This year has been like the inverse of one of those breaths they tell you to take at the end of your Pilates class. Inhale on three, exhale on five. Except, in the case of 2025, it’s been an inhale on five, exhale on three, the long drag of the first half followed by the dizzying, tripping over itself end.

January was forever, February and March twice as long. I didn’t eat food for most of Q1, didn’t take my meds, moved back into my parents house. It was awful and kind of endless and then I went to Europe for six weeks and, shudder, found myself.

Came back to piles of debt and still living in my parents house but I had done this huge thing, accomplished the great big dream of my twenties, and I felt both wrung out and invincible, like I could do just about anything except there was nothing left I could think to do.

What I mean to say is— 2025 was a weird year. A wrap up loose ends sort of year. I didn’t so much embark on something new as I checked things off my list. Six countries to visit, three credit cards to pay off, a new zipcode to move to. Got a big girl apartment and a new lease on life. I’ve loved so much of this confusing, frustrating year.

I also know that I can do better.

But that’s for a future April to deal with. 2026 is a tip-over year, the century inching closer to her thirties as I enter mine, and I can only imagine all the new drama that will bring. But until then, let’s take one last look back.

As previously stated, declaring something “the best” kinda makes me want to break out in hives. I’ve done numerous “best” lists that I’ve immediately disagreed with mere minutes later. Media resonates on its own frequency, hitting me at a certain time and in a certain place, only to strike a completely different chord hours, days, years later. Idk y’all, sometimes it just depends!

*note: i’m only mentioning media that was released in 2025. most of my favorites this year fall outside of this time frame (see: weird year for media!) but you know, trying to keep it clean!

FAVORITE ALBUM OF 2025

Ego Death at a Bachelorette Party, Hayley Williams: Hayley Williams, my love and light. I loved this album the way I’ve loved everything that Hayley’s ever put into the universe. She’s the person I learned how to scream to, the voice whose contours I tried to echo with my own, the same peaks and valleys, the same cracks and pain. Thank god I wasn’t going through a break up when she dropped this. Even still, the pain of loving someone, trying with all your heart, and still failing, cuts like a knife. I’m already wincing at the state of my wallet when I inevitably over pay for a resale ticket to the tour.

Honorable Mentions: Fancy That, PinkPantheress, It’s Not That Deep, Demi Lovato, Who’s The Clown?, Audrey Hobert

FAVORITE SONGS OF 2025

In My Room, Julia Wolf: No song since Paramore’s “Decode” has made me long to be in a blue tinted forest, wailing into a microphone.

I like when it's dark out
October will cure me
I'm walking these woods
Am I 30 or 13?

One Thing, Lola Young: I spent a solid three months humming this song to myself through every moment of silence I encountered and it drove me insane. But also, I love this song a lot.

Break your bed and then the sofa
I wanna pull you closer
Everybody wants to know ya
But me

Good Things, Annabelle Dinda: Sometimes, TikTok is good for something! If for nothing else, it brought me this lovely gem. “The Hand” was the one that went viral, but this is the one I keep coming back to.

You thought I wasn't polite
God, I hate proving you right
Good things don't warrant a "please"
Nice words don't matter to me

Parachute, Hayley Williams: Of all the devastating songs on the new album (and there were many, my god) this one hurts the most

Tell me what was the moment you decided to give up
You could've told me what you wanted, I would've done, I would've done
Anything

Headphones On, Addison Rae: I was very resistant to the idea of Addison Rae the pop star. “Diet Pepsi” was the crack in my armor, the first step towards a grudging acceptance. “Headphones On” clinched it. Sometimes, reinvention does work!

Guess I gotta accept the pain
Need a cigarette to make me feel better
Every good thing comes my way

FAVORITE TV SHOW OF 2025

Heated Rivalry: Every shade of discourse there is to be had about this show has already been beaten into the ground. I have stewed on my own opinions, my knee jerk reactions, my annoyances and grievances and disbelief at how surprised the world seems to be at the fact that a gay hockey romance got this popular this fast. As if it was going to happen any other way. I don’t actually think I care about the discourse, all things considered. I love this buzzy, frothy, ridiculously sexy show, unironically and unabashedly! Sometimes, you just want to watch hot people fall in love. Sometimes, love just wins!

FAVORITE MOVIE OF 2025

The Long Walk: I had no idea what I was walking into when I settled into the movie theater with my brother. By the time the credits rolled, I was violently sobbing in a way that I don’t think I ever have to a movie before. There were a lot of options I could have put here; 2025 was a surprisingly good year for movies. But honestly, when thinking about what stuck with me, this was the only choice. Doomed narratives are always painful, and there was so much life in the boys undertaking the Walk, so much humor and chaos and silly, ridiculous hope. Even knowing only one of them could survive didn’t stop them from bonding, trusting each other, or falling in love (this is canon btw, don’t bother fighting with me). I still find myself turning this movie over in my mind, months later. That’s just good storytelling baby!

Honorable Mentions: Sinners, Black Bag, Nosferatu (I’m counting it!)

A state of the union with no ins and outs?! Sorry, but yearly in and out lists give me the same claustrophobic feeling as those best of lists. What do I know of what the future will hold? I have my ideas, my pithy little jokes, but I’d rather hold them for when they make themselves evident.

So with that I’ll bid you adieu! Here’s to seeing more of me in the New Year!

xx,

april