command shift
stuck? let it breathe// work in process.
Do you ever hold onto something you know you should let go of?
I know.
For the past few months, I’ve been trying to fill Desert Flow Camp. From the get-go, interest was sluggish, sign-ups were down. Chalk it up to the government shutdown, economic uncertainty, or the disheartening state of the world, especially on the borderlands—but whatever the reasons, it was starting to feel like rolling a boulder uphill, pushing the river.
The opposite of flow.
Even when all the signs are there, it can be so hard to shift. We command ourselves to keep trying. We can’t quit. Don’t give up. I was raised with these mantras engraved in my mind, and they’ve served me well. Resilience and determination are invaluable character traits. They can help you finish a novel, wrangle small children down wilderness rivers, run 100 miles, stay when the staying feels hard.
But sometimes you have to let go.
Yesterday I got shockwave therapy on my knee, a treatment that sends sound waves into joints to promote healing. It’s like an ultrasound that tingles hurts. I lay on the table as Dennis the PT said, “Tell me when it starts to ache. Tell me before the pain gets to five.” I nodded compliantly, but inside I was wondering, is that a five? Is it a six? Of course I didn’t say anything. I must have been grimacing because Dennis said, “So, do you have a really high pain tolerance?”
Uh, yeah. You could say that.
The next time I spoke up without hesitating. “That’s a four,” I said, and Dennis immediately turned it down. It was so simple! I thought about how easy it is to just lie there, metaphorically speaking, taking it. Gutting it out for a supposed gain. It’s what we’ve been conditioned to do.
Speaking up, saying no, letting go is such a countercultural move.
Last week when I finally decided to put Desert Flow Camp on hold for the winter, I felt such an opening. Something would come in to fill the space, I could sense it. “Let it breathe,” my friend Kelly had suggested. We weren’t just talking about Flow Camp, but the ease that comes when we stop micromanaging our lives and trying to control for perfection. We won’t find it, and instead we’ll miss what we’re meant to discover.
This is flow.
It’s a lifelong assignment. We have to be willing to pivot, to be nimble and open-minded, to embrace uncertainty as possibility. Agility isn’t a just physical trait—it’s a mindset. When the river’s current meets an obstacle, it doesn’t stop. It finds a new way forward. Crooked is the path to flow.
After I decided to let Flow Camp breathe, all sorts of tiny, almost ridiculously inconsequential affirmations showed up: lost earbuds found in the snow; serendipitous phone calls and emails. Other decisions I’d been questioning resolved themselves naturally. I felt lighter, clearer. Was it a coincidence that I also wrote more words in my novel than I had in weeks? My luck was so good, I thought, I should submit a short story or buy a lottery ticket!
It’s not luck, though, it’s practice. As messy, doubtful, and tedious as it can be at times, practice is always part of the process. Sometimes we have to grind before we flow.
I hope this encourages you to release what’s holding you back. If you’re wanting more clarity in 2026, join me in late April for a new opportunity that’s come in to fill the space. I’ll be teaching writing, Zen, and flow at Kelly Burns’s Essencia retreat in the mountains of southern Portugal, April 25-May 2. This is a special opportunity to return to our essential selves through movement, nature, and creative expression; to strip away excess layers, and to reconnect with what truly matters. To let ourselves breathe.
Kelly and I met at a writing retreat on Lake Atitlan in 2023, and she’s been sharing her yoga and healing wisdom with us at Flow Camp since 2024. I’m honored to join her at Essencia this spring. It’s Flow Camp in a different form, and knowing Kelly, I’m positive it will be a profoundly transformative experience—plus a ton of fun.
Space is still available, and doubles start at $2550 for the week. There are 10 miles of gorgeous trails at Wild View Retreat Center and plenty of time and space for walking, running, resting, reflecting, plus a day trip the coast. Kelly is offering a 10% discount if you sign up using code KATIEARNOLDPORTUGAL. Click the links below to learn more, and please don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions!
see you in the flow,
xo katie
