I’m teaching myself to be a go-first person.

It’s hard. I’m a natural back-of-the-line person, politely letting everyone go ahead of me. I love hanging back, reading the room, taking it all in, and then maybe, towards the end, quietly raising my hand.

But lately I know that’s not going to get me where I want to go. Not in this particular season. Not when I’m doing things I’ve never done before, asking myself to grow and stretch and build in ways I never have.

So I’ve made a decision. I unmute right away. I raise my hand. I bring the so-called dumb questions. I show up in the energy of going first, and if I don’t get picked first, that’s okay. I’ve already decided.

Here’s what I’m noticing: my voice is steadier because I’m less nervous. My thoughts are more coherent. I’m less distracted, less in my head about when it’s “appropriately-politely” my turn, because I’ve already answered that question. The answer is always now.

And this morning, someone sent me a message. She’d watched me raise my hand the day before. She let me know how much we had in common and then said this.

“I wanted you to know that you are NOT alone, and I felt so moved by your share!”

I didn’t go first for her. I went first for me. But that’s the thing about a simple one-degree shift, you rarely see the tiny ripple in motion, but it is always creating impact somewhere.

In my ears this week is Ricky Martin, which is making my strength training workouts way more fun and taking me straight back to 2001. That year, Nora lived with us after she and her family had fled the 1999 Kosovo war. She was obsessed with Ricky Martin, which meant I became a raving fan too.

It’s been decades since I’ve deliberately listened to his music. And as I grimace my way through Bulgarian split-squats, singing & dancing between reps, I’m creating a heart connection with an old friend.

One Degree Deeper

Where in your life are you sitting in the back of the room because you’re waiting for the right moment, question, or permission?

What would change if you just decided to go first?

With immense appreciation,