And goddamn I am so tired of pretending

[ooc] Exitvoid application

knowyourfears — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 00:41:06 GMT

player.
NAME/HANDLE: Simone
PERSONAL JOURNAL: ration
ARE YOU 16 OR OVER?: Yes
CONTACT:

AIM: BluePeterLadyboy
EMAIL: simmichan [@] gmail [.] com
PLURK: FiremanSam

OTHER CHARACTERS: N/A

character.
CHARACTER NAME: Terrance Ward (Trauma)
SERIES: Avengers: The Initiative || a wee bit about Trauma
CANON POINT: Issue 30, after he takes off to ~find himself~
AGE: He's not really given a canon age, though he is supposed to be unreasonably young for his job and not long out of high school when Initiative starts, so I put him at about 21.
APPEARANCE:

PREVIOUS GAME HISTORY: N/A

PERSONALITY:

Trauma is a pretty standoffish customer. (No word of a lie, I counted - he smiles for a grand total of three panels throughout his run in the comic and spends most of the rest of it scowling or looking impassive.) He can be perfectly amiable and even downright friendly, but he does tend to put out the good ol' fashioned "don't talk to me" signals. Even when he does somehow end up in a conversation, he tends to stay a bit tight-lipped, preferring to absorb what the other person has to say and offer his opinion if/when he feels it's necessary rather than making inane - and probably stupid - comments all over the place.

Even though he looks like your average, run-of-the-mill emo kid, he does tend towards being a fair bit more mature and intelligent than one might guess. Being shoved into the Shadow Initiative and becoming a counsellor a good few years before he should reasonably have been able to will have that effect. He carries a lot of anger and resentment around- for all sorts of things. The world, his dad, that girl who turned him down in high school, his old friends, etc. But mostly it's all aimed at himself, for not keeping better control of his powers and/or not realising he couldn't control them and decide to seek help sooner. Or even really unreasonable stuff like not managing to pre-empt their manifestation somehow.

But he has come to learn that a lot of this is either an unreasonable amount of beating himself up or that he just can't carry it all around with him all the time every day for the rest of his life (which could end up being really fucking long, canon hasn't really explained anything about his whole "not dying for realsies" thing.)

All his anger, guilt and self-loathing has kind of come full-circle during his time in the Initiative. Though he's never really gotten over what happened with his family and friends, he did learn to accept that it happened and get on with things and even wilfully uses his powers as a therapy aid rather than just trying to suppress them and hoping that they'd go away or there'd be a 'cure' like he did before. Of course, agreeing to help Osborn and Hood keep all manner of people who shouldn't have been working Initiative recruits for any number of reasons (PTSD, being criminally insane, being the Hood's cronies, to name a few reasons) able to fight in exchange for his mother's health had a pretty detrimental effect on his mental health. As evidenced by the fact that it kind of, y'know, made him a conduit for Nightmare to pass through and try to fuck shit up.

So, yeah. There's definitely a pretty heavy dose of guilt there about going against his better judgement and messing with people's heads and probably getting a good few people killed or crippled as a result.

Generally speaking, he's quite easy-going. Save for a few special people, it doesn't seem to be particularly easy to get under his skin. And even though he generally looks pretty cranky, he also seems pretty mellow most of the time. That said, his temper has proven pretty short. Trauma probably likes to think of himself as someone who'll be smart about things, but when push comes to shove he tends to go running in, fists swinging. And he won't hesitate to go all fear-Hulk on people who push the right buttons. (Threatening his family was more'n likely the core reason for the animosity between him and Hood.)

Since fear is such a massive part of his life, it's probably important to note his biggest fear - that no one will ever care about him because of what he is. He's terrified by the idea of rejection or abandonment. Feeding into this is also a horrible fear of hurting the people closest to him. I mean, he doesn't want to unintentionally fear out on anyone, but given that all the people he's was closest to when his powers kicked in got the worst of it and he hasn't seen them since. Well, it makes sense he'd be worried about it all happening again, even if his control is infinitely better than it was back then. Being able to reconcile things with Abby (and parting amiably with Penance too, if you want to think about it that way) has given him a degree of hope for the future, but these things linger.

ABILITIES:

Long story short: Trauma's a boggart.

He can sense the fears of people around him and transform into them. The more intense a given fear is being felt at a given time, the easier it is for him to pick up on - to the extent that he can sense people's fears from quite a distance if they start freaking out enough. When he transforms he is pretty much exactly as the person's perception of their fear is. Like with Armory's arachnaphobia, he became a giant, grotesque spider (in a t-shirt?) The potential with a power like this is, clearly, quite big and quite dangerous, leading to Trauma having been branded an Omega Level Threat and shoved into the Shadow Initiative. (Though that said, almost every time he's tried to use his powers offensively in canon it lead to an epic beatdown-- He even died once!) It does fall short a bit, seeing as it doesn't really work at all on people who are immune to telepathy and anyone who's able to face their fears can fight back effectively enough.

He has, thanks to Dani's tutelage, pretty much got a handle on his powers now - which is good for everyone - though they can fly out of control seeing as they don't really have an "off" switch or anything. People projecting their fears onto him can force him to transform - like in Secret Invasion, his team being worried that he was a Skrull kind of made him turn into one. And then get beaten up. That was a bad day.

Dear Mr. Ward is also immortal, thanks to his lineage. There isn't really a guideline for this, seeing as he's only died the once and he's not really keen to give it a second go. (For all he knows it may have only been a one time deal!) So there's not like... An average time between dying and waking up or anything - the first time might be the longest. Or the shortest. Though he did come back after embalming and all that, so it's a pretty darn resilient system he's got in there.

POSSESSIONS:

samples.
JOURNAL ENTRY SAMPLE:

THIRD-PERSON SAMPLE:

[ooc] let's stick this out of the way here

knowyourfears — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 16:58:06 GMT

terrance ward

AGE: 20 21
GENDER: Male
ROLE: Counsellor. Psychology teacher.
POWERS: Fear-related telepathy and shapeshifting. Potential omega level threat. Immortal.

Terrance Ward
T R A U M A

“trauma”

“An emotional wound or shock that creates substantial, lasting damage to the psychological development of a person, often leading to neurosis.”

→01 • 02 • 03 • 04 • 05 • 06 • 07←

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

it's his theme song guys

[ooc] Il Promenade application

knowyourfears — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 20:50:13 GMT

PLAYER

✧ NAME: Simone
✧ LJ USERNAME: ration
✧ CONTACT :

AIM: BluePeterLadyboy
EMAIL: simmichan [@] gmail [.] com
PLURK: FiremanSam

✧ CURRENT MUSE LIST: N/A

CHARACTER

✧ NAME: Terrance Ward
✧ SERIES: Marvel comics (Avengers: The Initiative, specifically)
✧ HISTORY: le wiki
✧ TIMELINE: After A:TI issue 30, when Trauma leaves to ~find himself~
✧ PERSONALITY:

Trauma is a pretty standoffish customer. (No word of a lie, I counted - he smiles for a grand total of three panels throughout his run in the comic and spends most of the rest of it scowling or looking impassive.) He can be perfectly amiable and even downright friendly, but he does tend to put out the good ol' fashioned "don't talk to me" signals. Even when he does somehow end up in a conversation, he tends to stay a bit tight-lipped, preferring to absorb what the other person has to say and offer his opinion if/when he feels it's necessary rather than making inane - and probably stupid - comments all over the place.

Even though he looks like your average, run-of-the-mill emo kid, he does tend towards being a fair bit more mature and intelligent than one might guess. Being shoved into the Shadow Initiative and becoming a counsellor a good few years before he should reasonably have been able to will have that effect. He carries a lot of anger and resentment around- for all sorts of things. The world, his dad, that girl who turned him down in high school, his old friends, etc. But mostly it's all aimed at himself, for not keeping better control of his powers and/or not realising he couldn't control them and decide to seek help sooner. Or even really unreasonable stuff like not managing to pre-empt their manifestation somehow.

But he has come to learn that a lot of this is either an unreasonable amount of beating himself up or that he just can't carry it all around with him all the time every day for the rest of his life (which could end up being really fucking long, canon hasn't really explained anything about his whole "not dying for realsies" thing.)

All his anger, guilt and self-loathing has kind of come full-circle during his time in the Initiative. Though he's never really gotten over what happened with his family and friends, he did learn to accept that it happened and get on with things and even wilfully uses his powers as a therapy aid rather than just trying to suppress them and hoping that they'd go away or there'd be a 'cure' like he did before. Of course, agreeing to help Osborn and Hood keep all manner of people who shouldn't have been working Initiative recruits for any number of reasons (PTSD, being criminally insane, being the Hood's cronies, to name a few reasons) able to fight in exchange for his mother's health had a pretty detrimental effect on his mental health. As evidenced by the fact that it kind of, y'know, made him a conduit for Nightmare to pass through and try to fuck shit up.

So, yeah. There's definitely a pretty heavy dose of guilt there about going against his better judgement and messing with people's heads and probably getting a good few people killed or crippled as a result.

Generally speaking, he's quite easy-going. Save for a few special people, it doesn't seem to be particularly easy to get under his skin. And even though he generally looks pretty cranky, he also seems pretty mellow most of the time. That said, his temper has proven pretty short. Trauma probably likes to think of himself as someone who'll be smart about things, but when push comes to shove he tends to go running in, fists swinging. And he won't hesitate to go all fear-Hulk on people who push the right buttons. (Threatening his family was more'n likely the core reason for the animosity between him and Hood.)

Since fear is such a massive part of his life, it's probably important to note his biggest fear - that no one will ever care about him because of what he is. He's terrified by the idea of rejection or abandonment. Feeding into this is also a horrible fear of hurting the people closest to him. I mean, he doesn't want to unintentionally fear out on anyone, but given that all the people he's was closest to when his powers kicked in got the worst of it and he hasn't seen them since. Well, it makes sense he'd be worried about it all happening again, even if his control is infinitely better than it was back then. Being able to reconcile things with Abby (and parting amiably with Penance too, if you want to think about it that way) has given him a degree of hope for the future, but these things linger.

✧ ABILITIES/POWERS:

Long story short: Trauma's a boggart.

He can sense the fears of people around him and transform into them. The more intense a given fear is being felt at a given time, the easier it is for him to pick up on - to the extent that he can sense people's fears from quite a distance if they start freaking out enough. When he transforms he is pretty much exactly as the person's perception of their fear is. Like with Armory's arachnaphobia, he became a giant, grotesque spider (in a t-shirt?) The potential with a power like this is, clearly, quite big and quite dangerous, leading to Trauma having been branded an Omega Level Threat and shoved into the Shadow Initiative. (Though that said, almost every time he's tried to use his powers offensively in canon it lead to an epic beatdown-- He even died once!) It does fall short a bit, seeing as it doesn't really work at all on people who are immune to telepathy and anyone who's able to face their fears can fight back effectively enough.

He has, thanks to Mirage's tutelage, pretty much got a handle on his powers now - which is good for everyone - though they can fly out of control seeing as they don't really have an "off" switch or anything. People projecting their fears onto him can force him to transform - like in Secret Invasion, his team being worried that he was a Skrull kind of made him turn into one. And then get beaten up. That was a bad day.

Dear Mr. Ward is also immortal, thanks to his lineage. There isn't really a guideline for this, seeing as he's only died the once and he's not really keen to give it a second go. (For all he knows it may have only been a one time deal!) So there's not like... An average time between dying and waking up or anything - the first time might be the longest. Or the shortest. Though he did come back after embalming and all that, so it's a pretty darn resilient system he's got in there.

✧ TIME OF ARRIVAL: Night time would be good o7

✧ MASK DESIGN: I really wanted to give him a plague doctor mask, but that's just silly (and cumbersome!) I did, however, settle on this little ditty
✧ PLACE OF SOLACE: Camp Hammond

SAMPLES

✧ FIRST PERSON:

[There's nought but a heavy silence at first-- Anyone who knows Terry can probably picture him telling himself to hang up and that this is stupid like some kind of badly thought out reverse psychology.

Then there's a sharp inhalation at the point where one would probably have expected him to hang up, and he starts talking]

Hey-- Dad. It's Terry. Don't delete this yet, I wouldn't call if it wasn't important.

I. [...] I left the Initiative. I'm not explaining why, I just thought you should hear from me instead of anyone else, don't want you to think I'm about to go all crazy supervillain or anything, [The bitterness in his tone is almost palpable here - this is ridiculous] I probably owe you that much. Not that I expect them to really care enough to come looking for me-- though I guess I'm kind of a. Criminal. ... Now...

[trails off-- aaah shit he wasn't supposed to say that last bit out loud.]

--Anyway. I, uh...

[Silence. He hesitates a bit, wanting to add a bit more, maybe a proper goodbye? But he just hangs up instead. Why even pretend to be amiable about this mess anyway?]

I also have a few threads too, if that helps!

✧ THIRD PERSON:

Breathe in. Out. One step at a time. He'd get there soon enough.

... Wherever there was, anyway.

He had contemplated going back to Pittsfield, the idea of finding where Nightmare's cult was hiding out and bringing it down was, initially, incredibly tempting. More than contemplated it, in fact. For a good while he'd been dead set on finding this Karl guy to show him what he'd brought into this world. It'd be a lie if he said he hadn't thought about a dramatic monologue for the occasion and everything. He'd stand there and ask something that would be pointedly ridiculous in any other situation - if he was proud. If this was the glory of Nightmare he'd been praying for.

Thankfully for his dignity, he decided against it. He'd never been one for speeches anyway and everything he could think of was hammy and lacked genre appropriateness in a way that rivalled The Room. Revenge was hardly the best thing for a Journey of Self Discovery anyhow, and he was a little doubtful that it would be as fulfilling as he liked to think (which was really fucking fulfilling.)

Trauma frowned as he worked his way through his drink - a chocolate-peanutbutter milkshake, which was hardly the manly or dramatic drink people would have on this kind of journey, but it did manage to satisfy all sorts of cravings he didn't even know he had. It was totally worth it, even if it made him look like a fifteen year-old and made one well-meaning-but-annoying old lady ask if his parents had left him here alone. - he really had no idea what to do with himself.

What he really wanted to do was find Doctor Strange - he'd clashed with Nightmare before, right? - but finding out where he was was proving to be more than a little difficult. The accepted method seemed to be that Doctor Strange found you instead. Maybe right now wasn't even the best time with all this Osborne business going on.

He sighed - a nice, big, laborious sigh as if to let everyone in earshot know that he was not having a Good Time - and got up to pay his bill. Maybe he'd figure out what to do between here and the next stop.

A composition painted on my face, with a smile drawn on

knowyourfears — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 14:24:31 GMT

Body and Appearance
1. Describe the character's height and build. Is he heavyset, thin, short, rangy?
5'10, kind of lanky. He has that annoying kind of bodytype where it's really hard to put on weight of any kind. NO MUSCLE FOR YOU, TRAUMA.

2. How old is he?
20/21-ish. Canon doesn't give you anything to go by except REALLY FRAKKIN' YOUNG so I figured three years is ample time for his life to go tits up and for all the Initiative junk too.

3. Describe his posture. Does he carry himself well or does he slouch?
Um.

4. How is his health? Is he fit or out of shape? Any illnesses or conditions? Any physical disabilities?
PRETTY HEALTHY. Especially given xi's propensity for disaster. He has a terrible diet but he totally sneaks into the gym at night when no one's about. The Initiative whipped him in to pretty good shape and he'd like to keep that up. He doesn't get ill all that often either, and when he does it's almost never manflu. He's much more of the KEEP GOING TILL I DROP kind of person. In fact I'd wager his productivity goes up when he's sick :U

5. How does he move? Is he clumsy, graceful, tense, fluid?

6. How attractive is this character physically? How does he perceive himself in the mirror?
NOT UGLY? I mean he's not bad looking and he certainly doesn't think he is. He's kind of... average, I guess? Nothing really STANDS OUT about him anyhow. Y'know aside from the fact that your 21 year-old therapist is probably wearing eyeliner.

7. Describe his complexion. Dark, light, clear, scarred?
PALE AS FUCK. There's some colour in his cheeks. Just so you know he's like. Alive. But he really doesn't tan or. Anything. At all.

8. Describe his hair: color, texture, style.

9. What color are his eyes?

10. Does the character have any other noteworthy features?

11. What are his chief tension centers?

12. What is the character's wardrobe like? Casual, dressy, utilitarian? Bright colors, pastels, neutrals? Is it varied, or does he have six of the same suit?

13. Do his clothes fit well? Does he seem comfortable in them?

14. Does he dress the same on the job as he does in his free time? If not, what are the differences?

15. You knew it was coming: Boxers, briefs or commando?

Speech
1. What does this character's voice sound like? High-pitched, deep, hoarse?
It's kind of weird, I've always said his voice is probably quite middle-of-the-road and that definitely fits, but in my head his really quite deep? Not so much that he's really hard to hear and it's quite clear. Not like, freakishly deep as if he's sudden;y channelling Barry White or something, I don't think it's so deep that it's odd, but definitely a lil' bit down there.

2. How does he normally speak? Loud, soft, fast, evenly? Does he talk easily, or does he hesitate?

3. Does the character have a distinct accent or dialect? Any individual quirks of pronunciation? Any, like, you know, verbal tics?

4. What language/s does he speak, and with how much fluency?

5. Does he switch languages or dialects in certain situations?

6. Is he a good impromptu speaker, or does he have to think about his words?

7. Is he eloquent or inarticulate? Under what circumstances might this change?

Mental and Emotional
1. How intelligent is this character? Is he book-smart or street-smart?
He's... Smart. Not exceptionally so but he's improved a lot over the last few years in that regard. He definitely has a very high aptitude for learning so long as he actually gives a damn. One could totally argue that he's got near enough a degree level of knowledge in psych at this point through cramming for his certificate and a lot of self-study. He wouldn't, but one could.

2. Does he think on his feet, or does he need time to deliberate?
On his feet. All the time. He wouldn't think so but he's pretty good at snap decisions. He bogs himself down when he's got time to think things through with a lot of self-doubting.

3. Describe the character's thought process. Is he more logical, or more intuitive? Idealistic or practical?

4. What kind of education has the character had?
High school, he has his GED. Everything after that is a lot of tutoring and self study.

5. What are his areas of expertise? What, if anything, is he interested in learning more about?

6. Is he an introvert or an extrovert?

7. Describe the character's temperament. Is he even-tempered or does he have mood swings? Cheerful or melancholy? Laid-back or driven?
MISERABLE.

Actually, on a day-to-day basis he's pretty chill. He's pretty good about not winding himself about inconsequential shit or letting things get him down. (I imagine the fact that he's totally seeing a therapist now helps.) That said, he has a real tendency towards unrelenting pessimism and he's got a pretty volatile temper tucked away in there. If you push his buttons enough, he will go fear-hulk on you.

8. How does he respond to new people or situations? Is he suspicious, relaxed, timid, enthusiastic?

9. Is he more likely to act, or to react?

10. Which is his default: fight or flight?
He'd like to think flight - since that's, y'know, smart - but it's totally fight. He likes to think of himself as someone who'd do the smart thing so they can come back and approach the situation rationally, but in practice he's very much a 'jump in with both feet and fists flying' kind of guy.

11. Describe the character's sense of humor. Does he appreciate jokes? Puns? Gallows humor? Bathroom humor? Pranks?

12. Does the character have any diagnosable mental disorders? If yes, how does he deal with them?
Depression, totally. Nobody with a guilt complex that massive could get away without it. By this part it's pretty manageable, and it doesn't really affect him at all in his everyday life, but everyone has things that set them off in that downward spiral. Thankfully he hasn't had one of those since he got to XI but he keeps his therapist's number on hand just in case. (Well. In his phone, but that doesn't sound as DRAMATIC.)

13. What moments in this character's life have defined him as a person?

14. What does he fear?
Being alone. Being rejected. Hurting people close to him. They kind of form a vicious cycle of. Viciousness.

15. What are his hopes or aspirations?

16. What is something he doesn't want anyone to find out about him?

Relationships
1. Describe this character's relationship with his parents.

2. Does the character have any siblings? What is/was their relationship like?

3. Are there other blood relatives to whom he is close? Are there ones he can't stand?

4. Are there other, unrelated people whom he considers part of his family? What are his relationships with them?

5. Who is/was the character's best friend? How did they meet?

6. Does he have other close friends?

7. Does he make friends easily, or does he have trouble getting along with people?

8. Which does he consider more important: family or friends?
I'd say family. I mean the fact that he doesn't really have any friends helps, but- I mean. Even though he hasn't seen them in years and doesn't really expect to see them again, threatening his family will make him flip out on you. He doesn't stand for that shit. I mean, if he got close enough to someone to really care deeply about them and expect it to be reciprocal, it'd probably bump them up to not!family status anyway. So.

9. Is the character single, married, divorced, widowed? Has he been married more than once?
Single. Forever and ever.

10. Is he currently in a romantic relationship with someone other than a spouse?
Nyet.

11. Who was his first crush? Who is his latest?

12. What does he look for in a romantic partner?

13. Does the character have children? Grandchildren? If yes, how does he relate to them? If no, does he want any?

14. Does he have any rivals or enemies?
Nnnnot really. He has this totally irrational dislike of some people, but nothing strong enough to put them on rival or enemy level.

15. What is the character's sexual orientation? Where does he fall on the Kinsey scale?
ERM. Somewhere between an X and a 1. However that works. I mean he's pretty fucking asexual and relationships/sex is like this far away concept of "MAYBE IN THE FUTURE" rather than anything he's concerned with immediately. He's been pretty exclusively interested in girls throughout his life though (mancrushes notwithstanding). I could totally picture him being swayed by the right dude maybe but it'd take a lot of... Swaying. I can't imagine it would last that long either. Nor any relationship right now, for that matter.

16. How does he feel about sex? How important is it to him?
He doesn't.

No, um. SERIOUSLY. As I said above, it's like an abstract, far away concept for him rather than something he wants or needs. He doesn't really have any vested interest in it so. Yeah. idk where I'm going with this /scoots along

17. What are his turn-ons? Turn-offs? Weird bedroom habits?
Spontaneity. Not even just sexually, I imagine that's a quality he really likes in people because it's something he lacks. He has his moments. Maybe. But overall he's not a very spontaneous person, he spends too much time deliberating and deciding he's being stupid for that. He probably quite likes a bit of assertiveness too, but there's a thin line between being assertive and flat out domineering and he really doesn't go for that. It freaks him out a bit.

Weird bedroom habits? To be fair I don't think he's had the chance to develop any yet. I imagine he's probably ridiculously quiet in bed - lots of gasps and breathing and all that shit. None of this moaning or crying out business - BUT WHO'S TO SAY?

Beliefs
1. Do you know your character's astrological (zodiac of choice) sign? How well does he fit type?
UM. In the chinese zodiac he's a snake, which kind of semi-fits I guess.

2. Is this character religious, spiritual, both, or neither? How important are these elements in his life?

3. Does this character have a personal code of morals or ethics? If so, how did that begin? What would it take to compromise it?

4. How does he regard beliefs that differ from his? Is he tolerant, intolerant, curious, indifferent?

5. What prejudices does he hold? Are they irrational or does he have a good reason for them?

Daily Life
1. What is the character's financial situation? Is he rich, poor, comfortable, in debt?

2. What is his social status? Has this changed over time, and if so, how has the change affected him?

3. Where does he live? House, apartment, trailer? Is his home his castle or just a place to crash? What condition is it in? Does he share it with others?

4. Besides the basic necessities, what does he spend his money on?

5. What does he do for a living? Is he good at it? Does he enjoy it, or would he rather be doing something else?

6. What are his interests or hobbies? How does he spend his free time?

7. What are his eating habits? Does he skip meals, eat out, drink alcohol, avoid certain foods?

Associations
Which of the following do you associate with the character, or which is his favorite:

1. Color?
2. Smell?
3. Time of day?
4. Season?
5. Book?
6. Music?
7. Place?
8. Substance?
9. Plant?
10. Animal?

END
{{ Get the HTML here so you can do it yourself. }}

aaah

knowyourfears — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 23:00:38 GMT

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

knowyourfears — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 16:08:22 GMT

Friends

First Last	First Last	First Last
First Last	First Last	First Last

Profile Credits

Profile By Storybookending

Terrance Ward

Basic Information

Sex:	Male
Birthday:	12 February 1989
Hometown:	Pittsfield, Massachusetts
Political Views:	It's hip to be liberal.
Religious Views:	Agnostic

Personal Information

Favorite Music:	Nine Inch Nails, Mindless Self Indulgence, A Perfect Circle, Tool, Lacuna Coil, My Chemical Romance, Rammstein, The Mars Volta, AFI, etc. etc.
Favorite Books	[insert some hideously pretentious philosophy texts and really trashy crime novels here. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE]
Favorite Quotations:	"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." --Nelson Mandela
About Me:	I'm terrible at these sections.

Contact Information

Emails:	tward@xavierinstitute.com fiftytwospades@gmail.com
IM Screen Name(s):	fiftytwospades - skype andcatapults - AIM
Mobile Phone:	+1-413-987-5542
City/Town:	North Salem, NY
Neighborhood:	Salem Center

Education and Work

Employer:	Camp [NAME]
Position:	Counsellor
City/Town:	[PLACE]
Time Period:	2008-2009
Employer:	Xavier Institute for Higher Learning
Position:	Counsellor
City/Town:	North Salem, NY
Time Period:	2009-Now

Groups

Member Of:

Group, Group, Group, Group, Group.

[OOC] Application

knowyourfears — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:55:27 GMT

- PLAYER INFORMATION
NAME: Simone
AGE: 20
PRONOUN OF CHOICE: No preference
EMAIL ADDRESS: simmichan@gmail.com
AIM SCREENNAME & MAIN PERSONAL LJ ACCOUNT: BluePeterLadyboy/ration
OTHER CHARACTERS: N/A

- CHARACTER INFORMATION
NAME: Terrance Ward
CODENAME: Trauma
SERIES/SOURCE: Avengers: The Initiative || Marvel 616
AGE: 20
GENDER: Male
ROLE: Counsellor

BACKGROUND:

Terry's life was, like so many out there, pretty normal until his powers manifested. He grew up in a fairly tight family unit with his parents and younger brother. Even when he started going through his "goth phase" and his dad found it the most hilarious thing in the world to make fun of, they were still a close unit. It was all in fun, no one got hurt. (Let's face it, when a teenage boy starts wearing black lipstick and studded collars, finding it funny is definitely one of the better reactions among fathers across the world.)

Oh, and then that fateful High School horror story.

It should have been simple. Go out on a limb and ask out a girl who clearly had no interest whatsoever in a guy like you. Get shot down. Get angry, get teased by your friends. Get over it. That's how it should've been. That's how it happens to millions of guys across the world all the time.

But of course, that's not how it went down.

So Terry got angry, understandably so. Who was this chick, thinking she was so much better than everyone else? But instead of just bitching her our and tromp back to his friends like he'd intended to do, his powers decided that was the perfect moment to make themselves known. First attacking the girl with a vision of her insecurities about her weight and eating disorder. Then when her boyfriend tried to step in, Terry unfortunately outed him as having a bit of a thing for one of his friends. In the hallway, of all places. One of his friends managed to get him out of the corridor, out of the way of anyone who might have some issues to take up with him into an unoccupied room. She tried to reassure him and calm him down, "they deserved it." "That was cool, like a mutant." But Terry was, understandably, a mess. He was angry, sure, but he hadn't wanted to hurt anyone. And where had those powers even come from? He was confused, terrified and really pretty distressed, and before he knew what had happened, he'd unintentionally unleashed his powers on his friend too, sending her away screaming.

So the smart thing to do at this point was to cut his losses and drop out of school. He finished high school from home via correspondence and pretty much vegitated. No way was he going back into the world after what happened and home was nice and comfortable and safe.

Of course, with a power like his, that security only lasted so long.

The first (rather large) step on the downward hill was during an argument with his mother when he got angry and turned into her worst fear. She got so scared that she had to be commited. It was pretty clear from that point that not even his family was safe from him. He was a danger to anyone who so much as had a bad dream around him and so he withdrew further, holing himself up away from even his family.

The subject of leaving and learning to control his powers properly came up with his dad one morning, (since through sheer willpower alone clearly wasn't working,) and Terry was pretty outraged by the whole thing. He viewed it as his dad just trying to get rid of him. But after some arguing and some unfortunate fears coming to light, he agreed to go and took off within the next few days, having found out about an 'initiative' a state over for helping kids with powers. It turned out to be more along the lines of superhuman boot camp, but he wasn't really aware of that at the time.

He started out learning to use his powers in a purely offensive manner, and got beaten up for it quite a lot, but despite his power being a potentially high level threat, in practice it just wasn't all that great. For a handful of reasons. Like the fact that it doesn't work on people who are immune to telepathy or people with no fears. People who have faced their fears, even, can fight back pretty effectively. The biggest factor, however, was that in spite of being an angry, world-hating kid, he just didn't have it in him to routinely go out and put the hurt on people. (Defending himself or others being a different matter entirely, of course.) He did, however, manage to find a bit of a niche for his powers - mostly under the tutelage of someone with a similar power - in helping people face and overcome their fears and anxieties. And really, in a place that was effectively teaching kids to be soldiers, there was a lot of those going around.

Using connections from within the camp, he got put on the fast track to getting a certificate as an MFCC and became one of the site's official counsellors for the duration of his stay. Unfortunately, due to several circumstances, he couldn't stick around at the camp much longer for the sake of his own sanity and resigned. Thankfully, he didn't have to run around aimlessly for long, since it was shortly after this he heard about the Xavier Institute and he figured, if anything, he could probably help here a little. Offering the kind of help and support that he never had.

PERSONALITY:

Terry seems, at first, to be not much more than an angry emo kid with a strangely appropriate power. Which, well. Is pretty much the truth. He's estranged from his family due to his power (which considers a "condition" rather than a gift) - which is probably what fed into his anger more than anything else. For all the anger and hate he displays, however, he's an inherently good person- just with a few issues to smooth out. Though- when you can't help but pick up on everyone's deepest fears, who wouldn't be? He'd be willing to help out if anyone got close enough to make him care, but he's stuck in a bit of, "the world hates me and I hate it too," place right now.

He's a rather introverted fellow, he's usually the person in his circle of friends who'll stand back and absorb the conversation and offer the occasional bit of input. He's not really fond of talking about himself at any great length or being the centre of attention. Unfortunately, he's a little more than socially awkward, he was one of the ~*~goth kids~*~ at school, which pretty much says a lot about his life as an outsider. Plus it doesn't really help that the last time he went out of his way to talk to someone, his powers manifested and RUINED HIS LIFE.

He's deathly afraid of being alone but he's also terrified of hurting the people closest to him - ever since his powers manifested in High School he's slowly driven everyone away due to the fact that he couldn't control his powers, and they tended to come out during the worst times. (He turned into his mother's worst fear during an argument and she was so traumatised she had to be committed, during an argument with his father he found out his father was afraid of killing him, which was what ultimately made him leave.) Because of this, he tends to keep people at arm's length, better to be alone of his own volition than to be rejected again because of his powers.

Terrance has... a moderate temperament. ("Moderate" meaning "perpetually cranky," but it could be worse.) It takes a lot to get under his skin. Honestly, the only surefire way to get a rise out of him is to threaten his family or the people close to him. That's something that'll get his temper to kick up a notch or ten. Most other things, he tends to just take in his stride. (Or bottle them up to an unhealthy degree. There is nothing wrong with this at all.)

On a professional level, Terry is rather good with people. When he doesn't have to be social, he's generally good at knowing what to say and can usually moderate his crankiness to a degree that isn't either intimidating or just generally unpleasant to be around. In social situations, though, he's pretty much a huge failure. He's uncomfortable around people, insecure and has trouble picking up on cues more often than not. Cues that aren't "shut the hell up," anyway. Of course, most of this stems from the fact that he knows he's not entirely a pleasant guy to be around. ~~That and he spends too much time being in despair to have time for this 'socialising' thing anyway.~~

He's a boggart.

Well. Sort of. His power works in two parts. The first is limited telepathy, with which he can sniff out a person's fears. The second part being a shape-shifting ability, wherin he'll transform into said fear as the person sees it.

Also, despite having his power under control, it's always 'on,' so to speak. Whilst he may not always know what the fears of people around him are, he's always aware of whether or not people around him are afraid or not. The more afraid they are or the more people there are who're scared, the harder it is for him to ignore, even from great distances.

The hugest downside to his power not having an off switch, is probably the fact that it can fly out of control. While he mostly manages to keep a lid on it when he's angry or panicked (not that the same can be said for his temper or judgement,) if people around him project their fears too strongly, he kind of doesn't have any say in the matter.

ANYTHING ELSE?:

- RP SAMPLES
First-person sample:

[There's some awkward fumbling on his part for a moment before he speaks. Oh, he does hate introducing himself so.]

This is Trau-- [Wait, no. Not doing codenames this time, are we? OKAY LET'S START AGAIN.]

Hey, uh. I'm Terry. I'll be one of your counsellors here. [Pause. This is a bad thing to be as horribly awkward as he is about, isn't it.] My door'll pretty much be always open-- so long as I'm not already with someone, anyway. So. Feel free to just drop in or make an appointment, if you'd prefer.

... Um. Looking forward to meeting you all...?

[He hesitates a little and FINALLY cuts the post there. Introducing himself is always so tough :c]

Third-person sample:

Sometimes he hung on to the hope that he could salvage things.

It was rarer these days than it had been when he'd left initially, but it was still there. Some mornings he'd wake up with this naive belief that he could go home and fix things, pick up where life had left off before his powers had kicked in and royally screwed him over.

It was hopeless now, he knew that. It wasn't as if he'd severed his ties entirely, he'd always made sure to send an address back to his dad. And Address and a number every time either changed. But he'd never heard anything back, not a word. Not even a blank birthday card when it rolled around. Not that he'd been expecting anything, but it would've been nice to know he was still remembered. Cared about. He couldn't rightly find it in himself to pin the blame on anyone else, however. How could anyone love someone who was like a walking reminder of everything they ever feared. Care about someone who scared his own mother so badly that she spent most nights strapped to a bed in a mental ward.

He sighed-- you didn't. Couldn't.

So even if it hurt - and God it hurt so, so much when he actually gave himself the chance to ever think about it - he just couldn't seem to find it in himself to blame his dad for wanting to get on with his life, pretend Terry had never existed if it made life a little easier to cope with. If that's how it needed to be, then that was how it needed to be.

There was at least the smallest part of him that hadn't given up, however. Maybe more out of habit than genuine hope for change. He still took the little bit of time, sat as his desk with a tight-lipped frown as he scrawled his new address on the back of a nondescript postcard addressed to his father.

Just in case he ever felt like changing his mind.

[OOC] Application

knowyourfears — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 18:34:38 GMT

- PLAYER INFORMATION
NAME: Simone
AGE: 20
PRONOUN OF CHOICE: Iiii'm. Not particularly bothered.

- CHARACTER INFORMATION
NAME: Terrance Ward
CODENAME: Trauma (THOUGH HE'D HAVE TO COME UP WITH IT/HAVE IT ASSIGNED ICLY!?)
SERIES/SOURCE: Avengers: The Initiative / Marvel 616
AGE: 18
GENDER: Male
ROLE: Student

BACKGROUND:

Terry's life was, like so many out there, pretty normal until his powers manifested. He grew up in a fairly tight family unit with his parents and younger brother. Even when he started going through his "goth phase" and his dad found it the most hilarious thing in the world to make fun of, they were still a close unit. It was all in fun, no one got hurt. (Let's face it, when a teenage boy starts wearing black lipstick and studded collars, finding it funny is definitely among one of the better reactions among fathers across the world.)

Oh, and then that fateful Highschool horror story.

It should have been simple. Go out on a limb and ask out a girl who clearly had no interest whatsoever in a guy like you. Get shot down. Get angry, get teased by your friends. Get over it. That's how it should've been. That's how it happens to millions of guys across the world all the time.

But of course, that's not how it went down.

So Terry got angry, understandably so. Who was this chick, thinking she was so much better than everyone else? But instead of just bitching her our and tromp back to his friends like he'd intentended to do, his powers decided that was the perfect moment to make themselves known. First attacking the girl with a vision of her insecurities about her weight and eating disorder. Then when her boyfriend tried to step in, Terry unfortunately outed him as having a bit of a thing for one of his friends. In the hallway, of all places. One of his friends managed to get him out of the corridoor, out of the way of anyone who might have some issues to take up with him into an unoccupied room. She tried to reassure him and calm him down, "they deserved it." "That was cool, like a mutant." But Terry was, understandably, a mess. He was angry, sure, but he hadn't wanted to hurt anyone. And where had those powers even come from? He was confused, terrified and really pretty distressed, and before he knew what had happened, he'd unintentionally unleashed his powers on his friend too, sending her away screaming.

So the smart thing to do at this point was to cut his losses and drop out of school. He finished high school from home via correspondence and pretty much vegitated. No way was he going back into the world after what happened and home was nice and comfortable and safe.

Of course, with a power like his, that security only lasted so long.

The first (rather large) step on the downward hill was during an argument with his mother when he got angry and turned into her worst fear. She got so scared that she had to be commited. It was pretty clear from that point that not even his family was safe from him. He was a danger to anyone who so much as had a bad dream around him and so he withdrew further, holing himself up away from even his family.

The subject of the Institute came up over breakfast with his dad one day. Terry was indignant, insisting that it wasn't about helping him learn to control his powers, that his father just wanted to get rid of him. Getting this worked up about it, one of his dad's fears came to light. That he was scared he'd kill his own son. That was when it dawned on him just how bad things were, so he agreed to go.

PERSONALITY:

Terry seems, at first, to be not much more than an angry emo kid with a strangely appropriate power. Which, well. Is pretty much the truth. He's estranged from his family due to his power (which considers a "condition" rather than a gift) - which is probably what fed into his anger more than anything else. For all the anger and hate he displays, however, he's an inherently good person- just with a few issues to smooth out. Though- when you can't help but pick up on everyone's deepest fears, who wouldn't be? He'd be willing to help out if anyone got close enough to make him care, but he's stuck in a bit of, "the world hates me and I hate it too," place right now.

He's a rather introverted fellow, he's usually the person in his circle of friends who'll stand back and absorb the conversation and offer the occasional bit of input. He's not really fond of talking about himself at any great length or being the centre of attention. Unfortunately, he's a little more than socially awkward, he was one of the ~*~goth kids~*~ at school, which pretty much says a lot about his life as an outsider. Plus it doesn't really help that the last time he went out of his way to talk to someone, his powers manifested and RUINED HIS LIFE.

He's deathly afraid of being alone but he's also terrified of hurting the people closest to him - ever since his powers manifested in High School he's slowly driven everyone away due to the fact that he couldn't control his powers, and they tended to come out during the worst times. (He turned into his mother's worst fear during an argument and she was so traumatised she had to be committed, during an argument with his father he found out his father was afraid of killing him, which was what ultimately made him agree to go to the Institute.) Because of this, he tends to keep people at arm's length, better to be alone of his own volition than to be rejected again because of his powers.

APPEARANCE: Terry's a pretty average sized guy, standing at 5'10 and weighing 175lbs. Black hair that almost always looks like he just rolled out of bed and blue eyes. These and an apparently acquired fondness for suits make up for a prime target of all kinds of emo-kid comments. He's not exactly the fittest guy out there either, leaning towards "slightly squishy" on the "not-fat-but" scale of body types.

POWERS: Terry has mild telepathic abilities allowing him to know the fears of people around him- these are linked directly to his shape-shifting abilities, wherein he can transform into a physical manifestation of any fears the people around him have.

As it is, he has little-to-no control over his powers, if anyone around him consciously acknowledges a fear, he'll transform there and then and the more afraid they are, the less say he has in the matter. Alongside this, when he gets particularly angry or distressed, his powers can spiral out of control, picking up on the deepest fears of everyone around him, almost systematically attacking anyone who tries to confront him, regardless of if they're his friend or otherwise.

Also his power doesn't work on robots.

ANYTHING ELSE?: It might not be a good idea to assign him a roommate. Not until he learns to control his powers, at least. Nobody wants to have a nightmare and then find IT standing at the foot of their bed.