This year i will live.

And then the new symptoms hit.

You never know what life throws at you. You think you’re at a good place, you think you are ready for a change, and then the change that comes is not what you imagined it to be.

Life has a way of surprising us. In both good and bad.

With the new symptoms I also found new supports. I had to fight for it, but I also got lucky. Sometimes the best comes with the worst.

And with that my Substack will also change. The life I decided to live is not possible, but I have found another one. I will build another one.

I will try to reach a more specific reader group and engage more in the Norwegian conversation. The global conversation has enough voices as it is (although some are still missing and others take up way too much space, but I don’t think I can fill those gaps. There are others who speak what I would much better than me). There are, however, not enough voices in Norway, or at least not the ones I would wish to hear, and I believe I can be one of those missing voices. I want to take part in that conversation.

I am done with living in a void, having my projects on hold for a maybe-future. I am done letting my living situation keep me away from what I want to do with my life. So I will begin making those changes for myself now.

Over the years I have started believing more in the small changes than the big ones. The ones that influence your friend, partner, neighbour or coworker. The ones that change a moment in time and have ripples of influence to the next and the next and the next life in ways you had never anticipated. I have started to believe more in the small changes we can’t control instead of the big ones we think we can control. Because truth is, most things in life are out of our control. I will much rather believe in the effects of change I can’t control by adding my ripples into the water, than waiting for the moment I can create a controlled change. I will add my voice into the gaps and observe the ripples spread out.

I will find the gaps in the struggles. I will find the words around the gaps. I will find the missing voices, the stepping stones on through and build the road I want to go. I will bridge the gaps word by word. And this will be my first gathering of gaps between the words.

A little is better than nothing. Imperfect is better than waiting. It’s in the doing we have the process of learning, of growth. It’s in failure we evolve.

All that to say, my content will more often from now on be in Norwegian. And it will be targeted towards a Norwegian audience with a slightly different style.

Miko will make Noises. The dragon will roar. And maybe I will see more of changes I did not expect. The good and the bad. The varied and diverse. The process of what is, what lives in the gaps between the words.

I still hope to see you around if you want to

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It took me a while to get here. But this year I will live.