jule1122

QAF FIC: Flying on a Star

2014-02-17T14:50:19Z

Even though I was struggling with my first fic for the QAF Gift Exchange, I agreed to do a pinch hit. I am glad I did because I've been trying for years to write this fic. I could never decide if it should be a drabble series or not. It's also the 2nd time I've written a fic based on a dream I had about Brian and Justin. The 1st took me years to write as well.

TITLE: Flying on a Star
GIFT REQUEST: Fic. - Post-513 (rating is authors choice) - Focus on Brian and Justin is appreciated but not necessary
NOTE: Happy Holidays maybe742! Sorry this took so long. I've had this particular vision of Brian and Justin post 513 in my head for years, and you finally gave me the push to write it. I hope you enjoy. Title is taken from REM's "Uberlin."

Justin loved New York until he didn't. Over the years, it gradually shifted from a place of constant excitement and inspiration to simply the place where he lived. He still found inspiration in the city, still enjoyed the perks and conveniences of living there, but it was no longer enough to dull the ache that came from missing home, from being away from Brian more than he was with him.

As much as he wanted to do something rash like show up at the loft and declare, "I'm Home," Justin needed to make sure everything was in place before leaving New York. He spent a few months securing his contacts and booking as much work ahead as he could. When he realized all that was left to do was finish the few pieces he already had in progress, he called Brian.

"Hey," Brian answered absently while continue to review the stack of reports Ted had left him.

"I wanted to give you a months notice," Justin began.

"Of what?" Brian asked, half curious and half amused. "You haven't taken up with one of those doomsday cults, have you? Because I hate to be the one to tell you, the world should have ended at al least five times by now."

"The world isn't ending, but I am coming home."

"For how long?" Brian pulled up his calendar and began entering the dates.

"For good," Justin answered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm coming home to stay."

"Are you sure? What about. . . "

"Brian," Justin cut him off. "I'm sure. Everything is taken care of. This is what I want; I promise."

"OK, that's great," Brian wanted to smile, wanted to sound more excited, but they've lost too many moments like this for him to feel comfortable with everything he wants falling out of the sky. "I have meeting, but I'll see you. . .soon."

"Very soon," Justin promised before hanging up.

Brian sat there for a few moments longer before it sunk in. Justin was coming home. He was on his feet before he knew it, striding down the hallway.

"Ted," be bellowed as he reached his office. "Get Emmett on the phone and tell him he has three weeks to get everything in place, not a day longer."

Justin hurried off the plane, carrying nothing but a small backpack. He'd shipped everything to Pittsburgh earlier in the week to make the final trip easier. Brian waited for him just past security, and Justin flung himself into his arms. They hadn't been together in over four months, and they kissed like they're at Babylon, not in the middle of the Pittsburgh airport.

Eventually, they break apart, and Brian pulled Justin into the closest bathroom where they crowd into a stall together. The kiss began again as if it never stopped, mouths pressed tightly together to muffle the noise as they jerk each other off.

Justin didn't notice anything until they've been on the road for about twenty minutes. "Brian, I think you went the wrong way."

"No, I didn't."

"I haven't forgotten how to get to the loft. You're going the wrong way," Justin insisted.

Brian smiled smugly. "We're not going to the loft." He paused a beat before continuing, "You said you were coming home."

Justin knew what that means, knew what it had to mean, but he couldn't bring himself to saying anything. Instead, he reached for Brian's hand and held it tightly for the rest of the ride.

It felt like déjà vu as Justin wandered awestruck through the house again. A fire roared in the living room, but this time the rest of the house wasn't empty. Every room is filled with furniture and stuff, their stuff, Justin realized as his gaze lingered in every corner. It felt like they already live here, like they just stepped out for a few hours, instead of coming back after years of absence.

Brian followed, hands in his pocket, pleased smile he only lets Justin see never leaving his face. They finally circled back to living room, and Justin stood there, still stunned, before he spoke. "You did this, all this, for me."

"For us," Brian corrected.

They spend the next month fucking on every available surface in the house, in the stables, and several other places on the grounds. It's desperate and glorious, and Justin swore it was the best sex they've ever had including the time he took up hot yoga with Daphne which led to several very successful experiments with tantric sex.

It took a while for it to sink in, for Justin to realize they were actually living in the country manor of his dreams. It took even longer for him to admit it's not what either of them really wanted.

Justin loved everything about the house. In theory. In reality, it's too big and inconvenient. He never even knew where the tennis courts were, and after the first celebratory fuck in the staples, neither of them ever had a reason to go back there. Justin's studio was on the third floor, which was great for light and privacy, but he couldn't even tell when Brian was home.

The drive to Pittsburgh seemed reasonable until winter hit or when Brian had a late night followed by an earlier meeting. Justin was often the one to insist it made more sense for him to crash with Michael and Ben then drive home, but he still hated it.

Over the years, Brian had suggested selling the house, but Justin has always resisted. Selling it, even when it was sitting empty, felt like giving up. The house represented everything Brian and Justin had put on hold so Justin could have his chance it New York, and Justin could never bring himself to let that go.

And now, he didn't have the words to tell Brian he'd been wrong. How do you say thank you for giving me everything I told you I wanted, but now I want something else? He couldn't risk Brian seeing it as a rejection or shake the superstition that their future was tied somehow to the house so he made the best of it.

It wasn't a hardship. Justin loved his life. He had a continually growing career as an artist; he and Brian were living together again, and everyone he loved was within a short drive. He couldn't' really complain about living in a house that was too perfect.

So he filled the space with people. Every holiday, birthday or day vaguely resembling a special event was celebrated at the house. They had dinner parties, theme parties and a few accidental orgies.

Convinced Justin was having some sort of identity crisis, Brian bought him an apron embroidered with 'Mrs. Kinney' and offered to replace their bed with two twins. Justin laughed until he cried the reminded Brian that most housewives didn't know how to deep throat or take it up the ass both of which he proceeded to do wearing nothing but the apron.

A year and half after they moved in, Justin took a break from painting and reached for his phone. Just as he had countless times in New York, he started to send Brian a message to let him know he was thinking of him. He had 'I miss you' typed into the message screen, ready to send, before he remembered that Brian wasn't in another state; he was just downstairs.

Two weeks later, he caught Brian finishing his coffee before he left for Kinnetik. "I'm having lunch with my mom today."

Brian eyed the towel wrapped around Justin's waist. "As much as I appreciate you in as little clothing as possible, you are going to need to get dressed if you're coming with me."

Justin shook his head, laughing as some of water droplets from his still wet hair landing in Brian's coffee. "She's coming here. She has a client who is looking in the area. She's shown him a few houses already, and he loves the neighborhood, but I guess his daughter is really into tennis so he is holding out for something with private courts."

Brian raised one brow, "Is that so."

He didn't say anything else, but Justin wasn't surprised when he canceled his appointments and stayed for lunch. Justin had never believed for one minute that Brian didn't know exactly how he felt. Brian chose to willfully ignore it, just like Justin did, until one of them was ready to make a move.

In less than a week the deal was done; they sold the house.

Jennifer reminded herself frequently that she loved her son. She reminded herself just as frequently that she'd come to love Brian as well. But in all her years as a real estate agent, she'd never had clients as unreasonable as the two of them, and she'd worked with some real assholes.

Justin hated the first house she'd shown them. He'd bitched through the entire tour in a way the reminded her for the first time in years of the pretentious know-it-all he'd been as a teenager. Brian refused to get out of the car at the second house once he spotted minivans in three of the neighbors driveways.

Someone was going to get their ass reamed over the mistake on the third listing. What was supposed to be post modern minimalism turned out to be country cute at it's worst. They walked into a living filled to overflowing with quilts and candles, the walls covered with hand-stitched words of wisdom. After a muttered, "are you fucking kidding me," Brian and Justin walked right back out. Jennifer just sighed and followed them.

After a near silent tour of the fourth house on her list, she snapped. Leaving Brian to sneer at the kitchen appliances, she dragged Justin into the backyard. "What do you want?"

Justin started to answer, looked away then crossed his arms across his chest defensively. "Ask Brian."

"Oh, honey," Jennifer chided. "I have. I know how to do my job, but there are just so many ways I can listen to him tell me he wants whatever makes you happy without using those exact words before I lose it."

"We tried that already, and look where that got us."

"Moving isn't the end of the world, you know. People do it every day otherwise I wouldn't have a job."

"But you don't give up your dream house unless you have to."

"Justin, did you really want a country manor with a pool, tennis courts and stables?"

"Did he tell that to everyone?" Justin groaned. Jennifer stared at him until he answered. "Not exactly," Justin admitted. "It sounded perfect in that moment, but I'd never really thought about it."

"People dream about a lot of houses they don't really want. They aren't normally in love with crazy people who take them literally and buy exactly what they ask for without consulting anyone else." She watched Brian through the window remembering how desperate he'd been to please Justin. "You're lucky you didn't tell him you wanted a house full of children or he might have bought an orphanage as well, and you really would have been screwed."

"Oh my God," Justin laughed.

"So what do you like about the house?"

"The fireplace, the master bedroom and bath, especially the jaccuzzi, the pool. . .:

Justin's gaze started to become unfocused so Jennifer cut him off. "Stop, if you were just looking for a bunch of places to fuck, you could get the loft back."

"Mom!"

Jennifer just gave him a knowing look. "Try telling me what you don't like about the house."

"It's just too big. We can be there together and never know it. There are so many rooms we don't use. And the grounds are too much. We only really use the space by the pool, but we need a gardener and a landscaping company to take care of all of it. We're too far from the city. Brian spends way too many nights at Michael's."

"I can work with that," Jennifer felt confident again. "Let's get out of here, and you two can buy me a drink."

A week later she showed them the perfect house. A redone Victorian, it had the size they were looking for along every modern convenience imaginable. The yard was just big enough to give them privacy from their neighbors and hold an inground pool. Just ten minutes from Pittsburgh, the area once housed oil and steel barons who built homes to impress and last. Most set empty for decades when the economy crashed and no one could afford the upkeep or heating bill. But several years ago, the next wave of Pittsburgh wealthy had reclaimed them. The neighborhood was filled primarily with childless couples who put their careers first and wanted the creature comforts that came with success.

The master bath rivaled any they'd seen for decadence. Fireplaces burned in the living room, dining room and master bedroom. Justin adored the turret that also ran up through the bedroom even though Brian mocked him endlessly for it. Jennifer pointed out the large attic would make a perfect place for Gus when he visited. The basement was already finished and set up for entertaining. Neither of them cared much for the home theater system, but Brian was impressed with antique hand-carved bar that ran the length of the basement. The original solarium was now energy efficient and would make a perfect studio for Justin.

Jennifer smiled proudly while they signed the papers. She's offered to wave her commission, but when Brian insisted she take it, she didn't protest. She'd more than earned it.

The next few weeks were a flurry of activity. Brian again put Emmett in charge of the move including setting the new house up. Justin wanted to oversee the moving of his work himself, and Brian quickly learned to stay out of his way.

Once they got the keys, Brian's first order of business had been to make sure the bar was fully stocked. He knew immediately it would be one of his favorite places in the house, and once he examined the bar height along with the mirrors covering the wall and ceiling behind it, he put it high on his list of places to fuck Justin. Somewhere between the jacuzzi and the window seat Justin was so ridiculously fond of.

The day of the move was absolute chaos, and it wasn't until the last truck pulled away that Brian realized he hadn't seen Justin in hours. Sighing loudly, he went off in search of him.

He finally found him in a small wooden staircase that ran behind the kitchen down to the basement. Brian didn't say anything, just sat on the step behind Justin, settling his feet on either side of him. Grateful he was wearing his long winter coat which he tucked under himself, making the narrow wooden step marginally more comfortable, he rested his forehead against the back of Justin's head and waited.

"What if we are making a huge mistake? What if this house is part of the promises we made and by leaving we're breaking those promises without even knowing it? What if all the things we want are only possible here?"

"If I recall the first time I proposed, we were in that hovel you pretended was an apartment, and neither of us even knew this house existed."

"I didn't believe you then."

"Well, you should of. It might have saved us a ton of money in real estate taxes. Also, we managed just fine all the time you were in New York."

"It was here waiting for us."

Brian wanted to say 'I was here waiting for you,' but that was too much. "You're being ridiculous," he said instead.

"Brian," Justin turned to face him, his eyes pleading with him to understand. "You offered this house to me as proof of what you wanted, of how you felt. I don't want to leave that behind or lose it. I don't want you to think. . ."

"You never used to be this obtuse," Brian rested his face against Justin's for a moment before pulling back. "You have to know the only way this ends is if you walk away. I can't, won't, don't want to. It doesn't matter where we live." He reached into his pocket, glad he grabbed the box at least minute before packing it away. He didn't question how he'd known today would be the day. Flipping the lid open, he set the box on the step next to Justin, rings catching the meager light in the stairwell.

"Brian," Justin breathed, his eyes wet.

Then he was in Brian's lap, kissing him desperately. Brian leaned back, taking Justin's weight as they kissed. And there was nothing but Justin's mouth against his, the press of their bodies together, the feel of Justin's hair twisted around his fingers. They awkwardly shoved their clothes aside as much as they could until it was skin on skin as they rutted against each other. It was frantic and beautiful, perfect, the sharp press of the edge of the step against his back grounding Brian, as they came together, never breaking the kiss., sealing new promises between them. They stayed together, still kissing, touching as come and sweat cooled on their skin, binding themselves together in a way no vows ever could.

In the end, all they left behind was an empty box on a rarely used staircase. Everything that mattered, they took with them.

QAF FIC: One Need in the Night

2014-02-17T14:45:46Z

I wrote this for the QAF Gift Exchange. It was the first fic I've written in about a year. I'm still a little surprised I was able to finish it.

TITLE: One Need in the Night
GIFT REQUEST: Fic. angst. Brian/Justin. Brian and Justin growing apart, still love each other fiercely, do not know what to do about it
NOTE: Happy Holidays selenebj! This may not be as angsty as you wanted but I hope you enjoy it. Title is from "One" by U2.

Justin waved at Cynthia as he passed her desk. She gave him a distracted wave in return while continuing her phone conversation. He opened Brian’s door only to find his office dark and empty. Frowning, Justin walked back out only to find Cynthia still absorbed in her phone call so he turned toward Ted’s office.

“Ted, where’s Brian? We’re supposed to meet for lunch.” Justin would have found Ted’s expression, a mixture of panic, guilt and resignation, amusing if he didn’t know what it meant.

“Denver?” Ted made it sound like a question. “There’s another crisis with Diva Pets so he flew out this morning.”

“Probably around the same time I was flying in,” Justin said with a sigh.

“It came up last minute. I’m sure he meant to call you,” Ted rushed to reassure him. “You know how these things go, but he’ll be back on Thursday.”

Justin shook his head. “I have a meeting Wednesday afternoon so I’m leaving that morning.”

"Justin, I'm sorry. If there's anything. . ."

"Don't worry about it, Ted," Justin cut him off. "It's not your fault. I need to meet with Michael about Rage anyway."

"What is your problem?" Michael asked when Justin shot down his third idea for the next Rage issue.

"What do you mean?" Justin slumped back in his chair.

"Look, I know you don't like all my ideas, but you usually don't tell me to quote 'Stop stealing Rage's plots from Fairy Adventure Times or whatever other princess bullshit JR makes you watch' end quote."

"Sorry," Justin winced. "That may have been a bit harsh."

"More like ridiculous," Michael laughed. "But more importantly, how do you know about Fairy Tale Adventure Times?"

"When we went to Canada last time, it was all JR talked about. She made me draw her favorite fairies, all ten of them."

"You are such a sucker. But seriously, Justin, what's going on."

"Nothing. I don't mean to be a dick. I was just expecting to spend a few hours working with you on Rage and then several hours in bed with Brian."

"I know Brian was looking forward to your visit. He told me in way to much detail how you would be spending those hours, and there was a lot more than a bed involved." They both laughed. "He wouldn't have gone if he had a choice."

"I'm not mad, and I don't blame Brian. I've canceled as much as he has. Every time I think we have the distance figured out, it goes to shit, and I wonder. . ." Justin left the thought unfinished.

Michael started to answer, but stopped when he noticed Justin had been idly sketching while they talked. He tilted his head to get a better view. "Hey, what are you drawing?"

"What?" Justin looked down at the paper almost as surprised as Michael to see what was there. "Oh, the ice monster you mentioned last week? If it's all angles, like this, less Frosty the Snowman, and more menacing, it might work. See, it's made of shards of ice."

"Yeah," Michael leaned forward, completely focused on Rage again. "His weapon could be those same shards of ice. He could freeze people with them." Michael kept talking as the idea evolved, and they spent the evening outlining the next issue.

Given the time difference, Justin wasn't even sure if he would hear from Brian so he was surprised when his phone rang before midnight. "Done already?" he asked in lieu of a greeting.

"For tonight. Terrence is all business, doesn't like to waste time entertaining when there is work he could be doing. So now I have a proposal to rework before we start again at seven sharp." Brian sounded both annoyed and tired.

"I'd offer to help, but you're in Denver, and I'm in our bed, alone," Justin tried to sound like he was teasing, but it came out bitter instead.

"Justin," Brian began.

"Don't, I've had all the explanation I need from Ted and Michael," Justin didn't want to fight, and Brian justifying leaving without telling him wouldn't lead anywhere good. "I should let you get to work."

"I have some time. Let's talk about why you are in that big bed all alone. You must be bored."

Justin huffed out an irritated breath. "I am not having phone sex with you."

"Are you sure? Because I seem to recall a time when I could make you come just by saying your name."

"Fuck you, that was one time! I was seventeen, perpetually horny and ridiculously in love with you."

"And now you're twenty-five, perpetually horny and ridiculously in love with me. So what are you wearing?"

"Brian," Justin groaned. "It takes more than the sound of your voice to get me off."

"What does it take?" Brian spoke as if they were alone together, voice husky and intimate. "Tell me what makes you hard, tell me how you want to come."

Justin was tempted to hang up; he knew Brian was goading him, but he couldn't help responding. "I want your cock in my ass, pounding into me, pushing my legs back until I'm almost bent in half. I want you to fuck me for a long time so I can lick the sweat from you body where it's pressed against me. Can you do that?"

"Eventually, but the first thing in your ass is going to be my tongue. I'm going to rim you until you're so hard it hurts. When you start to beg, I'm going to slide my fingers in with my tongue. It's going to feel so good you're going to have to touch yourself, and you're going to come like that with my finger and my tongue inside you."

Justin heard Brian's breath hitch when he paused. He closed his eyes and pictured Brian sprawled on some ugly hotel couch, legs spread wide while he stroked his cock. "Then what?" he asked. He squeezed his cock, not ready to come until Brian answered, but he let his other hand drift to his ass, fingers teasing his own hole.

"Then, I'm going to flip you over and fuck you just like you asked. I am going to fuck you until you come again, just like this," Brian groaned loudly as he came.

"Fuck yeah," Justin pushed two fingers inside, letting his ass clench around them as came. For a few minutes there was nothing but the sound of their breath, harsh and loud across the connection. Justin listened until Brian's breathing started to even out then he hung up before either of them could say anything.

They didn't see each other until more than a month later at Gus's birthday party. They flew in and out separately, not even crossing paths at the airport. Justin came in Friday morning and left early Sunday afternoon. Brian was about a half day behind, coming in with Michael and Ben, but leaving alone since they were staying for the week. Staying at a hotel instead of with Melanie and Lindsay gave them some much needed privacy, at least at night, but those two nights passed quickly as their days were packed with family activities. The sex was frantic, almost desperate, leaving them both needing more instead of satisfied.

September slid into October, and Justin made a very brief trip to Pittsburgh to finalize the Ice Monster edition of Rage. Brian's meeting lasted until seven when he dragged Justin back to the loft and fucked him until they both passed out around two am. By six, Justin was back on a plane.

With Ted's help, Brian cleared four days in his schedule the week before Thanksgiving. It's not until he'd terrorized his way up the airports chain of command, and been assured by the president of Liberty Air that there is nothing they can do, that he gave in and called Justin.

"All flights are canceled; the airports going to be closed for at least two days. I f I leave now I should be able to make it by morning,"

"Are you fucking insane?" Justin practically yelled. "Both Pennsylvania and New York are under state of emergencies. You can't drive here."

"So what am I supposed to do? I'm not going to be able to get this kind of time off anytime soon, and you owe me about fifty blow jobs after making me tell Debbie you weren't coming back for Thanksgiving."

"So you're going to brave the ten inches and counting of snow that’s fallen in Pennsylvania then the gale force winds and ice storms we're having here so I can suck your dick?"

"When you put it like that, what am I waiting for?" Brian pinched the bridge of his nose and watched the snow cover the airport runways. "I can't believe I'm being cockblocked by fucking Winter Storm Ian."

"Ethan," Justin muttered almost under his breath, not sure if he should laugh or cry at the irony. "It's Winter Storm Ethan."

"Don't remind me," Brian snapped

"Fuck Brian, the power just when out. I've got to find the damn candles."

Brian heard the silence of the disconnection before he could reply. "Fucking snow," Brian shoved his phone back in his pocket and braced himself for the walk back to his car.

Brian was about to leave for the airport when his phone rang.

"Please tell me you haven't left yet."

"Cynthia, I'm on my way to the airport. This better be important."

"I hate to ask, but there's a big problem with the Diva Pets campaign. You need to stop by the office."

"No time, I'm sure you can handle it." Brian hung up before she could argue. He made it to his car before his phone rang again. "Cynthia, I already told you to handle it."

"Brian, it's Ted. You know I wouldn't call if there was any other way. You know how when a client is particularly difficult the art department sometimes does fake ads to amuse themselves?"

The hesitation in Ted's voice told Brian he wouldn't like where this was going. "Get to the point, Ted."

"Well, Terrence is always a pain, and I know you saw the mock ups where they put his head on the Diva Pets dogs. It's possible those ads might have been sent to him instead of the real ads."

"Fucking Christ, are you kidding me," Brian couldn't believe any one would be that incompetent.

"He's been calling every ten minutes demanding to speak to you, but he stopped calling half an hour ago."

"I'm on my way. Make sure the asshole who fucked this up is fired and completely erased from the history of Kinnetik before I get there." Brian threw his headset aside as he wove in and out of traffic.

"Ted, Cynthia!" Brian bellowed as soon as he entered the building. "You have exactly thirty minutes to fix this. Get Terrence on the fucking phone so I can grovel while you make sure the ads I send him are so spectacular he forgets he ever saw his own image merged with a goddamn Pekinese."

When he reached his office, he still had received a response. "You're down to twenty-eight minutes, and if I'm not on that fucking plane, Justin will have my balls," Brian threw his door open and came to a full stop when he saw Justin waiting for him.

"Oh, I'll have your balls," Justin lifted one eyebrow and waited.

"So you're the moron who might make me miss my flight," Brian didn't bother trying to hide his smile or keep the pleasure from his voice. He relaxed, leaning against the doorway, tension gone as soon as he saw Justin.

"Guilty," Justin's matching smile was both relieved and joyous. "I realized I had more than enough time to get here before your flight left, and I didn't want to take the chance on a disaster, natural or otherwise, ruining our plans."

"So you blackmailed Cynthia and Ted into helping you?"

"Blackmail is more your style. I may have learned from the master, but I'm more subtle than that. Cynthia was happy to be bribed with expensive chocolate and wine. Ted was tougher, but I mentioned I wanted to paint a mural size picture of your dick that would be perfect for his office."

Brian threw his head back and laughed. "I've never been prouder. Now let's get the fuck out of here."

"Not yet," Justin shook his head and settled more comfortable against the couch cushions. "We have a long drive a head of us, and . . ."

"We're not driving back to New York," Brian interrupted.

"No, but Ted was so inspired by my threat that he cleared your schedule for the rest of the week and had Emmett open the house for us. But even with all that time, I owe you so many blowjobs, and you did say I had your balls," Justin licked his lips and beckoned Brian closer.

Brian stepped toward the couch until he was standing between Justin's legs. Justin sat up, running his hands along Brian's sides as he moved toward the edge of the couch. The new angle put Justin's head level with Brian's stomach. He wrapped his arms around Brian's waist and pressed his face against Brian's shirt. They both stayed together like that, neither of them moving or speaking, until Brian dropped his hand into Justin's hair and tilted his face up.

"I wouldn't want to put you behind schedule."

He sucked in a breath when Justin pushed his shirt up and began kissing the exposed skin. He was already hard, had been since he saw Justin waiting for him, but he didn't move. They had time.

Sentimental Repost: QAF FIC Picture Perfect (Brian/Justin)

2014-02-14T12:02:17Z

I was looking at a calendar and realized this year's Valentine's Day is Valentine's Day 2014. A few years ago, I wrote a fic for an Anti-Valentine's Day challenge about how Brian and Justin would be celebrating this day so it seemed appropriate to repost. While looking for it, I discovered that fic I wrote "a few years ago" was written in 2008. Where has the time gone?

Title: Picture Perfect
Fandom & Pairing: QAF Brian/Justin
Summary: It was the most romantic day of all time and Brian had a plan.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None
Beta: tweedygal Thank you so much!

Valentine’s Day 2014 was supposed to be the most romantic day of the century, maybe of all time. People waxed poetically about the perfection of the number 02/14/2014. Many ignored the zeroes altogether and took to referring to the day as two-fourteen two-fourteen. Since advertising campaigns took time to plan and execute, Brian had been hearing about the “Valentine’s Day to end all Valentine’s Day” for months before most people began talking about it. He’d been forced to sit through more pitches involving hearts, flowers, and “I love you’s” than he could count. Brian had done his best to desentimentalize them, to bring a sexy edge to the campaigns, but even he was only so successful in holding back the tide of romance. At one point he’d come dangerously close to terminating one of Kinnetik’s more lucrative contracts over the client’s insistence on an ad so sweet and sappy it made Brian’s teeth ache.

So Brian felt completely justified in losing it a bit when Debbie brought the date up at Thanksgiving dinner. A fucking month before Brian’s most aggressive campaigns would begin running. Only Debbie could manage to beat the stores in promoting what Brian had taken to referring to as Cupid’s Revenge.

“Have any of you starting making your plans for Valentine’s Day? It’s supposed to be the most romantic day ever.” Debbie beamed at everyone seated at the table.

As usual everyone began speaking at once. Brian decided he had two choices – bang his head on the table to drown out the noise or find a way to shut them up. Since he tried to avoid unnecessary pain, he went for the second option. “Justin and I are getting married.”

The silence was immediate. Even Justin’s mouth hung open in shock. “We are?” he finally asked.

“Oh yes, we are.”

Brian had overestimated his ability to derail the conversation. Soon questions were being shouted from all corners of the table. Loudest of all, he could hear Emmett wailing about how he was booked solid, and couldn’t they have given him some “fucking notice. I can’t pull a wedding out of my ass, you know.”

A sharp whistle shut them all up again. “I have it all planned,” Brian said calmly. “We will have an intimate candlelit ceremony. Daphne and Mikey will do the honors of standing up for us. Justin and I will be wearing matching Vera Wangs.”

At that point Justin snorted, and he thought Ted might have been choking. Ben shook his head while Emmett mused, “You know, she might be doing tuxes these days.”

“Justin will wear a crown of Golden Gardenias.” Brian continued as though he hadn’t been interrupted. “Gus can walk me down the aisle and Debbie and Jennifer will escort Justin. Ted, you’ll sing won’t you?”

“Of course, Brian,” Ted managed to answer as he struggled not to laugh.

“Excellent, you can sing “Wind Beneath My Wings” when Justin comes down the aisle and “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” when I do.” Everyone was laughing except for Debbie who glared at him, but Brian kept going. “J.R., you can be the flower girl.” She nodded happily. “Let’s see, the professor can do a reading. I’m thinking “How Do I Love Thee,” but I’m open for suggestions. And Lindsay, we will need a wedding portrait for over the fireplace. I think that covers everything.” Brian leaned back in his chair and smiled.

Debbie sighed and stood up, slowly making her way to stand in front of Brian. “If I thought for one second, just one second, you were serious about making an honest man out of my Sunshine,” she reached over and patted Justin on the head, “I’d be there with bells on. Fucking bells, right here.” Debbie gave her breasts a squeeze for emphasis as her voice rose.

“Deb, be careful where you’re pointing those things.” Brian shrank back and tried to hide behind Justin, but Justin had already collapsed in hysterical laughter, red-faced and wheezing.

“Kinney, I’d move your eyes back up if I were you. Those beauties are all mine,” Carl shouted from the other end of the table.

“Are you saying you don’t believe my intentions are pure and honorable?” Brian asked, happily shifting his gaze from Debbie’s chest.

Before Debbie could respond, Michael interrupted. “Brian, stop encouraging her. And Ma, leave Brian alone. You know he and Justin are as married as Ben and I.”

“Oh really,” Debbie shifted her attention to her son. “Was there a wedding I somehow missed? Because if there was, a lot of people are going to be very sorry.”

Michael cleared his throat and looked pointedly at the ring on Brian’s left hand. The rings had been the subject of much speculation when they began wearing them six months after Justin came back from New York. Neither of them had offered an explanation, mostly because there wasn’t one. Brian had run across the box one morning when looking for one of his ties and had thought “why the hell not?” He put his ring on and left the open box by the coffeepot for Justin to find. Justin had been wearing his ring when Brian got home that night, and that had been enough for them.

Debbie picked up Brian’s hand and examined it critically. “It’s a beautiful ring, Brian. And it does stand for commitment. It warms my heart more than you know to see you boys wear these, to see you publicly admit your commitment to each other. But a marriage is more than a piece of jewelry. It’s a chance for two people to declare their love in front of their friends and family. It’s a time for them to make promises to each other and to have those promises blessed by those who witness it. That’s what I’m waiting for. And no one, not even you,” Debbie pointed her finger at Brian, “gets to mock that.”

Silence reigned again as everyone shifted uncomfortably under Debbie’s glare. Finally she sniffed dramatically and wiped her eyes. “Now who wants some fucking pie?”

Debbie waited until Brian had taken his first bite of pumpkin pie before speaking again. “The wind beneath my fucking wings,” Debbie snorted and shook her head. “Really Brian, who did you think you were kidding? It’s more like ‘When I Think About You I Touch Myself.’” She smiled in satisfaction as Brian spit his pie out while laughing.

A few weeks later over breakfast at the diner, Michael told him he and Ben were planning to spend Valentine’s Day in Tibet.

“Of course, because nothing says romance like enforced celibacy.” Brian raised his eyebrow at Michael.

“Despite what we once thought, it’s not always about sex.”

“Says someone who isn’t getting any. Don’t tell me the mighty professor is falling down on the job.”

“Ben and I are having plenty of sex thank you very much, and I have the hickeys to prove it.” Michael blushed just a little. “We just thought it would be a good chance to share something special, something that will bring us closer.”

Brian resisted the urge to make gagging noises. “Ben’s still doing all right isn’t he?”

“Yeah, Ben’s great. That’s why we’re going. We’ve been talking about it for a while, and it was always something we thought we’d do as a last trip. One last hurrah before, well you know. When we first got together, we didn’t know how much time we would have, and we were always waiting for the end. But Ben’s healthy, and he could stay that way for a long time, so why wait?” Michael smiled and shrugged.

There were a lot of things Brian wanted to say about Michael growing up, and how sometimes he just couldn’t help being proud of Michael. But those things had been said before, and Brian was not going to let himself be dragged into sentiment if it even remotely involved Valentine’s Day. So instead he gave Michael a long suffering sigh, “Fine, take your little trip. Maybe when Justin and I are enjoying our first dance to “You Are So Beautiful To Me,” we’ll spare a thought for you and the professor sitting cross-legged on a hard floor and eating cold rice.”

Michael rolled his eyes, “Will you stop with the wedding thing? You’re going to get my mom all riled up again.”

“I don’t know why no one is taking this seriously.” Brian feigned hurt.

“Because like I said, you and Justin are already married, no matter what you call it.”

“Your mother would beg to differ as she has already done quite eloquently I might add.”

“That was just Ma being Ma.” Michael waved a hand dismissively. “You know as well as I do that for queers getting married is less about a ceremony and more about paperwork. There’s living wills, next of kin, survivorship. . .” Michael continued to list legal documents.

Brian finally cut in, “And your point would be?”

“My point is that I bet you and Justin have all that in order and have for years.” Michael leaned onto the table and waited for a response.

Brian ducked his head and called for the check. He stuck his tongue out at Michael’s smug look, but didn’t bother denying it. Michael had witnessed his signature on several of those documents and knew just how long they had been in affect.

“I wish the roads had been plowed in time for us to drive out to the house. A fire would have been nice tonight.” Justin moved closer to Brian under the duvet.

“There’s nothing like February in the Pitts.” Brian answered sarcastically.

“Daphne can’t wait to go on the cruise Dan booked for them. After forgetting the last two Valentine’s Days, she said he managed to make up for it this year.”

“Nobody wants to go to our wedding,” Brian sighed dramatically.

“Brian,” Justin laughed, “I don’t want to go to our wedding. Will you let it go already?”

“Oh come on, tell me you aren’t even a little bit tempted.”

“Not in the slightest.” Justin turned back from the nightstand where he had pulled out a joint. He lit it and took a hit before passing it to Brian. “There are a lot of things I will do for you, Brian. But putting on a dress and wearing flowers in my hair so you can make a statement about commercialized holidays and heterosexual rituals that uphold antiquated notions of love is not one of them.”

“OK, forget the dresses. We’ll put you in all white, and I’ll wear all black.”

“The answer’s still no. Why can’t we do what we do every Valentine’s Day?”

“We don’t do anything on Valentine’s Day. Well, we fuck, but that has nothing to do with the occasion.” Brian took a deep drag off the joint and watched the smoke float up to the ceiling.

“Exactly. We’ve never acknowledged Valentine’s Day before so why start now?” Justin took the joint back. “Do you how absurd it is that we’re even having this conversation? I mean no one thought we’d last a month let alone long enough to be talking about Valentine’s Day 2014. If my father were dead, he’d be spinning in his grave.”

“My mom too,” Brian laughed. “All those dire predictions of how we were doomed to a lifetime of misery and a one way ticket to hell, and here we are happier than any of them.”

“And having better sex.”

“That goes without saying. See? We really do need to do something to commemorate this momentous occasion if only to stick it all the fuckers who think they’re better than us.”

“Fine, but come up with something that doesn’t humiliate us in the process.” Justin gave the joint back, and they didn’t talk while they finished it.

“I got it!” Brian announced. He would later blame his idea on the truly spectacular high he was experiencing, but that didn’t explain actually going through with it.

On Valentine’s Day 2014, packages were hand-delivered to the following people: Joan Kinney, Craig Taylor, Chris Hobbs, Jim Stockwell, and Ethan Gold. Each package contained five 8x10 color photographs.

Justin on his knees with just the head of Brian’s dick in his mouth. Brian’s eyes are closed and his hands are fisted in Justin’s hair.

Brian winking at the camera as his tongue reaches the swell of Justin’s ass.

Justin lying with his legs spread wide and back and his back arched as Brian fucks him with a large red dildo while sucking him off.

Justin’s mouth closing around the joint Brian holds in his teeth as they jerk each other off.

Brian fucking Justin from behind with Justin bent over the back of the couch.

No card had been included. Brian and Justin had debated adding captions to the pictures as well as a variety of messages that essentially translated to “Fuck You.” But in the end they decided the pictures spoke for themselves.

All the pictures they sent were posed shots. They wanted pictures that were shocking, dirty and in-your-face. But they also let the camera run on a timer in the bedroom for a few nights in the hopes of catching a few good candid shoots. They’d made their own porn before so the camera wasn’t a distraction.

Almost all the shots were wasted. They got pictures of random knees and elbows, large expanses of empty bed. But there were a few exceptions.

Justin resting his head on Brian’s hip, his hand cradling Brian’s softening cock just after he’d blown him.

The brush of Brian’s lip against the back of Justin’s neck as he entered him from behind.

Brian stretched out over Justin, their hands tightly clasped and pressed into the pillow above Justin’s head.

An odd close up of Brian with his head thrown back while Justin is licking his neck.

Justin sleeping, curled onto his side. Brian is stroking his hair and watching him. He is wearing a smile only Justin has ever seen.

These pictures they keep for themselves, tucked away where no one else will ever see them. There are also three pictures that catch them kissing. They show nothing but their faces and in one, Brian’s hand against Justin’s cheek. Justin frames and places them on the mantle.

QAF Drabbles Theme RImming vs Blowjobs

2012-08-02T21:49:38Z

Over the last few weeks, qaf_drabbles had a special challenge theme of Rimming vs Blowjobs. I may have found this mildly inspiring and written 24 drabbles. I am trying to stay in the habit of writing drabbles on a regular basis. We'll see how long I can last. With out a doubt the hardest thing about drabbles is coming up with at title for all of them. Sometimes that takes me longer than writing the drabble does.

Here are my drabbles. If you haven't already, go to qaf_drabbles and read all of them.

Title: Learning Curve

“So what’s like the kinkiest thing you’ve done with Brian?” Daphne asked as they sat by the pool pretending to study physics.

Justin blushed and mumbled a response.

“He did what?” Daphne asked loudly, her eyes wide with surprise. “With his tongue?”

“I know it sounds gross, but it feels really good,” Justin said defensively.

“If you say so,” Daphne wrinkled her nose. “Have you, you know,” Daphne’s voice dropped to a whisper, “done it to him?”

“No,” Justin answered quickly.

Daphne narrowed her eyes, staring at him, “But you want to.”

“No!” Justin practically shouted, his blush deepening. “Maybe.”

“You want to do what?” Brian asked, one eyebrow raised.

His response was a string of mumbled, unintelligible syllables.

Brian rolled his eyes. “If you can’t say it, you’re sure as hell not doing it.”

“I want to rim you, OK. I want to stick my tongue up your ass. Is that alright with you?” Justin demanded belligerently.

Christ, the kid was a damn princess. “Have at it,” he said before rolling over.

The next time Brian rolled his eyes, he was biting back a moan and humping the duvet.

He should have fucking known Justin would be a natural.

Title: A Certain Kind of Comfort

Justin entered the loft and headed straight for the bedroom, stripping his suit as he went. Brian would be pissed, but he didn’t care.

He collapsed, naked, onto the bed, burying his face is his arms and trying desperately to forget.

Justin woke to the feel of hands stroking his back before coming to rest on his ass. Then warm breath and the cook slickness of Brian’s tongue against his hole.

He tensed slightly, but Brian held him still and kept licking and stroking, opening him slowly with his tongue, until there was nothing but want and need and. . . love.

Title: Let Sleeping Dogs. . .

Brian hated mornings. He found them much more tolerable when he woke with Justin’s mouth wrapped around his dick. So when he generously decided to return the favor, he didn’t plan on dodging a surprising accurate knee to his head.

“The fuck?” he shouted, rearing back.

Justin sat up, staring at Brian with barely focused eyes. “Jesus, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“With a blowjob?” Brian asked sarcastically. “You’re thirty not ninety.”

“I was sleeping!” Justin defended himself. “You could have warned me.”

Brian just shook his head and stomped off to the bathroom. He really hated mornings.

Title: Master Class

A blowjob was a blowjob. Brian figured one mouth sucking his cock was the same as another. When blowjobs started boring him, he assumed the quality of cocksucking in Pittsburgh was as piss poor as everything in else in the backwards fucking pathetic excuse for a city.

Then Justin came along and dedicated himself to the art of sucking Brian’s cock. He learned every one of his kinks, even ones Brian didn’t realize he had.

Justin could get him off in under a minute or drag a blowjob out until Brian practically begged to come. And he was never boring.

Title: Variety is the Spice of Life

Debbie cleared the table and refilled Ted and Emmett’s wine glasses before sitting down.

“I wanted to thank you for the lessons and your help with Carl.”

“Don’t mention it,” Emmett said graciously.

“Please,” Ted pleaded.

Emmett elbowed him before continuing, “We’re just glad everything worked out.”

“Carl’s pretty damn pleased with the results so I’m ready for another lesson.”

“Given Carl’s pleasure, ummm,” Emmett blushed and stammered, “I mean happiness, I doubt you need one.”

“What do you boys know about rimming?”

Emmett buried his face in his hands as Ted shot a mouthful of wine across the table.

Title: Commiseration

Brian wasn’t superstitious; he’d never worried about Friday the 13th. But this year the hot water ran out during his shower, and at breakfast, the new waiter tripped, dropping his omelet into his lap.

When he got to Kinnetik, Cynthia told him a major campaign proposal had been accidently deleted. And lunch left the entire art department suffering from food poisoning.

Justin struggled to keep a straight face as Brian described the day’s disasters while stretched out on the couch with a cool compress over his eyes. “Poor baby,” he teased. “Let me blow you and make it all better.”

Title: Turning Away

Rimming was hot and filthy in the best way. But it was also incredibly intimate and sometimes surprisingly tender. Justin loved doing with Brian, but never tried it with a trick.

When Ethan begged him to make love to him, Justin followed a long massage with a trail of kisses down his back, not stopping when he reached Ethan’s ass.

When Ethan pulled back, staring at him with a mix of surprise and distaste, Justin fucked him instead.

It wasn’t a rejection, not with Ethan babbling about how amazing he was, but Justin felt something inside himself shut down anyway.

Title: Appetizer

“We’re going to be late.”

Brian stopped sucking Justin’s cock long enough to answer. “So come already.”

Justin glared at the hand Brian had wrapped around the base of his cock. “Fuck you.”

Brian laughed around his cock just as he dropped his hand, and Justin came with a low moan.

“I hate you,” Justin grumbled, struggling to catch his breath and zip his pants since Brain was already back on his feet and opening the door.

“About time you two finished,” Debbie scolded as they took the empty seats between Michael and Lindsay. “Dinner’s been ready for fifteen minutes.”

Title: Nothing Like the Real Thing

The first time Justin came back to Pittsburgh, he was on his knees before the loft door closed, desperate to have Brian’s cock in his mouth.

It’s not like he was celibate, but no one else tasted like Brian or smelled like him. They didn’t pull his hair to get him closer before letting their hand slide down his face, cupping his jaw so gently it felt like a caress.

Brian was already hard, and the sounds he made forced Justin to press his hand against his own cock before he came right there. This was perfect; this was home.

Title: Beating the Heat
“It’s too hot to fuck.” Justin complained when Brian rubbed his dick against his thigh.

“It’s never too hot to fuck.”

Justin put his hand on Brian’s chest, letting the heat from his palm seep into his already sweaty skin.

“It might be too hot to fuck,” Brian conceded. “But only because you live in hovel on the 10th floor. Blow me instead.”

Justin sighed, “In the shower, and you jerk me off.”

“Fine, but then we’re buying an air conditioner so I can rim your ass until you beg then fuck you without either of us dying from heatstroke.”

Title: When the Mood Strikes

“What are you doing?” Hunter watched as Michael searched under the couch cushions.

“Looking for condoms.”

“Gross,” Hunter took a step back.

“Not used ones!” Michael glared at him. “The social worker for the adoption is visiting today so I have to find them all. Found them! Kitchen’s next.”

“You keep condoms in the silverware drawer?”

“You’d know if you ever set the table,” Michael complained. “With HIV you have to be prepared, and Ben’s sexy when he cooks.”

Hunter’s face drained of color as couldn’t help imagining Michael on his knees while Ben stir-fried. “I’m never eating here again.”

Title: Co-Conspirators

“Brian, I have the reports,” Ted rounded the corner only to be stopped by Cynthia.

“Shh, you’ll wake them,” Cynthia whispered, gesturing him closer.

Ted peeked into the office and saw Brian and Justin curled up together on the couch, sound asleep. “Aren’t they cute,” Ted smiled at Cynthia. “Did you get a picture?”

“Of course, but we’re saving that one for an emergency. This should get us a weekend off.” Cynthia brought up a picture of Brian enthusiastically sucking Justin off on the very same couch.

Ted gave Cynthia a high five before loading the photo as their screensaver.

Title: Not Enough Money in the World

“Ewww,” Emmett wrinkled his nose. “Smelly Steve is so”

“Smelly,” Brian finished.

“Gross,” Emmett corrected. “Seriously, when was the last time he showered?”

“The eighties, but I’d bet you’d blow him if you were drunk enough.”

“No way!”

“For a million dollars?” Michael asked.

“Maybe.”

“Please,” Brian laughed. “Who wouldn’t you blow for a million dollars?”

“Like you wouldn’t do it,” Ted interjected.

“Not for a million, but I’d rim him for ten.”

“I’d rim all of you for ten million.” Justin dropped off their order, winking at Brian before adding, “but I’ll blow you for free after my shift.”

Title: Favorite Fantasy

“What do you want?” Brian asks, his voice husky.

“I want your tongue. I’ll get on my hands and knees so you can lick me open and fuck me with your tongue. You’ll lick and suck until I am so hard I’m dying to touch myself, but I won’t.”

“You won’t stop until I’m so open and slick with your spit that you can fuck me right then, no lube, no fingers, just your cock.”

They come then, together, and there’s nothing but the sound of their ragged breathing.

“Soon.” Brian’s voice sounds distant.

“Yeah,” Justin echoes before hanging up.

Title: Perfect Sunday

Justin woke to Brian’s hard cock pressed against his ass. He turned, and still barely awake, they jerked each other off until they came with quiet grunts before fall asleep again.

Later, hungry and sticky, they dragged themselves from the bed. Sharing a lengthy shower, they washed each other, necessity giving way to desire as kisses and caresses lead to leisurely blowjobs.

They made to the kitchen long enough for coffee and whatever they could throw together for lunch before heading back to bed to pass the hours before Sunday dinner at Deb’s together, sleeping and fucking the day away.

Title: Mirror Image

Justin rushed into the loft; Michael would be there soon to pick up the final drawings for the latest issue of Rage, and he wanted to look them over one more time.

He couldn’t help lingering on the sketch of Rage rimming JT, fantasizing about the scene.

Rage was rougher than Brian, more impatient. At the same time, his power was greatest when he was fucking. Justin imagined his every touch tinged with electricity.

JT was more innocent than Justin, less experienced. Rage really was everything to him.

Imaging how JT felt; Justin began stroking himself.

Michael was always late.

Title: Family Bonding

“So, Justin,” Molly caught him leaving the bathroom. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Justin replied warily. He and Molly weren’t close, usually only seeing each other on the holidays she spent with Jennifer.

“You and Brian have been together for a long time, right.”

“Did Mom send you?” Justin interrupted. “Brian and I aren’t getting married just because it’s legal in New York.”

“Who cares.” Molly rolled her eyes. “I just wanted to know if you had any good tips on giving blowjobs.”

Justin wanted to run away, but instead he awkwardly shared everything he knew about safe sex.

Title: Just Another Night
Notes: Thanks to fun_demented for the vocabulary help!

The first time Justin blew him after the surgery, Brian thought it would be different. He nearly lost his hard-on thinking about Justin’s reaction to his fake ball once he was up close and personal.

But Justin wasn’t different, he wasn’t hesitant or careful or, God forbid, fucking reverent.

He was confident and pushy, sucking Brian’s cock like it hadn’t been months since the last time. When he finally took Brian’s balls into his mouth, Brian was so hard, so ready to come, he couldn’t remember which ball was a miracle of modern medicine and which was a Kinney original.

Title: Wagers and Winners

“Your spring collection shopping spree becomes a museum visit,” Justin said as he looked over his cards. “And I raise you two blowjobs.”

“Two public blowjobs, same night but different places,” Brian countered. “Then I fuck you with the new dildo until you come without either of us touching your cock.”

“I’ll raise you one Saturday night backroom fuck; I top. And I call.”

“Or we could forget the whole thing, and I’ll rim you right now.”

“Your hand is that bad?”

“Do you care?” Brian smirked.

Justin pretended to think about it before tossing his cards aside. “Not really.”

Title: Denial is Everything

Drew isn’t gay.

Sure he likes to fuck guys now and then, but that’s just sex. Sometimes he wants to get off without worrying about hearts and flowers or pretending it means more than it does.

And when a guy sucks your dick, he gets down to business without complaining about the taste or smell. When your coming with your eyes closed, it doesn’t matter who’s down on their knees.

When Drew starts to imagine giving blowjobs instead of receiving them, he tells himself as long as it’s just a fantasy it doesn’t really mean anything.

Then he meets Emmett.

Title: Til Death

Justin wiped his mouth and rested his head on Brian’s thigh. “Will you still love me when I’m too old to blow you?”

“Who says I love you now?” Brian teased.

Without saying anything, Justin reached for Brian’s hand, tapping their rings together.

Sighing dramatically, Brian held on to Justin’s hand when he started to let go. “When you’re too old to blow me, I’ll be too old to get it up.”

Justin smiled, hearing everything Brian didn’t say. “Don’t worry, I’ll still love you.”

“Shut up and roll over so I can fuck you while we’re both still young.”

Title: Olympic Dreams

“So if sex were an Olympic sport?” Ted wondered as Debbie walked by decked out in Team USA gear.

“I would dominate the fellatio competition,” Emmett said confidently.

“Knee pads optional?” Brian asked with a smirk.

“Teddy gives a world class hand job,” Emmett continued. “How about you, Brian?”

Before Brian could answer, Justin jumped in. “Rimming. There’d be no completion.”

“There never is,” Brian boasted. “What about you and the professor?”

“Marathon,” Michael blushed.

“Nice,” Brian drawled. “All that meditation must pay off. You in, Justin?”

“Gold in the all-around,” Justin stood, pulling Brian with him. “Time for practice.”

Title: On the Edge

Justin’s hands grip the sheets as he holds himself up. His cock aches, heavy and full, but he doesn’t reach for it.

Brian’s tongue is warm and wet as it bathes his hole, stroking, caressing and finally pushing inside.

Moaning, Justin tries to push back, wanting more, but Brian holds him still.

“Ready?” Brian asks, his breath teasing Justin’s sensitive hole, making him shiver.

Justin nods, not trusting himself to speak. The blunt pressure of a dildo replaces Brian’s tongue.

Brian twists it, pressing it inside, filling him. The he takes Justin’s cock into his mouth, swallowing as Justin comes.

Cuddle Day 2012 Ficlet

2012-06-26T01:14:47Z

Brushes a very thick layer of dust of my journal. If anyone is still out there, I have a little ficlet I wrote for my favorite holiday, Cuddle Day. This year's theme was public cuddling.

This is set S3 shortly after Brian and Justin get back together. I was inspired by xie_xie_xie's post about our Golden Age of fandom to revisit mine.

xie_xie_xie was also kind enough to beta for me.

Justin tipped his head back and smiled. “Stockwell’s going to flip when he sees the new posters.”

They were both a little drunk, and his head hit Brian’s shoulder harder than he intended. Brian shifted until his back rested against the bar, letting it take some of their combined weight. He leaned down and, in a voice a little too loud to be considered a whisper, said, “Shh, no one’s supposed to know.”

Justin’s hair tickled his nose, and he went to blow it away, but when he breathed in, he could smell it. It was. . . He closed his eyes, resting his cheek against Justin’s hair and inhaled again. The scent was so familiar; he couldn’t believe he’d forgotten it. He toyed with a few stray strands, wrapping them around his fingers, on the pretense of moving them away from his face.

Justin made a soft sound in his throat, turning just enough to graze a kiss along Brian’s jaw. “You have a secret identity now. Just like Rage. My superhero.” He laughed as he said it, but his eyes were serious.

Brian shook his head, opening his mouth to argue, but thought better of it. Stealing the bottle Justin still held loosely, Brian finished off the beer and set it down with a thunk on the bar. He let his hand drop to Justin’s hip, pulling him closer, before pushing up under the edge of his jacket and stroking along his spine.

Justin arched into his touch, kissing the edge of his jaw again before resting his head fully on Brian’s shoulder. They should go; it was late even by Liberty Avenue standards, Babylon already beginning to empty out, and Brian knew the shit would hit the fan first thing tomorrow morning. He leaned down to nudge Justin, to tell him they were leaving. But he didn’t.

Instead, his mouth grazed Justin’s ear in an almost-kiss. Justin shivered and pressed against him, his hair tickling Brian’s nose again. Brian decided he wasn’t in hurry to go anywhere. He traced the line of Justin’s neck with his fingers, kissed the top of his head, then his temple, gliding his lips against his hair, and took a deep breath.

Writing for Queensland Flood Relief

2011-01-17T15:06:01Z

I put myself up for auction to help raise money for the Queensland Flood relief HERE. I am offering QAF fic and drabbles.

There are many wonderful authors in several fandoms also offering fic so I'm sure you can find something to your liking.

QAF Fic: The Good Kind of Crazy

2011-01-11T23:53:04Z

Title: The Good Kind of Crazy
Rating: PG
Summary: Gus and JR always thought their family was crazy. Sometimes they were right.
Notes: Written for kari77 for the 2010 qaf_giftxchnge. Huge thanks to my beta fun_demented. Any remaining mistakes are mine.

JR knows her family is different because her moms explain it to her over and over again before she starts school. She doesn’t realize that some people think different is bad until halfway through grade one.

Melanie comes to pick her up from Dana’s birthday party, and while she is talking to Dana’s mom, Lizzie asks who she is.

“That’s my mom,” JR tells her.

“I thought your mom was the blonde lady who brought cupcakes for Halloween?” Lizzie scrunches up her nose, staring at Melanie.

“That’s my other mom.”

“Oh,” Lizzie nods. “Which one is your real mom, and which one is married to your dad?

Now JR is confused. “They’re both my real mom, and Uncle Ben is married to Daddy.”

“My Uncle Josh married some guy named Alex, but Mommy wouldn’t let us go to the wedding. I cried because I wanted to be the flower girl, and Uncle Josh cried too.”

“That’s not fair. It would be fun to throw flowers.” JR would be really mad if she couldn’t be a flower girl.

“I know, but Mommy said just cause it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s real. She says Uncle Josh can’t come over anymore, and we have to pray for him real hard. But she won’t tell me why.”

JR doesn’t say anything, but her stomach is starting to hurt, and she wants to leave before something bad happens.

“Jenny, I’m gonna pray for your moms, but I won’t tell Mommy about them. OK?”

Lizzie looks a little scared too, like she knows something bad could happen so JR squeezes her hand, then runs over to Melanie and tells her she is ready to leave. She doesn’t want to be there when Lizzie’s mommy picks her up.

Just before bed, JR sneaks into Gus’s room. He’s playing on the computer so she sits on his bed until he notices her.

“What do you want, pest?” he finally asks.

“Do you think we need to pray for Mom and Mommy?” she asks quietly.

“I guess you can if you want,” Gus shrugs. They aren’t very religious, and Gus only thinks about praying at the holidays or if someone gets sick.

“Lizzie said she was going to pray for them because that’s what her mommy would say, but I don’t know understand.”

“She’s probably a bigot, and that means we don’t have to listen to her.” Gus sounds just like Melanie and that makes him feel important. “Don’t tell the moms about her or they’ll just get all weird and protective.”

“OK, thanks.” JR skips off to her room, feeling much better. If Gus isn’t worried, then neither is she.

When Gus is eight, he figures out the easiest way to get something he wants is to tell his mom he wants to live with his dad.

When he wants a computer for his bedroom, his moms tell him no. He’s so mad because they are always busy working or paying bills or something else boring, and he never gets a turn on the computer. They aren’t even listening to him so he yells real loud.

“Dad would buy me one. I want to go live with him.”

They send him to his room, but a week later he gets a new computer. So he says it again when he wants to spend the night at Bobby’s house even though he hasn’t cleaned his room, and it works then too.

Gus doesn’t want to live with his dad, and he knows his moms wouldn’t let him, but he can’t help himself. Sometimes when he hears his moms fighting about it at night, he promises himself he’ll never to say it again. But the next time he really wants something, it just pops out of his mouth.

One night, they’re supposed to go to his favorite restaurant, the one with the cool game room, but his mom gets home late and says they can’t go.

“No, no, no!” Gus shouts. “You promised we could go. It’s not fair.”

“I’m sorry, Gus, but there’s not enough time. Maybe we can go this weekend,” Lindsay tries to reason with him.

“That’s not fair. You said tonight. We have to go.”

“That’s enough. Go play, and I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”

“NO! I hate it here. I miss Pittsburgh, and I’m going back there to live with my dad. I’m not staying here with you mean people!” Gus storms to his room and waits, but no one follows him.

Gus sits on his bed for a long time, waiting for someone to come and tell him it’s time to go. Finally he gets bored and starts playing with his action figures.

Melanie comes in and sits on his bed. “We have to talk.”

“Are we leaving now?”

“We aren’t going anywhere. Come sit down.”

Gus is about to start complaining, but before he can say anything, his mom gives him this look, and he sits.

“Gus, do you want to go live your father? Tell me the truth.”

Gus just shakes his head.

Melanie sighs. “That’s what I thought. Well, young man, we have a problem. Part of this is your mom’s and my fault for giving in to you, but that’s not going to happen anymore. Do you understand?”

Gus doesn’t really understands, but he nods anyway.

“From now on, you will not use living with your father as a bargaining tool. It hurts your mom’s feelings and mine too. We try very hard to make a nice home for you and your sister. It’s not perfect, but it’s not supposed to be. You have to live with the bad parts as well as the good. If you try to use your father as a get out of jail card, you’ll be grounded for a week. Got it?”

“I’m going to jail?” Gus is starting to get really scared.

Melanie laughs and hugs him. “No, but you’ll be in big trouble if you keep making Lindsay cry. You and I are going to make a deal. If someday, you decide you actually want to live with you father, you come tell me, and I will make it happen. But you have to be sure. Until then, no more threats. Find a better way to argue your point.”

“I promise,” Gus whispers because thinking about making his mom cry makes him want to cry. He holds on to Melanie tightly. “I love you, Mom,” he adds.

“I love you too. Now go apologize to your mom before dinner, and you’d better eat all your vegetables.”

Melanie shoes him out the door, and he runs out to find his mom. He can’t help wishing he’d asked for a new skateboard before he got busted.

Maple always sleeps on JR’s bed. Her moms say it’s because when JR was three and decided she was too old for naps, they would convince her to rest on her bed with Maple, and the sound of Maple purring would put her to sleep. JR doesn’t remember when they got Maple, but she’s heard the story about how Maple showed up at their house one day and followed them in like she’d always lived there so many times it feels like a memory.

JR tells Maple all her secrets, even the ones she can’t tell Gus. And Maple is never too busy to play with her. When JR is ten, Maple dies one week before she flies to Pittsburgh to spend the summer with her Dad and Uncle Ben.

When she gets off the plane, she flings herself at her father, crying about how much she misses Maple. Michael drives to the nearest pet store and promises to buy her a new kitten or a puppy or even a pony if she’ll just stop crying.

JR takes one look at the kittens and starts crying harder because Maple was a stray and that means she didn’t have anyone to love her when she was kitten. By the time Michael realizes this is a really bad idea and gets her back in the car, he’s crying a little too.

When they stop at the diner, Debbie smothers JR with too-tight hugs and noisy kisses. Michael tells her about the pet store so she smacks him on the side of the head and tells him to be “a little more fucking sensitive.” Then she tells JR she has a ceramic cat that looks just like Maple, and JR can keep it in her room.

Michael rolls his eyes, and wonders loudly where he would have learned sensitivity. JR pushes her milkshake away and asks if they can go home.

Dinner is quiet except for Michael’s forced cheer. Ben convinces him to leave JR alone for a while, and she watches TV while they clean the kitchen. They join her for a few episodes of a Disney show that makes both of them cringe, but at least JR is smiling.

Ben decides it’s a good time to introduce her to Madeleine L’Engle and reads her the first two chapters of “A Wrinkle in Time” before bed. Then he tells her about his first pet, and talks a little bit about Maple. She tears up but doesn’t cry, and he kisses her goodnight, feeling a little hopeful.

JR calls to him just before he turns out the light. “Uncle Ben, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, honey.” He sits on the side of the bed and braces himself for questions about what cats do in heaven.

“Would it be okay if I called you Dad?”

Ben doesn’t answer right away because it feels like his whole chest has cracked open, and nothing in his life has prepared him for this. “I would love that, JR. As long as it’s alright with your dad.” Ben struggles to keep his voice from shaking.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Michael runs in from the hallway where he was listening to Ben read to JR. “It is very alright with me.”

They all hug, and Ben and Michael know it is going to be a wonderful summer.

When Gus is older, he realizes that he learned most of what he knows about love the summer he is eleven. Normally, JR spends all of July and August in Pittsburgh, and Gus goes for two weeks in August. The first week his dad takes him on vacation, usually to New York, at first because Justin lives there and can only come back to Pittsburgh with them for a week, and later because it becomes a tradition.

That year, his moms send him to Pittsburgh a week after JR leaves because they want to spend time together. Gus knows they are lying because they’ve been fighting for months, and he thinks one of his moms is sleeping on the couch. He tries to convince them to let him stay because he is afraid if he leaves they will have no reason to talk to each other, and he’ll come home to find out they’ve broken up.

For the first three weeks, he stays at Uncle Michael and Ben’s in Hunter’s old room because his dad has to work extra to get the two weeks off he spends with Gus. Everyone thinks Gus is upset because he can’t stay with his dad, and Gus lets them think that because JR is only seven and totally clueless. If he tells Michael or Ben about his moms, they might say something in front of JR. Gus is the man of his family, and he has to protect his sister.

He calls home every night when both his moms should be home. Sometimes one of them is out, and he can’t sleep those nights wondering what it will be like if his moms break up. Jeff’s parents got divorced last year, and he says his mom cries all the time, and he never sees his dad.

The weekend before they go to New York, Gus goes to stay at the loft. He can’t get a hold of either of his moms that night, and he’s cranky the next morning.

Finally, Brian can’t take it any more. “Gus, what is your problem?”

Gus just shakes his head.

“Look if this about my working, I told you I was sorry. And I know you had a good time with Michael and Ben so what’s going on?”

Gus stares at the ground, but his dad doesn’t go away; he stands there waiting for Gus to answer. Without looking up, Gus finally says, “I don’t want my moms to get divorced.”

His dad mutters something under his breath that sounds like, “Jesus, Lindsay, I thought you said you were being discreet.” Then he sits down next to Gus.

“Your moms aren’t getting divorced, Gus.”

“Then why are they fighting, and why did they send me here early?”

“The thing is,” Brian looks away then turns his attention back to Gus. “Loving someone isn’t easy. Sometimes you need a break, but it’s hard to find away to do that. Your moms just need some time to remember why they love each other.”

“What if they don’t remember?” Gus chews on his bottom lip.

“They will. Your moms have been together for a long time; they love each other and you and JR. Everything will work out.”

Gus wants to believe his dad. He sounds so sure, but his dad hasn’t heard them fighting. And what did his dad know about marriage? “Is that why you and Justin aren’t married? Because it’s too hard?”

Brian laughs. “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that for a few more years. Marriage means different things to different people. Most people, like your moms, think marriage is a good thing, and it is important to them to be married. I grew up thinking marriage made people unhappy so I never wanted to be married. Justin understands that, and neither of us feel like we have to be married.”

“But you love each other?”

Brian clears his throat. “Yes, we do. And so do your moms. So stop worrying, okay.”

Gus nods. His dad has never lied to him before so maybe he’s right.

Later that same summer, everyone’s at Debbie’s for a barbeque. Gus isn’t paying much attention to what everyone is talking about until Emmett starts telling a funny story about a wedding he’s planning.

“And I told her that was almost as tacky as being deflowered on your prom night.”

Gus knows that’s supposed to be funny, but no one laughs. Instead everyone gets really quiet until JR asks loudly, “Why is everyone staring at Justin?”

“They’re not honey.” Debbie interrupts quickly. “They’re just waiting for me to get off my but and get dessert. Why don’t you come help me?” Debbie stands up and hustles JR into the kitchen.

Emmett leans across the table, “I’m sorry, Justin. That was insensitive.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.”

Gus thinks Justin looks sad, but before he can say anything Ben starts talking about Hunter’s new girlfriend. When Debbie brings out the dessert, Gus notices his dad goes off to smoke, and Justin doesn’t finish his cake. Gus watches them both and starts thinking about things he’s overheard when his moms forget he’s in the room.

When they get back to the loft, he asks, “Dad, did something bad happen at Justin’s prom?”

Brian throws up his hands and walks into the kitchen. “Justin, this is all you. There’s no way I’m telling this story.”

“Thanks, Brian.” Justin shoots Brian a helpless look before sitting down at the table with Gus. “Tell me what you already know.”

“Nothing really.” Gus scrunches up his forehead and thinks about it. “I know you got hurt a long time ago, and that’s why your hand doesn’t always work. And I heard people mention your prom, but that’s all.”

“Well, when I was in school, there was another boy who used to give me a hard time.”

“A bully?” Gus interjects.

“Yes, he called me names, harassed me. We even got into a fight once.”

“He wasn’t a bully. He was a fucking closet case.” Brian yells from the kitchen.

“What your father means, Gus,” Justin gestures for Brian to be quiet. “Is that he may have been attracted to boys, but because he was ashamed, he picked on me.”

“That’s stupid.”

“I know,” Justin laughs. “But that’s how he acted. The night of the prom, your father surprised me by showing up, and we danced together. This made the other boy angry, and when we left, he followed us into the garage. He hit me in the head with a baseball bat. Your father stopped him from hitting me again, but he’d already hit me hard enough to cause permanent damage.”

Gus doesn’t know what to say; he wishes he hadn’t asked. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.” Justin smiles sadly and pats his hand. “But it was a long time ago, and I don’t think about it anymore.”

“Was it really cool dancing with my dad?” Gus wants to think about something happy.

“I don’t know. Because of the way he hit me, I can’t remember any of that.”

“Justin,” Brian’s voice is rough.

When Gus looks at his dad he can’t tell if he’s sad or angry or both.

“Brian, it’s ok.” Justin and his dad look at each other for a long time before Justin turns back to him. “Your father told me once it was ridiculously romantic.”

“It was.” Brian moves to stand behind Justin, putting his hands on his shoulder. “The music started, and I led you out onto the dance floor. We were amazing together, and your smile lit up the whole room. Everyone watched us; they couldn’t look away.”

Gus watches his father reach for Justin. They stand close together, and he thinks he hears his dad humming. They start dancing slowly, the faces close together. As they move around the room, his dad spins Justin around and makes him laugh. Gus almost claps, but he realizes they’re only looking at each other so he sneaks into the living room, turns the TV on real quiet and leaves them alone.

JR hates it when people ask who her real mother is. When she tries to explain her family doesn’t think like that, they just get impatient and demand to know who she’s related to. Sometimes she tells people she is adopted because it feels better than admitting Lindsay isn’t her mother.

Gus tells her that’s stupid, but it’s easy for him. Everyone knows Gus is going to be a lawyer from the time he starts school. He’s always bartering and arguing and looking for ways around the rules. Plus, he loves standing up for other people. JR watches him talk to Melanie about the law, both of them so intent, and knows why no one would question him if he says Melanie is his real mother the way they do when she lies and said Lindsay is her real mom. She wishes she could be tall and blonde and beautiful like Lindsay. Then people would believe her, but she looks just like Melanie.

JR decides she’ll be an artist so she and Lindsay will have something special in common just like Gus and Melanie. The only problem is JR didn’t really like art. She can’t draw, sculpting is too messy, and she even gets bored taking pictures. But for years she tells everyone she’s going to be an artist just like her mother. She loves the way her moms get the prettiest smiles on their faces every time they hear her say it.

In grade eight, her school offers a special advanced arts program. Of course, JR signs up, but all summer she’s sick just thinking about going back to school. The other kids in the class will be there because they love art, and when they see how untalented she is, they’ll laugh. Most of all, she knows her mom is going to find out the truth. She’ll never be able to fake her way through the entire school year.

She spends the summer in Pittsburgh desperately trying to develop some kind of talent, but everything she tries is a disaster. Her dads think she spends hours on the computer emailing her friends, but she’s really trying to learn how to draw or paint or something. Nothing goes right especially her very bad attempt at carving.

The week before school starts, her mom comes into her room with a box of special art supplies. JR takes one look at it and bursts into tears. “I can’t do it, Mom. I just can’t. I wanted to be like you, but no matter how hard I try, I don’t want to be an artist.”

Lindsay holds her while she cries then smoothes her hair back and kisses her forehead. “Is that what all this has been about? Did you think I wanted you to be like me? Honey, I want you to be whatever makes you happy.”

“But Gus is going to be a lawyer like Mom, and that gives them something special together. I wanted us to have something special too.” JR starts to tell her about wanting people to know she’s her real daughter, but she is afraid it will make her mom cry so she stops herself.

“Do you think you need something special with me because Melanie is your biological mom, and I’m not? JR, I love you the same as I love your brother just like Melanie loves you both too. Biology doesn’t matter.”

And it all comes out in a rush. “It doesn’t matter to us, but people always ask. And they don’t ask Gus because he looks like you, but he acts just like Mom so they think he could belong to either of you. I wanted something like that for me too because I tell people your both my real mom, but nobody understands.”

“But do you understand, JR? Really and truly?” Her mom cradles her face and looked into her eyes.

JR nods; she’s too choked up to speak.

“Then don’t worry about ‘people.’ What holds us together isn’t DNA or our jobs. It’s love and memories, and all those wonderful things that no one else can see. You don’t have to look like me or paint like me to be my daughter. You just are. And who knows, maybe Gus will surprise us all and become a deep sea diver or a mushroom farmer.”

JR laughs and hugs her mom tightly.

When Gus is fourteen, he hates the world. No one understands him or cares about what he wants. JR is constantly bugging him and coming into his room and touching his stuff. His moms don’t let him do anything; he’s always fighting with Melanie and ignoring Lindsay.

One day, he finally has enough; he going to be grounded for making JR cry, again. He is in the middle of trying to make his moms see it isn’t his fault when he can’t do it any more. He stops yelling and calmly says, “I want to live with my dad.”

“No,” Lindsay starts to protest, her eyes tearing up.

Melanie puts a hand on her arm. “Okay,” she tells Gus. “Come on Linds, we need to talk to Brian.”

Dinner is quiet; nobody has anything to say, but just before bed, his mom comes in his room.

“Alright, Gus, this how it is going to work. You’ll go to Pittsburgh in July with JR, and then you’ll stay when she comes back. You will come home for Christmas, spring break, and summer vacation from now on. Do you understand?”

Gus nods.

“Here’s the important part. This is happening because I promised you that if you seriously asked to live with your father, I would make it happen. Your mother and I,” Melanie presses her lips together and looks away. “We don’t want this. We love you, and we want you home with us.”

Gus hangs his head. He wants to go, but he hates seeing his mom so sad.

“I understand why you want to go. What I want you to understand is that you can always come home. Always.”

“Thanks, Mama,” Gus mumbles.

“Mama. You haven’t called me that since you were four.” Melanie smiles, but her lips tremble. “The other thing you have to understand is that this is a one time deal. You can’t bounce back and forth every time you get mad at one of you parents. So be sure about this.”

“I am.” Gus forces himself to meet her eyes.

“Okay.” Melanie stands up and hugs him hard. “I love you. Never forget that.”

She’s gone before he can tell her he loves her too.

Gus doesn’t fight with JR or his moms before he leaves for Pittsburgh. But the silence and sadness are worse than fighting so it’s a relief to go. The first few weeks are wonderful. He hangs out by the pool or in the game room while his dad goes to work, and Justin paints. They never bug him about staying up too late or doing his chores.

They go to New York in August like always, but Justin has to stay a few more weeks so they come back to Pittsburgh without him. His dad won’t let him stay at the house by himself all day so he has to help out at Kinnetik, or hang out at the diner if his grandma is working, or stay with Michael and Ben. It all kind of sucks, but his dad just walks away if he starts complaining.

His moms call every week, but he never knows what to say, and at least one of them always ends up crying. Sometimes Gus cries too after he hangs up, but he never tells anyone. The night before JR goes home, they have a big dinner at his grandma’s. When it’s time to go, JR cries and cries and begs him to come home. She promises never to go in his room or touch his computer again, but it’s too late.

At first, Gus is excited about going to an American school, but that ends up sucking too. The classes are either too easy or make no sense at all. The kids make fun of his accent and try to trick him into speaking French so they can laugh at him. After a few weeks, he stops going.

One night, Justin knocks on his door. “What are you doing?”

“Homework,” Gus barely looks up from his computer.

“It must be hard to figure out the homework assignment when you haven’t been to school in three days. Come on, Gus,” he continues when Gus looks up, startled. “Did you really think we wouldn’t find out?”

Gus shrugs. “School’s lame.”

“Probably,” Justin laughs. He sits on the edge of the bed across from Gus’s desk. “But that’s not the real problem. You have to go to school; it’s not even a topic for discussion.”

“Or what? You’ll kick me out?” Gus asks belligerently.

“Is that what you want?”

Gus shrugs again.

“No one is kicking you out, but you do need to decide what you want to do. Brian and I love having you here. We will never ask you to leave. But we also understand if you want to go back with your moms.”

“I wanted to leave.”

“I know. What I also know is that as much as I hated living with my parents, once I left, all I wanted to do was go home. But I couldn’t. It wasn’t because of Debbie. She was wonderful. She barely knew me, but she opened her home to me, loved me and treated me like family. But I still wanted my family even though my dad didn’t want me. If I had a choice, I would have gone home in a minute.”

Gus doesn’t know what to say so he stares at the floor.

“What I’m trying to say,” Justin starts again. “Is that you have a choice. Your moms and JR would love to have you come home. Your dad and I won’t be hurt or upset if that is what you want. Or you can stay here. Either way, you have to start going to school again. You have lots of people who love you, and all we want is for you to be happy.”

A few of the tears that have been welling in Gus’s eyes spill over. “I want to go home.”

Justin leans forward and wraps his arms around him. “I know, Gus, I know.”

Gus has only been home from university for a week when JR bursts into his room and flings herself on his bed.

“I wish my dads were like yours,” she declares with a dramatic sigh.

Gus rolls his eyes and ignores her. She loves being spoiled by her fathers so he knows she’s not serious.

“Come on, Gus, you’ve been gone for months. Can’t you at least pretend to be interested in my life.”

“JR, I was home a few months ago. And you were the one who couldn’t wait for me to start university so I wouldn’t be hanging around and embarrassing you.”

“Whatever.” Now it is JR’s turn to roll her eyes, but she continues. “I tried to talk my dads into letting me visit for just two weeks, but they said no. Daddy tried to sound all stern, but I knew he was sad. And then Dad starting talking about how much their time with me means to them, and how before they know it I’ll be an adult, and they want to enjoy me while they can.”

“So?”

“So, now I’m stuck in Pittsburgh for two months without Adam. I’ll die!”

“You know what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder,” Gus can’t resist. JR is so easy to tease.

“They only thing absence does is let Adam stare at Beth Roberts in a bikini while I’m a millions miles away. He’ll forget all about me.”

“The way you whine, you’re pretty unforgettable.” Gus easily dodges the pillow she throws at him. He’s not worried about Adam. JR likes him because he’s easy going and safe. Most likely she’ll be the one to forget about him. Privately Gus thinks JR’s next boyfriend will be a girlfriend, but he’s not telling anyone that, not even JR. In their crazy family, her bisexuality might be considered odder than his heterosexuality. “I’m sure you’ll both survive.”

“That’s easy for you to say. Are you even going to Pittsburgh? Now that you’re supposedly an adult, I guess you don’t have to.”

Gus shrugs. “Justin has a big show in New York so I might go hang out with him and Dad there for a few weeks.”

“Hey, how come you don’t call Justin dad or even uncle?” JR looks like she’s never thought about this before.

“First of all, Uncle Justin sounds kind of creepy.” They both make a face. “I don’t know. A lot of times when I visited my dad, Justin was living in New York, so I didn’t even see him as much as I saw Dad. And then, I’d always called him Justin so I never thought about it, not even when I lived with them that one summer. It’s not like they’re married or anything.”

“I’m telling Grandma you said that,” JR singsongs.

Gus shudders just a little at that threat. Their grandma still head slaps anyone who says his dad and Justin aren’t married. Of course the only person who still says that is his dad, and only when he wants to make Grandma crazy.

“Justin’s just Justin. It doesn’t matter what I call him.” Gus didn’t know how to explain it any better that that.

“Now you sound like you dad. I bet he wouldn’t make me leave Adam for two whole months. He understands about true love.” JR quickly switches the subject back to herself.

“You’ve met my father, right?” Gus laughs. “He’d die laughing if you told him about your true love. Besides you’re only fifteen; it’s not like you’re going to marry him or anything.”

“I just might. Wait and see,” JR says defiantly. “We can’t all be like you with a new girlfriend every week.”

“Don’t exaggerate. Just because I don’t declare my undying love for every girl I date. . .”

“Please,” JR interrupts. “You probably don’t even believe in love.”

Gus remembers watching his dad and Justin dance around the loft all those years ago, and he thinks about how his moms are always touching each other even when they were angry. “I just think love is worth waiting for,” he tells JR. “And until then there’s no reason I can’t have some fun.”

“You’re hopeless,” JR giggles, pulling him down on the bed next to her. “But I’m glad you’re home.”

Gus half hugs her. “Me, too.”

Gusmas Drabbles

2011-01-03T02:43:46Z

So the incredible xie_xie_xie ran a drabble event at qaf_drabbles on IJ> 37 Days of Gusmas raised money for The Trevor Project by offering a daily prompt from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day. An amazing amount of money was raised through a variety of challenges, THIS POST gives a breakdown of all the money raised.

My contribution was 41 drabbles. Included are my usual mix of pairings and ratings. I hope you find a few you will enjoy.

Title: Happy Fucking Thanksgiving
Prompt: Thanksgiving (5 Drabbles)

Justin flew in the night before Thanksgiving. Between the crowds and increased security, just navigating the airport pissed him off. Then a storm temporarily grounded all flights, and the delay lasted three times as long as his flight.

By the time he finally landed in Pittsburgh, Justin was ready to kill someone. Brian was waiting impatiently outside the security gates, but took one look at him, pulled him into the nearest bathroom and sucked him off.

While they were washing their hands, a middle aged businessman eyed them nervously before slipping Justin a twenty and gesturing to an empty stall.

“You should have considered it,” Brian teased on the way home. “It would have covered some of the ridiculous parking fee I incurred waiting for you to finally show up.”

“Bite me,” Justin shot back. “It’s not like I was the one on me knees back there.”

“Hey, before you get all indignant over being mistaken for a hustler, keep in mind the fucker thought I had to pay for it.”

Brian looked so appalled at the idea that Justin started laughing. Brian reached for his hand and squeezed, laughing with him, and the trip felt less like a disaster.

The next day, they made it to Debbie’s just in time for the annual “The Turkey Won’t Brown” crisis. While Emmett, Michael, and Debbie argued loudly over the best solution, Blake quietly stepped in, fussed with the oven temperature and some foil. He would later share an amused look with Ted over everyone’s amazement when a perfectly browned turkey emerged from the oven.

Carl stood outside the kitchen shaking his head. He poured Brian a scotch which Brian decided made up for his insistence on watching football. At least he’d finally given up discussing the game with anyone but Emmett.

Dinner was a mix of Debbie’s traditional Thanksgiving dishes and Emmett’s more creative contributions. So they had cranberry pomegranate terrine with their turkey and a choice between the turkey stuffing and a wild rice and goat cheese dressing. Somehow it worked, and no one walked away hungry.

Jennifer brought desert and a sullen Molly who sat through dinner with her arms crossed over her chest, refusing to speak expect to say she’d rather be at her boyfriend’s. Jennifer glared at her, but Debbie just rolled her eyes and piled more food on Molly’s plate. Justin found the whole thing hysterical.

After dinner Carl and Emmett fell asleep on the couch watching the late game. Michael and Ted cleared the table while talking with Ben and Blake about Blake’s psychology classes.

Debbie and Jennifer fussed over Justin until Brian couldn’t take it anymore and interrupted with the story of their airport encounter. Justin blushed when Molly finally smiled and Debbie insisted he was worth more than twenty dollars. Hunter argued that twenty was generous then offered to show Brian what a true professional was worth. They both knew he didn’t mean it, but he couldn’t resist provoking Michael’s very predictable overreaction.

Title: On the Double
Prompt: Emergency

“Well?” Brian appeared in the doorway looking impatient and pissed.

“When you told me to get my ass down to Kinnetik, I thought it was for hot office sex not because the fucking art department ate bad shrimp and didn’t finish the boards.”

“Stop complaining. Diva Pets will be here in,” Brian made a show of looking at his watch “fifty-six minutes. Are you done?”

Justin held the completed board up.

Brian eyed it critically. “Not bad. How long will it take to make the font bolder and offset the graphic?”

“Ten minutes.”

“That leaves forty-six minutes for your reward.”

Title: The Sound of Silence
Prompt: Make a wish
Notes: This one is full of angst. Sorry. Title is from the Simon and Garfunkel song

Brian didn’t believe in God or angels or anyone but himself. He hadn’t for a very long time.

But holding Justin’s bleeding body, he prayed, bargained and wished harder than he ever had before. Then he begged and pleaded, finally resorting to pathetic threats that meant nothing.

Out of words, he sat silently, straining to hear the faint sounds of Justin’s breathing. Time slowed and stretched into an eternity. Brian felt his improbable chance at happiness slipping away; Justin paying the price as Brian was judged and found wanting.

He waited, certain his final “Please, God,” fell on deaf ears.

Title:Morning Surprise
Prompt: A matter of trust

Justin woke up hard, like he always did even when he didn’t spend the night at Brian’s. Still half-asleep, he moved closer to Brian, rubbing his cock against his ass.

“You going to do something with that?” Brian asked.

Justin’s eyes flew open and his hips rocked forward. He fucked guys, lots of guys, but just the thought of fucking Brian. . . “Can I?” he asked breathlessly.

“I sure as fuck hope so.”

Brian laughed a little, pushed back against Justin’s cock and threw a condom over his shoulder. Justin caught it, so turned on he forgot all about being nervous.

Title: The Best Revenge
Prompt: Far from home

His first month in Pittsburgh, all Emmett thought about was making enough money to get to New York. He’d become a famous designer or a Tony award winning actor or something equally fabulous. Then he’d sweep into Hazelhurst in his private jet decked out in haute couture and dripping with diamonds, too busy taking calls from Liza and Barbara to answer questions about his amazing life.

But months turned into years, and he didn’t leave. He met Ted and Michael and fell in and out of love a hundred times. He wasn’t famous or rich, but he found his home.

Title: Belonging
Prompt: Hanukkah

Melanie rarely saw her family, and that was fine with her. Lindsay and the kids were all the family she needed.

She only felt alone at Hanukkah. Lindsay tried, but she didn’t understand, and the kids preferred Christmas.

The first year Hanukkah and Christmas overlapped, they arrived at Debbie’s to see a huge Menorah lighting the window opposite the Christmas tree. Debbie handed her a dreidel and bag of chocolate coins. Melanie hadn’t played in years, but soon everyone was laughing and playing, drinking wine and making up rules. Ben won the most coins, but Melanie felt like the winner.

Title: And They Fucked Happily Ever After
Prompt: A goodnight story

Justin folded his pillow in half, turned over three times and kicked off the blanket.

“What the fuck?” Brian grumbled. “Settle down and go to sleep.”

“I can’t sleep; that’s the problem.”

“What do you want me to do about it? Tell you a bedtime story?”

“Sure.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “Once upon a time, Rage was trying to sleep before a busy day of saving Gayopolis, but JT kept waking him up. Finally Rage blindfolded him, tied him to the bed and fucked him until he was exhausted.”

“Good story, but I’ll sleep better if we act it out.”

Title: On Her Own
Prompt: Tree photos

Jennifer hated raking leaves. Raking had always been Craig’s job, then, later, Justin’s. It would be a few years before she could pass the chore onto Molly so it became her responsibility. Independence had come with so many new responsibilities.

She’d loved the trees at their old house. She and Craig had carved their initials in the big oak, and later she added Justin and Molly’s names. Every Christmas, she wove lights throughout their branches, and in the summer, she sat in their shade and watched her children play.

These trees held no memories. But they had plenty of leaves.

Title: A Better Man
Prompt: Easy for you to say

“I’m breaking up with Marcus,” Emmett announced as he slid into the booth.

“It’s about time. You can do a lot better,” Ted replied.

“That’s easy for you to say. You have Blake.” Emmett sighed dramatically. “I’m going to be alone, again.”

Ted reached for Emmett’s hand. “It’s easy for me to say because I know how incredible you are, as a friend and a lover. You deserve someone who will love and appreciate you, who will cherish you. Don’t settle for less.”

Emmett saw the regret in Ted’s eyes and squeezed his hand. “Teddy, you say the sweetest things.”

Title: Necessary Sacrifice
Prompt: An accident

The first time Brian’s flight to New York was canceled due to weather, he decided to drive rather than cancel the trip. He hadn’t fucked Justin in two months, and he wasn’t going to let a little storm stop him.

An hour into the trip, he knew he’d made a mistake. Between the wind and the slick roads, he could barely control the Corvette. Several hours of white-knuckled driving later, he finally made it.

After hours spent worrying, pacing, and imagining horrific accidents, Justin went off on him instead of getting him off.

Brian sold the Corvette the next morning.

Title: Santa's Mistake
Prompt: Xylophone picture

JR banged happily away on the xylophone “Santa” had brought her.

“You know Debbie,” Melanie yelled over the noise. “I was thinking we should leave some toys here for when she visits.”

“Whatever you say, honey.” Debbie nodded distractedly and went back to harmonizing with JR’s maracas.

“But Mel, look how much she loves it. You wouldn’t want to leave it behind.” Brian smiled innocently. “She really should practice every day.”

Melanie rubbed her eyes and flipped him off. “It that thing makes it back to Canada, Gus is bringing a drum set the next time he stays with you.”

Title: Stepping In
Prompt: Red roses

The flowers were a bright splash of red against the snow, and Debbie smiled when she saw them.

“I guess Rodney’s been here. He’s coming to dinner on Christmas Eve; I insisted. You don’t have to worry about him, little brother. I’ll always take care of him. Not as good as you of course, but I do my best. He’s says my braciola is better than yours. I know he’s lying, but he means well.”

Debbie laughed; it was forced, but it was the best she could do.

“He’s a good man, Vic. I wish you’d had more time together.”

Title: First Christmas
Prompt: Teddy bear picture

Michael couldn’t help going overboard during Hunter’s first Christmas with them. Even though Hunter didn’t like to talk about his past, Michael knew Christmas had never been a magical time for him. His heart broke when Hunter admitted he knew stopped believing in Santa Claus the year the only thing he asked for was a teddy bear, and he didn’t even get that.

Michael glanced nervously from huge pile of presents under the tree to the teddy bear stuffed in Hunter’s stocking. “He’s going to hate it, isn’t he?”

Ben wrapped his arms around Michael. “We’ll blame it on Santa.”

Title: Checking It Twice
Prompt: Shopping

Jennifer couldn’t stand the thought of going to one more store, but she still needed a present for Brian. He was impossible to buy for. She was tired of spending a fortune on ties she could never be sure he liked, and even Brian only needed so many bottles of scotch.

Then she remembered a sketchbook of Justin’s Debbie had given her. Jennifer only looked through it a few times. Justin’s art had changed so much; it hurt to think about what could have been.

She framed a sketch of Brian reading, so obviously drawn with love. It was perfect.

Title: Debbie's Man
Prompt: Mistletoe

Carl was rather fond of the mistletoe over their bed. Not that he and Debbie needed any encouragement; they might be past their prime, but they went at it like newlyweds.

He loved the extra kisses he got saying goodbye under the mistletoe in the doorway.

It was the mistletoe in the kitchen he worried about since everyone ended up crowded in Debbie’s kitchen. His first kiss from Michael was awkward, but Carl took in stride. By New Year’s, while Ted froze in fear standing under the mistletoe with him, Carl just rolled his eyes and planted one on him.

Title: Visions of Sugarplums
Prompt: Angel Wings

Babylon was a winter wonderland. Glittery snow fell from the ceiling, dusting the bar and dance floor. Angels, halos shining and feathers from their wings trailing through the snow, moved through the crowd passing out Santa hats and jingle bells. Mistletoe hung every few feet, alternating with giant ornaments. White lights on frosted Christmas trees pulsed in time to the holiday dance tunes blaring from the speakers.

“Holy shit,” Justin breathed when they walked in. “I know you gave Emmett carte blanche, but wow.”

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose, headache already forming. “What the fuck was I thinking?”

Title: Taste Test
Prompt: Finger Food

“Mmmm,” Drew took the mushroom from Emmett, briefly sucking the tips of his fingers into his mouth as well.

“Do you like it?” Emmett asked.

“Delicious,” Drew’s eyes never left Emmett’s face. “What’s in the filling, again?”

“Artichokes, Parmesan and Asiago cheese. You don’t think there was too much garlic?”

“Maybe I should try another one?” Drew guided Emmett’s hand to his mouth. He swept the mushroom into his mouth then slowly licked the melted butter from Emmett’s fingers.

Emmett swallowed hard. “Well?”

“Why don’t you taste for yourself,” Drew said with a wink before leaning in and kissing Emmett.

Title: Coming Home
Prompt: Home for the holidays

“Debbie threatened my remaining ball if I didn’t find out when you’re coming home for Christmas. Apparently she’s planning a tree trimming party.”

“I’m not coming back for Christmas,” Justin answered after a long silence.

“Okay,” Brian dragged the word out, but didn’t ask for an explanation. “But you have to tell her.”

“Brian,” Justin said with a mix of exasperation and amusement. “You’re supposed to ask why.”

“Why?” Brian rolled his eyes.

“Because I’m not leaving after Thanksgiving.”

“Debbie will be thrilled to hear that,” Brian fought to keep his voice even.

“She better not be the only one.”

Title: Fun and Games
Prompt: Batteries not included

Brian pushed the didlo the rest of the way in and sat back, admiring the way it looked, stetching Justin’s hole, filling him. Brian watched as Justin’s skin flushed, and he arched his back, tugging unconsciously at his bonds while adjusting to the feel of the dildo.

“Fucking move it,” Justin ground out when Brian made no move to touch him.

Brian smiled and began lazily stroking his own cock. “Sorry, Sunshine, I’m a little busy right now. Next time request one that vibrates if you’re going to be so impatient.”

“Next time, your ass is mine.”

Brian just laughed.

Title: Do Unto Others
Prompt: Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Hunter rushed from the diner to the bus stop. He couldn’t believe how cold it had gotten since his shift start eight hours ago.

He was just about to enter the shelter when a teenage boy stepped close to him.

“Can I warm you up while you wait?” he leered.

“Not interested.” Hunter turned away, but he couldn’t ignore how thin the hustler was, how he was shivering with only a worn sweatshirt on.

“Here take this,” Hunter shrugged off his jacket, leaving his tips in the pocket. The bus would be there soon, and Ben had an extra coat.

Title: Sounds of the Season
Prompt: A Christmas Carol

Brian was in the middle of bitching out the moron who thought “cute and cuddly” was an acceptable approach to advertising when he heard it.

The faint sound of bells had Brian shaking his head wondering if he was more hung over than he realized. Then he heard voices singing a horribly off-key version of “Jingle Bells.”

As the singing got louder, Brian realized the majority of Kinnetik’s staff was walking through the hallway in Santa hats fucking caroling.

“Cynthia!” Brian bellowed into the intercom as “Jingle Bells” became “Sleigh Ride.”

No answer, but Cynthia waved when she passed by.

Title: A New Tradition
Prompt: What have you done today to feel proud

Emmett flipped the switch and watched the tree light up. “Ta Da! What do you think?” he asked eagerly.

Debbie stared at the tree, tears shining in her eyes.

She’d listen to him agonize over whether to choose a real tree or a winter white artificial, ad patiently debated the merits of art deco versus Renaissance ornament schemes.

Then one day she showed up at his condo with pesto penne and several boxes. “These are some of Vic’s ornaments,” she explained. “We both have so many; I know he’d love for you use them.”

Debbie squeezed his hand. “It’s perfect.”

Title: Moving Forward
Prompt: University of Pittsburgh photo

“They want an answer tomorrow. Am I saying yes?”

“I don’t know.” Ben seemed excited, but Michael wasn’t sure. “You love Carnegie Mellon.”

“I do, but this is a great opportunity. Carnegie Mellon’s a liberal school, but some of the administration isn’t. They’ve made it clear I won’t be advancing no matter how popular my classes are.”

“You didn’t tell me that!” Michael interrupted angrily.

“It doesn’t matter,” Ben said calmly. “University of Pittsburgh is a good school, and their giving me a lot of latitude in designing my curriculum.”

“Dean Bruckner,” Michael smiled. “I like the sound of that.”

Title: Unwelcome Reminder
Prompt: Fathers and Sons

“Kinney,” Brian grabbed the phone and kept working.

“Brian.”

“Mother,” Brian winced.

“There will be a mass for your father on Sunday. I thought you might want to come.”

“Little late for that. He’s been in the ground for over ten years.”

“Don’t be vulgar,” Joan snapped. “The mass is to commemorate his life. Claire and the boys will be there.”

“I know you’re dunk, but you must be high as well,” Brian laughed. “There’s not a damn thing about dear old Dad’s life worth commemorating except perhaps his death.”

The only response was the sound of the dial tone.

Title: Surprise!
Prompt: A phone call

“I’m getting married!” Daphne practically shrieked over the phone.

“Wow, Daph. That’s”

“Sudden? Crazy? Romantic?” Daphne interrupted. “I know! And it’s only been six months, but I’m sure, positively, completely sure.”

“I was going to say wonderful,” Justin spoke quickly when Daphne paused to breathe.

“Oh,” Daphne sounded disappointed. “Do you mind if I practice the rest of my speech? I don’t think my parents will take it so well.”

“Ummm, Daphne,” Justin stopped her several minutes later. “You might want to leave out the part about multiple orgasms.”

“Just wanted to make sure you were still listening,” Daphne giggled.

Title: Distant Dawn
Prompt: Solstice

“You’re quiet tonight.” Ted said as he came to stand behind Blake.

Blake leaned back against Ted but didn’t turn away from the window. “It’s the longest night of the year. All the darkness, the cold, it brings back memories.

Feeling Blake shiver, Ted wrapped his arms around him. “I’ve been told Solstice is also a time of renewal, a new beginning. So let’s light a fire and make some new memories.”

Blake laughed and turned around to kiss Ted. “I love you even when you’re corny. You start the fire, and I’ll make hot chocolate.”

“Don’t forget the marshmallows!”

Title: First of Many
Prompt: A moment of truth

“Well? What do you think?” Melanie asked.

“I’m not sure.” Lindsay cocked her head to the left. “Step closer to the light.”

Melanie sighed, but did as Lindsay asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Lindsay said with a chuckle. “It’s definitely grey.”

“God damn it.” Melanie yanked out the offending strand of hair. “Fuck, that hurt. The worst part is I can’t even blame Brian.”

“If it makes you feel any better, Justin told me Brian found his first six months ago.”

“Serves him right,” Melanie grumbled. “I wonder if it was on his head.”

“Mel!” Lindsay gasped before dissolving into uncontrollable laughter.

Title: No Exactly a Secret
Prompt: Unexpected Guests

“Mother Taylor! What a surprise,” Brian’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“Brian, I heard Justin was in town so I thought”

“Jennifer,” Debbie waved from the couch where she and Daphne had Justin cornered. “Justin was just telling us about all the celebrities he’s seen.”

“Would you like a drink?”

Jennifer shook her head, but Brian continued to the bar. “More for me.”

Later, Justin snuck away to join Brian and made a desperate grab for his drink.

Brian snatched it away. “You’re on your own. The next time you’re here for a weekend visit, don’t stop at the fucking diner.”

Title: The Adult Version
Prompt: Christmas Eve

“Debbie wants to know if we’re stopping by on Christmas Eve,” Justin yelled over the shower.

“Are you kidding?” Brian turned off the water and stepped out. “We have Christmas morning at Mikey’s with the munchers, the kids and Debbie, then lunch at your mother’s, followed by dinner at Debbie’s with every fag she can fit in her house. If I’m going to survive that, we’re spending every minute of Christmas Eve fucking and getting drunk.”

“So we’re not going to Midnight Mass?” Justin smirked.

“The only worship I plan to take part in involves my cock and your ass.”

Title: Sleeping In
Prompt: Christmas Day

“Mel, wake up,” Lindsay shook her wife.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s Christmas.”

“Oh, fuck,” Melanie sat up. “Did we forget the stockings or to eat Santa’s cookies?”

When Lindsay didn’t say anything, Melanie rubbed her eyes and realized it was light out. “Where the fuck are the kids? They didn’t sneak down and open their gifts, did they?”

“No.” Lindsay stopped Melanie before she could get up. “I checked; they’re still sleeping.”

“Oh, good.” Melanie snuggled under the blankets and reached for Lindsay. “Go back to sleep.”

Lindsay rested her head on Melanie’s chest and sighed, “They’re not babies any more.”

Title: There’s Big Money in Greeting Cards
Prompt: Kwanzaa

“How come they didn’t have Kwanzaa when we were kids?” Michael asked when a commercial filled with several celebrities offering a variety of holiday wishes came on.

“They did.”

“No, they didn’t,” Michael insisted. “Someone invented it a few years ago.”

“Mikey,” Brian looked at him like he was crazy. “No one ‘invented’ Kwanzaa.”

“So how come I never heard of it.”

“Because it was just another obscure holiday taking up space on your calendar until some fucking brilliant ad executive realized it was a goldmine of untapped marketing potential.”

“You mean like Sweetest Day?”

“Never underestimate the niche markets.”

Title: It Never Gets Easier
Prompt: Words are cheap

“Three fucking years,” Debbie stared at the marker and blinked back tears.

“Every day, Vic, every day I miss you and love you, and I’ll never stop being sorry for the things I said.”

Debbie wiped her eyes. “You to know I’m taking care of Rodney and the guys at Grassi House, don’t you? And because you were right about what I needed, I’m loving Carl like I was so afraid to before and trying to let Michael have his own life. I do it for both of us because all the ‘I’m sorry’s in the world don’t matter now.”

Title: Just One Stop
Prompt: Photo of Pittsburgh

Brian pressed his forehead against the window as the plane began its descent. He never thought he’d be so happy to see fucking Pittsburgh.

After days of personal indignities and medical procedures, he’d wanted to run from John Hopkins, but all he could manage was a slow walk. It had taken every bit of his pride just to keep from limping.

Finally, he was home. He wished he’d taken a cab to the airport because he didn’t have the energy to drive. All he wanted was a drink and his bed.

But first there was someone he needed to see.

Title: Wisdom Comes Cheap
Prompt: Fortune Cookies

“Come on Emmet, read it,” Michael urged.

“And don’t forget ‘in bed,’” Ted added.

“That’s a stupid tradition,” Emmett made a face. “What happens when you get ‘Before success comes many failures,’ or ‘If at first you don’t succeed?’”

“If the fortune cookie fits,” Brian smirked.

Emmett threw his cookie at him, but then smiled. “Ohhh, maybe there is something to this. ‘Your talents are great and varied,’” he read.

“Hand it over, Honeycutt. That one’s mine.”

“Sorry, Brian, looks like you stuck with,” Emmett grabbed Brian’s fortune and read it. “‘You walk your path alone.’”

“In bed,” everyone chorused.

Title: Worth the Price
Prompt: “It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.” ` William Thomas

Ted accepted the sparkling cider Debbie handed him as midnight approached. He took a sip and made a face.

“Too sweet?” Blake asked, sipping his own cider.

“It’s not champagne I miss; it’s the choice,” Ted sighed.

“You still have a choice, Ted, and you make the right one every day you stay clean.”

“Do you ever stop wishing it never happened?”

“Not really.” Blake never lied to Ted. “But I love our life and who I am today. Every choice brought me here, and while it’s not the journey I would have chosen, I’m pretty happy with the destination.”

Title: Ringing in the New Year
Prompt: New Year’s Eve

“You could be in Times Square right now.”

“With a million screaming people, freezing my ass off and trying to catch a glimpse of some stupid ball. No thanks.” Justin shuddered, sinking lower on Brian’s cock and making Brian gasp. Justin stretched his arm back and stroked Brian’s testicles. “I have all the balls I need right here.”

Brian laughed, thrusting his hips up and pushing deeper into Justin. “Don’t worry, Sunshine, you won’t miss the fireworks.” Brian thrust up again.

“Shut up and fuck me,” Justin laughed before leaning down and kissing Brian just as the clock struck midnight.

Title: This Year I’m Going To. . .
Prompt: New Year’s Day

“So what are your resolutions, boys?” Debbie asked as she handed out their breakfasts.

“I’m going to stop worry so much.”

“Good luck with that one, Mikey,” Brian rolled his eyes.

“I’m going to find a way to go back to school,” Blake added.

“That’s wonderful; let me know if I can help.” Ben smiled at Blake. “I want to use mediation more regularly.”

“I’m going to add more flair to my events.”

“More flair?” Ted stared at Emmett.

“You can never be too fabulous,” Emmett shrugged. “What about you Brian?”

Brian raised a brow. “You can’t improve on perfection.”

QAF Fic: Hush

2010-11-16T22:56:21Z

Title: Hush
Fandom and Pairing: QAF, Brian/Justin
Notes: Written for the bj_action Caught in the Act Challenge. You can find all the entries HERE

Justin was almost asleep when he felt Brian’s hand run down his body, briefly cupping his cock before coming to rest on his hip. Brian kissed him, licking Justin’s lips and them his own, his mouth warm and wet. Justin’s lips parted and he sighed, turning toward Brian just as he moved his mouth to Justin’s jaw, kissing his way down his neck.

Brian’s cock pressed against Justin, already hot and hard, and that was enough to make Justin hard too. Justin shifted so their cocks brushed against each other then bit back a protest when Brian briefly pulled away. Reaching between them, Brian wrapped his hand, already slick with lube, around their cocks. As he stroked them together, he leaned down and sucked hard on skin just below Justin’s collarbone.

Justin moaned and pushed into Brian’s grip. Brian bit him sharply causing Justin’s cock to throb.

“Like that?” Brian teased, loosening his grip and slowing his hand till he was barley moving.

“Fuck you,” Justin replied, but without any heat. He wrapped his hand around Brian’s and began moving them in a steady rhythm. After a week alone, he was in no hurry for this to end. He spent the time painting like crazy, rarely even bothering to jerk off while Brian had been in Canada with Gus.

Gus! Justin’s eyes snapped open, and he pushed Brian away. “What the fuck are you doing?” he hissed.

“That should be pretty obvious.”

Even in the dark, Justin could feel the way Brian was looking at him, like he was a complete idiot. “What about Gus?”

“He’s sound asleep. Even as loud as you get, he won’t hear you.”

”That’s not what I mean.” But just thinking about it made Justin blush. “This is his first night at the house. What if he wakes up and gets scared or confused and comes looking for you?”

“He won’t. You saw him, he’s dead to the world.” Brian reached for him, but Justin moved back.

“He might.”

Brian flopped onto his back. “You’re being ridiculous. He’s not coming in here. And even if he did, what’s the big deal. I’m sure he’s walked in on the munchers going at it before.”

“That’s different,” Justin protest.

“What, it’s okay to see Melanie eating Lindsay out, but seeing my dick up your ass is going to traumatize him?”

“Well, now that you’ve completely ruined the mood, let’s go to sleep.”

“You’re not getting off that easy, Sunshine.” Brian brought Justin’s hand to his still hard cock. “Stop being such a prude.”

“Brian, we’ve fucked in front of most of gay Pittsburgh and in more public places than I can remember so not wanting to get caught by your son does not make me a prude.”

“It’s not like we never fucked at the loft when Gus was there.”

“He was a baby! He couldn’t go anywhere.”

“You do realize that we could have fucked already, and Gus is still asleep.”

Justin rolled his eyes and turned onto his side, away from Brian. “Go jerk off in the bathroom.”

Brian huffed loudly, but didn’t say anything, and Justin began to relax. After a few moments of silence, he heard Brian moving around. He quickly realized Brian was jerking off. He could hear his hand moving, slowly at first then faster. His own cock grew hard again, and Justin clenched his fists to keep from touching himself.

Justin tried to ignore Brian, but he heard Brian’s breath hitched every few strokes and knew Brian was squeezing his cock to keep himself from coming. He closed his eyes, but all he could see was Brian’s cock, tip flushed and wet as it pushed out of his fist.

The Brian was behind him, cock resting along the cleft of his ass, and Justin couldn’t help pushing back against him.

“Open your eyes. You can see the door, right?”

Justin nodded.

“Good.”

Brian’s hand replaced his cock. He teased Justin’s hole with his fingertips before pressing one, then two fingers inside him. Justin’s moaned loudly.

“Shhh,” Brian held his fingers still. “I want you to watch the door, and if you see it open, we’ll stop. But you have to be very quiet and listen too. Understand?”

Justin nodded again, and Brian twisted his fingers inside him. Brian added a third finger, and as he began to slide them in and out of Justin’s hole, pressing in deeper each time, Justin could hear him jerking off again. With Brian pressed behind him, leg thrown over his, Justin could feel Brian’s hand moving with short and sharp strokes. Justin’s reached for his own cock, stroking it with the same rhythm.

Biting back a moan, Justin let his eyes drift shut before forcing them back open when Brian pulled his fingers out and growled, “Eyes open,” against his ear.

“Bastard,” Justin muttered under his breath.

“Quiet,” Brian reminded him with a light slap on his hip before pressing his fingers back inside, twisting them and pressing even deeper. Justin pushed back and squeezed his ass around Brian’s fingers. He felt Brian’s hand still then his come hit Justin’s thigh. Justin’s hips jerked, and he came with a muffled shout.

When Gus knocked on their door the next morning, Justin pulled on the pants Brian threw him and cheerfully called for Gus to come in, completely ignoring Brian’s sarcastic, “That was close. A few hours earlier and he would have caught us.”

QAF Story: Here to Stay

2010-11-04T21:32:01Z

A short little ficlet I wrote for the Fall Fest over on IJ.

Title: Here to Stay
Fandom and Pairing: QAF Brian and Justin
Beta: Thank you to the wonderful ahaw9913!

It was Indian Summer in New York, and Justin loved it. He walked everywhere without a coat, taking his time and noticing the patterns of color created by the bright sunlight instead of dashing down the streets quickly to get out of the wind. The outdoor vendors were busy, and Justin spent more money than he should have on fruit and coffee, and it was only a stern reminder to himself that he never remembers to water them that kept him from buying the flowers that caught his eye.

Every free minute was spent outdoors enjoying the rare days of warmth without humidity. Once the sun went down, he sketched until his hand gave out inspired by the city in a way he hadn’t been since he first arrived. He woke up in the mornings with stiff fingers and a dull ache in his hand, but couldn’t bring himself to care.

When Justin walked from the terminal at Pittsburgh’s airport to his car, the chill caught him by surprise. He’d packed his coat before leaving New York, and he shivered when the wind hit the back of his neck. By the time his car warmed up, most of his good mood had evaporated. He was tired and cold and not looking forward to the long drive home.

Halfway there, it started to rain. A cold, steady rain that left the windy, dark roads he followed through the mountains slick and treacherous. By the time he made it home, he was tense and cranky and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and wake up back in New York.

Justin dropped his bag at the foot of the stairs when he noticed the light coming from the living room. Brian was sitting in the corner of the couch typing away on his laptop. A low fire provided most of the light, and even from the doorway, Justin could feel its warmth.

He stood there for a few minutes watching the flames cast red and orange shadows over Brian’s skin and hair. He watched as Brian frowned at the computer, rolling his shoulders and flexing his bare feet against the rug. Justin listened to Brian bitch under his breath about whatever report he was reading, and forgot all about New York.

“Waiting up for me?”

“Hey,” Brian looked up and smiled. He closed the laptop and set in on the table. “How was New York?”

“Gorgeous.” Justin kicked off his shoes and joined Brian on the couch. “I have so many ideas for new paintings. The light and colors and the way it affected everyone, it was amazing. I couldn’t stop drawing; I’ll show you the sketches tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait,” Brian muttered before kissing him; a slow, careful kiss that promised so much more. He held Justin’s face with his hand then trailed his fingers down the side of his neck and followed them with his mouth. Justin shivered and tilted his head back when Brian licked and kissed the skin just below his ear.

Justin moved closer and slid his hands under Brian’s shirt. His skin was warm against his hands and arms. It all felt so good; Justin shifted again trying to press his cock against Brian’s hip.

“How were your meetings?” Brian whispered the question into his ear before sucking his earlobe into his mouth and biting gently.

“Good.” Justin’s answer came out more breathy than he intended. “My agent loves me again, and we set up the next series of shows. You got the dates I emailed?”

“Mmmm,” Brian’s reply was muffled by the material of his shirt as he yanked it over his head.

Justin watched, entranced, as the flames from the fire flickered across the smooth skin of Brian’s chest and back. Brian leered at him before stripping his shirt off and pressing him into the couch.

Brian kissed him again, this time deep and deliberate with his hands fisted in Justin’s hair. “And now your back in the Pitts,” he said when he pulled back.

Justin didn’t bother answering; he just pulled Brian down for another kiss. The warmth of the fire and Brian’s skin against his, seeped into his body chasing away the last of the chill and tension, leaving him feeling fluid and boneless. They both still had their jeans on, and Brian slowly rolled their hips together. His hands relaxed in Justin’s hair, stroking his face, their kiss gentled and became a lazy exploration of lips and tongue. They weren’t going anywhere for a long time.

QAF Cuddle Day Ficlet: Another Quiet Evening

2010-08-20T23:12:15Z

I wrote this a few months ago for the 3rd annual Brian and Justin Cuddle Day. It was the first non drabble I wrote after a very long break.

Title Another Quiet Evening
Pairing and Fandom: QAF, Brian and Justin
Rating: PG
Beta The wonderful vl_redreign. Thank you Red!

Justin leaned forward as Michael enthusiastically described his plans for Rage’s next villain. The latest issue was due to be released in a few weeks, and it was time to start planning the next one.

“So, do you see him as raw and barbaric? Overdone muscles, long unkempt hair, tattered clothing? Or more of a hidden threat? I could go with long lines, chiseled angular features and a very polished, classic look.” Justin could easily imagine both possibilities.

Michael thought for a moment before answering. “I like the idea of a hidden threat, but with the unfocused destruction I want him to cause, I can’t picture the severe alias you described. I think a more easy going façade that hides an evil, chaotic mind. What could you do with that?”

A new picture began to form in Justin’s mind, and his fingers itched to start sketching. But while Debbie’s living room was filled with people, he didn’t see paper and pencil anywhere. “That could work. If we really emphasis how harmless he looks, even Zephyr and JT won’t be sure Rage is right when he identifies him as a threat.”

“That would be a great way to split them up when danger hits.”

Michael was about to say more when Hunter yelled from the doorway. “Hey guys, I’m headed to Evan’s. Don’t wait up.”

Michael rolled his eyes and stood up. “Hold, on,” he said to Justin. “What do you mean, don’t wait up? Are you staying at Evan’s or going out?” Michael intercepted Hunter before he could leave.

Waving Michael away, Justin’s chuckle turned to a yawn, and he stretched his arms over his head. He felt Brian’s hand on his shoulder, tugging him backward. Justin leaned back towards Brian and tried to relax, but Brian’s shoulder was digging into his back. Justin shifted a few times until, with only a small grumbled complaint, Brian turned into the corner of the couch and lifted his arm so Justin could settle under it.

“I see you and Mikey are making plans to destroy Gayopolis, yet again?” he teased quietly once Justin stopped moving around.

“Don’t forget saving the city from evil. That’s the important part.”

“If you say so,” Brian laughed. “I think you two have more fun planning the destruction.”

“Maybe,” Justin shrugged. He thought about saying more, but Brian pulled him closer and kissed him. Justin opened his mouth, licking at Brian’s lips then stroking his tongue.

“Who wants wine?” Debbie called loudly.

Justin sighed as he and Brian pulled apart. He declined Debbie’s offer and rested his head against Brian’s shoulder as he listened to Brian and Emmett argue the merits of Merlot and Chardonnay. Brian dropped his arm from along the top of the couch, and it was a warm weight across Justin’s chest. Before long, Justin began to drift off.

Forcing his eyes open, Justin tried to sit up, but Brian held him tighter and whispered, “Go back to sleep.”

Justin didn’t remember much after that although he vaguely recalled someone covering him with a blanket. He also caught random bits of conversation which formed one nonsensical dialogue in his head. Apparently, Emmett and Hunter were getting married in Canada, Ben was quitting his job to go to beauty school, and Brian and Ted were debating the pros and cons of turning Kinnetik’s lobby into a sports bar.

The last had Justin curious enough to try and figure out what was actually being said. He tried to hang onto to consciousness, but Brian’s fingers were running through his hair and along his neck, soothing him back to sleep.

Later, it could have been hours or minutes, Justin felt Brian pulling away.

“Don’t wake him,” Debbie admonished in a whisper Justin was sure could be heard across the street.

“Well, I’m sure as fuck not carrying his ass to the car,” Brian shot back in a much quieter voice.

“Just leave him here. He can meet you at the diner in the morning.”

“I’m up,” Justin mumbled.

“Not likely,” Brian said, reaching under the blanket and cupping his dick.

Justin very deliberately elbowed him in the ribs when he sat up. “Thanks for dinner, Debbie. Sorry I conked out on you.” Yawning, Justin looked around the empty room and wondered when everyone else had left.

“Don’t you worry about it, sweetie. I’m always happy to see you, awake or sleeping.”

Justin folded the blanket while Brian got their coats and the leftovers Debbie insisted on sending. “I’ll see you at the diner before I go back to New York.”

Debbie hugged him tightly then held his face in her hands and studied him while squinting. “All this traveling is wearing you out. I wish you could settle down. I understand there’s a lovely house in the country still sitting empty.”

“If you say one words about grandchildren, I’m never bringing him back here,” Brian said as he came out of the kitchen.

“I’m a romantic, not an idiot,” Debbie rolled her eyes.

“You say tomato, I say delusional.” Brian kissed Debbie on the cheek and hustled Justin out the door before she could say anything else.

“Come on, Sleeping Beauty,” Brian wrapped his arm around Justin as they walked to the car. “Your carriage awaits.”

QAF Anniversary Fic: In a Book in a Box High Upon a Shelf

2010-08-14T20:38:06Z

I wrote this fic as part of a celebration of 513 five years after it aired. It's really an ensemble fic with a focus on Brian and Justin if that makes any sense.

Title: In a Book in a Box High Upon a Shelf
Fandom and Pairing: QAF, Brian/Justin
Summary Not all anniversaries are cause for celebration
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None
Author’s Notes: Written for the QAF Anniversary Gala at qaf_scavenger. Thank you the fabulous thymewriter for stepping in to beta this. Any remaining mistakes are mine. Title comes from the wonderful Barenaked Ladies song “For You.”

Brian’s day got off to a fabulous start. He woke to Justin’s mouth, warm, wet, and soft, around his cock. Brian opened his eyes and stretched. If the motion happened to push his cock further into Justin’s mouth, he wasn’t complaining. And the way Justin sucked harder and winked at him let him know Justin was equally pleased. Brian flopped back against the pillow. Closing his eyes, he let the rhythmic motion of Justin’s mouth and the stroke of his hands across his thighs and over his balls bring him closer and closer to orgasm.

Just when he was about to shoot, Justin released his cock and slapped his ass.

“If you want to be on time for your meeting, you’d better get in the shower right now.”

“What the fuck?” Brian opened his eyes and found Justin already gone. He stumbled into the bathroom to find the water running and a condom sitting on the counter.

“Fucker,” he muttered under his breath. Through the frosted glass, he watched Justin sliding two soapy fingers in and out of his hole. Brian grabbed the condom and walked into the shower.

When Justin heard the door open, he stopped fingering himself and leaned forward against the wall. Bracing himself with his arms, he wiggled his ass at Brian.

Brian walked up behind him then leaned down and whispered in his ear. “What makes you think I won’t put you on the first flight back to New York for that little stunt?” Before Justin could answer, Brian entered him with one swift thrust and smiled triumphantly when Justin gasped.

Justin pressed back and took Brian in deeper then he squeezed his ass around Brian’s cock. “You wouldn’t want to miss out on this,” he said smugly after Brian groaned.

Not to be outdone, Brian reached around and grabbed Justin’s dick. “You might have a point, but don’t get cocky.”

Justin’s dick was wet and slick with soap, Brian’s hand slid easily up and down as he fucked Justin with short, hard thrusts. He heard Justin’s breath catch so he stroked him faster and faster until his come splattered the shower wall. Pressing as deep as he could into Justin’s ass, Brian found his own release.

He made it to his meeting with a minute to spar, but didn’t even have time to stop for coffee on the way. When he walked into the diner for lunch, he noticed groups of people sitting huddled together and talking quietly. Even Debbie’s greeting was subdued.

“What’s going on?” he asked as he slid into the seat next to Michael.

“Didn’t you read the paper?” Emmett looked up with misty eyes. “There’s an article on the fifth anniversary of the bombing.

Ted slid the newspaper across the table. “Liberty Avenue Rocked By Bombing Five Years Ago Today.” Brian skimmed the article and found it nothing more than a rehash of everything that had been written before. There was a list of the dead, a few quotes from survivors on their memories of the events, and some highlights from Michael’s speech. Then he saw the picture. One look at Babylon burning, scared, hurt people wandering the street in front of it, and he was right back there. He tightened his hand into a fist to keep from reaching for his phone to call Justin and make sure he was alright. He clenched the paper than shoved it back across the table.

“I have better things to do with my time than read that rag,” Brian said dismissively. “Debbie, make my order to go. See you boys later.”

“Brian?” Michael called, but he was already at the counter.

“What was that about? Debbie asked when she came by their table a few minutes later. “I was going to ask him if he thought we should have a little service in front of Babylon tonight, but he grabbed his order and ran.”

Ted looked up from the paper he was smoothing the wrinkles out of. “I don’t see that happening.”

Debbie looked at the door again before turning back to them. “I’m not sure what’d we do anyway. There’s sure as fuck nothing to celebrate, but I don’t think mourning will do us any good either. I can’t believe it’s been five years.”

“And not a whole lot has changed,” Emmett said glumly.

“It’s never been easy.” Debbie reached over and patted Emmett’s hand. Then she looked at Michael and brightened. “Sweetie, it was so nice to see your wonderful words in print! You really are an inspiration.”

“Thanks, Ma.” Michael blushed then tried to change the subject. “So what is anyone doing tonight?”

Ben saw the article during a break after his morning classes. He read it in his office and tried to stop the growing feelings of anger, fear, and helpless that still came with thinking about the bombing, thinking about almost losing Michael. When Michael had come home from the hospital, he’d put so much effort into not dwelling on it. And life had gone on.

But Ben knew despite the philosophies that helped him accept his HIV status, he would never be at peace with what happened that night. There had been no justice. No one had claimed responsibility, there had been no arrests. Seven people dead, so many lives shattered, all for nothing. He’d come so close to having his own life destroyed because some coward wanted to make a point.

Realizing he needed to get to his last class, Ben took a deep breath and tried to center himself. When he walked into class, his students were laughing and talking about the new 3-D movie they all wanted to see. Ben felt his anger flare again. Didn’t they care?

“Hey, Professor.” One of his students called out a greeting when they spotted him. Their discussions quickly died off as they turned their attention to him.

Ben was tempted to say something about the article, but then he looked at his students. They were so young, freshmen mostly, barely old enough to vote. Five years ago they hadn’t even started high school; if they remembered the bombing at all, it would be a distant memory. They couldn’t give him the discussion he craved; there would be no creative outlet for his feeling here.

Anger faded to a feeling of isolation, Ben gave them an impromptu writing assignment and moved to the desk he rarely used. He pulled the paper from his briefcase and set the article on the desk.

Emmett couldn’t focus on the party he was supposed to be organizing. He kept thinking about what he’d said to Debbie about how things hadn’t changed much in five years. It wasn’t like him to be so cynical, but as much as Emmett had always been able to face down hate, he couldn’t understand senseless violence. When he caught himself wishing for pudding, Emmett finally found a reason to laugh.

“Where’s Drew when I need him?” he muttered to himself.

“Who’s Drew?” Marcus, one of the set-up crew asked.

“Just an old boyfriend. I was thinking about him today.”

“You should look him up. I bet he’s on Facebook.”

“Honey, if I took the time to troll Facebook for every handsome man from my past, I wouldn’t have time to work. Which is what you should be doing right now.”

Marcus rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I bet you could find him.”

Emmett had too much dignity to admit he’d already looked. Besides, it’s not like he couldn’t call Drew if he wanted to. They’d parted as friends and even had dinner before Drew left to work in the athletic department of a small college in Minnesota. Even if their promises to keep in touch had proved meaningless, Emmett knew Drew would understand his calling today.

But Emmett didn’t know what he would even say so he tried to forget about Drew and how he’d known how to shake Emmett out of his funk. After driving everyone crazy with his own inattention, Emmett finally went home early.

After a few hours of restlessly prowling his apartment, Emmett was about to call Ted and see what he and Blake were up to when the phone rang. “Hello,” he snatched the phone up quickly.

“Emmett, it’s Drew.”

“Drew, what a surprise! I was just thinking about you.”

“I thought you might be.” Drew cleared his throat. “I mean I saw the article and wanted to see how you were.”

“I didn’t realize it was carried nationally.”

“I read the Gazette online,” Drew corrected.

“Of course, why didn’t I think of that.” Emmett felt like he was still a step behind the conversation. “Well, to answer your question, it’s been an odd day, but I’m fine. How are you?”

“I guess saying it’s an odd day it as good a way to put it as I can come up with. It’s funny, I haven’t thought about that night for years, and today, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Yes,” Emmett agreed quietly.

“It’s not the only reason I called though. I’m going to be in Pittsburgh next week, interviewing with the Ironmen, actually, for a position on the radio network. I was hoping we could have dinner.”

“Oh Drew, I don’t know.” It seemed like too much to process after the day Emmett had had.

“No pressure, Emmett. I actually had my twenty-first birthday a few years ago. I thought about calling then, but I was settled here, and it didn’t seem fair. I’m just hoping to see a friendly face while I’m in town.”

Emmett knew that the Fates were probably laughing at him, but he couldn’t help but smile. “That sounds nice as long as I get to pick the restaurant. I have very high standards you know.”

Drew’s laugh sounded more relieved than amused. “Thanks Emmett. I’ll call you when I get in.”

When Emmett hung up, he was still restless, but now it was from anticipation. Maybe something good would come of this day after all.

Jennifer called Justin to tell him about the article. They talked for a few minutes before her next client came in. “I’m so glad you’re home, Honey,” she said in a slightly shaky voice just before they ended the call.

“Yeah, me too,” Justin echoed softly before he hung up.

Justin read the article online. He tried to remember his life before that night and found it almost impossible to put himself back there. Everything had changed. Brian, his career, his family, everything. He closed his eyes and let his feelings take shape. He could see the colors, could begin to imagine the focal points and intersections.

Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and reached for his sketchpad.

He was still trying to follow his vision when Brian came home. He looked at the scattered papers, some sketches, some printouts, and raised his eyebrow. “I guess I don’t have to ask what you were doing all day.”

Justin stood and made a face when he realized how stiff he was. “You know how it is when inspiration strikes. How was your meeting?”

“I got to dazzle clients and terrify half my staff all at once.”

“Sounds like a good day?” Justin regarded Brian carefully and waited to see if he’d bring up the article.

“Just a typical demonstration of my genius. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Uh-huh,” Justin nodded and decided to let it go. “You want to go out?”

Brian shook his head and began undressing. “Thought we’d stay in tonight. I still owe you from this morning.” He advanced toward Justin, moving him toward the bedroom.

“We’ll see who comes out on top,” Justin challenged with a laugh.

When Ted finally made it home, he wasn’t sure if Blake would even be awake. He took a shower and slid quietly into bed. He jumped a little when Blake turned and wrapped his arm around his waist.

“That was a long meeting. Everything okay?” Blake asked quietly.

“It’s better now. I can’t believe how much reading that article about the bombing bothered me. I thought I’d put that all behind me.” Ted shivered in the darkness, and Blake pulled him closer.

“It was a horrible night.”

“Looking at that picture, I could practically taste the smoke. I was so damn scared.”

“Wait,” Blake interrupted. “You were there?”

“Didn’t I ever tell you?” When he felt Blake shake his head, Ted thought about it. “I guess I didn’t. By the time we met again, I was over the worst of it, and it really isn’t something that comes up in conversation. Even when Babylon reopened, I was so focused on moving forward that I didn’t want to think about why we were rebuilding.”

“But you thought about it today.”

Ted was sure he’d said everything he needed to at the meeting, but somehow in his bed with Blake, he realized he still needed to talk about it. He told Blake everything he remembered, told him about his fear and guilt and avoidance. And Blake listened.

“It was the most out of control, helpless, and scared I’d felt since I stopped using. I didn’t know what to do,” Ted concluded.

“You might have felt out of control and helpless, but you found your way, Ted. You always do,” Blake reassured him.

“And look at what I’ve found my way to.” Ted brushed his fingers along Blake’s face before kissing him softly.

Ben waited impatiently for Michael to get home. As soon as he walked in the door, Ben pulled him into his arms and held him tightly. “I love you so much,” he whispered roughly.

“I love you too,” Michael’s voice was muffled by Ben’s chest. He stroked Ben’s back and gently eased them apart. “Now that I can breathe, what was that?”

Ben framed his face and kissed him deeply before pulling back and resting his face along side Michael’s. He drew comfort from the warmth of Michael’s breath against his cheek. “I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Then don’t.” Michael guided him to the couch and met his gaze. “I’m not going anywhere. Don’t let those people who wanted to hurt us and scare us do this to you.”

“Kill, Michael, they wanted to kill us. And they almost killed you.” Ben started to get up to pace, but Michael pulled him back down. “I couldn’t stop thinking about that. They almost killed you, and they got away with it.”

“But they didn’t win. Because we’re still here, together, raising our family and loving each other. They couldn’t kill that. No one can.”

Michael looked at him with such conviction and love that Ben finally stopped being angry. “You always know what to say.”

Michael laughed loudly. “Only you and my mother would ever say that.”

“Debbie’s a wise woman. I know better than to argue with her.” Ben pulled Michael close and let the feeling of holding him in his arms soothe him.

They talked about Hunter and Michael’s favorite new comic book. They kissed and laughed, and Ben let Michael talk him into ordering pizza for dinner. After dinner, Ben put in a CD and pulled Michael into his arms for a dance. One song led to another and as they danced Ben leaned down to nuzzle the soft skin along Michael’s neck. Michael worked his hands under Ben’s shirts, stroking the last of the tension from his muscles before pulling the shirt off completely. They kissed and stumbled their way back to the couch; neither of them noticed when the music ended.

Marie mailed a copy of the article to Melanie and Lindsay. Melanie opened the mail when she brought the kids home from the sitters. She saw the note Marie had attached “I still miss her everyday,” and hastily shoved the paper back in the envelope. She thought of how genuinely happy Marie had looked at her wedding last year. It had been wonderful to see her, even better to see her smile, but still painful to see the children smile with Dusty’s smile and eyes while calling another woman “Mommy.”

She and Lindsay read the article together that night in bed. “I can’t believe it’s been five years,” Lindsay sighed. “It seems like it just happened, but I can barely remember life before that.”

”I know what you mean. Sometimes it seems like we’ve always been here, just you and me and the kids together. But all I have to do is close my eyes, and I’m back in Pittsburgh wondering if Michael was going to survive, wondering how I got lucky enough to get you back.”

Lindsay kissed her softly before picking up Marie’s note. “We were, are, so incredibly lucky. Sometimes we forget not everyone was.”

Melanie nodded. She ran her fingers along the list of those killed. “It seems like there should be more names. When I think about it, I can’t believe more people didn’t die.”

“Only seven.” Lindsay shook her head and let out a horrified chuckle. “I can’t believe I just said that. Only seven. Like that’s not enough to be tragic, like it’s not seven too many. One is too many, and we say only seven because we are so immune to tragedy that without a high death count we lose interest. What’s happened to us?”

Melanie didn’t have an answer so she stayed silent. She thought again of Dusty and Marie’s children who only knew Dusty through the photos Marie kept out and the stories she told them. “One is too many. Dusty, God,” her voice cracked. “Dusty was too many.”

Lindsay pulled Melanie down so her head rested on Lindsay’s breast. She closed her eyes and held back her tears as Lindsay stroked her back. Melanie wrapped her arms around Lindsay and kissed the slope of her breast.

“I love you,” Lindsay whispered into her hair.

Melanie nodded and thought of all the blessings they had in their life. She tilted her face up so she could see Lindsay. “We should pick a weekend next month and take the kids to Pittsburgh to see their fathers.”

Lindsay smiled. “I’d like that,” she replied softly. She smoothed Melanie’s hair off her face then slid down in the bed so they could curl up together.

It was a long time before either of them fell asleep.

The next morning, Brian made it to the diner for breakfast only to find everyone still fixated on the bombing.

“You won’t believe who I’m having dinner with next week. Drew saw the article online and called me last night. It was the most amazing thing because I’d been thinking about him all day. I don’t know how I would have gotten myself together without him,” Emmett practically burst with the news as soon as Ted sat down.

“I think everyone remembers his speech at the vigil. Between that and Ben freaking out, it was quite an event.”

“I never realized how angry Ben was,” Michael said.

“You might have been a distracted by almost bleeding to death,” Brian interjected sarcastically.

Ted laughed a little, but Michael ignored him. “We never really talked about it. We were so happy to have Hunter back, and Ben was so focused on taking care of me that I never knew how much Ben was affected.”

“Blake didn’t even know I was there,” Ted shook his head, still surprised that he’d never told Blake. “I guess I just assumed he knew.”

“It sounds like all of us were trying to forget it ever happened,” Emmett said.

Just then Debbie came to take their order. “So how are you boys? I could hardly sleep last night thinking about how scared I was when I found out Michael was hurt. Then I remembered all those poor people who died.”

“Isn’t there something, anything, else you could possibly find to talk about?” Brian interrupted loudly.

Everyone turned and stared at him. Debbie’s pencil remained poised above her orderpad, and the silence grew until finally Ted said meekly, “I’ll have a hard boiled egg and whole wheat toast.”

Brian sighed loudly and elbowed Michael out the way. He left without another word.

Three days later, Brian had barely made it home when someone knocked loudly. He pulled the door open and found Debbie standing there with a casserole dish in each arm. He raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything.

Debbie rolled her eyes and pushed him out of the way. “You can’t be that surprised to see me. You haven’t been back to the diner since your breakfast tantrum. You had to know I’d show up eventually.”

“I do not have tantrums,” Brian protested without much conviction. Then he eyed the two casserole dishes Debbie held. “How long are you planning on staying?”

Debbie hefted the dish from her left arm onto the counter. “This one is carbonara for Sunshine.”

“How is it you keep bringing me tuna, and Justin gets carbonara?”

Debbie shrugged. “He has expensive tastes; he always has. Might explain some of what he saw in you.”

Brian gave her a puzzled look. “Is that a compliment or an insult?”

“I don’t know. Ask me after I’m high.” Debbie giggled. “Oh, and you’d better have some pot. Ever since Carl brought that retired police dog home, I can’t keep a secret stash around the house.”

“I hope you’re staying at Michael’s tonight because you aren’t hiding out here.” Brian went into his bedroom then returned with his box of pot and wrappers. He sat next to Debbie at the counter and started rolling the first joint.

“Speaking of hiding,” Debbie began.

“Could you try for even a little subtlety?” Brian interrupted her.

“As I was saying,” Debbie continued loudly. “What’s with the disappearing act?

“I’ve been busy.”

“You’ve never been so busy that you didn’t stop in the diner for three days.”

“Oh is it still a diner? I thought maybe it had been turned into a museum dedicated to bad things that happened to good queers.”

“You won’t scare me off by being crass so watch your mouth when you talk about what happened to our community, to our family that awful night”

“Yes, ma’am,” Brian said with only a little sarcasm.

“I know you don’t like remembering what happened any more than the rest of us do. We all carry scars from that night even if you can’t see them like you can Michael’s. But I know you Brian, and it’s more than memories of the bombing that have you running scared.”

Brian very carefully began rolling a second joint.

Debbie sighed loudly. “Well, since you asked so nicely, here’s what I think. Almost losing Justin and Michael scared the shit out of you. Michael was easy. You’ll always be his best friend so it didn’t take much to get you two back on track. But you didn’t know what to do about Sunshine. All you knew is that you wanted him with you and safe.”

“You,” Debbie jabbed a finger in Brian’s face. “You have never known what to do with love. So next thing you know you’re buying a fancy house, and Emmett’s scouring the world for some crazy flower Justin wants.”

”Golden gardenias.” Brian interjected.

“Whatever. The point is you couldn’t just tell him you loved him. You had to orchestrate some big event you wouldn’t have known what to do about if it actually happened. But then you got lucky, and Justin went to New York.”

”I was practically left at the altar, and you call that lucky?”

“Now Justin’s home again,” Debbie kept going as if Brian hadn’t spoken. “But neither of you are talking about houses or gardenias. Then suddenly everyone starts talking about that night again and how it changed them. You changed more than anyone, Brian. So why aren’t you living up to your promises?”

“I’m not walking down any aisles, Deb.” Brian finally looked up and met her eyes.

“You’re the only one who ever needed the fireworks, Honey. Don’t ever think that you aren’t enough without them. Justin’s loved you since the moment he set eyes on you. Nothing’s ever changed that. When you thought you might have lost Justin, you knew in your heart what you wanted. Don’t run away now that it’s actually possible.”

Brian looked away, his eyes glancing from the ceiling to the floor and back again. When he realized Debbie was done, he handed her a joint. “I thought life lessons were supposed to come after we were high.”

“It’s been so damn long since I had a joint, I want to enjoy every moment of this one. Now hand me the lighter.”

It was another week before Justin asked him to meet him at his studio. He walked in and found Justin at the sink washing brushes. He came up behind him and kneaded his shoulders. When Justin moaned and leaned his head back, Brian bent down and kissed his neck. “So what’s the big surprise?”

Justin reached back and squeezed the back of Brian’s neck before nodding in the direction of a large covered canvas. “Give me a second, and I’ll show you.”

Brian stayed a few steps behind Justin as he walked over and uncovered the painting. “Jesus, Justin,” Brian said as soon as he saw it. He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at the floor. He hadn’t had to look away from one of Justin’s pieces since the one and only time Justin had tried to sketch something from the disjointed pieces of memory he had of the moments before the bashing.

Taking a deep breath, he looked back up. The painting was stunning, powerful, and indescribable. Brian knew most people would only see the way the colors and shadows played off each other; they would see the whole but would miss the story. But Brian could read the story of every brushstroke from the dark chaotic center, to the individual paths of light that shot off from it. Some died off, some spiraled out of control, others traveled together, and some danced around each other before coming together in a shower of light.

“Brian?” Justin had come to stand beside him. He didn’t look at the painting, but kept his attention on Brian. He watched while Brian continued to stare at the painting, running a comforting hand up and down along Brian’s spine.

“When’s you next show?” Brian finally asked.

Justin made a quick face. “About six weeks, I think.”

“You’re going to show it?” When Justin didn’t answer, Brian looked at him. He saw the hesitation in Justin’s face so when he said it again it wasn’t a question. “You’re going to show it.”

“I want to.”

Brian nodded. “You need to. The reviews are going to be out of this world. But I want it.”

Justin’s smile lit up his face, but all he said was, “Okay.”

Brian helped Justin recover the painting and finish cleaning the studio. They didn’t talk much other than to decide to stop for Chinese on the way home. When they got back to the loft, Brian put the food on the counter, but neither of them was interested in eating.

“I’m going to take a shower.” Justin gestured toward the bathroom then walked away when Brian nodded and moved the food to the fridge.

Once the food was put away, Brian changed into sweatpants, but didn’t bother with a shirt. He made himself put his clothes away before looking on the shelf in the closet for what he needed. He was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting when Justin came out of the bathroom.

He looked at Brian and grabbed a pair of his own sweatpants before sitting next to him. “You could have joined me,” he said with a smile.

Brian ran his hands through Justin’s damp hair, twisting the longer ends around his finger. He tugged him forward for a kiss. “Later,” he promised.

Leaning his head on Justin’s shoulder, he nuzzled his neck then brushed away the droplets of water that fell into his eyes. “I want to take the painting to the house,” he said against Justin’s ear.

“Really?” Justin turned forcing Brian to lift his head. “The den has some great light that could work well if we hang it on the far wall. We might need to repaint though.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Brian couldn’t help but respond to Justin’s enthusiasm. “I was thinking we could start spending some time out there. Maybe a weekend every now and again.”

“That would be nice,” Justin agreed. “It shouldn’t be left empty all the time.”

Brian took a deep breath and decided to go for it. He pulled the box out from behind him and set it in front of Justin. He didn’t look at Justin as he opened it. “I’m going to start wearing this. I want you to wear yours.” Brian forced himself to look up.

Justin’s face was filled with joy. He held out his hand; it was shaking slightly. “Yes,” he said.

Relief made Brian giddy, and he laughed. “Yes, what?” he asked.

“Yes, I want to wear your ring.” Justin’s voice was solemn, but he couldn’t stop smiling.

Brian slid the ring onto Justin’s finger. He pressed his forehead to Justin’s and looked down at his hand. He traced the line of his finger, trying to get used to the feel of the gold against Justin’s skin. Brian turned his head and kissed Justin’s temple before pulling back and handing him the ring box.

“Put it on me.” Brian was smiling, but his voice was husky and rough.

Justin threw his head back and laughed. Then he reached for Brian’s hand and slid the ring into place. It fit perfectly. Justin pressed the palms of their left hands together then entwined their fingers. He leaned down and kissed Brian’s finger where the ring rested.

Brian caught him in a kiss as he sat up. He pulled him close with his right arm, keeping their left hands clasped together. He kissed Justin again, trailing his lips along his jaw before reaching his ear and whispering, “Welcome home.”

QAF Fic: Our Graffiti Love

2010-07-29T21:27:56Z

Title: Our Graffiti Love
Fandom and Pairing: QAF, Brian/Justin
Summary Justin finds a surprising way to reassure Brian
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None
Author’s Notes: Thank you to my wonderful beta vl_redreign. Any remaining mistakes are mine. Title comes from the fabulous Barenaked Ladies song “Every Subway Car.”

The first time Justin saw Brian’s tattoo, he almost laughed. It was so unexpected and didn’t really seem to suit Brian. But over time, he developed a fascination with it. Justin loved to lick and stroke the tattoo; always trying to taste and feel a difference in the skin. He loved seeing the color bleed back into Brian’s natural skin tone. Justin imagined swirling new colors onto Brian’s skin, imagined leaving his own art as a permanent mark on him.

Justin leaned back in his bed and listened as Brian told him about the diner’s new waiter. “Every time he sees Emmett he turns red and drops something. Debbie’s going to kill him if he doesn’t get over it.”

“Not everyone can flirt and bus tables as well as I did,” Justin laughed.

“I wouldn’t go that far, but at least you never dumped a pink plate special in my lap.”

“I didn’t have a death wish.” Justin shuddered at the thought of Brian’s reaction if he’d ended up with gravy coved Armani. “Hey, I hear Pulse has a big name DJ lined up for Saturday night.”

“Have a good time.”

“Brian,” Justin began. He knew that flat tone meant another cancelled visit.

“We got a heads up that Eyeconics is filing for bankruptcy so not only are we losing the account, but they still owe for last quarter.”

“Fuck.”

“Tell me about it. I have a lead on another account, but the only meeting I could get is for Monday which means. . .”

“You have to spend the weekend preparing a presentation,” Justin finished for him. “I could come home.”

“Don’t bother. I’ll be busy, and I’m sure there are things you can do in New York that beat wasting time in airports and watching me work.”

“Like what?” Justin knew Brian was right, but they hadn’t seen in each other in a few months, and at the moment all the inconvenience seemed worth it for some time together.

“I’m sure your agent has a list of galleries you should make an appearance at this weekend. Then you can check out the overrated DJ at Pulse and get your dick sucked.”

“There are worse ways to spend my time,” Justin admitted. There was no point in complaining and making both of them feel bad. “I have an early shift tomorrow so, later.”

“Later.”

Justin waited until Brian hung up then set his phone down reluctantly. He knew it wasn’t Brian’s fault, but he’d really been looking forward to this weekend. It was so tempting to say “fuck it,” and get on the first flight to Pittsburgh, but the truth was he couldn’t afford the airfare right now, and Brian would be too tied up with work to spend any time with him. If they didn’t have phone sex, Justin usually jerked off after talking to Brian, but he wasn’t in the mood so he turned off the light and tried to sleep.

Justin grabbed his phone without looking at the display and was pleasantly surprised to hear Brian’s voice. “Hey, I didn’t expect to hear from you until tomorrow night.”

“The presentation’s as good as it’s going to get. Either they’ll like or they won’t. So how was Pulse?”

Knowing the subject of work was closed, Justin didn’t press for details and instead answered Brian’s question. “It wasn’t bad. You were right; the DJ was seriously overrated. But one of the bartenders gave me free drinks, and I fucked him during his break.”

“How was he?” Brian sounded a lot more interested.

“Pretty good, actually. He had this way of clenching his ass around my cock that, well I can’t describe it, but I’ll show you.”

“Look forward to it, especially since I probably won’t have a decent fuck until then. Babylon’s been a wasteland lately.” Brian sighed dramatically.

Justin wondered what it would be like if they just said “I miss you” and “I love you,” but maybe that would just be worse. The he realized Brian was still talking, and he shoved the thought aside.

“The last guy who blew me was fucking horrible. I got off thinking about the last time you were in the Pitts.”

“The shower or the dildo?”

“What do you think?”

“The dildo.” Justin smiled at the memory. Just thinking about it made his cock twitch so he shoved his underwear off and stretched out on the couch.

“I came home from work, and as soon as I walked in I could hear you. You were breathing fast then you’d stop and moan just a little. I knew you were touching yourself. I took off my jacket and started unbuttoning my shirt before I walked into the bedroom.”

“What did you see?” Justin stroked himself, remembering what it felt like to keep himself on the edge while he waited for Brian to find him.

“You were fucking yourself with a blue dildo. You were so fucking hard, and you were barely touching yourself, but every time you pushed the dildo in, you squeezed your cock. That’s when you’d moan. It was so fucking hot; I pulled out my cock out and started jerking off right on the stairs.”

Justin could hear Brian jerking off now. He thought about how Brian had looked still half-dressed and hard, staring at him while he fucked himself. Justin tucked the phone against his shoulder, and noisily sucked on two fingers. Brian’s breathy “Fuck, Justin,” told Brian knew exactly what he was doing.

“Tell me more,” Justin demanded as he pushed his fingers inside himself.

“I would have finished myself off right there, but opened your eyes and saw me. You threw me a condom and got up on all fours. The fucking dildo was still inside you. I kicked off my pants, but never did get my shirt off. The lube was on the bed so I poured some on the dildo and rubbed it around your hole where it was stretched so tight. Then I pulled the dildo almost completely out, got it nice and slick then pushed it in as far as I could.”

“Yeah.” Justin twisted his fingers, pushing them in deeper while moving his other hand faster and faster.

“I knew you wanted to touch yourself, knew you were ready to come, but you didn’t move so I twisted the dildo, God,” Brian’s voice rose, and Justin knew he was about to come. “I pulled it out just as you started to come, and I fucked you so hard. Your ass, fuck, you were so hot and tight around me.”

The phone clattered to the floor as Justin came. He picked up a few minutes later and heard Brian breathing harshly on the other end. “That was. . .”

“Yeah.”

The sat in silence for a few moments before Brian spoke again. “I need a fucking joint.”

“I need a fucking shower.” Justin grabbed his discarded underwear and wiped himself off. “I have a few days off next week so I was thinking of coming for a visit.”

“I’ll be in Chicago. I need to spend some time with Leo Brown, and he has some people he wants me to meet which could mean another account or two.”

“What about my next weekend off? It’s in five weeks.”

“I’m not sure what I’ll be doing. Cynthia is setting up a few more trips for me so I’ll let you know when I can get free. It makes more sense for me to come to New York anyway.”

“I guess,” Justin agreed reluctantly. “I’m going to get that shower before I stick to the couch. Goodnight.”

“Yeah.”

Justin finished his shower, but was too restless to go to sleep. After pacing around his apartment for a few minutes, he called Daphne. “I’m sick of phone sex,” he said as soon as she picked up.

“Well, hello to you, too.”

“Sorry, Daph. How are you?”

“Not sick of phone sex, but only because I’m not having it or any other kind of sex for that matter.” Daphne giggled.

“Are you drunk?” Justin asked suspiciously.

“No,” Daphne giggled again. “Maybe a little, but not too drunk to hear about your phone sex crisis.”

“It’s not a crisis. I’d just be a lot happier if Brian were fucking me in more than my admittedly vivid imagination.” He ignored Daphne’s snort and kept talking. “But with the way things are going with Kinnetik right now, Brian can’t get away, and every time I mention going to Pittsburgh, he reminds me of the ‘important things’ I need to be doing here.”

“You never said Kinnetik was in trouble.”

“It’s not going to shut down or anything, but a lot of companies have really cut their advertising budgets, and a few big clients have gone under. Brian has to spend a lot more time looking for business. The real problem is although we never talked about it. . .”

Daphne snorted again.

“As I was saying, I know Brian hoped to expand to New York. That’s not going to happen now, and Brian’s acting like we’re never going to be together which is complete bullshit. If Brian were here it’d be different, but I don’t plan on staying in New York forever.”

“Does Brian know that?”

“Yes,” Justin sighed. “No. Yes. I think he knows it; he just doesn’t always believe it.”

“You know what you need? An engagement ring!”

Justin rolled his eyes. “Daphne, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a girl or engaged.”

“You may not be a girl, but you most certainly are engaged. You and Brian have an agreement that some day when things work out, you will get married. That’s called an engagement,” Daphne finished smugly.

“It’s not the same. . .”

“Oh, don’t even start about heteronormative practices, outdated patriarchal symbols or whatever other objections you have!”

“Heteronormative practices?” Justin laughed. “I thought you were drunk.”

”I am. I’ve just been saving that for the right time. Just because the way you and Brian conduct your relationship is nontraditional, it doesn’t mean your feelings are all that different that most couples. An engagement ring would be a physical reminder to Brian that you are still on the same path, that you are still committed to a life with him. Especially since you two never stop fucking long enough to talk to each other.”

“We talk,” Justin protested.

“Not about feelings. And besides you’d look pretty with a big diamond on your finger.” Daphne cracked up before she even finished the sentence.

“You’re hopeless.”

“Maybe, but you know I’m right.”

“I don’t need an engagement ring. We already have a symbol of our commitment,” Justin rolled his eyes at the phrasing.

“Wedding rings buried at the bottom of your sock drawer do not count.”

“I meant the house.”

“The house was great as a romantic gesture, but since you don’t live there, and you’ve only been there once in three years, it pretty much sucks as a reminder that your separation is temporary. Besides, you can’t really wear a house.”

“You might be right,” Justin conceded. But then he thought about it. “Or maybe not.”

“Oh, I’m right. You just don’t know it yet. I was right about going to Babylon after Brian ditched you. I was right about Seth Reynolds wanting to have a three-way with us. I was right about our freshman math teacher being creepy. I was right about not getting a perm in junior high.”

“Enough,” Justin interrupted, laughing. “I’ll call you tomorrow when you’re sober.”

“I’m still right,” Daphne sing-songed before hanging up.

Justin shook his head. He went to bed, but couldn’t stop thinking about what Daphne had said and how he might just know a way to make it all work. It was a long time before he fell asleep.

Three weeks later Justin arrived at the loft just before 3am. He gave himself a minute to enjoy the irony of the timing before quietly letting himself in. A quick peek into the bedroom revealed Brian was sleeping and alone so Justin dropped his bag and clothes on the couch and slip into the bed next to Brian.

Brian stirred but didn’t wake up. Justin turned so their bodies were just pressing against each other than he kissed Brian’s jaw, his cheek, finally his mouth. Brian woke into the kiss, licking his lips and stretching without taking his mouth from Justin’s. When Justin threaded his fingers through Brian’s hair and pulled him closer, Brian opened his eyes.

Brian broke the kiss then, pulling back and looking at Justin through narrowed eyes. “If you’re not real, the E Anita sold me is fucked up.”

“I’m very real.” Justin pushed his hard cock against Brian’s hip.

“Good,” Brian growled before moving in for another kiss.

They kissed and groped and thrust against each other until they were panting and slick with sweat. Brian pushed Justin unto his stomach and straddled his thighs.

Justin knew the moment Brian spotted the tattoo. He froze for just a moment then with a muttered “Fuck,” he swept his hands over the small of Justin’s back, then held them there, spanning the width of the tattoo and trying to feel a difference in the skin.

“Jesus,” Brian whispered. He traced the lines of the tattoo with his fingers, gliding them over every inch of it.

Justin shivered as Brian’s touch lightened and ran his fingers over the same lines again and again; he could feel the slope of the roof, the curve of the driveway, the tree covering the east window, all through Brian's touch. He wanted, needed, to move, to touch himself, but Brian’s weight held him motionless. Then Brian’s hands left him, but he didn’t move. Instead, Justin heard him spit, heard Brian’s hand moving on his own cock, up and down, faster and faster. His other hand returned to Justin’s back, stroking the tattoo then pressing into the sensitive flesh.

Justin shifted as much as he could, trying to get any friction on his cock. Then he heard Brian gasp and his hot come splattered Justin’s back, covering the tattoo. Justin bucked his hips and came against the mattress. Brian finally moved off Justin’s legs, but he held Justin still. Slowly, he licked his come from Justin’s back, then kept licking, tracing the tattoo again, this time with his tongue. Justin trembled beneath him, wishing he could come again.

When Brian moved to lay next to him, again exploring the tattoo with his fingers, Justin turned to look at him. “So you like it?” he asked with a laugh, pushing his sweat-soaked hair off his face.

Brian averted his eyes for a second and rolled his lips into his mouth. “It’s ok. You missed a window.”

“What? I did not!” Justin craned his head around to look then caught the smirk on Brian’s face. “Fucker.”

Brian shrugged, but smiled. “How would you know? I bet you can’t even see it.”

“I’m not the one who needs to see it.”

Brian’s eyes softened, letting Justin know he understood, but all he said was, “With all the time you spend admiring your own ass, you’ll probably see it more than I will.”

“Not if I can help it.”

QAF Fic: See Me Through

2010-01-25T23:29:45Z

This is my fic for the qaf_giftxchnge.

Title: See Me Through
Gift Request: post 513, not too angsty
Rating PG-13
Summary: Justin's first year in New York
Notes: Written for qafmaniac. Thank you to noteverything for being my beta and your usual wonderful self. Title is predictably taken from an Erasure song.

The move to New York happened so quickly, Justin barely had time to think about it until he was halfway there. Once the reality of what he’d done hit him, he was tempted to get right back on the first flight to Pittsburgh. But he promised himself he’d stay for at least one year regardless of whether the move proved to be an unqualified success or a complete disaster. Not surprisingly, the truth fell somewhere in the middle.

Many days Justin felt like a ghost. He moved through the city unseen, people moving past him and around him without touching him, always out of reach. Blank eyes starred at his portfolio, leaving him to wonder if it were filled nothing but empty pages. No matter what the season, Justin felt cold on these days.

Brain was his lifeline, his voice an anchor reminding Justin that he wasn’t truly adrift in a city full of strangers. He’d close his eyes and listen to stories about Debbie giving Michael decorating advice, about Ted and Cynthia’s latest attempt to sneak an employee spa day past Brian, and about Gus’s trip to the CN Tower. Brian’s hints about emailing Lindsay and his demands that Justin call Debbie at least twice a week reminded Justin that the tangles web of connections he’d formed in Pittsburgh might be stretched by distance, but they were not weakened.

Some days Justin felt like he was marking time in New York. He knew with an unshakable certainty that something more was waiting for him. His days of sleeping on someone’s couch or sharing a tiny apartment while working his ass off every night just so he could spend his days trying to get someone, anyone, to see his art for what it was, were leading somewhere. This wouldn’t be his life forever, and Justin spent these days on edge, impatient to move past them to his future.

Those nights, it was almost painful to talk to Brian. Justin would barely get a hello out before he had his cock out and he was jerking himself off while telling Brian all the things he longed to do to him. But Justin needed more than Brian could give him over the phone, and after hanging up, he’d head to the first place he could get a free drink and a hard fuck.

Justin rarely slept afterwards, and what he never told anyone was that was when he did some of his best work. Sex brought the impatience and anticipation down to a manageable level. Then he could close his eyes and see where he wanted to, feel what he was moving toward. That is what he captured in the paintings he was most proud of.

Some mornings Justin woke up and couldn’t believe he was really in New York. Despite the struggles and the sometimes continuous rejection, Justin knew he was living a dream. One many had, but few realized. On those days, Justin couldn’t get enough of New York. The city felt alive to him, pulsing with excitement and energy he could feel down to his bones.

Justin spent every free minute walking, trying to see everything, trying to absorb what it meant to be in New York. He felt pulled in every direction, drawn from place to the next. He wanted to walk down Fifth Avenue and see every window display; at the same time, he wanted to be at a tiny family-owned bakery eating homemade cannoli. Sometimes he followed the crowds that flocked to Times Square and Rockefeller Center only to veer off in search of the second-hand shop a friend recommended.

Justin often called Brian while he walked, taking him along on his journey and leaving long messages when Brian wasn’t available. His descriptions were a mix of what he was seeing and what he felt, first impressions and reactions all jumbled together. Brian always listened, and a few days later would come back to the conversation, adding his own insights to the experience. His trips to New York were often highlighted by visiting some of the places Justin described to him.

On Justin’s favorite days, he felt like one with the city. It was a feeling of belonging and peace, tinged by awe that came from acceptance. On these days, he felt like he truly saw New York. The beauty and the decay, the creativity and the corruption, the communities and the outcasts, all of it was laid bare for him. Justin saw it all, and regarded it not with judgment, but with simple acknowledgement.

It wasn’t the buzz of excitement he followed, but the quiet hum of everyday life. It was as if the city had taken a breath, and for that day everything slowed down. Familiar streets were filled with details he’d never noticed, and Justin felt like he could spend hours in one spot and never run out of things to see. He moved with the rhythm of the city, letting it carry him through the day.

His conversations with Brian were about Pittsburgh and Kinnetik. Justin would talk about his art or a club he found, but the time he spent exploring, the feeling of being part of the city was something he didn’t have words for. Late at night, he’d email Brian pictures he’d taken throughout the day. He didn’t remember taking most of them, but they were the pictures he tacked to his wall and looked to for inspiration.

New York was everything Justin expected and so much he could never imagine. His first year there was frustrating, exhilarating, and an endless battle to succeed. For every triumph there seemed to be a hundred defeats, but it was the good days he remembered. Justin never expected to be an overnight success, but he could already see where the doors were opening for him. New York didn’t quite feel like home, but even though Brian wasn’t there with him yet, the one thing he never felt was alone.

QAF Fic: Three Autumns

2010-01-09T21:29:27Z

Still catching up on my reposting. I wrote this fic which is really 3 short scenes for the Fall Challenge qaf_scavenger had on IJ.

Title : Three Autumns
Fandom and Pairing: QAF Brian/Justin, Ben/Michael
Summary: Written for the qaf_scavenger Fall Challenge catagories Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Leaves
Notes: Thank you to xie_xie_xie for the super fast beta and happier_bunny for running this challenge.

Halloween
After a night spent dancing with cowboys, fireman, and disco divas and getting a lot more than their necks sucked by the vampires in the backroom, Brian and Justin wandered along Liberty Avenue, pointing out some of the more outlandish costumes to each other. They were approaching the diner when Justin stopped dead in his tracks.

“Did you come up with this?” Justin asked pointing to the large sandwich board that declared:

“This year don’t just Trick or Treat, Treat Your Trick. 2 for 1 specials all night long!”

“Hell, no. That’s all Debbie.”

Justin eyed the crowd spilling out the open door. Halloween was always a busy night for the diner, but not this busy. “Considering the results, maybe you should offer her a job.”

“That will be the day,” Brian snorted as they fought their way to the counter.

They ordered a couple of sandwiches to go, and when their order came up, Justin handed the bag to Brian, preventing him from reaching for his wallet. “It’s on me tonight,” Justin said with a smile.

“I could go for a treat,” Brian replied in a neutral voice his amusement betrayed by the slightest lift of his eyebrow.

Later sprawled out on the table with Justin’s dick pounding into his ass, Brian spared a brief moment to be thankful that sometimes there was truth in advertising.

Thanksgiving
The first year Justin spent Thanksgiving with Debbie, he was terrified she’d make them hold hands and share what they were thankful for. Saying he was grateful for Brian’s dick wasn’t really appropriate, and he’d be too embarrassed to say how grateful he was to Debbie and Vic for taking him in and accepting him exactly as he was. When the dreaded moment never arrived, Justin was too relieved to question his good fortune.

Justin didn’t think about it again until years later when Daphne complained about having to share why she was thankful at her current boyfriend’s house. Justin laughed as Daphne described some of the intensely personal and inappropriate things Greg’s relatives claimed to be grateful for.

It was so easy to imagine the scene taking place around Debbie’s table. Ted would ramble on about being thankful for some complicated tax shelter, Hunter would say he was thankful he didn’t have to let smelly old men fuck him any more, and not to be outdone, Brian would give his thanks for pre-lubed condoms. The Ben would say something profound that didn’t quite make sense, but still made the rest of them feel like idiots. Debbie would beam proudly while Carl tried to pretend he hadn’t heard any of it.

Equally horrified and amused by the spectacle such a tradition could become, Justin decided he was most grateful he’d been spared the trauma. At the same time, he wondered why. It seemed like such a Debbie thing to do yet not once had she ever tried it. But watching Debbie at the diner one day, as she teased and encouraged with hugs and headslaps, he found his answer. Debbie didn’t need to force them to think of something to be grateful for every Thanksgiving because she had a way of reminding them of their blessings every day.

Leaves
“The leaves are changing,” Ben said one fall morning as Michael joined him on the porch and handed him his coffee.

“It will be time to rake soon. Hunter’s going to love that.” Michael said with a laugh, eying the trees in their yard. In early October, the mornings were already cold, and he moved closer to Ben.

“Many authors portray this time of year as bleak, a beginning of the decay that leads to the death that winter brings, a time when life and hope slowly fade away.” Ben spoke quietly, without turning to look at Michael.

“Is that what you see?” Michael asked, his heart clenching at the thought.

“No.” Ben wrapped his arm around Michael, pulling him close. “Every season is both a beginning and an ending. It means the end of summer, but I have a new set of memories. Another Pride, bike rides with you and Hunter, taking JR to the beach, sex under the stars. But it also means new things to look forward to. Getting to know my new students, Halloween, spending cool nights with a good book, a cup of tea, and you.”

“That sounds a lot better than death and decay,” Michael said in relief.

“I don’t look for death anymore, Michael. I have too much to look forward to, too much living to do.” Ben smiled and Michael, the leaned down, cupping his face and kissing him. “With you,” he whispered.

Michael kissed him back, holding Ben’s gaze as they broke apart, finding comfort in the love he saw there. Then they settled into a comfortable silence, drinking their coffee as leaves fell and geese began to head south.

“We should wake up Hunter,” Ben said, breaking the silence. “Go get breakfast at the diner.”

As they headed back inside to get their son, Michael finds himself looking forward to the rest of the day.

LOTR RPS Fic: Love the Way You Do So

2010-01-06T01:28:18Z

Title: Love the Way You Do So
Fandom and Pairing: LOTR RPS Viggo/Orlando
Rating: PG
Warnings None
Summary: merryviggorli fic written for jasmineskie who request a private celebration of the 10th anniversary of Viggo joining the Rings cast.
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. I have no personal knowledge of Orlando or Viggo's lives. No profit is made from this story.
Credit: Title borrowed from the Erasure song of the same name.

Over the years Orlando had become so used to the trappings of celebrity that he barely thought about them, but on days like this when he borrowed a friend’s jet so he could fly to England, spend less than a day with Viggo and fly back before anyone noticed he’d gone, he couldn’t help but marvel at his life. For no one else, but Viggo would he even attempt such a thing. He hated thinking about how often they’d both done it, but the time together was more than worth the inconvenience.

Orlando knew he should try and sleep on the plane, but he was too excited to relax. Viggo had no idea he was coming, and imagining his reaction just added to the anticipation. Luckily, Viggo’s manager loved him so an extra key to Viggo’s room as well as secure passage to the hotel had already been secured. Orlando had also been assured that Viggo’s plans for the evening would be canceled at the last minute, leaving him no time to find something else to do.

Once Orlando arrived at Viggo’s hotel, he realized he had a few hours to kill before there was any chance of Viggo arriving. He took a quick shower and debated ordering room service. In the end, he decided he wasn’t really hungry, and the fewer people he interacted with before Viggo arrived the better. Instead, he stretched out on the bed for a quick nap.

He awoke to a kiss.

“You might be the one dreaming, but I’m the one wondering if this real,” Viggo whispered when the kiss ended.

“Don’t worry, I’m very real,” Orlando teased as he opened his eyes. A huge smile lit up his face when he saw Viggo leaning over him, and Orlando quickly pulled him closer for another kiss. “I had to be with you today.”

Viggo’s expression quickly changed from one of surprise and pleasure to concern. “Orli, is something wrong?”

“No, everything’s good,” Orlando hastily reassured him. “But when I realized what today was. I knew I had to find a way to see you. Can you believe it’s been ten years, Old Man?” Orlando shook his head; he still found it hard to believe.

“Ten years?” Viggo sounded puzzled, then his eyes widened. “Oh shit, babe, I forgot.”

“Vig, you’re in the middle of a damn publicity tour. Do you even know what day it is?”

Viggo’s eyes narrowed as he thought about, then he shook his head and laughed. “No fucking clue.” He flopped down next to Orlando on the bed. “So Elf Boy, what do you have planned for this momentous occasion?”

Orlando smiled at the old nickname. He rarely heard it any more even from Viggo. “Nothing, love. Just kick off your shoes and stay awhile.”

“So you hopped a plane and flew across the ocean just to spend the night with me?” Viggo rose from the bed just long enough to strip off most of his clothes before rejoining Orlando.

“Anytime I can. You know that.” Orlando saw flash of disappointment in Viggo’s eyes when he didn’t contradict his timeframe, but he ignored it just like he knew Viggo ignored the sadness he heard in Orlando’s voice. They already knew they wouldn’t be able to spend Viggo’s birthday together. This night was a gift.

Orlando turned onto his side so he was facing Viggo. He took a moment to study Viggo, to see all the little details a photo couldn’t capture, and he knew Viggo was doing the same. He reached toward him, tracing the lines of his face then gently twisting a lock of hair that slid over his fingers.

“I like your hair long,” he said softly. It wasn’t as dark as it had been in New Zealand, but it suited Viggo as he was today.

Viggo smiled and smoothed his hands over Orlando’s head. “I like you hair this way too.”

“What, short?” Viggo usually preferred his hair longer and curlier.

“No, on your head.”

“Cunt,” Orlando laughed.

“Always,” Viggo agreed, reaching out and trying to tickle Orlando.

Orlando grabbed his hands and pushed then behind Viggo’s back. Their chests pressed against each other, and Orlando rested his head in the hollow of Viggo’s neck. “Do you know what I thought when I first met you?”

“That I was a big cunt?” Viggo grunted as he twisted his hands free the rolled onto his back, pulling Orlando on top of him.

“No, that came later. The first thing I thought was that I wanted to shag you senseless.”

Viggo raised an eyebrow. “Come on, flatter an old man’s ego,” he urged when Orlando didn’t say more.

“I’d already heard all about you from the Hobbitts. And you know how they are,” Orlando rolled his eyes. He sat up and leaned against the headboard. Viggo stretched out and rested his head in Orlando’s lap. Orlando couldn’t help reaching down and playing with Viggo’s hair while they talked. There was nothing new in what he was telling Viggo, but they hadn’t reminisced about New Zealand in a while. They both found the memories comforting.

“They made you sound like some big swaggering American hero. Maybe John Wayne, yeah? From a distance you almost looked the part. You were dirty and sweaty and swinging your sword around while you walked But when you spoke, you were nothing like what I expected. You were kind and unassuming, but there was this intensity in your eyes. Sexy as fuck. Still are.”

“So it was lust at first sight?”

“Something like that,” Orlando agreed. He looked into the eyes that had captured his attention that first day and knew Viggo wasn’t fooled.

“When I first saw you, when I first saw Legolas,” Viggo corrected. “I found a piece of Arragorn’s heart I didn’t know I’d been missing. I didn’t realize it was my heart you held.”

“He always was smarter than you.” Orlando kept his voice light, but he knew his face betrayed how much Viggo’s words affected him. Orlando never doubted Viggo’s love, but being with him always reminded him of just how much it meant to him.

“I knew he would change my life, but I never dreamed of how.”

“Now who’s the flatterer.”

Viggo shook his head. “It’s not flattery, Orli, and you know it. You were breathtaking. You were this brash young kid, funny and cocky and not afraid of anything. But I knew the wisdom and grace you brought to Legolas came from you. I wanted to know you, to know how you came to be all those things. If I wasn’t such a stubborn old fool, I would have realized much sooner it was love not curiosity.”

“I love you, too. Stubborness and all. Maybe that’s what has kept us together all these years.”

“Ten years. It feels like a lifetime and only a day.” Viggo’s eyes misted. “I still have so much to learn about you, so much I want to do with you.”

“You have forever, you know that.” Orlando blinked to clear his own eyes.

“If you knew then where we would be in ten years, would it change anything?”

“Fuck yeah. I would have shagged you senseless the first day.”

“So what’s stopping you now?”

Orlando didn’t bother to answer. They’d have plenty of time to talk later. Much later.

QAF Fic: The Shadows and the Frame

2010-01-06T01:21:18Z

I was going to post my qaf_giftxchnge today, but I realized I have two other challenge fics I never posted here so I am going to spread them out a bit for you.

Title: The Shadows and the Frame
Fandom and Pairing: QAF, Brian/Justin
Author's Note: Written for the Moving Prompt Mini-Challenge at qaf_prompts. Thank you to _alicesprings for betaing this story for me! The title comes from a k.d. lang song.

When Lindsay came back downstairs after putting the kids to bed, she found him standing in front of the painting. She stood next to him, resting her hand against his back. “It was good of you to come.”

“I wanted to.” Justin turned to her and smiled softly.

“I’m sure Brian would be here if he could.”

“I know.”

The look he gave her reminded her that Justin didn’t need her reassurances any more. He hadn’t in a long time. “How long has it been?”

“Four months,” he answered quickly, almost cutting her off.

Lindsay winced. She couldn’t imagine being away from Mel for that long. “I’m sorry. You could have gone to Pittsburgh. We would have understood.”

Justin shook his head. “We’ve had this planned for a long time, and the kids were expecting us. At least one of us needed to be here.”

“They adore you, you know. It means the world to them that you’re here.”

Justin turned to fully face her then and took her hand. “Lindsay, it’s OK. I’m not angry or disappointed. I want to be here. You don’t have to apologize for that or for anyone.”

What happened to the boy who’d slept on her couch and desperately searched for any sign that Brian loved him? She searched his face and found traces of that boy in the man he’d become, but the differences brought home the fact the he knew Brian in ways she didn’t, and he didn’t need her to translate anymore. Not sure of what to say, she turned her attention back to the painting, his long ago going away gift to them.

“Do you remember helping us pack before we moved? You told Melanie you couldn’t help thinking of the picture of Ellis Island. Sometimes when I look at this, I wonder if you painted a bit of your own dreams into it.”

“I’d like to think I’m more subtle than that,” Justin said with a slight laugh.

“I didn’t mean it as a criticism. But with everything that was going on at the time, I can’t help but think...”

“I was painting my unvoiced desire to go to New York?” Justin finished. “I meant it when I told you New York wasn’t my opportunity of a lifetime.”

“But you still went.”

“It was still one hell of an opportunity.”

Justin flashed an open, happy smile, and Lindsay was tempted to change the subject. But she watched the fading light cast shadows over the painting she loved so much, and she spoke without thinking. “But not your dream?”

“Part of my dream, just not all of it.”

“When I gave Brian the article, I wasn’t trying to interfere.”

“You were doing what you thought was best for me. And you weren’t wrong. If I hadn’t gone, it would have stayed between us. “He, we,” Justin said more gently, “would have wondered.”

Like she and Brian wondered. Justin didn’t say it, but he knew. Maybe it was her own dream she saw in his painting. But she’d made her peace with that dream, found a new one, in Canada of all places. And Brian had Kinnetik.

“And now you don’t have to wonder. You’ve really made a name for yourself.”

“Brian and I are good.” Justin answered the question she hadn’t been able to ask since he’d arrived alone. “And this is just a painting that means a millions things and nothing. You know that.”

“It’s not just a painting. It’s a Justin Taylor, and that means something.” She let him lead her into the kitchen where a bottle of wine was waiting. They spent the rest of the evening talking about art without any subtext or her less than subtle probing for information. Still, she noticed how at times he talked about New York as if it were already in the past. And that night when she went to bed, she told Melanie they needed to hold off on making plans to spend next Christmas in New York.

QAF Gift Exchange

2009-10-11T15:23:17Z

I signed up. Have you?

Seriously, I hope ALL of you sign up! I love this exchange so much because it really has something for everyone. Since it is open to both fic and graphics, there are lots of ways to participate and so many possibilities for requests. I have been amazed by the lovely gifts I've received, and had so much fun fulfilling my own requests.

I also think it is a great opportunity to request that fic or graphic you've always wanted, but wasn't sure anyone would create. And it allows us to step out of our comfort zone as artists if we choose to. I've written Ted/Blake, Brian preseries, and a PWP none of which I would have thought of on my own, but I am very fond of all three of those stories. Participating in the gift exchange has changed the way I write and think about writing.

So if you haven't signed up, go to qaf_giftxchnge right now and ask for something you really want and volunteer to create something fabulous for a fellow fan. Have fun! You won't regret it.

Lot of QAF Drabbles

2009-10-02T00:30:10Z

I have a lot of drabbles to post here, but first I wanted to apologize. I've been a little stressed out lately which means I neglect a lot things. I have been very bad about responding to comments, and I feel terrible about it. Please know I am thrilled every time I get a comment from one of you, and I never want you to think I don't appreciate them. I will tryo to do better about responding promptly.

Now on to the drabbles!

Prompt: Past Events

Title: Good Genes

“We did it! I’m pregnant!”

Brian held the phone away from his ear. Lindsay hadn’t even given him a chance to say hello. He listened to her babble about pregnancy tests and morning sickness and due dates all the while resisting the urge to shout “No.”

He wanted to take it back, but it was too late. Brian knew he was never meant to be a father even if it was in name only, but now he was stuck.

When Lindsay finally paused for breath, he responded the only way he could. “I told Melanie I was the better man.”

Prompt: Jealousy

Title: Standing on the Outside

Debbie called Jennifer at least once a week with updates, full of stories about what Justin was doing in school, how the customers at the diner loved him, and the status his ever evolving relationship with Brian.

Jennifer soaked up every detail eagerly, both profoundly grateful to Debbie for helping her stay part of Justin’s life and deeply resentful that Debbie was the one to share all this with him. While Jennifer struggled to accept Justin’s sexuality and new life, Debbie stepped in and loved him just as he was. Jennifer wondered if he’d ever really be her son again.

Prompt: Couples

Title: Leave Me Starblind
Notes: Title borrowed from an Erasure song.

Justin quickly discovered that sex was awesome and overwhelming and sex with Brian Kinney was fucking mind-blowing. At first every touch, every look from Brian went straight to his dick, and he couldn’t form a single thought that didn’t include the word “orgasm” in big blinking letters.

It took time, fucking other guys, watching Brian fuck other guys for him to realize that sex was mostly about getting off, but sometimes the way Brian touched him or looked at him or kissed him was as much about all things Brian wouldn’t say to him as it was about feeling good.

Title: Tough Enough

Drew had been taught that it was heroic to play through pain. Running on a sprained ankle or throwing with a broken wrist, no matter how many drugs, both legal and illegal, you used to dull the pain, made you brave. The more you acted like you didn’t feel the pain, the more you were applauded.

Drew realized long ago that Emmett was his hero. But it wasn’t until Emmett started telling him stories about growing up in Hazelhurst that Drew realized how much of his life he’d spent playing through his pain even if all his wounds weren’t physical.

Title: Not Your Ordinary In-Laws

Debbie thought of Vic every day, but some days all she could remember were the ways she failed him. She couldn’t fix the past so focused on the things she could do-helping with Vic Grassi House and taking care of Rodney.

She knew Rodney had no family of his own so she made him part of hers. After the first few holidays, he stopped protesting. Rodney could never replace Vic, but she loved him for the happiness he’d given her brother.

When she and Carl finally married, it felt almost natural to have him walk her down the aisle.

Prompt: Rain

Title: No Sound but the Rain

Justin dashed to his apartment through the increasingly heavy rain. By the time he’d trudged up the stairs, he was damp and shivering.

Justin stepped out of the bathroom, still drying his hair, and called out to. . . no one. Sighing, he heated a can of soup and debated eating in front of the TV or computer. In the end, it was easier to stand at the stove. Having rushed through the rain instead of lingering at the markets and shops along his route home, the evening stretched endlessly in front of him. New York was always lonelier when it rained.

Prompt: Season Six

Title: Movie Night
Notes: For fun_demented who gave me the prompt I am just always dying to read about Britin. How about an end of summer drabble, Labor Day weekend? Movies on the grass at Britin? Swimming in the pool?

The kids were half-asleep before it was dark enough to use the state of the art outdoor projector Brian bought the same day he’d purchased four first class tickets from Toronto to Pittsburgh.

Debbie passed out bags filled with hot, buttery popcorn as the familiar Disney music began to play. Lindsay followed with juice boxes while Ben discreetly handed out beers to the adults.

Gus and JR dragged their sleeping bags right onto the lawn. Ted and Blake’s daughter sat between them for awhile until, still nervous around so much family, she curled up on the swing with her fathers.

Title: Private Screening
Notes: Continuation of Movie Night

Somehow the kids managed to stay awake until the credits. The marathon popcorn fight started by Michael and Brian, but joined by everyone , may have helped. But by the time the yard was cleaned up, all three kids were sound asleep.

Emmett helped Ted and Blake to their car while Michael and Ben carried Gus and JR into the house.

“I can’t believe you bought this,” Justin said once he and Brian were alone dismantling the projector.

Brian pulled Justin close, kissing him deeply. “They’re leaving in two days, and my cock will look fucking huge on that screen.”

Title: Joining Up
Notes: For maxymama who gave me the prompt Deja vu, new adventure, a dream is fulfilled, a dream is let go, the past comes back to haunt, the future is here, the present is a gift- take your time. This drabble falls between my previous drabbles Sinking Ship and Smooth Sailing. You made need to reread those for this to make sense.

Brian came home to find Justin sitting in the dark. He noticed his bag on floor and half-expected Justin to explain why they needed to move on again.

“Hey,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound as uncertain as he felt.

Justin smiled, and Brian realized his bag was open and partially unpacked.

“I hear Kinnetik’s looking for an Art Director who will work for room, board, and mind-blowing sex.”

Brian wanted to say no, wanted to tell him not to sacrifice his dreams to save Brian’s, but he’d never been that unselfish. Instead, he held out his arms, “Welcome aboard.”

Title: Taking the Plunge
Notes: For secretsolitaire who gave me the prompt What about Ted and Blake on an anniversary (or maybe even talking about which anniversary to use)?

Ted stood outside, Blake’s gift a heavy weight in his pocket, wondering if he should wait for another day. Then he reminded himself that he choose this day for a reason even if he wasn’t sure Blake would remember.

Pinning down an anniversary in a relationship filled with endings and beginnings was virtually impossible. His birthday was the logical choice, but it never felt right to Ted. It was this day, a year ago, when Blake moved in again, that Ted finally believed they had their timing right.

Ted opened the door to a candle-lit table and another new beginning.

Prompt: Five Words (hurt, view, wind, lips, pillow)

Title: Beaches

Carl walked in and rushed to the couch when he spotted Debbie and Emmett sitting together, pillows clutched to their chests, lips quivering, and tears streaming down their faces.

“What’s wrong, Sweetheart? Is someone hurt?” Carl dropped to his knees in front of Debbie.

“Barbara Hershey,” Emmett sniffed, pointing to the screen.

“Cancer,” Debbie added. “Now stop blocking the view. Bette’s about to sing ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’.”

“Oh for God’s sake,” Carl muttered under his breath as he struggled to his feet. He headed for the stairs, and, out of spite, took the carton of Rocky Road with him.

Prompt: Hard

Title: Delayed Gratification

Justin stepped out of the bathroom, naked, skin still damp and dick half-hard.

Brian raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t jerk off in the shower?”

“Thought about it.” Justin climbed into the bed and straddled Brian’s hips. “Then I thought about you, your hands,” Justin entwined his fingers with Brian’s, leaning down until their faces almost touched. “Your mouth,” he whispered before their lips met in a soft kiss.

“I thought about how good your fingers feel on my balls when you suck me off, and I decided you were worth the wait.”

“Smart boy,” Brian said before proving him right.

Prompt: Hope

Title: Spa Day

“I hope you’re happy!”

Emmett couldn’t stop laughing long enough to respond.

“This is all your fault. ‘Have some fun, Ted. You can make a spa party from your refrigerator, Ted.’ I never should have listened to you.”

Emmett composed himself. “I told you to make an avocado mask and put cucumber slices on your eyes. I never said anything about blueberries!” One look at Ted’s indignant, purple-stained face sent Emmett back into gales of laughter.

“What am I going to do now?”

“Perhaps a nice oatmeal bath.”

Emmett ducked as the empty pint of blueberries sailed over his head.

Prompt: Quotations

Title: Slight of Hand
Notes: I used the quote "Maybe one day the timing will be right."

“Ted and I went over the new financials.”

“How does it look for Kinnetik New York?”

“What did we say last year?”

“The same thing you’ve said every year, ‘maybe one day the timing will be right,’” Justin quoted with a sigh before rallying. “I’ve been thinking about moving back.”

“You’re not leaving New York,” Brian said decisively. “Not when Kinnetik’s ready to expand.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“You’re spending the first week on the couch.”

“No, I’m not.”

“No, you’re not,” Justin admitted. “But you owe me at least fifty blow jobs.”

“I can live with that.”

Title: Midnight Snack
Notes: I used the quote "Creativity doesn't punch a time clock."

“Emmett? It’s the middle of the fucking night! What are you doing?”

Emmett shrugged and pulled a casserole from the oven.

“Do I smell bacon?” Carl wandered into the kitchen.

“It’s a proscuitto and smoked mozzarella strata with Italian hashbrowns,” Emmett explained.

Talking over Emmett, Debbie added, “Emmett’s trying to cook his way out of a broken heart.”

“My heart’s not broken!” Emmett insisted. “I’m catering a brunch Sunday, and creativity doesn’t punch a time clock.”

“Neither does an empty stomach.” Carl grabbed a plate. “No point in wasting all this food.”

Bowing to the inevitable, Debbie started the coffee.

Prompt: Season 3

Title: Turn a Deaf Ear

Brian flexed his aching hand, staring at it in disbelief. He’d hit Michael, something he swore he’d never do. But Michael’s words echoed in his head. You might as well have just left him lying there. There was no fucking way Brian could let Michael finish that sentence, not knowing how it ended.

Not when that image still haunted his dreams. Christ, he’d rather have Justin alive and fucking every love-struck fool at PIFA than lying motionless in a pool of blood. Brian had never said those words, but Michael had always understood the things he couldn’t say. Until now.

Prompt: At the gym

Title:Shower Scene, Take Two

Justin breathed a sigh of relief as Brian drove them away from his parent’s house; he wouldn’t have survived under Craig’s rules. Luckily, Brian had saved him. Justin wanted to thank him, but Brian never even looked at him during the ride home.

At the loft, Brian headed straight for the shower. Thinking of the story Brian had told him the first night about sucking his gym teacher off in the shower with his clothes on, Justin figured out the perfect way to thank Brian, one Brian would understand and appreciate. Justin straightened his tie and stepped into the shower.

Prompt: Babylon

Title:Sacrilege

“So Brian, Justin tells me things are going well at Babylon.” Lindsay waved at Gus as he reached the top of the slide.

“Thank fucking God. Sometimes I forget how fickle fags are.”

“So easily distracted by a pretty face, or ass, in your case,” Lindsay teased.

“They came to their senses. Not every pretty face lives up to the hype.”

“I was wondering, since you’re in charge, if you would be bringing back Dyke Night?” Lindsay gave Brian her sweetest smile.

Brian snorted. “I’ll schedule it right between Senior Night and Family Night.”

“You could have just said no.”

Prompt: Money

Title:Dressed for Success

Justin didn’t even pretend to be surprised to find Brian waiting for him when he finished his shift at the diner.

“You know,Brian,” he said, linking their arms. “If I’m working so I can repay you for New York, leaving a thirty dollar tip kind of defeats the purpose.”

Brain looked Justin over, from the jeans that hugged his ass to the t-shirt so tight you could see his nipple ring from across the room, and smirked. “Does it?”

Justin laughed. “The guy at table six left me a fifty.”

“The guy at table six isn’t going to blow you.”

Prompt: Sunshine

Title: Better Than Snookums

“So what’s it like?” Daphne asked after a week.

“Not bad,” Justin shrugged. “Not as cool as living with Brian, but better than home. Except. . .”

“Except what?” Daphne prodded, not wanting to think about how Justin couldn’t go home. As much as her parents annoyed her, she couldn’t imagine living somewhere else.

“Debbie calls me Sunshine,” Justin complained. “All the time.”

Daphne giggled. “It could be worse.”

“Whatever. I have to go, or I’ll be late for work.” Justin bumped her gently before turning away.

“See you later, Sunshine!” Daphne called out, laughing even harder when Justin flipped her off.

QAF Drabbles

2009-08-20T02:02:28Z

I really need to do these drabble posts more often, but I won’t dump all of them on you at once. Consider yourself warned for my usual mix of pairings and ratings.

Prompt: Brian

Title: What's in a Name

Brian, Brian, Brian. Daphne was so sick of hearing that name, but he was all Justin talked about. She didn’t get it. He wasn’t nearly as hot as Justin made him out to be, and most of the time, he didn’t seem to even like Justin. All he wanted was sex. Justin could do better. If he just looked around he’d see there were people who really cared about him. But all he cared about was Brian Kinney.

Daphne knew one thing. If that was the face of God, her mother was never guilting her into going to church again.

Prompt: Loyalty

Title: Sinking Ship

“Fuck.”

“Brian,” Ted began, but Brian held up a hand to stop him.

The reports were clear. It was bad enough reading about Kinnetik’s likely demise; Brian couldn’t stomach Ted explaining it in excruciating detail. And there were other things to attend to, like Ted’s career. Brian’s inattention may have led to this mess, but he would salvage what he could. “Theodore, I spoke to Leo Brown, and he has a comparable position for you at Brown Athletics if you want it.”

“No way. If we go down, we go down fighting, together.”

“Well then, batten down the hatches, Matey.”

Title: Smooth Sailing
Notes: Sequel to Sinking Ship written for vl_redreign who wanted Ted to fix it!

“Brian, I don’t know what to say.”

“A gold watch seemed so cliché,” Brian shrugged, striving for nonchalance.

The premium box seats for Pittsburgh’s Opera Season cost him nothing but money, but securing luxury hotel accommodations and tickets for opening night at The Met proved more difficult. Five years after Kinnetik’s near demise, Brian again had the connections to do it.

They’d made big sacrifices-selling Britin, Justin leaving New York to become Kinnetik’s art department, Ted working essentially for free, Blake filling in where he could. Yet, Ted never once lost faith.

Brian met his eyes, “And you deserve it.”

Prompt: Scream

Title: Worth the Wait

Justin rarely joined Brian when he entertained clients, but the Ambrose’s had lost a son to AIDS in the eighties and insisted on meeting Brian’s partner. They were a sweet couple, filthy rich, but also dull as dirt.

“If he mentions his colon one more time, I’m going to scream,” Justin hissed as the waiter set their plates down.

“Just keep smiling, and later you can scream as loud as you want while I pound your ass with my cock.” Brian whispered while pretending to brush back a lock of Justin’s hair.

Watching them, Mrs. Abrose sighed, “Aren’t they cute.”

Title: Beacon

Emmett entered the diner with a flourish, causing Brian to shade his eyes as he approached. “Honeycutt, what the fuck?”

“Don’t you love it!” Emmett did a slow pirouette, showing off the tight neon yellow shirt he’d paired with his favorite tangerine leather pants. “I look at all those clouds and decided I needed an outfit that screamed. . .”

“Colorblindness?”

“Spring!” Emmett finished.

“You look like the victim of a highlighter explosion.”

Before Emmett could protest, Debbie came over. “I heard it was going to be foggy tonight. Em, are you standing on top of Babylon to guide the queers home?”

Prompt: St. James Academy
Title: The Best Intentions

The Dean rose and shook their hands. “It was a pleasure meeting both of you, and I hope to hear from you soon. Remember, we only have a few openings remaining, and I’d love to see one of them go to Justin.”

Jennifer turned to Craig as soon as they walked outside, “What do you think?”

“Did you see the price? It’s almost as much as Dartmouth.”

“I know it’s a lot of money, but look at this place.” Jennifer held out her arms, smiling as she looked over the beautiful campus. “Justin will be happy here. He’ll be safe.”

Prompt: Bedhead Hair

Title: Familiar Sight

Justin woke as Brian was coming out of the bathroom. He watched Brian yawn and shove his hands into his already mussed hair, making it stick out in even more impossible angles. He never thought he’d miss Brian’s bedhead, but it was a surprisingly welcome sight.

He must have smiled because Brian made a face and asked, “What?”

A quick joke was on the tip of Justin’s tongue, but Brian was sensitive about his hair. Thinking of all the mornings he woke up alone, Justin chose to remain silent. He just shook his head and welcomed Brian back to bed.

Prompt: Summer

Title: Never Going Home
Note: Thank you to flamencanyc for being such patient and helpful beta! Title taken from the Erasure song "Home" because it's late, and I'm too tired to think of one,

The first week of August, Pittsburgh was so hot and humid that when Emmett stepped out of his apartment he felt like he was back home in Hazelhurst. But then he walked down Liberty Avenue, and while people waved or stopped to say hello, not one person spit on him.

When he reached the Diner, he was soaked with sweat and dying for some of his Momma’s lemonade. But after being greeted with hugs, and teasing backed by love not hate, he remembered that Debbie’s lemon bars were even better.

Pittsburgh might not be Hazelhurst, but it certainly was home.

Title: Not According To Plan

Daphne,

September called AGAIN. She wants to go to the mall. Call her back!

Love,
Mom

Daphne crumbled up the note and threw it away. Her mom must be really worried if she wanted Daphne to go shopping instead getting ahead on her first semester reading. Daphne didn’t have time for either.

The summer before college was supposed to be the best of their lives. She and Justin planned to spend it hanging out by the pool, dancing at Babylon, and smoking Brian’s joints.

She was still spending all her time with Justin. He just didn’t know she was there.

QAF Fic: Tapestry

2009-07-19T13:50:44Z

Tapestry is my final entry for the Clusterf#ck Challenge. This fic took over my life for a while. I spent a lot of time planning it and trying to decide if I could make it work. Than in my typical style, I wrote it at the last minute so I'm not sure it worked as well as it could have. Some of the people who left feedback for it, were kind enough to say it read like an episode. That was my goal so I'm thrilled to know I didn't completely miss the mark. I wrote this fic for people like me who in addition to missing Brian and Justin, miss Queer as Folk. I tried to think of stories that were true to each character, but also had some themes in common. Thank you so much to xie_xie_xie, notreallyme10, testdog65, and fansee for coming up with a fabulous challenge that allowed me to experiment with this type of story. I hope you enjoy it!

Title: Tapestry
Fandom and Pairing: QAF, various pairings
Theme: Written for the qaf_challenges's Clusterf#ck Challenge theme of Complications.
Summary: When lives are woven together, there are bound to be a few snags.
Rating: NC-17
Notes: While this fic features Brian and Justin, it is very much an ensemble piece, and all the canon characters have a storyline. It really took a village to bring this to you. Special thanks to noteverything for encouraging me to write it. Huge thanks to outlander and fun_demented for taking on the task of betaing for me. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

Emmett slid into the booth hastily, pushing Michael into Brian and causing him to spill his coffee. “Thank God you’re all here,” Emmett sighed drastically.

“Yeah, you’d never expect to find us in the diner on a Thursday morning would you?” Brian replied, flicking some of the spilled coffee in Emmett’s direction as Michael attempted to mop it up.

“Stop being such a crab. I’m in desperate need of advice here. As you know, Bruce and I are at a delicate stage in our relationship, and his birthday is Sunday. I need a gift that says ‘I love you and want to keep living with you and having hot sex’ not one that says ‘I love you and want to have your babies.’”

“Pregnancy really would ruin your figure.” Ted nodded, but couldn’t keep from giggling.

“It’s not funny Teddy. It’s just Bruce is so wonderfully masculine, and since I moved in I’ve been doing some redecorating, and he loves my cooking. I don’t want him to think I’m turning into a housewife, but I also want to get him something special. It’s hopeless.” Emmett slumped against the back of the booth.

“Get him a butt plug.”

“Brian, a butt plug is not an all occasion gift!” Michael chastised.

“Sure it is. Bruce sure as hell won’t think of you as a housewife when he’s begging you to take the plug out and fuck him. And that ass in the air for you is a gift to yourself,” Brian finished smugly.

“You do have a point,” Emmett mused.

But Michael thought there was something odd about what Brian has said. “What do you mean ‘that ass?’ Don’t tell me you and Bruce. . .”

Brian smiled smugly. Emmett sat back up. “Bruce never said anything.”

“He probably didn’t want to give you performance anxiety,” Brian shrugged. “Besides, it was a long time ago. Just after I got back from college.”

“I’m surprised you remember,” Michael asked suspiciously.

“Emmett knows why. There are some asses you never forget. Isn’t that right Emmett?”

Emmett blushed furiously. “Yes, well. So, so, Ted” Emmett stuttered. “ Ted, any ideas?” He turned his attention to the other side of the table where Ted and Blake had been whispering to each other and only partly following the rest of the conversation.

“Why don’t you take him somewhere? Get out of the house for a while and go to a concert or something.”

“Not a bad idea, but with my luck some random gang war would break out and he’d get called into work. The trials of loving a cop. Right, Debbie?” Emmett asked as she arrived with more coffee.

“What honey?” Debbie refilled their cups and headed to the next table without bothering to wait for an answer.

“As fascinating as the conversation has been, some of us have work to do.” Brian shoved Michael into Emmett and they both scrambled out of the booth. “A butt plug, Honeycutt. You won’t regret it. Theodore,” Brian called as he reached the door.

“Right behind you, Brian,” Ted answered as he and Blake stood. Ted gave Blake a quick kiss. “I’d better go. It’s never a good idea to leave the boss alone at the office for long.”

“Hey,” Blake reached out and grabbed Ted’s arm before he could go. “I’m going to a meeting after work. Will you be there?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ted agreed, but he didn’t meet Blake’s eyes.

“Ted, it’s been over a week. You really need. . .”

“I said I’d be there, now I really have to go.”

An hour later, Ted found himself in Brian’s office waiting while he finished a phone call. “I thought you were going to New York this weekend?” Ted asked when he realized Brian was canceling his plane tickets.

“I am, but I’m driving instead. Justin needs,” Brian cut himself off with a wave of his hand. “It’s not important. What is important is that there’s a change of plans for today’s meetings. Leo Brown has a crisis brewing with one of his suppliers so he isn’t coming.”

“Well, that clears up the afternoon. I just wish I hadn’t stayed so late last night getting the reports ready.”

“Don’t start planning a three hour lunch just yet. This is just a yearly status meeting not even a renewal so we don’t need Leo. Jason from their financial department is coming instead.”

“Well, here are the reports if you want to look them over before the meeting.”

Brian shook his head when Ted held the folders out to him. “If we don’t need Leo, we don’t need me either. I have more important things to do so just handle it.”

“Sure Bri, no problem.” Ted turned toward the door, then remembering exactly who Jason was, he turned back to Brian with a smile on his face. “Should I let Jason know that although you won’t be at the meeting, you’ll be happy to entertain him while he’s in town?”

“That won’t be necessary. As much as I enjoyed Jason’s hospitality when we were in Chicago, I no longer require any services from Brown’s financial department and won’t be returning the favor.” Brian leaned back in his chair and gave Ted a pointed look. “Try to make sure he’s not too disappointed.”

“I’ll do my best, but I doubt he’ll find me as hospitable.” As Ted exited the office he heard Brian ask Cynthia to get Jennifer on the phone. He spared the request only a moment’s curiosity as he mentally shifted gears and focused the reports Jason would be expecting.

Justin usually lingered on his way home from work especially when the weather was nice, but he rushed back to his apartment. Tomorrow he had a meeting with his agent which was sure to run over so he needed to get things ready for Brian’s visit now.

He stepped into the bedroom and suppressed the image of Brian sprawled across his sheets. It had been over a month since Brian’s last trip to New York, and if Justin started thinking about all the things he wanted to do to him, he’d end up jerking off and falling asleep instead of cleaning.

The apartment was tiny and Justin didn’t spend much time there so it didn’t take long to deal with the clutter that had accumulated. Once he put the dishes in to soak, he contemplated the current layout. He’d have to rearrange the furniture to accommodate his easel, and the limited space presented more of a challenge than he’d anticipated.

“Fuck.” Justin muttered when he realized, even on the third try, the place he’d moved the coffee/dining table wouldn’t work. He was tempted to give up on the whole project and let Brian figure it out, but after asking him to cancel his flight and drive the easel up, he couldn’t really expect him to move furniture around, too.

Justin had expected Brian to object to the change in plans, but he hadn’t. Generally he hated driving to the city since he couldn’t work while he drove like he could sitting on the plane, but he’d agreed without even bargaining for sexual favors. Justin could only assume he was happy to get the easel out of the loft since Justin never used it. Somehow, they always found other things to do when he was there.

He’d been thinking about trying some smaller pieces, and it was inconvenient as hell to head to the studio every time he wanted to paint for a little bit. Eying the room critically, Justin was sure he’d figured out the perfect way to arrange the furniture. He gritted his teeth and reached for the table again.

Jason’s flight was delayed so Ted met with him at the end of the day. The Brown Athletics contract could have been reviewed in less than an hour, but Ted found himself drawing the meeting out. It didn’t take Ted long to realize Jason was flirting with him, and while that would normally fluster him, there was something about Jason that put Ted at ease, and he found himself flirting back.

Jason was as intelligent and interesting as Ted remembered. And possibly even better looking, or maybe Ted just hadn’t paid enough attention since at their last meeting, Jason’s attention had been firmly focused on Brian. But Ted was looking now. Jason was tall and lean with sparkling blue eyes. A few years older than Ted, his hair had more grey than Ted remembered, but on him it was dignified and he carried it with an ease Ted both admired and envied.

When he noticed the city growing dark outside his window, Ted knew it was time to wrap things up. “Why don’t we leave these last few details for tomorrow? You must be tired after your trip.”

“A little,” Jason agreed. “Can you recommend a good restaurant?”

“I can do one better and take you there myself,” Ted heard himself offering.

“I’d like that. Will your partner be joining us?” Jason asked with a speculative glance at the ring Ted wore.

“No, he has a meeting tonight so it will just be the two of us.” Ted swallowed nervously.

“Lead the way.”

Jason guided Ted to the door with a hand on his back, leaving Ted to wonder just who was leading. But he pushed his doubts aside, and on the way to the restaurant called directly into Blake’s voicemail to let him know he was having dinner with a client and would be home late.

Melanie and Lindsay spent their anniversary, like most couples with small children do when a special occasion falls during the week, at home. Melanie picked up take-out from their favorite Greek restaurant after work. The kids still preferred hot dogs to moussaka and spanakopita so they waited until after Gus and JR were sleeping to eat.

Dinner was leisurely for once without any spilled drinks or requests for more ketchup. Using the money they saved not hiring a babysitter, they’d splurged on a good bottle of wine. They used the time to catch up with each other, sharing only the funny stories about work instead of the usual frustrations. Later they carried their last glasses of wine upstairs and finished them while filling the tub with warm water and lavender scented bubbles.

The bath was also meant to be leisurely, but just as the warmth from the water really started to seep into Lindsay’s bones, and she started to relax, Melanie began to lazily stroke her, the slick water making it easy for her fingers to slip inside. But lazy wasn’t enough for long, and Lindsay turned to straddle Mel and return the favor. The water was barely cool before they were coming against each other’s fingers and muffling their cries with frantic kisses.

“Your skin’s so soft now,” Lindsay whispered later once they’d settled in their bed. Melanie made a small noise in response, and Lindsay knew she should let her fall asleep. It was already late, and they’d both pay for the lack of sleep as well as the wine tomorrow, especially Melanie who started work two hours before Lindsay. But Melanie looked so beautiful and smelled so good, she couldn’t help herself.

“You’re still warm from the bath,” she began again, as she licked the underside of Melanie’s breast. She circled the nipple with her tongue and smiled when she heard Melanie’s indrawn breath. “I wanted to take things slow tonight. Figured we’d stay in the tub until we were all pruney. But I like this better.” She continued to lick Melanie’s breast while kneading the other with her hand.

“You do?” Melanie asked, arching her back and bringing her nipple back to Lindsay’s mouth.

“I do,” Lindsay murmured once she was done sucking. She moved down Melanie’s body licking the taunt, smooth skin of her abdomen. “You’re so relaxed and ready for me. So beautiful and open.”

She pressed Melanie’s legs back, then gently opened the folds of skin and flicked her tongue across Melanie’s opening before pushing inside. She thrust her tongue in deeply again and again until Melanie pulled at her hair urging her higher.

Lindsay replaced her tongue with her fingers, twisting them inside Melanie as she began to lick her clitoris.

“God, Linds.” Melanie moaned, shifting constantly against Lindsay.

Warmth flooded her own vagina, and Lindsay was tempted to touch herself. But she brought her free hand up where Melanie caught it and guided it to her breast. She fluttered her tongue against Melanie’s clitoris, setting off Melanie’s orgasm.

Lindsay waited for Melanie to still before removing her fingers. Drunk on the taste and feel of her wife, she moved quickly back up the bed, pausing briefly to look at the beauty of Mel’s pleasure-dazed face before kissing her deeply.

Melanie returned the kiss, and then with sudden speed, flipped Lindsay onto her back, straddling her hips. “What do you need, Babe?” she asked.

“Not much,” Lindsay groaned, pushing her hips up. “Just your hand.” Her breath caught in a gasp as Melanie slid two fingers inside before sliding them up to circle her clitoris.

“Christ, Linds you weren’t kidding. You’re so wet for me.” She moved her fingers along the same path again and again, moving a little faster each time. “Come for me, Lindsay,” she demanded before catching Lindsay’s mouth in another kiss.

Lindsay clasped Melanie’s wrist and pushed her fingers in deeper, then stroked her own clitoris as she came.

Michael was coming up the stairs with laundry when he heard Ben call his name. He paused at the landing and yelled back down, “If I dropped a sock, I’ll get it later. If I dropped your underwear consider it a hint.”

“Funny,” Ben called backed. “Do you know if Hunter needs his meds refilled? I have to stop at the pharmacy before class tomorrow.”

“I’m not sure, let me check.” Michael set the basket in the hall and walked into the bathroom. He picked up no less than three towels before he reached the medicine chest. “Would it kill him to actually use the hamper,” Michael bitched under his breath. Then he pulled the first bottle off the shelf and fell silent.

“Michael?” Ben set his book aside and realized almost an hour had passed since Michael went up stairs. “The pharmacy closes in a few minutes. Did you find anything?” Ben moved to the foot of the stairs. Just as he was about to go upstairs himself, Michael came to the top of the landing. The anger on his face startled Ben.

“I don’t know. What do you think?” Michael threw a pill bottle down the stairs.

Ben caught it after it bounced off the last step. The blue label let him know it was Hunter’s. Since their medication regimes were very different, Ben and Hunter had the pharmacy color code the labels as an extra precaution against confusing them. The bottle felt heavy, and he looked questionably at Michael. “I guess he doesn’t need a refill?” Ben wondered what he was missing.

“Look at the date.” Michael crossed his arms and glared at the bottle Ben was holding.

Ben examined the label more closely and closed his eyes in shock. The mostly full bottle had been filled over three months ago. “Maybe he misplaced this one.” Ben was grasping at straws, but he knew from the look on Michael’s face there was more to it than that.

“They’re all like that,” Michael said as he came down the stairs.

“What is he doing?” Ben asked helplessly. He followed Michael into the kitchen and took the beer Michael handed him, without really noticing what he was doing.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I’m going to kill him as soon as he gets home so it won’t matter.” Michael quickly finished his own beer and pulled out another.

“Michael,” Ben reached out and placed a calming hand on his husband’s shoulder. “We’ll figure it out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out.” Michael paced the small kitchen restlessly. “I don’t care what his excuse is; I’m still going to kill him.”

They were no closer to a reasonable explanation or solution when Hunter called an hour later to say he was working on a project for class and would be crashing with a friend in the dorms. Luckily, Ben answered the phone because on hearing Hunter’s voice Michael would have demanded his immediate return before loudly telling him everything they knew over the phone.

Instead, Ben inquired as to when Hunter would be home the next day then spent the remainder of the evening trying to calm both himself and Michael. They ran through every scenario they could imagine, but came up with no real answers before falling into a fitful sleep.

“Happy Anniversary,” Melanie said quietly. She was almost asleep, but she wanted to say it one more time. She was a lot more awake when Lindsay sat up and turned on the bedside light.

“Mel,” Lindsay said tentatively, handing Melanie an envelope. “I know we decided on no presents, but it isn’t from me.”

“Linds,” Melanie began to protest, but she couldn’t help but laugh when she looked over the contents of the envelope. “An Olivia Cruise. Brian can’t forget for one moment that we’re dykes, can he?”

“Brian?” Lindsay tried to sound innocent, but gave up when Melanie looked at her. “How’d you know it was him?”

“If it were anyone else, you wouldn’t be this nervous about giving it to me.”

“Are you mad?”

“About spending a week with you in the sun where we can kiss and touch and play without worrying who’s watching? Hell no.”

“Oh, good.” Lindsay sat up and began eagerly sharing the details of the trip. “It’s the same week we were planning to visit Pittsburgh so we’ve already arranged for the time off, and the kids can stay with their fathers.”

“Honey, it’s late. Can we figure it all out in the morning?”

“Sorry, I’m just so excited and keeping it a secret has been killing me.” Lindsay turned out the light and curled up against Melanie’s side.

“So how did you talk him into it?” Melanie asked.

“It was Brian’s idea, actually. Are you sure you’re not mad?”

Feeling Lindsay begin to tense up, Melanie stroked her arm. “Why would I be? It’s a generous gift, and God knows we can use a vacation. I’m never going to be Brian’s biggest fan. I still think he’s an asshole half the time, and I’m never going to use his own pain as an excuse for him hurting other people, but I don’t see him as the enemy any more.”

“I can’t tell you how good it is to hear that. I know you’ve gotten along better when he’s visited, but I thought it was just the distance.”

“That’s part of it,” Melanie admitted. “Brian’s easier to take in small doses. But it’s more than that. When we were in Pittsburgh, it was easy to blame Brian for everything especially our problems. Then we moved up here, and I thought everything would be perfect. Don’t take this the wrong way, Linds, but it’s not.”

“And that’s a good thing?”

“It made me realize we can fuck our lives up without Brian. We can fix them without him too, and once I figured that out, he didn’t seem like such a threat anymore. He’s just Gus’s father and your friend and a guy who annoys the fuck out of me most of the time.”

“That’s good.”

Melanie waited for Lindsay to say more, but she didn’t. “Is that all?” She finally prodded.

“You were expecting more?” Lindsay sounded amused. “I’m very proud of your willingness to admit that Brian isn’t the Big Bad Wolf.”

Melanie was tempted to let it go, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about what Lindsay wasn’t saying. “Does knowing that change how you feel about staying here?”

“What are you asking? Do you mean going back to Pittsburgh?”

“Is that what you want?” Melanie didn’t know what answer she was hoping for.

“Two years ago, I would have already been packing the car. But now, I don’t know. Gus is happy in school, and this is the only home JR has ever known. It’s been hard, but I feel like we’re finally building a life here. The thought of you and Brian getting along isn’t really enough to make me give up on that.”

“Wow. I really thought you jump at the chance to go back.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know either,” Melanie admitted. “There are times when I think it would be easier. I always thought it would make you happier. I wouldn’t mind being back in the US, being able to practice law again.”

Lindsay laughed. “At least we can still surprise each other. So where does that leave us?”

“Here, I think. Let’s just keep building our life, but now we know that we have options. We’ll take the kids back in a few months, and we can see how we feel then.”

“Sounds like a plan. I love you.”

“I love you too. Now let’s go to sleep so I can dream about you sunbathing topless while we sail the seas.” Melanie kissed Lindsay one more time before drifting off.

As Ted and Jason wrapped up their second meeting, Ted tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to hold onto the illusion that he was treating Jason like any other important client, like he had nothing to feel guilty about.

There was nothing to feel guilty about, he reminded himself firmly. Dinner may have lasted several hours, but they’d done nothing more than talk. They’d never even left the restaurant. It was the late hour that left Ted relieved when he found Blake already asleep once he finally made it home, not the low level flirting they’d indulged in throughout dinner.

The flirting has continued with a greater intensity. They may not have crossed any lines the night before, but they were headed in that direction. If Ted were being honest with himself, he’d admit the butterflies had nothing to do with guilt and everything to do with anticipation.

“So, I’ll just have Brian sign these and then messenger them over to your hotel. What time does your flight leave?” Ted tried to sound business like.

“I was thinking of staying another night, maybe the weekend,” Jason smiled and lifted an eyebrow in question. “Would you be available to show me the city?”

“The weekend sounds promising. Should we start with dinner? I know a great Mexican restaurant.”

“Why don’t we stay in and order room service tonight?”

Ted swallowed hard and stood up. “Room service has its benefits. Nice relaxed atmosphere, very flexible, flexible timing, I mean.” Realizing he had started to babble, Ted forced himself to stop talking.

“I’m looking forward to it.” Jason stood as well, but instead of leaving, he walked toward Ted. “Just so we’re clear,” he said softly before kissing Ted.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to have Ted echoing Jason’s “Tonight” long after he’d already left Ted’s office.

It was a few hours before Ted made it to Brian’s office. Brian barely glanced at the paperwork before signing it.

“Thanks, Brian. I’ll have Cynthia messenger this to Jason.” His hand was on the door when Brian called him back.

“You’re not handling that personally? I understood you and Jason were taking a very ‘hands on’ approach to these meetings.”

While the immediate impact of Jason’s kiss had faded, the insinuation in Brian’s words was enough to make Ted blush. He tried to bluff his way out of it. “Brown Athletics is one of our most important accounts.”

“I hadn’t realized how much you’d taken some of my negotiating techniques to heart.”

“You are the best, Brian. Now I’ll just get these on their way.” Once again, Ted was a step away from freedom when Brian spoke.

“Theodore, as much as I am enjoying your attempts at evasion, you should remember that nothing happens in this office that I don’t know about. Nothing.”

Ted squared his shoulders and reminded himself that there was some truth to the saying that the best defense was a good offense. “Like I said, Brian, I learned from the best.”

“Ted, cut the bullshit. What the fuck are you doing?”

Brian looked genuinely puzzled, but Ted didn’t want to be questioned. “Getting some.”

“And what does your darling hubby have to say about that?”

“Since when do you give a fuck about my marriage or anyone else’s for that matter. You’ve never been a fan of fidelity.” Ted wasn’t going to let Brian of all people drag Blake into this.

“I don’t care about marriage Ted, but you do. You dragged me to your little ceremony, and I watched while you and Blake declared your undying love and fidelity to each other. And while I think it’s a big crock of shit, you meant every word of it. So again, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Stay out of it.”

“Oh, I’d like to, but what you forget is that I have a vested interest in the outcome of your little walk on the wild side. Otherwise I’d send you off to Jason with a few pointers. The way I see it if you actually go through with this, one of three things will happen. There’s a slim chance you tell Blake everything, and he proves to be smarter than I give him credit for by taking the opportunity to fuck some hot ex-junkie and you two rediscover the joy of variety. Most likely, he freaks and leaves you. Depressed and guilty you turn to drugs, and I lose my accountant. Or you keep your mouth shut, but eventually the guilt will get to you and you turn to drugs, and once again I’m out an accountant. Are you sensing a theme here, Ted?”

“Your concern for my wellbeing is overwhelming. Perhaps if I choose a replacement before I fall prey to drugs, you won’t feel inconvenienced.” Ted replied sarcastically.

“That would help. Or you could get your head out of your ass and think about what getting into Jason’s ass is going to cost you before you do anything you can’t take back.”

The look of genuine concern on Brian’s face evaporated Ted’s righteous anger. His shoulders slumped. “How do you and Justin do it?”

“Monogamy? We don’t,” Brian said dismissively.

“No, I mean when you first met, Justin looked at you like you were a God. And now he probably knows you better than anyone, even Michael. How do you deal with the fact that he’ll never see you as perfect again? Don’t you ever wish you go could back to a time before he knew all your faults?”

“If I want to be worshiped, I’ll go to Babylon or down to the Art Department. I don’t need that from Justin.”

Surprised that Brian had answered him at all, Ted didn’t push for more than that brief answer. “Some of us don’t have those options. Jason’s the first person in a long time to look at me without seeing the pathetic loser I used to be. He doesn’t care about my past or why I don’t drink. All he sees is a guy he’d like to fuck. I didn’t realize how much I missed that.”

“Look, Ted, as you pointed out, I’m the last person who should be giving relationship advice. I’m all for getting your needs met, and if you need something from Jason that Blake can’t give you, I say go for it. But in this case, maybe talk to Blake first.” Brian made a face as though saying the words pained him. “Maybe he needs something else too. There’s no reason you can’t have both.”

“Thanks, Brian, I appreciate your advice.” Ted finally made it out of the office and over to Cynthia’s desk. He knew it was the coward’s way out, but he included a note with the papers letting Jason know he would be tied up that evening and for the weekend. He would need all his courage to face Blake.

After Ted left, Brian looked at the clock and realized he could probably catch Justin before he left for work. “Hey,” he said once Justin answered. “Did you know, in some parallel universe, discussing third quarter profit margins is considered foreplay?”

“Would that parallel universe exist inside Kinnetik?” Justin asked, sounding both confused and amused.

“You don’t want to know. Trust me.”

“I do. Trust you and want you and miss you and. . .”

“I get the point,” Brian laughed. “I guess it’s a good thing that I’ll be there tonight.”

“A very good thing. I’ll try to be home before you get in, but you know how Miriam talks so no promises.”

“Don’t worry about it; I’ll let myself in. Later.”

“Later,” Justin repeated.

Brian set down the phone with a sigh and pulled out the fax Jennifer sent him. He looked it over three times before shoving it into his briefcase and heading to the diner.

Ben and Michael were both waiting for Hunter when he came home after his last class. “Hey, dudes,” he greeted them, surprised to find them at home in the middle of the day. “What’s up?”

“Hunter, there’s something we need to talk to you about. Why don’t you sit down,” Ben began.

Hunter looked at them warily, but sat down in the arm chair. “Are you two splitting up or is someone dying?” he asked with a nervous laugh.

“You’re going to wish it were something that simple,” Michael glared at Hunter before slamming the prescription bottle down on the coffee table. “Explain this.”

“Looks like a pill bottle to me.”

“Don’t get smart with me, young man. This should have been refilled months ago.”

“Well, it wasn’t.” Hunter crossed his arms defensively.

“Obviously. Now you want to fucking tell us why?” Michael’s voice rose with frustration and anger.

“No. If that’s all, I have a test to study for.” Hunter headed for the stairs, but Michael blocked his way.

“Sit the fuck down! You’re not going anywhere until you explain what the fuck was going through your pea-sized brain when you decided to stop taking your meds. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Michael!” Ben stood up and grabbed Michael’s arm. “Yelling at Hunter isn’t helping. Let me talk to him.”

Michael opened his mouth to protest, but Ben caught his eye. They looked at each other for a moment, and Ben knew Michael understood what he was asking for. Hunter stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching the exchange nervously.

Finally Michael relaxed and nodded. “Brian will be leaving soon, and I need to get some corrections for the next issue of Rage to him. I’ll just do that now.”

Ben stopped him for a kiss before he reached the door. “Thank you,” he whispered too quietly for Hunter to hear.

Once Michael left, Ben guided Hunter back into the living room. “Michael’s pretty upset, but what we both want to know is what’s going on.”

Hunter shrugged, “Nothing, I just decided not to bother with the meds.”

Ben took a deep breath and willed himself to remain calm. “You know that’s not an option. We talked about this when you were first diagnosed. You have to stick with the medication.”

“Why? My viral load is still undetectable. What’s the point in fighting a disease I don’t even really have yet?”

“It doesn’t work that way, and you know it. The risk you’re taking is enormous and unacceptable.”

“It’s better then ending up dead like Michael’s uncle. And you’ve had more problems with side effects than with anything else.”

“Without the medication I’d probably be dead by now, and that’s where you’ll be headed to if you don’t get back on track.” Ben stood up and started pacing. “This isn’t a game Hunter; it’s your life. And I can’t help you unless you start telling me the truth, God dammit!”

“I’m glad Michael left so we could discuss this calmly and rationally.” Hunter rolled his eyes.

“There’s nothing rational,” Ben began before the phone rang. “Fuck!”

“You might as well answer that,” Hunter said, already halfway up the stairs. “Because I don’t have anything else to say.”

Ben stood in the middle of the room, hands on his hips, glaring at the phone before the ringing got to be too much. He pasted a smile on his face. “Hello.”

“Ben, just the person I needed to talk to. It’s Emmett.”

“Hey, Emmett. What can I do for you?”

“I don’t know if Michael told you, but Bruce’s birthday is Sunday, and I’m trying to figure out what to get him.”

“I don’t know Bruce all that well,” Ben said, surprised that Emmett would want his advice. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“Well, unlike little old me, Bruce is quite the reader. I was hoping you might be able to suggest a few books he’d enjoy.”

“I can try. What does he usually read?”

“Let’s see here.”

Emmett rattled off some titles while Ben tried to ignore the sound of Hunter stomping around upstairs. He wasn’t sure if he was surprised to find even in his off duty hours, Bruce enjoyed thrillers and mysteries. He was able to recommend a few good authors Bruce wouldn’t have run across at the library, but ones Ben was confident he’d enjoy.

“If you want something a little different, a friend of mine has a small bookstore that specializes in older books. I imagine he has some excellent editions of Sherlock Holmes. Let me give you the address.” Ben gave him the information, and then tried to wrap up the call.

“Ben,” Emmett interrupted hesitantly. “I don’t mean to pry, but is everything ok?”

“Thanks for asking Emmett. It’s just some problems with Hunter.”

“Well, I‘m sure you and Michael will work it out. You two are the best fathers he could ask for.”

“It doesn’t feel that way at the moment,” Ben said ruefully.

“Just look at how far he’s come. Why, I barely recognize the scared, angry boy you and Michael first took in. No one could have done better.”

Emmett’s words sparked something in Ben’s mind. “Thanks Emmett. I think you may have helped me more than I helped you.”

Brian was in a meeting when Michael got to Kinnetik so he left everything with Cynthia and headed to the diner. He took a seat at the counter and asked the new waiter for coffee and a lemon bar. Debbie was the one to bring it out.

“Sweetheart! What a nice surprise. I don’t usually see you in the afternoon.”

“If that’s your way of telling me I’ve been neglecting you, I don’t want to hear it,” Michael snapped.

“OK, let’s try this again. Hey asshole, here’s your grub. Don’t forget to leave a tip. That better?” Debbie crossed her arms and gave Michael ‘the look.’

“Sorry, Ma.” Michael considered himself lucky to have gotten off without a smack to the head.

“Don’t ‘sorry Ma’ me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Hunter, I can’t believe, I mean what is he thinking,” Michael sighed in frustration. “How did you not kill me before I reached thirty?”

“Thirty! Honey if it wasn’t for restraint and a healthy fear of prison, you’d have never made it to twenty. And just think, in a few years you’ll have JR driving you crazy too.”

“Don’t sound so happy about it,” Michael grumbled.

“Every parent lives for the day their children begin to understand what hell they put them through.”

“I’m sorry I never realized how much it hurt you to watch me fuck up.”

Debbie’s eyes softened, and she gave Michael a loud kiss on the forehead. “That is why you are a wonderful parent. There’s nothing harder than watching your kid mess up and get hurt especially when you can see the pain coming from a mile away. But all you can do is stand on the sidelines and hope for the best. Don’t look at me like that. I may have encouraged loudly while standing on the sidelines, but trust me I felt helpless.”

“I love you Mom.”

”I love you too Michael, but if I don’t get table three their early bird special, there’s going to be a riot.”

When Debbie came back, Michael noticed she seemed to be moving a little slow. “You ok, Ma?”

“Just tired, Baby.”

“You were here this morning too. Why are you still working?”

“Double shift today. Only a few hours left.”

Michael’s eyes narrowed as he thought back. “You worked a double on Monday and one last week too. What’s going on?”

“Carl’s being forced into early retirement next month because of budget cuts, and his pension’s not what it used to be. I’m just picking up an extra shift here and there.”

“Ma, if you guys need money, Ben and I can help.”

“We’ll be fine. Thank God he’ll still have his benefits. That new cholesterol pill he takes is a fucking miracle, but it costs an arm and a leg. Carl’s looking for some security work too.”

“You should be thinking about retirement yourself not working yourself to death.”

Debbie rolled her eyes. “I’m not too old to pull my own weight around here, thank you very much. And I tried retirement once. This place and I need each other. Everything will be fine, don’t you worry.” Debbie patted his cheek and headed back to the kitchen.

“Easier said than done,” Michael mumbled under his breath as she walked away.

Ben heard the music as soon as he hit the landing. He knocked on Hunter’s door, but there was no response. “Come on, pal, you know we have to talk,” he called, knocking louder.

After a moment, the music stopped. Ben took that as an invitation and opened the door to find Hunter slouched against the headboard, knees pulled up in a classic defensive posture. Ben joined him on the bed and rested a hand on his knee. “Hunter, I’m sorry I yelled before. I promise to do a better job of listening.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Hunter shook his head. “I already told you everything.”

“We both know that was just an excuse. Tell me the real reason you’ve stopped taking your medication.” When Hunter remained silent and looked away, Ben began again. “I know being positive isn’t easy, and it’s something a lot of people don’t understand. But it won’t go away if you ignore it.”

“I know that. I’m not stupid.”

Then stop acting like it, Ben wanted to yell, but he didn’t. Thinking again about Emmett’s words, he tried a different approach. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I know that too,” Hunter interrupted. “Christ, if there’s one thing you and Michael have convinced me of it’s that.”

“Then what?” Ben asked quietly once again at a loss.

“What do you think about when you take your meds in the morning?” Hunter finally asked.

Ben thought about it before answering. “Not much really. They’re just part of my day. I’m usually too busy trying to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything to even think about them.”

“Did you ever think about him?”

“Paul, you mean? I did in the beginning when I was still angry and blamed him. Taking the pills was a reminder of what he’d done to me, and I clung to that resentment for a long time. But once I forgave him, it stopped being about him and was just about my own health.” Realizing at last where this was going, Ben took his son’s hand.

“Well I don’t exactly have one person to forgive do I?” Hunter said bitterly. “I used to wonder every morning about who gave it to me. Was it one of the quiet guys or someone who liked it rough? Did he pay extra for fucking me raw or did he just fucking demand it? Or was it some loser who paid me in weed instead of cash?”

“Jesus, Hunter, I’m so sorry,” Ben wished Michael were here. He might yell, but he also knew how to comfort.

“I don’t want you to be sorry; I want you to understand. I didn’t do this on purpose. I was running late one day and just forgot. When I went to take them the next morning, I realized I’d gone a whole day without thinking about them or what I’d done. A whole day without remembering. And it felt nice. So I put the bottle back and tried it again. After a few days, I didn’t even think about taking the bottles out.” Hunter had looked away again, but his fingers tightened around Ben’s.

Ben pulled him into an awkward hug. “You know if there was any way Michael and I could change the past for you. Any. Way. We’d do it in a heartbeat. At the same time, we love you exactly as you are.”

Hunter stayed in his arms for a few minutes before pulling back and wiping his eyes. “I know.”

“We’ll find a way to deal with this, pal. I promise. But risking your health and your life is not the way.”

Hunter nodded. Ben stood up knowing Hunter would want some privacy, but there was one more thing they needed to talk about. “I hate to ask this, but have you put anyone else at risk?”

“Hell no,” Hunter replied immediately. “I would never do that no matter how stupid I act. It’s just been me and my hand since Megan and I split six months ago.”

“OK,” Ben nodded. “I’m going to go see what we have for dinner.”

Even rumbled and clearly annoyed, the sight of Brian on his couch was enough to make Justin’s heart race. “Hey, you made good time.”

“I got out early and beat the traffic,” Brian shrugged. “You know if you’re going to make me drive your easel here, you could have at least helped me drag it up three flights of stairs.”

“I told you I had a meeting,” Justin reminded Brian as he made his way to the couch. A quick glance around the room told him Brian had set the easel up exactly where he’d wanted it. “Besides, I’ll make it up to you.” He leaned down and gave Brian a long kiss.

“You’d better,” Brian said, his mouth lingering on Justin’s as he reached for hands.

Justin stepped back and shook his head. “I have a surprise. Follow me.” He walked to his small bedroom, swaying his hips just enough to draw Brian’s attention to his ass.

“What have you got in there, Sunshine? Mirrors on the ceiling? Clean sheets?”

“Very funny. Close your eyes.” Justin stripped quickly then got up on the bed on his hands and knees. “Open them,” he commanded huskily.

He could feel Brian’s eyes on him, heard the quick breath that let him know Brian knew what the surprise was. “Do you like your present?” Justin asked, a hint of laughter in his voice.

“Who called you? Emmett or Michael?”

“Does it matter?” Justin wiggled his ass.

“I guess not.”

Justin heard rustling sounds that let him know Brian was removing his own clothing. Then it was his turn to gasp when he felt Brian’s fingers tracing his slick hole before pressing in and pushing the plug against his prostate. “I jerked off thinking about you when I put it in. I could feel it the whole time Miriam was talking. I let her drone on and on while I thought about you touching me like this.”

“I wish I’d been there. I would have reached under the table and cupped your dick like this,” Brain grabbed his cock and gave it a hard squeeze. “Then you would have pushed back in your chair, and the plug would have gone in deeper, just like this.”

Brian pushed against the plug again, and Justin’s cock twitched in his hand. The mattress dipped as Brian came up behind Justin on the bed. Justin felt the heat from Brian’s body as he leaned over him. He shivered when he felt Brian’s breath against his ear.

“You like that Justin? My hand on your dick while the plug fills your ass? I’m going to make you come like that.”

Brain’s hand was slick when he brought it back to Justin’s cock. He stroked it roughly while teasing Justin’s hole with his other hand. Just as Justin was ready to beg, Brian pressed hard against the plug, and Justin came with a shout.

Before he could catch his breath, the plug was removed and Brian’s cock was filling him. Brian’s hands gripped his hips, holding him up while Brian pounded into his ass. Pleasure almost too intense to bear, pulsed through his body as Brian hit his prostate setting off aftershocks from his orgasm.

“Fuck, Justin,” Brian ground out as he thrust in sharply and found his own release.

“I told Emmett a butt plug was the perfect gift for any occasion,” Brian laughed once they’d collapsed in a sweaty heap.

“I’ll remember that at Christmastime. And Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Good Friday, Arbor Day, National Safety Week. . .” Justin continued until Brian shut him up with a kiss.

“Where’s Hunter?” Michael asked when he came home to a quiet house and found Ben sitting on the couch staring off into space.

“I sent him for pizza.”

“Is everything ok?” Michael sat next to Ben and tried not to let his worry show.

“Yes, no.”

“Well, I’m glad you cleared that up.”

“It will be I think, but how do we forget Michael, how much damage Hunter’s childhood has done to him? How do we not remember to take extra care with him?”

“We do, Ben. But we can’t fix everything. Sometimes all we can do is stand on the sidelines and hope he hears us yelling encouragement.” At Ben’s puzzled look, Michael laughed. “I stopped at the diner and talked to Ma.”

Ben nodded as though that explained everything. “I’m glad you’re here to yell with me.”

“Me, too.” Michael agreed. He would tell Ben about Carl’s retirement and his concern over Debbie’s workload later. For the moment they had more than enough to worry about. He rested his head against Ben’s and sat quietly with him while they waited for Hunter to come home.

Blake looked up from the paper and smiled when Ted walked in the door. “Hey, I missed you last night. Everything go alright with your client?”

“He kissed me,’ Ted said without preamble, then cursed himself for his lack of tact.

“OK?” Blake dragged the word out as though he was trying to figure out how to respond.

Ted sat down heavily in the chair across from Blake. “The dinner with the client was more flirting than working. And this morning he kissed me. He wanted more than that, and so did I. At least I think I did. I’m so sorry.” Ted covered his face with his hands.

“Ted, why don’t you start at the beginning.”

“The details aren’t important. What matters is I almost fucked everything up for a quick fuck.”

“But you didn’t,” Blake said quietly. “Ted, something has been bothering you for a while. You haven’t been going to meetings.”

“I’m sick of meetings!” Ted burst out. “I’m sick of meetings and confessions and sharing every dirty little secret I have.”

“It’s part of the process and vital to recovery. You know that.”

Blake sounded so calm and professional. Somehow that made Ted angrier. “Well maybe I’ve just had enough. Jason didn’t care about my past. He didn’t need my truth before he fucked me. He didn’t see an addict when he looked at me.”

“Is that what you need?”

“Yes!” Ted shouted. “But I need that from you, and we can’t ever have that again.”

“Do you think I see an addict when I look at you?”

“What else can you see when you know what I was, what I’ve done? When I have to tell you everything? How can you forget for one second the mess I made of my life when it never ends? There’s always more.” Ted took a breath and tried to compose himself. “I was walking back from Woody’s with Emmett the other night, and I don’t know if was the angle of light or a smell, but I looked down this alley, and I remembered. I remember walking home towards the end when things were really bad. I need another score, just one more hit to get me through the night, but I was out of money. I ran into a guy I knew from the parties and asked him for a hit. He said no problem as long as I got down on my knees and sucked him. And I did. I sucked him off in that alley and begged when he told me to all for one lousy hit.”

Ted hadn’t realized he was crying until Blake took him in his arms and kissed his tears.

“Oh, Ted is that why you’ve been avoiding meetings? Avoiding me?”

“I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to think of that every time you looked at me.”

“Let me tell you a story. After I left rehab, things got pretty bad. My family disowned me because they couldn’t take any more. Except for my grandma. I went to see her one day early in the morning before the shakes were too bad. I tried to clean up and look nice although I’m sure it was obvious I was still using. I told her I was going back to school, and she believed me or at least she pretended to. She gave me fifty dollars for books, but when she went to make coffee, I took her wedding ring off the piano where she always set it. It was the only piece of jewelry my grandfather gave her, and I took it because fifty dollars wasn’t enough. It wasn’t worth much at the pawn shop, and I was pissed at her for that too. Once I got clean, I bought it back, but when I went to return it, I found out she had died. The last time she saw me, I stole her most prized possession because I wanted more drugs.”

“Oh, Blake,” Ted didn’t know what to say.

“I’ve shared that before at meetings but not with you. It’s probably my deepest shame, and I didn’t want you to know how low I really sunk. So I understand how you feel.”

Ted looked at Blake and his heart ached for the pain he’d been though. And just like that he understood. “Blake, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We have so much trouble forgiving ourselves that it can be hard to believe anyone else will forgive us. But remember that there is nothing you can tell me that will make me love you any less. But also remember, I’m your husband now not your counselor. As important as it is to go to meetings and to share what you remember, you don’t have to do it with me. As long as you do it.”

Ted nodded. “We’ll be ok won’t we?” he asked relaxing at last in to Blake’s embrace.

“Always, Ted,” Blake reassured him.

Emmett hadn’t realized it was still so early until Carl opened the door in his bathrobe.

“Sorry,” Carl said, pulling the edges together. “Wasn’t expecting anyone but the paperboy on Saturday morning.”

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” Emmett waved away Carl’s embarrassment and headed for the kitchen. “Debbie at the diner?”

“When isn’t she? Never mind,” Carl said when Emmett started to ask what that meant. “What can I do for you?”

Emmett busied himself making coffee. Carl always made it too weak. “Well since you introduced me to Bruce, I was hoping you might be able to help me decide on his birthday present.”

“I brought him home for dinner because we were working late. I wasn’t playing matchmaker.”

“That’s what you say Carl, but I have my doubts. You never brought any other cops home for dinner, just one hunky gay one. Not that I don’t appreciate it,” Emmett said with a wink. “Now back to Bruce’s birthday.”

“We only worked that one case together.” Carl took the mug from Emmett. “Birthday gifts were never a topic of conversation.”

“I didn’t expect him to give you a list, but you know what cops like.”

“Cops aren’t all alike Emmett. We don’t want procedure manuals and handcuffs. Forget I said that,” Carl winced.

Emmett nodded. If Carl was as uncomfortable with the mental image of what he and Bruce might do with handcuffs as he was with the unfortunate memory of what Carl and Debbie did with handcuffs, the less said the better. “You might not be exactly the same, but don’t you have some sort of special bond. Brothers in blue and all that?”

“Sure, on the job. But that’s just part of who we are. Some guys are cops twenty-four seven, but most of us, and I’m guessing Bruce too, like to put the job aside when we go home. At least as much as we can. Besides, I might know about being a cop, but I don’t know anything about being black or being gay.”

“Well after living with Debbie and me, I’d argue you know more about being gay than some of the guys I’ve dated, but I think get your point.”

“What I’m trying to say Emmett, is I know part of who Bruce is, but you know all of him. No one is better equipped to pick out his present than you.”

“You’re a wise man, Carl Horvath. I’d say Debbie is lucky to have you, but she’s one hell of a woman so I’ll say you two deserve each other.” Emmett kissed Carl on the cheek. “Don’t get up; I know the way out. And Carl, I’ll be by next week to give you a pedicure.”

Brian had almost fallen back asleep when drops of water hit his chest. He opened his eyes as Justin climbed back into bed. “You really need a shower big enough for two.”

“At least I let you go first. You should remember that cold showers don’t benefit either of us before you use all the hot water.”

“Your mother called me last week.”

“Is she bitching about Molly’s birthday again? I told her I have a show right after, and there’sn o way I can get back to Pittsburgh.”

“She has a buyer for the house,” Brian interjected before Justin could really get going.

“I didn’t know you had the house on the market,” Justin said quietly.

“We don’t. She has a buyer who’s looking for something like that. Despite the economy, it’s a good offer.”

“Do you need the money?”

“We don’t need the money.” Justin’s insistence on keeping their finances separate was understandable. But the house had always been in both their names, and his refusal to acknowledge that frustrated Brian. “It’s not about the money.”

“I know. I hate to think of the house sitting there empty. If it’s a good offer maybe we should think about it.”

“It doesn’t have to sit empty. I’ve told you before we can stay there for a weekend or something.”

“No, when we go there I want it to be because we live there. It’s not just a house. Staying there should be a promise or something.”

Brian nodded. They’d had this conversation before. “And if we sell it?”

“I don’t mean that.” Justin leaned over and kissed him fiercely. “It’s just I thought we might be there by now, or at least somewhere together.”

“You know that won’t be here,” Brian admitted quietly. The still depressed economy made an expansion to New York impossible.

“I know. Fucking Republicans.”

“Not where I can see them,” Brian retorted.

“I want to be able to say in a year or two or something we’ll be in the house. But I can’t. Some days I feel like it will be soon, but other days I realize how much I still have to do.”

“So what do you want?”

“I want to be with you. Here, now, always. I want to live with you again. Soon, maybe, I think.”

“Glad you cleared that up,” Brian couldn’t help but laugh. “I meant about the house.”

“How good is the offer?”

“Not that good. Not good enough.”

“Ok, good.” Justin relaxed and smiled. “So we keep the house and someday.”

“Someday,” Brian agreed. They had this after all, and the rest was only time.

Debbie worked the early shift on Monday, but the boys’ booth remained empty. Michael and Ben were at the doctor with Hunter. Emmett had indeed found the perfect gift for Bruce, and they lingered in bed as long as possible before heading to work. Ted and Blake were both at meetings. And Brian had extended his trip to New York by a day.

It was late Monday night when Brian made it back to the loft. Justin picked up the phone on the first ring.

“You made it back ok?” he asked anxiously.

“Yes, dear. I’m still in one piece.”

“Good ‘cause I have plans for all your pieces. I should let you get to bed. See you in a few weeks.”

“Yeah,” Brian was reluctant to break the connection. “The flights are already booked. No driving this time. I’ll try and work in another weekend before you come home.” Justin wouldn’t be back to Pittsburgh until the week of Gus’s visit.

Brian rummaged through his desk while he reviewed the schedule for the next few months with Justin. He finally found the file he kept on possible renovations to the house. He flipped through it quietly long after Justin hung up.

QAF Drabbles: Opposites

2009-07-19T13:09:13Z

Title: Various
Fandom and Pairing: QAF, various pairings
Theme: Written for the qaf_challenges's Clusterf#ck Challenge theme of Opposites
Notes: Thank you noteverything for being my beta!

Life and Death

Vic had been dying for years. Even when he wasn’t at death’s door, he was waiting for the next cold, the first sarcoma, yet another sign that death was near. From the moment he got his diagnosis, Vic felt death near him.

Then he met Rodney, and for the first time in years, a man touched him with genuine desire. Vic had forgotten what it felt like to be loved, to make love. Rodney made him feel young and attractive, made him feel alive. When he was with Rodney, Vic was so focused on living that he forgot about death.

Joy and Despair

When Michael left him in search of news and coffee, Brian, grateful for the moment alone, closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall. Images from the night before immediately flooded his mind. Justin taking his hand. The promise in Justin’s eyes when he stripped Brian of his jacket. His smile, his fucking beautiful smile, when they said goodbye. The happiness in his voice when he told Brian it was the best night of his life.

“Mine too,” Brain whispered into the empty hallway. When he opened his eyes, all he saw was the blood on his hands.

Fear and Safety

Every time Lindsay closed her eyes, she saw it. The confusion, the terror and people spilled out of Babylon. She could smell the smoke in the air if she breathed too deeply, could hear the screams if she listened hard enough. How could this have happened?

Lindsay knew if she thought about it too much, the fear would paralyze her. So she focused on the sound of Gus and JR’s steady breathing and the weight of Mel’s hand in hers. The people she loved above all others were in this bed with her, and they were safe. Finally, she slept.

Light and Darkness

Ted knew his life was descending into darkness, but he couldn’t stop it. The deeper he fell, the more Crystal lured him down to even lower depths. He needed the darkness, the peace and oblivion it brought. In the dark, he could hide from the mess of his life and pretend he was still in control.

Despite everything, Emmett still loved him. Ted could see it his eyes and in his smile, even when it was forced. Emmett’s love was a bright light in the darkness of his life, and more and more Ted found himself turning away from it.

Black and White

Brian stood in the doorway of his bedroom, admiring the sight before him. He’d turned all the lights off so the only illumination came from above the bed. Justin seemed to glow in the blue light, his skin taking on an almost alabaster luminousness. Sprawled naked across the bed, he opened his eyes when Brian stepped into the room.

“I thought you were just going to look all night.”

“I still might,” Brian teased. But then he joined Justin on the bed, getting in one last long look before Justin pounced.

The black silk sheets had been a brilliant idea.

QAF Drabbles: Tempt and Taunt Me

2009-07-19T13:00:18Z

The Clusterf#ck Challenge at qaf_challenges is the best thing ever! If yo have been there, run to the
Clusterf#ck Master List immediately. There are tons of fic and drabbles even some meta. Not to mention amazing vids and fabulous graphics and icons for every character and pairing. Go right now!

I have three entries in the challenge, two drabble sets and one full length fic.

Title: Tempt and Taunt Me
Fandom and Pairing: QAF, various pairings
Theme: Written for the qaf_challenges's Clusterf#ck Challenge theme of "It's All About Sex."
Notes: Five unrelated drabbles about sex organized loosely around the title which is from the Depeche Mode song "Chains." Thank you to noteverything for the beta.

I.
Justin danced with one eye on the door. As soon as he saw Brian enter Babylon, he closed his eyes and began moving with complete abandon. The song changed to something with a slower beat, and Justin rolled his hips to the music. He raised his arms above his head, pulling his shirt up to let an inch or two of skin show.

When he opened his eyes, Brian was watching from the bar. Justin licked his lips and winked. Brian’s answering smirk told him Brian recognized the game for what it was. But that wouldn’t stop him from playing.

II.
Michael watched Ben and Hunter on the basketball court, marveling at how much they looked like any other father and son enjoying a friendly competition. Not sure who was winning, he yelled encouragement to both of them.

Then Ben took his shirt off, and Michael fell silent. Ben leapt up to steal the ball, and Michael stared, transfixed by the way his muscles flexed and bunched. He yearned to lick the drop of sweat that glistened near Ben’s nipple. Michael hoped like hell Hunter had plans for after the game because he and Ben were going to be very busy.

III.
Brian was the sexist person Justin had ever met, maybe not the best looking, but definitely the sexiest. Stretched out on the couch, wearing nothing but a pair of unbuttoned jeans, he was an artist’s dream.

But Justin didn’t reach for his sketchpad. He wanted to touch. Justin imagined sliding his hand under those jeans, tangling his fingers in the dark hairs peeking out of the open fly. He wanted to taste. Brian’s skin would be warm and taste of sandalwood from his recent shower. Justin didn’t want to draw, he wanted to feel. Brian never knew what hit him.

IV.
“Enjoying your bath?” Melanie asked as she opened the bathroom door.

“Very much.” Lindsay stretch slowly, arching her back just enough to let her breasts rise out of the water, her pale skin flushed pink from the heat of the water. “There’s nothing like being surrounded by all this warm, slick water.”

Then she threw one leg onto the ledge of the tub, and Melanie’s eyes followed the bubbles as they slid down her calf and dissolved in a pool near her foot. Melanie dropped the towels she’d been carrying and hastily stripped off her clothes before joining her wife.

V.
“Justin.”

His name was a quiet warning, and though he groaned in frustration as his body trembled on the edge of orgasm, Justin dropped his hand before it reached his cock.

”Good boy.” Brian rewarded Justin by pushing the dildo in another inch.

So close. Justin knew if he pushed back the tiniest bit, the dildo would finally hit his prostate, but he held still.

“I promise it will be worth it.” Brian’s breath ghosted over Justin’s cock as he removed the dildo. Before Justin could react, Brian thrust the dildo back in and sucked Justin’s cock into his mouth.

QAF Fic: All I Want

2009-06-22T22:50:00Z

Title: All I want
Fandom and Pairing: QAF Brian/Justin
Beta: The incredible
noteverything . Thank you so much!
Credit: Title taken from the U2 song "All I Want Is You." Inspiration from the amazing happier_bunny. Written for Cuddle Day 2009. Don’t forget to check out the Cuddle Day Masterlist
Fic is loosely based on this cap:

Brian opened the loft door, surprised, but not shocked, to see Justin standing in front of the computer. Brian started to call out to him, but realized Justin was so intent on examining the screen from different angles, he hadn’t heard the door open. Careful not to draw attention to himself, Brian quietly shut the door and set his briefcase on the floor.

Sneaking up behind Justin, Brian wrapped his arms around him as soon as he was close enough. He was mildly disappointed that Justin barely jumped in reaction.

“I thought you weren’t getting in until tonight?” Brian pressed his face against Justin’s neck and smelled his own soap. Apparently Justin had been there long enough to shower.

Justin leaned his face against Brian’s and reached up to hold his arms. “I got an earlier flight, and since I knew you had meetings all day, I just came home.”

“You could have come by the office,” Brian protest, ignoring the warm feeling Justin’s use of the word home to describe the loft still gave him. “Cynthia would have entertained you until I could ditch my meetings. There was nothing urgent.”

Brian felt Justin shrug. “Then Ted would have found out which means Emmett and Michael would know I was here, and the next thing you know Debbie and my mother are pounding on the door demanding to see me.”

Knowing Justin was right, Brian laughed. They kept Justin’s shorter visits a secret for just that reason although Brian figured his weekend absences from Liberty Avenue must make at least a few people suspicious.

“Well, since I have no intention of letting you out of bed, it’s a good thing they don’t know you’re here.” Brian kissed Justin’s shoulder, then his neck when Justin leaned his head back.

“Sounds good to me,” Justin agreed. He shifted forward so he could turn the computer off, but instead of letting go, Brian held him tighter.

“So what is that?” Brian pointed toward the screen, remembering how intently Justin had been studying it when Brian first saw him.

“Not sure yet,” Justin said, once again tilting his head to examine the colors and half-formed shapes that covered the screen. “I was inspired on the plane and didn’t feel like dragging a canvas out of storage so I thought I’d do some sketching on the computer.”

“The only thing that’s ever inspired me on an airplane is a hot ass and an empty bathroom.”

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.” Justin turned in Brian’s arms, the computer temporarily forgotten. “I believe you mentioned something about a bed.” He leaned up and kissed Brian, just a brief meeting of their lips. More of a tease and a promise than a kiss.

“I did.” But Brian didn’t feel the same urgency to head to the bedroom that he had earlier. Maybe it was knowing they had the whole weekend, but at that moment he wanted time with Justin more than he needed to fuck him.

“So tell me about this inspiration of yours,” he asked while taking off his jacket and hanging it over the chair before unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt. Brian listened to the answer, realizing he’d have to look at the computer again before it made any sense. But that could wait.

Smiling at the slightly quizzical look on Justin’s face, Brian led him across the floor to the couch. He sat, then pulled Justin down so he landed half on his lap. That close, he could again smell his soap on Justin’s skin, and he licked and kissed the sensitive spot just below Justin’s left ear so he could taste it.

Justin relaxed against him, threading his fingers through Brian’s hair and encouraging him to continue nuzzling his neck. When they shifted slightly, Brian felt Justin’s shoe graze him. He looked up and nudged Justin’s feet off the couch.

“Take your shoes off,” he admonished, before adding more softly, “and stay awhile.”

QAF Fic: Rapture

2009-05-25T13:48:08Z

Title: Rapture
Fandom and Pairing: QAF, Brian/Justin
Summary: For happier_bunny who wanted kisses in the rain. Her exact request is here.
Beta: Thank you very much to dottie_jane for helping me out with this.

Sometimes Justin thought the thing he missed most about Pittsburgh was Liberty Avenue. It wasn’t that he didn’t miss Brian with a bone deep ache that never went away or that if a waitress patted him on the cheek, he wasn’t crushed when he looked up and it wasn’t Debbie. He still ran out the door with half-finished, insane ideas for Rage before he realized Michael was more than a bus ride away. But the people he’d left behind were as stubborn as he was, so between phone calls, emails, and visits they never faded from his life. But Liberty Avenue’s existence was confined to a few blocks in Pittsburgh, and there was simply no way to recreate how being there made Justin feel.

It wasn’t that there weren’t plenty of gay friendly areas in New York, but they weren’t the same. None of them held the memory of seeing Brian for the first time or the joy of celebrating Stockwell's defeat or even the pain of seeing how deep his father’s prejudice ran and realizing he could never go home again. Those moments belonged to Liberty Avenue, and New York couldn’t replace them.

Every time he came home, Justin made a point of walking from the diner to Michael’s store. He made time for Woody’s, Babylon, and the many alleys he and Brian had sucked and fuck and groped in. Brian teased him about what he called his “nostalgia tours,” but he joined Justin more often than not.

A warm spring evening had become a chilly spring night by the time they stumbled out of Babylon. “Christ, we practically need a cab back to the car,” Brian bitched as they began the long walk to the other end of Liberty Avenue where Justin had convinced him to park.

“It’s not that far.” Justin bumped his shoulder and grinned up at Brian before reaching for his hand.

Brian rolled his eyes, but entwined his fingers with Justin’s before shoving both their hands into the pocket of his leather coat. “The longer it takes us to get to the car the longer we have to wait before we can fuck.”

Now it was Justin’s turn to roll his eyes. “I just sucked you off in the backroom. We aren’t fucking before we get home.”

“You sure about that?”

Justin found himself pressed against the nearest building, Brian standing as close as he could without actually touching him. “I know I can get it up again. What about you, Sunshine?” Brian traced the shape of Justin’s cock in his jeans as he whispered in his ear.

“Convince me,” Justin challenged before winding his arms around Brian’s neck and pulling him down for a kiss. They’d been kissing all night so there was nothing frantic or urgent in the kiss. Their mouths slid together, lips parted and wet, making small noises each time they pulled apart that seemed much louder in the quiet of the night. Justin teased Brian with his tongue, running it across his lips or pressing just inside his mouth before pulling back. He felt Brian smile before he followed with his own tongue.

Brian pulled Justin closer and rolled their hips together. Neither of them was completely hard, but it still felt good, and Justin couldn’t help moaning a little. Brian did it again before stepping back and raising his eyebrow in obvious question.

Justin shook his head, “More.”

Brian sighed dramatically but resumed the kiss. Bringing his hands up to frame Justin’s face, he teased his mouth open with soft kisses, ending each one with a gentle tug on his lips. By the time Brian swept his tongue into his mouth, Justin felt completely boneless as though he melted into Brian and only Brian’s hands and mouth were keeping him upright.

When Justin tilted his head back to give Brian’s wandering lips access to his neck, he was shocked to feel raindrops on his face. His eyes flew open, and he heard Brian laugh at what he knew was a look of surprise on his face. It had been raining long enough for the rain to seep into Brian’s hair, and fat droplets ran off the ends of it. Justin caught one with his finger, holding it up to the glow of the streetlight as it dissolved against his skin.

Brian captured the finger with his teeth, sucking it into his mouth and licking the rain away. Their eyes met as Brian released his finger, and Justin forgot all about the rain. Then, Brian leaned forward and began to lick and kiss the rain from his face one drop at a time. Justin’s fingers continued to toy with Brian’s hair as the warmth of Brian’s mouth and tongue worked to chase away the chill of the rain.

Justin almost giggled when he felt Brian’s lips against his eyelids, his tongue swiping across his lashes, clearing them of the rain drops he’d felt gathering there. But his eyes opened at the contact and the expression on Brian’s face froze the laughter in his throat. Brian’s gaze was open and loving in a way that he only allowed when he was a little buzzed, but mostly just happy. Justin scanned Brian’s face intently and traced his smile with his fingers, wanting to memorize this look for the nights he went to bed alone.

When Brian looked like he was about to say something, Justin shook his head and brought their mouths together again. The rain was forgotten and they held each other tightly and let the kiss become more passionate as they rubbed against each other. Brian had just begun to work the button of Justin’s jeans when a group of people rushing to the nearby bus stop approached loudly, breaking the mood.

They broke apart reluctantly and resumed their walk to the car. They still didn’t hurry despite Brian’s constant bitching about what the rain was doing to his hair and his leather jacket. Finally Justin told him if he didn’t shut up, the only thing he’d be fucking in the shower was his own hand. It was an empty threat, made without any heat, but Brian pretend to believe him, and the rest of the walk was silent except for the sound of the rain and their laughter as they tried to dodge puddles without letting go of each other’s hands.

Six months later, Darren opened Liberty Avenue’s first five-star restaurant. Located several blocks from Babylon and the other clubs, Darren hoped his establishment would bring back people who left Liberty Avenue when they grew tired of quick hook ups or wanted a night out that didn’t involve tweaked out party boys. Or at least that’s what his “silent” partner Emmett told anyone who would listen.

Justin made it to the opening night. It was a beautiful fall evening, and Justin convinced Brian to leave the Corvette near Babylon so they could walk to the restaurant. As they made their way along Liberty Avenue, they passed several of the restaurant's large advertisements designed, of course, by Kinnetik. When he saw the first poster, Justin knew Darren would have all the business he could handle. They were both sexy and sophisticated, featuring a black and white photo, a grainy and slightly out of focus close up of a man’s profile. His lips were parted and his eyes half-closed in anticipation of a kiss. The restaurants name, “Rapture,” was scrawled in elegant script across at an angle drawing even more attention to the raindrops glistening in his eyelashes.

The front doors of Rapture were framed by even larger versions of the poster, echoing its history as a theater. “So what do you think?” Brian asked, coming to stand behind Justin when he paused on the front steps.

Justin leaned back into Brian’s embrace and continued to study the ads. “I think they’re beautiful.” The he looked around at the people, couples mostly, passing by them on their way into the restaurant. A quieter, less vivid crowd than you found closer to Babylon, but no less interesting. It was still Liberty Avenue, and it still felt like home. “This is good, what Darren’s doing,” he continued.

Brian had come to stand beside him. He shrugged at Justin’s last comment, but he didn’t object, and he reached for Justin’s hand as they continued up the steps. Just as they walked inside, a few rain drops began to fall. Neither of them minded the thought of walking back in the rain.