The Book of Water Moon

katzedecimal @ 2012-09-21T12:25:00

2012-09-21T18:26:40Z

This is the third time that someone's mistaken me for a trans-woman.

I'm cis-female.

I really don't know how I should feel about this.

I know how I do feel; I just don't know how I should feel.

Coupla crappy videos ^_^

2012-06-27T00:35:22Z

Me performing a raqs assaya, literally "cane dance," at the June 2012 hafla on the weekend. This raqs assaya is my own choreography.

The first video is pretty crappy, I know.

This video was taken by one of my bellydance students - yep, I'm teaching now! (I'm also happy to consider her a friend ^__^ )

My muse is back and there's gonna be trouble

2012-04-03T01:07:36Z

Or something. Well no, not really.

Thanks to Jochan, I got an account on AO3. I intend to move most of my fic onto it, but right now I'm posting my new Sherlock (BBC) fics and the ficlets I've been writing for The New Pub.

My AO3 account is here.

Guess who has two thumbs and superpowers? =D

2012-02-14T16:32:16Z

I've had my hearing tested many times during my childhood and teen years, due to problems making out what people are saying. The last time was 20 years ago. They were never able to find anything and always concluded that my hearing was actually very sharp, so I never bothered about it again. However, having determined that my issues are likely neurological, my doctor and I were concerned about that possibly masking hearing issues originating in the ears as I get older (I'm middle aged now), so we booked an appointment with an audiologist in order to establish a baseline. This proved to be fun and informative and quite startling.

I told the audiologist why I wanted the tests and she got very interested. She's tested kids before and of course, kids grow up to become adults and eventually seniors, so the idea struck her as very good and something to keep as a standard practice for spectrum adults entering middle age. But it turns out she has a bunch of tests that were developed for the spectrum that go far beyond the tests of 20 years ago. For one thing, they go outside the range of typical human hearing.

I have super-hearing.

I react to tones just slightly outside the range of typical, on the low side, and a fair bit outside on the high side. She even tested me using the tones, overtone frequencies and volumes of typical fluorescent light ballasts and those awful high-intensity metal-halide lights - it's not my imagination, I really am registering them. At the very limits of my range, I don't so much hear the tones as feel the tones, but I'm registering and reacting to them nevertheless. And the limits of my range are outside the limits of the typical human range. This explains why, although I don't hear dog whistles, I know when they're being blown. It also explains why I can hear a freon leak plain as day while everyone around me is going "huh? I don't hear anything."

She was also able to induce my "I can't make out the words" issue by playing a few tone sets while speaking (they didn't do that 20 years ago!) By measuring the reactions of my ears, she could determine that yes, my ears are functioning fine and hearing the sounds just great, it is most likely my brain is having trouble detangling the sounds and decoding them into understandable language.

I don't think you're supposed to have fun at a medical exam but nevertheless, that's what it was :3 I already get super-speed when deeply hyperfocused, now I have super-hearing as well! Woot!

...okay, guys, name and costume, name and costume

Writer's Block: Santa Claus is coming to town

2011-12-24T19:33:14Z

Ooog. Would have been somewhere around 8 or 9 years old. I was old enough to understand physics plus see through the various flaws in the "Santa" disguises. The realization came at a really baaaaad time in my life and its effect was... not good. I realized the adults were lying to me. It made me wonder what else they were lying to me about.

As it turned out, quite a lot :-[

This is bang on

2011-12-23T02:20:19Z

This this this this THIS!

People don't understand why I do the things that I do and I don't understand what's so wrong about them. Now I hang out with people who do understand and I'm sooooooooooooooooooo much happier ^___^

Fic meme fill

2011-12-22T03:02:24Z

For Runenklinge, who requested "How the Piper Stole Christmas"

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except for a ...rat.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
And the grandfather clock was locked tight on the stair.

When up on the roof there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter
Away to the parlour I ran like the Flash
Surely giving my feet a carpet burn rash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Through the window gave all a silvery glow
When what to my challenging eyes should appear
But a dark silhouette and eight.. rather large rats.

He was outfitted in green from his head to his foot
And his jumpsuit was grey as ashes and soot
A couple of flutes he had slung on his back
He looked like a thief, but for toys in his pack.

"What are you doing here?" I snarled at the crook
Who laughed and withdrew from his cloak a notebook.
"I'm here to see Bruce," he replied with a grin,
"I think he should see all the trouble he's in.

"A Foundation accountant, an employee at Wayne,
Has been taking from charity for his own gain.
For years he's embezzelled and hidden the funds
Where the auditors' investigations don't run.

From widows and children and elderly folk,
From veterans, victims - he thinks it's a joke.
Five hundred thousand dollars he took
And yet people still dare to call me a crook."

I looked through the evidence, damning it was
Which surely would bring in the federal fuzz
On Lucien, on Bruce, the mud it would splash
The whole Wayne Foundation could come down with a crash!

When in through the door walked my own Master Bruce
Who glanced at the man with an aura of truce
"I see," he sighed as he flipped through the pages,
"Here's someone who wasn't content with his wages.

"I try to pay fairly, I try to be just
And then someone goes and abuses my trust.
Thanks for this info, you've just saved my head
And saved Wayne Foundation from loathing and dread."

"When you recover the money, please open a fund
For the purchase of buildings and homes moribund.
Restore them and charge for them minimal rent
So people can have homes and not shelters or tents."

Said the man dressed in grey as he gathered his rats.
And Master Bruce nodded, "I'll do just that."
Then the intruder turned and his flutes gave a clang
And giving a nod, out the window he sprang!

"You're letting him go? But is he not a Rogue?"
I asked as the figure disappeared in the snow.
"Not since he reformed, he's a friend of the Flash
And likely to fight at my side in a clash."

I looked at Bruce sceptically, "And what of the toys?"
"He gives them to homeless girls and boys.
He's a villain to those whose own morals are tainted
But to the folk of the streets, the Pied Piper is sainted."

Holiday meme

2011-12-14T14:18:02Z

Gacked from Joasakura

In comments, tell me about a story I’ve never written, and I’ll write a few sentences from it!

Writer's Block: BFF

2011-09-25T14:56:00Z

Writer's Block: BFF

2011-09-25T14:55:31Z

How long have my best friend and I been besties? Mmm, about thirty years now, I think. Going to visit her next month

Hello, middle age!

2011-09-16T23:06:26Z

Soooooo... Guess who's got bifocals? They were still 'optional' at this point but recommended, and I figured jump in now while the diopter differences are still small, so they'll be easier to get used to. I chose progressive lenses (no lines) The frames I chose come with a magnetic sunglass clip as well, so FINALLY some sun protection :-P

These things are great!! My astigmatism prescription only changed a little, so the new prescription just makes things sharper. But I can read fine print again! Woot! And the transition is nothing, I barely notice it.

But still, bifocals... And my new job does require a 1-hour commute through country roads plus I'm going away on holidays next month. Sooooo.... I knuckled under, joined the Century of the Anchovy, and bought a smartphone. A Nexus S, to be precise. I may well regret this.

Yes, the Mary-Sue Workplace

2011-05-12T01:13:52Z

Been a while since my last update. I've been busy with work, health and dance.

I passed three months at my new job aaaaaand couldn't be happier. This one's a sweet, juicy peach right to the core. I canNOT beLIEVE my luck on this one. My boss figured out my strengths pretty quickly and has been putting them to use, including assigning me to figuring out how to translate dry investment figures into visual forms (diagrams, charts, graphics) that Joe Average non-invester can understand. To do this, I've been playing with VUE, MS Visio, drawing tools in MS Word, and treemap functions. And I'm getting paid to do this! :3

I have very quickly become indispensible around there, particularly to my department. I'm also amazed at how well I fit in with my immediate co-workers. My officemate is as quiet and work-focused as I am, my boss is too busy to want a best friend, and everyone around me likes classical music and jazz too. My phone is dead quiet and I work uninterrupted, so I can really focus and get things done. I don't think I've ever been happier at a job.

I'm dancing again, although I hit a snag. I gained twelve pounds (I'm now at an appropriate weight and look healthy instead of gaunt and underweight :-P ) so I no longer fit my costumes. Soooo after the debt accumulated during my unemployment is paid down, I will be looking at purchasing a new costume. Meanwhile, it cuts into the number of performances I can do for troupe, unless it's a number in our Sharifwear.

But I did get to perform on the weekend! I was a handmaiden during our number at the "One: Celebration of World Dance" show, and wore a beledi dress on loan from teacher. I didn't *dance* much, per se - mostly my role was confined to standing in place and doing shoulder rolls and shimmies and dragging small children out of the way of the harem boys.

Yes, we had harem boys, a couple of buff young men on loan from the hip-hop troupe, in harem pants and baby oil. They got inspired with their role and brought with them a couple of fake palm-leaf fans from their troupe's prop box, and a silver tray and some grapes. Welllllllll teacher was so distracted by the nummy harem boys feeding her nummy grapes that she completely missed her cue! *LOL* Good thing she had us handmaidens to lean over and whisper "Uhhhh aren't you supposed to be dancing right now?" *LOL* Oh man that was hysterical. We all knew what had happened and we were all desperately trying not to crack up laughing, so we all had these huge grins (which looked good for the audience.)

And that's the news :-P

katzedecimal @ 2011-03-12T08:16:00

2011-03-12T15:17:31Z

Ayako? Mika? Please be okay T_T

Snakedancing

2011-02-22T06:17:50Z

Feeling more comfortable with it. Up to now, only a few close people have been privy to my experiences adjusting to my diagnosis, but I'm feeling semi-comfortable enough to blog about it now. I've created a separate blog for it, in case it's of use to others on the spectrum. If you're genuinely interested, PM me and I'll give you the URL.

Dammit, life!!!!

2011-02-04T13:35:21Z

So I come home last night and guess who's broken his arm?

It's not easy being green

2011-01-12T02:20:36Z

I is officially a college graduate. I have the mortarboard cap and gown to prove it. They're green ^_^

Never gets old

2010-12-05T17:47:56Z

I've been using Linux Mint since the release of Mint 5 Elyssa and I haven't looked back. Nor has the fun worn off.

Diagnosis confirmed

2010-11-10T19:42:20Z

It's official.

I have Asperger's Syndrome.

All will be well

2010-10-15T21:46:02Z

Got a new job today. Administrative Assistant, but functionally more like Junior Executive Secretary. I start Monday morning.

The orange and the green

2010-10-06T00:48:50Z

Life is looking a whole lot sunnier now that I know what the problem is. Having explanations, concrete, physical reasons why I'm the way that I am makes things a whole lot easier. Easier to accept, easier to forgive, easier to explain, for everyone. Now I can focus on alleviating forty years of guilt and pain.

Where am I now? - in Hod, looking across to Netzach; gathering education as I try to understand my nature. It's been one clarifying bolt from Tiphareth after another, but each one is lancing old, old abcesses and draining them all. Maybe I can finally start to heal.

Happy place

2010-08-26T18:53:26Z

College is more or less finished, apart from graduation and making up the first-aid course that I missed due to placement. There's hardly anybody there right now; a third of the students are out on work placement, three are likewise finished, one dropped out (GUESS who dropped out.) Those who remain are plugging away on their computer courses.

I scored 95% on my Introductory Accounting exam, my second-lowest score but still an A+. I scored very high on all of my courses and will be graduating with several certificates, including my coveted Administrative Assistant for Small Businesses certificate. I should be graduating with an over-all score of A+.

Work-experience placement went very well although it reinforced that a reception desk is not the place for me. Admin assistance is, though, so if I can score a position in the back-office, somewhere I can just focus on my work and not have to deal with a lot of people, that'd be perfect. Fortunately, most women don't like back-office positions as they find them too lonely, and I don't have that problem, I just don't get lonely like that. I like that sort of environment. Sooooo I have an appointment on Tuesday with an agency recruiter to look into positions like that. I also have an interview on Wednesday for a part-time position that's pretty ideal, and will be heading off this afternoon to pick up a letter of recommendation from one of my former bosses.

I've taken the day off today to whip the house into shape in preparation for an out-of-town guest. One of the rat-rescuers has been doing a cross-continent North American tour meeting other rat-rescues and will be coming through Alberta, so we're getting together for a brief visit.

Saturday is "Women Reading Comics In Public" day, so I plan to grab a snap of myself reading Secret Six, Countdown and Starstruck at the yoga studio reception desk XD

Qabala, Feri and Me

2010-08-20T02:09:12Z

Like many, when I was much younger, I found Qabala to be confusing and did not see any practical application. My friend, the late Ellen Reed, made sense of it for me and I studied under her direction for many years. Now I find it very helpful and a valuable part of my life. So, I thought I would offer an example from my own life, of how Qabala and Feri benefit me.

Recently I am undergoing a change that has shaken the very foundation of my being. It shatters everything I have ever believed about myself, everything I have understood myself to be, and both confirms and denies what people have always thought about me. This devastating change has smashed me and swept me away like a tsunami.

I realized that I was on the 25th Path, which runs between Yesod, the sphere of illusion, and Tiphareth, the sphere of truth. The 25th Path is represented in Tarot by the Lightning-Struck Tower. Illusion is smashed by the light of Truth. It is a Dark Night of the Soul.

Tiphareth can be described as 'an empty room.' At the end of the 25th Path lies the truth, but what of it? The truth smashes you and leaves you feeling empty, devastated, alone. What do I do now? But Tiphareth lies at the center of the Tree; there are many places to go, many Paths to take.

In the days that followed that first strike, the word "wisdom" kept appearing to me. Reminding me that Wisdom mirrors Self on the Pentacles. Reminding me that Wisdom, Chokmah, is one of the places to go, from Tiphareth. Reminding me that wisdom can be received. The 15th Path runs between Tiphareth and Chokmah. It too is a Dark Night of the Soul, but where the lower Dark Night paths are dark nights of the emi, this is one of the dark nights of the Ori. The 15th Path is the path of making the hard decisions. How difficult must it have been for my Ori, to decide to give me this information, knowing how it would break me? This is a Path of 'sorry kid, but it's for your own good.'

I understand that. And in so doing, I climbed the 17th Path, the path of trusting your god-self. The 17th Path runs from Tiphareth to Binah, truth to understanding.

Now I know where I'm going; I have my map, I know where I am, and I know where I can go next. I grabbed the reins of the Chariot and drove down the 18th Path of taking control. Then I formulated a plan of action: Pursue a confirmation of diagnosis, join forums, join meet-ups, find others like me. Develop further understanding, get better targetted help. Meanwhile, work on accepting this new identity. It has always been a part of me, it never had a name. Ha Prayer, 'I would know my Self, in all my parts'; Kala, to purge fear - it's only me. Pearl Pentacle, to polish the underlying Iron Self gently and lovingly.

Where am I now? -- On the 19th Path of Strength, using it as a jump bar to hop up into the Abyss and grab at Knowledge, from Da'ath. Running the risk of getting caught in its illusions, of course, since Da'ath is a 'false' Sephira and it's easy to get tangled in its web. But avoiding those traps, Knowledge leads to Understanding. In order to understand my Self in this new identity, I need to know more about my condition. But I need to be strong enough to face this truth about my reality.

This all sounds fanciful, but they are metaphors for very real experiences. In knowing where I was on the Tree, I could predict what I was likely to experience next and have an idea of how to anticipate and prepare. Life experiences don't happen in orderly fashion, so I could be in several places on the Tree at once, but that's okay: Just knowing where I am helps me enormously. I don't have it all together, but I have my map, my Feri tool kit and my candle to light my way through the Dark Nights ahead of me.

Wsfghl?

2010-07-27T23:40:49Z

Been suuuuuuuper busy lately.

Finished the "Intro to Business Accounting" course, a four-month course that took meeeeeee.... three weeks o.O;;; *cough* Yeah kinda surprised myself with that. Honestly though, it wasn't that hard....

But I have since started at my work-experience placement, where I'm covering the front-end reception desk of a corporate-manufacturing office for four weeks, while the receptionist is on vacation.

Yes, me, on front-end reception. Me. The social fuck-up who can't manage to say 'good morning' without pissing somebody off. Who multi-tasks like a 286. Who can get so deeply involved in a task that I can completely miss things like, oh, the phone, the front desk bell, people calling my name that is highly unique and nobody else has so they canNOT be addressing somebody else... Y'know, stuff like that. Reception stuff.

Why was I set up for this? -- Simple: They required someone with advanced computer skills and to be perfectly frank, I'm by far the strongest in the class. The placement should give me some practice with practically everything I've taken at college, including the accounting-basics. I keep telling myself, it's only for four weeks, it's only for four weeks...

So far it's been quiet. They gave me some boxes of files, to transfer into envelopes and then later, rebox, figuring that would keep me busy for a good week or two. .......I finished them today :3 They have Microsoft Visio, though, so I've been playing with that and trying to figure it out (Typical Messysoft, the only company that can turn something so simple as mind-mapping into an exercise in frustration...)

It also involves getting up at 5:30 AM. Whrrrrrrrgh. This 'having a life' thing is tirzzzzzzzzzz.....*

Snap!

2010-07-08T18:49:37Z

"Please help! After two long years of being on a waiting list for an exotic rare breed dog, we were finally notified by the breeder that at long last, our number has come up, and... WE'RE HAVING A PUPPY!

We must IMMEDIATELY get rid of our children now, because we just KNOW how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be! Since our puppy will be arriving on Monday, we MUST place the children in new homes this weekend!!!

They are described as:

One male, white, blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Name is Tommy. Temperament tested. Current on all shots. Tonsils removed already and very healthy condition! Tommy eats everything, is very clean, house trained and gets along well with others. Does not run with scissors and with a little time and training, he will do well in a new home.

One female, strawberry blonde hair, green eyes. Three years old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Her name is Mary. Temperament tested, but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is current on all shots, tonsils out, and is very healthy and happy (mostly.) Gets along well with little boys, but does not like to share toys. She is house trained, and would do best in a one child household.

We really LOVE our children, and want to do what is best for them. I hope you understand, that ours is a UNIQUE situation, and we have a real emergency here! They MUST be placed by Sunday night at the latest."

Edited to add: I did not write this myself, I gacked it from a pet rescue forum. I don't know who the original author is.

katzedecimal @ 2010-07-04T11:38:00

2010-07-04T17:42:48Z

Last night I had a dream about the Behavioural Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds) calling in Patrick Jane (The Mentalist) to help with a serial killer, and they had to enlist the help of Norbert Sykes, aka Badger.

....

My subconscious is weird.