On a frosty autumn morning, with the leaves brown and crisp and rustling in the wind, I pushed open the glass door to my deck and stepped out, coffee in hand. There, perched on the railing, was a striking blue bird, its feathers gleaming in light filtered through the trees. I was immediately captivated by its awesome beauty.

I sighed, overcome by a profound sense of wonder. “Oh, magnificent creature,” I mused aloud. “You embody life’s beauty and mystery. In your flight, I sense a freedom that speaks to the deepest truths of the universe. What secrets do you possess?”

Sunny! Bright day, good find bugs.

I continued, moved by the eloquence of this bird’s simple presence, my voice growing more impassioned. “You, dear bird, are a living testament to the universe’s grand design. In your existence, I see powerful ideas of heavenly significance.”

Warm sun nice. Good on feathers.

“In your eyes, there’s a meaning that transcends the mundane. You are a creature of the air, unbound by gravity, soaring through the skies with majestic purpose.”

Poop on railing? No, better on car.

“Thank you, wise and wondrous being, for gracing me with your presence. You’ve enlightened my soul and shown me the beauty of simplicity. The universe speaks through you and shines a light into the depths of its wisdom.”

Ooh, worm in dirt! Must investigate.

The bird leaped from its perch and sailed toward the ground, its wings fluttering in harmony with the eternal ballet of creation. “Oh, bird! What cosmic thoughts, what grand ideas, sail on the wings of your mind?”

Wheeeeeee!

“Farewell, beautiful messenger of the universe.”

In that moment, I felt a deep connection to all existence, a profound gratitude for the bird and the lessons it imparted. However, when the bird took flight again, it must have misjudged its path, because it barely missed smacking into my neighbor’s window. This jarred me out of my reverie.

“I’ve been getting carried away,” I said to myself. “The universe is not a being with intention. It’s a formless void, a meaningless mass of coincidence. If the universe wanted to convince me it was a conscious entity, it would do something more obvious than manifesting as a silly bird.”

With that, I poured out my coffee, turned back to the door to go inside the house, and smacked face-first into the glass.