kariye

An AO3 Query

kariye — Sun, 14 Jul 2013 22:39:11 GMT

Guys, how do you find fic on AO3? Both you personally and other methods you are aware of.

I tend to subscribe liberally. Mostly to anyone who's written something I enjoyed, and then I go through all their bookmarks and subscribe to writers I find that way. I don't watch for new fic unless it comes through email notification from someone I'm subscribed to, and I tend not to search for anything by tag/kudos/hit count. These days, I do also get to some fic through tumblr, but I'm also already subscribed to many of those same people on AO3.

But what do you do?

The reason I'm asking is because I put up a fic there yesterday. It's been less than 36 hours, and it's had over 8,000 hits. Which makes me think I'm missing some fundamental way that people are finding fic. How did all those people find the fic? That quickly. Some of that came from tumblr reblogging, but not all of it because there was no reblogging until today. And it was at 5,000 hits when I went to bed last night.

So how? I'm totally boggled by this. Are people watching tags?

Fic: Give Me Back My Bones (maybe then we'll talk)

kariye — Sat, 13 Jul 2013 12:48:55 GMT

IDEK. I just wanted to write a coffee shop NYC AU. And then I was writing and it was so ridiculous that I decided to just go for it – this has got to be the most over-the-top thing I’ve ever come up with. I mean, I pride myself on subtlety and finer points in my fic. That sound? It was the sound of me flushing all that down the toilet.

I snickered a lot while writing.

Title: Give Me Back My Bones (maybe then we’ll talk)
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Rating: Explicit (barely, really)
Summary: Derek meets Stiles on a Wednesday. He comes in for his usual cup of coffee and somehow walks out with hot chocolate, cinnamon on the top, and no idea what just happened there.
Word Count: ~32,500
Spoiler Warning: Essentially none for S3. Mention of the name of one S3 character.
A/N: My most sincere thanks, as always, to perverse_idyll for beta reading. For existing, really. And to stillane, who graciously and very helpfully offered to character beta for me. This fic is much improved because of both of them.

Give Me Back My Bones (maybe then we'll talk)

This is backwards!

kariye — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 01:54:39 GMT

I'm now pulling content from tumblr to my LJ, not the other way around.

You know how sometimes you don't notice something until someone points it out, and then it's everywhere?

schemingreader made a tumblr post the other day about kisses on the corner of the mouth, which I happen to like, but now that it's been pointed out, I'm seeing it in all the fic. And the worst part is that I'm not sure if I've written it too. Except that I adore the fannish hive mind and would be tickled pink if I'd written it without even knowing it.

Also: Tropes are Forever from halffizzbin. You have to listen to the song, not just read the text. This is really funny because it's true, and that's what I loved about it - the sense of recognizing myself in this, recognizing all of us, how awesome we all are. <3

Character beta, anyone?

kariye — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 01:49:58 GMT

And with my sincerest apologies to any of you who follow me on tumblr.

In ten years, I managed to never once post the faces of any of the actors in my fandoms.

After one week on tumblr, I've done it twice in one day.

You know, Teen Wolf is like SGA - stupid show, fandom full of AUs because of that, fantastic characters that suck you in, and the whole John-->Rodney-->John thing that I did? Doing it with Derek-->Stiles-->Derek. I fell in love with John Sheppard's face, then quickly realized that Rodney's character was amazing and fell for him, and then realized, in the end, that I still loved John more. I am on the exact same trajectory here. Fell for Derek's stupid face, realized what an awesome asshole Stiles is, and am realizing that, in the end, oh Derek.

So please help. I have a draft of my fic, about 24,000 words, and I need a character beta. perverse_idyll has graciously agreed to beta and take care of almost everything, mostly because she knows I fail at life without her, but she's never seen the show. And this is an AU to boot, a ridiculously over the top, deliberately emo fic. And my first one in the fandom.

I just need someone to read it and tell me just how far off I am on these guys. Anyone on my flist in the fandom? If not, anyone have ideas what to do about this?

You guys are the best!

Also, I continue to love and hate tumblr, and to have no idea how to use it. Figuring that out is my next project.

Eljay, my old friend!

kariye — Wed, 29 May 2013 00:13:28 GMT

*clings* I have so much HATE for Tumblr right now. Where the hell is my speech bubble? I don't see one anywhere. I can't figure out how to reply to posts, much less reply to a reply. After now two and a half hours of googling the shit out of it. And installing missing e. And eating half a box of raw brownie mix in frustration. I'm closing ALL the Tumblr-related tabs (like, 50) that I have open right now because I'm no closer to figuring this out and I'm mainlining decaf tea with milk. As in, I've got a cup I'm drinking from and a cup that's steeping on the counter (because it's decaf and you have to let it sit forever just so it's drinkable).

Also, I am running low on brownie mix.

This is the sort of thing that will make me sit here for the next two weeks obsessively, hating every second, until I figure out how to make this work. And therefore not finishing my fic. I just want to talk to people, sob.

Praise the lord and hallelujah for fandom. I just checked my email and found this notification from one of my AO3 subscriptions, by a marvellous writer:

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Mpreg, Arranged Marriage, Loss of Virginity, Rimming, Impregnation, Blow Jobs, Fingerfucking, Possessive Behavior, Harlequin, Sleepy Sex, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Pining, Werewolves

So many of my very favorite things, amen. This is exactly what I need to make this evening better.

IDEK

kariye — Mon, 27 May 2013 15:40:07 GMT

Oh my god, I have a Tumblr.

I blame this entirely on Teen Wolf, which happened to me in the beginning of February. Avengers, last summer, took me from reading fic on LJ to reading on AO3; TW appears to be taking me from connecting with people on LJ to doing it on tumblr.

Except that I'm not, yet. Tumblr is so confusing - I get the liking thing and the reblogging thing, but how do you comment? Like how do you actually say something about something someone posted? And the people who post actual conversations they've had with others - how? How are they having those conversations and how are they posting?

Dude, why couldn't everyone just stay on LJ? My ten year anniversary of my LJ is June 16. And this year has been the first in which I haven't checked it every day. *sadface* In this respect, Tumblr is exciting. It's alive and vibrant.

So apparently the thing to do is post a fic on AO3 and in the endnotes link to your Tumblr. This is a very backwards way of making friends to my mind, but okay - I can do that!

About two weeks ago I started writing what was supposed to be a 7,000 word coffee shop AU, never mind that I've never written an AU or a coffee shop fic in any fandom or any TW fic at all, and here I am trying this for my first. Why?

And I fail even at this simply task, mostly because I can't keep things simple. Because I do things like make playlists oh-so-cleverly called "Coffee Shop AU" with Justin Timberlake and Rihanna and Florence and the Machine, and then disregard them halfway through the fic and listen to sad, sad soundtracks like Batman Begins. And then Derek develops feelings and even a few words.

So it's now going to be about 20,000 words and while it's still a coffee shop AU (because you can never go wrong there), there's angst and so much that is over the top and emo about this that I can only stare at it and get up and take a walk to catch up on the TED Radio Hour.

And sign up for Tumblr, apparently. So if you have one, I'm kariye over there and I haven't put anything up yet (reblogging is such a strange thing), but I probably will and please come find me or tell me where to find you! It's a big scary world and I need you guys with me.

Also, have any of you guys noticed the shift from "cock" to "dick" in your fandoms? A few years ago, dick never wold have entered my vocabulary. I never would have written it. I bet if you looked at my old SGA and HP fic, you wouldn't find it once in all those hundreds of thousands of words. It might show up as a snide remark and maybe once or twice in the Star Trek fic. But last night? I actually typed cock by force of habit and then deleted it and put in dick. Because it's the word of choice in TW. Not that cock isn't also used, but it's a substitute for dick when dick's been used too many times, instead of the other way around. Anyone else find this?

Kindle Help/Fic Recs

kariye — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 00:07:20 GMT

Teen Wolf continues to eat my life. I dunno.

Up until a month ago, my head was starting to tentatively spin Steve/Tony stories. And then Teen Wolf happened to me, and I can feel myself edging into the raw egg white of ficcing it. You know, that dreamy viscous place before you hit the heart of it and it explodes into a fic that you just have to write.

Actually, for the last week, I've been back wanting to write origfic. I always think this but have never managed to cross into that world. I'm not really into world-building. I like more exploring facets and details of what's already there.

By a String of Blue Lights by lapin, Derek/Stiles, ~6,8000 words.

Writer's summary:

In which they keep falling into bed with each other, and Stiles keeps saying it's just adrenaline, just a lack of Adderall, just a lack of good judgment. Faeries and their drugs, mermaids and their creepiness, and covens and their sacrificing, and they just keep falling into bed with each other. They just do.

And Derek says, "No more games."

My bookmark for this says, "Stiles is mean here. Which rings true, somehow."

Along similar lines, but even more, by the same writer,

I Don't Want to be Saved, Derek/Stiles, ~3,000 words.

Writer's summary:

And everyone, everyone has their own ideas about this relationship, they all say the same things, they all do. "He's not good for you," "It's Derek," "This is the fourth night in a row," "What kind of asshole dates a high schooler?" "I'm not okay with this."

But Stiles pulls the red hood up, wanders from the path, and he's picking flowers, and he's breathing, "My, what big teeth you have," and Derek bares his fangs, and yeah. Fuck them.

For which my bookmark says, "Everyone is perfectly torn up here."

These two fic are perfect. Among the most perfect I've read in this entire fandom - they struck a chord in me because they're powerful and unafraid - they're not afraid of themselves and to be bold and edgy and cruel in a fandom that's by and large fairly comic and lighthearted and loving. And I love all that delightful fic, but it means that when you find something like these, they stick and they hurt and I love a little bit more.

But the best of them all was this:

Love So Hard, It Could Rip My Heart Out, also by lapin, Derek/Stiles, ~7,500 words.

Writer's summary: Stiles is seventeen, and his best friend is drifting away, and his dad isn't speaking to him, so he's going to make some bad decisions. He's seventeen and he needs bad decisions to look back on when he's thirty, and nothing is a worse decision than Derek Hale. He'll let the Big Bad Wolf in, let him press Stiles down into the couch and he'll wrap his arms around him and he'll know it's a bad choice, but it's his, and Derek is here when no one else is.

I know, I just recced three works by the same writer! The thing is that I didn't even realize they were all by the same person (I know, observant) until I got to the third, and then I naturally fell head over heels for this person, whoever she or he is. And of the three, this one is the meanest, the most perfect. My bookmark on this one says, "Uncomfortable and nasty and utterly, utterly gorgeous with reality."

Please understand, none of these fic have gratuitous violence or sex or cruelty or anything in them just tossed in for the sake of throwing it in. It's the calculation of the words and actions that's so cutting. But you'll feel good at the end.

Finally, a softer and quietly lovely fic: Legacy, by morganoconner, Derek/Stiles, ~29,000 words.

From the writer's summary: Stiles has always known his mom had a pretty serious medical condition. It was something she lived with for a long time before it finally got the better of her. So it isn't a hard leap to make that it might have prevented her from carrying a child to term on her own. Stiles just didn't expect to learn that her solution had involved Derek's mother.

This fic had a quiet sense of things slotting together to it, of completion and growing up for both Derek and Stiles. It felt a bit like raindrops clinging to June blades of grass.

Someone want to help me with my Kindle Fire? It almost makes me want to cry because I don't really enjoy playing around with tech to get it to do what I want. All I want is to organize things. I've had it since last summer but I don't use it much and when I did, I was reading almost entirely in Avengers so it was fine to just put the fic on it, all unsorted. Because I knew it was all the same fandom. But now I'm reading once more in too many fandoms and I need to be able to categorize them.

So I downloaded calibre and tagged everything by what matters to me (which is simply fandom, general length, pairing, plus a few random things like crossover, AU, or ABO). And all I want is to have them show up in my Fire sorted the same way. But the Fire doesn't seem to support collections. I tried using the Kindle Collections plugin for calibre because all I want to do is sort by my tags on the Kindle, but when I try to automatically create collections by tag, it tells me it can't find any fic on the Kindle, which I know is there because I can see it. ARGH!

So, my darling, marvellous flist - how do I fix this? What am I missing or what should I be using (and how)?

In a few weeks I'm going to the Domincan Republic for my friend's wedding and it's coming with me, loaded with fic, and I want it organized! Many thanks in advance!

InstaRec: Teen Wolf

kariye — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 23:36:05 GMT

Teen Wolf continues to eat my life.

Also, I'm trying to remember to bookmark things on AO3 since I've taken to finding a lot of really good fic that way myself. So I figured I'd contribute to the silent reccing love.

The Strong Scent of Evergreen by rubykatewriting, Derek/Stiles, Always a Girl!Stiles, Explicit, ~29,000 words.

Writer's summary: Derek and Stiles start something new. "I am, you know," she whispers against his mouth, and he tilts his head in question. "Yours."

I kinda want to cry. Seriously, what the hell. Why is this fic so perfect? I'm a bit late to the game, as always - this fic has 40,000 hits and it deserves more.

I'm not innately attracted to always-a-girl! fic, in any fandom. I'll read it, but depending on my mood it may take a greater degree of good writing to get me into the fic. And the summary - it's darling, but before I began reading, I wondered how a fic with that summary - implying that the UST and, at least as important if not more, the emotional turmoil had already been resolved - how could that summary have anything to do with 29,000 words of fic? How could it hold the attention? Where was the tension if Stiles was already admitting that she is Derek's?

And see, the reason I'm still sitting here going "what the hell" is that this fic shouldn't have worked. That tension - it's not there, not like that. Sure, there are moments of it, some minor wibbling over how much Derek is really into Stiles, but that's not what this fic is about.

And yet - it does work. Here I am writing this rec up in the five minutes after I finished because I keep finding this smile spreading over my face so wide that I kinda want to cry, because this fic is gorgeous. It's beautiful. It's not light or cheesy or soppy or romantic even, but it makes me think of fields of perfect flowers under a late spring sky, or the pale splash of the milky way in a midnight clear night - all that hope and purity, edged with innocence, still innocence despite the characters' loss-driven pasts. It takes what should, by all rights, be a gooey romance - because this is a romance - and makes it incandescent and iridescent. It recognizes that for people to feel this way, you have to let go of yourself and trust and cast away fear - and maybe because these characters are teenagers (or the equivalent, *ahem* Derek), they don't know that in an articulable sense, but it still happens and it's beautiful.

The last fic I wrote was 50,000 words all trying to say one thing, that there is no fear in love because perfect love casts out fear. Because fear has torment. The rest of the quote goes, "He that feareth is not made perfect in love." This fic says the same thing to me, in entirely different ways, stunningly different ways. And it also says to me that, while I thought I was done with that theme after spending a year on it and those 50,000 words, maybe it's too beautiful not to do again.

Go read. (But maybe not if you don't usually read Teen Wolf fic. I can't really think this is the best fic to start with.)

Music request, recs, and a recipe

kariye — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 01:43:25 GMT

So I started this post weeks ago. And then Teen Wolf happened to me. I - seriously - the fic? In that fandom? Is crazy. Is wonderfully, beautifully, heartbreakingly crazy good.

Music help! One of my Pandora stations plays Rob Dougan's "Nothing At All" - the *instrumental* version. I can only find the version with lyrics. Does anyone have the instrumental version?

Before Teen Wolf, I'd started drafting an Avengers fic. Steve/Tony, of course, because Tony. And while the plot was solid and good, I couldn't get into it, even seven pages in. The process of writing was boring. Looking at it now, three weeks of another fandom later, I can see that the tone was all off. For me, for what I like to write. It's all straight up, telling a story. I love reading things like that, but that's not how I write. That's not what attracts me to writing. I like the slants and the oblique angles, the grey shadows, the things unsaid.

I'd left this link pasted in here for reccing, because this was an awesome fic.

Phone Tag by shadowen, Clint/Phil, Tony/Pepper, Steve/Natasha, ~1700 words. Basically what the writer's note says: this cracks me the fuck up. Writer's summary: One misunderstanding and a few missed calls.

And huh, apparently the next one's TW already. I can't even. I'm not at the reccing point there yet. Let's just say that of everyone I've read so far, I've fallen hardest for anything written by onrooftops and otter. Since I read their fic, I've read other fic that made me so happy I kinda teared up by the end, from joy and satisfaction and understanding, but finding these writers was the turning point for me: where Teen Wolf went from "hum, this is fun, funny, cheery, nice fic, yup" to something real and stuck under my ribs and yes, still funny as hell.

Last week I made a snack full of awesome. Taken from the Smitten Kitchen, which I adore.

Roasted cauliflower with yogurt dip. Amazing. I'm not even a huge cauliflower fan (you could do it with broccoli if you like that better - the white cauliflower was just prettier.)
- Break the head into small florets and toss with olive oil, cumin, salt, and pepper.
- Roast in the oven at 425 for 20-30 min, until it's getting nice and brown in places. The pieces don't all need to be the same size - better if they're not because then some will get all dark and some will just go brown at the edge and be all crunchy inside.
- And while it's roasting, you make the dip - Greek plain yogurt (full fat, because what else is there) with as much feta as you want and as much mint as you want (I used fresh since I had it, but I suspect dried would also work) - and just puree in food processor until smooth, and voila!
- for those who like measurements (I never measure unless I'm baking), I'd totally and completely guess I used about 3/4 cup of yogurt, 6-8 oz of feta, and 5-6 full size mint leaves. Plus some water to thin it out since greek yogurt is thick. I suspect you wouldn't need the liquid if you used regular yogurt. Really, I just took what I had and pureed, though.

I ate the whole head of cauliflower in less than two days and polished the yogurt off. Like popcorn, baby.

More Avengers Recs

kariye — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 02:19:56 GMT

1. Making the Best of It by dentalfloss, Clint/Phil, ~33,000 words, warnings for child abuse, sexual abuse

Writer's summary: He’s not telling us everything,” Fury reached out and shut the projection off, “I’m not comfortable with this.” Coulson didn’t respond, didn’t need to. “Let Rogers know I want Barton watched; he doesn’t go anywhere alone until we understand exactly what’s going on. I’m not losing him to some egotistical mind-f***ing blade-dancer who has mentor issues and wants to take it out on our asset.”

Phil nodded efficiently. He couldn’t agree more.

I enjoy Clint/Phil fic, though I'm not innately drawn to them the same way I am to ~~Tony~~ some other characters or pairings. But, this fic made me learn Clint; it had great backstory that wasn't walloped onto us at once and a slow, inevitable build toward Phil that wasn't the main point at all (except when it was). Great team interaction, and some of the funniest one-liners I've had the pleasure of reading recently. Akin to the Dos Equis commercials, actually, which are so funny that I can actually just sit and youtube 'em.

2. The Rule of Three by elise_509, Bruce/Tony, Bruce/Tony/Steve, ~13,000 words

Writer's summary: Steve likes Bruce in a way he doesn’t like Tony. It’s all warm and smooth between those two. They’re the kind of friends who can sit for hours and probably not say a word to one another and call it a great day.

This is one hell of a well-written PWP. It's not just that because the writer makes each of their personalities shine so brilliantly that you feel like you're reading so much more than a delicious threesome. There are doubts and uncertainties, wants bigger than those about sex, deft characterization. Which, really, in a fic that's about various ways three guys can get one another off, that's pretty damn good writing.

I think I may be a little bit in love with this writer; I recently crazy recced something else by the same.

3. (series) Armed and Dangerous by alchemyalice, Bucky/Tony, Bucky/Tony/Steve, Pepper/Coulson, ~66,00 words

Writer's summary: Bucky wakes up. Tony takes a liking to him. Steve frowns a lot. Also, there is some Avenging going on. And tech porn.

Why is there not more Coulson/Pepper in my life. Competency kink, omg. This is not a Winter Soldier Bucky, but he's charming and the interactions between him and Tony are sharp and glittering, and those between both of them and Steve, together and separately, are gorgeously drawn. This is both an evolving series of events and overlapping events narrated among the various stories. It's funny and poignant and utterly engaging.

4. (series) Long Range Reconnaissance by shell, Steve/Bucky, Clint/Phil, ~104,000 words.

There's no series summary, but it starts during the war, post-serum at the start of Steve and Bucky's transition from friends to lovers and continues through Steve being unfrozen and the Winter Soldier being found and getting Bucky back. Now I might normally be inclined to whine, "but where's Tony?" because all fic should have Tony as a central piece, really, (except Bruce/Natasha, another love of mine, maybe they can get along without him, but no, even there, we need a healthy dose of Tony Stark). But this is such a novel, such a complete story, and the faith that Steve has shines so brightly that, well, I read the whole thing through in one sitting. All hundred thousand words of it. Marvellous.

So, why rec? I haven't really been thinking about this, really, not pondering - it's just something that flits in and out of my little head as I paste links into semagic to write up into recs later. Why do I pick some and not others? I think that mostly depends on my mood and if I remember to do it. Certainly there are fic I haven't rec'd that I've enjoyed just as much, if not more, than ones I have.

But the query that flitters around is about reccing and how many people have already read it, to judge from the AO3 stats. Do you rec a fic that has 20,000 or 50,000 or 75,000 hits and 400 comments and 600 kudos? Because surely everyone who's interested (and certainly who's on my wee flist and is interested) has already read it. (I'm not on the cutting edge of the trend here - I'm usually months and months behind in my reading.) So do you rec it?

Are you reccing so that other people read it, or are you reccing because you're so excited about something that you just want to throw glitter out there, sparkling enthusiastic words, regardless of where they land?

I tend to rec because I want to toss hearts. A good rec (by which I mean one that inspires others to read) is an artform, one that I haven't mastered. So I rec for myself more than for anyone else. It's an added, welcome plus if someone reads the fic because of what I said. I rec when I think the world has already seen it, when it's months or years old, when it's the most popular ship or the rarest of rarepairs, and occasionally even when I think the fic isn't actually perfect but it pinged something in me regardless. I rec because something moved me enough to take the time to do it. I rec so that I remember what I loved.

But why do you do it?

In other news, I was checking my email this morning and got my usual group of Teen Wolf fic updates from my subscriptions on AO3 to people, who in addition to writing Avengers also write TW, and while I deleted the emails thought, why not see what the fuss is about? Hah. HAH. So I watched an episode. Terrible shite, no? *sigh* My fandoms all start like this. Down the rabbit hole... *g*

Recs

kariye — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 01:38:02 GMT

1. Jeeves and the Amatory Dilemma by who_la_hoop, Bertie/Jeeves, ~23,000 words.
This was hilarious. The writer nailed the character voices amazingly. The plot is the same as every J/W fic (Bertie's friends get him into a mess involving a female, the aunts are fearsome, Sir Roderick reaffirms his belief that Bertie's bonkers, Jeeves gets him out of the soup), but that's only to say that it follows the source material well, with the addition of slash. The joy is not in originality of action, but in how the story is told. And this one is told with the greatest charm.

2. (Series) Whither Wander You by isawet, Natasha/JARVIS, two very short fic (~2,000 words total).
I love this idea, and I how how gently the writer executes it. There's an asexuality tag on this, though I wonder if incorporeal/asexual might be another way to see it. It's rather romantic, not the way it reads but if you actually think about it. Such lovely glimpses of their relationship, and utterly believable - I can see Natasha being able to relax, truly relax, with JARVIS.

3. (Series) Don't Look Too Closely (all the angles are oblique) by shaenie, Steve/Tony, ~94,000 words and growing.
I think most people seeing this post will already know shaenie, who makes magnificent and hot as hell anything she turns her hand to, regardless of fandom. This is an AU (everything is the same, just that Steve meets Tony before the events of the movie), Dom/sub relationship. The sex is incredibly intense, but it's not just that. As always, the insights about the characters and how they mesh - revealed at uneven moments, perfectly placed - make the series an utter gem. Watching, feeling Steve discover himself is such a gift, and the small moments, little edges, of vulnerability that Tony displays at angles just prove the title of the entire series.

Avengers Rec

kariye — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 02:22:37 GMT

In the Stillness of Remembering by elise_509, Tony/Pepper, Tony/Steve, 70,000 words.

I don't know how to rec this fic.

It left me so completely overwhelmed and in love. I don't even know if it's that good a fic - couldn't tell you because it hit me so hard that any objectivity on whether it's a good fic or not (whatever that means) flew out the window at 90mph. But I suspect it's a good fic, that good of a fic. I remember reading fic back in the day by rageprufrock that made me react similarly. I remember reading one by pir8fancier back in HP. But it's rare. In all my fandoms, I can think of fic that I have loved unreasonably, that have touched me more than they should, ones that have made me squeal or want to cry (from desolation or joy) more than this one. In Avengers, the one about Dummy and Tony and Dummy's primary protocol - I loved that one.

But for whatever reason, it's a rare fic that gets to me as this one did. I think it's called transcendence.

I actually had to stop reading it for two weeks. I couldn't go on with it because I could feel myself being transported and if I had kept reading, I might have become unmoored. You have to be ready to be transported. Transcendence is by no means an easy thing. I came back two weeks later and had to start over at the beginning, but this time I knew what might happen so was ready and could keep hanging on. Hah. Sure, I got a bit further in the fic but it happened anyway. Transcendence.

Here's the writer's summary: Steve Rogers is a reminder of a past that Tony Stark would rather forget. But when Steve’s own ghosts suddenly become the present, Tony finds he and Steve need each other to face the future.

The fic is about all that. It's about Bucky coming back and Steve and Tony not getting along, until they do. I actually had a hard time the first few thousand words getting behind the way the writer made them interact. It seemed a bit off, didn't fit what I thought I knew. I wasn't sure if the fic was going to work - they seemed like marionettes dancing on strings the writer was holding, not real flesh and blood. And then it clicked, not suddenly, but beautifully and painfully. There's no awkward shuffle of the two of them around each other, no romcom or straight up romance where, despite the tension between them, the UST, you know things will be just fine. Too much pain here, too real. Pepper in the middle, at the edges.

Tony isn't oblivious or lying to himself as one does - nothing comedic about it, no easy out with soft kisses. No escape for Pepper that isn't painful, and painful to Tony because it's not like he stops loving her or they just don't work - just, something bigger that in a way none of them can escape. I hate infidelity fic. It hurts another person. It's the one kink/warning, depending on how you look at it, that will make me stay away from a fic. This is not an infidelity fic - Tony doesn't cheat (does he? where's the line?) - but it still hurts. It hurts, and it hurts even more because Pepper sees it before he does, because we see it before he does.

Later in the fic, I had to put my kindle down very softly so that I wouldn't throw it across the room, I was so frustrated with Tony. Usually when I read, I'm quite motionless, caught up in my head rather than my body.

But only a page or so before that, oh jesus - how to explain: so, once upon a time, I wrote a smoking!Snape fic. Snape smoking, sitting on a rusty, paint-flecked fire escape hanging from the edge of an old brick apartment building. The fic went on about other things, but the heart of it was that image of Snape smoking on that fire escape. He was in England, of course, but I was in New York City that summer surrounded by thousands of those buildings, tens of thousands of those fire escapes. The image seized me even though I've never so much as tried a cigarette, never had the slightest desire, and generally find smoking to be unpleasant.

And so, when we end up on a fire escape hanging from the edge of some crappy apartment building in New York, Bucky offering Steve a smoke, when Steve takes it - I'm not sure if I nearly came in my pants or started crying. Both, I think. It takes rare skill to pass off Steve Rogers, Captain America, smoking and being perfectly natural about it. But they could have been in the middle of the war, two soldiers passing a fag back and forth. This writer's Steve works. He works. And I had no idea, it never having even entered my head, that I would have a Steve Rogers smoking kink. Oh dear.

A lot of people have already read this fic, judging from the hits and kudos and comments. But if you haven't. I think one's enjoyment of fic, as with anything in life, depends as much on the thing you're enjoying (fic in this case) as it does the time and place. Where and how you are, your mood and outlook, when it catches you. So maybe this is the most amazing fic ever, or maybe it's not (but it's pretty damn good no matter how you look at it), but it caught me at the right time and place, and it transported me.

so I've either now convinced you to read it or just that I'm a bit off my rocker and have transcended myself right out of the realms of sanity. Happy New Year everyone!

Looking for fic, plus a rec

kariye — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 00:06:20 GMT

Oh mighty flist, come to my aid! I'm looking for Person of Interest fic that involve the Machine. I've read two, I think, POI fic - I'm not fannish about it in that sense (or I wasn't - I mean, I just binged on the whole first season, so it's new ground), but fuck a duck, the Machine!

It's like - I love JARVIS fic and (Tony's) bot fic in general. Both the fun ones where they protect Tony and Steve charms them and then they love Steve too and then Tony loves Steve and there's wall!sex and all that goodness, and the ones, delicious, where there's an edge. Where they Protect Tony, and themselves.

And the Machine is so ... ambiguous. The heart goes pitter-patter.

And a rec: How Come We Play War and Not Peace? by valtyr, Tony & Steve (sort of) gen, ~6,000 words.

Calvin & Hobbes fusion - this is amazing. The idea of it and how well it works - Tony being Tony, but working perfectly well as a type of Calvin and the same with Cap and Hobbes. The two of them protecting each other. The hints about Obie. Steve's crush on Aunt Peggy. Utterly charming. It's both a Tony&Steve fic and a Calvin&Hobbes fic, and both sides are perfect.

If there's one story I've always wanted to write and never have managed, it would be a Calvin & Hobbes fic. It's the only fic that hangs out there that I've never managed to do - but all my ideas are so very sad and I can never pin them down anyway because, like childhood, they're more along the lines of ephemeral feels. Someday.

Fic: For Gladness of You

kariye — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 00:02:18 GMT

Title: For Gladness of You
Fandom: AOS
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Summary: In which shit goes down in no particular order: Jim almost starts a war, Spock gets tortured, Jim gets kidnapped, Jim gets tortured, Spock gets not-quite-kidnapped, Jim takes the Enterprise joyriding, and mysterious Vulcans with their even more mysterious leader hop a ride for a few weeks. But that’s not what the story’s about. It’s about this: Jim was always going to fall in love with Spock – boldly, recklessly. He just didn’t expect to stay that way. A story about getting over all that.
Word Count: ~51,000
A/N: As always, I wouldn't know what to do with myself without perverse_idyll to beta.

For Gladness of You (at AO3)

So this is my first time posting only (and first) to AO3. The content, I mean. Obviously I'm posting a notice here. I'm very interested in the results of this. Also, I'm going to crosspost this to DW just so that my journal, started this week, doesn't look so lonely over there.

Experimenting!

kariye — Tue, 25 Dec 2012 21:22:29 GMT

Dreamwidth.

So I just added a bunch of people, mostly randomly, but I tossed in those of you guys whose names came up linked to other names. I was just clicking away. I'd love to get as many of you from here friended over on DW, so drop me your name, please. Or just go ahead and add me to your circle (is that the right lingo?) and I'll do the same back. I'm kariye over there as well.

Hum. How do I get the little userhead for DW to show up when I write my DW name in an LJ post? I feel like that might be a really, really dumb question. *g*

I dunno what I'm doing with DW at this point - if I like it, I may move. But for now, I'll be reading both places (and it's going to take a lot to get out of thinking of LJ as primary, so this is still the best place to get me). I set it up for crossposting; I'll try to remember to do so.

As for fic, I read almost exclusively off AO3 now. Regardless of whether I'm putting it on my Kindle. I love it. I'm about to post a fic in a day or two, whenever I get to loading it up, and for the first time I'm going to post exclusively to AO3. I'll put a little notice here. The last time I posted fic, I wasn't even using AO3, although I later uploaded it to the site. So that's going to be an experiment as well. Exciting!

I do not use tumblr. I was never interested in visuals and quick things. It's always been words. Even most fanart and vids don't do it for me, although I appreciate the talent it takes to create them. So tumblr leaves me blank. That being said, yay for everyone who gets joy from it. And who knows what my fandom future holds?

And now I'm going to make a cup of milky tea and watch White Christmas. Hope it's been a merry day for all, whether you celebrate or not.

Two Avengers recs

kariye — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 02:11:23 GMT

1. Quotidian by metisket, gen, Bruce, ~6700 words.

I read this on LJ and can't think of anything more profound to say about it than what I told the writer: this is some smart shit. It almost struck me as off at first - I had to read a bit to get into it, to feel it, because it's not your usual zen, slightly mopey, lovable sometimes green rage monster Bruce Banner - but, oh, as soon as I did, it's a gut-punch of smart, smart and funny and sly, oh, Bruce is sly and he knows it. Utterly marvellous characterization not just of Bruce, but of them all (but most especially of Bruce).

Writer's summary: An average day in the life of Bruce Banner. He tries so hard to mind his own business and stay below the radar. He does try. There should probably be a cautionary proverb about the best laid plans and Tony Stark.

2. The Whole World is Moving (And I'm Standing Still) by theladyingrey42, Clint/Phil, ~25,000 words.

If the first was smart and sly and cheeky, this is smart and gorgeous and a bit heartbreaking in the best way. It's a fix-it fic and we all love those, but what stands out about this is the beautiful desperation. It's hard to capture that in such a spare, black and white way, like certain Asian-inspired artwork. I suppose that pops into mind because of the use of paper cranes, which we've all seen before in fic throughout our various fandoms, but here, here they're not just a wish but a lovely, desperate plea.

Writer's summary: Phil Coulson dreams of kissing Clint, and Phil Clarkson dreams he is Phil Coulson, and every time the dream recedes, he feels a little more ragged, a little more torn around the edges.

Phil Coulson's life is perfect and full and meaningful. Phil Coulson's life makes sense.

But the sun rises. The sun always rises, and Phil Coulson fades away beneath the light. Dissipates 'til he is smoke and ash on Phil Clarkson's tongue.

Phil Clarkson starts another day, and it is shivering with electric blue, and none of it makes sense.

And Clint Barton…Clint Barton just wants the man he loves back.

I've read so many wonderful fic recently. I wish I had kept better track of them because there are so many more that should be shared, whether they've already had a wide readership or not. I tend to rec when the mood strikes, not just because I read something fantastic, because that happens a lot more frequently than I rec.

To all who celebrate, Merry Christmas!

Avengers Rec

kariye — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 00:18:43 GMT

in each place and forever by musesfool, who we've probably all been reading for years in our various fandoms. This is a beautiful story. It's Bucky/Steve, Bucky/Natasha, and to be honest, I'm not even a Bucky fan. He doesn't attract me to fic, though I'll always read anything that's written well. As this is. It's small and tight, and yet stunningly sweeping at once, and the understated emotion is intense enough to make you catch your breath. This is a few little pieces of their lives that capture so much more than the sum of those pieces.

Writer's summary: Bucky's always been good at fighting. ~6,000 words

Fic Links

kariye — Sun, 07 Oct 2012 21:54:39 GMT

Two fic I read today, both of which I thoroughly enjoyed, though in very different ways.

HP/Avengers crossover - this is so perfectly imagined. What a little charm. If I could conjure worth a damn (I wouldn't have friends like these) by lyra_wing.

Writer's summary: The Avengers are at Hogwarts. Tony's building non-regulation broomsticks, Steve's dealing with a mysterious Time Turner accident, Loki's sneering at the Muggles, Thor's wielding a Beater's bat, Darcy's commentating at Quidditch matches, Fury's teaching DADA, everyone loves a drink at the Three Broomsticks, and Bruce has a secret.

And a wonderfully full and satisfying fic, long and meaty and tender and so very lovely, and I imagine that anyone who's interested in X-Men fic has already read this, but still. The Winter of Banked Fires by yahtzee.

Writer's summary: Charles Xavier has returned from the dead -- but is lost within his own mind. Rogue has cast aside her own power and doesn't know where she fits in the world any longer. The production of synthetic Cure means mutantkind itself is newly at risk. And Magneto, turned human against his will, is in despair until the day he feels a familiar consciousness tugging at his own --

I find myself reading fic almost entirely on AO3 these days. I still frequently follow a link from LJ to get there - about half the time, I'd say. The other half the time, it comes into my mailbox from someone I subscribed to over there. I think this is because I'm reading mostly Avengers fic and much of it seems to be over there.

I miss the sense of community and the interaction via feedback and discussion that LJ, by its format, fostered but speaking merely in terms of a pure fic-reading experience, it's quite nice. I find myself falling into the same trap that others have mentioned - I put fic on my Kindle and then don't go leave feedback as I tend to read on the Kindle when I'm not connected to the internet. I'm pretty good about leaving it when I'm reading on my computer. I don't like this - as someone who, sometimes, writes, I know how much pleasure comes from receiving comments. I have to find a methodical system for coming back online and leaving them.

Huge Thank You!

kariye — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 01:33:46 GMT

The Potter fic is all up on AO3, thanks to the combined and much appreciated efforts of perverse_idyll, ireena, poshlil, and thady. It would not have happened without you four. You are all the best. I never imagined it would be done so quickly and painlessly. And they all look so pretty up there. Thank you so much.

Fic Transfer

kariye — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 23:29:37 GMT

I come to you asking a HUGE favor. I'm making the leap - I'm going to post to AO3 the HP fic that was posted under the name rinsbane. Under that same name. And then permanently make private that entire LJ, really close it down this time.

I don't plan to post to AO3 all of the HP fic - there are a few pieces I'm not putting out there. However, these fic all exist only in my old LJ. The computer on which they were written is long gone and they were nowhere else. And some are long, split into multiple pieces due to LJ's posting restrictions. And I have no desire to schlep through them all and put them back together in one file for AO3. *wry*

So I'm asking you - if I temporarily unlock them, do I have some volunteers who would undertake this project? For the sake of fannish posterity? For all those who still come seeking them (which blows me over these five years after I wrote the last HP fic). I've already created an account at AO3 under the name rinsbane. I'm asking this flist first because I "know" most of you to some extent - if you followed me here, you've probably been around me for a while. ~~And know I'm utterly nuerotic about my fic.~~

When they go up, I want them available to subscribed AO3 members only. Yes, this limits who can read them, esp with the current backlog of requests, but this is my compromise solution. If you bother subscribing, now or in the future, chances are you're a real fan, not someone blindly stumbling on them.

So, any takers? Suggestions? I suspect there must be a group of fans out there who does exactly this service for fandom, but I thought I'd ask for ideas here first, as I'd prefer it be someone I "know." It's a big project, I realize. I would be very grateful.

On a related, but indirectly, note, I just have to say that fandom never ceases to amaze and humble me - with the intelligence, passion, and love of fans. It all - you all - make me hum with joy.

Fic Rec, Natasha/Bruce

kariye — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 02:21:01 GMT

Oh, Avengers, why do you seduce me so? So, as with all my fandoms over the years, to a greater or lesser extent, I'll read (and usually love) pretty much any pairing. (Greater: HP; lesser: SGA) Avengers is to a greater extent, almost everything good. Though I admit to holding a bright spot of love for Steve/Tony.

And, increasingly, slowly, quietly, unexpectedly, Bruce/Natasha, or Bruce&Natasha. Rec me some if you have any?

Tonight I stumbled on a stunning one. Oh, the words. This fic is like a flavored cup of green tea, light scent and deep taste. It contains a multitude of small and perfect tells. (Also, apparently, "tells" is my new favorite word because when I went back this weekend and read my half-finished fic for the first time in three months, I found that word all over the place.) Anyway, the fic in question is although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight. by paperclipbitch, and it's beautiful progression of Natasha and Bruce and pieces and cracks.

Also: if there isn't a fanvid about Tony Stark to that David Guetta song "Titanium," there should be. And I'm not even really into fanvids. But every time it comes on the radio, he pings me. y/y?

Recs, tumblr, and AO3

kariye — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 22:49:59 GMT

This is prompted by rexluscus's recent post regarding a pic of Tom Hiddleston on tumblr and comments made by schemingreader and tryfanstone to me in response to queries I made. Can someone explain tumblr to me? It appears that part of the Avengers fandom is over there - why? I noticed this some months ago with Sherlock, but didn't care too much as my love is less intense for Sherlock and there is plenty of Sherlock love on LJ.

I've clicked around on tumblr to try to figure out what it is, and it seems to be for posting pics. There's very little room for words, so, no fic. So - why? (Admittedly, I'm not very visually oriented. I like knowing what they look like, and that tends to do it enough for me. I'm not even much into fanart or vids - I want the rich words of fic.) Mostly, I just want to double check that by not being on tumblr, I'm not missing any fic I should be seeing. Yes?

Which brings me to my second question - my impression seems to be that most of the Avengers fic is over on AO3. Not in duplicate with LJ, as all my other fandoms are, but as a primary posting place. Is that correct? Why do you think that is, if so? schemingreader has mentioned avengers_2k to me as an LJ comm, but all the fic I've read, which has all come from recs on my flist, is on AO3.

Which brings me to my third question - so far, I've read entirely from recs that have linked me to AO3. From there, I've read other fic by the same writer or fic that have been bookmarked by that writer. But. Is there a way to have a feed of fic coming in from AO3 - like the way I read my LJ flist every day and fic just pops up at me? (hah - as you can tell, I'm not a heavy AO3 user, though my traffic there increases steadily.) I guess what I'm really asking is you people who are reading and reccing - how are you finding the fic? Preferred or alternate methods? Along these lines - are there any Avengers daily newsletters set up? How do you know when something new has been posted?

The fourth thing is not a question. I just wanted to throw a huge thank you out there to all the people reccing. When I left Potterverse, the thing I missed most, other than many of you people, was the culture of reccing in HP. I adore recs. Avengers seems to have them - perhaps by no coincidence, because of many of the recs I've seen have come from people who I met in HP. Please rec more Loki fic! Or, you know, any fic. *poke* (This fandom is also like HP in that it's ensemble. I love that. I love teamfic. I love any and all pairings thrown together - I never was a very good shipper. I love it when there's a strong cast of everyone.)

So two recs of my own, both of which I got from others, see above comments.

Resurgam by lanyon. Writer's summary: "Steve’s not done any research into cellists in Portland. Tony says that wasn’t very forward-thinking of him. Steve clutches the brown paper parcel, that’s thicker than it was when he wrapped it first. He says that it’s about the journey. He says that he’s never once reached his destination." This is such a careful fic, with deliberate, slow writing that nicks unexpectedly. This is an utterly beautiful little thing about Steve, what his life is like now, after the ice, and what he needs to do. And those he pulls with him. It has a kind of stillness.

Shatter by aria. Writer's summary: "Loki," Odin says, heavy with disappointment and regret for all he has to raise his voice, "Odinson. I cast you out." This is Thor/Loki, though it's really about Loki and how his life intersects with Thor's because of this terrible burning chunk of fire that he just wants to be ice buried in his chest. This was my PING moment, the moment where I went, breathless - "oh, oh, OH. I see you now." I wanted to do Thor/Loki before, I did, because I think Loki has all these wonderful layers and Thor is, well, Thor - kind of like Harry Potter, really. But I didn't feel any chemistry in the movies. But this - oh. This makes more sense than breathing.

Avengers Rec

kariye — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 02:52:18 GMT

Yes, me too. I've been caught up in the Avengers thing.

This caught me totally off-guard. There I was thinking I wanted to read something with Loki or maybe Thor, or perhaps some combination thereof, or, okay, I'm always a sucker for ensemble/team fic in any fandom - but then there was this. Which is actually a bit of an ensemble fic as well.

Semaphore by devildoll; Steve/Tony; pieces of them all; writer's summary: "I’m trying to like you, Tony. You’re just making it very hard." Judging from the comments and kudos, I'm about the last person to read this, but if you haven't read it, you should. If you have, enjoy it again. It's funny and touching and smart as hell. I pulled it from a rec by tryfanstone.

Fic like this makes me want to write. I have this half-finished draft of a Star Trek fic that is burning a hot little hole in my chest, has been for months. I'm just not, for the best of reasons, able to sit down and write it at the moment. I don't know about you guys but when I start writing a fic, it sears me until I'm done with it. It's like I can't draw in a full breath until that last word is written. When I was writing short fic in HP, under 10k words, maybe under 15k, I'd finish them in a weekend, maybe two weeks if they were between 10 and 15,0000 words. Because I was consumed until I did. But my fic got longer, and more to the point, they got more complicated and less straightforward. So this half-drafted thing hanging out there is killing me.

In the meantime, I'm out in the country. The coyotes are somewhere up the hill, sounding like twisted spirits from the inner belly of some dessicated realm. And I can't read two really good fic back to back because I'd blow my fuses, so lest I stumble on another one rec'd by someone else with excellent taste, I'm going to go read some mediocre P&P fic somewhere or something.

Link to my fic

kariye — Tue, 08 May 2012 20:51:40 GMT

So I am now on AO3 as kariye. My SGA and Star Trek fic are all there.

It's absolutely fascinating, really - to see what people read and what they don't, compared to the comments received on LJ. There's one fic that people aren't reading as much as the other SGA fic, but on LJ there was no discernible difference in the number of comments. And also, the proportions of kudos left to readers on a given fic compared to the same thing on another fic, given that I put these all up at the same time so that's not a factor. Fic that has had hundreds of fewer views has the same number of kudos. And then thinking about what happened when I posted the fic on LJ. Fascinating.

In other news, I am now the proud godmother of an adorable 7 week old girl. Who did very well at her baptism and barely cried, even after the water. I had nothing to do with it but I take credit anyway.

All my silly questions

kariye — Sat, 05 May 2012 03:18:05 GMT

I realize that all of these questions are quite basic and probably quite silly for that, but! Inquiring minds wish to know. Or at least one inquiring mind.

1. How do I make my LJ friend page and journal show twenty entries at a time, instead of ten? My old journal was set to twenty and this one seems to have defaulted to ten, which is just too few at a time.

2. AO3 - I've posted the ST and SGA fic! Link forthcoming. In a separate post, because it offends my neuroses to combine a questions post with a post about that. But basic questions about AO3, the answers to some of which I expect to be "same as on LJ":

2a. How do I italicize a word when posting a fic over there? (I totally forgot about the italics in some of the fic when I transferred the fic over there, oops. And then realized I wasn't sure how to do it anyway and though I'd better ask rather than go messing about.)

2b. How do I make an LJ username show up with the little userhead on AO3 (rather than just typing the name and it not being a link)?
2b(i). The reverse - on LJ, how do I make an AO3 username show up as such, rather than just a plain name?

2c. How do I make a link show up as a link on AO3? Like with text.

As always, thank you for your collective wisdom, flist!

I discovered Twilight fanfic the other day. It's rather appalling, but beyond brilliant. I mean, I knew it was out there but I hadn't experienced it.