katdelval

Prompt: Write a Valentine’s Day poem of no more than 20 lines about spending a Valentine’s Day all by yourself. The only rules are that it must rhyme and the final line of the poem must include the title of your favorite song.

February fourteenth is just a day
In an ugly month of ugly grey
The one day a year that's all about love
(Unless you count Sweetest Day, but nobody does)
The price of roses skyrockets
The card companies make a fortune
Wake up people!
It's clearly extortion
The pressure is on and you're gonna go broke
If you have a lover
But you'll feel like shit if you don't
Well I don't have a date and I won't get any lovin'
But that doesn't mean I'll stick my head in an oven
Because I have my favorite little guy
My very first choice for a valentine
He's too young to know what today's all about
But his smile warms my heart from the inside out
That boy is my world
He's my only one
So carry on my wayward son

<3

So I did this free-writing exercise from a prompt I found online. The rules were that I had to write without stopping or do any pre-writing beforehand and the piece had to begin with the words "Your mother." This is what I came up with.

Your mother was a tall woman who wore heels despite the fact that she was over six feet tall. She never left the house without pearls, even when she was going to the grocery store. She looked great in yoga pants and she worked hard to. She loved animals, especially small dogs and she usually had at least two of them. She would dress them in little sweaters and give them names like Mitsy or Bootsie-- even if they were boys-- and she took them for walks on rhinestone studded leashes in her high heels. She was very good at walking in heels because she'd worn them since she was eight years old. In middle school she towered over the boys but she was not good at basketball. She enjoyed sparkly, furry things in pastel colors and she wanted a daughter ever since she could remember. She dated lots of boys in high school who were not intimidated by her height because of her feminine sensibilities and they found her softness a welcoming contrast to her Amazonian build. I loved her since we fingerprinted together in kindergarten but she didn't know I was alive until she dropped out of beauty school when she was twenty. That was when she realized her true dream--to design clothing for dogs. You were born when she was twenty-three. She informed me that she had wanted to name her daughter Lucinda since she was four and I had no say in the matter. I secretly hoped you would be a boy but I adored you from the moment I laid eyes on you on you. I sort of got my wish when you turned out to be a tomboy. She would have been proud of you no matter what and maybe even laughed at the irony but I can guarantee that when your back was turned she would have studded your baseball caps with rhinestones. It was just her way.

*****

So here's a question for all my writers out there: do you ever use writing prompts or free-write?

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Hey all (or whoever reads this), it's been a few months since my last entry. In the mean time I have been sort of on a spiritual journey, seeking personal growth. I have definitely had some highs and lows alone the way, but I really feel I am coming around to a good place. I have been reading an incredible book by Beth Moore calle So Long, Insecurity I would recommend it to any woman, of faith or otherwise. I feel secure that I am finally ready to kiss my insecurities goodbye. They have plagued my life for far too long.

I have been immersing myself in writing lately, and it helps me heal like nothing else in this world. I am also gaining a greater appreciation for all of the good things in my life, especially my beloved son. I will no longer allow a few losses (even if they were HUGE losses) to rob me of my joy. Not when I still have so much.

So I just wanted to say that I'm back and I'm better and I love you all, even without knowing who you are.
Much love. <3

So it wasn't until recently that I realized just how broken I am. It's like, when you've had all these past hurts and you think that they have healed, only to discover that it's like a broken bone that did not heal properly, so it's got to be rebroken. I am sick to death of my insecurity. As much as I tell myself that I love myself, I still struggle with self-hate. That's why I don't take care of my body. That's why I find myself drawn to toxic relationships and I stay in them for far too long. And I always think that all of my problems will be solved if I could only love myself, but I think it's more than that. 
  
I married a man that I knew I should not have been with six months after we got together, but I stayed because I couldn't bear the thought of hurting him. I walked down the aisle because there was so much pressure from every angle to do it. A few days before the wedding a friend asked me, "You don't think he's the one, do you?" I denied it vehemently because I was scared to death of admitting such a thing to myself. But then on the day of, as I was holding his hands and looking into his eyes, all I could think was I don't want to do this...That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. 

At least I stopped drinking, and I will never use drugs to get high ever again. I have dealt with a variety of eating disorders, and I still don't have a very healthy relationship with food. Sadly, I think most women in countries where food is plentiful don't. I think I might be unhealthily obsessed with the way that I look. I pride myself on not being a jealous girl, but I actually am. I am haunted by some things. So how do we get over shit completely? How do we grow and heal? I wish there was a secret to being a whole person after you've been broken repeatedly, perhaps something in a bottle.

I think I'm going to seek therapy...

The one thing I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss...

Gah. I can't stop thinking about him. And the harder I try to stop, the more I think about him. Most of all, I think about what he would think about every situation I encounter. I wonder if he's thinking of me. I hope he is, but I tell myself he isn't, and that makes me hope that I'm wrong. I overanalyze every little signal and try to manipulate it in my head to mean that he really does want me. But he doesn't. He acted like he did for a while there, but now he doesn't. And it's whatever. People have every right to change their minds. I just never thought he'd change his. Then again, I never thought my husband would cheat on me, either, but I was wrong about that too. I need to stop never thinking things.

Because what's a better way to spend class time? :P



Ah, the "like and share" captioned photos. The bane of my social networking experience.

 

And if you don't click "like," this puppy will die.



Well, when you put it that way... *scrolls*



So, by not liking and sharing, that means I disagree. Well guess what, captioned photo? You're not the boss of me!!! *scrolls*



Well aren't we the egotistical little baby?


I do it for both reasons.



This is sexist as hell. And coming from a woman. Come on, ladies.



Because every woman is like this? Sounds like an over-generalization to me.



And this is why I hate you. So fucking much.




But... a diamond is a stone...



Gag.


Maybe he's just busy? Maybe he's multitasking and has a lot going on at the moment? Or maybe... yeah you're probably right. He's probably talking to someone far more secure and interesting.



She says while boiling a bunny.



Yes, He did see me read it, and He also know me a hell of a lot better than you do, captioned photo. Maybe 97% of Facebook users won't repost because they aren't gullible enough to believe that refusing to repost this stupid photo will undermine their beliefs or book them a place in hell.



Kept scrolling, but please tell me-- who the hell is Santans?



Oops! You're screwed now, kid!



Have to admit, this is pretty awesome.

The sky is blue again! Thank you GOD!!!

So just because I am in a special kind of mood this morning, here is a list of things that irritate the hell out of me. Feel free to comment with your own :)

-When people say "Be jealous." This seriously makes me want to high-five them in the face. Seriously.
-The old joke that catnip is like marijuana for cats. It's not funny.
-Campaign adds. Is anybody REALLY undecided anymore?
-People incessantly promoting their candidate of choice on facebook.
-When people say really passive-agressive things to try to get compliments or attention.
-Forgetting deadlines. Agh!!!
-When you work with (or for) someone you just love to death and then they leave and the person who replaces them is Satan incogneto.
-My anxiety, especially when I don't have a real reason to be anxious, I just am.
-When people slam doors instead of closing them behind them. Are you seriously that lazy that you can't take a second for such a tiny effort?
-When people try to make a religious or political debate out of every single little thing.
-People who act like their kids are SO special and SO cute and they get mad when you don't stop to tell them just how freaking adorable their dribbling little brat is.
-Sloooooooow Internet connections.
-When your friends or family members get a really, really, bad tattoo (and it's huge) and you want to say "What were you thinking? You're going to have to live with that monstrosity for the rest of your life!" but you keep it to yourself because you don't want to hurt their feelings or create a conflict.
-Buffering.
-When you are reading an article that tells you to follow this totally awesome link so you click on it and get a big

-Internet trolls.
-Those captioned photos that say something along the lines of "I know that 98% of you are horrible human beings and won't repost this but 2% of my true friends will. Remember, God saw you read it! Keep scrolling if you want to go to hell..."
-Mouth sores and swollen papillae.
-That itchy place that you just can't reach.
-People who drive under the speed limit.
-When you say "hi" to someone you went to school with or know from some other thing and they refuse to say "hi" back and just stare at you. And they know who you are!
-That typically, the less intelligent a person is, the more intelligent they THINK they are.
-Spam bots.
-Fuck you very much, Jobs and Family Services--from the bottom of my heart.

Oh writing, my life... my air...

The past few days have just been awful for me. The weather sucks and overcast skies always depress me. But tonight I took to my laptop, turned my music on and started typing. I felt alive again after days of feeling miserable. I think it's interesting how my characters make me grow to love them. For example, the heroine of my current story used to really annoy me, she was merely a means to an end, but the more I put myself into her world to tell her story, the more in love with her I have fallen. I understand her so deeply now because we share much of the same pain, even though our life events are much different. But through my pain I write her and get to know her better. She makes plenty of mistakes but she is so human and my heart just breaks for her... for what I put her through. But hey, I always torture the characters I love the most. 

So my facebook news feed has become overly inundated with these captioned photos. I decided to share some and add my own two cents about them. Enjoy! :)


As opposed to bionic men, who are dedicated until they short circuit and start harming people.


Very true, but you say this like it's a good thing.


No, it is not nice to know that someone is so insecure in your relationship that they can't trust your judgment.


 Said every abused partner ever.


Because I have no life. Or goals. Or imagination.


If that's true, then why are you hugging on your mom in such an intimate way O.o


An ill, indeed.


But then I'll have to stop when I really have to pee.


As opposed to confident guys, who don't give a shit.


Then pick up the damn phone! Sheesh.


Yes, because tolerating your bullshit = troo luv. Didn't you know?


Huh. And I thought some of the dumbest girls I know were total bitches. I stand corrected, I guess.


Then delete them. Really now.


Because I have absolutely no life. At all.


Because starving to death is so romantic.


My feeeeeeeelings!


I am a hopeless romantic at heart, I admit it. :P

Does anybody remeber Xanga? When I was a junior in high school, EVERYBODY had a Xanga site. Then, when I was a senior, I abandoned Xanga and moved on to livejournal and so did pretty much everyone I associated with. Only, livejournal was a much different place back then. I think it's funny that I just now got back into livejournal for the first time since 2005. Back then, livejournal was a bitchy, gossipy place where we went to whine about our boyfriends and the girls we didn't like and create post after post of depressing song lyrics from some band where all the members wore tight pants and heavy eyeliner. And after we all got bored with LJ, myspace became the latest craze. I resisted myspace at first because my boyfriend kept hooking up with girls he met on there. Naturally, I blamed the website for my troubles and not him because I was a teenage girl, and as a general rule I think teenage girls are stupid. No offense if you are a teenage girl, I love you! Woefully lacking in experience is a better way to put it. Anyway, I eventually jumped on the myspace bandwagon, where I found a new place to chat with people and bitch about boys and post depressing song lyrics. But the world keeps on turning and something new is always looming on the horizon. Does anybody even have a myspace anymore? When facebook started getting big, I avoided it at all costs, but I found I couldn't run from it forever. I eventually surrendered to the siren call of social networking.

Remember how I said EVERYBODY had a Xanga site? Well, that wasn't true at all. It just seemed that way when I was sixteen. My tight circle of friends all had Xangas, and as far as I was concerned, that was everybody to me. But now it seems that everybody--I mean EVERYBODY--has a facebook page or at least has had one at some point. My 69-year-old father has a facebook and so do all of his friends. My grandfather and all my aunts and uncles and cousins have them. My former teachers and current teachers and classmates old and new all have facebook profiles. And as for me, I don't think I could live without checking my status at least three times a day. Some of the only contact I have with the outside world is through facebook. My best friend lives in Kuwait and my sister lives in Korea, yet through the magic of social networking, I am able to talk to them every day.

I don't tweet, but so many people I know have moved on to Twitter. I have a tumblr but I rarely use it. I use Blogger to post my stories and here I am, back on livejournal after a 7 and a half year hiatus to make friends and write about my life. Hell, I might even post a song lyric or two.

So what are your thoughts on social networking, past or present?