Buggre alle thisse for a larke.

the big tidy

juniperus — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 14:30:23 GMT

I've gone and cleaned up my flist -- anyone who appears to have been gone for well over a year has been removed.

If I've removed you in error, please let me know and I'll add you back!

I made a teapot.

juniperus — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 14:08:09 GMT

droxy just gave me the thumbs-up to post about it, since the gift arrived and Irish made her open it early. :)

Snape leaning over a softly shimmering, pewter cauldron (of darjeeling - lol).

Wee carved face.

There are wee feet poking out from under his robes, wee carved hands, and lots and lots and lots of buttons.

PSA

juniperus — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 02:42:18 GMT

If you have an etsy shop or other website comment below with the URL and media--iIf you're willing to barter with other artisans, mention that.

Let's support each other, promote our work, be the awesome community we are!

Added:
juniperus: pottery
sabrebabe: handspun yarn
ani_bester: painter, crafter
morganlf: vintage

Pottermore

juniperus — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 16:35:42 GMT

I'm trying to compile a list of Pottermore names so I can find y'all. (No, I haven't gotten my damn email, either... but many have, so I'm hoping it's soon.) If I've missed you, let me know and I'll add you to this running list. :)

aleysiasnape - ProphecyNight140
alisanne - BronzeLeviosa28
ancarett - WildCharm89
anijade - Seekerquest74
annietalbot - WizardNettle10
apollinav - AshProphecy91
ayerf - CrimsonSparks179
astopperindeath - KnightMarauder160
beffeysue - HexCastle58
blueartemis07 - ScarletSnidget18
celandineb - PhoenixThestral128
charmedforce - HexHolly9
christev - AccioWatch60
citrinestone - NoxLight162
clairvoyant12 - GhostEye201
dixiebell12 - EyeScarlet50, NoxDust61, GobletDraconis179
dragonsinger954 - SunRune126
dreamy_dragon73 - QuestFlight99
drinkingcocoa - GoldNewt175
droxy - KnightGhost105
flittterkat - SilverPhoenix12
greasygitsgirl - BatQueen105
feathersindigo - WatchWormwood177
ferporcel - HeartElm39
irishredlass69 - StormCentaur5
jinxie4 - CastleWatch70
juniperus - MidnightPurple193
juno_magic - MagicFrog28
kakiphony - AshSeeker211
kribu - BladeMahogany56
lampblack - LumosShadow87
leandra713 - Scarletseeker198
linlawless - WitchRose110
madamsnape - CastleOak90
maikker - RoseDragon205
miamadwyn - FangHazel96
missmiah - AsphodelCastle80
morethansirius - PixieHolly76
_odella_ - willowcrimson156
organic_chemist - CauldronShield19
owlbait - JinxLight121
phoenix_fancies - WillowCloak138
pokeystar - FeatherWombat50
pythia_delphi - WillowBronze101
ravenna_c_tan - ScarletQuest204
ramblingnic - CharmPotion196
roseofthewest - PurpleFelicis149
sabrebabe - BloodBat208
savine_snape - MoonErised189
schmoo999 - LumosOwl49
scratchingpost1 - WillowBronze174
septentrion1970 - GoldDragon89
shiv5468 - SeekerSkull180
silverdoe7127 - OakThestral27
solas_divided - MarauderBlood88
teddyradiator - IceErised73
teshara - elmcloak96
thesundaywriter - SilverHex101
timestep - PixieHazel56
valady - DragonFlight35
verus_janus - stormkey15
voxangelus - prophecygold11
zauza - HazelStone129

Posted per Dicky's request, like a dog that chases cars only to finally catch one: Now what??

juniperus — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 22:41:14 GMT

Lovecraft 'cult artifact fragment' experiment:

Cthulhu fhtagn (Cthulhu waits.)

part of an incantation that could revive the dead:
Y'AI'NG'NGAH
YOG-SOTHOTH
H'EE-L'GEB
F'AI TRHODOG
UAAAAH

Iä! Shub-Niggurath

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Japan Relief

juniperus — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 14:54:51 GMT

I have donated pottery for Japan Earthquake Relief http://etsy.me/hER4Oc
Please look at tag mudteam4mashiko for more pottery donations.

boosting the signal

juniperus — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 13:50:26 GMT

The Virginia Avenue Project mentors Los Angeles teens and kids in theatre and the other arts, tutors them in academics, and partners with them to create and perform original plays.

100% of participating children graduate from high school. 95% go on to college. 98% are the first person in their family to go.

The centerpiece of their program is in danger, and will not take place this year unless they raise $15,000. If you've got the time and ability, please consider either bidding on or offering items and services at helptheproject. Bidding is now open, and will close at the end of the month. Details are on the comm info page.

(I am offering a carved stoneware Celtic knot work tree of life tile.)

blogging parenting

juniperus — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:14:55 GMT

I blogged.

If you've blogged for kids with disabilities today, please send me the URL so I can add it to my list and inform the others (some of whom, I've been told, are still madly tap tap tapping).

I'll cross-post the entry here, as well:

Four years ago I was asked to join seven other bloggers–parents of kids with a variety of disabilities–to blog in an organized fashion on their behalf. Educate. Advocate. Each year since I’ve continued the practice, albeit solo. This year I've been joined, again, by a coordinated group (a list to which I will be adding their URLs as they post):

Another Damned Medievalist
Cis Masque
Clairvoyant
SabreBabe
Sonoran_Mamma
Tamela J
Tudorpot

Parenting children with disabilities is challenging on a number of levels. In the case of my family, the disabilities are (initially) invisible--mental, emotional--but no less present. I addressed some of those challenges (and the specifics of our situation) last year.

This year I want to introduce you to one of our challenges that you might not initially consider an issue: in addition to our daughter we also have a son. He is neurotypical.

Time did a piece on this awhile back (Autistic Kids: the Sibling Problem) and although Emma is PDD-NOS (atypical Autism) with other issues, the article does cover some of what we have seen.

But not everything.

Colin is a very, very bright seven-year-old. He reads everything he can get his hands on, manages video game strategy better than many adults, and picks up vocabulary like a sponge. He’s also immature for his age, not well socialized with his peers, and has anger-management issues that clearly result from the situation at home. Immaturity isn’t unusual in boys his age—although in many ways he is more mature than his sister, so it’s difficult to know where normal range ends and modeling his sibling’s behavior begins. A tendency to be awkward socially comes naturally, whether he takes after his father or I—neither of us were social butterflies. But how quick he is to anger, how what seems like a normal level of frustration will send him off-kilter, is a side effect of his environment.

It’s not easy living with Emma.

It’s not easy when you’re an adult who understands the context of her behavior and has maturity and experience to draw from when dealing with some of her most extreme outbursts. For a child it must be like living in constantly-shifting reality where the rules and outcomes are never expressed and randomly enforced… where expectations for him and for his sister need to be tailored to the child and the situation, even if we do actively try to maintain some semblance of consistency. He is as constantly under stress as his father and I, but he doesn’t have the skills to cope with it. Even so, he does his best.

As do we.

When he was an infant I had her help me as much as possible, to offer her opportunities for bonding (she loves babies, whether dolls or real). As he got older (and independent!) their relationship began changing. She runs hot and cold, and her random moods and reactions were often directed at him. She tends towards verbal and physical outbursts when her meds aren’t in her system, so the early mornings and day’s ends were particularly traumatic. And it’s only gotten worse as he’s modeled her behavior back to her and as he's achieved levels of skill that she can't reach, herself. Despite our breaking up countless arguments/battles, no amount of talking to her changes her behavior, and no amount of talking to him can truly make him understand that Emma going from I love you to I hate you in a matter of five minutes without any outward provocation is just Emma and not him. It’s anxiety-inducing to live with a time-bomb, and it’s depressing to be constantly belittled, insulted, and harassed (I know, because I’m a main target for her abuse, too).

So now we attempt to keep them separated.

I wake him in the morning after Em has left the house for the bus, so he doesn’t have to deal with the shrieking harpy she is when she first wakes up. When they were both in elementary school and riding the same bus, this was impossible… and it resulted in a lot of calls home last year, because starting the day off with verbal abuse and (no other way to describe it) crazy directed at you set him up for a very bad day at school.

She now takes the bus home instead of to the sitter’s house, so he doesn’t have her random moods interrupting his quiet homework time. In the evening we encourage him to engage in activities that don’t involve them playing together (since that just results in screaming arguments), like reading or playing strategy games on the computer. We spend money on devises and computers so they can entertain themselves without actions and reactions resulting in more hurt feelings and rages. We give him constant positive feedback on the areas that most vex him, we take his interests into account and try to give him as normal (what is normal, anyway?) and fulfilling and fun and educational a childhood as possible. We hope for balance. We take one or the other with us on errands so they can have alone time with both parents—so we can run the errands in something approaching peace—and I’ve taken them, individually, to visit my parents.

It’s not ideal.

But it’s never been, and it never will be: It’s our life, we do our best.

And that’s now.

Tomorrow, many tomorrows from now, my youngest child will be responsible for my oldest child. Because we do not know if she will ever live independently as an adult, nor how we’ll be defining ‘independent’. Because we won’t always be there… and yes, by that I do refer to my eventual death. So not only might my son have to help care for his father and I at the end of our lives, his sister’s welfare will become his responsibility. This will be a heavy conversation to have when he turns 18 or when he graduates from college… and when he thinks he’s found the one, whomever that is must, too, know what the future will hold.

But that’s not now.

Now is quite enough, to be frank.

And now mostly what I hear around my house is, “it’s not fair!”

No, it’s not.

And it won’t ever be.

Blu is amazing!

juniperus — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 12:13:26 GMT

and

xhatch

juniperus — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:39:21 GMT

This is the project I'm art-blogging for.

Feedback very welcome! (as in: PLEASE! Thank you!)

All My Little Words - 8-bit version

juniperus — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 00:54:38 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUgdQKigCf0

1. I love Magnetic Fields.
2. I adore All My Little Words.
3. This kid is amazing.

having a heart update and THANK YOU!

juniperus — Wed, 27 May 2009 14:47:06 GMT

Thank you to all who ordered these past 36 hours - $125 was raised!

And I hope you will consider making sure your donor information is up to date (find your state's organization at http://www.donatelife.net). Every loss -- every donor -- could potentially save the life of another.

having a heart

juniperus — Mon, 25 May 2009 16:57:35 GMT

I'm already planning to donate $ but would like to do more than my cashflow currently allows.

So I have an Eric sale happening for the next 36 hours - if you'd planned to purchase anyway, everything has been price-cut for the occasion.

Please check your donor status, if you're so inclined. Every loss -- every donor -- could potentially save the life of another.

Where's ...Lisa?

juniperus — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 20:26:18 GMT

Yo, medievalists!

If you're coming to Kalamazoo (in a month! holy shite!) and want access to my google calendar, leave me your email (screened), and I'll put you on. :) (currently, it looks like I'll be a woman on the move Friday and Saturday - otherwise in Reg.)

(and I still need to schedule the buggering f*ckery that are the on-camera interviews, but I'll put those on when that happens) :D Ever cheerful, moi!

er...

juniperus — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 13:14:45 GMT

FYI: doing some basic lj maintenance, including trimming up the flist and un-clicking any friends non-mutual. If you get a message that I unfriended you and you'd like to remain, let me know - clicking on ticky boxes in error is within the realm of possibilities given the hour and my insufficient coffee intake.

K?

An anonymous HP kink meme - baby it's cold outside, but it's HOT in here!

juniperus — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 23:15:28 GMT

What do I do?

Comment anonymously with a smutty scenario you'd like to see written.

Respond anonymously to requests with any size fic - from a drabble to full length.

If you request a bunch, respond to a bunch - OK?

Is there a time limit on responses?

NO! (but since people will want to post their fic eventually, let's just say that they have to wait 'til Feb 14 before they do it, OK?)

Can there be more than one response to a prompt?

YES! Plotbunnies usually run in ~~gangs that knock down old ladies for spare change~~ wracks, after all! When responding to a prompt, please indicate that it's a 'RESPONSE' in the subject line!

What possessed you to think this was a good idea?

I blame my evil twin, juno_magic. (but, as you all already know I'm a perv you likely won't believe a word of it)

on Emma

juniperus — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 04:24:27 GMT

Three years ago, seven other parents/bloggers and I banded together for a Blogging For Kids With Disabilities Day (my participation: part I, II, and III). Since then I've considered education (not only Emma's, but everyone who encounters Emma, and anyone else who will listen) part of my job as a parent. Invisible disabilities are difficult to manage for both the parents and the child - but also for strangers, as these disabilities are lacking the social visual cues that allow people to avoid being assholes around kids in wheelchairs (should they so choose), for example. And the stigma of mental health disabilities, not to mention the preponderance of misconceptions, misinformation, and outright lies, means many who have diagnoses won't get treatment and many who need diagnoses will be afraid to ask for evaluation. Adults and children alike. Many other adults who have their children evaluated, themselves discover their own personal histories beg for evaluation. A good friend of mine, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania, was diagnosed after his son had been - so much of his life made sense after that diagnosis (and his tales of being a boy with untreated ADHD growing up in immediately-post WWII Germany are... difficult to hear. And he is far from unique.)

This past week was ADHD Awareness Week. And so - I blog.

First: I don't care what you "believe". This is a medical diagnosis, not an effing religious principle. If you can't manage to get your head around that then you might as well stop reading. Really. Stop now -- nothing I say will stop you from giving these kids and their parents shitty looks, so save us all the trouble, ok?

Second: Last year I covered many popular myths about ADHD, and it might be a good place to start, if you're still reading and don't know much about ADHD or its history.

This year my post is a little different, but no less necessary.

My daughter, Emma, was born on December 26, 1996 -- it was one of the happiest days of my life.

Emma has continued to bring happiness to my life, but it was also clear from a very young age that Emma was different from other children. The differences were subtle, however, and often dismissed by people who didn’t spend as much time around her as I did. Whatever deep-seated impulse leads parents to believe everything about their child is perfect, I discovered (in my case, at least), it is easily overpowered by the gut instinct that Something Is Not Right and the drive to get help, no matter how many mountains I had to shout from.

She displayed cognitive... oddities. Things that boggled me - in addition to exhibiting delayed speech skills (requiring special assistance, which I was able to eventually have tested for and arranged) she clearly had processing issues, for lack of a clearer description. I could see it on her face - she wasn't following speech, at least not following it the way I could see other children following it. It was also clear to me her near-manic activity level was Not Normal. She was diagnosed with Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder half-way through kindergarten (I had talked to her teacher up front about my suspicions and asked for her professional feedback - once she said 'yeah, you might want to get her looked at', it was a go. Before then I was alone in my quest, blamed for her behavioral issues by the spouse, and blamed for daring to seek a diagnosis by my family - to say it was a difficult time is a dramatic understatement). The first time she saw a psychologist she spent the hour gathering toys and then methodically moving them from corner to corner in the psychologist’s office. En masse. Over and over and over. He showed me a chart, showed me the normal range on the chart. He took his pencil and pointed to the spot Emma had tested at (based on myself and the teacher answering literally hundreds of questions). The pencil point sat on the table about two inches from the edge of the chart.

I moved to begin treatment immediately - so much time, learning time, she'd already lost. I had to repeatedly request to get the school psychologist to meet with me, and I arranged for an IEP (indivualized educational plan). I eventually fought to have her repeat 1st grade because I didn't think she had enough time with the foundational material to continue on to 2nd grade, and she surely would have been utterly lost from that point on. And I wasn't going to allow that to happen.

Our first med was initially helpful for the hyperactivity, but not for the attention issues. Eventually it was clear that, in addition to its shortcomings in controlling the symptoms enough for her to do what she wanted and needed to do, it was adversely affecting her mood. She was growing more and more erratic and aggressive, flying into frequent rages (and she had been, other than her exquisite frustration when she just wanted to make it through an activity and couldn't, a happy child). That was the beginning of near-daily doses of verbal abuse for me - I'm her main emotional support [so I'm safe - she knows I'll not leave], I'm the setter of limits, so I'm her main target for frustration and ire). The problem with stimulant medication, however, is that it almost always results in weight loss - and our very little girl was already just at the 5th percentile on the growth chart - so she fell off, and we would struggle to get her to eat for many years. It's scary having an underweight child - one bout of the flu would have us in the hospital having her re-hydrated via IV because there was simply no stores to draw from.

We tried a second, which was a vast improvement. It was, however, difficult to manage - she metabolizes medication at twice the normal speed. This means a 4-hour med lasts no longer than 2 hours. An 8-hour 'all-day' med lasts til lunch. It also means that fever control for her is an Olympic sport - I have to go back and forth between Tylenol and Advil. And I have to make sure the fever doesn't start to go up or I have to switch from oral medication to a suppository - she projectile vomits when her fever spikes (while this is difficult and upsetting, I will express intense relief that I have been dealing with vomiting and not febrile seizures - they're frightening). I spent many, many hours holding a weak, endlessly retching child on my chest, swaddled in cold, wet towels, trying to get her temp down enough to give her Tylenol in the hopes that it would stay down (and then doing it again when it wore off before I could safely give her more - it was an emergency room visit that got me information about Feverall suppositories, over-the-counter gems that they are).

So the number of mg per day she had to take, orally, was frightening. I have never happy-danced quite like I did the day Daytrana patches finally made it through clinical testing and hit the market: same stimulant as she had been taking, but absorbed through the skin so she couldn't power through it.

Still, for all it did (handling most of the hyperactivity, and helping somewhat with the attention) it didn't handle some other behavioral issues popping up and growing more troublesome, nor the other cognitive issues. Emma appears to have a very limited concept of self and theory of mind. Her ability to appropriately empathize and infer intentionality in others is extremely limited. Although she is friendly and chatty she also tends to irrationally single out certain individuals for enmity. Disruptions in her schedule are major — some of the worst times we have are when she has a substitute teacher. She obsesses and fixates on things like tornadoes and hurricanes and spiders and alternately worries about them and/or wishes she could see one.

On the recommendation of her pediatrician she was tested for Fragile X, but that was negative. After seeing a new pediatrician last fall, after her other passed away, we had comprehensive genetic testing (and a full battery of neuro-psychological testing) done. The neuro-psych testing got us another set of initials - PDD (pervasive developmental disorder) and confirmation that her IQ is not in normal range - but it's also not as low as what had been termed 'retarded' and so we're caught between functional and clearly disabled, not knowing what I can ask for and arrange for her. The results of the genetic testing were...well, they were the classic good news/bad news situation.

The good news was that I wasn't nuts — Emma was diagnosed with partial trisomy of 16p. As the letter from the geneticist put it, “Chromosome high definition of oligonucleotide array revealed a small duplication of chromosome 16p.” The CGH showed “gain of four clones at 16p13.3: RP11-243K18, RP11-334D3, RP11-358F6, CTD-2608C14.

The bad news is that CGH testing is very new, and Emma may be the first child ever diagnosed with this specific set of chromosome 16p duplications. As the geneticist put it, “Given the relatively new nature of this testing, we were unable to find reports of children with the same size duplication as Emma.” There are certainly other children with 16p duplications, but they tend to have much larger duplicated material and also tend to suffer much more pronounced physical and cognitive problems. So, she's her own case study. And she can't be 'fixed' - that's always the hope, that whatever is wrong can be corrected. No. Never. And it's likely the result of just a random mutation (not that this keeps me from continuing to blame myself, but sometimes, in the middle of the night, I need to blame someone...)

So the result is both something and nothing. Nothing has changed, but having it on paper has allowed me to have the school system switch her from SLD (specialized learning disability) to OHI (other health impairment) and this has opened up a bit more in the way of services for her. Working with the pediatrician we've cut back on the stimulant and added Risperdal (an anti-schizophrenia medication), which helps to control many of her 'initials' (the OCD [obsessive-compulsive disorder] and ODD [oppositional defiant disorder], specifically) that have contributed so heavily to her attention issues. Also, it encourages eating, so that helps balance the affects of the stimulant medication (so she puts food in her body, feeding the brain, and she's managed to get back on the growth chart - and has enough fat on her body, now, to have begun puberty.)

Yes, puberty. And puberty is as effing scary for me as it gets. The pediatrician has given me the information that he gives to all of his parents of 'impaired girls' - once her menses have begun and are regular he will, if we wish, refer us to a gynecologist to arrange for long-term birth control. Because she's impaired. And because she's impaired, she's at very high risk of having Very Bad Things happen to her -- and because those Very Bad Things are bad enough without a pregnancy as a result (particularly, in her case, since she'd be very likely to pass on her trisomy - and the one thing she's always stated wanting to be, when she grew up, is a mom...this is not a discussion with her I'm looking forward to having).

Because I can't protect her all the time. I tell you, honestly -- I gave birth twice without epidural, I've been burnt, I've had a terrible back injury that required surgery - and there is no greater pain I have experienced than that moment, listening to the doctor... imagining all of those Very Bad Things. I was certain, certain, my heart had stopped.

So... each day is a new one, and who knows what it brings. Who knows what her IQ will ultimately be, whether she'll ever be able to even partly catch up to her neuro-typical peers and consider college or a trade, whether she'll be able to live independently as an adult. We just don't know - and that's what keeps me up at night.

I write this, not because I want you to think anything special or different about me (because I've just been doing my job), but when you see and talk to that kid next door, at the grocery store, or in your kid's class who clearly has something going on (whether it's ADHD, autism, Asperger's syndrome, or a myriad of other possibilities)... think about Emma. Treat them with kindness. Look at the parents with compassion - however stressed, however obviously overwhelmed they appear at that moment, they are doing the best they can. Believe me - if there were some way to make Emma's chromosomes normal, if I had to step in front of a speeding bus to guarantee her a real stab at a normal life I would, in a heartbeat. So would these other parents. Accuse them, us, of a lot of things, but never accuse them of not trying their gods-damned best.

And that's the end of this bully pulpit session.

(a single-post response to the comments, below)

Publicly posted, standing up for counting.

juniperus — Wed, 30 May 2007 13:26:05 GMT

I don't write fanfic. I am a parent of a pre-adolescent. But I do NOT support witch hunts.

I believe in the Constitution of the United States. I believe in the Bill of Rights, due process, and the rule of law. I believe in the fundamental right of all people to express their opinions, free from censorship or fear of reprisal.

I may despise another man's opinion, but if I take away his right to express it, I take away my own rights as well. Freedom and Democracy cannot exist under a mantle of oppression and fear. Wrongdoers must be punished, but not at the expense of citizens whose only crime is to exercise those freedoms set down in writing over 200 years ago.

Yes, it's "only" LJ. It's "only" fanfic. In the scheme of things, perhaps not so important, right? Except that every flood starts with a single raindrop, and the bedrock of our political system is worn away bit by bit every time the rights of ANYONE are denied.

(via this post from celandineb, and read the bit from ancarett! follow the link!)

I am a paid user.
This is a present statement. Given my growing disenchantment with Six-Apart (I also nursed my children, and their other debacle disgusted me more than I can communicate using polite language!) that is very likely to not be a future statement - I can take my money elsewhere.