Hello friends! Happy holidays!

As a reformed chronic holiday overspender and recovering shopping addict (three years clean and counting), this time of year brings up a lot of frustration and regret over how I used to go about the season.

Working in marketing for a good portion of my income hasn’t helped either.

Maybe the veil has been pulled too far back, or maybe it’s the guilt of knowing I’m part of the problem. I never exactly wanted to see how this particular sausage was made, but now that I have, I can’t quite do sausage.

AKA, Black Friday and the gifting craze.

Black Friday and Cyber Monday come with an avalanche of discount codes lying in wait, ready to pounce during your first quiet moment in the bathroom at your family gathering.

“Don’t miss out! Our biggest sale of the year!” the emails cry out, tempting you to buy something you most certainly do not need at 30% off.

Or better yet, buy something your sister/partner/friend also doesn’t need—because it’s heavily discounted and makes you feel like you’re doing something morally good.

You’re giving, you’re thoughtful, you’re generous.

Now, just add $15 more to your cart, and you’ll unlock FREE shipping!

Before you press “Buy Now,” I want you to pause.

For real.

Actually set a timer for at least 60 seconds and contemplate: why do I feel the need to do this?

Why are you so quick to funnel your hard-earned (and increasingly scarce) money into things you’ll forget about by February?

Will this item make you feel loved?

Feel whole?

Feel proud?

Does anyone actually need what you’re planning to buy them?

Will they use it?

Will they cherish it?

Will it add meaningful value to their lives?

If we’re being totally honest with ourselves, we’re not usually buying these “thoughtful” gifts with any deep intention besides either checking off a box, filling a perceived void, or escaping the guilt that we haven’t done enough.

Big Marketing knows this well, and is straight up using psychological research to back up its tactics, feeding on a very special cocktail of obligation, scarcity, and dopamine.

This is an actual excerpt of a newsletter that was sent out to my marketing team as a helpful insight!

It’s no secret that the holidays have become synonymous with profit.

For most brands, a staggering percentage of annual income is generated between Thanksgiving and Christmas Day.

In 2023, U.S. holiday retail sales hit a record $964.4 billion.

For perspective on that amount, the U.S. Department of Defense’s budget for 2023 was $858 billion, which is about $106 billion less than 2023’s holiday retail sales.

Simply put, that’s a lot of f*cking money to be generated within a month’s span!

According to a survey, 70% of Americans reported overspending during the holidays, with many blaming aggressive sales for exceeding their budgets.1

Meanwhile, 68% of people reported feeling stressed about affording gifts in the first place.2

Even still, a large part of what is bought isn’t even appreciated or wanted!

A study found that 53% of people didn’t like or use at least one gift they received during the holidays, meaning a significant portion of the gifts we buy end up unused or in the trash.3

So… let’s add it up:

A self-described overwhelmed and financially strapped majority of Americans.

$964.4 billion spent last year alone, with the total rising every year.

1 million extra tons of garbage added to landfills per week between Thanksgiving and New Year’s (just from packaging and unwanted gifts alone!)4

All for…what?

A little serotonin boost from clicking “Buy Now”?

A fantasy of our loved one’s unending joy as they unwrap their special gift and move on thirty seconds later?

Fairly mindless participation in a marketing-driven ritual, giving things very likely destined for the trash to avoid the guilt of showing up empty-handed?

I, the Grinch, am here to ask yet another question:

What if we just…

didn’t…

do…

that?

What if we focused entirely on what can make this time of year actually meaningful?

Instead of gifting exclusively material items, you could:

• Share experiences!

  • Plan a day trip somewhere fun!

  • Get tickets to a show to attend together! Bonus points if it’s a local indie musician!

  • Treat someone to a super nice meal!

• Share meaningful words and memories

  • Write a letter that says the things you don’t usually say!

  • Put together a photo book with your favorite memories!

• Give your time

  • Help a friend decorate their new apartment!

  • Lend a hand to a family member with a house project!

  • Babysit for parents in your life!

If gifting is a non-negotiable part of your tradition, so be it…but I urge you to make it more thoughtful (and sustainable) by supporting local artists and small businesses in your area, or just straight up thrifting your gifts.

And even when taking a more sustainable path for gifting, I still hope you can take the time to ask yourself what’s driving you to do it.

Is it about showing genuine love and care, or is it about checking a box?

This year, I’m challenging myself (and inviting you) to take an itsy bitsy step back from holiday consumerism.

And whatever your holidays look like, I just hope that they’re spent with your favorite people doing what really matters to you in this precious lil life of yours.

Stay strong as the onslaught of sales descends upon your digital doorstep.

I have utmost faith in your resilience.

Godspeed.

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