KSena's Journal

Update on life... My birthday, big organization of our home, and vacation things...

kseenaa — Tue, 31 Jul 2018 00:30:21 GMT

Let's continue with where I left off. With my birthday. Or should I say... the day before my birthday.

Since earlier me, my MIL, my mom and my brother planned a HUGE clean-out off our storage. (All swedish apartments come with at least one storage in the basement.) We decided to clean out both the small one and the bigger one.

None of these storages have been cleaned out since Mr P took over this apartment from his mom. So you can imagine how full they were. The big one, that is like a room, a moderately small room. You couldn't walk into said storage, it was so packed full of stuff.

Now Mr P he is one of those people that say things like: "Let's take care of that later." "Let's put it in the storage for now, and deal with it later." Thing is... that 'later' never happens. Instead our storage just got fuller and fuller and messier and messier. And I couldn't stand it, so I arranged this huge clean-out.

That I wanted my brother there is that he has a calming effect on Mr P. Mr P has a very short temper when it comes to things like this. Not violent, but he gets very angry, annoyed, irritated and such... Usually over dumb things, or small things.

Gladly it went really fast! Mr P and my lovely brother took care of the bigger storage, and they were fast as fuck! We'd rented a small truck, so they drove that back and forth to the waste disposal site and the charity. Me and my best friend Ylletyg took care of the smaller storage, trying to be just as fast. We also bought two storage shelves that we put in the bigger storage so we could get some order to the stuff we decided to keep. Which was not much.

Meanwhile my mom and my MIL took care of Alexandra, amusing her. And made sure there was food, FIKA and coffee plus tea for us that worked. :-)

Once we were done, our storages were probably the most ordered storages in the house. :-D SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS!!!

Day after that, it was my 41st birthday. We took it very easy. Just took the last stuff to charity. Went out to eat lunch at our favorite FIKA-place. Was REALLY nice! And then we visited my MIL, she's awesome so that was also really nice!

Then we went home and just took it really easy. :-) Perfect birthday!

After that, I got REALLY inspired by our success. So I did a huge clean-out of our walk in closet as well. It's not a big walk in closet, actually quite small. Just big enough for mine and Mr P's clothes. And towels, sheets and such. Sounds big? Trust me, it's not. With all the things in there on shelves and stuff, you can only be one person in there at a time.

Add to that all the stuff that Mr P figured we could "take care of later". Yeah, there were so much stuff like that in there to, you couldn't see the floor. I rest my case. :-/ But I managed to clean that place out to! ALONE!!! AND got Mr P to clean out all his old disgusting T-shirts as well! AWESOME!!! So that place is in order to!

Day after that, I cleaned out a small closet as well. It was supposed to be a closet for coats, jackets and such. But… There were SO MUCH STUFF shoved in there that had been in there since Mr P moved in after his mother. :-/ Now we can actually use it for what it’s meant to. For coats and such. Which means…. I could organize our hatrack where you put hats, coats and such when you walk in the hallway.

Fuck yeah! Inspired much? You bet!

So today, I’ve organized and cleaned out some more! Me and Mr P has a shared desk in the living room with our two computers. It’s our nerdcorner. (See below at my current location…) There’s quite a few desk drawers in it, and they were full of just… stuff. So today I cleaned out and organized those to. :-)

Of course, we’ve done other things as well.

In between the cleanin out and organizing, we’ve been on a mini-vacation trip to Kolmården for two days. :-) It was Alexandra's wish to go there, since they have a small amusement park in the middle totally based around the swedish comic and cartoon character Bamse. Alexandra loves Bamse, she has a subscription on the comic, so it does end up in the mail now and then. And she has ALL the cartoons as well. :-) It’s a very very swedish comic, and has been around for so so many years. So I think the part of the park with Bamse was her favorite. My favorite was to see the birds of prey show they had and also the dolphin show they had. I’ve been there a few times as a kid, but it was sooooo different now. :-)

Anyhow, we had a GREAT time while there, even though our feet and legs were very tired. (I tracked how many steps we walked with the pedometer in my phone, and in two days we took about 23000 steps or more… o.O)

It did rain A LOT for some of the first day, but it wasn’t cold so with umbrellas, we had a good time still.

Rain is desperately needed all over Sweden. And well, all over Scandinavia, to be honest. We have a terrible drought right now. There’s wild forest fires in so many places here, it’s crazy. Not close to us, gladly. Mostly in the north of Sweden, past the polar circle (!). Not joking. There’s huge big forests there, and since they are so dry, well…

The king of Sweden, His Royal Highness Carl XVI Gustav was there encouraging the fireworkers the other day. They seem to have most of the fires mostly under control now, but yeah… It’s been somewhat insane.

Anyhow, between all this and a trip to Gothenburg and Universeum (which really is not built for people with a fear of heights… Poor Mr P…), I’ve kept busy. In a good way.

Mr P told me sternly that you’re supposed to relax as well during your vacation, meaning I’m too focused on organizing and cleaning out things. Well, I’m relaxing as well. Promise. :-) I did today, when Mr P took Alexandra with him to the zoo, so I had the whole place for myself for a couple of hours. Bliss!

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Update on life and such! Midsummer + Fallout LARP

kseenaa — Sun, 22 Jul 2018 22:48:08 GMT

Gawd, even though I've wanted to update her for ever, but either I haven't had the energy or I haven't known how to start.

Anyway, if you want a current update on what is going on in my life, you can always check my Instagram at anytime! :-) I'm really active there. It has ended up my favorite social media.

OK, so as updates go. Let's start with Midsummer. If you've read my thoughts for a while, you'll know I always end up with some serious Midsummer-blues. Since my dear Mr P / peting77 always go to his so called friend a bit further north in Sweden. Anyway, since he got divorced since last year, he stopped calling Mr P totally (he's called less and less over the years), and so Mr P was with us this year! AMAZING! And helped somewhat with my Midsummer blues. :-)

So we ended up going to moms all of us, which was nice since mom had promised to with her gentleman caller this year. So we had moms house to ourselves. Felt weird, but was OK. :-) We went to a traditional midsummer celebration with all the trimmings, then we went to a neighbouring city I used to go to during Midsummer. But things do change in 30 or so years. So everything was closed. X-D Back to mom's house for some traditional midsummer food. *LOL*

We spent a couple of more days at moms just being lazy and enjoying my moms company when she came back from her gentleman caller. Was really nice, and I hope we can do it again next year!

So that was Midsummer, for once a good experience! Very happy about that!

The weekend after Midsummer the Fallout LARP I go to each summer. Usually it's arranged mid to end of July but this year it ended up being arranged end of June! Which surprised me. But I still got the go ahead from Mr P that it was OK, so off I went.

Counting on my fingers I figured out it was the 9th year this year! 9 YEARS!!! Insane! And I've played the same character each year!!!

Preavious years a lot has happened to her story wise, but not this year. Which was FINE! You can wish for an active or inactive plot when you sign up, and previous years I've always wished for an active one, which means a lot of actions and stuff, but this year I asked for an inactive plot since I just wanted to enjoy myself.

And I succeded in my goal!

My character Katya Hollander still has the trading post in the village / settlement of Bockaby, making her one of the wealthiest once. Although this year I kept the prices pretty low and I was open for haggling, just for fun. :-)

Worked great! I needed a lot of temporary guards for the trading post, since for whatever reason I always get a tiny bladder on that LARP. X-D Which is good, since that means I get caps (in game money) going in the LARP economy.

Other than that I mostly sat and talked to the mom in the family that always brings her kids there. She's done that every year, which I wouldn't do with Alexandra. Alexandra doesn't like big bangs or doesn't quite get this with pretending to be someone else. Not yet at least. If she wants to when she's older, she can come. :-)

These kids though have always acted very oddly, and even though the older son is way past diaper age, still wears diapers. None of them talk but makes... noises.

This year I had some of Alexandras old baby toys with me, and those kids LOVED them, so they hung out a lot at the trading post.

And I found out those two kids have an extremly rare genetic condition that effects the brain. And said condition will eventually kill them, quite early. Three kids, the two oldest have this condition. Since the parents have a latent gene that combined will give this. Talk about unluck! So their youngest they did an IVF with donated sperm, and that little girl is perfectly normal.

Sad, right? But they still try to give the best to said kids, hence they take them with them everywhere, and they behaved really well, despite not being able to talk.

I gave all off Alexandras baby toys to them kids when I packed up after the LARP. I think them kids desvere it, and it made them happy. :-)

Hopefully all three of them will come next year to. Fingers crossed.

Right, this is long enough. I'll make another post about my birthday and our little vacation-trip to Kolmården. :-)

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

End of this school term, Netflix and books...

kseenaa — Sat, 16 Jun 2018 00:36:45 GMT

The school term has ended. No more kids at school until 15 of August. I'm FREE!!! And so are the kids and teens. :-)

Well, I will work for a bit more. Not full weeks, since well... Midsummer and then LARP. :-)

The teens, kids and the teachers and staff have returned SO MANY BOOKS, that they can't really fit in the shelf. It's good though. Last year there were so many many books that were never returned. I lost so many. This year things look much better. AND the statistics for how many books are loaned every month looks SO MUCH BETTER! I mean, I think it was March or April that the loans even doubled compared to last year. So I'm... pretty proud of myself for getting more kids and teens to read. Go me, right?

So, what am I doing when not working? Netflix and chill. *LOL*

Well, more of a Netflix and everything else. Checking my social media and LJ/DW. I really should have two screens, but as it is, I've gotten used to split my screen, so to speak.

I've also read a bit. I know orangerful keeps posting what books and stuff she's been reading, so I guess I can to. At least after I've finished them. :-) So unlike her I'll just... post when I've finished something.

I've read a series of books by the writer Kristina Appelqvist. They're whodunit crime novels like Agatha Christie wrote. They remind me of her books. And the fun part with them? Is they take place in the little small town and the little villages and communities around where I grew up. So I knew EXACTLY where all the action takes place. Which made them fun to read. :-) Very swedish, and I think they only exist in swedish, but if you know swedish, you should read them.

Then I stumbled upon this graphic novel about Jeffrey Dahmer. I don't think he needs any future introduction. And to make a graphic novel about such a monstrous man, is... interesting. And brilliant. Because this is BEFORE he ended up doing those monstrous deeds. When he was a young teen. And had friends. Sorta anyway. Such a take was... very interesting. And the drawings fit the story perfectly.

That I picked it up is probably because my interest in true crime. And I think it was because I'd listened to an episode about Jeffrey Dahmer on the podcast My Favorite Murder...

Then I read this. One of the most talked about books, right? Donald Trump and his presidency is like a trainwreck syndrome. I can not stop reading. Can not stop watching. And when I knew it was getting closer to the next time I was up to talk on the radio about a book, and I saw this book... And that it was available, I figured why not? It was easier to read then I expected, although there was SO MANY names to keep track off! That was the only thing that was a bit hard with it. You like me and you can't stop reading up on Trump... Then you should read this facepalm-inducing book...

And thus endeth my post today. :-) Tomorrow we'll prepare an early birthday party for Alexandra. And on Sunday... she'll have her best friends come over for cake and kid-party.

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Social media, beloved Mr P and Midsummer Blues...

kseenaa — Sat, 09 Jun 2018 23:22:48 GMT

Sometimes... sometimes you need to take a bit of a step back, right? I did that the other day on social media. On LJ and DW I've done several clean ups, so it wasn't needed here. But on Twitter and Instagram, it was getting a bit ridiculous. I was following way to many accounts/people, so I had to do a serious clean up.

I mean, online stuff and social media should be for fun, right? Well, combined with the stress of work and everything else, it just added to the stress. So hence the clean up.

Work is really stressful at the end of the school term. Last day of school is on the 15th of June next week. And this whole month or a bit more actually, has been SO hectic with everything that I need to do with the kids and teens at the school. Classes I need to hold and information I need to spread. I have made it, if just, but I did. I am getting WAY way better at planning than I was when I started this work. And I feel more confidant in my role as a school librarian to, which I think has a thing to do with it to. I dare more to demand things and push more for activities I need to do. You know?

It helps, of course, that I've been allowed to go to TWO educations on the University here that my employment payed for. And it was during working hours (sort of), so that was cool!

At home it's been a bit much to, so this term I have gone down to work 7 hours a day instead of 8. It has done WONDERS for both me and Alexandra to be honest. It's just one hour a day, so it doesn't effect my paycheck that much, but it does make sure I feel less stressed and less guilty each day. :-) Win-win!

Also, it's that time of year to. The dreaded Midsummer time.

For those that have been around a while, I dread Midsummer each year. Last time I was so down I am sure I showed quite a few signs of depression.

My beloved Mr P, or peting73, has a friend who USED TO BE his best friend that he goes to visit during Midsummer each year. To him and his friend Midsummer is no big deal. It's just a few days extra off work and a reason to have a small party. So that's what they've been doing ever since I got to know them. Even after he got married and moved 8 hours away from here.

His wife was... special to say the least. I don't use the word lightly, but hysteric is a word that would actually fit her. I've visited there a few times. Last time was when Alexandra was a year. I was not doing good during that visit, let me tell you. Even worse than last year. After that, Mr P went all by himself.

But that meant, he wasn't with us. No big deal, to him. But big deal to me. Because when I grew up Midsummer was a family thing. My aunt has always and still do have this HUGE Midsummer Party the day before Midsummer Eve. Where ALL of my huge crazy extended family go to. These days were about 25-30 people there. (Including spouses and kids.) And when I grew up on Midsummer Eve, we had a smaller gathering at home. And on Midsummer Day the family went to a traditional feast area to dance and hang out.

All family things. Mr P didn't do anything like that, and I guess is not used to it. But him not being with us has effected Midsummer badly for me.

This year though, his friend, who really hasn't acted like a friend ever since he got married to that woman all those years ago, hasn't talked to him all this year. Last year I think he called twice. On his own birthday and then once more to invite Mr P to come for Midsummer. This year he did neither. Probably since he's gotten divorced and has no area to be at for any Midsummer party.

I'm sad for Mr P, he has last what he thought was his best friend. I can't help but feel happy though, because that means he'll be spending time with us. And I need that, I think. I need that very much.

We've been together since 2003 now. And sure, we've had our ups and downs. None of us are perfect. But dammit, he is mine and I am his. And want to be with him and kiddo when there's holidays and shit.

*sigh*

I guess some of the Midsummer blues has set in. :-P Even if I do look forward to it to. I'll get to visit mom, spend some really good time with her, and I do svery much look forward to that. She has retired now, 65 years old, and has taken on the project of clearing out stuff from her house. I'm actually curious to so what she's done!

Anyhow. Over and out! We'll see when I poke my head in here again. :-) Hopefully it won't take quite as long until next time. I do feel better after writing this!

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Work being busy and RIP to two HUGELY iconic swedish musicians...

kseenaa — Sat, 21 Apr 2018 00:00:05 GMT

Oh hum… Things have been… busy. To say the least. Because we’re nearing the end of the school term. And that means my work-load goes a bit insane. Phew.

Unlike other years though, I’m actually pretty on top of things. I’ve gotten better at planning. Planning is EVERYTHING!!! Seriously, it’s given me peace of mind on a whole other level unlike previous few years I’ve been working here. I hope I continue being better and better at planning.

And won’t break my leg next year when winter returns… again… *crosses fingers*

Finally though the spring has arrived! I mean, it’s almost summer already. It was SO WARM today! So yeah, I’ll try not to worry about breaking legs in a while again…

This spring though Sweden lost two HUGE icons in the swedish music industry. No, seriously. Musicians of all ages agree that the influence on swedish music from these two is impossible to say. There’s a reason they’re called icons.

I for one have just taken their music and presence for granted, so I was a bit shocked when I heard they’d died. I’ve listened to their music so much lately, and I will admit to miss them dearly. I really did love their music, and it’s very typical swedish. Music I’ve grown up with. Their music have been a constant background to my life.

First Jerry Williams died 25th of March. He made rockabilly music that made me smile. And he had one hell of a presence of stage. It didn’t matter what age you were, everyone loved watching him on stage. It's impossible to sit still when playing his music. A fan of Elvis, he did get to meet him once when Jerry was young (according to his autobiography that I’ve read). Even though old, Jerry could not get enough of being on stage. Even if he did slow down after he’d turned 70. Instead he focused on health and exercise, giving out a book about exercising as an elderly. He was in great shape! However, cancer in his back (I think the spine) got him in the end, despite him being in great shape. RIP Jerry Williams…

Here’s some of his greatest hits, and my favorites to.

I can Jive (2012 when Jerry was 70 years of age)

Did I telly you (2016 when Jerry was 73 years old)

You can never tell (2014, Jerry was 71 years old) at the Polar prize Ceremony...

And then on the 3rd of April… Lill-Babs died. If she wasn’t an icon, no one is. An icon and one of the most hardworking artists I’ve heard off. She worked. Constantly. From the age of 15 years old until she died at the age of 80. She was planning yet another tour then!!! And was still working with various musicians! Lill-Babs played A LOT around the swedish folkparks = the people's parks. Recreation areas where there was a stage for artists to perform. (Not many of them left these days.) She’s said herself in interviews that she could sometimes perform in 3 or 4 of these places a day, helping to pack and travel in between each performance. She was very hard working. While also having three daughters. They claim she was a very loving and warm mother, even though she was away a lot. And also a bit crazy, since she could just NOT relax. She ADORED her fans though. And always took time to talk to each and everyone. Not to mention she was a very close friend to Quincy Jones. To the point of even contemplating marriage, but they didn't want to ruin the deep friendship they had, so they stayed close close friends. He wrote music for her at times. Interesting note, she was infamous for always wearing insanely high heels, which she did until her death. She had a thing for shoes… She died from a combination of cancer and heart failure... RIP Barbro Lill-Babs Svensson…

Here’s two really awesome vids with some of my favorite music with her. She was AMAZING!!!

Lill-Babs (in all black) performing a medley with her friends Siw Malmkvist and Ann-Louise Hansson Summer 2017 (Lill-Babs is 80 years old!)

Her greatest hit, Leva livet (=Live your life!) TV-show 2009 (Lill-Babs is 71 years old!)

You were both so so so loved and respected by colleagues, fans, the swedish people, the international music industry... You are both so so so missed. Rest in peace Jerry and Barbro...

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

My body is dumb.

kseenaa — Thu, 05 Apr 2018 21:10:59 GMT

Feeling loads better. I still sound weird when I breath, but I don't feel like I have to work for every breath anymore. YAY! I can actually breath properly! And without taking much meds.

I did go out on an errand today to pick up some meds, just to see how my breathing works outside. And it worked moderately well.

So, I decided to go to work tomorrow. And Mr P is kind enough to drive both Alexandra to daycare and me to work, so YAY! That will help enormously to make sure my breathing keeps behaving. :-)

It's interesting with me getting colds before I was pregnancy and after my pregnancy...

Before my pregnancy I got a cold, my nose was stuffed for a day or two, and then I got a HORRIBLY cough that would last a week... or more. And then that was it.

Then I got pregnant with Alexandra and my body got NUTS!!!

Not only did it decide that I should be sensitive/lightly allergic to... animals. AKA, my cats. YOU KIDDING!?!??!?!? I've been living with cats my ENTIRE LIFE!!! Anyhow, my own cats I can stand well, so that is good.

AND! When I get a cold it follows the same pattern as before. Stuffy nose a day ro two. Then a HORRIBLE cough. With an added bonus. I have a hrad time getting a proper breath and I rattle and wheeze with EVERY breath I take. Loudly. Fun. I varies how long this lasts. The cough lasts longer these days though. *sigh*

This time that rattling and wheezing has lasted long. Since Monday, actually. It's still there, but not as much. It was REALLY bad Tusday and yesterday. And I had such a trouble taking a good breath to. It was long ago it was this bad, to be honest. I woke up two nights in a row from coughing and wheezing. *SIGH*

Now though I 'just' have the cough and a bit of an ache in my troath. It doesn't rattle and wheeze that bad anymore. Mr P can't hear it that well now. He could before. Clearly.

Anyway. Work tomorrow. We'll see how it goes. :-)

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

I'm sick... And Snowflake Challenge Day 11-15!

kseenaa — Wed, 04 Apr 2018 12:03:51 GMT

I am home sick today. Ugh. Every time I get sick, in having a cold, it effects my throat. Everytime. I sound like shit (if you follow me on Instagram/Snapchat you've heard my horrible voice.) It started on Sunday when we were at my cousin and mom. And then it just got worse and worse... :-P Monday and yesterday was really really bad. I was really short of breath and it... "whistled"... when I was breathing? And it was hard to breath. Not to the point I felt a need to go to the ER, but it was still not very fun. And I was coughing. SO MUCH! So now my ribs ache. :-P And I had a fever. Because why not. It's a good thing the kids/teens are off school this week what with Easter, or I would have felt horribly guilty as well. Bah. But as it is, no school this week so I can be at home and get well in peace.

Yesterday though I'd taken a day off and had planned to go shopping with Alexandra. And we did! But man, my breathing was so bad when we came home I had to sit down and focus on my breathing for a moment when we came home. After that though, I've just taken it easy. Taking care of me. I know I'm bad at that. But I get when I'm beaten by germ. *raises fist at fucking germs*

Anyway, since I'm home anyway, I'll just finish off this challenge that I started. I'm late as all hell, but I WILL FINISH IT DAMMIT!!!

♥ Day 1 ♥ Day 2 ♥ Day 3 ♥ Day 4 ♥ Day 5 ♥ Day 6 ♥ Day 7 ♥ Day 8 ♥ Day 9 ♥ Day 10 ♥ Day 11 ♥ Day 12 ♥ Day 13 ♥ Day 14 ♥ Day 15 ♥

Day 11

Share a book/song/movie/tv show/fanwork/etc that changed your life

Oh dear... This is a hard one to answer, since I've been around for quite a lot of years. *LOL* Old farts unite! I'm allowed to call myself that when I'm 40, right? ;-)

Anyway, well... If I go to books I've reread the most, I'd say there's a few series that kind of changed my mind. That I can say opened my mind and set my imagination on fire when I was young.

First off there's CS Lews Narnia series. It was the first fantasy-series I read, and it was very much an AHA-moment for me when I read them. I was... 11-12 when I read them the first time, I think. And when I reread them today, I still enjoy them (although I see the issues today to... Because there are quite a few.)

Then there's The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien. NOT The Ring Trilogy, actually. To be quite honest, I think they're boring. But The Hobbit I love! Same thing there, it just again showed the width of the imagination for me.

And then there's all the comics I've read through the years.

Donald Duck and C/O is the first comic I ever got a subscription on when I was 6 years old. I'm still subscribed to it. Get a comic in the mail once a week. I can't imagine a Friday without it, to be honest. :-)

And then there's Elfquest. I found the first two issues in a corner in the public library, broken and worn, but they spoke to me and I could NOT get enough of them! They stopped publishing them in swedish, but I now have nearly everything published in english. I don't know what it is with that comic, but I can not get enough of it. When I was young I saw one thing when reading it and as an adult another. Pretty incredible.

When it comes to movies and TV-show, the first one that really knocked me out was... Xena The WarriorPrincess. I do remember that there was two things with Xena. One: There's a woman that's far tougher than any man! And Two: She was the bad guy first!

Then there's Buffy, and it's the same thing there. A bad ass WOMAN in the lead. And vampires. Which I've always had a thing for. Just like with the others it was one of those AHA-moments.

I think all off these gave me AHA-moments. I could go on, I suppose, but these are the main ones. :-)

Day 12

In your own space, create a fanwork. Make a podfic, an icon, a sketch, a meta, or a rec list. Arts and crafts. Cross stitch. Draft an essay about a particular medium. Put together a picspam or a fanmix. Write a review of book you love, a ship manifesto, a you-should-be-listening-to-this-band essay. Create something.

I'm not a contributer to fandoms, so I don't have anything in particular. I just read, watch and listen. :-P But I do try to comment all the things that I do enjoy. Especially fanfic, for some reason. And fanart. Because that's people that write/draw something they are passionate about, and they should know there are more people that are passionate about the same thing.

I did create a list about my favorite YouTube channels once, I guess that's as close to something I've done. :-P

Day 13

In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private.

My goal is to just do what makes me happy. If you're in a fandom, or a fan of something/someone that does not make you happy, then why do you do it? So yeah. I'm not going to force it. I'm always so tired after work anyway, so I don't even have energy to talk to friends. So why should I do/read/watch anything that just makes me sad or upset me? I mean, really? My time is worth more than that.

Day 14

In your own space, create your own challenge. Whatever your challenge is, and have fun with it!

My challenge to any writer and/or artist is to write/draw a character that is the least popular in your fandom. Try it. Maybe you end up like it.

Challenge for me is to be more social. To dare to be online and talk to people again. And not be ashamed if I end up zoning out. It's fine to do that, even if whoever I talk to have to remind me of their existence. I'm a 40 year old mom working full time. I'm allowed to zone out in the evenings.

Day 15

In your own space, write a love letter to Fandom in general, to a particular fandom, to a trope, a relationship, a character, or to your flist/circle/followers. Share your love and squee as loud as you want to.

Dear fandom,

Without you I would not have discovered so many things about myself. Without you I would have been so lonely. Without you I would not be who I am today. Without you I would not have so many friends for life. And for all that and more, I will be eternally grateful.

Yours truly
// KSena

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Work, work... Not that kind of orc...

kseenaa — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 23:03:51 GMT

Oh hummm.... Let's see.

I've been working my ass off. As per usual. Sometimes it feels as if someone has to for these teens.

I did listen in on a conversation with one of our teens, 15 years old in 9th grade, who is already heavy into crime and drugs. Our headmaster was hanging out with him and his friends, also more or less criminal.

Our headmaster had read an letter in the newspaper that he told the boys about (they are boys, no matter what they say or how they act). It was a sister that had written to the newsletter about her brother that had died from an overdose of drugs.

Now these teen boys, we know they are 'runners'. They deliever and sell for the older gang members in the area.

The boy I was thinking off, he got upset with the headmaster for talking about, claiming that the dead brother hadn't known what he was doing, because the drugs he was using were safe.... And that anyone not living in the area is just there to fuck with those living there, and that we all look down on them.

Yep, so that's how the view is in the area where I work. *sigh* For the record I REALLY don't look down on the people living in areas like these. We have two areas in this town that are high in crime and honour-shame culture and many many refugee families.

Me? I'm just trying to do my best at the school, buying and spreading books to try and open their eyes as good as I can.

Don't know why I'm writing this, but as always I'm just writing down what's running through my head.

It's been very calm in the school library lately. It usually isn't, put it that way. It's a place to hang for these kids. They find a comfortable couch, they will sit and and talk and... chill, as they say. "We just want to chill a bit."

Yeah well, when they chill... they end up LOUD. And I have a ceiling that's three stories high, so... you can imagine how it sounds like.

And then there's some issues in the family to, but since I have some of said family reading here, I'll make one of my extremly rare locked posts about that. Because I need to get it out.

Maybe that's why I made this post? Because I needed to just... write down my thoughts. *shrug*

For the record, nothing has ever happened to me there, and I've worked evenings in the regular library in the area. It's like the gangs are mostly fighting each other.

Oh well.

It's the Easter Holidays, so I'll have plenty days off. Even took one extra day off. Meaning I'll have plenty days off to write that post that I feel a need to. :-P

Over and out for now!

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

I got a selfie with The Phantom Of The Opera! TRUE STORY!!! (A LOT of photos in this post!)

kseenaa — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 00:26:42 GMT

So I went to Gothenburg for some quality time with my best friend this weekend. And to see Phantom of the Opera with Fred Johanson playing the title role of the Phantom.

I saw Fred Johanson in the movie version of Jesus Christ Superstar years and years ago, and I feel head over heels over his deep dark voice and his incredible presence in every scene he was in. My best friend, who is a serious musical buff, has since kept track of him both for me and since she likes him to. In a word, we’ve turned into a bit of fangirls over him.

Had I not been a fresh new mom, we would have gone to Stockholm to see him in Jesus Christ Superstar there, but alas… :-) Now we got our chance though, and we jumped at it! Plus it played during February and we both HATE February, so there’s that to. :-) We all need something to put a smile on our face, right?

Anyhow, to make sure we wouldn’t have to stress after we’d been to the Gothenburg Opera House were the musical played, we decided to share a room at a hotel. We both have busy lives with work and such, so we needed a lazy little weekend with our best friend. :-)

We left for Gothenburg moderately early, it just takes 1 hour to go to Gothenburg by bus or train, so we were there around… 10:30am.

Went to the hotel we were luckily our room was already available, so we dumped our sleepover bags and then we just strolled around town taking our time. We both needed a stress free day, and we took our time with everything. Went to our favorite shops and stores. I ‘happened to’ buy the three latest Elfquest graphic novels. Oops? And we had a late lunch/dinner in a lovely british themed pub before we went back to the hotel to dress up for the night.

On the bus.

Ylletyg pretending to be a paparazzo!

Poster from The Gothenburg Opera House with The Phantom on!

Our favorite store! The Science Fiction Bookstore!

Ylletyg is a brilliant seamstress, so we went to her favorite store: Knapp Karlsson! That have only buttons! Well, and a bit more detail stuff for sewing....

Went to the gothstore Shock! Were you shouldn't shoplift... Clearly...

Late lunch / early dinner was had at a wonderful british themed pub!

That had some REALLY interesting 'art' in the ladies room! X-D

Outfit for the visit to the Opera House!

The Gothenburg Opera House is quite impressive. A modern building mostly made by glass and steel, but it still works quite well and is oddly beautiful. Right by the harbor to. Easy to get to.

The entrance!

We were there in plenty time, so there was no stress getting rid of coats, do a panicked bathroom break and finding our seats. Great seats, by the way! Close but not too close to the stage. Could see everything and hear everything perfectly. Whenever I need tickets to a musical, I trust Ylletyg to get tickets, she seriously rocks at it. :-D

Decoration made by porcelain rescued from an East India Trading Company ship!

Was told to pose, so I tried!

And so… On to the musical itself. :-) Apart from the knee jerk reaction “OMG! IT WAS AMAZING! I HAD GOOSEBUMPS!” Well, I did have goosebumps for most of it, but…

Unlike Ylletyg I have not seen that many musicals (she’s a proper musical-nerd), but I HAVE read the original book by Gaston Leroux. And it’s a very goth, very harsh gritty story. From what I knew of the musical going in, it’s not… quite as harsh and gritty as the original story. The original story is really dark, really goth. I do recommend it if you have the patience for the old fashioned language used. It’s really good.

So to actually see and hear it, and with Fred Johanson to boot, it was a true experience.

The stage before the musical started, with the infamous chandelier...

Two VERY excited best friends!

The orchestra pit! I just had to in the break...

Our seats! 324 and 323 on row 9!

Let’s see… How to do this…

The good

Well, the music, obviously. *LOL* This production was made together with the Finnish National Opera Company, so there were a couple of opera singers in it. And the orchestra was quite massive as well. Not sure how big an orchestra is at a musical, but since this was played at the Gothenburg Opera House, they used the full orchestra usually used there. And you could tell. The music just consumed you. Not even joking. The combination of the skilled musicians and the singers, all the different singers, was spellbinding.

Another downright amazing thing, that impressed both me and Ylletyg, is something the Gothenburg Opera House is known for… The ease and speed in wish the stage was changed and the scenography. I mean, the set up of the stage was changed SO FAST and SO SEAMLESSLY!!! Apparently the Gothenburg Opera House is built to be able to do that, so there was many scenes with different looks and a lot of props that quickly and seamlessly was changed around. The most impressive scene to me was when The Phantom lures Christine with him to his lair the first time (during the song Phantom of the Opera, the most famous of the songs) and all these stairwells and grey brick walls moved around on the stage as if they were part of Hogwarts in the Harry Potter movies… WITH the actors standing on them! THAT was impressive!

Another really good thing about this musical, which both me and Ylletyg both commented on at the same time, was that it was quite harsh and gritty, goth and dark. Well, the story IS dark and goth in and off itself, but the movie isn’t that harsh and gritty. And according to Ylletyg, previous productions hasn’t been this harsh and gritty either… If that makes sense? It sure worked really really well though, and I got the feeling that the actors/singers enjoyed that to. The costumes were INCREDIBLE and while I wanted to steal most of the male costumes, Ylletyg wanted to steal all the female ones. *LOL* She said the costumes had a bit of steampunk feel to it, and I have to agree! They even redesigned The Phantom’s mask, and I have to say I really liked it! The whole scenography and costumes was really good and added to the harsh, gritty, goth, dark feel of the whole production. A great great job!

Characters / Actors

When it comes to characters and their singers/actors, I have to say a character I found dull and boring in the book and in the movie (yes, I have seen the movie to), is Raoul. Christine's love interest. He is the posterboy for the time the novel was written, but would not be popular today, if get what I mean. But the actor/singer that did him the night we watched, did something more with the character within the frames he was given. A boyish charming guy, that very clearly showed his love for Christine. Not just competing with The Phantom, you know? He somehow managed to show that he cared. More than the Raoul in the novel, to be honest. So he sure impressed me!

Raoul works together with the two new owners of the Opera, Monsieur Firmin and Monsieur André. And these two were freaking HILARIOUS! Perfect comic relief without going to far with it. Have some of the best songs, to be honest. And the two actors clearly had fun with these actors. It was very obvious. The Phantom is my favorite, but these comes close to it, for sure. I think they did great!

Carlotta and Pangini were two other characters that were definitely comic reliefs. Carlotta and Pangini are the two stars of the opera in the story. And Carlotta? Is a proper diva! *LOL* The actress/singer is a trained opera-singer. And you can tell. I don’t think she had a microphone. She didn’t need one. Holy hell, what a voice! Combining that with an over the top diva character, and it was a joy to see! Also, she had the most awesome clothes off ALL the characters! High heeled victorian boots in leopard print? GIVE ME! Pangini was a bit more flat of a character, but he was funny to. Especially with Carlotta who kept bulling him around, while he just came back for more. Both of them played up an italian accent, which was very fitting both for the setting and the story.

Madame Giry and Meg are two pretty cool characters in the story to, that I really really like. We’re getting close to my favorite now. ;-) Madame Giry pretty much takes another characters role in the novel. The character that KNOWS… Knows about where the Phantom/Erik comes from. And that was a pleasant surprise. You actually found out quite a bit! That he’d built a room of mirrors for a Shah… that he’d been born with a disfigurement… that he’d been with a freakshow lead by gypsies… That he’d built trapdoors and sneaky passages all over the Opera House… So Madame Giry is quite the important character! And the actress/singer who played her did SUCH a good job! Just the right amount of creepy and know-it-all without making it annoying.

So is Meg! She’s best friend with Christine, and is a constant suporter to Christine. She’s the one that tells Monsieur Firmin and Monsieur André that Chrstine can be a standin for Carlotta, and in so makes sure they can discover Chrstines amazing voice. She to knows the stories about the Phantom quite well and also gives us clues to him, just like her mother. Her actress doesn’t have that much to work with, but I think she did a great job, I really did.

Christine… Ah, Christine. The token love intressent. She’s just as interesting as in the novel, that is not that interesting at all. But I have to give it to the actress/singer. She really milked the role for all it was worth! Not only a gorgeous young woman with a miraculous voice that is manipulated by a creepy voice in the walls… But a woman with dreams and wants her own, that wants to be independent and be the new star but is to shy to take the chance in the beginning (thank you Meg!). And also how confused and desperate she is the longer the story unfolds. I think it was very well played! And that woman's voice… WOW! She to has apparently trained to be a opera singer, and you can tell! Some of them notes… Just wow...

The Phantom / Erik… Ah, what to say, really? Played by the INCREDIBLE Fred Johanson, the sole reason we even went to see this production of The Phantom. It, of course, helps that I really like the story about Erik, the man who has grown up harshly and then isolated because of his face that is disfigured and horrible to see. Not even his mother managed to look at him kindly. One of my favorite books is Phantom by Susan Kay about Erik’s life from birth to death. I can not recommend it enough if you enjoy this character. It’s absolutely incredible. How did Fred Johanson do in the role then? Incredible, as was expected. He is a very tall man, somewhere between 6,4 and 6,5 feet tall (said himself in an interview), if somewhat leaner than he used to be. Still, having an incredible knee length coat on (that I wanted to steal…), he makes for an imposing figure. He definitely did the character justice, and not only when he needed to be scary, but also in more emotional moments. And then Fred’s voice… Holy fuck, that deep dark voice… It gives me freaking goosebumps, not even joking. Fred also has an incredible presence on stage! I’ve seen him three times live now, and then there’s the Jesus Christ Superstar movie, and Fred has this ability to just OWN the stage as soon as he sets foot on it. I don’t know how he does it, but it’s incredible to see. As the Phantom at times you just hear his voice, you don’t see him, and he still just OWNS the stage! An amazing talent in all ways! He really should get more attention for his talent.

Just to prove Fred’s talent, here he sings The Music Of The Night:

The bad

So the bad… Was there anything bad? Well, yeah. And it’s mostly nitpicking, but still.

One thing that kind disappointed me was… The infamous chandelier. The one that at one point during the musical “falls down”. The Phantom is pissed off, and makes a chandelier in the auditorium fall down and kill some of the audience, and to show this during the musical, they have a chandelier go on a cable over the audience from the ceiling. The whole musical starts with it going up the ceiling. You’d expect it to be an impressive piece then, right? Since it plays such a vital role? Right? Well. The auditorium at the Gothenburg Opera House is MASSIVE. And the chandelier kinda… disappeared. It looked REALLY TINY somehow. And the design wasn’t that impressive either, so that was a bit of a let down. :-P It was still cool though when it “fell down”.

At one point in the middle the story slowed down a bit, and I didn’t really know what was going on. It was a good thing I knew the story well, just saying, or I could have been a bit lost. Also, in the beginning especially, there was just way to many people on stage and you had to really focus to keep track of where the main characters was.

Nitpicky? Yes, a little maybe. :-) I’m allowed to. ;-)

Right, so…

After the musical was over, me and Ylletyg went to get our coats. We’d decided to try to go to the stage door to see if we could see Fred Johanson there and hopefully get an autograph. So we stood there calmly waiting in line… And suddenly, right behind us one of the many doors in the Opera House opened. And Fred Johanson in full Phantom makeup literary leaned his head out the door raising an eyebrow.

I nearly peed myself. One of those things you just can’t believe is happening.

Fred seemed to know some people, one in a wheelchair, and talked happily to them. No one bothered him, or took photos. Everyone was REALLY respectful and kept their distance, so he just stood there, talking happily with a couple of people. Opening and closing the door now and then since the alarm kept going off, and making a funny joke about it every time. Me and Ylletyg had a hard time containing our excitement, I won’t lie. We debated back and forth in hushed voices if we really would dare to go over to him or not and what we’d say etc…

Then a young women came over to me giving me a hug. It took me a second, but then I saw she was one of the many teens that had graduated from ‘my school’ two years ago. She was studying music now and was just as excited as we were about the musical experience, and very happy to see me (yay!). She’d spent hours in the library with me, so she knew what a nerd and fangirl I am. When I told her I didn’t know if I should go over to Fred or not or if I dared to ask for a photo, she sternly told me I HAD to when she understood what a fan I was. The student becomes the teacher? X-D

Said and done, when there were fewer people talking to him we walked over to him, hearts beating, and told him what an incredible singer he is. I think I even told him I got goosebumps from his voice. X-D

And we also made sure to say we were amazed by the presence he has on stage, and that we’d seen him in three different musicals live now, and that at least I kept rewatching the Jesus Christ Superstar he is in. He seemed really flattered that we’d followed his career and read up on him more than just about this role and was very happy to hear we’d enjoyed his performance that much. I remember he said he’d never reflected on about having a presence or stage or not, but we assured him he seriously has.

We respectfully asked him if we could take a photo, and he said sure! Fred then asked if we wanted a joint selfie with him. At that point my poor friend who is just 4.9 feet tall (short?) piped up “But I’m so short…” Well, I’m 5.9, almost 6 feet, and Fred is between 6.4 and 6.5 feet, so I totally understand her! X-D We ended up taking a photo each with him. When it was Ylletygs turn, he even bent his knees so he’d be level with her. IT WAS SO CUTE!!!! We again thanked him so very much for the incredible evening. He just smiled and bid his farewell before disappearing behind that door again.

I should not fangirl over people. I get the stupidest smile on my face... BUT OMG! It's really him! IT'S FRED JOHANSON! AND I GOT TO MEET HIM FACE TO FACE!!!

As we were leaving after that, we were downright floating! X-D We could not stop grinning and felt as if we were drunk, even if we hadn’t had any alcohol that day! (Well, just a little with lunch/dinner...)

Ylletyg commented that things like this only happens when it’s us two to doing stuff together, and I think she’s right! The magic of being two long time best friends? *LOL* It might be what triggers these incredible things!

So before we went back to the hotel, we felt like we needed a sturdy drink! So we found a pub that wasn’t to crowded, had a drink and a snack, discussing our evening and our incredible meeting with Fred. Then we went back to the hotel.

Once in a bed each though, we couldn’t sleep! X-D Se we ended up laying in the darkness giggling and talking for quite the long time, just like little girls, before we feel asleep!

You’d never guess we’re both 40 years old… X-D

The next day Ylletyg had to get up early since she was going on a course in Gothenburg to learn how to make hats, so I joined her for the LOVELY hotel breakfast and then she left and I just lazed around a bit in the hotel room before leaving to. A bit of shopping later and I went home.

So thus endeth my AMAZING time in Gothenburg with my best friend!

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Snowflake Challenge Day 10

kseenaa — Sat, 17 Feb 2018 22:47:32 GMT

♥ Day 1 ♥ Day 2 ♥ Day 3 ♥ Day 4 ♥ Day 5 ♥ Day 6 ♥ Day 7 ♥ Day 8 ♥ Day 9 ♥ Day 10 ♥

Day 10

In your own space, share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme. (Or a few!) Tell us what makes it work for you, and why it appeals to you so much. Talk about what you like to see in fanworks featuring that theme most. Feel free to include recs and examples!

OK, so… I almost don’t want to say. Which is horrible, because I’m pretty much kink-shaming myself. :-P If that is making sense.

Because I like darkfic. And I don’t mean just a little-spanking-so-called-darkfic. I mean down the rabbit hole absolutely horrible darkfic that could give you nightmares. That kind of darkfic.

It’s not written often, especially not in all fandoms. I think it depends on the fandom. Where darkfic is the ‘biggest’, if you could say that according to my experience, is in the Buffy-fandom. Because there’s vampires. And they survive anything and heal anything. (I’ve read fics where vampires have been cut to pieces. Literary. And been kept that way. Ehm…) So so much good darkfic in that fandom.

But to my surprise, once I learned how to use the fic warnings in various archives, there’s quite a lot of darkfic going on in the Tokio Hotel fandom to. Once you know HOW to look for them, they’re there. There’s more than you might think. And a lot of it is really good!

Not that much in the Pirates-fandom. Interestingly enough since there’s various variations of zombie-pirates… In the Pirates-fandom there’s, however, a lot of cliché fic! All the pirate-clichés you can think off! *lol* However, in the Pirates-fandom there’s quite a few fic where the writer has incorporated real historic people, pirates from history. Which is interesting. :-)

Oh, another fandom where you could find quite a bit of darkfic was in the Sons of Anarchy fandom, but that’s not so strange, is it? That whole TV-show was a darkfic in and off itself. *lol* Since the show has ended though there’s not much action going on in the fandom. A shame.

So… WHY do I like darkfic so much? I think it’s the same thing why I loved dark biographies when I grew up. I mean, I read some seriously dark stories when I grew up, apart from all the fantasy books I read. As an example two of my favorite books from when I was… 14 or 15 years old are Phantom by Susan Kay and And I don't want to live this life - A mother's story of her daughter's murder by Deborah Spungen, which should tell you a lot. :-)

And then there’s the little thing about my loving tru crime stories, and that’s pretty dark to, isn’t it? So I guess I just like dark stories, be it fiction, biographies or fanfic. :-)

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Snowflake Challenge Day 9

kseenaa — Mon, 12 Feb 2018 22:29:46 GMT

♥ Day 1 ♥ Day 2 ♥ Day 3 ♥ Day 4 ♥ Day 5 ♥ Day 6 ♥ Day 7 ♥ Day 8 ♥ Day 9 ♥

Day 9

In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator.

Help? I'm not a creator, I'm a consumer when it comes to fandoms. I really am.

My current obsession, as I've said, are YouTube vids where fans discuss various things.

But I've read tons and tons and tons of fanfic previous years and years involved in fandoms. And I did try to write as well.

And what I've learned is I was the best at writing quick drabbles. In specific What-If-drabbles. So I did that a lot for a while there.

I did try to do a writing-challange once, which produced a bit of drabbles for sure, that were just a little longer. In the Buffy fandom I mostly wrote them short drabbles.

I have written ONE fanfic, a little bit longer smutty one, but just one. So there's that.

And I've written in so so so many roleplaying games. (During the height of the Buffy fandom, I even got awarded as the best roleplayer in a couple of games...)

Anyhow, I am not sure what to link to, so I'll just link to my tag My Fanfic, and you can cruise along there.

Also, here's the one and only sorta proper fanfic I've written to. It was betad and everything! It takes two

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Snowflake Challenge Day 8

kseenaa — Sat, 10 Feb 2018 23:35:17 GMT

♥ Day 1 ♥ Day 2 ♥ Day 3 ♥ Day 4 ♥ Day 5 ♥ Day 6 ♥ Day 7 ♥ Day 8 ♥

Day 8

In your own space, share a favorite piece of original canon (a TV episode, a song, a favorite interview, a book, a scene from a movie, etc) and explain why you love it so much.

Oh lord... I've been in A LOT of fandoms and there's so many amazing moments in all of them.

But I'll actually go with a moment that really hit me in the gut and turned me into a proper fangirl instead of just 'liking' something.

And that's the ending of Pirates of The Caribbean At Worlds End.

Well, not only the ending but from the battle in the maelstrom and onwards.

Can you guess I have a thing for Will Turner yet?

Anyway, let's see if I can get vids for this. Sit back and get ready. And if you haven't seen said movie, this might be confusing. And if you haven't seen the first three Pirates movies, what the hell have you been doing? Go watch them!

The Big Bad in the movie is the company The East India Trading Company. Lead by Lord Cutler Beckett. He wants the company to rule the sea, and by doing so he manages to steal (through a lot of... action and strange happenings in the previous movie) the heart of Captain Davy Jones. He is the Captain of The Flying Dutchman. Once a lover of the sea goddess Calypso, he was made immortal by her and given the task of shipping the dead to the afterlife and being able to be with her. She is as fickle as the sea however, so the one day he had on land every ten years, she was not there. And Davy Jones turned into a serious monster of the sea. Unstoppable and cruel. Of course, having his heart you can rule over him, hence Lord Beckett being happy to have it. The only thing that can kill Jones is by stabbing the heart, so he does pretty much anything to keep it safe... You can imagine what Lord Beckett threatens the heart with...

The pirates does not like this, they want the freedom the seas give. And so fights and plots against The EITC and Lord Becket and Jones. Which in the end ends up in a great big battle scene... in the midst of a maelstrom.

(There's of course A SHIT TON more going on, but let's keep it simple. The plots of these movies are never simple.)

Will Turner and Elisabeth Swan gets married in the midst of that crazy battle in the midst of the maelstrom in probably the best wedding scene ever made!

Everyone are after Captain Davy Jones heart, Will to free his father from the Flying Dutchman and Captain Jack Sparrow to gain immortality and sail the seas forever.

Will's father, Bootstrap Bill (played by Stellan Skarsgård to perfection), has been driven insane by the ship and fights his own son. Will wins (he is a hell of a fighter) and leaves the knife he got from Bill with him, saying he won't fight him.

Meanwhile Jack fights Davy Jones in one really cool fight scene! Gotta love Bill Nigh and the way he plays Jones!

Jack and Davy drops the chest with Davy Jones heart and Will goes for it, just to be stopped by Davy Jones himself. As does Elisabeth. And they both fight Davy Jones, but he is far superior then the both of them. He is, after all, immortal and any harm they give him heal immediately.

Davy Jones focus is his heart in his chest, stabbing the heart in the chest is the only thing that can kill him even if the one that does so will take his place and be magically bound to the ship The Flying Dutchman...

Jones knocks out the both of them threating to kill Will having his sword to Will's chest, and well... this happens. I'll just let this clip stay right here, because it guts me every time I see it.

Getting chills watching that, even after all these years...

So the crew of the Dutchman make Will their Captain by literary ripping Will's heart out of his chest, placing it in The Chest and therefore binding Will to the Dutchman for ever... or until someone stabs his heart... (Note that it's Will's father Bill that does the deed with Will's own knife...)

As it turns out, he takes to the role quite well. And helps Jack, Barbossa and the crew of the Black Pearl to literary blast the big bad guy Lord Beckett and his ship to smithereens winning the freedom for all pirates to rule the seas!

After the battle, Will has a very touching moment with his father Bill. Will did reach his goal. He did free his father. Even if the prize was very high, which they talk about to.

But Elisabeth, you say? Well, the Captain of the Flying Dutchman has one day where he can step foot on land every ten years... And also his first day, as it turns out.

Bring your napkins. Let's have another scene, because Will and Elisabeth gets a chance to consummate their marriage as it were... until the Dutchman demands her captain.

*sniff* Yeah, so they got their one day and then Will is gone, leaving Elisabeth alone. She's a bit of a badass though, since she managed to end up the Pirateking earlier in the movie, so I'm quite sure she was doing good during those ten years.

In the scene after the credits she sure looks it... and Will must have done a good job on that beach... because there's a son! And how happy Will is, Elisabeth must have been faithful those ten years, as she had to be or it would have ended badly for Will.

So how many napkins did you need? I went through two... I always get so sniffly when I think off Cursed Captain Will Turner and his fate.

Right so, all this... this is what turned me into a proper and raving fangirl over the Pirates franchise. I like the character Jack Sparrow well enough, but it's Will Turner that really gets to me every time. And there were SO MANY theories about how the curse worked, what Will's fate was during those ten years, what Elisabeth was doing, how the Flying Dutchman worked, how their son grew up... The discussions were ENDLESS!!! It's STILL discussed to this day, even after there being two more movies. The fourth one was pure SHIT, and I pretend it never happened... But the fifth one, now... They did find their way back a bit to the whole mood from the first three and it really felt more like it belonged, you know? Also, WILL TURNER WAS BACK! And hey ho, his soon Henry ended up really cool. So I can honestly recommend that one.

See the first three, skip the fourth, and watch the fifth. And enjoy. Pure fun and dramatic and cool pirates. Ignore the big plotholes and enjoy the rest. ;-)

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

100 Truths

kseenaa — Sat, 10 Feb 2018 00:51:16 GMT

100 Truths

001. Real name → Emma
002. Nickname(s)→ KSena
003. Zodiac sign → Cancer
004. Male or female → Female
005. Age → 40
006. Dream Job → Librarian, which I am. :-)
007. Eyes → Blue with a green hint to them.
008. Hair color → Naturally I'm dark/greyish blonde, but I am colouring it purple. :-)
009. Long or short → Long
010. Loud or Quiet → Both? Talkative.
011. Sweats or Jeans → Sweats at home, jeans otherwise
012. Phone or Camera → Phone
013. Health freak → Definitly NOT!
015. Do you have a crush on someone? → Yep. Hubby!
016. Eat or Drink → Both!
017. Piercings → 5 in left ear, 3 in my right ear, one in my tounge, one in my lip on the left side.
018. Tattoos → One on each lower leg, one on each upper arm, one on my left lower arm and one on my left shoulderblade.

HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane → Yes
020. Had sex with someone you just met → Yes
021. Been in a car accident → No
022. Been in a fist fight → No (unless you count my brother). But I have stopped a few.

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → Got my ears pierced when I was 6 years old
024. First best friend → Anna aka Ylletyg. 27 years and counting
025. First award → No idea
026. First crush → Can't remember
027. First time → Asshole, but really good in bed!
028. First big vacation → I was almost 4 years old when mom and dad took my WAAAAY north to the northen borders between Sweden and Norway. Summer before my brother was born.

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to → My hubby
030. Last person you texted → My little brother
031. Last person you watched a movie with → My hubby
034. Last song you listened to → The American Murder Song called Pretty Lavinia
035. Last thing you bought → Spikes for my shoes so I won't slip
036. Last person you hugged → My kid

FAVES:
037. Food → ALL THE FOOD! :-D I love food, and I love desserts and sweets!
038. Drink → I prefer ciders, but I'd drink most thinks
039. Clothing → Jeans or sweats and a teeshirt
040. Flower → Orchids
041. Books → Biographies, preferably about old rock musicians
043. Movies → MANY! Fantasy/adventure/mystery etc...
044. Subjects → History... and litterature

IN 2018, I'VE ALREADY...
045. Kissed someone → Yes, hubby, kiddo, grandma... family basiclly
046. Celebrated Halloween → No, it's just February
047. Had your heart broken → No
048. Went over the minutes on your cell phone → No
049. Questioned someone’s sexual orientation → No
050. Came out of the closet → Already out, I guess
051. Got pregnant → No
052. Had an abortion → No
053. Did something you regretted → No
054. Broke a promise → No
055. Hid a secret → No
056. Pretended to be happy → No
057. Met someone who changed your life → My kid? No?
058. Pretended to be sick → No
059. Left the country → No
060. Tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it → No
061. Cried over the silliest thing → No
062. Ran a mile → No
063. Went to the beach with your best friend(s) → No
064. Got into an argument with your friends → No
065. Hated someone → No
066. Done something good for someone else → Yes, 'my' kids/teens at the school every day... there's always someone I help or give a comforting word to

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating → Nope
068. Drinking → Tea and a sweet drink
069. I’m about to → Go to bed
070. Listening to → Pretty Lavinia by Amarican Murder Song
071. Plans for today → Go to bed soon and have a loooooong sleep in in the morning
072. Waiting for → Nothing special

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → Have one, can't have more
074. Want to get married? → Yes, at some point
075. Careers in mind → Be better at my profession

WHICH IS BETTER
076. Lips or eyes → Eyes
077. Shorter or taller? → Doesn't matter
078. Romantic or spontaneous → Both
079. Nice ass or tits → Both
080. Sensitive or loud → Both
081. Hook-up or relationship → Both, but currently in relationship
082. Troublemaker or hesitant → Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts lenses → Oh yes, I've done that MANY times!
084. Ran away from home → Yes, when I was 5... It didn't last long.
085. Hold a gun/knife for self-defence → No
086. Killed somebody → No
087. Broken someone’s heart → Not sure
088. Rejected someone’s call on purpose → Yes
089. Cried when someone died → Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → Yes
091. Miracles → Yes
092. Love at first sight → Yes
093. Heaven → No
094. Santa Claus → No
095. Sex on the first date → Why not? Yes
096. Kiss on the first date → Yes, definitly!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes, my family
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → Yes. Of course, I could have been rich and wealthy and... But apart from dreams, yes. I am.
099. Do you believe in God? → No
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people → If anyone feels like they want to, go for it! :-)

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

SUCH a great weekend with mom! And some thinky thoughts...

kseenaa — Sun, 04 Feb 2018 22:41:28 GMT

I've had SUCH a great weekend! Mom has stayed here all weekend, and it's been great!

I love my mother dearly, and as an adult our relationship has just grown. It was... strained during my teens, but you point to anyone that didn't have a strained relationship with their parents during their teens. :-)

ANYHOW! That was random. But this weekend was just great!

We'd planned it for a while, since she's working as a assistant nurse she has very random working hours. But this weekend our schedules worked out!

So she came Friday afternoon/evening. And we just hung out and had a nice evening.

The reason that she came over Friday evening already is because Saturday morning, Alexandra has her riding lesson, and mom wanted to come and see how Alexandra was doing in person.

It's been snowing quite a bit lately, and it's been cold, so we all dressed warmly before going. We went, and we had a nice little time. Alexandra did great!

They did these Cavaletti-exercises, and I had no idea what that was so I had to look it up online before the lesson. HERE'S a little vid, so you can see what it is. They both did short pace and trotting over them poles.

Alexandra has a really good balance, ever since she started this, and both me and mom talked about that. Mom is working with a couple of horse loving riding people, and they've seen the clips I put on Instagram, and they've all commented on how comfortable and balanced Alexandra look in the saddle. I think that's awesome. :-D

I admit. I'm a proud momma. ;-)

After that we came home, got some hot dogs and stuff, that we had for lunch, and then we just lazed around at home warming up, because you get cold to the bones when you stand on the sidelines during the riding lessons during the winter... :-P

Me and mom got the challenge to cook dinner during Saturday. Usually peting73 is doing the cooking. He is REALLY good at it, but he figured since my mom was there it was just fair that we were cooking for him for once. *lol*

So we did, and had a lot of fun while doing it. And it turned out delicious to! YAY! We still got it!

After that, me and peting73 fixed ourself up and went to the movies, while mom was a babysitter! She's wanted to do that for quite a while, but since there's a bit of a drive in between us, it hasn't been very practical. Alexandra was all for it though. Gave us a hug and told us to go already so she could hang out with grandma alone. *LOL* Cocky kid. X-D

Me and peting73 went and watched Star Wars Last Jedi. Yeah, it was luckily enough still running here. AND we found some gift cards, which made sure we hardly paid anything either! Win-win!

I LOVE watching Star Wars videos with peting73 since he is SUCH a huge Star Wars fan boy and nerd. When he was really young during the original three movies, he read EVERYTHING he could get his hands on. The books, magazines... the works. So he knows his Star Wars. :-) Which makes it interesting to talk about the movies with him, even if I don't know that much myself.

I liked the movie well enough. They do tie up the ends pretty well. There's not much that bothered me, just little things here and there.

Interestingly, what with not being a huge fan, I did get more effected than I thought when Lea Organa aka Carrie Fisher showed up on the screen. Damn. What a loss. She'll be missed for many many years, I fear.

(One of the things that bothered me the most involved Lea Organa, in fact...)

Anyhow, it was nice being able to go to the movies just me and peting73.

Coming back we then just hung out with mom. Me and mom ended up on the couch in a tickle-fight while watching true crime documentaries....

Yeah, she's almost 65 and I'm 40. You're never to old for tickle-fights. Just saying. ;-)

Then bed, and today we took it easy during the morning. Me and mom decided to take care of my flowers. She's really good with flowers and green growing things, so it's always nice to get a hand with that.

And after that and some coffee, she left and went to her gentleman caller. She spent the rest of the day with him, and tonight she'll be working.

She only has 5 more weeks to work, and then she's retiring. :-D She SOOO deserves it! In April she turns 65 years old, so she's getting older as it were.

Mom did surprise me this weekend, actually. She does regularly, what with being as wonderfully insane as she is. :-) But she is actually planning to sell her house. Well, not NOW, but in a couple of years or more. As she is saying, she's not getting younger. And the house she does live in does require a lot of upkeep and work. Old fashioned swedish house, red with the white corners. So yeah.

I thought I'd feel more upset about mom selling that house. I mean, we've grown up there me and my brother. My father renovated the house himself, close to everything (apart from electricity and plumbing). And he got it gifted from my paternal grandparents. But still, I mean... I doubt my brother would want that house, he has his own. And I REALLY don't want to move back there. So yeah, I think she's doing the right thing. I'll probably feel weird WHEN she moves, but I still think it's the right way for her.

Right so, this was a random update. It's been good spending so much time with my mom though. I love her SO MUCH, she's the best and means the world to me. :-)

Tomorrow, back to work again!

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Snowlake Challenge Day 7 - Love Meme!

kseenaa — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 22:17:35 GMT

♥ Day 1 ♥ Day 2 ♥ Day 3 ♥ Day 4 ♥ Day 5 ♥ Day 6 ♥ Day 7 ♥

Day 7:

In your own space, create a love meme for yourself. Let people tell you how amazing and awesome and loveable you really are.

I had to look up what a love meme was… Is that sad or what?

This feel extremely weird, but… If you think I deserve any good words, let me know?

Meantime to all my old and new friends, have a HUG!

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Starting with some TMI, update on kiddo and life in general....

kseenaa — Sun, 28 Jan 2018 00:43:32 GMT

Ladies. I don't know if you've experienced this, but...

DO NOT get a zit on your nipple. It hurts like the ever loving fuck.... Almost healed now, but HOLY SHIT!!! NOT an experience I want to have again...

Anyway, apart from that things are pretty good here. :-) I'm mostly proud of what I've accomplished at work this school-term. Last school-term I was behind on pretty much EVERYTHING! But this school-term I'm doing really good, so I'm totally happy with that. I'm feeling more comfortable professionally and I don't feel as down and almost-depressed-or-maybe-I-was as I did the last school-term. So yeah. I'm doing great there!

Alexandra, my dear sweet kiddo, is just... as insane as ever. I think we have a nerd on our hands... X-D

She's going from watching cute things like My Little Pony, Mickey and the Roadster Racers, PJ Masks, Princess Sofie the first, The Liongaurd and all the other stuff on Disney Junior... And all the stuff she watches on Nick Junior...

Now she wants superheroes! It started with her friend that she visited showing her DC Superhero Girls, and she got hooked on that... Now? Now she's watching Young Justice! Some serious complicated stuff for a 5½ year old girl! o.O I'm sure she doesn't got all of it, but she's not afraid of it, and there's some stuff in it I would think would have scared her... And there's no more nightmares than normal, so... I guess she's fine? She'll end up watching horror movies as a teen and scare her poor old mom. X-D

She's still doing riding-school and she's REALLY GOOD at riding horses, apparently. I've put up movie-clips on Instagram, and I have a few RL friends and my brother and mother does as well that are longtime riders and horse-lovers that has informed me of this. :-D So YAY! She loves it and wants to do it FOR EVER AND EVER! Her words. X-D

Also, she starts school in August... o.O Excuse me, wasn't she a baby not that long ago? Geezes...

Next week mom is coming over for the whole weekend. She's coming over to watch Alexandra riding at riding school and then she'll be baby-sitting so me and peting73 can go on a little date. Hopefully Star Wars still is in theaters by then so we can watch it, if not we'll do something else, I'm sure. :-)

This turned out to be an update about kiddo... Well, and some TMI. X-D But that's pretty much my life right now, so there's that. In the evenings I watch my favorite YouTube channels and I watch documentaries on Netflix while watching my social media.

I also read books, well I listen to books. And podcasts. I do talk about books in the local radio about... once a month? The main library ask all the other librarians in town if they mind going on the radio doing this, and since I like being on the radio well... :-)

I did it last Thursday and I'd read the book Tjock! which is swedish and means Fat!. It's a book about how it is to be fat in the society today where it's really not... OK to be fat. And especially not to be fat and content with life and your body. I recognized so much in that book, and it was such a fun book I sometimes giggled reading it / listening to it. The writer, Jenny Dahlberg, was awesome! Such a nice book! Totally recommend it! And the talk on radio turned out great to! So that was awesome!

Right. Next time I sit down and post, I'll continue with the Snowflake Challenge. Thank heavens for a challenge with no time-limits. :-D

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Snowflake Challenge Day 6

kseenaa — Sun, 21 Jan 2018 23:39:19 GMT

♥ Day 1 ♥ Day 2 ♥ Day 3 ♥ Day 4 ♥ Day 5 ♥ Day 6 ♥

Day 6

Leave feedback for a fanwork. Or multiple fanworks. It can be as simple as I liked this to a detailed list of all the things you loved about the fanwork. The key is to leave some sort of feedback.

If you've already left feedback in the course of a previous challenge, it totally counts. But you're free to leave more feedback.

I don't read fanfic really anymore, but I do watch YouTube vids a lot. And they're about fandoms and such to, so that totally counts, right?
`
Anyway, here's a couple of my favorite YouTube channels that are fandom related that I left a comment on how much I appreciate the work they put down. :-)

The Dom - This is my favorite YouTube channel. It really is. He compares movies to the books they're based on. And he is doing it SO WELL! And really entertaining! And his accent is amazing! And I just... I admit, I've watched EVERY SINGLE CLIP on this channel They're just THAT GOOD! First ones I saw, that just sealed the deal for me about this guys awesome, was when he just bashed the Fifty Shades of Grey books and movies to HELL AND BACK!!! I love this guy. So at least watch those: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

Alt Shift X - A really good channel that goes through a lot of things and characters in Game of Thrones really well. I like the layout of each vid they have to, very educational or well, it just makes it all easier to follow if you know what I mean. It does a lot when you listen to it. I really like this channel!

Calluna Reviews - I found this channel thanks to Game of Thrones to, but she's not only doing vids about Game of Thrones. Those are AMAZING, since she's very knowledgeable about the books to. But she has a lot of games and other TV-shows as well.

Costume CO - I am mostly impressed when watching this. Both by her research and by the costumers of Game of Thrones and other movies and TV-show. She is going IN DEPTH about the costumes here. Like, down to the stitches depth... And still makes it VERY interesting! Anyone interesting in sewing and embroidery should watch this!

Emergency Awesome - This is also really good channel as well. Again, found it thanks ot Game of Thrones (there's a pattern here, I know), but this guy makes a lot of vids about other TV-shows and movies as well. And I do mean A LOT! Damn, he updates often!

No Small Parts - This channel is just INCREDIBLE!!! Because here you got proper documentaries about those actors you never remember the name off... Because they never have the lead, they're just there... in the background, these character actors. But still just as hardworking and as passionate as the big stars. I LOVE that someone is giving them some spotlight, seriously.

Pop Culture Detective - Found this thanks to a Star Wars vid, about the problems with the jedi faith... Really interesting. A new one on my list of channels I follow, but so far it is REALLY GOOD, and brings up some really interesting theories and points about mayor movies and TV shows that I, for one, never reflected over.

ScreenPrism - Don't remember how I found this, but probably through Game of Thrones. Haven't watched all or that many of the clips here, but those I have where REALLY GOOD! And this channel go through anything when it comes to movies and TV shows to, so there's a lot to choose from here!

It's Black Friday - Technically not a fandom channel, I know. But I just adore this gorgeous goth! I mean, seriously! And she always has such a positive message in her vids, one way or anther. Even when she recently divorced her husband. I do so adore her.

So, giving comments and appreciation to all those channels should count, right? Right? I hope it does. I think YouTubers should find out that you enjoy their work to, not only fanart-artists and fanfic-writers. :-)

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Shit hitting the fan at my job... maybe... possibly... or?

kseenaa — Sun, 14 Jan 2018 01:56:28 GMT

So… Let’s see if I can summarize what has happened this week at work. It’s not going to be easy. :-P At all.

Tuesday I had to go to dentist since I had a bad toothache, so peting73 drove both me and Alexandra to daycare and then to work. Which meant that I had to go pick up Alexandra that day and in doing so, I have to leave early.

At 2pm I found out I had to go to a meeting at 2:30pm. I HAD to go, I was told. Not good, since I would have to leave at this time. I could be there for 30 mins though.

Which was just what I needed apparently. Because one of the headmasters (we have two) told the whole school that there was this proposal among that local politicians that would force this school to save 4.6 million crowns.

4.6 MILLION crowns??!??! That would be around 523 000 US dollars!

Geezes fuck. And according to the school-staff, this was most certainly going to be decided on. And soon to. They were literary tears in their eyes as they told us, the staff, about this.

Now, the headmasters are not my bosses, I have a library boss. So when the headmasters told us they wanted us to write down all consequences we could think off that could happen if this proposal was decided on and then hand it in to them… I, of course, called her. She’s a mentor as well as a boss to me.

She didn’t know anything about this, told me not to write down anything, and she’d look into it. Right on. I do trust her. She’s like a war-general with a heart of gold.

So I relaxed about it, but felt really bad for the school. This is not good. This school is in one of the most troubled areas in Sweden. There’s a lot of refugees, a lot of poverty, a lot of crime, a lot of violence… In the school to. We have young criminals as young as 12-13 years old. :-/

This proposal where the school have to save this much would destroy the school. Not even joking.

What would effect me the most is that those that are hired to keep the peace in the corridors (and who also work at the community youth centers in the area), would have to go. And these guys DO SO MUCH for the teens, and they do SO MUCH to just make everyone feel safe and calm during a normal day.

These troubled teens, these hooligans, they don’t listen to anyone. But they do listen a bit at least to them adults.

So if they are gone? Things will be SERIOUSLY chaotic at work.

In other words, it would be impossible for me to work there. :-/ Which breaks my heart into little pieces. But I can’t work there if these more or less criminal hooligans get free reign of the corridors at the school. They’d just recruit more for the gangs in the area and there’d be even more crime in the school and… and…

Not to mention that my position would end up being just 20 hours a week in the school-library instead of 40 hours a week, as it is now. And I can barely manage on 40 hours??!?!?!? So, yeah...

Well, you see my point, I hope you know. So, I am keeping an open mind when new positions show up. In a month or two will know what will happen.

Of course it effects the teachers and the rest of the staff a lot to, but I’m not into the details there. The fact those peacekeeping people disappears though if so? That effects EVERYONE!!!

It’s just really fucking horrible.

According to my library boss the Department responsible for Education in the city and the Department responsible for Culture…. They don’t talk to each other. The information between the departments does not get where it needs to. So my boss and the libraries had no idea about all this, until I called her.

The local newspaper and the public service TV channel have found out about it to, so now they local politicians have media breathing down their neck.

They deserve it. This school and the school in the other equally as problematic area are the ones that are supposed to save the most money according to this proposal.

HOW THE FUCK DID THEY THINK THERE?!??!?!?! Just last year they told us and the city they were going to give MORE money to these schools, and now instead we get less.

*shakes head*

I’m sure I’ve missed stuff for this post, but this is the gist of it.

I guess I’ll get back to this again when I know more.

These kids/teens and this area does not deserve this, to be honest. *heavy sigh*

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Snowflake Challange Day 4 and 5

kseenaa — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 23:11:47 GMT

♥ Day 1 ♥ Day 2 ♥ Day 3 ♥ Day 4 ♥ Day 5

Day 4

In your own space, create a fannish wishlist. No limits on size or type of fanwork; just tell us what you’d like to see.

Oh… gawd… I mean, I don’t really read fanfic anymore, but I do have a loooong list of prompts that I wrote down once when there was a lot of fic-fests all over the Tokio Hotel fandom. I still have all them prompts. Some elaborate and some not so much. I really should post them, shouldn’t I?

Also, one thing I’d like to see is more fanfic with the rare pairings. You know what I mean. In all fandoms I’ve been in, there’s one pairing that ends up the most popular and EVERYONE writes that pairing it feels like. I never fall for those popular pairings. I always fall for the rare ones, the odd once.

A wish I have for ANY fandom really is that fanfic writers and fanart artists dared to stretch their limits a bit. Dared to try something new. Dared to step away from the most popular characters/pairings.

I think that’s my main wish really. :-)

Day 5

Recommend a fannish or creative resource.

Not really sure if this counts, but…

I really really do like Tokio Hotel Fanfiction. That archive doesn’t only gather to my love of the RP-slash written there. No. It does tickle my librarian nerd as well. Because it’s really well organized. As a librarian I can see a few flaws, but compared to other fanfic-archives this is probably one of the best archives when it comes to ease to find a fic you’d like. :-)

Can’t talk resources without mentioning AO3! That to is very easy to find in. To the point I’ve even used it in class in schools when talking about fanfiction and about archives. :-D The best part with tthis one is that you can find fic from more obscure fandoms and old ones. I mean, I’ve found fic for Elfquest AND for Robin of Sherwood there! Rare indeed!

And let's not forget my favorite swedish podcast! Tronspelet! If that's not a podcast made by fans for fans, I don't know what! Sadly though, since Game of Thrones are a on a break until next year, so is Tronspelet.

Not sure if I have any How To Do a certain thing though. :-P

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Icon meme!

kseenaa — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 22:24:42 GMT

I got tagged by yueshi to do this. She picked out three of my icons for me to comment on. :-D So here goes. Just because I decided to start posting again, I get a lot of fun stuff to post… *LOL*

So this is the meme:

If you want me to pick a set for you, reply "ME TOO ME TOO!" and I'll choose 3 of your icons for you to talk about in your own journal, and pass this around by making the same offer.

And here’s mine:

Made by: magic_art

Ah, one of my favorite icons. Do I even have to explain why? :-) I mean, a cat sitting and looking as mysterious as a cat can in front of a gorgeous full moon. It’s been years since I found this and the other icons made by the same maker. But they remain some of my favorites. The colours, the composition… Just everything! I love it!

Made by: hovercarracer

Ares! God of War himself! :-D Portrayed by Kevin Smith, bless him. He is no longer with us, having an fatal accident JUST when he was about to make it big. A great loss. Not only did he portray Ares absolutely awesomely! He was apparently wonderful with his fans. Sadly, I never got to meet him. But Ares… Ah, Ares. What an AWESOME portrayal of Ares Kevin Smith did in Xena and in Hercules. So over the top it actually worked! *lol* Pretty nice eye-candy to. Doesn’t hurt. ;-)

Made by: magic_art

A naked curvy redheaded woman. Just like that. To celebrate curves and beauty pretty much. I have a few icons with naked curvy women, and I love them all. There’s nothing wrong with curves, and they should be celebrated. I just really love this picture and how the maker turned it into an icon. :-)

I hope that amused you a little? :-)

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Snowflake Challenge Day 1, 2 and 3!

kseenaa — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 23:21:44 GMT

♥ Day 1 ♥ Day 2 ♥ Day 3 ♥

Day 1

In your own space, talk about why you're participating in Snowflake and, if you’ve participated in the past, how the challenge has affected you. What drew you to it? What did you take away from it? What do you hope to accomplish this year?

I've never participated before, but I've seen it around here and there. I never know what fandom to focus on though, since I've been in so many. But this year I decided to hell with it and to join in! :-D I'll just focus on whatever fandom I feel the most inspired for that particular post. :-)

What I hope it'll accomplish for me this year is to make sure I got used to post regularly in my journal again. After all these years, this has become a home of mine. I just don't always post. :-P I hope others will find it interesting to. Hopefully. I don't think my posts will be very long though. :-)

Day 2

In your own space, share a favorite memory about fandom: the first time you got into fandom, the last time a fanwork touched your heart, crazy times with fellow fans (whether on-line or off-line), a lovely comment you’ve received or have left for someone.

First time I got into fandom? Oh gawd.... Well, me and my best friend Yllytyg did fandomstuff without knowing it was that we were doing during the 1990's when we were watching Robin of Sherwood on TV and bonded over it. But we didn't have internet then, nor computers. And no connections to get a hold of any fanzines of any sort either.

The fandom I properly discovered online and that there were things called fanart and fanfic that was Xena the WarriorPrincess. I got a computer and everything then. So yeah, then I started to be active in a fandom.

My favorite fandom-memory must be the one and only convention I went to. A Xena convention at a hotel really close to Heathrow Airport in London. I got to meet some of the actors (not Lucy Lawless nor Renee O'Connor, but quite a few of my favorite villians...). But the best part about that con was that a lot of people from the board/forum I frequented daily back then had decided to meet up there. And we were from ALL OVER THE WORLD! So that was AMAZING and one of my favorite fandom memories. :-)

Day 3

In your own space, post recs for at least three fanworks that you did not create.

Knowing quite a few writers, I'm bound to hurt someones feelings. So I apologize beforehand if I didn't rec a work you think I should have.

Going through my bookmarks and cleaning them up, I was so happy to find this Robin of Sherwood fic. It remains an amazing story no matter how you look at it.

Another substitute for screaming - Robin of Loxley/Will Scarlet. Dealing with loss the outlaw way... It's.. somewhat dark with mayor character death and stuff, but yeah. Amazing. Just as old as the TV-show I'd guess, and still holds up well to this day.

Age of Unreason - You want something epic? I give you this. The world the writer builds in this is just... I have no words. It's dark. Extremly dark. And, of course, it's Spike who gets the bad end of the stick here. The pairings from the Buffy-verse are all over the place. I think she manages to get nearly all, fanon and canon and everything in between. But what sticks with me is the world she builds in this. It's a very long fic, but if you have time and the stomach (see: extremly dark), it's so worht it! Also, you need to friend glassdarklyuk to be able to read it.

Transition - I actually helped the writer with this. Not beta, I suck at grammar. But to iron out the story. And what a story it is... It centers around Georg, this story. Yeah, it's Tokio Hotel, so RP-slash and all. Anyway, this is again an extremly dark story, so beware of that. Transgender issues, dangers when it comes to gay clubs, rape drugs... There's just so much going on here. And the story is just out of this world. Do read it if you can stomach it!

Sugar I'm going down - A fic actually written for me. I know. I've had a few fics written for me in the Tokio Hotel fandom, and it is just as amazing every time! This is, again, very dark and deals with mental issues so beautiful. This whole fic is just... I have no words. None. Just read it. During all my active fandom-years, this is one of my absolut favorite fics, no joke.

When you're talking Tokio Hotel fanfic, there's a few writers that I just have to mention.

Snowstormskies - Who ended up a very dear friend of mine, and who writes emotion like I don't even know what. She really gets into the head off her characters.

Raiju What patience earns, King of Kings... Do I even have to say more? I've still to finish off King of Kings, because I just can't even... o.O

Steinsgrrl - What to say off her? She ran the fiction archive for quite a long time. She's been around in the fandom for very long to and is an all around amazing person and writer.

and last but not least

Zarlina - who is probably one of the most productive writers I know! And she's GOOD to!

And if I've forgotten any writers that I know, PLEASE forgive me!!!

Right on, I have a hole in a tooth that hurts like a motherfucker, so tomorrow morning there will be a visit to the dentist. Feel sorry for me? More fandom stuff tomorrow!

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Reading, listening and watching in 2017...

kseenaa — Wed, 03 Jan 2018 22:37:11 GMT

And onwards, I should probably say. Because it’s not like I’ll stop doing either of those things. :-)

Here goes…

I do track the books I’ve read on Goodreads.Com, so you can always track me there if you’d like. And if you want to see my year in books the way they’d tracked it, you can do so here: KSena’s Year in Books 2017.

I only read 12 books and graphic novels. But I’m a slow reader that usually feel too stressed to read, so that would be the reason why there. I have, however, started to listen to audiobooks, which makes me feel less stressed. I can listen to audiobooks when I’m on the bus or when I do dishes or vacuum or whatever.

And there I’ve punctured the myth of librarians reading a ton of books… *LOL* I, obviously, don’t. :-)

These are the books I’ve read (link to my review in the title):

Making the rounds with Oscar - about a cat in an elderly home that can sense when a patient is about to die… and the doctor that tries to figure out why that is. REALLY interesting, even if you’re not a cat-person.

Endometrios: Mensvärken från helvetet - a swedish book about how it is to live with Endomatriosis and how you can tackle doctors and nurses and tips and ideas for those living with endo-sufferers and just… a lot of really good info. This book needs to be translated to english stat.

The story of my life - about the life of Helen Keller. I’ve always been curious about her since seeing a movie about her. And even though this was in her words and interesting, it was also… extremely dull here and there.

Street Cat Bob - also a story I’ve been curious at. Listened to this through an audiobook service here in Sweden, and it worked really well! A really good book, heart wrenching story! Seen the movie to!

Trump och vredens Amerika - some seriously effective finnish journalists who wrote a book about Trump and how he managed to get a hold of power the way he did. They also try to figure out how he ended up the man he is. It was VERY interesting and I like how they’d split up the book in various sections.

Monster - a biography by and about the biggest YouTube star in Sweden, Joakim ‘Jockiboi’ Lundell. And I was RAGING when I listened to this audiobook!!! I read it since I wanted to know what the deal was with this guy, and why the kids/teens at the school I work was all over him. The fangirling/fanboying over this guy is off the charts. And he puts both Edward from Twilight AND infamous Mr Grey to shame… My GAWD! What an absolutely HORRIBLE guy this man is! o.O Aptly named book...

Ibland mår jag inte så bra - a biography by and about the biggest female YouTube star in Sweden, Therese Lindgren. My expectations was way low when I started listening to this, and it turned out to be a really good book about mental health!

Kris vid trekaffet - about a retired couple and their daily lifes and how they deal with their children and grandchildren. Sounds dull? Not in this graphic novel! The dialogue is great, and the odd style in the drawings just match up. A lovely little gem.

När mammorna blev kära - a very easy to read book for 8-12 year old kids about two divorced mothers that fall in love with each other and how their daughters deal with it. A VERY important book! I read it once it had arrived to the library, and it was really good! It’s been read aloud in a few classes at the school, and the discussions have been both wild and civil. So important with LGBT+ books for ALL ages!!!

Spelet är spelet - a book I bought for the library since a teen at school (almost or nearly a hooligan…) wanted to read it. So I did to, or listened to the audiobook. It’s written by Leo Carmona and is heavily based on how he grew up, how he ended up a criminal extremely young and why and the issues that Sweden has today (we do, although not as bad as a certain president and his supporters claim…). This was good. VERY good. And very eye opening to me. I have a greater understanding for my hooligans after reading this. I don’t condone what they do or how they act, but I can understand why. Makes sense?

Hungerhuset - was just a LOVELY little horror graphic novel! The images was GORGEOUS! Detailed, sharp and black and white. Swedish comic-artists are SO GOOD at horror! Seriously! And this one was definitely one of those really good ones! Such a nice read!

Svinet - was seriously a feel-bad story (instead of a feel-good one). And Åsa Grennvall is SO GOOD at this! Especially at showing emotion in her characters faces. And it’s some scary emotions in this. A lot of mental illness among the female characters, and then there’s the man that is in the center of the story… Extremely abusive and manipulative man. I feel the most for his mother, in this story. Even if she is… not quite well or OK either. I don’t know why I like Grennvall’s stories, they are really horrid stories. But I do love them. For some reason.

So that’s what I’ve been reading this year. I know orangerful for example read more than that in a month. But I’m slow and I can’t really settle down and relax with a book. *shrug* Thank heavens for audiobooks. Goal for 2018? Read more than 12 books, so I can beat 2017 at least. :-)

I might take a leaf from orangerful and make a post as soon as I’ve read something? Don’t expect to see that to frequently though. ;-)

When I haven’t been reading I’ve been watching TV-shows and listened to podcasts.

Podcasts are really my new love! Seriously!

Mostly I listen to swedish podcasts through the app that Sveriges Radio has (Sweden's national publicly funded radio broadcaster). They make a lot of good radio shows and they are ALL saved in their massive archive so you can listen to them whenever you want.

Brilliant says I. :-) So I listen to a few of my favorites.

Ligga med P3 - A pod/radio show about sex. Plain and simple. And they are do not sugarcoat anything. They talk about EVERYTHING!!!! :-D And they are great fun to listen to, not taking themselves seriously at all. A GREAT listen!

P3 Dokumentär - A pod/radio show that is like a documentary you see on TV. I mean, it’s SO well made! They put sounds to it as if it was a movie and they make sure to interview as many as possible…. And it’s just… so well made. The BEST pod/radio show that Sveriges Radio has to offer, according to me!

P3 Historia - I’m a history-nerd and this pod/radio show is ALL about history! They take a historic person or event and then they nerd out as much as possible about it/him/her during the show. It’s great! Really really good to listen to!

P3 Spel - This is about games to consoles and to computers. All the games all the time! It’s really good and the hosts are SO FUN to listen to! Any interests in games whatsoever, this is the one for you!

Radiosporten Dokumentär - I’m not into sports usually, so I don’t listen to all the episodes to this one, since this is the main sport-channel that Sveriges Radio has and this is their documentary show. But since I do LOVE documentaries, this pod/show is really good to, since there are quite a lot of sport personalities that are really interesting as well! So some of these documentaries are really good to!

Sommar & Vinter i P1 - This is a classic pod/show, especially during summer. P1 invites a certain number off more or less famous people to talk on air for 1½ hours about… whatever they want! And the person gets to choose the music to. During end of December and beginning of January they do the same thing. I don’t listen to all, only those that I find interesting as people. But it’s a good pod/show!

Then there’s my second favorite from Sveriges Radio:

USA podden - It started out as a podcast/radio show to report on the latest election in the USA. But since it got so popular and since Trump won and everyone here in Sweden wants to know what is going on… It has continued even after the election. The hosts doing this are experts on US-politics in one way or another and most have lived or do live in the USA their job being to report back to Sweden what is going on. So it’s very interesting to listen to.

Not a podcasts from Sveriges Radio, but there is another favorite I have, but it’s on hiatus right now for obvious reasons, and thats…

Tronspelet (meaning literary game of thrones) - These hosts watched the Game of Thrones episodes as soon as they could here in Sweden (long live HBO Nordic!), and then they sat down and discussed it, as many itty bitty details they could think about. And the sense of humour among these, my GOODNESS!! X-D They are HILARIOUS! And I so hope they’ll continue once Game of Thrones comes back with it’s last season!

There’s ONE english speaking podcast that I follow with regularity and that’s:

My Favorite Murder - I know, I know… A comedy show about murder? How does that even work, you ask? I can’t even describe it. It’s all about the hosts, Georgia and Karen. And the way they discuss and tell about the murders they’ve researched for each episode. It’s awesome. I’ve ALMOST listened to every single episode now from start. And I’m definitely a murderino (fan) by this point. :-D

I’ve listened to a couple of other podcasts as well, but just an episode here and there. Oh My Heck needs a mention (about how the mormon church works form an ex-mormon, in english), Död Mans Podd (school librarian doing a horror-pod), Spår (going into detail during several episodes about a swedish crime) and Mordpodden (similar to My Favorite Murder, but in swedish). I haven’t listened to all the episodes here, and I probably should. Maybe I will when I’m all caught up with My Favorite Murder? Who knows?

When it comes to TV-shows (and Netflix shows), there’s one pretty obvious one…

Game of Thrones - Oh my anything holy shit! That is ONE well made TV-show, that’s for sure! I have no words. To me, it just keeps getting better. Unfortunately I have to wait until 2019 to see the end of the whole thing. But man. What a STORY!!!! And no, I haven’t read the books. :-P

And there’s these that are worth a mention:

American Horror Story Hotel - I was hesitant since I get nightmares easily, but I saw a series of gifs with Lady Gaga and since I DO love vampires… Well, I watched this season, and it was REALLY good! Here someone have done their own take on the vampire-myth and they did it CLEVERLY. Really good!

Frontier - Totally blame Jason Momoa for this, but really. This show is so much more than him. That things were rough in North America when the europeans invaded, that I knew. And I bet they’re not far off with how harsh and gory it was here. The twists and turns makes my head spin sometimes, but overall, a great watch!

RuPaul’s Dragrace - Not much need be said. X-D This is my guilty pleasure. And when I’ve felt really low, this show has picked me right up!

I love documentaries and true crime, can you tell, so…

Making a murderer - how a crime can grow into an avalanche that is unstoppable… even if the convicted is innocent to start. This was really interesting. US? There’s some really fucked up things going on in your justice system. *shakes head*

Killer couples - A british show that tells the stories about couples that murder together… and it tries to figure out why and how and so on. Really interesting!

The Keepers - Just started this, and oh my world! It’s SO GOOD! Catholic priests school girls and choir boys, I tell you…. *shakes head* About the murder of the nun Sister Cathy, and it’s so good. So horrible and so good, I can not get enough. I am sure I’ll return to this in a post once I’ve finished it. :-)

Right, so… That was my lists! Kudos if you managed to read all that. :-) I’m sure there’s trailers and info all over the internet for all these, but I’m sure you all know how to use Google to find out more. ;-)

I’ve seen the Snowflake Challenge here and there on my friends journals, and I admit that I’m considering joining in.

Shorter posts then, I’m sure, but just to get back into the habit. :-)

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

I've been here so long...

kseenaa — Wed, 03 Jan 2018 09:34:01 GMT

*grabs walker and starts dusting off journal* Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear... *sounds like a grandma*

The year 2017 and journaling/blogging...

kseenaa — Sun, 31 Dec 2017 01:43:22 GMT

A month later and here I am again. Guess I can't stay away. :-) End of 2017. I guess a little reflection of the year is in order.

Don't know really where to start. :-) It's been a pretty good year, most of it. Apart from the autumn this year. Less good that one.

Early 2017 was good. The winter-part and the spring-part. I do work a lot, and I do enjoy it.

I feel like I started to grow into my professional role a lot this year over all. And it started this year, pretty much. I feel more confident. And I know what to do, how to do it.

One thing I do know though, and I am working on it, is that I want to do to much. I have a lot of ideas. Things I want to do at work. But there's never enough time, you know? I did get more time this year. Before I worked only 30 hours a week at the school and 10 hours at a neighboring library. This year I got 40 hours to work only in the school, so that's good. More time. But there's never enough time when you are the sole responsible for EVERYTHING at a workplace, is it? :-)

So this autumn it just got a bit to much with work, family and everything. Usually the autumn blues does not effect me. I've never suffered from it. But this year... This year it hit. Hard. Hard as fuck. Depressed friends told me I showed signs of depression, and that might be true. I had no energy for anything. And I pulled back from socializing with anyone at all, even my best friend. And I stopped logging into my chat programs. Which I used to do a lot before. I just didn't have the energy. I didn't have any energy left at all when I came home from work, and I constantly felt like I lacked there to, despite my boss and colleagues telling me otherwise. The teachers and other staff at school think I do a great job to, but at that time I couldn't take that in. So that was not a fun part of 2017.

And lets not start on the political climate in the world these days. That's a depressing state for sure. Fuck Trump. And that's all I'll say on that, or this post will be even more of a downer.

The Swedish political climate isn't to much fun either, since Sverige Demokraterna, which is the alt-right here in Sweden has far to much power. And is gaining it. And there's far to many areas in Sweden where crime is running rampant (and the school I'm working in is in one of them areas...), but trying to beat it with racism is not the answer. Racism and hate never is.

*sigh* So that was the less than good part about this post, but it's reality, so that's that.

But despite how I've felt about my job, I do like it! Even though I struggle with my hooligans, when I'm alone with them, they're so nice to talk to! It's when they come in a group, things get crazy. And the other kids/teens at the school are WONDERFUL! There's about 700 kids/teens at the school now, and the hooligans are around... 10-15 kids/teens. Soooo many refugee kids though, or children of refugees. Hence why I work my ass off to make sure they get the best possible help to make it here in Sweden. To do that, you need to know how to read...

As you can see much of my life is... work...

Then there's Alexandra, of course. The best thing in my life. :-) She grows SO FAST! It's crazy! And she's growing up to be a really good kid. :-) Spoiled, yes. Both grandma's really do love to spoil her rotten. *lol* No wonder my MIL wants to, since Alexandra is her only grandkid. :-)

She cares a lot of her friends and her cousins. She really loves them. So I hope when she starts school she'll have her friends in the same class. Fingers crossed. Her big cousin Tilda, who is 10 years old, is Alexandras big idol. She follows her like a little puppy when we're at the same spot, and she learns a lot from her.

One thing she's really gotten from Tilda is the love off horses. Alexandra started riding this year, and she has really taken to it! She's always been very shy, but not when she's at the stable. She's really outgoing there, and not afraid of the horses at all. :-D At this riding school you don't only learn how to ride on the horse, but also how to take care of the horse. The whole thing. And she's not afraid to get her hands dirty. Not at all. So that's really impressive! And she's getting really good at riding to, for her age. :-D So I'm totally happy with driving her to the stable once a week. Eventually there'll be more than once a week, I know. But I'm fine with it, since it seems to be good for her, not only physically but mentally to! And she loves it! Win-win!

Her teachers/caregivers at daycare says she is doing really well at daycare to, she's popular with the other kids. She likes to learn new things. To try new things and to explore. And to help her friends when needed. Only time she ends up cranky is when she can't run the games she does with her friends. I think that comes from her being an only child and always deciding the games herself at home.

Another bad thing is that she's inherited two bad qualities from me and Peting... My tendency to 'disappear' in my fantasies, to the point I dream while being awake and not hear or see what's going on around me. So people have to touch me or call out for me to snap me out of it. Alexandra does this to, especially when tired, morning or evening.

Another thing, that she got from Peting, is her absolutely HORRID morning-temper! Now, I don't expect anyone to be cheerful at 6am in the morning which is the time I wake her up, but my GAWD! There's some serious fights quite often when she just refuses to do anything at all, and fights and hits me to get out of it. I've been brought to tears some mornings because I've been so frustrated and this autumn and winter I've been late for work nearly every morning. :-/ Peting is like that to. Well, he is not fighting, but I do avoid going into the kitchen until he's taken a seat and started on his breakfast. Just saying.

Right, so... This last month or two, I've started doing a lot better. I even start feeling an urge to go back to the vampire-LARP, which we stopped doing as well this year. We took a break, but now I'm started to feel energy and urge to go back to that to. They've done a restart this year, so instead of vampires in the modern age, the LARP is now set in the medieval times. Medieval vampires... We'll see if I can figure something out for it. I've noticed that many of the LARPers that moved away from this city for work and education has started to move back again. It would be fun to play against them again. :-)

So as you can see, even though this year has been tougher than previous years, I'm still going out on top. At least that's how it feels like to me. :-) I do have hopes for 2018. Alexandra is starting school! So that's going to be interesting! Onward to 2018!

Books, movies, tv-shows... I'll just have to make a separate post for that! Kudos if anyone had the energy to read through all that!

I made a deal with hexenhasel today to be better at posting, and I'll try to do that. I'm not sure I can jump back so far to catch up, so if there's any post you want me to read specificlly, link to it in a comment or just tell me whatever you want me to know. :-) I'll jump back until December 1'st, and then keep up from that.

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Current state of me...

kseenaa — Mon, 20 Nov 2017 22:17:42 GMT

You know… Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me. Or if it’s not something wrong with me. Not sure. I just know the only thing I have energy for is watching TV-shows on Netflix and playing World of Warcraft.

And hey ho, with that comes guilt. Because before I was online chatting with friends to. And now I have no energy for that. :-/ So I’ve lost touch with snowstormskies and duodeathstar. They both probably hate me right now, since I never log in. And if I do log in, I’d have to explain why I’ve been absent. And I have no explanation. More than lack of energy, and how does that sound?

Maybe I should write emails with them instead? Hmm… I’ll think on that for a bit.

It’s been a lot of fun to go back to WoW though! So relaxing! Started a new character to be a support to Alexandra's worgen druid. Yeah, she’s playing to. Although not on her own, peting73 is doing the actual playing, but Alexandra is in charge of what her character should do. He is reading, translating, the quests and asks her if they should help the quest-giver or not. And where to go and so on and so forth. So it’s a feral druid, since she likes her character to be a cat as much as possible and that her character can claw the butt on her enemies. *LOL* So I made a priest so when she ends up in higher levels (far, FAR in the future), she’ll have a pocket-healer to keep her alive. :-)

The family that WoW’s together *cough*

Apart from playing WoW, I’ve also started to go through my long list I’ve made on Netflix with interesting TV-shows. And I also have a couple of YouTube channels that I follow.

And when I game, I listen to a couple of various podcasts, mostly in swedish, but also in english.

I really should make a list of this, shouldn’t I? I’ve listened to a few books as well. I’ve not really done that before, but there were two books that A LOT of the teens/kids at my school wanted to read, so I wanted to know what the hell it was all about, you know? But being too stressed out to sit down and read a book, I listened to them instead. And now I’m getting into listening to books that way. I’ve missed reading books, reading stories, so it’s nice to get into that again.

And then there’s some of my friends. First off, this can be a little bit triggering. And definitely very important note… I AM NOT BLAMING ANYONE!!! NOT AT ALL!!!

But I have a couple of friends on Twitter that are suicidal. And I’ve always been supportive. Always, always. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. It’s the core of who I am. A helper, a supporter, a rock, a steady tree with my roots deep in the soil where others can find shade and support. That’s me.

But lately I’ve been tiring. And I’m feeling so guilty about that to, it’s like I turn my back on who I am. But I just… can’t give the support I used to anymore. It’s why I’ve pulled back more, you could say. Here on LJ it’s easier, somehow. Somewhat on Twitter to, and Instagram. In chatt? Nope. I look at my chat program, and I just… can’t logg in right now.

So I’m sorry if I’m not a good supporter right now, everyone. I really and honestly am.

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.