. I carefully slide the closet door open. No finch sound. I carefully pick up a giant stuffed horse. No finch movement. I look around in the dark (rachel said it's easier to get them in the dark) and finally see the finch sitting there in the corner. Reach over with the cup and I got him! He's fluttering frantically, and I can see he is inside the cup but his foot is outside. Ouch! I hope I didn't do more damage catching him than the cats did. So I lifted the corner up and he pulled his leg in but didn't stop frantically flapping. I slid the card under and carryed him back to the cage with him frantically flapping. Got him back in the cage. He was sitting in the corner of the cage on the bottom, which is not a great sign, and then I realized he was missing a foot. Oh no! I cut his foot off! No, thankfully, rachel told me that one of them was already missing a foot. I looked at the other finch. It had two feet. So this is the one that was already missing a foot.

So I finally finished feeding and watering the birds. The finch is back up on his perch and seems fine now, but just to be sure I put some birdy antibiotic in their water. The quail is hte one that seems most traumatized by this. Or something. He appears to be trying to bathe in his food. He sits in the bowl and flaps his wings, spraying birdseed all over the room.

So that is my pet adventure. I'm glad the dogs were outside at the time.

layah — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 21:45:36 GMT

I'm tired of writing for $0.02 per word. It's not enough, and since I'm ghost writing it's not going to get me anywhere because I don't have anything to show for my work. So I decided to try writing something to submit to magazines. My first thought was, of course, to write short fiction. But it's probably easier to get non-fiction accepted. So anyway I decided the first step in this project is to do some research, so I went to Barnes and Noble and bought a bunch of magazines. What really surprised me is that there are two magazines that publish sci-fi short stories, and I could not find any other magazines that publish fiction. I figured every niche would have at least one magazine, and there would be something for general fiction too. A lot of authors I read about started out by getting short stories published in magazines. Admittedly, that was mostly sci-fi authors, but still. How do you get a book published? My ideas tend to be novel length, but how do you get someone to look at your novel?

Not that I object to writing science fiction. I actually have had an idea that was a short-story length idea rather than a novel idea for a sci-fi story floating around in my head for a while. THe only problem with this plan is its risk. I will probably have to write a bunch and not get paid for it. But man, if you can start writing for magazines you get paid approximately ten times what I get paid for writing now.

layah — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 11:13:41 GMT

I hate Wikipedia. And by hate I mean it is after 4 am and I know so much more about quantum entanglement and observation and relativity paradoxes like the ladder paradox and the double slit experiment and Schrodinger's cat, but I don't know anything about sleeping and being rested tomorrow. Stupid Wikipedia. "Sorry I'm late for work, but Wikipedia kept me up all night"

Also, GAMES! I got lots of party games for my wedding. You should come over and play them. Today. This afternoon/evening. Email me or comment if you need my address. I know, lots of you are at Great Western, but if you're not come play games with me!

layah — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 08:14:06 GMT

I haven't updated because I wanted to tell you all about the honeymoon, but lost the motivation. So here is the really short version: It was really fun. We went to my in-laws' vacation house in Pinetop AZ. Of course the wedding was the day before the record-breaking heat, and this week (which was my original plan of when I'd have the wedding) is nice and cool. We went horseback riding and saw a movie and ate a lot of good food, then on our last day of honeymoon we went white water rafting through the grand canyon with a helicopter ride out. That was really great. I've never been rafting before. i want to do that again.

My battery stopped charging so I brought my computer in to be fixed. They had it for several weeks, but it was okay because they gave me a better computer as my loaner and I was having fun using that. THen they told me that the problem was the battery is broken and that isn't covered on the warranty (despite what they originally told me when they sold me the computer and warranty). Then I got it home and I couldn't even get it to turn on. I took the battery out and it finally turned on, but of course it turns off every time the plug gets bumped.

But today I found out the battery will charge as long as I initially push the plug in with great force. It's not like I have to hold it in, I just have to do that to get it started charging. Somehow I don't think it's the battery that's broken. Of course it could either be my computer or my cord, and if it's the cord that's not under warranty either (despite what they told me when I bought the warranty, which I would not have bought if I had known that). I would like to just try another plug in it, but they don't have any other plugs I can try of course. I suppose I could buy one and then return it if it isn't the problem....

I just want to buy a new computer :-p Oh well, at least my computer works.

layah — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 06:01:21 GMT

No Internet at the honeymoon house so I am forced to post from my phone which is going very slowly and isn't getting 3G. It says e whatever that means. In case you somehow missed it I am now married. If only AT&T wasn't so stupid I could have tethering and type this up on my computer. Well there's probably some way I could type it there then move it here but I don't feel like figuring it out.

The wedding was amazing. Everyone who helped was wonderful. I was so surprised that I mostly sat around and other people got stuff done without me being in charge if everything. This was due in large part to my surprise bridesmaid Vivian. I call her that because it was sort of like "surprise! You have another bridesmaid" only she did the work without getting the glory.
Now I'm hanging out in az to escape the record heat in la haha. My lj app is misbehaving so I'm going to end here. More later

Ggsdgg

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layah — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 07:11:58 GMT

Oh MY GOD I"M GOING TO KILL HIM! I had to order the number of tables I needed a week and a half ago. Since then, I have had at least eight people tell me they can come. They have all been apologetic and say oh it's okay if you can't add me, but they are either relatives who I kinda feel obligated to say yes or people who I want to come. I just got a message from former roommate Owain that he can come. There are exactly 2 empty chairs in the entire wedding, and they aren't at the same table. "you can come but you can't sit down"? I'm going to be so glad when this is over.

In other news, bachelorette party was AWESOME! The pirate dinner theater was way more fun than I remembered.

layah — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 02:33:54 GMT

I was hoping we appeased Murphy's law when my mom got sick and couldn't decorate my wedding cake. I drove out to the wedding site in a rush and filled and crumb coated two layers, and thankfully didn't have to go back again to decorate it (which I suck at) because my uncle has a friend who agreed to do it. So my mom seemed to be doing better, I thought we'd be okay. I just heard my mom is in the emergency room and going to be admitted to the hospital for the night. Thanks to the crappy cell phone reception I get in my house I don't know any more than that, and that it's not life threatening. I was worried my mom would be sick at the wedding and therefore not enjoy it. What am I going to do if she's in the hospital for the wedding?