Aliquando et insanire iucundum est.

Hi?

2012-02-13T14:14:17Z

Just me staying alive.

jic @ 2010-07-19T07:20:00

2010-07-19T14:20:51Z

I still exist.

I'm still at DW.

jic @ 2009-05-10T10:34:00

2009-05-10T17:34:21Z

I have moved to jic.dreamwidth.org.

I currently have five (5) invitation codes.

\o/

2009-04-13T18:48:23Z

Post to DW with Semagic

Dreamwidth

2009-04-13T18:39:30Z

Oh, hey. I'm on Dreamwidth as jic. I'm more than a bit thrilled about Dreamwidth -- mostly because I trust the show-runners.

Rugby

2009-04-10T00:35:56Z

Son1 has a rugby game Saturday at 2:00 at Delta Park. Who wants to go?

Marry, Shag, or (Push off a) Cliff

2009-04-09T15:46:42Z

butterfly twisted my arm, and then gave me three characters, one to marry, one to shag, and one to "cliff." I get to pick which one's which. The candidates are the Female Leaders of Stargate: Atlantis, Teyla, Elizabeth, and Sam.

The quickest decision was which one to knock off: Elizabeth.

Not that I hate her inherently, but of the three of them she's the least useful to have around in a pinch. I mean, seriously, a diplomatic argument is to repeat herself, only slower? OTOH, she's easy on the eyes and her voice is inoffensive. Apparently, that's not enough to save her life.

To shag: I'd have to say Sam.

Most know how I feel about shagging anything not run on batteries (which is to say, I'd just as soon not), so this choice is pretty much by default. I like Sam, but I'm saving marriage for Teyla.

Oops, I just gave it away. To marry: Teyla

This was a hard call. I mean, Sam and I have the whole physics/math thing in common, whereas Teyla is -- way more like butterfly than like me, what with the interest in social justice and bemused bafflement with my science-y ways. And I've learned that it's way more important to share interests we can tackle as a team than to have a common interest in an area where I feel competitive.

Also: check out that body language! Way less defensive than the other two.

Wanna play? Hit me with a comment.

vampireborg, Go here. Now.

2009-04-07T15:44:14Z

~~http://halcyon-shift.livejournal.com/493044.html#cutid1~~ My bad; didn't realize it was flocked.

That was unexpected!

2009-04-06T21:00:18Z

So, one of the things that made the Week of Catastrophe so catastrophic was suddenly owing $900 to my credit card processor.

I had called the collector, protested that I had not cancelled the service and didn't want my service to be cancelled, and it was all just a problem with timing anyway. He said he'd check with the company and get back to me later that week. He never did.

So on Friday, I called the actual service providor (credit card processor), and hashed it out with them, making a partial payment on my past due amounts, and arranging to call back today (after my tax refund) to pay off the rest of the past due amount and get back in good standing.

The bad news is, they will not reopen my account, i.e., they no longer want my business.

The good news is, they are not putting me in collection, they don't want any more of my money, and they are giving back the partial payment I had made.

Priscilla promised!

Everyday Cheapskate, by Mary Hunt

2009-04-01T01:52:54Z

Feeling poor is not a financial condition

It's no secret that Americans are in credit card debt up to their eyeballs. To what can we attribute this colossal "living behond our means" phenomenon? I don't think it's because we've had too many emergencies, and that's why we all have credit cards, right? It's because we don't ever want to feel poor.

Let me define the term "feeling poor." It's a sad, sorry feeling of inferiority. It's that feeling you get when faced with an invitation to join all of your rich co-workers for a chichi lunch and you've got $8.43 to last until payday. It's that feeling you get when you see a commercial for the coolest car on earth and all you have is a 10-year-old clunker.

When you feel poor, the worst thing you can do is spend money. Sure, that might make the feeling go away for a time. But as soon as you realize you've plunged yourself deeper into debt and made your situation worse, you'll feel even poorer. It's a vicious cycle that comes to no good end.

I have a better idea: Stop feeling poor in the first place. Here are three things you can do that will help change your attitude:

1. COMMIT TO A CLEAN CAR. No matter how old, how scratched or how ugly, if you keep your car sparkling clean inside and out, you won't feel poor. Remove every coffee cup, every paper and every item other than the emergency equipment in the trunk every time you leave the car. Wash it weekly. Make sure the windows are spotless, the tires scrubbed and the chrime shiny. You'll feel like a million bucks.

2. CURB THE CLUTTER. I don't care how clean your house may be. If you have clutter, it's pulling you down. Clear your closets, drawers, cupboards, garage and counters of everything tht you do not need. Open space, tranquility and simplicity will chase away feelings of poverty. Clutter invites chaos, which leads to depression and feelings of deprivation.

3. TUCK A C-NOTE. A "C-note" is a $100 bill. I want you to get one, fold it neatly and tuck it into a secret place in your wallet. Just like that, you no longer will feel poor. That C-note will make you feel prosperous, and you are not likely to spend it on a whim. In fact, you are not likely to spend it at all. Breaking a $100 bill is a big deal. You wouldn't do that for a hamburger and fries. You sure wouldn't do that to convince the co-workers that you can afford to eat sushi with them instead of the bagged lunch you brought to work. That would be ridiculous, right?

If you don't have $100 to spare, start with a $20 bill. Then trade it for a 50. Before you know it, you'll have Benjamin in your pocket, hidden away.

Feeling poor is not a financial condition. It is a state of mind and something you can change.

===

The above is entirely reprinted from a newspaper column that queenpeil sent me (Thanks, Mom!). She probably got it from The World. Any typos are mine.

Leverage fic rec for butterfly and rathanylakan

2009-03-27T03:04:42Z

(and the rest of y'all, because it's awesome)

The Underwire Job

Also read the sequel linked at the bottom.

PS - I filed my taxes. My return is gonna be HUGE.

Showing signs of improvement

2009-03-23T09:57:10Z

So, things are looking up. Not that anything in particular is different now than it was a few days ago, but my overall mood is improved. My eyes are leaking at the least provocation, but at least I'm not so torn up inside that I intentionally sublimate it to anger because that hurts just a bit less. My urges to find things to break have dissipated, and I didn't even have to go after a great cedar with a bat!

Fandom is brightening my days, though my physical reactions to emotion are a little more obvious than usual (see the aforementioned eye-leakage). Leverage continues to be delightful, Kings is the new black, and Princess Princess brought 90 minutes of hysterical laughter to my living room today. And that's not to mention at all the fannish friends who have given kind words and support both off- and on-line.

KCon elections went smoothly, though a bit long. Well, *shrug* the entire meeting was less than two hours, so it could have been worse. Since I got the unenviable job of running that show, I am not displeased.

Wow, that was a long string of defining an event in the negative. *eyebrow*

The kids are at their dad's for spring break, and it just now occurs to me to wonder if their departure was contributory to my difficulty of recovery.

Slowly but surely I'm adjusting to mood of the home deco from three-people-one-missing to two-people. It's surprising how much of a relief it is to not have reminders everywhere I look. Is this how people feel when they pack up the belongings of a recently-deceased? I've done a bunch of loads of laundry, and hopefully I'll get a bunch of coat hangers back when stuff is sorted for Goodwill.

I've been reading a lot of fic the last few hours, and it's good to catch up. It's also good for relieving the net-jonesing-DTs. Yay!

Thank fucking God it isn't December

2009-03-22T01:31:02Z

Usually I like to offset the shit that's happening in my life by focusing on the good stuff. And maybe I'll try now, too, but I don't know how it'll work out. Partly I just need to vent, partly I just need to scream, partly I just want to break something and I'm writing instead of talking in hopes that I can modulate myself enough that the something I break won't be someone I care about. It's been a bad week.

Monday I got notice that my wages shall be garnished 25% until my back taxes have been paid. I haven't done my taxes for this year, yet, so I don't know how much deeper that hole is going to get. At least it should only take three paychecks before that is done.

Also on Monday, I found out that the credit card processor I'm subscribed to for my Cookie Lee business (defunct) has decided to cancel my three-year contract and wants everything, including an early termination fee, now. This sings to the tune of $900.00.

I've been needing a new windshield, and I was planning to get that this week with my overtime pay. Well, that plan faded into the ether with the advent of the garnishment.

There were a couple pieces of good news: Son1 is eligible for scholarship covering 5/8 of his rugby registration fee. Also, I had eight hours of overtime pay which offset this instance of the garnishment such that my net check was only $6 under budget.

And then Thursday happened.

One night a month, I have a long noisy meeting at my house. It's on a TV night, meaning Bones, Smallville, and Supernatural, in addition to Keith Olberman, Rachel Maddow, Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert. This inconveniences Butterfly. She says, "It's too bad your meeting is on a TV night," and I get a little defensive inside. Then I hear that the meeting went on for another hour and a quarter after I had to leave for work with "oh, one last thing" to be discussed in the speakerphone conversation. I knew when I first started bringing the meetings here that it would interfere with TV, but I have no control over and no defense for a discussion that goes on for over an hour after the actual meeting is done. So I'm feeling guilty and defensive about that.

Friday I got glomped. I had the singular joy of being awakened with snuggles, thanks to rathanylakan and vampireborg. Watched a very enjoyable episode of Leverage, which Butterfly even stayed awake through, this time! *g* (Leverage is suddenly my spark of hope after the stuff I'm about to write.) I took Borg to lazulisong, and then we all went out to dinner at the restaurant attached to Uwajimaya. We arrived 30 minutes before the doors opened, so we browsed the bookstore attached to Uwajimaya until they did.

Now, apparently the critical mass of manga-fen in my life has been reached, because despite Rath and Borg having their lives suffused with Japanese culture and entertainment for as long as I've known them, within 7 weeks of Lazulisong moving to Portland, I have purchased my first manga. By "purchased" I mean I discovered my wallet was not in my pocket (being on my nightstand at home) and I now owe Rath $10. Worse things can happen.

Coming home after shopping for some funeral clothes for Rath, she and I brainstormed an outline for a sooper sekrit project. Then Butterfly and I watched Sarah Connor Chronicles and Dollhouse, both of which were awesome. Then I watched the series finale of Battlestar Galactica, which was okay for the first hour or so, and then they made planetfall and rest of it was pastede-on-yay.

Then Butterfly went to bed and I watched Supernatural "On the Head of a Pin."

...

Let's have a metaphor.

Sometimes -- most times -- what you need is nutrition. Something filling and tasty and chock full of proteins, fats, carbohydrates, and vitamins and minerals. Like a steak dinner at Newport Bay. Or even a fried egg sandwich. But sometimes you just want cotton candy from the county fair: spun sugar and flossine, of no substance whatsoever, that tastes yummy and rots your teeth.

Certain shows are steak dinners: Bones, for example. Or Sarah Connor. House MD is a fried egg sandwich. Supernatural is my Cotton Candy. I don't like Supernatural because it is sexist; I like it in spite of its gratuitous violence toward female characters and its overuse of gender epithets. I don't like it because it is racist; I like it in spite of how it has killed every black, male character to date.

But there is a difference between brushing my teeth after cotton candy and forcing myself to vomit after it. After a show like Supernatural, which lacks redeeming social or moral value, it is good for me to focus on social justice and ways I can improve the rightness of the world, but that doesn't mean I need to vomit the episode back up and sort through the emesis to expose every flaw. I already know there is nothing there but spun sugar and flossine! Can't I just enjoy the fucking show? Can't I express the things I like about it -- its sweet flavor and fluffy texture -- without being forced to stick my own fingers down my throat?

...

I've mentioned before: Television is a social activity for me. If I'm alone, I will read or write or clean house or do gardening or sit on a couch and vegetate before I'll watch television by myself.

There has become an exception to this. The exception is if I want to watch a show that I know I can't watch in the presence of others without somehow making them miserable. Examples: Dexter (where the DA is sure to die, just like everyone else Dexter gets close to), Burn Notice (where a favorite character is about to die), and Supernatural (racist, sexist eye candy).

Now, the shows that make up my social television viewing are overwhelmingly not "my shows." "My shows" are the ones where I say "Let's watch Show X!" instead of just "Hey, wanna watch something?" or "Oh, hey, Show X is on." My shows are the ones where I would rather make time during my work week than wait for the weekend to watch them.

This means that when the few shows that are "my shows" become also shows that make my fellow watchers miserable, I start to take it a little personally. It's not that all my fandoms are ones that I've been pimped into -- Butterfly pimped me into both Stargate Atlantis and Supernatural. It's that I need a little squee in my life. Squee is better when shared. But every show that gives me squee has been ripped from the possibility of shared squeeness.

And I'm feeling put-upon in other ways, too. It's hard to be the only one who cares about something. It's even harder to be the only who cares about something who also can't find a gracious ear.

When an inconvenience arises, there are two ways to respond to it: graciously or ungraciously. I'm not always gracious: sometimes I'm bitter and angry and sarcastic, and sometimes I'm just indifferent. Whether justified or not, I'm feeling like I can't find a gracious ear to hear me. Whether I'm talking about the inoffensive parts of an offensive show, or whether I'm looking for buy-in on home improvement or cleanliness projects, I feel like I am not only an imposition but I am personally offensive for having said anything. This is probably a reaction disproportionate to the intent of the persons involved, who have the right to their own opinions and who have their own valid threshholds for when stuff needs done. It's still how I feel. And because I'm so fucking gracious, I won't even say anything out loud, but hide it behind a cut-tag and sit here conflicted over whether to hope someone clicks it or hope no one does.

Most of the time, I love my life. I love everything about my friends and home, and I just sit in my chair or on my couch immensely satisfied that life is good. Just, today, I've been feeling like the exercise of others' right to swing a fist is ending on the wrong side of my nose.

Thank God it's not December. I'd probably be suicidal.

Supernatural, Instant Replay

2009-03-16T02:20:47Z

Spoilers for Death Takes a Holiday, in three-letter lead-ins:

Yay: Previouslies bode for pivotal episode!
Yay: interracial friendship between men!
Yay: who are not gay!
Yay: and yet have flinch-free CPR!
Boo: Dean, please quit talking with your mouth full. It completely distracts me from your utter lack of interest in what Sam is telling you.
Eep: Wow, way to let it go, Dean. He's only told you a hundred times already.
omg: Floored by the Lord dot com?
ack: Way to be subtle, Sam! Have you swung by a crossroads lately?
hug: for Dean, loving how matter of fact Sam is about talking to the dead.
Yay: Dean angst is the awesome.
wtf: Normal rules don't really apply to us?
hee: I love when Dean doesn't have a good answer.
omg: sometimes I think my eyes do that. Mostly around Borg.
YAY: Go Sam!!!! Kick demon ass!
Boo: Sam, you lying liar who lies. Your lying is more distracting than Dean's crotch.
Boo: Angels in this universe are kinda sucky.
Yay: Dean's crazy idea!
Yay: Dean's follow up smirk!
Yay: Pamela!
Yay: Pamela's verbal smack-downs!
huh: Chachi? Dean doesn't get the reference, and now I'ma have to look it up :(
Yay: Pamela!
Yay: "Am I making you uncomfortable?" "Get out of me." "You're such a prude."
aww: dead kid walking.
Yay: special effects.
huh: Haley Joel?
eee: Dean doesn't remember her, but she remembers HIM! Hi, Tessa! Nice face.
Yay: That's an awesome refresh. I wonder if Dean will get to keep the memory this time.
Yay: She agrees to wait!
aww: Sam, you lying liar. Who LIES. YOU HAD BETTER BE BLUFFING!
aww: Dean, you player. Also, Yay the angst!
hee: kid kickin' Dean's ass with the ghost mojo. Uh-oh. Now literally! Hee!
eep: the bad guys are not supposed to be able to plan ahead! Not good!
eep: Salt round in the shotgun while our boys are ghost-ish is OWIE!
meh: killed guy-reaper off-screen. If they kill girl-reaper on screen, I'm gonna be even more pissed than about her being more reactive.
Yay: broke the trap! Saved the reaper! she saved them!
Boo: Pamela took a blade. That SUCKS on SO MANY LEVELS.
umm: Castiel useful for a change?
Yay: Castiel useful for a change!
Boo: manipulative bastard.
aww: Dean, you're gonna be a great reaper someday.
Boo: Sam, you're still a lying liar who LIES.
Yay: Tessa undermining the Angels!
Boo: Pamela owie.
Ooh: Sam info. Pamela knows what he did to that demon!

Kim Manners died? I am not pleased.

Yay: Dean vs Alistair next week!

Son3 says: next episode, seven angels die, what is the weakness really?

Must Read

2009-03-13T00:00:09Z

The Spoon Theory

Here's my logic

2009-03-12T02:43:36Z

Easter is on its way (I can tell because the church is doing Lent).

A symbol of Easter is a bunny or rabbit.

The word for making baby rabbits is to "kindle"

Easter baskets or other gifts are traditionally given at Easter

Therefore, someone should buy me a Kindle.

:D

temporary bookmark

2009-03-04T04:45:33Z

http://www.rivkat.com/cms/index.php?set=fiction&story=93&chapter=2

Dude. Cool.

2009-03-04T03:06:16Z

Not exactly shadow puppets

At your own risk

2009-02-28T00:46:17Z

I've come down sick as of yesterday, so anyone thinking Sci Fi Friday here is a good plan should factor that in.

If you show up, I expect hugs.

How did this get in my queue?

2009-02-23T20:09:04Z

Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan

Sakura Kusakabe is destined to invent an immortality-granting technology that will cause all women to stop aging when they turn 12. Fearing a pedophilia outbreak, God sends his angelic assassin Dokuro-chan to prevent Sakura from completing his work. The angel adopts a nonviolent strategy to containing Sakura, but her short temper causes her to kill him -- and revive him -- again and again in this unique anime treat.

Good news update

2009-02-23T18:35:21Z

My schedule improved in January, going from Friday through Monday to Monday through Thursday, which means more sleep and more time for friends.
I got a raise.
Son3 earned the release of the PS2 with his grades.
My boss asked me to take a back-up Lead shift in March, meaning I had to be trained to be a floor supervisor for the graveyard shift, and this will look good if I buck for promotion at any point.
I can afford to get my timing belt replaced finally. It's in the shop at this moment.
There are an abundance of February birthdays, signifying many of my friends have survived yet another year.

Shopping List - paperbacks only

2009-02-16T19:42:08Z

Laurell K Hamilton

Anita Blake Series:
Guilty Pleasures
The Laughing Corpse
Circus Of The Damned
Lunatic Cafe
Bloody Bones
The Killing Dance
Burnt Offerings
Blue Moon
Obsidian Butterfly
Narcissus In Chains
Cerulean Sins
Incubus Dreams
Micah
Danse Macabre
The Harlequin
Blood Noir
Skin Trade (June 2, 2009)

Merry Gentry Series:
~~Kiss Of Shadows~~
Caress Of Twilight
Seduced By Moonlight
Stroke Of Midnight
Mistral's Kiss
A Lick Of Frost
Swallowing Darkness

Other Works:
Nightseer
Death of a Darklord - Ravenloft
NightShade - Star Trek NG
Strange Candy

Anthologies:
Out Of This World
Bite
Cravings
Dungeons and Dragons 30th Anniversary Book

Mercedes Lackey

Heralds of Valdemar
Arrow of the Queen
Arrow's Flight
Arrow's Fall

Vows & Honor
The Oathbound
Oathbreakers

The Last Herald Mage Trilogy
Magic's Pawn
Magic's Promise
Magic's Price

The Mage Winds Trilogy
Winds of Fate
Winds of Change
Winds of Fury

Kerowyn's Tale
~~By the Sword~~

The Mage Wars
The Black Gryphon
The White Gryphon
The Silver Gryphon

Oathblood

The Mage Storms Trilogy
Storm Warning
Storm Rising
Storm Breaking

Owlflight
Owlsight
Owlknight

~~Brightly Burning~~
Take a Thief
Exile's Honor
Exile's Valor

Halfblood Chronicles
(with Andre Norton)
The Elvenbane
Elvenblood
Elvenborn
Elvenbred

SFF in review (spoiler free)

2009-02-14T10:09:37Z

Sarah Connor Chronicles: John Henry is really cool this week. I don't hold faith that he'll remain so, but this week was ADORABLE. Sarah is made of jerky and rawhide, which is to say, tough as nails and then some. Male guest star's character was really good at his job; too bad about that other thing. Female guest star's character was several sorts of awesome, too; also, too bad about that other thing.

Battlestar Galactica: Yay! Yay yay yay! History! Backstory! Character insight!

Dollhouse: Holy cow, Eliza can really act! Also, someone who didn't realize this show appreciates the creep factor of its own premise didn't listen to the opening credits or the dialog of the first scene. I have high hopes for all of the characters.

Psych: Not the episode I would have used as to pimp this fandom. However, given a history with this show, it was pretty fun.

The People: the residents of Marathon Manor (both full- and part-time), and three guests. Yay guests who don't start fights with all the other guests! (Which is to say, B and I liked S and J and found A inoffensive.)

Tomorrow there shall be Numb3rs, and next week shall be much the same, only starting a bit earlier (to watch BSG live at 7 instead of 9) and with less pausing *glares at remote*

Sci Fi Friday at Marathon Manor!

2009-02-12T17:22:29Z

7:00 Battlestar Galactica
8:00 Sarah Connor Chronicles
9:00 Dollhouse *BRAND NEW SERIES FROM JOSS WHEDON*
10:00 Psych

*chair boogies*

If you're local, BE HERE. If you're hungry, BE HERE AT 5:00.

Quiz: Daemon

2009-02-06T04:26:32Z

Your result for The Golden Compass Daemon Test...

Multi-Faceted Soul

In a way, you are a truly balanced person. You have a good sense of self, but you have periods of worry and self doubt. You don't like to be alone a lot, but you don't like being constantly surrounded, either. You can be shy in some situations and bold in others. You can tell people how you feel, but you don't wear your heart on your sleeve. You aren't "TOO" anything: You aren't too shy, you aren't too aggressive, you aren't too extroverted, you aren't too introverted. However at any one time you can be any combination of these things.

You tend to adapt yourself to match the situations in which you find yourself. You may be quiet and sensitive with some people, or joking and loud with others. These are all facets of your personality. People tend to perceive you as they want to perceive you. They may even tend to idealize you a bit. Then, when you do something that doesn't fit their concept of who you are (like have an outburst of anger, or a fit of shyness, or make an insensitive joke)they can be shocked and surprised. Does anyone know the real you?

Your daemon would represent your multi-faceted and ever-changing personality, as well as people's tendency to idealize you. He or she would get angry when you did not, be calm and poised when you felt ruffled and anxious, and always be the voice of emotion and reason in your ear.

Suggested forms:
Swan, Elephant, Koala, Panda, Chameleon, Wolf.

Take The Golden Compass Daemon Test at HelloQuizzy