Home Again
Special Note: I tried to post this last night and the Internet was not cooperating and I was too tired and hurt too much to go down to the basement and try to fix the connection…
Ahhhhhhh... Home again.
You know the feeling, right? You cry when you have to leave and you in many ways aren’t ready but oh oh oh it is so nice to be home.
I miss my new DSP family terribly already and who knows when I will see them again? But I am with Raymond, my love, and my sweet little Sarah Jane!
So somehow, even though it was around 2:00 AM before I got to bed last night, I got up at seven am Monday morning and headed into the city. Now figuring it out, and also knowing who to ask, I got to 34th street pretty damned fast, even with Monday morning rush-hour traffic. Came up out of the subway, looked one way, looked the other...
and
oh
my
gosh
The Empire State Building...
There really are no words.
I did it all. Spent the works and got the map and the audio thingie and went to the 80th, 86th and 102nd floors. I am so glad I did.
My fear of falling hit good on the observation deck. There were times I was okay and times I had to shut my eyes and clench my teeth. VERY windy and I just couldn’t believe the people sticking their arms through the fencing so they could take better pictures. It was very hard for me to approach the fence. I would freeze now and again and that wasn’t even counting how cold and windy it was up there. It felt like I could fall and that is what does it. At one point the audio tour has you turn around and look up at the tower/antenna and there was no way I was doing that. I knew I would fall down. I had to sit on the ground and look up and even sitting my weird reverse vertigo HIT me like a house a blazing. It felt like I was falling up. And this guard starts insisting I stand up and I was trying to tell him I couldn’t get up and he wasn’t listening. I finally sorta leaned squatted and he let me alone.
I wanted to stick my arms through to get better pictures but it was so windy and what if I dropped my camera???
The 102nd floor though is very different and very sealed in and small and tight and I felt very secure and not at all afraid and was able to really look.
I think I took a billion pictures. Gorgeous. So unbelievable it doesn’t even seem real. Unreal. Surreal.
I really took my time too.
Then I came down and had a big lunch in one of the restaurants that is a part of the building. I also got my mailing tube for the gorgeous print Paul Richmond gave me. Have I talked about meeting Paul? What a sweet wonderful man. We even got to celebrate his birthday. On the 1 to a 100 scale of straight-acting with 100 meaning a gay man could pass and fool everyone, Paul is about a negative 75. LOL! And I just loved him. What a sweet man!
After lunch I realized I had a few hours and so keeping in mind where I needed to be and trying not to get lost, I wandered around and fell in love with NYC. Last night I was so tired and cranky when I got back to the hotel, and not a little bit scared about wrong buses and such, I almost didn’t go into the city. I was thinking, Nope. I guess I am not going to be one of those "I <3 New York people" after all and felt sad about it.</i>
But after today?
I <3 New York!
I don’t know that I could live there, but what a powerful gigantic astounding astonishing remarkable amazing magick city! It really is like some giant rumbling beast. A gigantic whale of a hive mind being. Alive!
I took hundreds of pictures.
And I found the New York Public Library and investigated it as well. There was a Shelly exhibit as well, including original hand-written poems and such. Awesome. Simply awesome.
Did I mention that the other day Matt and I went to Rockefeller Center? GORGEOUS! And I got Raymond a Dr. Who shirt at the NBC Store. There were about six to choose from and the one I got him said “You Never Forget Your First Doctor.” That was the one! Because Raymond’s favorite Dr is the first one. And I mean the REAL first one. The one from several decades ago.
I made it back to the hotel in time for a trip to the airport where I wound up having to take a shuttle to another terminal but I got there on time and aboard on time and we pulled out on time and then sat for I don’t know how long when LaGuardia suddenly decides (you could hear that the pilot was frustrated as we were when he spoke to us) to put 22 planes ahead of us. TWENTY-TWO! We would have been in KC 20 minutes early and got there nearly an hour late.
But it was okay and Raymond was there and Sarah licked off nine layers of skin from my face and we ate a Minsky’s Pizza (the best pizza I have ever ever ever ever had) and got home and I am writing this and trying not to fall asleep.
I did on the airplane and the awful tight upright seats mean I started snoring loud every time I drifted off and woke myself up! It was humiliating and embarrassing.
But if that is the worst thing that happened, then all is well.
I have a publisher willing to look at four novels from me! She trusts me.
She is my friend.
I got to crying as I left everyone this morning.
But oh what a day.
And now?
Time for bed.
So tired and stiff and sore.
But what a trip.
I will never forget it.
This was a very big deal weekend.
If I can make it there I’ll make it anywhere
It’s up to ME New York New York!
Namasté and goodnight,
Ben
Ahhhhhhh... Home again.
You know the feeling, right? You cry when you have to leave and you in many ways aren’t ready but oh oh oh it is so nice to be home.
I miss my new DSP family terribly already and who knows when I will see them again? But I am with Raymond, my love, and my sweet little Sarah Jane!
So somehow, even though it was around 2:00 AM before I got to bed last night, I got up at seven am Monday morning and headed into the city. Now figuring it out, and also knowing who to ask, I got to 34th street pretty damned fast, even with Monday morning rush-hour traffic. Came up out of the subway, looked one way, looked the other...
and
oh
my
gosh
The Empire State Building...
There really are no words.
I did it all. Spent the works and got the map and the audio thingie and went to the 80th, 86th and 102nd floors. I am so glad I did.
My fear of falling hit good on the observation deck. There were times I was okay and times I had to shut my eyes and clench my teeth. VERY windy and I just couldn’t believe the people sticking their arms through the fencing so they could take better pictures. It was very hard for me to approach the fence. I would freeze now and again and that wasn’t even counting how cold and windy it was up there. It felt like I could fall and that is what does it. At one point the audio tour has you turn around and look up at the tower/antenna and there was no way I was doing that. I knew I would fall down. I had to sit on the ground and look up and even sitting my weird reverse vertigo HIT me like a house a blazing. It felt like I was falling up. And this guard starts insisting I stand up and I was trying to tell him I couldn’t get up and he wasn’t listening. I finally sorta leaned squatted and he let me alone.
I wanted to stick my arms through to get better pictures but it was so windy and what if I dropped my camera???
The 102nd floor though is very different and very sealed in and small and tight and I felt very secure and not at all afraid and was able to really look.
I think I took a billion pictures. Gorgeous. So unbelievable it doesn’t even seem real. Unreal. Surreal.
I really took my time too.
Then I came down and had a big lunch in one of the restaurants that is a part of the building. I also got my mailing tube for the gorgeous print Paul Richmond gave me. Have I talked about meeting Paul? What a sweet wonderful man. We even got to celebrate his birthday. On the 1 to a 100 scale of straight-acting with 100 meaning a gay man could pass and fool everyone, Paul is about a negative 75. LOL! And I just loved him. What a sweet man!
After lunch I realized I had a few hours and so keeping in mind where I needed to be and trying not to get lost, I wandered around and fell in love with NYC. Last night I was so tired and cranky when I got back to the hotel, and not a little bit scared about wrong buses and such, I almost didn’t go into the city. I was thinking, Nope. I guess I am not going to be one of those "I <3 New York people" after all and felt sad about it.</i>
But after today?
I <3 New York!
I don’t know that I could live there, but what a powerful gigantic astounding astonishing remarkable amazing magick city! It really is like some giant rumbling beast. A gigantic whale of a hive mind being. Alive!
I took hundreds of pictures.
And I found the New York Public Library and investigated it as well. There was a Shelly exhibit as well, including original hand-written poems and such. Awesome. Simply awesome.
Did I mention that the other day Matt and I went to Rockefeller Center? GORGEOUS! And I got Raymond a Dr. Who shirt at the NBC Store. There were about six to choose from and the one I got him said “You Never Forget Your First Doctor.” That was the one! Because Raymond’s favorite Dr is the first one. And I mean the REAL first one. The one from several decades ago.
I made it back to the hotel in time for a trip to the airport where I wound up having to take a shuttle to another terminal but I got there on time and aboard on time and we pulled out on time and then sat for I don’t know how long when LaGuardia suddenly decides (you could hear that the pilot was frustrated as we were when he spoke to us) to put 22 planes ahead of us. TWENTY-TWO! We would have been in KC 20 minutes early and got there nearly an hour late.
But it was okay and Raymond was there and Sarah licked off nine layers of skin from my face and we ate a Minsky’s Pizza (the best pizza I have ever ever ever ever had) and got home and I am writing this and trying not to fall asleep.
I did on the airplane and the awful tight upright seats mean I started snoring loud every time I drifted off and woke myself up! It was humiliating and embarrassing.
But if that is the worst thing that happened, then all is well.
I have a publisher willing to look at four novels from me! She trusts me.
She is my friend.
I got to crying as I left everyone this morning.
But oh what a day.
And now?
Time for bed.
So tired and stiff and sore.
But what a trip.
I will never forget it.
This was a very big deal weekend.
If I can make it there I’ll make it anywhere
It’s up to ME New York New York!
Namasté and goodnight,
Ben