The Next Chapter In My Life.

I'm like Randall from Clerks 2. We're taking it back, LJ!

koapthesql — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 04:55:04 GMT

So I'm coming back. Three orders of biznazz:
- Rename Journal
- Redecorate
- Re-friend

So I'm not keeping KOAP. It's just not me. I'm thinking of renaming to KOAPtheSQL, which is a nod to the past, and a nod to the present, because I'm a database analyst and I write dozens of SQL queries a day. Geeky, but if I'm going to plunk money on a rename token. Meh I'll probably just do it. I'm probably going to go friends only, mainly because of yanno. moms. exes. Gateways to either.

I guess with the plunking of money I can properly redecorate. Probably something mobile-friendly because the mobile apps for LJ are frankly, not that great at all. I really just wanted to be able to view my own journal which apparently is difficult unless I'm just a moran. Totally possible.

I'd like to reconnect with as many folks and catch up with as many people as I can. So if you know of people, let me know. LETS TAKE BACK LJ!

last updated 2007-08-23. that was 4 years ago.

koapthesql — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 04:15:58 GMT

It's funny, I look back at what I've said and done and I don't regret anything. I read my profile to my gf and we both laughed. Because I was 27 when I wrote that. I'm 33 now and well, I guess things have changed. Maybe. :)

I have no idea what this new LJ is, I haven't even looked around. I don't even get on my Facebook as much.

But times have changed. I'm thinking of rejuvenating LJ. Or some other presence. Not sure. But I just wanted you all to know that I'm alive and still ticking. Find me on G+ or FB if you like if you haven't already.

--c

probably the last one.

koapthesql — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 07:04:44 GMT

Since I use my MySpace for mostly my photo business stuff (http://www.myspace.com/csoriano), I figure I gotta have a personal place to say hi and what not. So I think, even though I've been rather disappointed with LJ's direction in terms of their choices, that I'm going to start a new one and finally retire KOAP, thank you for reading it. So yanno, if I take your picture and you like it, that you're not afraid to say that I took it on your journal. hahaha. So if I add you, man you better add me back, or there'll be some furniture moving in this piece! jk. I miss you all, I really do.

So to say adieu, here's something beautiful that's of course NSFW, thanks to the wonderful Rodney Carrington. It's from his latest thing called Live at the Majestic I think? And it's a moving, powerful song that brought me to tears called "Show Them To Me". And yes, it is NSFW.

Anyhow. I hope you enjoyed. here's something I did recently of some recent stuff. Once I get the new LJ, so SO much more to post, pics and news. What should I name it...ideas? Come say hi, ok? wannash[at]gmail[dot]com. hahaha. you wanna shat eh? ok i'm silly.

blech. i think i'm getting sick.

koapthesql — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 09:08:17 GMT

surprise! I'm still alive. I think so at least.

For those of you wondering, yes, mortgage lending is in a bloodbath right now. My company is just fine, in fact we're reaping the benefits of all these prime and subprime lenders going under. 33 to be exact as of today. I can't say it's a beautiful thing b/c the internal people all have families to feed and what not, but the housing bubble has officially burst. housing values are taking a dive thanks to crooked appraisers from the last 3 years, investors are no longer buying/servicing 100% loans and people are seriously just walking out on their loans. I heard one lady foreclosed on her house, didn't make a single payment b/c she didn't like her loan and when the lender asked about payment, she asked where to mail her keys.

Amazing. We'll see what happens. I've been a very busy boy. Day job is crazy b/c of all the fallout. All those loans are now making their way to us. And photography is doing great. I had a moment where I completely burned out. I was getting no love, I felt used and abused and I didn't feel validated. I tore down my MySpace, my Model Mayhem and Glamour1 profiles. I was just tired of it all. But I got over it. And I'm pleased with the way things are going. I can't expound on everything, but here's what's up:

- I'm the official photographer of the 2007 Central Valley Tattoo Expo. April 28-29, if you love tattoos, if you love Kat Von D, you have to come. I'll be there snapping, and I'm just jazzed at the business potential that will come from this.
- I'm represented. My friend and photo assistant Megan and her friend Tonya started a marketing company. I am their first official client and they have done great things getting my name out and handling my bookings. If it weren't for their connections I would not be where I am. Watch out for Luma Marketing!
- Don't tell my mama, but I might be shooting..ahem. adult pictures. I've been contacted by some industry peoples. Won't say more b/c I don't want to ruin it. We'll see. I LOVE and IDOLIZE Suze Randall. Her photos and videos are so technically sound for porn. She makes it beautiful.
- I will be shooting my first catalog soon. :) Details are still a little sketchy, but you just might see me shooting for a popular local store.

Anyhow, I'm feeling like poo, so I'm gonna step away, but if anyone local wants to wear a swimsuit for moi, I wanna practice for an event that I'm doing in May in Pismo. I wanna shoot swimsuit on the famed Blossom Trail, where rows and rows of crops have their blooming flowers. It's really pretty.

I really do miss you all and reading as much as I used to. When I'm not at work, I'm working on pics or shooting. I get on maybe for 30-45 mins a day, and it's normally on MySpace b/c they allow 300 pics. Speaking of that, wanna see my work? go there: http://www.myspace.com/csoriano I have a slideshow right there. Add me if you haven't already! :)

I've had so many great lil shoots since the 1st of the year. I'm pleased with what I've done.
This is Nicole. she's hot mama.

This is Krystal. She did a cartwheel in front of me. wearing a naughty schoolgirl outfit. She's like my little sister. except like. hot.

This is Adult Star Sicky NiXxX. Cool guy, I'm shooting his stuff for his upcoming thing, The White Trash Project. He's actually a really accomplished musician and nice guy. With a huge wang.

My Valentine's Day Card. B/c it's fun to tie someone to a chair.

Amanda the Muse:

Cody as my spin on Foxy Cleopatra, and my take on a MAC ad, kinda:

Recent Chris sightings (i've been on a diet and have lost weight! go green tea go!)
sarah-rochelle and I

Krystal and I

Sicky NiXxX and I

Anyhow. enough of that. hope you enjoyed and i'll be back again soon. much love to you all, and God bless anyone who's overseas fighting wars. My sister's fiancee Alan just left the other day. I pray that he comes back to her good as new. Other than that, please pray for my knee and my taint. I fell off a chair taking a pic of Amanda doing a backbend in 4" heels. the chair buckled, the bottom smacked the inside of my knee, and I fell and took the majority of the back of the chair? In my junk. More specifically. my taint. Don't know what a taint is? Google that shit. It's a word, to quote Dane Cook. love you all.

woohoo. jetlag.

koapthesql — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 22:41:21 GMT

Happy New Year! I spent it passed out b/c of jetlag. Didn't even realize it passed, honestly. I must say, that I completely love my family. I will also say that I need to get drunk more often. And that when everyone has to work, a week is really too short. Got in Xmas night and it was an ordeal. My sister and her fiance are just a fun comedy of errors. But I got to eat at places I haven't in a while. Sonny's BBQ, KRYSTAL!!! and that is it I think. I didn't get Guthrie's, Bennigan's, Waffle House, etc. I'm a bit sad about that now that I think about it. Maybe I'll take the next 3day and figure out how to get to FL, if not, just to TX b/c they got all that shit too. Dallas was BEAUTIFUL both ways. Orlando was *85* degrees. I wanted to choke a bitch, seriously, I had ALL winter clothes. I was miserable. Sucks the layovers were so short.

when I go home, I always watch The Filipino Channel (TFC). There's a whole package you can order, it starts at channel 2060. It's great. There's a show we watched quite a bit of called WoWoWee. It's an amazing concept: limited native Filipinos let in, and then any Filipinos living abroad who want to come, they come to the show. This is a daily phenomenon. We didn't get a chance to do it. People died from a stampede of trying to get in. Because they want to be on Philippine tv and in one section, the host, Willy, goes around and people give US DOLLARS. It all goes to charity, but why don't we have a show like that? It'd never work of course, but it's a fun variety show. I know now how to do a dance called the "Boom-Tarat" dance I believe it's called which includes a lot of hip gyration and it's how i'd fuck you, basically. If you do it well enough, you get let into the "bigatis" which is how you win prizes.

Anyhow, love me some Filipino television. They even had Cheryl Burke from Dancing With The Stars on there for a segment, b/c she's half black/filipino of course. That was cool.

But again, too short. Drove to Orlando on the 29th, stopped in Gainesville so I could see the university. It all seemed so surreal. Everyone kept asking me if I was a Cali Boy; asking to see if I was coming back. And somehow, I ended up AGAIN seeing my ex, Paula. She works part time at Panera. I had to laugh, b/c I ALWAYS see her. Of COURSE I saw her at Panera. haha. Much love to you of course Paula. xo.

It's all a blur. And now I have to don shirts and ties again, and figure out a way to remember to write 2007 on things now. Flew back yesterday, after sleeping for 1 hr after being drunk at my boy Mikey's wedding. Drove to Tampa at 3am, had to drink energy drinks. And I'm still jetlagged. But I'm thankful I got to see my family, if only for a couple hours each day. Have a pic of Lake Alice in Gainesville, I stood next to a real gator! I'd never seen that before.

New years resolutions? I decided to not drink so much soda, and that I have to expand my photography, and visit the following places:
Seattle, Phoenix, Minneapolis, Oregon, Texas, Vegas, Utah, Montana. Just for the ability to see the beauty there. I meant the landscape, it'd be cool to visit you all as well ;)

So yeah, Seattle. adrienned, I would love to take pics of you and Romeo in the next couple. I'll foot the flight. Lemme know. I wanna see the needle.

And I think I might get a tattoo from every place i visit too. Dunno.

Anyhow, back to unpacking, etc. Go Gators! :)

[LJ2ME] it's a beautiful day in dallas!

koapthesql — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 19:14:17 GMT

h've made it known that i'd love to move to dallas; in fact my dallas office is looking for some fort worth sales reps. my layover is only an hour. otherwise shannon or marci or wendy or janet would be gettin a holla. anyway. need salad. got way too close to pooping on the plane. love you all and merry CHRISmas!

[LJ2ME] cold blooded

koapthesql — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 09:52:59 GMT

so i guess i was wrong in that i thought i paid my att bill. and to reward me. i have no internet for xmas. bloody ducking lovely. x ill be in florida for an actual xmas with the fam. i'll post more ap i know. otherwise. happy holidays. i need more models to shoot. and i'm craving pho.

[LJ2ME] thank you

koapthesql — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 19:39:05 GMT

thanks to everyone who are wishing me happy bday on myspace. everyone keeps asking of what i want for my bday and i've said each time. TITS. nobody thinks that's fun tho. feel free to hook a brotha up. thanks. god work is so busy. took me 3 hours to write this. love you all

hi!

koapthesql — Fri, 24 Nov 2006 07:44:25 GMT

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I had my tryptophan and then some.

Anyhow, just wanted to say hi. Been busy, work's crazy and trying to book as many shoots as possible.

I have a little Christmas Card shoot thing going on, $50 bucks gets you shots on a CD. Here's a sample:

Anyhow, my lil sis is flying in with her fiancee tomorrow to Oakland, so I'm going up there and we're taking engagement pics on the beach it looks like, hopefully I can find the beach. haha. Then I'm going to Sacramento to shoot some other Christmas Card shoots, and to hopefully hang out with pixievixen.

Saturday I'm leaving and coming down through Tracy and Modesto hoping to shoot more, and then home in Fresno on Saturday night, Sunday, more shooting. So as you can see, I'm just trying to book as much as possible b/c I need moolah.

$50 is a great deal imo, please book me if you'd like to have some pics to have for your Xmas cards, or to develop through Costco, Walgreen's or whomever does them now. My number is 559-348-8880. Feel free to txt or call.

That's all. Buying my ticket home to Florida from Christmas-New Year's. Going to be in Orlando on the 30th.

I have lots of new stuff to show, hopefully I can keep up enough to show you. I may be into some new stuff too, keep your eyes peeled. :) love you all.

Happy Halloween!

koapthesql — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 10:23:33 GMT

Busy busy...Hope you all are well. I'm having a shoot on sunday if you have nice straight teeth and wanna model and smile a lot. let me know. Otherwise...so tired. Just got back from a Halloween party/model mixer. Was fun! Props to Megan, turned what's usually a 30-45 min setup and breakdown each into a 15 min deal. So hope you all have a wonderful Halloween. :)

That's Cody. I work with her quite a bit now. She's awesome. More pics soon or you can just add me on Myspace. But for now, must go back to sleep. Work tomorrow. And if you're wondering if I'm doing a costume this year for work for $100, I am, but b/c I'm an Account Exec I can't really take the money, as it's always been an internal staff thing. But I'm going as a rejected student from Hogwarts School of Wizardry. I'm poor, and I have a V-neck sweater and shirts and ties :P I might go with the afro tomorrow. If I can find it though. hmm. love you all.

hey if you get a password thing, just click cancel.

koapthesql — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 06:28:16 GMT

I switched hosts recently, thank you so much to my dear just_monicat who hosted my stuff for so long. I haven't had a real change to move everything over, so it's not all done, but I'm moving stuff over little by little.

For those who don't know, I entered 6 pics in the Fresno Fair this year, did I post about this already? Well too bad. I won 3rd! For the one pic that I didn't think would even place, b/c it a) It was about celebrating 150 years of Fresno County and it was a pic of Vanity in front of the Fresno sign and b) b/c she was half naked wearing a see through bra and you could see her piercings. But it won 3rd. I think it didn't place higher b/c well. let's face it. They didn't want a half-naked hottie to win. I can respect that, I guess. But what was even cooler, was that I didn't know I also won an Honorable Mention for my pic of scarlett75's kids! That was really cool. Apparently it's a big deal if you even make it to the exhibit hall b/c of the volume of pics, but all mine made it, so I'm happy. I wonder if anyone bought them, I guess we'll find out on Wednesday.

To see which ones I entered, which I shoulda done earlier so that ppl could vote for it, dammit, check the cut.

Shooting more stuff tomorrow, Paul Mitchell shoot again on wednesday, going to LA for the weekend to shoot a friend and maybe another friend, been shooting a lot lately, it's just been bananas. I almost got to shoot my first SuicideGirls set for a girl who actually is not Vanity last weekend but that fell through. Oh well. It was gonna be awesome.

Work has been hella stressful and I can't talk about it in public. So i'll f-only that and post some pics that should be posted f-only anyway. :) So look for that. I hope you all have been well! Khat, call me since I don't have your #.

I also have made the conscious decision to stop undervaluing myself and raised my rates and am no longer doing trade on shoots, unless it's something I deem ok to do so for. My rates are very reasonable and after meeting with other photographers, the only way I can afford to get better is to start charging, and it's nothing personal, it's just business. So Lindsay, we now have matching rates, kinda. :) Take care all!

what do gay horses eat?

koapthesql — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 06:50:40 GMT

HAAAAAAAAAYYYYY. what is UP. ok. Two youtube things and then it's picture time, since I've been at a sales conference, and then have fought back and forth with D b/c we both got this stomach thing, featuring some not so nice uncontrollable you-know-what. I'm a good faker, and just to make sure my shoot went well, I did the funny thing and didn't eat ANYTHING. AT ALL. ALL DAY. and I paid for it when I got to my car and drove to get reptile food, b/c I was getting such a bad headache I almost ate a fat rat and some 3-week old crickets.

With that said, if you can sing, omg I worship you. And Alisan Porter? I fucking worship that woman. Remember Curly Sue? Oh she's not her anymore. She's hot. Like Cytherea squirt on yo momma HOT. And while she totally sang this effected, I think I gott a give her a buttpoking A+ for effort, not to mention 150,000 style points b/c she hangs out with pornstar and former Springer and Stern groupie Kendra Jade: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qiBk6XSNC0

I can't wait to see her in A Chorus Line. Because if you didn't know, I love musicals. It was weird. Vanity called me very gay at the photoshoot today. I wonder why she'd say that. Anyhow, here's something very ungay. A funny ass commercial between the PS3 and my next video game system, the Nintendo Wii. Take that, PC!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXm5n2n_U3c

ok. Well, I was gonna make it so if you didn't see the first set of pics, you had to go to MySpace, but fuck that. Today was good times! Anyhow. Got to shoot some nice people today, and of course, for pixievixen, more shots of Miss Vanity. Anyhow. Behind the cut, more fun times. I'm worn out, tired of retouching. pictures that is, and I..dammit, I forgot to answer my emails from work like I told my boss I would. Damn migraines.

Erin Swoosh, whose allergies are acting up but i still <3 her:

Veronique was watching the photoshoot today and was like, this is fun I think I'll do it! She asked if I took checks, and I was like, hell yeah! Because at least she didn't say, "that's better than cash! that's an I.O.U.!" hahaha. Anyhow, she was so sweet, I enjoyed photoferring her. With her hair down from the fan she totally has that We can Do It! poster from WW2 look goin on. Sorry, lots of red background.

and the we can do it-ish look:

Elizabeth

Denise

and then for all you Vanity fans, here ya go:

So it's not set in stone, but Vanity might be having a bunch of girls from a well-known alt pinup site that is featured on her hoodie in Fresno in the next 30 days and I just might be introduced to them all and just might be shooting sets for said site which would be rad b/c I could use the experience and exposure, esp if i do enough to become an approved staff photog. I'm not crazy with their structure on their releases, etc. But they have a well-known product, and she's already posted one of our sessions up on SuicideGirls. So we'll see what happens. Cross your toes! And I'm shooting her tomorrow night. having a pillow fight. Should be fun!

ok. off to the bathroom again. love love.

i think i've figured it out.

koapthesql — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 03:51:58 GMT

I figured out why I haven't been reading LJ for the last 6 months. It's b/c I've had money. And me being so fiscally unresponsible, when I have money, I go out and do things, whether it be going to a bookstore to look at golf and photography magazines, or whether it be going out and doing a photoshoot, just shooting things, or playing golf, albeit hitting balls, or playing night golf at places that have night golf, like River Park Golf Center. Let me know if you like golf and aren't afraid of 2 guys who uhh...take a lot of "practice swings" :) We could use more playing partners.

But right now I'm broker than shit. Numbers have been awful lately, and I knew after the 3rd of the month that there was roughly 200 bucks left over till the 15th. Well that went goodbye rather quickly. However, I do have a full freezer that needs emptying. So I've been cooking all day.

I did laundry today, dunked my head a couple of times b/c I've been hot and feeling dizzy and lightheaded and feverish all weekend, and I went through some pictures, b/c I decided to enter some into this year's Fresno Fair. Whether or not I actually win anything, I'm not sure, but I decided to go Amateur b/c, well, I can a) enter more photographs and b) I don't actually have a place of business or a business license with the City or County, so I didn't enter professional. They don't even win anything, dammit! haha. I don't know what I'm entering, but it asked for titles, so I gave generic ones like "Ouch!" "Hang On!!" and "Sunset". haha. There is a new category that's free where you can submit a photo that has to do with Fresno in some way, so I'm going to submit the near topless pics of Vanity in front of the Welcome to Fresno sign. I doubt they'll choose it, but dammit, they should show it.

I've been a terrible LJ friend, I know. I went ahead and did something I didn't think I'd ever do, and that's go through some cuts. I actually stopped halfway through b/c there's way too many ppl on my list, it was taking HOURS at this point. I haven't renewed my account for paid, and I don't think I will. I'm actually going to delete this journal. It's not me anymore. I still love porn and what not, but I don't keep up with the industry anymore, and i'm just not sexy anymore. I may create another one, but in the next couple months I'll phase it out I think. I'm actually considering the YouTube video blog route. But eh.

Ok I'm dizzy again and I have to move my load of socks to the dryer. Love to you all, feel free to comment and say hi if it's been a while. Pic post soon, and details about Sacramento, where I'll be from Tues-Thurs.

it's like i have so much to say...

koapthesql — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 07:50:33 GMT

but I just can't get it out of my mouth. a lot has gone on over the past month or so. and i wish i could just ...well I guess I can post from my phone now that I think about it. But anyhow. things are ok for the most part, just trying to get through the day. I owe some money to the County Superior Court for a traffic violation that was my fault, I was driving around for a while with expired tags. You do things like that when you're broke. And when you're broke, you forget a lot of shit too, like forgetting to go and take care of that once you DO have money.

Have had some nice photoshoots lately, a lot of people wanting to shoot honestly want to do so because a) i'm shooting for portfolio at the moment, so that shit is free for the most part, and b) they're wanting to have their picture taken and having their makeup done by D since she's moving to LA in the middle of next month to become the big bad makeup artist to the stars we pray she'll become. So let me know if you wanna shoot inbetween then.

We're supposed to have a photoshoot at Pismo Beach this weekend as part of a swimsuit spectacular that I've been trying to put together for a couple months. Forgot to take care of one little thing, and that's the lodging. The two muses who are starring in it, Amanda and Erin, may not make it, so I'm really just considering calling the thing off and maybe sneaking into a beach along the Kings River or something picturesque instead of the ocean. I guess we'll see what happens in the next couple of days.

Speaking of Erin, I met Erin at Paul Mitchell. She came up to me asking if I needed models for the shoot in Pismo, and I was like..uhh...SURE. heheh. Because nobody truly seeks me out for the most part here locally, so it tickled me pink. And she was so...the word I use is mousey. she had her hair pulled back, was wearing black clothes, had glasses. But when she got in front of the lens. Holy sweet little baby infant Jesus with the gold diapers and the halo, did she kaboom! like it was shake and bake. I think I'll keep her, I absolutely love her look.

Anyhow, here's some pics from the past couple weeks. Ashley, Erin, Seliz and Vanity. Below is Seliz. Hope everyone is well!

If you're on MySpace, you've seen a few of these. If you haven't added me, do so! http://www.myspace.com/csoriano

I recently bought an octabox, an octagonal-shaped softbox that's actually 4 FEET across. it's ginormous, but holy shit I love the light it puts out. LOVE IT. I'm getting faster at putting it up and bringing it down. I also ordered a rectangular softbox. It should be here Friday hopefully.

Erin (D on the makeup, Erin on the hair)

Ashley (Ash and Megs on the Makeup, Jessica Soltero on the hair)

underwater?

Ashley's husband Kenny (I need to shoot more guys pls)

Ash being a vixen. What's funny about this shoot is that we had it at a girls empty house, at least 5 ppl on myspace wanted to do pics and what not since there were 2 photographers. They all flaked. They suck.

Seliz (Like Celise/Celyse/however else you'd see it, cool name, Erin on the hair, D on the makeup)
see, the theme here was a doll, based off Ashlee's contemporary routine off "So You Think You Can Dance". Kinda evolved into something totally different. But I dig it.

Vanity (that's a black wig, she's blonde as the sun, makeup by D.)

and last but not least, Erin doing a remix of an old shot by D, except D was wearing a nude bra and black hose. Still awesome though.

Have a great Thursday!

In the morning, I piss EXCELLENCE.

koapthesql — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 09:56:08 GMT

Much love to Talladega Nights. it's hard to collect your thoughts at 2am after being asleep for 4 hours. I can say though, I'm not sure how, but I've equaled the dog in drool volume. Only when I sleep on my stomach though. I guess that's better than me...swallowing or breathing it in and waking up coughing. That sucks. I'll do that. I'll take a deep breath and choke. B/c I'm just that much of a genius.

So I'm back on my lil diet thing where I lost the weight eating 6 times a day...except I haven't been eating what I was eating b/c honestly, I got tired of eating a microwaved potato every 3 hrs with salsa on top. But I'm learning that salad and spam is not the best alternative either. Workin on it. Numbers are terrible the last couple months which means it's po'. And when you're po', you eat whatever you can get yo hands on, nawmean. But I think I'm making progress. I can almost see my cock again. Cuz that's the ultimate fat test.

Have a lotta shoots lined up, and quite honestly, it's because D is moving to LA (no I'm not going with, I get paid better to fart around up here) at the end of the month or so, and everyone and their mama suddenly wants D to do their makeup. And I can't really blame them, D has become a makeup phenom of sorts, which is why it was my idea to tell her to go make it in the big time, or she is just wasting her talent here. While she has some opportunities lining up already in LA, it's nice to have even more. If you're in LA and know of anyone needing a makeup artist, please contact through the proper channels.

With that said, does anyone have Cricket? I'm thinking about switching, but I'm concerned about the areas in which it works.

Also, I'm so proud that Black Eyed Peas released "Bebot", b/c yanno. Filipinos! Filipinos! Filipinos! And the beat is sick sick sick. http://www.kidheroes.net/bebot to see the two versions of the video. I love Gen 2 when the auntie tries to pull up Fergie's pants. HOT.

oh who am I kidding. it's picture time.
yeah, you did. we were going for retro pinup at the time. then it turned into her trying to hitchhike outta fresno...i'm not sure what we got goin on. But i fuckin loved every minute. And apparently Vanity decided to post half the pics on her Suicide Girls blog, I guess I can't hate on that except the wrong fuckin watermark was on em, dammit.

so anyway, from the Welcome to Fresno sign that surprisingly, a lotta ppl in Fresno have never seen. b/c it's from the olden days I'll guess. It's been restored so that it has neon now at night. it's cool!

and this is from Kearney Blvd not too far from Kearney Park. I guess old Kearney decided he wanted the street out to his house, to be completely lined with palm trees. and it is for like. 11 miles. So I decided to try it out. I kinda dunno how I liked this. Maybe I'll take Vanity back out by Chowchilla along Robertson Blvd, which is their main street and it too, is lined with palm trees.

I think the most entertaining part was the fact that if a car would come by, Vanity would moon them. And you know I just can't hate on a bare whiter than the sun ass.

oh and this one is my current default on my ModelMayhem, Glamour1, and Myspace:

and if this image becomes famous, don't tell my mom.

and I don't think I showed any images from the makeup artist trade show in pasadena eh? hmm. Anyhow, here's one of the entrants from the student competition. The theme was A Midsummer Night's Dream. Dunno what Asian version of the play this person came from, but I dig Japanese chicks with antlers, mmm baby.

that's all for now! love love. god i hope i can get back up in 3 hrs. heh.

oh my shit.

koapthesql — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 06:04:04 GMT

excuse my french. but i'm just pondering things right now.
- so Oprah says that her and Gayle King are not gay lovers. Why does anyone care? Just me who does not maybe. Honestly, I couldn't imagine Oprah sucking cock or munching carpet. She...blech. She's Oprah, nawmean?
- I can't seem to stop falling for the fembot trick on MySpace. You know, where you get a friend request from some random female with a nice smile? I actually clicked one once and it WASN'T something that sent me straight to a porn spot. I didn't know what to think about it, quite honestly. But it's like I get like. 6-7 a day. How can you figure out who's legit?
- Speaking of MySpace, there's a photographer on there who's been nice to me and msged me, etc. so I brought up the idea, since it's always nice to help others out, to do like a huge portfolio shoot. It's a total TFP deal, no tear sheets involved, just time for portfolio and prints. So the issue is, finding anyone who wants their photo taken, and where to take it. IF you know of cool areas to take pictures of people, please let me know. Probably shooting on a weekend day before August 1, since the other photog moves away then. If you've ever wanted me to take your photo, this would be the time to do it. Help us out by scouting out locations or come up with set ideas.
- I'm hopefully landing a wedding referred to me. Here's the kicker: it's in Yosemite. Talk about awesome. It'll be excellent for my port, as I'd love to be able to do weddings. It's certainly a nice income, when I do a comparison of what pros are charging in this town.
- I find myself mesmerized by So You Think You Can Dance. I'm sad that the partners are gone now.
- And Project Runway too. I love Robert Best, the former Barbie clothing designer.
- Been looking up people on MySpace and Friendster from high school since someone from HS found me. Just remembering the things that have happened from then till now. Crazy. Good times, good times.

Anyhow. I'm finding a lot of doubt in my ability to take a good photograph. Not good. I hope you are all having a nice week! I get to photograph these fine ppl again on Saturday yaaaay!

and one of my faves from Ashley's lingerie shoot behind the cut.

hahaha only one person will get that. I hope she's laughing.

love.

love.

favorite.

k. nitenite.

ooh. pain.

koapthesql — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 06:55:39 GMT

so my body is sore from sneezing today. I've actually been sick since Friday evening, spending most of my time trying to pee, and laying in bed. my allergies are terrible, having issues breathing, and today started off the way I was trying to get, which was throwing up a lil in my mouth, and coughing up enough mucus in one sitting to fill those lil paper cups you get in Wendy's to put your ketchup in. Yes. It's a beautiful thing. I'm contemplating calling in sick tomorrow. If I do go into work tomorrow, I'm going to be eating as much miso soup as humanly possible. Whoever invented nasonex, I'd like to shake your hand, give you a hug, and well. Let's just say it allowed me to sleep.

Thanks to Zinedine Zidane, my longtime soccer/football idol. I have learned that if you say something foul about my mama or something? I will headbutt you in the tittie. And you will deserve it. Because anyone can take a punch. But a headbutt to the boobie? Nobody forgets that. Oh, and fantastic sell by Materazzi. Portugal applauds you.

So I'm gonna be real witchoo for a moment. So I've decided to try and find a way to be cardiovascularly active for 1 hour every day until I can trim my pubes with no issue. Because right now. I got an obstacle. If you've seen me recently. You know what that is. So I was looking at pics from like. 5 years ago. Damn I was so much thinner, even though I felt like I was a fuckin fatass. a month ago I actually cut myself with the scissors. b/c I missed. That's embarassing.

anyhow. Year 28, since I've yet to change my userinfo was supposed to be Project 2006-pack. Maybe it still can be. Maybe. Time to jumpstart the ole metabolism again. Any tips? feel free. Although strangely enough, I've been sleeping weird and waking up with my head and pillow soaked in sweat a lot over the last month or so. And the back of my head right now is soaked in sweat. It's odd.

but anyway. Let's round out today with some pictures. I did have some shoots this weekend, but nothing coming b/c I was sick. Note to self, must feed Lily tomorrow. MUST. or she will strike at anything in a brown bag.

we'll start with skinny inspiration pics.

I dunno what it is, but for some reason I have like. 2 lazy eyes in this old pic of me and D.

an old pic of me skinnier that I know is old b/c...my sister still dressed like a boy. Hah if you caught this early you'd hav erealized that I didn't realize that I'd posted with a pic of a giraffe. hahaha. talk about skinny.

hehe. i love how many ppl still take pics of themselves this way. with the flash on most of the time.

I could still smell my own feet here. Does anyone still do that? Like put their foots up their nose? haha. gosh I can't believe this was already 3 years ago. So's my icon, btw it's at least 4 years old.

when i took this pic, I weighed 305 lbs.

I didn't take another picture of myself until February. I'd started to diet I think, but at the point I'd started to, if you remember from my journal back then, my doctor had ordered me to lose 40 lbs by July or else. Because I was 325 lbs, borderline diabetic, cholesterol was over 300, high resting heart rate, etc. Basically I was going to die young.

yeah so far this post is really for me, you're all just innocent bystanders for my madness at the moment. So anyway. I now have the motivation to become this:

damn you Cristiano Ronaldo. big crybaby. great player though.

and three more photos i prolly haven't ever shown, one of Amanda which is cool cuz I got her to do that crossover thing that ppl pose with. her hips look kinda sexay in those pants. 2nd one is of Sam, and 3rd is one of Anna that I don't think I've ever posted. Anyhow. Till later!

Anyone else besides me and poonariffic that are using the new LJ chat on Jabber? You should! Umm. look around for the link on how to set it up, I don't have a link. That's all. off to bed now, hoping tomorrow I feel better.

so sore.

koapthesql — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 03:46:16 GMT

I've decided to pray that someone will take pictures of fireworks, b/c I'm too tired and sore to take them. My right hand can't take any more shutter presses. What do you mean, you say? heh. I spent from 2:30-10:30 doing pictures. I slept the first hour to get some...creativity brewing while D worked on makeup. Jessica is the hair person on my creative team. You see, when I photographer her models at PM, the deal was that if anyone signed up for the photoshoot, that I would be more than happy to do free portfolio shots of them up until they got their cosmo license. But they had to be a "Creative", which is their senior level at the school. Jessica was the ONLY one to sign up for it. I mean SERIOUSLY, how could you turn that deal down?

So anyways. First shoot we did I think you saw a lotta pics of, it was where Amanda bloomed before my very eyes, as someone very plain, someone I didn't notice, and after D's makeup and some time in front of the camera, KABOOM! magic. People tell me all the time how gorgeous and photogenic she is, and she totally is, and it's so funny b/c everytime I see her, I REALLY have to look for her b/c I don't normally notice her. But then again, all the great ones are that way, eh? Cindy, Chandra, Petra, Letitia. All the ones I love. I think I might just make her the muse just b/c she's always available for the most part. My two muses, one I can't even get a hold of, the other one is always doing something. BUT! I might have the inside track being able to do a set for Suicide Girls. We'll see. I won't hold my breath or get my hopes up. But GOD WOULD I LOVE THAT.

You might have seen this already, but here's this awesome shot of Samantha from the shoot. Samantha is a girl I shot for PM a while back for Jess. She's 5'11. And frankly, looks just like Anna Nicole Smith. And she makes me nervous. But she's awesome. If you've seen Myspace, you already saw this, but it's cool how this shot happened. I had two girls hold her as she leaned over the hot tub in Jess's back yard. I straddled her kinda and shot with a hotshoe flash upped a full stop. Fuck the hotspots. I LOVE IT.

And D's makeup is bangin on all the girls. MAC Silverleaf + mixing medium on the outside of the eyes, Temptu Airbrush foundation to match her tan.

some shots from yesterday.

this is kee-kee. werd.

this is jessie. here's the thing. She NEVER wears makeup, has kinda a deep voice and just...DAMN SHE DUN WORKED THE CAMERA. I can't believe it. I'm not sayin her ass was The Swan, but damn. Girl looked GOOOOD.

Amanda was lookin BOSSY, werd up to Kelis. I told her to be kinda like Married to the Mob. She's just so sweet. But damn if I didn't try to make her look badass. Anyhow. I'd love to have her at Sunrise on the beach. that would be an awesome set of pictures.

another of Samantha:

oh well. that's it fo now.

doo papa doo pa my boy....

koapthesql — Sun, 02 Jul 2006 20:11:38 GMT

anyone remember that being Jackee's portion to that song episode from 227? They actually went to court! She wanted money for her "doo-papa-doo-pa-MAH-BOY!" ahh. What little things I find strangely entertaining.

I've spent most of the weekend. Sleeping. It's so nice. I am a bad boy and average 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Which causes me to actually fall asleep on the phone with brokers sometimes. Especially if I have chinese or mexican for lunch. Nobody ever notices actually, which is rather ingenius. It kinda goes like this:

Broker/Loan Officer/Resident Dingleberry: "Yeah, I was wondering if you guys do a 100% non-owner-occupied refi on 15 acres out in the Arroyo Grande area?"
Me: "oh yeah....hmmm. lemme see. (sleep for about 30 seconds)"
B/LO/AHOLE: "yeah, it's for the borrower, let me tell you what the situation is..." *rambles about crap for 3 minutes*
Me: "mhmm." *sleeping for 2 minutes* "oh yeah? that's not a good thing." *sleep for 1 more minute*
B/LO/AHOLE: "so what can I get on 1 rebate?"
Me: *wakes up, tickles the roof of my mouth with my tongue, pinches the back of my thigh in the tender meat to wake up*
B/LO/AHOLE: "still there?"
Me: "Oh, yes, I'm sorry, just checking my rate sheet." *looking at notes, seeing lots of lines* "I'm sorry, I think I wrote that down wrong. Did you say you wanted a 90% non-owner purchase?"
B/LO/AHOLE: *proceeds to say scenario again*
Me: "Ahh. ok. We don't offer 100% non-owner on purchases or refis. This is what we DO offer." *keep talking, close the deal*

And magically, it's suddenly 4pm at that point, I get up and dance b/c I always have XM radio on, and then all is well. Its just hard for my daily carb coma moment.

btw. I woke up 45 mins ago today. I've decided 3 things:
- After yesterday's day at the range, where suddenly, I'm murdering balls on the tee, it's time to buy some other clubs. I bought a driver that was on sale for 65% off, a bag on sale, some balls on sale, and a bobo putter on sale. This to go with my 7-metalwood, 5 iron and 6 iron that I found in a bag at a golf store labeled 10 bucks a piece.
- I'm obsessed with golf as much as I'm obsessed with photography, and as much as I'm obsessed with assholes and nipples.
- Since I'm not straight, my golf shots don't have to be either, and I'm ok with that! :)

oh, and I want brunch. right NOW.

I'm doing my first wedding on July 8th up in Chico. I for a long time, didn't wanna do weddings. But Ashley's cool, and honestly, I'm hoping that her wedding will give me confidence. You'd think that photographing rodeos and basketball games would give me the impetus and the confidence to do a wedding, but it doesn't. But at least I know what shots I want to do. I'm excited now, and maybe this will begin a new era in my photography. Once I get a picture of Emilie walking out of a lake at sunset wearing just a white button down shirt. Which will happen shortly!

Ok. I gotta go get ready for brunch. I'm HONGRY. love love. Umm. I forgot why I was posting. But hey. I'm free for shooting for the next 3-4 days! let's get together.

but this was ashley. And yes, the blowing out was intentional. she approached me wanting to mimic this picture of D that she loves, and I thought it was this pic:

different twist. anyhow. anyone else who wants to mimic that pic or any other pic, feel free to let me know. k. foodage. love love.

[LJ2ME] holy shit.

koapthesql — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:39:30 GMT

the one time i leave my camera behind. and i'm at doughboys. SITTING NEXT TO LUKE PERRY. i loved dylan mckay. no frontin. i wanna ask him about pet pigs. my weekend is complete. oh and i had pinkberry. better than dingleberry. luke is talkin with his hands i think d has her camera... more later. h'll Prolly just leave him alone. d0h my phone is dying.

[LJ2ME] its 60 degrees!

koapthesql — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 04:03:29 GMT

amazing. i heaRD near madera it was 112 today. if it broke 85 where we were i'd be shocked. anyhow. goin to pink berry in a min. currently at the 3rd st promenade in santa monica. my fortune said ACCEPT THE NEXT PROPOSITION YOU HEAR. D then shouts lets move to LA! and i shouted NO FAIR! have a good sunday everyone!

Still want a Wii, dammit.

koapthesql — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 09:05:14 GMT

I wish I could just carry a digital recorder everywhere. I know that's fuckin pretentious, but I've been REALLY funny in the last couple of months. heh. Maybe only to just me. Or D. Or Meg. Or Anna. Or Becca. I never make pixievixen laugh, so she doesn't count. But anyway. I walked into EB Games, b/c strangely enough, even though I thought it was weaksauce, I'm so in love with my Nintendo DS. Who fuckin knew. I totally don't even want a PSP. With the recent announcement of Opera releasing a browser for the DS, seriously. It's the shizz. Now to go to find free wi-fi. I wonder how hard it is though to update my LJ with that though. hmm. But anyway, I walked in, and said "I'd like to reserve my Wii please. Right NOW." They both looked at me like Sims going "--" over their heads.

If you keep up with the next generation consoles coming out, there's the XBox 360, the PS3 is coming out, and Nintendo had something called the Revolution. Now they've renamed it to Wii. Like I have a big honkin Wiiner, Wii. And I want one, dammit. Not till Q4 though.

So I had a shoot the other night and shared it with my friend Kellie. Shockingly enough she said "yanno. she shoulda just been naked. It woulda been a better shot." It's so sad that while I want to create art, that I'm shy about that kinda shit. Slowly getting better however. I need a better portrait lens. And a softbox. And a ringflash, etc. etc. Maybe next payday.

D and I are going to Los Angeles today till Sunday. for a makeup artist trade show. A bunch of cosmo's are going as well so I guess it'll be a fun partay. Julia and Thad, it's been forever, hopefully we get to see you. Anyone want to get together? Feel free to call the biz line. 559-348-8880. And if you don't, feel free to leave a dirrrty voicemail. hah. I'm watching this 50 most awesomely bad dirrty videos on VH-1. Silly wabbits.

Ok I'm exhausted from cleaning. Went home early today b/c of migraines, I should go to bed. Love love.

i want. :(

I've heard of a guy in the midwest who makes puggles (pug + beagle) which live longer, easier, but I dunno. If you know of any, please let me know.

i take too many of these kindsa shots. but i love em. my co-worker Jen and her niece.

I saw Clay Walker in concert recently, he's actually a really great entertainer.

really, I love taking these kinda shots. heh.

just messing with lights and now i know better how i wanna do this. but this was fun.

Have a great weekend if i don't see you. ;) you still fallin for that old trick? ;)

yes, i am updating. it's not a figment of your imagination.

koapthesql — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 08:38:53 GMT

heh. you know. I had this whole post lined up about how it sucks to feel like you've been "passed by". I know some of you know what I'm talking about. But yanno, people move on in life. Me being busy and not reading posting I'm sure didn't remedy the fact. And while it took me a little bit to figure out why X or Y dropped me, etc. I've learned that well, what can you do? There are some things in life you can't control, but I certainly am not forcing anyone to read me. In fact, I haven't updated my Account Status in forever, and most likely, I don't think I will again, and I'll eventually get a new journal. I think I've figured out that KOAP is a fun guy, but if you don't know by now, it's not really me. It's me with the volume up x10 and my hips gyrating x100. haha. what a fun image. So I can't be bitter at all. Because I know that if you really want to talk to me, you know how to get to me. And most of you actually do. Send me a msg on MySpace. Email me. Txt Me. Call my business line and book me for a shoot or shoot the shit. I'm not that hard to get a hold of. Kinda. haha.

So anyway, I recently went on a trip to Yosemite b/c Megan thinks I don't give myself enough credit and that I could hike up to Vernal Falls. It's a 4 mile trip with 1000 feet in elevation change. The last 2 miles, The Mist Trail, leave you wetter than me whispering in your ear. We went down at a 45-degree angle to Mono Meadow for half a mile, and turned around to walk back up to the car. It took me nearly 30 mins to get back up, no shit. hahah. I am so unfit, it's not even funny.

But I did get some quality pics, well. inbetween me gasping for air b/c at 6800 feet I had so much lactic acid it sucked. So if you want, get a load of some pics: Clicky. I think they're ok, but some people have already expressed wanting to buy some prints, which uhh. kinda suprises me, but ok! And if you're in the mood to look at my "portfolio" at the moment, do so here: click . It needs to be updated, but you get the idea.

I'm now obsessed with golf. Anybody golf? Anybody got an outlet to a cheap set of clubs? I'm considering paying $495 and going to San Jose on July 16 for the ESPN Golf School, since you get a Nike bag and set of clubs from 5-PW, a Nike SQ driver and a putter. Mainly b/c most sets are around that much. It all started last week, hah. Wednesdays since we rarely eat at home, D and I go to my friend Becca's house, and since she can't cook well, we cook and teach her how to make stuff. And in return, she has a golf net in the back and we hit balls. She has this AWESOME TaylorMade R528 XD driver that I want and we teed it up, and while I've always just fucked around, with her tip, I suddenly hit balls. straight. and it sounded like it did on TV. it was AWESOME. So I signed up for golf lessons. Because I can't hit an iron to save my life. Through Fresno Adult School, I now have a lesson for the next 6 Saturdays. All for only $55, not a bad deal! So yes, if you and a friend play, I'd like to be a part of your threesome!

well. you knew what I mean. sucka. =P ok. gotta go to bed. I'm get to spend my work day at a golf course tomorrow. We're sponsoring a hole for the local mortgage broker golf tournament. I think I'll bring the Nintendo DS. Since we're at the 16th hole, I reckon we won't be having guests for a while. Then I get to be paid to be charming.

But they'll all be drunk. Lord, please give me the strength to not let rich brokers seduce me. Unless they have a house I can rent. Then I'll put out once a month for rent. hah. kidding. maybe.

Oh! I'm getting new glasses. Gimme ideas for what styles you think may work. Until then, I will post again soon about my painful auditioning of photo-organizational software. and to tell you all you're swell. Have a wonderful Monday!

did you think it was going to be of Yosemite? well ok then. Above is Roseann. I met her at a wedding and we sat her table and knew nobody. BUT! We all had Myspace. hahaha. anyhow. ok, have a Yosemite pic.

ok that's me uhh...lost in the Wilderness. I actually GOT BIT by a mosquito. It's been AGES since that happened. <3 for California.

and here's a shot of Half Dome, Vernal Falls, and the lower falls is Nevada Falls. It was just beautiful out that day. breathtaking. Hearing all that water though. Woo. Did I have to pee.

[LJ2ME]

koapthesql — Sun, 11 Jun 2006 17:16:11 GMT

goin to yosemite today! dsl is back up! the future is looking ok! more tonight! miss you all!

[LJ2ME] zOmg no. :(

koapthesql — Wed, 31 May 2006 04:13:46 GMT

so. website went down over the weekend. shooting barrel racing. told all 160 riders that pics would be up the next day. and to top it off. dsl is on and off so they're sending a tech out. on saturday. not. happy. anyhow. love you all. be back soon. again.