whew y’all, every time i go to write about myself this is what it becomes. i wish i could write silly little stories, i do. it’d be so fun. my novel gets cast aside so often for these declarations and yearnings. this time i kept seeing things from the Rads about the idea that people are too attached to comfort for revolution, and i’m like…who exactly is comfortable?? Besides those morally corrupt individuals benefitting so much so from wealth inequality and settler-colonial violence, who wouldn’t ever be on the side of liberation regardless…WHOMST in the year of 2024 is really truly comfortable? The il/delusion of comfort is not the same. I believe that real comfort is available to us through revolution. That comfort is a huge part of what we are fighting for.

We’re so steeped in the suffering inflicted upon this planet,

those of us in the belly of the beast, swimming in the stomach acid

sometimes soothed by parceled-out air pockets of comfort the very forces responsible for the suffering allow us

breaths of increasingly toxic air as rewards

for sacrifices and offerings to capitalism

[your investments, endorsements, cash payments, labor, time, attention, shucking & jiving]

the “comfort” we currently g(r)asp for under capitalism is balm for the wounds inflicted by capitalism —

the exhaustion with no meaning,

the psychological warfare required to maintain de-valuation of life and wellbeing,

the isolation,

deterioration,

the existential dread, grief, and guilt that is knowing

your every sip of polluted water, morsel of synthetic food, and dollar earned or spent is soaked in blood.

We can no longer live off of debt and death.

We are so steeped in the suffering of this planet,

that we have been conditioned to consider the selling of our time, bodies, and souls for basic human needs as blessings

gratitude is myopic and manipulated—

the manufactured scarcity plaguing our neighbors

made into a measure of how well we’re doing,

meant to make us fear a plight worse than we’re experiencing:

i may be homeless, but at least i’m not houseless

i may be hungry, but at least i ate at all today

i may be broke, but at least i have a job

i may fear being killed by a cop, but at least i’m not being bombed

i may be imprisoned, but at least i’m not in solitary confinement

*****gratitude***** replaces rage on their behalf and resolve to change our conditions

The revolution will be more comfortable than this

because we’re sacrificing systems that DO NOT GENUINELY BENEFIT ANYONE, even those deluded into believing money is their God and labor their salvation.

That does not mean the condition of comfort or concept of convenience need to be vilified,

and i root this within a disability justice perspective,

as more and more of us become disabled by covid and the various viruses, diseases, and infections we’re more susceptible to in the wake of consistent re-infection,

as more and more of us are left to die from these ailments instead of receiving the rest and care needed to recuperate,

working ourselves beyond our new and changing and not-yet-understood limitations

vilifying comfort and convenience will be to our collective detriment.

comfort is not the enemy! convenience is not the enemy!

imagine the convenience of a community attuned to one another’s needs and working together to provide for each other. a community in constant conversation, where information and education is exchanged freely, rest is taken when needed, crafts are celebrated, illness and injury are accommodated, responsibilities are shared, land is cared for, other-than-human-beings have room to thrive, crime is re-constructed and accounted for collectively.

the revolution will be more comfortable than whatever tf it is we’re living through now.

let’s remain clear on what the enemies are here, for instance exploitation—

of those tasked with the labor of convenience - service workers, delivery drivers, those who collect and prepare our food, craft and wash our clothes, care for our children, elderly, and disabled

the disregarded autonomy of those children, elderly, and disabled—those of us who may require convenience more directly than those who live with the delusion of self-sustainablity (see: the constant labor provided above)

the destruction of the land blown up, the trees cut down, the species exterminated, the habitats disappeared, to build more and more roadways, stores, condos no one can even afford to drive on, shop or live in.

these are our enemies!

the enemies remain the apathy within individualism, the greed celebrated by capitalists, the commodification of that which holds true inherent value, the forever increasing concentration of wealth in horrid hands,

this stage of capitalism already thrives on your discomfort and dissatisfaction to sell you more nonsense

this stage of capitalism thrives on your exhaustion to sell you colonizer ass vacations

this stage of capitalism thrives on your precarity so you sell yourself

this stage of capitalism thrives on your hopelessness so you feel you have no choice

this stage of capitalism thrives on your self-denial so you ignore your body, your heart, your friends, your needs, your neighbors, your moral compass, simply to get through the day.

comfort is actually our salvation

the feeling of being held, understood, trusted, safe — this is true comfort

the knowing that your wellbeing is tied up in everyone else’s, and that everyone else knows and honor this too — this is true comfort

giving your body the rest that it needs to recover from the horrors you’ve lived through, and having your loved ones support you in this rest — this is true comfort

the belief in your community to consider each of the beings under their care — this is true comfort

time, space, care, and consideration for grief, healing, conflict resolution — this is true comfort

what is liberation if not freedom from the constant discomfort systems of oppression and their actors force upon us all?

as a multiply marginalized person, i imagine the comfort of a full belly and a soft, stable place to lay my head knowing that me & my (global, borders-be-damned) neighbors are safe and loved, the members of my society care for my wellbeing and the homeostasis of the environment we inhabit.

these are not conditions that require violent power structures.

these are actually impossible within violent power structures!

i find this important, because framing the revolution as inherently uncomfortable is not altogether true. it doesn’t have to be.

living in right relationship with earth would be far more comfortable than what we’re experiencing now.

the visions and dreams of an egalitarian, happier world within a healthier, cherished planet are dreams of successful revolution.

I so much want to be a dreamer,

have been giving myself as much time and energy and divestment as I possibly can

to dream up something more beautiful, kind, and comfortable

to experience ease, community care, another way through this life

but if capitalism doesn’t get in the way, it’s ableism, or racism, or misogyny, or imperialism,

altogether demanding—making impossible to avoid—the desperate, critical need for collective revolution and liberation.

In the meantime, as we fight in whatever ways are accessible to us (and don’t get me started on folks with privilege and their contrived lack of capacity) there is so much revolutionary potential in indulging in anti-capitalist comforts:

sitting in the sun, for instance, can bring about an appreciation of the need for accessible outdoor public infrastructure, appreciating the dopamine and joy borne from a free, inexhaustible resource, appreciating how colorism and anti-Blackness may have made an enemy of the experience, appreciating how the thinning of the atmosphere has made it more scorching than when you were a kid, appreciating your melanin for doing its best to protect you, appreciating the difficulty of labor for so many required to be under the sun nonstop all day, appreciating how shitty it is to be holed up in an office under fluorescence all day, appreciating how many different birds pass you by, their different calls and colors, the way they interact with one another, and all of a sudden you’re into BIRD WATCHING and can pass an hour or so in awe of these tiny airborne beings, how witnessing something beautiful is truly enough to make a whole day feel worthwhile.

dancing, alone, outside, with the clouds and the trees and the wind, or with a loved one in the living room rather than reserving this joy for a crowded club or expensive concert. feeling into your body and getting excited about how it moves and flows with sound, this living ART form of being that you always have access to in the most minute of moments.

collecting trash on the beach with your friends, with all the time in the world. music is playing, little crabs float in and out of their little hole homes. waves crest and crash, and sometimes you put the bags down and run into the water to float awhile when you get too warm. you settle on blankets afterwards with lemonade a friend made from their overgrown tree, and there’s extra lemons for everyone to take home.

i invite further imaginings and expansions of anti-capitalist comforts, and i may be back soon with some more. as a sleepy sun child, who just got really into daily dancing, and spent glorious time on a few beaches in Dakar, these felt personal. i’m sure you have two or three of your own that you could mull over or share?

we deserve better than this death cult of a system. :) please mask up with N95s or equivalents, divest where and however you can, push yourself further from the violent conditioning of colonial consumer capitalism, and imagine more often of what we’re moving towards in our liberation movements.

with care & in solidarity,

kay