Remember
1. You have the right to not feel okay.
Brown University and the larger Providence community have just experienced a terrible tragedy. It doesn’t matter how close you are to the shooting; knowing that a learning institution was the target of a brutal attack can affect anyone. Don’t apologize or feel guilty for your feelings. Give yourself grace and patience.
2. Trauma affects each person differently.
The healing process isn’t linear; what you go through immediately and in the days, weeks, and months afterward may differ from others, and that’s okay. It can impact you in unexpected ways. For me, after the UNLV tragedy, I felt numb and desensitized to everything, and the events of December 6, 2023, didn’t fully hit me until much later. Understanding trauma helped me become more aware of and empathetic toward others’ experiences.
3. Engage in healthy self-care.
After the mass shooting at UNLV, I slowly started to rely on drugs and alcohol to get through it, but I realized I was using them more as a crutch. Now, with a healthier mindset, I’ve begun to adopt much more helpful coping strategies. Whether it’s celebrating small victories like getting out of bed and taking a shower, enjoying a comfort show, or playing video games, make sure to take time for YOURSELF. YOU come first.
4. It gets better with time.
A part of me internally groans at saying this because it sounds clichéd as hell, but it’s true. You will experience pain, and that will always linger in the back of your mind, but it doesn’t define you. As the great Jean Paul Sartre said, “Life begins on the other side of despair.” By acting with courage and resilience, I have faith you will come through the other side intact.
5. Don’t hesitate to rely on others.
Even with all the progress I’ve made in managing my anxiety, I still sometimes feel like I’m a burden or that I “bother” people when I talk about my mental health. Especially when violence hits so close to home, chances are you are not alone in how you feel. People understand more than you realize, and it’s OK to be vulnerable and open up from time to time.
6. Find outlets that work for you.
Having creative outlets you can turn to makes all the difference. For me, it was photography, music, and writing. I would often roam around Fremont Street with my Nikon camera, taking photos of whoever and whatever caught my eye, not worrying about capturing the “perfect” shot. I also revisited many of the bands I first got into as a teenager, like Lamb of God, Mastodon, and Eyehategod. These bands were vital for me while I was healing from the aftermath of the UNLV shooting. Even though I have multiple degrees in English, teach writing, and have published work, my impostor syndrome likes to say, “Kelly, you’re not a writer!” I’ve learned, however, that I DO have a perspective and ideas that matter and are worth sharing, and the same goes for you.
R.I.P. Ella Cook and Mukhammad Aziz Umurzkov
If you are so inclined, please feel free to donate to the GoFundMe that Mukhammad’s family created to help with expenses at this link.
Also, here are a few gun violence prevention organization resources to check out as well: