by the pricking of my thumbs

Character Development Questions

ladymac111 — Mon, 23 Sep 2013 02:41:52 GMT

Selected from a psychologist's new patient form

BASIC

Name

Age

Occupation

Sex

Religion

What sort of work are you doing now?

Does your present work satisfy you?

What kind of jobs have you held in the past?

FAMILY

If you were not brought up by your parents, who raised you and between what years?

Describe your father's (or father substitute's) personality and his attitude towards you (past and present)

Describe your mother's (or mother substitute's) personality and her attitude towards you (past and present)

In what ways were you disciplined or punished by your parents?

Give an impression of the home atmosphere in which you grew up. Mention state of compatibility between parents and between children.

Were you able to confide in your parents?

Did you feel loved and respected by your parents?

ACADEMIC

Scholastic strengths

Scholastic weaknesses

BEHAVIOURS

What are some special talents or skills that you feel proud of?

What would you like to start doing?

What would you like to stop doing?

How is your free time spent?

What kind of hobbies or activities do you enjoy or find relaxing?

If you could have any two wishes, what would they be?

FEELINGS

What are your five main fears?

What are some positive feelings you have experienced recently?

When are you most likely to lose control of your feelings?

Describe any situations that make you feel calm or relaxed.

SENSATIONS

What sensations are pleasant for you?

What sensations are unpleasant for you?

IMAGES

Describe a very pleasant image, mental picture, or fantasy.

Describe a very unpleasant image.

Describe your image of a completely “safe place.”

Describe any persistent or disturbing images.

How often do you have nightmares?

THOUGHTS

Are you bothered by thoughts that occur over and over?

What worries do you have?

INTERPERSONAL

Do you make friends easily? Do you keep them?

Do/did you date much?

Were you ever bullied or severely teased?

Describe any relationship that gives you joy.

Describe any relationship that gives you grief.

Do you have anyone with whom you feel comfortable sharing your most private thoughts?

MARRIAGE/COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP

How long did you know your spouse before your engagement?

How long were you engaged before you got married?

How long have you been married?

Describe your spouse's personality.

What do you like most about your spouse?

What do you like least about your spouse?

What factors detract from your marital satisfaction.

SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS

Describe your parents' attitude toward sex. Was sex discussed in your home?

When and how did you derive your first knowledge of sex?

When did you first become aware of your own sexual impulses?

Have you ever experienced anxiety or guilt arising out of sex or masturbation?

Is your present sex life satisfactory?

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS

Are there any problems in your relationships with people at work?

One of the ways people hurt you is:

You could shock someone by:

Your spouse (boyfriend/girlfriend) would describe you as:

Your best friend thinks you are:

People who dislike you:

Are you troubled by any past rejection or loss?

BIOLOGICAL

Any health conditions?

Do you get regular exercise?

OTP thing

ladymac111 — Thu, 09 May 2013 03:54:35 GMT

yoinked from Tumblr and posted here to be less obnoxious.

I'm doing this with Sherlock/John, of course.

big spoon/little spoon: They switch it up, though Sherlock often spontaneously big spoons when they're sleeping

favorite non-sexual activity: eating Chinese food on the couch after a case

who uses all the hot water: Sherlock. He's something of a diva in certain areas.

most trivial thing they fight over: Whether the sheets need washing.

who does most of the cleaning: John, obviously.

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: John again. Sherlock doesn't give a fuck, but he watches what John puts on.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: John again, though Mrs H usually knows.

who steals the blankets: Sherlock

who leaves their stuff around: Sherlock again

who remembers to buy the milk: John, because he's the one who keeps leaving it out and it goes off.

who remembers anniversaries: Neither of them!

who cooks normally?: John, though Sherlock has done it a couple of times and it was excellent. But usually he can't be bothered.

how often do they fight?: At least once a week, though it's usually relatively minor. They have big fights every couple of months.

what do they do when they’re away from each other?: Text.

nicknames for each other?: "Idiot."

who is more likely to pay for dinner?: John is more likely to have his wallet, though Sherlock is more likely to have a card that works.

what would they get each other for gifts?: John would agonize over it and get something like a new Moleskine at the last minuet. Sherlock would get something perfect, if he bothered.

who made the first move?: Sherlock, though John wanted to.

who remembers things?: Sherlock

who started the relationship?: they started it together. "Do you think we ...?" "Yes, I think so."

who cusses more?: John, by a lot. He swears casually. Sherlock reserves his coarse language for special situations.

what would they do if the other one was hurt?: You don't want to be there to find out. People have died.

Character Sheet: The Doctor ("The Doctor and the Teacher")

ladymac111 — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 01:48:57 GMT

Name: The Doctor

Physical appearance
(played by Martin Freeman)
How old does he appear:
about 40
Weight:
75 kg (165 lb)
Height:
170 cm (5'7")
Body build:
Compact and trim
Shape of face:
square
Eye colour:
deep blue
Glasses or contacts:
glasses sometimes
Skin tone:
light
Distinguishing marks:
none
Prominent features:
expressive eyes, large ears
Hair colour:
dirty blond with a bit of grey
Hair texture:
straight
Hairstyle:
short back and sides, side part, off the forehead
Voice:
light baritone
Overall attractiveness:
moderate
Physical disabilities:
none (able-bodied and healthy)
Usual fashion of dress:
quirky classic (slacks, shirt, waistcoat, jacket; fond of cravats and pocket squares)
sometimes suits, sometimes mix-and-match

Personality (as different/distinctive from the usual Doctor we see)
Positive personality traits:
very bold, very clever, very self-confident, serious when necessary
Negative personality traits:
cynical, apparently grouchy, slow to open up, very lonely and afraid of being hurt
Mood character is most often in:
becomes less grouchy the more time he spends with Tim
Sense of humour:
the usual for the Doctor (i.e. weird)
Character’s soft spot:
humans
Greatest strength:
fearlessness
Greatest vulnerability or weakness:
the people he loves, which is why he tries not to love at all

Favourites
Music:
classic rock
Food:
noodles, chocolate biscuits
Literature:
all kinds
Form of entertainment:
travelling, talking

Habits
Extremely skilled at:
technical things, science
Extremely unskilled at:
acting normal
Nervous tics:
purses lips, crosses arms (defensive body language)
Usual body posture:
upright, slightly aggressive
Mannerisms:
typically cool, takes his time with things (he's got all the time in the world)
Peculiarities:
very weird guy in general, often does or says confusing/strange things

Traits
Optimist or pessimist?
in the middle; at the beginning of his relationship with Tim he's more pessimistic, but he changes.
Introvert or extrovert?
extrovert who has learned how to live a somewhat secluded/lonely life
Daredevil or cautious?
very much a daredevil
Logical or emotional?
Lots of both, but life decisions tend to be more logically based
Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat?
messy/chaotic in most things
Confident or unsure of himself/herself?
very confident

Relationships with others
Opinion of other people in general:
very good; he loves people, but as said, is guarded
Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others?
yes, all the time
Most important person in character’s life before story starts:
himself
After story starts:
Tim

Character Sheet: Tim Lassiter (OMC, "The Doctor and the Teacher")

ladymac111 — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 00:38:38 GMT

Full name: Timothy Carlton Lassiter
Nickname: Tim
Age: 28

Physical appearance
(played by Benedict Cumberbatch)

How old does he appear:
mid to late twenties
Weight:
80 kg (180 lb)
Height:
183 cm (6'0")
Body build:
lean
Shape of face:
long oval
Eye colour:
icy blue/grey/green, central hazel heterochromia
Glasses or contacts:
no
Skin tone:
pale, prone to freckling and sunburn
Distinguishing marks:
none
Prominent features:
sharp cheekbones, distinctive eyes, full lips with pronounced cupid's bow
Hair color:
dark brown
Hair texture:
wavy to curly
Hairstyle:
short back and sides, longer forelock/fringe (curly)
Voice:
Baritone, somewhat posh accent
Overall attractiveness:
debatable (high to some, very low to others, including himself)
Physical disabilities:
none (able-bodied and healthy)
Usual fashion of dress:
comfortable classic casual (shirt and slacks, Converse, sometimes tie, jumper (cardigan, pullover, or vest))
jeans and t-shirts when he's dressing down, though he thinks this makes him look unattractive

Personality
Positive personality traits:
creative, curious, people-pleaser, gregarious, highly intelligent, adventurous, charismatic, honest, energetic, compassionate, driven
Negative personality traits:
tendency towards low self-esteem, susceptible to guilt, tends to get lost in his own head or alienate people, doesn't know when to stop talking, sometimes slightly manic
Mood character is most often in:
before Doctor: trying hard to feel like his life is worthwhile, often feeling stuck and slightly depressed, especially upon the loss of his job
after Doctor: like a puppy
Sense of humour:
variable: dry, silly, nerdy, unusual
Character’s greatest joy in life:
learning
Character’s greatest fear:
being stuck in an unrewarding, monotonous life
Favorite way to relax:
cup of tea, chocolate biscuit (or three), and a sci-fi novel
Most ill at ease when:
put on the spot in a situation with which he has no experience
Priorities:
education (self and others)
Life philosophy:
"When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be true."
If granted one wish, it would be:
To visit other worlds (lucky him!)
Character’s soft spot:
children in distress
Is this soft spot obvious to others?
sometimes
Greatest strength:
combining creativity and intelligence
Greatest vulnerability or weakness:
tends to underestimate himself (can be intimidated by projects that are actually within his capabilities)
Biggest regret:
not pursuing a career in science
Minor regret:
not making dating/friendship a priority (he's lonely, but he's come to accept it)

Past
Hometown:
suburban London
Type of childhood:
not broken, but not idyllic
Pets:
family cat
Childhood hero:
astronauts
Dream job:
astronomer or planetarium director
Education:
BA in early childhood education, minors in physics and English literature
Religion:
raised Anglican
Finances:
middle-class

Present
Current location:
at beginning of story, living alone in a small town outside Wells
Religion:
agnostic (lapsed Anglican)
Occupation:
primary school teacher, though more due to circumstance than ambition, and has just lost his job due to the school closing. Is considering moving to London and going back to school until he meets the Doctor.
Finances:
owns his small home (inheritance), but not wealthy

Family
Parents:
Carlton and Jaime Lassiter (deceased)
Relationship with them:
strained until their death in a car accident five years ago
Siblings:
Older sister, Cynthia Lassiter Morgenstern
Relationship with her:
cordial but distant
Other family members:
Cynthia's husband, Jonathan, and three-year-old son, Mark. Mark really likes his Uncle Tim though they don't see each other much.

Favourites
Music:
classic rock
Food:
pizza, chocolate biscuits
Literature:
science fiction (hard and soft)
Form of entertainment:
reading
Most prized possession:
collection of the complete works of Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, and Arthur C Clarke; 0.3-m reflector telescope (homemade)

Habits
Hobbies:
reading, following SETI, stargazing
Plays a musical instrument?
learned piano as a boy but hasn't played in years
Plays a sport?
was pretty good at football as a boy, enjoys jogging
How he/she would spend a rainy day:
in front of the fireplace with a book and a pot of tea
Spending habits:
thrifty, but has expensive taste, so he splurges on a few high-quality items
Smokes:
did in school/uni, gave it up
Drinks:
socially
Extremely skilled at:
understanding and explaining tricky/complicated concepts, making casual friends
Extremely unskilled at:
making close friends, maintaining other close relationships
Nervous tics:
hands in pockets, ruffling hair
Usual body posture:
upright, but highly variable (uses a lot of body language)
Mannerisms:
fiddles with objects (incl clothing), talks with hands
Peculiarities:
excellent speaker in "teacher voice", but tends to stammer slightly when unprepared or emotional.

Traits
Optimist or pessimist?
very optimistic externally, tends to be pessimistic about himself (see: low self-esteem issues)
Introvert or extrovert?
extrovert who has learned how to live a somewhat secluded/lonely life
Daredevil or cautious?
very much a daredevil
Logical or emotional?
Lots of both, but life decisions tend to be more emotionally based
Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat?
messy/chaotic in most things
Prefers working or relaxing?
generally working
Confident or unsure of himself/herself?
depends greatly on the situation
Animal lover?
not particularly

Relationships with others
Opinion of other people in general:
very good; he loves people
Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others?
even when he tries, he has difficulty. He's an open book emotionally.
Person character most hates:
his father, though he feels guilty for it
Best friend(s):
none
Love interest(s):
none, though he still occasionally pines after a girl he dated for six months at university until she graduated (a year ahead of him), even though he doesn't know where she is now.
Person character goes to for advice:
his sister Cynthia, when he can bear to, and the headmaster at school (when there was one)
Person character feels responsible for or takes care of:
his students (when he had them)
Person character feels shy or awkward around:
very few people, but mostly people who are extremely outgoing and opinionated, or people in tight cliques
Person character openly admires:
Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson
Person character secretly admires:
the Doctor (though it's hardly secret)
Most important person in character’s life before story starts:
himself, or his nephew Mark
After story starts:
the Doctor

fic: Glorious Dawn (Doctor Who, AU, G)

ladymac111 — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 01:32:09 GMT

AU: In which two English gentlemen meet each other.
One of them is a teacher in an English primary school and the other is The Doctor.

Starring: Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch

Glorious Dawn at AO3

art: In At The Deep End (Sherlock, G)

ladymac111 — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 20:02:18 GMT

"Cover" illustration for In At The Deep End by Jawsforsure.

visuals for "Miss Holmes"

ladymac111 — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 03:41:16 GMT

Miss Holmes at AO3

they're under the cut

two Sherlock fics

ladymac111 — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 00:27:35 GMT

We're Catching an Early Train
"Sherlock is cryptic, but John catches on."

and

Miss Holmes
"In his early twenties, Sherlock was perhaps a bit more trusting than he should have been. Now, his carelessness has an attitude, a Facebook page, and nowhere else to turn."

things that are better than anxiety

ladymac111 — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 20:58:17 GMT

Personal mental health rambles ahead.

I've been getting a lot of compliments on my weight loss recently, since I'm seeing people who I haven't in a while (they're coming for the wedding). I expect I'll get more.

I hope I don't.

Please, if you see me, don't mention my weight.

Over the past year+, I've lost over 20 pounds. What's the "secret" of my weight loss? Strict portion control. I have not cheated since spring 2011. I can't cheat. The consequences are terrible. They make me wish I was dead because it would be better than feeling so sick.

I have an anxiety disorder. My body expresses anxiety through my stomach. I can't eat when I'm stressed. Even when I'm not stressed, my stomach has been so damaged that 1) I need to take a strong prescription antacid every day, and 2) it's impossible for me to eat more than a cup of food at a time, even on my best days. On my bad days, I can barely manage a nibble of toast and a sip of water and I just want to die, I feel so awful. I know, logically, that the feeling will pass and I will feel better. On my good days, I'm confident and optimistic that eventually things will go back to how they were before and I won't have to eat off the smallest plate in the house and carry antacids with me everywhere I go and be constantly afraid that I'll screw up one of the myriad of things that could make me miserable for the next 48 hours.

If I could get rid of my anxiety completely, and go back to how I was before, never needing Xanax, never being depressed for no reason, not needing my therapist, not feeling multiple times a week that I wish I had never been born, I would trade for any of the following:

1. I would gain back double the weight I've lost (I would top 200 pounds).
2. I would never watch Star Trek again.
3. I would never watch Sherlock again.
4. Fuck, I would never watch another TV show or movie.
5. I would never participate in Internet fandom again.
6. I would have thyroid cancer again. (Cancer was ... not a walk in the park, maybe a 20-mile bike ride, compared to this. This is climbing Mount Everest right after swimming there from Australia, without a wetsuit.)
7. I would give up alcohol, coffee, tea, AND chocolate. As it is, alcohol and coffee are things of the past.
8. I would never eat pre-packaged food; I would cook EVERYTHING myself from scratch.
9. I would give up my dream career and teach freshman Chemistry until I'm 70 because I know I'll have to work that long to save enough for retirement.
10. I would give up all the wonderful friends I have. You guys, this is how bad it is. I would rather be lonely and healthy than keep living this way.
11. I would give up my legs.
12. I would give up my right arm.
13. I would give up my vision.
14. I would give up music.

If it meant I never had to feel like this again.

100 questions meme

ladymac111 — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 18:38:53 GMT

I used to be ALL OVER these things in like high school.

From the lovely ichbineintaube who I miss A LOT.

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
MUST be closed or the blanket monsters will get us.

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Not usually. I like my particular shampoo so I might as well leave them for the next person.

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
MUST be tucked in at the foot. I can't sleep otherwise.

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Tempted, but no.

5: Do you like to use post-it notes?
ALL THE TIME. Everything important gets written on a sticky note ~~and then lost~~.

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
I don't do coupons really, since I mostly shop at Trader Joe's and local produce markets.

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Oh god. Probably a bear? Though bees don't attack unless provoked. Wasps, on the other hand...

8: Do you have freckles?
No, but I do have lots of moles ... though four fewer than I did at 18.

9: Do you always smile for pictures?
ALWAYS :) unless I'm making a silly face.

10: What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who continue having conversations while I'm trying to talk to them (the curse of being a teacher)

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
No, but I count my strokes when I swim.

12: Have you ever peed in the woods?
Nope. I'm not really outdoorsy. Indoor plumbing is my friend.

13: What about pooped in the woods?
See above. Hopefully never.

14: Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
There's ALWAYS music playing in my head.

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Used to, less so now that most of my stuff is shared with other teachers and occasionally students.

16: How many people have you slept with this week?
Actually sleeping? Just the one usual one. Sex? Only myself.

17: What size is your bed?
Queen, and I love my mattress more than anything. Thank you, IKEA!

18: What is your Song of the week?
"Call Me Maybe" I refuse to be ashamed for randomly breaking out singing it.

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Depends on their skin tone and the particular shade.

20: Do you still watch cartoons?
Oh my yes. I'm looking forward to July because that's when I'll be able to devote my full attention to My Little Pony.

21: Whats your least favorite movie?
Why the fuck would I devote brain space to remembering a thing like that?

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
Hmmm ... probably under the fairy tree on the UCB campus. Somebody would probably find it but it would be very romantic.

23: What do you drink with dinner?
Water; gatorate or juice if I'm feeling ~fancy~

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
barbeque or ranch or both! ketchup if i'm desperate.

25: What is your favorite food?
At the moment, brownies from a box made with applesauce and water instead of the things the box calls for. Bonus: you can eat them raw with no risk of salmonella!

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Iron Man, Thor, Jurassic Park, every Pixar movie (except Cars 2 which I haven't seen).

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you?
Erik <3

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
I was a Girl Scout and the only good thing it did for me was let me go to Girl Scout Camp. My troop was boring.

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
magazine? probably not. I would be a nude model for artists to draw/paint.

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
I wrote to President Obama, AND HE WROTE BACK!! BY HAND!!!

31: Can you change the oil on a car?
Never tried

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Nope!

33: Ever ran out of gas?
Luckily no, though once I did turn the engine off and coast downhill in neutral because I was running on fumes.

34: Favorite kind of sandwich?
BLTAvocado

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?
leftover brownies! though my stomach is usually not happy with me unless I have cheerios.

36: What is your usual bedtime?
Usually 11; when I stay up late I can make it until 1 or 2.

37: Are you lazy?
oh my yes.

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
All kinds of stuff. I'm big on Halloween! Though my adult costumes are much more interesting than my kid costumes. Things like a vampire or a Tolkien elf or three different varieties of Starfleet uniform!

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Um ... tiger?

40: How many languages can you speak?
English and ok German I'm not fluent but I can get by

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Not on purpose. Sunset and Women's Health keep showing up for some reason.

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Ooooh, hard to say. I like that Lincoln Logs don't have all these specialty pieces; I feel like those stifle creativity.

43: Are you stubborn?
Sometimes.

44: Who is better; Leno or Letterman?
GP and the Fergs

45: Ever watch soap operas?
Only Downton Abbey

46: Are you afraid of heights?
sort of

47: Do you sing in the car?
ONLY EVERY DAY
HEY I JUST MET YOU, AND THIS IS CRAZY...

48: Do you sing in the shower?
Sometimes

49: Do you dance in the car?
Whenever Lady Gaga comes on. It's very difficult to resist doing the Fame dance but I have to keep my hands on the wheel.

50: Ever used a gun?
No, but I want to try

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Of just me? Probably high school. As a group, last fall with the other teachers for the yearbook.

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Some of them, and what's wrong with that?

53: Is Christmas stressful?
It depends. My body seems to think so but I think that's more SAD than Christmas itself.

54: Ever eat a pierogi?
oh my yes

55: Favorite type of fruit pie?
strawberry rhubarb

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Astronaut!

57: Do you believe in ghosts?
no

58: I accidentally hit delete and have no idea what this question was.
I do that a lot.

59: Take a vitamin daily?
Yes, D3 because it helps with the depression and the sun is not my friend.

60: Wear slippers?
Used to back when there was winter. It rarely gets cold enough here.

61: Wear a bath robe?
Yep! I've been meaning to make a lighter dressing gown too.

62: What do you wear to bed?
plaid pants that are 3 sizes too big, and a t-shirt

63: First concert?
Lady Gaga

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Target!!

65: Nike or Adidas?
Rocket Dog

66: Cheetos Or Fritos?
... neither?

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
pistachios

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
no

69: Ever take dance lessons?
Yes. More interestingly, I've taught swing lessons.

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Oh shit, am I too old for this? My CURRENT spouse is a graduate student in chemistry.

71: Can you curl your tongue?
Yes

72: Ever won a spelling bee?
I think so. It was just the class, not anything big, but I'm a kickass speller.

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
I cried from relief when I picked up my first bottle of Xanax. (It helped that Iz was playing in the store)

74: Own any record albums?
No, but I would if I had a turntable.

75: Own a record player?
See above.

76: Regularly burn incense?
Yes

77: Ever been in love?
f'sho

78: Who would you like to see in concert?
Lady Gaga again, the Goo Goo Dolls were EXCELLENT

79: What was the last concert you saw?
Watched LUJE livestreaming

80: Hot tea or cold tea?
Hot

81: Tea or coffee?
Coffee doesn't love me anymore.

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?
chocolate chip, bitches

83: Can you swim well?
I'm usually the fastest one in the pool at the Y

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
There are people who can't?

85: Are you patient?
At times

86: DJ or band, at a wedding?
Spotify playlist FTMFW

87: Ever won a contest?
last Tour de Fleece I won TWO random drawings!

88: Ever have plastic surgery?
Well, my surgeon did a plastic surgery suture after she took out my cancerous thyroid.

89: Which are better black or green olives?
black

90: Can you knit or crochet?
Yes

91: Best room for a fireplace?
Living room

92: Do you want to get married?
I think I'm too old for this meme.

93: If married, how long have you been married?
Aha! um ... negative 2.5 weeks.

94: Who was your HS crush?
This meme keeps assuming things about me. I had a steady boyfriend and it was a learning experience.

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
Please shoot me if I ever do.

96: Do you have kids?
dear god no

97: Do you want kids?
NO. I like kids that go home to somebody else at 3:00

98. Pizza or burgers?
both are excellent comfort food

99. Do you play sports? If not, what sport would you want to play?
does swimming count? And I play softball once a year.

100. Sleep?
As much as I can.

Sherlock Fanmix : The Reichenbach Redemption

ladymac111 — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 20:18:52 GMT

I haven't tried it, but you may be able to find this on Spotify by searching for the playlist title.

The beginning of this is not really slashy, if you ignore a few lyrics. It can be just canon bromance to a point. The shift is pretty obvious at track 8 ... feel free to skip it if Sherlock/John is not your cup of tea :)

1. Sherlock - Main Title by Dominick Hauser

2. JS Bach, Partita #1 in B minor, BWV 1002: Allemanda by Itzhak Perlman (Sherlock)

3. My Immortal by Evanescence (John)
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by
The life you left behind ...
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that
Time cannot erase ...
You still have
All of me

4. I Will Survive by Cake (John)
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side...
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
I'm trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart ...
And so you're back ...
I just walked in to find you here ...
I should have changed my fucking lock ...
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore.

5. How To Save A Life by The Fray (Sherlock)
Step one, you say we need to talk;
He walks;
You say sit down, it's just a talk....
He begins to raise his voice,
You lower yours ...
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend....
I know
How to save a life.

6. The Reason by Hoobastank (Sherlock)
I'm not a perfect person.
There's many things I wish I didn't do.
But I'll continue learning.
I never meant to do those things to you.
I just want you to know
I found a reason for me
To change who I used to be,
A reason to start over new:
And the reason is you.

7. My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson (John)
Guess this means you're sorry;
You're standing at my door....
Here you are again.
I know that I've got issues,
But you're pretty messed up too.
Either way, I found out
I'm nothing without you.
We belong together ...
You've got a piece of me
And honestly
My life
Would suck
Without you.

8. A Thousand Years by Christina Perry (John/Sherlock)
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
Watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow...
I have died every day waiting for you.
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you
For a thousand years.
I'll love you for a thousand more.

9. Breathless by the Corrs (John/Sherlock)
The daylight's fading slowly
But time with you is standing still....
I cannot lie,
From you I cannot hide....
And if there's no tomorrow
And all we have is here and now,
I'm happy just to have you
You're all the love I need....
Go on, go on,
Come on,
Leave me breathless.

10. Bad Romance by Lady Gaga (John)
I want your horror,
I want your design,
'cuz you're a criminal
As long as you're mine....
I want your psycho,
Your vertigo schtick,
Want you in my rear window,
Baby, it's sick....
You know that I want you,
And you know that I need you.
I want it bad,
Your bad romance.
I want your love,
And I want your revenge,
You and me could write a bad romance.

11. As Long As You're Mine from Wicked (John/Sherlock)
Kiss me too fiercely,
Hold me too tight;
I need help believing
You're with me tonight....
Maybe I'm brainless,
Maybe I'm wise,
But you've got me seeing
Through different eyes....
Just for this moment,
As long as you're mine.

12. Heaven by DJ Sammy (John/Sherlock)
Now nothing can take you away from me.
We've been down that road before,
But that's over now....
Baby, you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms.
I'm finding it hard to believe.
We're in heaven.

13. The Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga (John/Sherlock)
There ain't no reason you and me should be alone tonight
(yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby)
I need a man that thinks it's right when it's so wrong
(tonight, yeah baby, tonight, yeah baby)
Right on the limit's where we know we both belong tonight....
I'm on the edge with you.

Share and enjoy!

Thyroid cancer update!

ladymac111 — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 05:13:30 GMT

Hey there LJ, sorry I've been so slow getting around to updating you all on the thyroid situation.

On Friday morning I had surgery to remove my whole thyroid, and it went really well. The surgeon said it looked like the tumor was very well-contained, and I didn't have any complications. I spent a pretty miserable night in the hospital but I went home on Saturday as planned, and then my mom got into town and has been cooking and stuff and generally doing stuff that I'm not up for (either now temporarily, or ever because I'm just sort of lazy).

Still waiting to hear the results of the lymph biopsy, which will determine whether or not I need to have radio iodine therapy, though we're anticipating negative on any metastisis. My surgeon will call me as soon as the pathology results are in, and then I'll schedule an appointment to go see her and get the butterflies off my neck and she'll check out my wound and be sure it's healing all right.

Pathology results show cancerous cells in 4 of the 12 lymph nodes my surgeon removed. I'll be making an appointment with my endocrinologist to see where to go from here. I'm seeing my surgeon next Wednesday to check the incision and take the butterflies off.

I've pretty much got all my energy back, except I'm still taking codeine/acetaminophen pretty regularly to stay comfortable (the site is a bit swollen and tender, especially where the drain was, and my throat is a little bit sore) so I've got a mini narcotics haze happening and it's not safe for me to drive until I stop the medication. Also the site itches sometimes and I have to try to not scratch at it. Other than that I'm doing great though.

You'll also notice I have some new Sherlock user pics ... yeah ;)

STXI : S/U Holiday Fic Exchange : What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

ladymac111 — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 07:56:40 GMT

For zizi_west

Wants:
1. hide-and-seek -- ok as pursuit of a villain, party games, family, etc.
2. lingerie/half-dressed characters, or the act of undressing (self or someone else)
3. Music involved in some way. Could be carols or something else.

Rating: PG-13 for some sensuality

A/N: This story takes place during the first December following the events of XI. Spock and Uhura are together, but the relationship is still young and a bit insecure. This fits into the universe of "Entanglement" but easily stands alone.

Thanks to zizi_west for the wonderful prompt!!! I love holiday music and it has been a lot of fun going through all sorts of songs to find ones that I love and/or fit the story. Not gonna lie -- some songs (Veni, Veni, Emmanuel) are in here simply because they give me chills. Plus, Christmas carols in so many languages are a fantastic way to play with Uhura's professional strength, as well as her canon singing ability.

The songs are embedded as YouTube videos throughout the story. I recommend playing the song when you reach it, since they're designed to set the tone for the segment, to some extent.

It was a bit of a challenge to figure out a way to get everything to fit together neatly. I initially had two ideas that didn't fit together into one story, and each used half of the prompts. This combination came to me during church (shh! I sit in my choir stall and ignore everything when I'm not singing) and I think it ties everything together really well.

One tiny warning -- parts of this are a little dark, fueled I'm sure by my recent and unexpected battle with seasonal depression. But the thing I've learned through all of this is that the light will always come back.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

by ladymac111
for zizi_west

Ma'oz Tzur

As soon as he checked his messages that morning, Spock experienced a moment of childishness and wished he had never agreed to serve under Jim Kirk.

It was nearing the end of December, and that meant that it was what humans called "the holiday season", a time of inefficient frivolity, pointless decorations, and tiresome parties. For weeks already, some of the crew had been preparing to celebrate various observances, and their actions almost seemed to take on a more deliberate nature after he had unofficially scolded them for spending time and resources on these things. Officially, their religions were their own business, and nothing was technically getting in the way of ship's operations.

When he was a child, Spock's mother had insisted that the family celebrate Hanukkah and the Earth new year, and they occasionally visited Spock's grandparents for the season. It hadn't taken Spock long to see how illogical it was to celebrate these things, and the older he got, the more he resisted the pointless traditions of his mother's ancestors and the artificial importance that humans placed on the changing of one number to another in an arbitrary timekeeping system.

Of course, he nevertheless knew that the previous night had been the first of Hanukkah, and had spent his evening stoically ignoring the fact that his mother's absence caused a physical and psychological pain that no amount of meditation or work seemed to be able to assuage. His menorah, candles, and yarmulke were still packed away in a box of materials from his previous life as an instructor at the Academy, and he intended to leave them there -- the mess of emotions they would cause in him would be too much to bear.

The message had been sent to the entire crew, and detailed the festivities that Kirk and a few senior officers had planned. Spock knew he would be unable to avoid two things on the list -- a holiday "scavenger hunt" and the finale party on New Year's Eve, where the winner of the hunt would be announced. As first officer, Kirk was requiring him to participate in these for the sake of morale. While Spock suspected that it was far more likely that Kirk simply wished to indulge in a bit of fun at his expense, he knew it would be unwise to resist. So he didn't.

The next day, he met with Lieutenant Zastrow, his assigned partner for the scavenger hunt. She was young, from Lieutenant Uhura's graduating class, and was a productive but shy member of the science lab staff. She seemed interested in the challenge, but hesitant to show it due to Spock's obvious distaste for it. They agreed to split their list in two and each be responsible for a few items, but they ran into trouble with the last item on the list.

A miracle.

Spock knew that Lt. Zastrow was a practicing Jew, but she explained to him that even modern believers didn't really subscribe to the notions of actual miracles. They finally agreed to both try to think of something that would fit, and returned to their work.

Veni, Veni Emmanuel

The days dragged by. Spock saw very little of Nyota, as she was busy organizing the musical aspect of the upcoming party and spent most of her off-duty hours rehearsing, planning, or collaborating. Spock took his meals alone, exercised alone, and slept alone for the first time in months. To his surprise, he felt lonely, he missed Nyota's presence in his daily activities. He tried once to seek her out, appearing as she was preparing for a choir rehearsal.

"Spock!" She left her keyboard and skipped to his side, briefly sliding her fingers along his. "What's up?"

Through her touch, he felt her hot excitement and warm affection, but surprised himself when he pulled gently away. "I merely wished to see you."

"Are you going to sing with us?"

"No."

"Will you be around this evening? We could do dinner?"

He shook his head. "I am commanding beta shift."

"Okay, well, some other time."

"Some other time."

She touched him again, on the elbow, and he felt her eyes following him as he left the room. From the corridor, he heard her begin the rehearsal with an ancient song in a dead language.

By the time December 31st arrived, "some other time" had not. But Spock and Uhura were on Alpha shift together for the first time in weeks, and at lunch time Spock ate quietly while Uhura and her friends discussed the scavenger hunt. He and Lt. Zastrow had been successful in accumulating the requested items, except for the last one -- and apparently, most of the other teams had struggled with that as well.

After their shift, Uhura declined his invitation to tea. "Spock, I'd love to, but I have so much to do for this evening. You will be there, right? For the party?"

He nodded. "Captain Kirk has made it clear that I am not to decline the invitation."

She smiled. "Great. And please don't come in uniform, okay? It's a chance for us all to relax."

He nodded again, and with a brief squeeze of his fingers, she was off.

Let It Snow

Spock procrastinated as much as he could, and arrived at the party minutes before Kirk stood up on a chair and announced the winners of the scavenger hunt. As it happened, Scotty and Charlene Masters were the only pair to actually complete the list -- everyone else had struggled with the miracle, and Scotty stood up to explain.

"So, bein' an engineer, I know a lot about how a warp drive works. I can build one, I can take it apart, and we know all the physics. And yet, it always seems like a wee bit of magic every time those engines power up and toss us through space faster than light. So" -- he patted the bulkhead -- "our own Enterprise is sort of a miracle."

There was laughter and applause as Scotty and Charlene accepted their prizes -- extra replicator credits -- and Spock searched the crowd for a friendly face to help him pass the time until he could make his escape.

"We did our best, huh?" Lieutenant Zastrow was at his elbow.

"It would seem that this sort of contest requires an unusual level of creative thinking," Spock replied.

Zastrow smirked. "I'm not entirely sure it was creativity, more likely scotch. Mr. Scott loves to wax poetic about ships when he's drinking."

"He has a unique fondness for personification, to be sure."

Lieutenant Zastrow touched his elbow hesitantly. "Well, Chanukah sameach, Commander."

"Chag sameach, Lieutenant."*

She meandered away into the crowd, and Spock leaned against the wall as he struggled to maintain his composure. The party was loud and crowded, but he picked out Nyota across the room, laughing with a group of friends. He watched until she glanced over, and gave him a bright smile and a wave. He responded with a nod, and her face fell slightly as she turned back to the conversation.

Spock sighed. This was clearly going nowhere for him. He had made his appearance, as requested, and could safely retire to his quarters for food he found palatable and time alone to continue trying to meditate away the emptiness that was growing inside him.

Two hours and seventeen minutes later, he heard a large group of people walking down the corridor outside his quarters -- the carolers, he knew, out to "spread cheer" to those working during the party. He closed his eyes and silently begged Nyota to leave him be ... and relaxed as the group passed and the sound diminished into the distance.

Forty-nine minutes later, he was roused by a chime at his door. The carolers again, he thought, slowly rising from his meditation cushion. A sharp reprimand was on the tip of his tongue when the door slid open, revealing only Nyota.

The reprimand vanished, and Spock was left speechless. There was something in her eyes -- wistfulness, sadness, pain of some kind, and his heart thudded at the thought that he was its cause.

She closed her eyes as she inhaled deeply, and began to sing.

Maybe it’s much too early in the game
Ah, but I thought I’d ask you just the same
What are you doing New Year’s
New Year’s Eve?

His hand touched her elbow gently, ushering her inside. The purple satin of her dress made a soft swishing sound as she moved to the center of the dark room and took his hands.

Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight
When it’s exactly twelve o’clock that night
Welcoming in the New Year
New Year’s Eve

He knew this song. Somehow, somewhere, he had learned it. Or was it she who knew? In any case, despite his suddenly dry throat, he sang.

Maybe I’m crazy to suppose
I’d ever be the one you chose
Out of a thousand invitations
You’d receive

Ah, but in case I stand one little chance
Here comes the jackpot question in advance
What are you doing New Year’s
New Year’s Eve?

Her voice joined his as their hands moved slowly, tentatively, over the other's body.

Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight
When it’s exactly twelve o’clock that night
Welcoming in the New Year
New Year’s Eve
What are you doing New Year’s Eve?

Her arms were around his neck, and he yielded willingly to her kiss as he ran his fingertips down her bare back, and explored the hook-and-eye that held the back of the dress together. She smiled, and he felt it both physically and through their touch. She put her palms on the sides of his face, holding him and breathing deeply. And as he unzipped the satin, he felt her mind, her heart, pushing at his, closing the emptiness that had threatened to consume him, filling it with her warmth and love, without a shred of remorse or judgment.

Her dress came off rather easily, as did his meditation robes.

Much later, as they lay tangled up in one another, Spock's mind briefly cleared enough to realize that it was midnight, and he had found a miracle after all.

*(Endnote: the final dialogue between Spock and Zastrow are Hebrew greetings for Hanukkah.)

My best to you all in 2012!

Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma

ladymac111 — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 06:06:14 GMT

If you're friends with me elsewhere (Ravelry or Facebook) you've already seen this, but for my LJ-only friends, here it is:

I have thyroid cancer.

It's a small, early stage papillary carcinoma, which is not aggressive and is very easy to treat, especially in someone my age. It's also the most common type of thyroid cancer, and apparently pathologists see it "like 100 times a day". I knew when we found the nodule that there was a 1/20 chance of it being cancer, but I had myself mostly convinced that it was just a cyst ... nope! But I've been assured that I'm going to be totally fine, because this cancer in people like me gets completely cured with only surgery around 95% of the time.

So what will happen is I'm going to have a near-total thyroidectomy, to remove the tumor and pretty much all of the rest of my thyroid too. While she's in there, the surgeon will probably poke around a little just to check that the cancer didn't get into my lymph nodes. If it did, I might have another surgery, or I might have to do a radio-iodine ablation to kill off all the remaining thyroid cells in my body. However, this seems very unlikely. (Which is actually a little disappointing, because I was sort of looking forward to being radioactive! But it's also good because then I don't have to go on a special diet and be off the hormones and then get quarantined.) I'm not sure how long recovering from the surgery will take (I meet my surgeon on Monday), but if I did radio iodine it would be a few months later, and require two weeks of prep and a week or two of keeping away from people so I don't irradiate them. NOT FUN!

The most likely outcome is that after my surgery, I will be cured! I will have to take thyroid hormone pills for the rest of my life, and I'll have to get checked annually (probably with ultrasound and blood work) to be sure that nothing is re-growing or otherwise acting oddly. Not too bad! People without thyroids live exactly the same sorts of lives as people who have them, with only the addition of one daily pill and an additional doctor appointment every year.

I saw my endocrinologist today and he answered all of my questions (which were plentiful). He can't categorize the stage of my cancer, but it's probably stage 1a, or maaaaaybe 1b. My tumor is egg-shaped and 1.2 cm long, in the right lobe of my thyroid. Since this cancer grows so slowly, he guessed that it's been there for at least five years. It's possible it might not have been found until it was much larger, but depending on the size my prognosis could still be as good as it is right now.

The recommended treatment for me is to remove the entire thyroid except for little bits of tissue, which are left because if you try to get them there's a high risk of damage to the nerves that control your larynx, which you need to talk and, you know, breathe. In some cases (more severe than mine) radioactive iodine treatment is used to kill off the remaining thyroid cells in the neck, and anywhere else the cancer might have spread. This used to be common practice, but he said that new studies are showing that it's not really necessary in a lot of cases.
So anyway, that's essentially what there is to know about my cancer. I am doing fine, and feeling very positive and optimistic. It was tough right after the diagnosis (a phone call on my lunch hour -- IT SUCKED) and Erik is still a little freaked, but we know that everything will be fine, and we're very lucky that I'm insured. Hopefully in just a few months, I'll be able to count myself among the thousands of CURED survivors of papillary thyroid carcinoma!

Star Trek Big Bang: Art for "Q's Gift"

ladymac111 — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:52:30 GMT

Q's Gift by Sarhea

Fic here

Mix (link coming soon!)

Art: A manipulation in the form of a poster or cover. As always, click to embiggen!

Also on DeviantArt. (link coming soon!)

corgis + star trek = squee!!!

ladymac111 — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:50:30 GMT

from corgisdressedasthings.tumblr.com

This COMPLETELY made my day. And the tumblr is absolutely full of win.

Cymbalta, day 1

ladymac111 — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 02:59:07 GMT

So I went to my psych yesterday, and we decided to start me on Cymbalta to help with the generalized anxiety and the seasonal depression that has been starting to appear again. Our biggest worry with it was the most common side effect, nausea, since I already have a very sensitive stomach.

It didn't help that today was a bit of an odd food day for me (slept in really late, just sort of snacked, late dinner). I ate leftover chow mein for "breakfast" at about noon and then took the pill (20 mg to start). I also took double my normal dose of Protonix to prevent additional upset. I did very well all afternoon, but I started feeling pretty sick at about 6 when I left the bead store to meet Erik and get burgers. I was a little afraid that this was the Cymbalta's fault (six hours later?), but I decided to act like it was just because I was too hungry and a little bit nervous about the drug too. I'm pretty sure I was right, because I took my time eating dinner (one bite, 10 minutes, another bite, ten minutes, finish the half a burger slowly, wait 30 minutes, finish the other half of the burger). I also had a xanax before I ate which has helped my nervousness about feeling sick, which I know exacerbates it considerably.

So in the end, I'm not sure that I had a side effect at all today! I'll be sure to carry food with me tomorrow and be good, and if I'm lucky I can move up to 30mg on Monday or Tuesday. If things keep going this way, I'll probably be up to my full 60mg before I go back to my therapist in two weeks.

Stomach, thank you. Serotonin and norepinepherine, you're next.

EDITED 12/8/11:
I was indeed up to 30mg on Monday, and then on Wednesday the side effects hit, maybe because of some food schedule oddness that upset my stomach -- and it STAYED upset for FOUR MISERABLE DAYS until I stopped taking the drug, and then right away went back to normal. So, uh, no Cymbalta for me, any more. I'm now taking Xanax XR at the lowest dose, twice daily, and we'll think about trying something else (maybe Remeron?) but that will probably wait until after my cancer treatment is done.

Star Trek Big Bang: Art for "The Gardens of the Desert"

ladymac111 — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 18:59:34 GMT

The Gardens of the Desert by Lindmere and Merisunshine63

Fic master post at STBB
I can't recommend this story highly enough. It is AMAZING.

Mix (link coming soon!)

Art: A portrait of the family. As always, click to embiggen! (This one is VERY LARGE)

Also on DeviantArt. (link coming soon!)

Writer's Block: Paging Al Gore

ladymac111 — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 02:16:43 GMT

I don't think I could give up the Internet for ANY amount of money. What would I do with the money if I didn't have the Internet? Plus I wouldn't have any friends. I keep in touch with the people I know via Facebook and LJ, and a lot of my friends are online-only. Plus, I wouldn't be able to decide what to knit!

No amount of money is worth the mental breakdown that losing the Internet would bring... I imagine lots of other people said the same thing!

Classic Trek Big Bang - art for "Shards and Fairy Tales" by Oparu

ladymac111 — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 21:08:15 GMT

Shards and Fairy Tales by oparu oparu

The High Inquisitor with her newest pet...

As always, click to embiggen!

My apologies for how long this took. I've been busy, and my scanner still isn't cooperating. But I loved this story, and I had a great time doing art for it!

on meditation

ladymac111 — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 04:04:34 GMT

I had a bit of a breakthrough in meditation class today at the Y.

When I arrived for class, I was really worked up because my stomach was upset, and I was having a very difficult time calming down. Before we started, I laid down and took a couple minutes to slip into a light trance. My right hand wanted to be the floaty one today, and it did it without me even really trying, which was cool. I couldn't hold on to the floating feeling very well, but it helped a lot when we started class. I wasn't totally calm, but I was feeling better and it was much more conducive to quiet mindfulness.

This leads to my breakthrough. Daniel talked today about how our breath is "home", and it occurred to me that the wonderful feeling of being alive and full of breath is something that I always carry with me. No matter where I go, no matter what's happening, I can always go home to that sensation of breath and mindfulness. I feel like this is going to be a big help in managing my stress in the future.

I also felt more present and relaxed today than I ever have before. I really want to remember what that felt like, because it will make it easier to go back there when I need to.

Star Trek : Grey Instructor Uniform

ladymac111 — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 18:02:55 GMT

All right! People have asked, and here it is: How I made my grey Starfleet instructor uniform, based on this one:

I made a female version, with a knee-length pencil skirt. It's slightly different than what's seen in the movie, but it's made from commercially available patterns with only minor modifications.

Notes under the cut!

(Picture of me in the uniform coming soon - Saturday, I hope)

Patterns used:

Jacket: McCall's M6171, view B (lower right)

Skirt: Butterick B5566, view E (center right)

Fabric and notions:

I was really lucky, and bought several yards of grey wool from magickalmolly for a really great price. In addition, I needed lining fabric for the jacket (I chose just black), interfacing, the jacket needed a long separating zipper (more on that in modifications), and the skirt needed a 7" zipper and hook and eye.

Modifications:

Jacket:

I lengthened the jacket significantly, about four inches. This meant that I also needed to add gussets on the sides to accommodate my hips, which was a pretty tricky procedure. If I had a dress form it would have been easier. As it was, I basically just pinned it on me and made it work. I recommend either having a dress form or a good friend for this part, or altering the pattern pieces when you cut them out. Because it was all pretty hacked together, in the end I also did a dart up the center back (to about the bust line) to make the waist fit better.

The additional length of the jacket also required a longer zipper than the pattern called for. I got one that is silver-colored metal on black tape. Cool!

The sleeve caps ended up kind of poofy. I'm not sure exactly how that happened, but there it is. It's not authentic, but I think it looks fine on me.

My jacket also suffered a very unfortunate setback during the final pressing. There was some schmutz on my iron that scorched a hole in the edge collar and in the right side front. For the collar, I just folded it down on the topstitching and did another pass to hold it down, which means that my collar is about 5/8" shorter than in the pattern, but I think it works better for me that way because it was sort of too tall before.

For the hole in the side front, instead of replacing the piece and having to undo and redo all the seams it was part of, I made a couple of pockets, as shown:

If you click to embiggen and squint, you can sort of see them.

Everybody needs pockets, right? I traced over the finished jacket to get the right shape, then added seam allowances. I topstitched on the machine first, and hand-stitched the edges so they would be hidden. Then I added a couple of snaps to hold the pockets shut, because otherwise they tended to bulge out and add bulk at the waist.

Skirt:

I didn't actually have to make any modifications to the skirt! I thought I might, since the largest size was a 34" waist, and mine is 36" on a good day. But it turns out that not only was it not too small, it was actually sort of too big. It fits down on my hips where I like, which is nice, but not what I thought would happen. This means that the hip part of the skirt is sort of baggy, but it's roomy and comfortable. Erik's parents were visiting while I was finishing the skirt, so his mom helped me hem it to mid-knee.

Badge:

I don't have a plain badge, so I just wear my Sciences one. Suck it, haters!

Boots:

My boots are Tsubo Baco, which I got from endless.com (affiliated with Amazon) for about $100. They run a half size small and are a little snug on my 16" calves, but are VERY comfortable (there's an elastic panel in the back) and very authentic-looking. All I did to the boots was to waterproof them so I can wear them in the rain without hurting the leather. Hopefully the leather will stretch a little as well, and they'll turn into the best-fitting boots EVER.

Finishing Touches

I bought a Kindle recently, and boy, does it make me feel like Star Trek! I want to stand somewhere and look official with it and say "Cadet Kirk isn't cleared for duty."

In conclusion:

The skirt was pretty easy, and the jacket was a bit more complex, especially with the shaping modifications I needed to make and to make up for my stupid mistake of stupidness. Overall, though I count it a success! And I can wear all the pieces individually and not look like a costume, should I so choose.

Classic Trek Big Bang - art for "Times Change" by LovelyZelda

ladymac111 — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 22:48:40 GMT

Times Change by lovelyzelda

More art (link coming soon)

Wallpapers below the cut

Widescreen 16:9

keep clicking to embiggen and download

Regular 5:4

keep clicking to embiggen and download.

Classic Trek Big Bang - art for "Hard Won" by Skeelojoe

ladymac111 — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 21:46:04 GMT

Hard Won by skeelojoe

Other Art by another artist (link coming soon)

Captain Janeway -- Bring Me That Horizon

Click to embiggen!

Media:
Copic, Prismacolor, and Utrecht markers
PaintShopPro8

Also on DeviantArt

10-day YOU challenge: day 10!

ladymac111 — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 23:57:17 GMT

Ten Secrets

All right, I'm not sure if I even really have ten secrets that I'm willing to share! So some of these will be secrets that some of you know, but that I'm keeping from other people.

1. I'm bisexual

Yes, I'm in a committed, monogamous, and to all appearances, straight, relationship with a man. In college, though, I started realizing that I'm also attracted to women, though not as much. If I ever find myself single in the future (Bob forbid!) I would consider women and men as potential dates. In reality, mostly all this means is that I enjoy looking at hot, unobtainable women as well as hot, unobtainable men.

2. I don't believe in a god

Not only that, but I'm an atheist who likes church. Ha!

I'm also the kind of atheist who only has a problem with religion when it's mean to people. I don't really care what people believe. Live and let live, right? At the same time, it makes me sort of happy that religion is dying in the western world. Skeptics!

3. I know something about about ZQ's sexuality

I once had dinner with someone whose (male) friend made out with him at a party. So.

(I feel kind of bad for putting this on the internet, but when you are ZQ and you make out with people at parties, other people hear about it!)

4. I sort of like Twilight

I read all the books, not only so that I could feel justified in mocking them, but because I really wanted to know what happened next. I thought the first movie (the only one I've seen) was terrible, though.

The story had promise. It was poorly executed, and Bella is a terrible protagonist, but there were some really good ideas in the story.

5. I like Enya

And I refuse to apologize for it.

6. I've written fanfic that I will never publish

Mostly because it's incredibly personal, and I feel awkward sharing that much of myself with the internet.

7. I don't like roses

So this is where we transition from "secrets" to "random facts".

I think roses are overrated. Carnations all the way!

8. I love The Simpsons and hate Family Guy

The Simpsons pretty much always makes me laugh. I find Family Guy unfunny, gross, and offensive.

9. I don't enjoy porn

Erotic literature? Love it! Pictures of sexy people? Mmmmm :)

Porno? Grosses me out. I don't find it at all sexy. I have no problem with other people enjoying it, but I don't want any. It could be that I have yet to find one that I like, but honestly, I don't feel like it's missing from my life.

10. I don't care that I don't have 10 secrets.
So there.