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Batgirl #5

2012-01-12T21:08:01Z

So she's back.

Big freaking deal.

knowit_all @ 2012-01-05T15:52:00

2012-01-05T13:52:51Z

[boring day, playing Skyrim for hours]

knowit_all @ 2011-12-14T15:32:00

2011-12-14T13:31:49Z

[trying not to faint, bleeding badly]

knowit_all @ 2011-12-10T19:50:00

2011-12-10T17:50:35Z

Getting a forensic phychology degree? Sucks!

knowit_all @ 2011-11-20T13:40:00

2011-11-20T11:40:20Z

I think they need my help.

#408 Awkward

2011-10-13T11:43:29Z

Wearing again the Batgirl costume was awkward, but it also felt right, you know? Like an old friend you have years to see and suddenly you start to talk and it’s like you are best friend again and nothing had change. Wearing the costume felt like…it felt like going home.

Most people will argue with my decision; my dad is going to have a stroke or a heart attack or both. Dinah doesn’t approve, but she doesn’t judge either. She’s…I don’t know what she is. We, um, we haven’t spoke much since I decided to be Batgirl again and I don’t blame her.

Sometimes…sometimes I don’t know why I want to jump from rooftop to rooftop so much. I never thought myself as an adrenaline junkie and I don’t think I am. But I like what I like and I like being out on the streets and…

Yeah, being Batgirl is awkward, but it’s also right.

379. Playing favourites

2011-03-21T12:03:56Z

Guilty as charged.

I try my best not to do it, but I fail most of the times. That doesn’t bother me much. I am a human and humans tend to favour their favourites. It’s the knowledge that people know and depending on that is what bothers me. Take Black Canary for example. The woman in unable to follow a simple order if I’m not yelling to her ear and most of the times she will ignore me and all will be great after the mission is over. Yet, when Huntress do the same…let’s just say that Huntress had a good reason not to like me very much.

TM #370- Flu season

2011-01-29T12:50:31Z

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dinah asked for the second time in as many minutes.

Barbara nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’re sure? I can stay if you want.”

“Dinah, I’m fin--“ Barbara sneezed and instantly her hand went to find another tissue. Well, she couldn’t deny that she didn’t have the flu anymore. She was feeling low for a few days now, but today she had the whole package: fever, chills, headache, and fatigue.

“I can see that,” Dinah said dryly and took her cell phone out. “I’m going to order some soup, you will eat it without a single complain and then you’ll go to the bed. Black Canary’s orders so not a single word.”

Barbara tried to protest. “You’ll get the flu too.”

“I’m not going to get anything, genius girl. I, unlike someone in this room that I will not name, have done my flu shot. Now go to bed and stay there.”

Shivering Barbara could only do what she was told. She was feeling awful and the last thing she wanted was to screw things up while on duty. “Ask Proxy to cover for me.”

Dinah smiled. “Will do Boss lady. Now go to bed and stay there until you don’t look as if you’re going to faint any second now.”

Barbara rolled her eyes and said between her teeth. “I don’t look that bad.”

“You said something?” The Canary asked.

“Nothing. I’m going to bed now,” Barbara wheeled herself but stopped. “Dinah? Thanks.”

359 - When did you last run, and why?

2010-11-02T11:14:52Z

Long time ago.

Except if you count wheelchair races. Then never. Okay, maybe once when Dinah had both her legs in cast and I had fired her. But I did it only to cheer her up! She can be such a pain in the ass something.

The last time I run…I was still young, still Batgirl, still fighting the good fight. From all the things I miss running is what I miss the most. Sex…it’s not that bad. It takes some time and foreplay last a bit longer, but if he’s not complaining then I’m not complaining.

But running? I used to love to run. As I child I used to run all the time driving my father mad. I was fast too. Almost made it to the national team, but Spy Smasher had another opinion. Funny thing? She didn’t make it. Confess that she had thrown me out of my line and we both stayed home to watch the Olympics from the TV.

God, I still love to run! If I could have one wish…It’s kinda selfish, right? To have one wish and wish something for yourself. I should ask for world peace. Next time I find a genie I’ll ask for world peace, I swear.

But I can dream, right?

I can dream.

#352 How do you respond to pressure?

2010-09-11T11:14:29Z

Modesty runs in the Bat family but…

Barbara eats pressure for breakfast and then asks for a second plate.

Every day is under a lot of pressure, but then again most of her family and friends are. But when Black Canary is fighting a dozen of ninja assassins, Huntress is screaming to the comm link about sending Hawk to help her and the JLA suddenly remembers that she’s the world’s best hacker and needs her assistance.

Of course that’s not happening every day. Some night are so boring that Barbara wants to shut the internet down and then pull it back up only to have something to do. Then a phone rings and someone is doing something somewhere and she’s back wishing for a quiet night.

knowit_all @ 2010-08-23T23:38:00

2010-08-23T20:37:57Z

Why no one listen to me?

#346 What haven’t you finish?

2010-08-01T07:59:47Z

Final Fantasy XIII.

I just don’t have the time to finish it. And it annoys the hell out of me. It’s not that I’m a gamer; I like to play, but it’s not my life. But kids half my age have finish the stupid game and I’m stuck in the middle and unless something change I don’t see any improvement.

[locked from people they know her]

Sometimes I wish I had more time. I can’t be Barbara and Oracle. I have to be Oracle or Barbara. I can’t be like Bruce; I can’t pretend that Oracle is me. Oracle is part of me not the other way around. It is confusing, I know. Bruce can do that to people. Confuse them till they don’t know what’s true and what’s a lie.

[end]

I think I’m going to find a few hours this weekend for myself. I don’t know if I finish the game, but I do know what I need some time away from everything.

#341-What makes you cry?

2010-07-01T11:21:40Z

What makes me cry?

A lot of things. Books for example. I have cried reading a book. Songs. I’ve cried listening to song more than a few times. I don’t cry often in movies, but if there’s one movie that makes me cry every time is American History X.

I cry every time I watch it. Every time!

My dad makes me cry. When I look at him, when he doesn’t notice, and see the worry lines that weren’t there a few months before…Dick makes me cry. He’s everything I could wish for and then some yet we can’t be together. It’s not his fault. It was never his fault.

Sometimes me dreams make my cry. Sometimes I’m flying and others I’m trying not to open the door, but I always open it. I always open it at the end because I know it’s just a dream and dreams can’t hurt me.

Not again anyway.

[Locked from people that know her]

Sometimes I cry when I see kids running around. I can’t help it…it’s just…I used to love to run. I loved to run so much. Better than flying of dancing or even sex. Okay, maybe not better than sex.

God, I wish I could run one more time.

[end]

338, Tell the story behind your name (or nickname).

2010-06-10T11:28:26Z

Barbara Gordon

The day I was born I was the only redhead, green eyes baby and I want to believe that they named me Barbara because of that. It means ‘foreign woman’ in Latin so I don’t know. It’s better than to admit that my grandmother and my aunt had also the same name.

Gordon is the last name of my father and I’m very proud to be a Gordon.

My nickname on the other hand; the first wasn’t something I had a lot to say. I was young, I was wearing the bat in my chest and I had boobs so Batgirl. It gave me a little of Batman’s confidence although it made people think I was Batman’s sidekick. I was never Batman’s sidekick! That was the boy wonder.

My other nickname…I really don’t want to share this story.

#335 Write something you know by heart

2010-05-23T13:37:25Z

Other people listen to Barry White when they want to get in the mood; I listen to
Jeff Buckley.

This song? I don’t just know it by heart, I can feel it in my heart too.

Twenty-nine pearls in your kiss, a singing smile,
coffee smell and lilac skin, your flame in me.
Twenty-nine pearls in your kiss, a singing smile,
coffe smell and lilac skin, your flame in me.
I'm only here for this moment.
I know everybody here wants you.
I know everybody here thinks he needs you.
I'll be waiting right here just to show you

How our love will blow it all away.
Such a thing of wonder in this crowd,
I'm a stranger in this town, you're free with me.
And our eyes locked in downcast love, I sit here proud,
Even now you're undressed in your dreams with me.
I'm only here for this moment.
I know everybody here wants you.
I know everybody here thinks he needs you.
I'll be waiting right here just to show you
How our love will blow it all away.
I know the tears we cried have dried on yesterday
The sea of fools has parted for us
there's nothing in our way, my love
Don't you see, don't you see?
You're just the torch to put the flame
to all our guilt and shame,
And I'll rise like an ember in your name.
I know, I know,
I know everybody here wants you.
I know everybody here thinks he needs you.
I'll be waiting right here just to show you
Let me show that love can rise, rise just like embers.
Love can taste like the wine of the ages, babe.
And I know they all look so good from a distance,
But I tell you I'm the one.
I know everybody here thinks he needs you, thinks he needs you
And I'll be waiting right here just to show you.

331-Talk about something you used to love.

2010-05-05T08:02:49Z

I used to love to run.

Early morning, when the sun had yet to rise and everyone was still asleep in their beds and the traffic was slow. I used to love running in the rain. Other kids liked to play hide and seek, but I liked to run. Drove my dad mad with agony a few times. Sometimes I could run as fast as I could; others I run just to pass my time.

It came handy later on. As Batgirl I mean. It was good to know that no matter what I was faster than every thug in the room. Or alley, doesn’t really matter anyway. I wasn’t great when I started. Just a kid with high hopes. I wore a mask to go to a masque party and without knowing it I was a vigilante.

But I got better. At least I want to believe I got better. I was always a fast learner. Sometimes I like to think if I would be still in the game if I wasn’t in a chair. A couple of times I almost gave up. I semi-retired for a few months, but I came back only to retire again.

And now I’m fighting crime 24/7. Who would have know, right? I didn’t. Running was the only stable thing in my life. If I had a bad day I would run my problems away. If I had a good day I would run because I could.

I loved to run. I still do. But I can’t stand watch people run.

I can’t stand reminding me of what I lost.

329: Get out

2010-04-13T19:18:43Z

Get out.

My dad says that to me a lot. And Dinah. And Dick. But usually is my dad that bothers me to get out of my ‘what-I-was-thinking-when-I-bought-this’ apartment and go for a walk. No pun intended. I understand he worried about me, but this is what I need to do. This is what I do; fighting crime behind a screen.

But I do get out…some. I play basketball. I kicked, sorry, my team kicked Wendy’s ~~ass~~ team last Friday. And I have a job, so I have to get out. I even agreed to go out with Nick for crying out loud. Of course the date lasted exactly ten minutes, but I did get out.

I don’t know why my dad is complaining in the first place! Except if by ‘go out’ he means ‘get laid, find a man, get married’.

327: “Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.”

2010-03-26T12:20:53Z

“Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.”

Days are full with silence. She wakes up, she makes breakfast, she takes the bus to work, and she comes home and makes dinner. And then she puts her mask on and starts the journey.

Gotham is a pretty big city and she never knows that she’s going to face that night. Some nights she goes from rooftop to rooftop and she finds nothing. Those nights are rare thought. Most nights she finds fear and agony and anger. Gotham is her home, but damn if she doesn’t want to get out of here someday.

Maybe when she gets older. Maybe when her dad retire from his job, maybe then they would go somewhere nice, with less crime. Ah, well. Who she’s trying to fool? She loves Gotham and she loves whatever that damn city offers her. This is home. This is her home and she loves it.

She loves that no alley is the same after a few hours; an alley that is empty in one minute it can be full with life the next. It’s almost if the city is alive and changes with every hour. She can travel all around the world without leaving her own home; the Chinatown, the little Italy, the Greek neighbour.

Every night she travels and everyday she goes home.

324: What would you say to yourself?

2010-03-06T08:26:14Z

If you, as a child, could see yourself now, what do you think you would say?

All those times dad asked you to look before opening the door and you still didn’t learn, eh? And what’s wrong with you? You’re having a beautiful boy that wants to date you and you rather spent your days behind a computer?

Don’t you remember how we did dad mad with anger and worry because we were always outside playing hide and seek with the other kids? We were so good! Speaking of good, what happened to Harvard? Okay, I’m not saying the opposite, but Gotham State is not as good as Harvard.

Harvard, dude, Harvard! We could go there with our eyes close and you chose to go to the State University?

I don’t get you adults!

322-The animal associated with you in the Chinese zodiac.

2010-02-14T12:33:03Z

Not even the former Boy Wonder knows about this and until we get (again) up close and personal he will never get to know.

I didn’t celebrate my birthday this year. Too much had happened to celebrate and if I want to be honest, I don’t see why I have to celebrate my birthday. Why would I want to celebrate getting older? It was fun when I was sixteen, but I’m not sixteen long time now.

But I did give myself a present; a Chinese dragon tattoo to my waist. I can’t say that it hurt much. I can’t feel much from a certain point and below. I never really wanted a tattoo. It was no practical when I was Batgirl. The red hair were bad enough, but a tattoo? It would scream my identity to everyone plus, I’m pretty sure my dad would have a stroke if he found out.

Why did I make a tattoo then? I guess I was tired of not be able to control my body. It’s a feeling that comes and goes. People say I’m a control freak and they are right. But something I can’t control as much as I want it. Like my body. I have no control of my lower body. So, I let them to draw a dragon to my body to show that I still have control over my own body.

My body and I’ll do what I like with it? Yeah, that was my thinking back then. It doesn’t make much sense now, but I swear it did. I don’t regret it though. I can’t see it every day so I’m not going to be bored. And I can think of a few stories of why I made it to impress a future date. All of them are better than the real reason; ‘I wanted a tattoo and I couldn’t think of anything so I choose to do my Chinese zodiac’. Yeah, not interesting enough.

But the tattoo is awesome!

319-Friday

2010-02-05T08:33:37Z

Most people went out Friday night, but not Barbara. Even as a young girl she didn’t like going out Friday night. Too much crowd, too much noise and despite wearing her Batgirl costume, she was still a bookworm. And when you have seen with your own eyes what night life could do to you it wasn’t as appealing as it used to.

Friday night was good when you were searching for information. The weekend was making people careless in a way. People often left their computers open or didn’t bother to go back and close them. People were talking more too. It was as if Friday hold a special power over people making them do things that wouldn’t even think to do any other day of the week.

“Okay, let’s see if you moved,” she whispered to no one and typed something to her PowerBook.

She was all alone in her new apartment. It wasn’t as fancy as the Clocktower, but it did the job. It kept her warm, safe and had enough space for her to roll. Her dad had made sure to keep the neighbor safe and tight so a police car was making rounds every hour or so.

But the police wasn’t everywhere and couldn’t be everywhere. Some crimes were too hidden to be seen. And sometimes some criminals were inside the police making it impossible to even come close to them. Like Detective Jeff Reichs for example. Fifteen years on the force they didn’t stop him from bringing illegal women to the US from the East Europe.

Of course he wasn’t the big fish. Low class thugs like him never were. But she could use him as bait. She was monitoring his moves for weeks now. So far he was behaving himself, but Barbara had his profile. Reichs was a man of habit and his habit was women.

She smiled when she saw that he was on his computer. The trick was to let him do all the work for her. Taking a sip from her café latte she waited for him to do a mistake and a couple of hours later he did. Reichs contact a man known as ‘Wasp’. The Wasp guy broke the connection after a minute, but the damage had been done. Barbara had his IP address now.

Friday had been good so far.

317-What do you still have from when you were young?

2010-01-23T12:10:28Z

My old Batgirl costume.

Bruce is not the only one that has a memorial in his cave. Technically, I don’t have a cave, but skeletons in my closet I have plenty. My old, Batgirl costume. My Batgirl motorcycle. The bullet Joker shot me with. Lots of painful in memory stuff. I don’t know why we keep doing this to ourselves. Maybe it’s our way to punish ourselves for not being smart enough.

Maybe Bruce has another reason although I doubt it. We like to keep stuff (costumes, giant coins, bullets, etc…) as a constant reminder of how things could have been. From time to time I like to get my Batgirl costume out from where I keep it and have a look. The questions come almost immediately. If I hadn’t opened the door would I still be Batgirl? If my dad had opened the door what would happen? All those questions and I’ll never find the answers.

316- What were you doing ten years ago?

2010-01-15T09:39:44Z

She had seen them, but they didn’t even know she was in the same room with them. She was getting good. Not Batman good, but Pixie Boots good. Batgirl bent her body more and became one with the shadows. She was here to gather information, not to fight. Batman had made it perfectly clean to her that she was not to fight them.

Barbara was more than sure that she could handle six thugs (only two of them had guns), but the Boss had look at her with his ‘I can freeze Hell’ glance so looking was what she was doing for the moment. To tell the truth, that was more of her thing. Of course she liked to kick ass, but she was a smart, modern girl and she knew that if you had the right information you had the power.

For example, her work at the library. People were depending on her to find the right book. If, for some reason, decided to ‘forget’ something the other dude was doomed. Her father was spending more time analysing photographs and evidences than being out in the streets beating criminals.

Information was the key to win a fight; know more than your opponent and you will win without much effort.

“Batgirl in position. Out.”

314- Write about a memorable family meal.

2009-12-31T17:49:00Z

“Are you okay, Barbara? Do you want to move the table closer to you?”

He doesn’t understand what he does to me. The last thing in his mind is making me feel even worst that I already feel. He tries to help me. He only succeeded the opposite; making me feel useless. Like I need him for that.

I shake my head. “No dad, it’s okay. I’m okay.”

That’s not my voice. That broken, lifeless voice is not coming from me. I can’t let him win. I can’t let Joker take that from me too. He took my legs, my freedom; I can’t let him take away my life. But I’m too tired to try and frankly I don’t want to try! I just want to be alone.

No, that’s not what I truly want. What I want is to run again. Yeah, that’s not going to happen. This chair and I are going to be great friends. Best pals. This chair is where I’m going to spent the rest of my life. God, what a fucking bastard you can be sometimes.

“I know you must been sick of the hospital food, but the doctors gave me specific orders of what you can eat, so…”

He serves me something like a soup. I like soup. My dad can make a great soup, but this thing in my plate is boiled water with a couple of potatoes. Not whole mind you. From what I can see it’s a potato cut in three.

Suddenly I’m not that hungry anymore.

“I’m not hungry.”

He sighs. I can hear a lecture coming.

“Honey, you have to eat something. I know it’s not what you expected for your first meal outside the hospital--“

I don’t let him finish. I take the spoon and eat a couple of spoonfuls before throwing the spoon to the table.

“There! I ate something. Happy? Can you leave me the fuck alone now?”

I’m not good enough with wheeling myself around, but somehow I manage to go the next room. It takes me five minutes to realize that my life will never be the same. This is not a dream I’m about to wake up. This is really happening. If my dad is not at my face, yelling at me about my behaviour on the table, things are really bad.

Like I need him to tell me that.

knowit_all @ 2009-12-13T00:07:00

2009-12-12T22:07:05Z

Your International Spy Name is Kitty Sparks

Your Code Name: Timberwolf

You Reside in: Rome

Why You're a Good Spy: You can talk your way out of anything

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