Red's Tales

ken_redtail — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 03:15:33 GMT

Only a couple more weeks are left in registration for LAFF's fantasy football and already we have a record 12 teams playing and still room for more.

To register, simply click on the link below:
http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/register/tos?league_id=243855&password=hahaha

Draft will be August 29th at 5pm. Feel free to invite your friends! This year is open to every furry who wants to get in on the fun!

And Now The News

ken_redtail — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 02:32:15 GMT

*Sonia Sotomayor was sworn in Saturday as the 111th Supreme Court justice in the nation's history as well as the first Hispanic judge.

*A Wisconsin man met his match when 4 women he was sleeping with, including his wife, lured him to a motel where they tied him up and glued certain body parts together. Word has it that as soon as they face the criminal charges against him, that they will guest on The View.

*Firefox turned 1 billion last week, when it reached its 1 billionth download.

*Radio Shack has announced their popular electronics chain will now be known as "The Shack."

*John Hughes, the director and writer of many of the movies that helped define the 80s such as The Breakfast Club, Home Alone and Ferris Bueller's Day Off died last week of a heart attack.

*Plans have been proposed for a Lake Geneva memorial for Gary Gygax, creator of the game Dungeons and Dragons.

*Harry Patch was laid to rest on Thursday. At 111, he was Europe's oldest man and Britain's last survivor of the trenches of World War I. Only 1 Englishman survives from the Great War, a 108 year old sailor. Patch, who fought in many of the battles as a gunner, including a battle where he was wounded when a shell burst above him and the medic had to remove shrapnel from his groin WITHOUT anesthesia while 4 buddies pinned down his limbs, was a vocal advocate of peace in his later years and often gave speeches as one of the dwindling band of WWI vets in Britain.

And that's the news. Because we've both missed it.

ken_redtail — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 20:42:21 GMT

View Poll: #1439710

ken_redtail — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:10:51 GMT

Shameless plug time.

Where can you find the latest Doctor Who trailer released this past weekend, as well as photos and footage of David Tennant's liplock with John Barrowman?

whofurs, of course!

And Now The News

ken_redtail — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 07:24:39 GMT

Because you demanded its return...

*The Taco Bell chihuahua passed away at age 15.

*Parents were banned from attending their children’s sports day this week in East Bedfordshire because ‘it would be impossible to guard against pedophiles’. A spokesman said: “All unsupervised adults must be kept away from children.”

*Chicago's Sears Tower was formally renamed the Willis Tower last week despite the angst of Chicagoans everywhere.

*Facebook is under fire from the Canadian government for legal issues regarding its usage of user personal information in ragards to closed accounts and third-party games and quizzes.

*NASA has unveiled newly refurbished footage of the first moon landing 40 years ago this 20th, digitally restored with the help of the same film company that restored the movie Casablanca.

*NASA was also excited to find and photograph the sites of each of the lunar landings, each lander a small visible dot in the images. NASA is hoping their lunar reconaissance proble will be able to provide closer photos on its next orbit.

*The Apollo 11 astronauts held a banquet last weekend to celebrate their lunar landing's anniversary, in which Neil Armstrong delivered a challenge that focus should be placed on landing a man on Mars.

And that's the news. Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.

40 Years Later

ken_redtail — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:57:31 GMT

Happy Fourth of July

ken_redtail — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 02:01:04 GMT

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

It's Super Obama!

ken_redtail — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 14:43:02 GMT

ken_redtail — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 03:59:21 GMT

I just found out a really great person died. I'd been pretty close to her for a while, but we had some pretty severe disagreements and the last time we spoke was in negativity.

Now I'll never have the chance to tell her I'm sorry or make things right.

Don't let this happen to you. Grudges are silly and petty and terrible things to just let go unresolved.

Because one day, you may never get a chance to.

ken_redtail — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 06:12:52 GMT

*Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Penguins as they wrap up an amazing season by bring home Lord Stanley's Cup!

*Real Madrid will pay a record $131 million to Manchester United for the right to negotiate a deal for football superstar Cristiano Ronaldo. Meanwhile, David Beckham sits at home and weeps his way into obscurity.

*Congress approved another $106 billion towards the war in Iraq while the Senate passed legislation to put tobacco under FDA regulation.

*Friday was the last day before television switched from broadcast to digital. Make sure you're up to date or you can't watch your stories!

*Rapper Kanye West gave a free concert for Chicago public school students this week. Tickets were awarded to high schoolers who improved their grades, attendance and overall performance.

And that's the news, broadcasting in all digital from now on!

And Now The News

ken_redtail — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:39:58 GMT

*Chastity Bono, daughter of Sonny and Cher, has announced she will be undergoing surgery to become a man.

*An Ohio man has been sentenced to 9 years in prison for stealing underwear from over 20 women.

*Two Indiana men have declared June 15th to be National Man Day. Man Day organizers urge participants to take part in "manly" activities such as football, hunting or watching Rocky movies.

*A Connecticut woman attempted to stall police from arresting her by claiming her house was quarantined for swine flu.

*David Letterman made an on-air apology Wednesday for a joke about Sarah Palin that had been misconstrued as a comment about her 14 year old having promiscuous sex instead of her older daughter Bristol whom the joke had intended to be directed at. The comedian took a serious moment to stress he would never joke about an issue like underage sex and offered the Palins a sincere apology and an offer to come on the show. The family declined and Dave was back at ribbing them the next day, albeit more mindful to his subject matter.

*On Wednesday, at 5:22 Central time, the Global Language Monitor estimated that Web 2.0 became the 1 millionth word in the English language, arriving just behind slumdog, noob and jai ho! Number one million and one was "financial tsunami."

*An Israeli woman says she mistakenly threw out a mattress that had over $1 million in it and has been unable to track it down.

And that's the News 2.0 which is like word one million and forty by now.

MyBrute

ken_redtail — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 11:08:22 GMT

Have you taken me on YET?
http://redodd.mybrute.com

Clan signups are NOW available.
http://mybrute.com/team/45628
Swear loyalty to me and the Legions of Gallifrey!

And Now The News!

ken_redtail — Sat, 30 May 2009 20:32:22 GMT

*An Oregon man spent his Memorial Day in prison when local sheriffs arrested him for improper use of an emergency number when he called 911 to report that McDonalds wouldn't give him his orange juice.

*A Pennsylvania senator's aide is charged with pedophilia after the 40 year old man solicited a 15 year old boy to wear an animal suit to engage in sexual activities.

*A 13 year old Kansas girl is the winner of the National Spelling Bee, winning over 293 other youngsters with the word Laodicean, an adjective that means indifferent to religion or politics.

*A Virginia man has been arrested for robbing a bank earlier this year after bragging about it on MySpace attracted the police.

*A 42 year old Tennessee man wearing only a woman's thong was caught and charged with burglary.

That's the news... Too weird for me. You have a nice weekend.

ken_redtail — Mon, 25 May 2009 08:51:21 GMT

REMEMBER.

ken_redtail — Sat, 23 May 2009 13:31:06 GMT

*The Illinois Senate is pushing legislation prohibiting former Governor Blagojevich from making money off his scandal.

*May 5th saw a secret gathering of some of the richest Americans to discuss philanthropy. Details from the New York Times reveals attendees to include Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Oprah, George Soros, Eli Broad, David Rockefeller and Ted Turner.

*The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee is offering a contest for those who donate with the grand prize being dinner and a photo with President Obama.

*President Obama outlined some of the fates of soon to be ex Guantanamo detainees. 21 will be released, with about 50 more slated for possible release. Others will be put on trial in military or civil courts. The rest will continue to remain incarcerated indefinitely in accordance to the Bush-era policies.

*A 3 year old New Zealand girl figured out how to buy a $12,300 bulldozer via online auction while her mother was taking a nap.

*Tony Gwynn, Jr, will be trying to fill his Hall of Fame dad's shoes after being traded to the Padres, where Sr played.

*A Utah boy is going for the world record by putting 43 live snails on his face.

*A Grand Rapids area man accidentally lit over an acre of wooded area on fire while trying to burn an anthill.

And that's the news, here indefinitely without a charge.

ken_redtail — Wed, 20 May 2009 19:12:16 GMT

Supposedly, there's even a free faction-specific pet when you sign up, redeemable after May 29th. They'll send you the code via email.

And Now The News

ken_redtail — Fri, 15 May 2009 14:27:20 GMT

*The Obama administration announced that military trials of Guantanamo detainees would be reviewed to expand defendants' rights, but due process would continue to not be granted them.

*Chrysler has announced 789 dealers would shut down nationwide, leaving thousands jobless. Meanwhile GM is expected to close down over 1000 while also reducing hourly labor costs and health care benefits in a deal with the UAW.

*New series of air and ground strikes have been ordered in Afghanistan by the Obama administration as the House voted 368-60 for $97 billion more to spend on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

.... bah... you know what? The news is depressing today.

Have a chimpanzee riding on a Segway.

And now your weekend news!

ken_redtail — Sun, 10 May 2009 02:12:59 GMT

*The Obama administration let stand a Bush-era policy barring the government from using the Endangered Species Act as a tool to regulate greenhouse gas emissions. This means that the plight of the polar bear cannot be an excuse to crack down on global warming.

*Emily is no longer the queen. After being the most popular girls name for the past 12 years, the name Emily was replaced by Emma as the top name for girls born in 2008 while Jacob remained the most popular name for boys for the 10th straight year. Newcomers this year in the top 1000 were Isla, Mareli and Milagros for girls and Aaden, Chace and Marley for boys. Meanwhile Elvis slid 40 spots down while Barack jumped up 10,126 places to 2,409.

*The Statue of Liberty's crown will reopen on July 4th after being closed since 9/11.

*Accused murder suspect Drew Peterson has been indicted for the murder of his ex wife and reported to prison where he bragged to the media about his new spiffy clothes and his three hot square meals a day.

*Pope Benedict XVI began his first tour of the Middle East as pontiff on Friday.

*Comedian and late night talk show host Jimmy Fallon received his bachelors in communication this weekend, 15 years after dropping out of school to pursue a career as a comedian.

And that's the news, brought to you by Chace. If you know him, I'd like to meet him.

And Now The News

ken_redtail — Fri, 08 May 2009 05:56:57 GMT

*Video game development studio 3D Realms has closed their doors, finally putting out of its misery the long awaited Duke Nukem Forever game.

*A burglar broke into a New Jersey home and made off with $500 in cash, but not before taking a moment to shave using the resident's razor and helping himself to some Lifesavers.

*The New York town of Canastota is under siege by a 3 year old kangaroo named Bandit who escaped from his owner's pen early this week and still remains at large.

*A 21 year old Anchorage woman was arrested after she plowed her pickup through the gates of a golf course and drove onto the course.

*A Massachusetts man broke the glass door of a local gas station, stole cartons of cigarettes and made off from the scene, only to be caught when he took himself to the ER for cuts he suffered from the broken glass.

*President Obama's deceased mother has been confirmed posthumously baptized by a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Members of the church, popularly known as Mormons, believe that previous generations have the opportunity to accept the Gospel through baptism. The White House had no comment on the issue.

*Google's world headquarters, aka the Googleplex, had an interesting lawn service last week when they brought in 200 goats to chow down a field of 4 foot tall fire ready brush, a chore that took a couple days. Naturally, PETA was on the scene with questions about how they were trucked to the Plex, if they were sheltered from the rain and if they were given plenty of water to wash down all that underbrush. Google replied that since the goats were nonemployees but contractors, they were not entitled to perks such as smoothie bars, massages and treadmill-equipped computer stations. However they were entitled to a free organic lunch.

And that's the news. Long live the Duke and hail to the king, baby!

And Now The News

ken_redtail — Mon, 04 May 2009 11:31:20 GMT

*Octomom is back in the news if she ever left when police and child welfare officials showed up at her home after her 4 year old autistic son showed up at school with a black eye and bite marks. It is not clear if any action is to be taken, the family attorney claims the shiner likely came from a fall or bumping into something.

*The Nightmare on Elm Street remake is scheduled to begin shooting this week in Chicago.

*Police in northwestern Pennsylvania report that a burglar broke the front window of a house, bypassed the television, stereo and jewelry and made off instead with a bag of jelly beans on the front table. Nothing else in the house was stolen or even moved.

*The Virgin Mary has been spotted on a dirty griddle at a restaurant in Calexico, California.

*A Reading, Ohio restaurant owner has been ordered to get a permit for a sexily dressed mannequin that he keeps displayed in front of his store as city rules consider it a sign.

*Customs officers in Rome on Thursday arrested a 76-year-old Dutch man who tried to smuggle in more than 13 pounds (six kilograms) of cocaine packed into oranges that had been emptied of their pulp.

*Hand sanitizers are experiencing record sales this week as the world remains paralyzed in fear of the seventh flu outbreak of the past 100 years. 900 cases have been reported so far worldwide.

And that's the news. Stay healthy.

And Now The News

ken_redtail — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 13:21:24 GMT

* Panama City Beach, FL authorities said a motel guest tried to scare off deputies with a medieval battle ax, a knife and a long sword. The Bay County Sheriff's Office reported that deputies responded to the Sting Ray Motel Tuesday morning after management called 911 to complain that a guest was acting strange. When a deputy stepped out of his patrol car, officials said a 33-year-old man threw a battle ax and then a 6-inch knife through the window of the motel room. Deputies said the man then pulled out a broad sword and locked himself in the bathroom. When deputies finally got into the bathroom, they said he was unconscious. The man was taken to a nearby hospital.

*The metal underwire in a Detroit woman's bra was credited with deflecting a bullet fired at her during a break-in at a neighbor's home.

State police said a 23-year-old man clocked driving at more than 130 mph on an upstate New York road is facing multiple traffic charges. Police said a trooper spotted Michael DiBernardino's 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer doing 134 mph in a 55-mph zone Tuesday afternoon in the Dutchess County town of Pawling, near the Connecticut border 65 miles north of New York City.

*A new species of tyrannosaur has been discovered that links Tyrannosaurus rex to some of its smaller ancestors.

*President Obama has announced that he will be appointing an independent commission to investigate officials from the Bush administration who authorized torture methods. This announcement came a few days after an announcement that no such investigation would take place caused some unrest in the liberal camps.

*A Fort Smith, Arkansas man was digging in his garden this week when he discovered a live Civil War-era 4 lb cannonball buried there. Authorities will attempt to disarm it before donating whatever remains to a local preservation society.

Ok, that's the news, remind you to never try to build sand castles using kitty litter.

And Now The News

ken_redtail — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 13:48:09 GMT

*At long last, after months of rumors and speculations, the Obamas revealed their 6 month old Portuguese Water Dog named Bo.

*A 13 year old Wyoming girl ran up nearly $5000 in cell phone bills, after sending over 20,000 text messages in one month. Her father took a hammer to the phone. Verizon officials have stated that they are willing to work with the family to handle the bill.

*A 20 ft whale was spotted in the Hudson River on Thursday. Observers seem to think it was possibly a humpback whale.

*The Colorado DMV denied a woman the license plate ILVTOFU, stating that it could be misread as something TOTALLY different and X-rated, which is probably the first time tofu has ever been deemed too sexy for anything.

*A Harvard graduate has invented inhalable chocolate due to debut at next month's All Candy Expo in Chicago next month.

*The Chicago suburb of Mettawa's village presidential election will be decided by the flip of a coin after voting ended in a tie.

*A Minnesota man was charged with a felony after prosecutors alleged he tried to impress a woman by firing arrows at his neighbors' homes with a powerful bow. Police found arrows in the siding of townhomes in the man's complex on Saturday. Another arrow went through a patio door, shattering the glass.The charges allege the 30-year-old man was "extremely intoxicated" when questioned by police. So was his female friend.

*A Massachusetts liquor store is offering home delivery for its goods, knowing that due to the economy, people don't want to go out as much anymore. That and due to the economy, people are looking for more booze, I guess.

*A Pontiac, MI judge referred a case of a divorced couple feuding over dog sperm to civil court. The couple bred bull mastiffs and had some puppy batter frozen and stored and now become a point of contention.

*The furry fandom is starting off its fursuit tournament with an exhibition match that was won by a Sarah Palin performer, marking the first time ever that Sarah Palin has gotten so much love from members of the fandom or anywhere else for that matter.

And that's the news, which LVTOFU and I don't mean tofu either! :3

Happy Easter, everyone!

And Now The News

ken_redtail — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 11:09:56 GMT

*An Arkansas woman was arrested this week when she started a brawl in a funeral home when she showed up at a wake drunk and with a can of beer in her hand.

*A Chilton, WI man faces an arson charge after telling authorities he wasn't thinking when he decided to use gasoline for cleaning up his apartment, and then tossed a lit cigarette into a pile of gas-soaked cushions and clothes.

*An Oreo cookie-sponsored poll has declared that the scene where Harry Potter discovers the train in the first movie is the GREATEST SCENE IN CINEMATIC HISTORY.

*A Fort Worth, TX area woman called 911 Tuesday to complain that her fried rice didn't have enough shrimp in it.

*Authorities said a man claiming to be an illegal immigrant ran naked down a Port St. Lucie, Florida street so that he would be sent back to Mexico. Police responded to a home Saturday night where they found the 28-year-old man arguing with his boyfriend. Officers told the man, who appeared to be intoxicated, that he should go home for the evening, but he told them he wanted to go to jail because he was an illegal immigrant and wanted to go back to Mexico. He then said he planned to punch an officer to get arrested but decided not to after police told him it wouldn't be in his best interest to do that. That's when the man took off his clothes and ran down the street. He was charged with indecent exposure and being held for immigration officials.

*Walgreens has announced they'll no longer being selling Chia Obama heads at their stores, commenting that they were "offensive." The Chia company replied that they had no issues with the planter, finding it "patriotic." Because a giant green afro is patriotic, folks.

*ThinkGeek has replied to an overwhelming demand to produce their April Fools gag of a Tauntaun sleeping bag by announcing that they are in talks with Lucasfilm to actually make this product.

*CBS has announced that it is ending the longest running drama in television history, "Guiding Light," a soap opera first broadcast in 1937. Over its 72 year run, the Emmy-winning show has led the standard for soap operas with at least a murder a year, 13 characters who've come back from the dead, 12 long lost children returning, 1 cross dressing serial killer, 9 weddings for Reva (3 times to Josh), a clone, 7 miraculous paralysis recoveries, 13 characters who've fallen, drove or been pushed off cliffs or bridges and the only transsexual animal on daytime TV.

And that's the news. Don't forget to vote for the Doctors in the tourney! http://community.livejournal.com/fursuittourney/44540.html

ken_redtail — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 23:25:48 GMT

The fursuit tourney is having an exhibition battle royale for the cosplayers, just for fun.

http://community.livejournal.com/fursuittourney/44540.html

Vote often.

And Now The News

ken_redtail — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 06:19:33 GMT

*President Obama met with the Queen of England today, presenting her with her own personalized iPod. "God Save The Queen" by the Sex Pistols was not on the playlist.

*Obama's Kenyan aunt has at least a year left in America before facing deportation back to Kenya, a Boston immigration court ruled this week.

*A Chicago-area Dunkin Donuts was closed as the chain pulled the Muslim owner's franchise rights due to his refusal to serve breakfast sandwiches that contained pork products. DD had accommodated his religious beliefs since 1984 until 5 years ago when they refused to renew his franchise agreement if he did not sell the complete product line. The owner retains his lease on the property and ownership of the company and plans to open his own little independent establishment.

*A Cincinnati chain of Domino's Pizzas gave out over 11,000 free pizzas in one night when someone found an unused online ad campaign for a free medium pizza and forwarded it to all his friends.

*An Oregon company has ordered new packaging for its Peace Cereal after a typo on the box sent callers to a phone sex line instead of the cereal maker's 800 number. Instead of reaching Golden Temple of Oregon, callers were greeted by a recorded voice asking, "Do you love sex? ... Isn't that why you called?"

And that's the news that you love... Isn't that why you signed on?