In my last post (you can read it here), I shared the evolution of my relationship with the Christmas—from the wide-eyed magic of childhood to the grief I experienced at thirteen, and finally the creativity and joy I found in adulthood. We also explored how holidays are essentially invitations to remember virtues we may want to embody all year long.

Now let’s look a little deeper at the holiday and what it means to us. One of Christmas’s best features is that it can bring people together and cultivate a spirit of unity. When people come together in one accord, it can create a palpable feeling or energy in the atmosphere. We might call it “The Christmas Spirit.” This can bring us closer together in harmony. But one of the downsides of Christmas is when we put the tradition above the actual individuals who are celebrating. We can lose ourselves in the preparation, letting the stress run us into the ground, forgetting that the holiday is for us, not the other way around.

And we can’t talk about Christmas without addressing the aspect of giving gifts. When I was growing up, I was always told that Christmas wasn’t about presents. So, as I grew up, I started playing the game of pretending the gifts didn’t matter, as if spirituality meant having to practice self-denial. As an adult, I wrestled with guilt over loving the gift-giving aspect until I realized there isn’t anything wrong with that. Giving and receiving gifts is joyful and fun. Why should we pretend it’s not? We shouldn’t feel pressured to give gifts, but we shouldn’t feel guilty for enjoying them either.

The act of giving gifts during wintertime is a custom in various cultures throughout history because it is a way of creating light and joy in the darker months. The ancient Romans celebrated Saturnalia in December with gift-giving—exchanging wax candles and clay figurines. Norse cultures shared gifts during the twelve nights of Yule. Even the Dutch tradition of Sinterklaas, which evolved into our modern Santa Claus, centered around giving gifts on December 5th. These ancient practices show our need to connect with others and bring light into the dark.

So I’ve now come to realize the beauty of the holiday season is that it is whatever we make of it. While for some, it may be a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus, for others, it’s a season of love, family, or even the magic of Santa Claus. Ultimately, we are the authors of meaning in our lives, so we also give meaning and significance to the holidays. These celebrations exist not for us to conform to, but rather, for us to infuse with our own personal joy and spirit.

There’s something wonderfully authentic about embracing what truly brings us joy. Many times, we feel pressured to deny or downplay material pleasures in favor of supposedly more spiritual or serious aspects of celebrations. But the joy of giving and receiving gifts is a tangible expression of care, thoughtfulness, and love. This realization freed me from the guilt of enjoying the “material” side of the season. I stopped trying to force myself into a proper spiritual box that ignored the joy of giving.

When we look back, we see that humanity has always used the physical to anchor the spiritual. Long before our modern traditions, our ancestors understood that when the world outside turns cold and dark, sometimes the most “spiritual” thing you can do is create a physical manifestation of warmth and abundance.

The ancient Romans didn’t exchange clay figurines during Saturnalia because they were “materialistic.” They did it because, in the heart of winter, the act of giving brought them inner warmth. The more I understood that our imagination creates reality, the more I realized that giving and receiving gifts represent an internal feeling, a reality we create within ourselves. Whether it was the ancient Romans exchanging wax candles or me staying up late to create a masterpiece under the tree, they were both an externalization of the love and abundance we feel within.

So this holiday season, let’s set aside any guilt because of what we think the season should mean. We are the reason for the season, each of us free to find and create our own meaning in these darkest days of winter, whether through spiritual celebration, family gatherings, or yes, the pure joy of giving and receiving gifts.

A Christmas Card I created back in 2008

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