Thank you for reading/listening/supporting my work! (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

1. The past few months have been a whirlwind of negotiations. How long can I stretch the dollars in my bank account? Am I giving up on my dreams by changing course? What is the balance between survival and maintaining my soul?

2. Everyone is tired, everything is expensive. I’ve never been an alcohol drinker and the older I get, the more tired my baseline gets. What does it look like to maintain a social life in your mid 30s without financial stability?

3. I’m really not into illusions unless I’m in on the magic trick.

4. Being in relationship (friendship, romance, any sort of intimacy) with a fellow auDHD person has its joys but it also comes with its own set of challenges. Especially when both of you have urgent needs that conflict and collide.

5. Repair is vulnerability. Even more vulnerable than conflict and rupture. While conflict brings up pain, repair brings up shame. It takes an immense amount of courage and ego death to open your heart again and again. But truly, it’s worth it. Even if it’s just for the practice.

6. Mostly, I moved out of NYC because I couldn’t afford to have a life there anymore. The price of rent, groceries, plus the anxiety of constantly being on guard and expending energy on nervous system regulation that could be spent on…living. Resting is living too, of course. But not being able to afford to be outside makes for a terribly isolating life.

7. I moved to LA to lower my cost of living and raise my quality of life. Having a feature-length screenplay and short film script in my pocket, I feel invested in these dreams and want to see them to fruition. I wrote my dream roles because I was tired of waiting for someone to hand me the job I want. I wrote the films I want to see, after years of study and research. I hope to find a film/TV/commercial agent out here and put my 8 years of training to use by becoming a working actor. Please send luck, love, and momentum!

8. Many things can be true. Choosing to see this sacrifice as an investment into my long-term dreams and visions is my way of maintaining agency and dignity in these dehumanizing, destabilizing times.

9. I wrote about the current administration’s ableist agenda for Vogue, here it is if you missed it.

10. I was also part of a months-long project with Tilting the Lens, CFDA, and Vogue as part of this year’s focus on adaptive fashion. I had the honor of being paired with designer Peter Do to collaborate on a piece I call my “autistic superhero fit of my dreams” because it carries all the sensory tools I need for an overstimulating day in the city. I plan to share more on the process soon but I’m still wrapping my mind around the fact that little me would flip at the thought of co-designing a custom piece that reflects not only my joy of dressing up but my functional, practical needs of navigating the world as a sensitive soul. Here is a page from the original mood board I put together:

11. Because of my constant struggle with finding foods I can eat, my partner suggested that I start sharing my gluten-free, dairy-free, pescatarian finds. My diet is so specific but all informed by an anti-inflammatory lifestyle to reduce my chronic depression and anxiety symptoms, so I wasn’t sure if it would be of much interest. I was wrong! Here are some recipes I compiled. Additionally I’ve been making easy hand rolls by making some rice (any rice works but I love the taste of jasmine rice), mixing in sesame oil + salt + pepper + coconut sugar (regular sugar works too, or any other sweetener), boiling some red Argentinian shrimp (the only frozen shrimp I’ve found that tastes good after it’s been frozen, Trader Joe’s has a bag for $11), mixing in chili oil (again, Trader Joe’s has a garlic onion chili crisp that I put on EVERYTHING!), kewpie mayo, then wrapping it in half a sheet of roasted seaweed (I order from Weee! for affordable Asian grocery delivery). Thought I’d share my latest easy-to-stretch, flavor-packed home meal with you as someone who hates cooking and hates washing dishes.

12. I watched the new Selena documentary on Netflix, told from the family’s point of view. As a former Texan, she’s such an inspirational figure to me. From her family-first upbringing to her iconic Houston Rodeo performance to the tragedy that ended her life, she’s a reminder that the greatest legacy you will leave behind is the way you live your life. Her life represents craft, care, resilience, and experimentation. Highly recommend watching for any artist, especially performers.

13. Harriet the Spy was one of the realest movies I saw as a kid. Divorce, whimsy, curiosity, friendship across class differences, exclusion, cancellation, redemption— major themes to cover in one story. Did you know, the movie was based on a 1964 children’s book by queer, radical writer and painter Louise Fitzhugh?

14. I’m slowly accepting that being an artist in late-stage capitalism means being in a constant state of compromise. Do I want everything I share to be an ad for something I’ve produced? No. Do I need the funds to sustain a lifestyle that allows me to keep investing in my dreams? Yes.

15. On that note, I have 3 offerings for artists and creative souls looking for resources to expand your capacity in these weird, wacky times. 1: I’ve uploaded a slightly updated version of my zine How to Build A World on my website. It’s been free for the past 2 years but I’ve made it available for an affordable price if you’d like to download, re-read, and support! 2: Over the past few months, I’ve revised (with more colors! with even clearer messages!) my zine Channeling: a guide to unlock creative flow and just re-uploaded the 2nd edition onto my website. This one is truly a culmination of 10+ years of creative exploration and it’s full of gems. 3: Tomorrow, I’ll be in conversation with Aki Hirata, founder of Minka Mystery School for a conversation on collective healing, neurodivergence, and embodied imagination. If any of these topics pique your interest, join us (for free!!) on Instagram Live at 12pm PST, 3pm EST. In transparency, we’ll also be promoting a leadership program Aki is spearheading. The code JEZZ will get you $400 off if you register in full by December 31, 2025. I will not be making any commissions off of this, I am just an enthusiast for healing resources that incorporate somatics and community care.

As always, thank you immensely for your continued support. If you feel compelled, please leave a comment with anything that resonated with you and/or any topics you’d love to see me write about in a future newsletter!

xoxo

Jezz

Need something to watch during your morning routine?

Looking for a lil pep talk to get the day started?

Romance yourself by watching episode 2 of Jezzlandia, out NOW ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

And ICYMI, Jezzlandia episode 1 is available too.

These videos really are a labor of love but I think I’ve made improvements from episode 1, already I see growth! The comments on the last video were EXTREMELY encouraging and gave me lots of momentum to start making the next episode so please— like, comment, subscribe, share! I understand why people say these words so much, they really do matter and make a difference after spending hours and hours and hours on a video, it feels affirming!

And while I’m here, a random pebble: I’m listening to A Complicated Passion: The Life and Work of Agnès Varda on audiobook and her resilience as an artist is astounding. 10/10 recommend for all filmmakers and cinephiles!

As always, thank you so much for supporting my journey!

xoxo

Jezz

The word vlog is so misleading. It sounds simple. But thinking of a narrative, filming clips to support this idea, feeling uncomfortable recording yourself in public, editing videos of yourself as you say “like” and “um” more times than you’re comfortable with, sifting through hundreds of videos, finding music that conveys a calming tone, editing to feel engaging, fingers cramping, doing this all in iMovie then having to export because CapCut has different features like being able to add captions and make text pop up without weird transitions, picking fonts, finding visual references because those always help me when I’m watching talking head videos, resizing, re-editing, recording voiceover, captioning, re-checking the caption transcript for spelling and timing, making a cover image, and finally finally exporting for the 5th time— this is not vlogging.

This is filmmaking.

And even if there are things I still need to figure out— like exporting without taking up 3 GB of storage on my computer and how to make all the visuals look consistent— you’ll see in the first few minutes why I’m gravitating towards vlogging as an artform.

It’s confronting to edit yourself, but it’s also healing.

And I want future me to look back and remember what I did, remember that even during times of hardship, I chose to live. And fight for my right to stay alive.

Making this vlog was a huge lesson in accepting imperfection. But perfection is such a high standard to aim for. I’d rather go for honesty. And if I measure myself by the honesty I infused into my process, I’m very very very proud of myself.

This was also a lesson in reflection— seeing myself compassionately, romancing my life as it is, working with the tools I currently have, and being okay with where I land.

But seriously…if you know any fun iMovie hacks or if you know how to use CapCut and have tips, leave a comment. Watch me improve with each episode because— we get better at anything we practice.

🎺 I now present to you 🎺 THE FIRST EPISODE OF JEZZLANDIA!!!

Thank you immensely for your time and support, it really does fuel me.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

Dear islanders!

Do you believe that revolutions happen at every scale? If so, what have been the revolutions in your own life? If a social revolution looks like a radical shift in political power, what moments in your life have shifted the ways you direct the momentum of your own energy?

Grace Lee Boggs writes of revolution as an awakening to a sense of social responsibility:

“Rebellions tend to be negative, to denounce and expose the enemy without providing a positive vision of a new future... A revolution is not just for the purpose of correcting past injustices, a revolution involves a projection of [a person] into the future... It begins with projecting the notion of a more human human being, i.e. a human being who is more advanced in the specific qualities which only human beings have— creativity, consciousness and self-consciousness, a sense of political and social responsibility.”

Then maybe, a personal revolution can look like a shift in the way we practice our creativity. Lately, that’s what I’ve been doing. Preserving, consolidating, looking for clues, trying different things, and pulling things apart to see how I can make something new with what I’ve already got.

The holidays felt like one humbling moment after another, crisis upon crisis. Thank HEAVENS my sleep came back but for a couple weeks I was so afraid to go to bed because I was dreading the feeling of waking back up and everything being the same. I think that was the tipping point that led me to try antidepressants again after seven years of holistic treatment. Sleep is so so so so very sacred to me. Even in college when I was juggling two majors and a bunch of extracurriculars, I made a commitment not to compromise on my sleep because without sleep, I fully malfunction. It’s been almost 3 weeks of a daily dose of 10mg escitalopram and I think it was the gentle support I needed to start recovering from what has felt like unending struggle.

Shit is rough right now ya’ll. It’s likely that if you’re reading this, you’re feeling it too. We’re adapting to this changing world, pivoting our priorities as needed, and letting go of habits that are hurting us. We’re divesting and reinvesting, dismantling and reimagining, discerning and clarifying, asking and accepting. Likely, if you’re reading this, you’re also reading other queer, disabled, neurodivergent, Black, Brown writers and maybe it’s because we know that people like us have been in situations like this before. Our ancestors, relatives, and loved ones know what it’s like to persistently invent new ways to stay alive.

I guess that’s kind of what Jezzlandia is to me. My experiment to stay alive. I’ve changed the name of this newsletter from This Way to Change to Jezzlandia, and I’m imagining this place as a little digital island to play with concepts and themes and philosophies I love to explore, and make it fun along the way :)))))

Thank you greatly to everyone who has sent Venmo gifts (@jezzchung), subscribed this week, upgraded their subscription, and sent words of encouragement. The momentum has quite literally been feeding me. Like a Neopet!

Back to this idea of personal revolutions. I think collective revolutions spark personal revolutions and vice versa. One of the biggest revolutions in my life happened in 2020, when I resigned from a job that I had designed. I was approaching diversity, equity, and inclusion through the lens of creativity and wellness, something I didn’t see anyone else doing. My job involved speaking at conferences and colleges, helping recruit new talent, and building out a yearlong strategy to execute programming and partnerships the company had never done before.

Months before I resigned, I was furloughed from this job the same week I was on the cover of Adweek. I’ll never forget the timing because it was so jarring to react to those two experiences at once. While my salary was withheld and my job put on pause, my phone was filled with congratulatory messages, words of support, words that enforced my worth and value and reminded me that I actually was making an impact. I had an epiphany: I’d invested so much of myself into a relationship that deemed me disposable, and at the same time none of this said anything about my abilities— as a creative, as a thinker, as a “leader.” This job I’d poured my vision and labor into could be cut, just like that. I told myself I needed to redirect my source of security, to regain a sense of inner authority. I didn’t yet know I wanted to be an actor, a filmmaker, an educator, or any of the things I do now. I surely wasn’t calling myself an artist yet. I just knew I needed to invest in a different version of myself. So I started envisioning a different life. A whole presidency term later, here I am.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ Knowledge takes time to apply. ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

During this grim week where so much is in jeopardy regarding the quality of our lives, I’m thinking of this superpower I have: an ability to envision something different, even within challenging circumstances.

The truth is, I don’t want to fit myself into a role that doesn’t fit me if I don’t absolutely have to. Especially not when my visions are this strong and my calling feels this clear. Especially not when the world is in this much need of healing and support. The more I sit with it, the more fulfilled I feel investing my efforts in growing this digital foundation, coming up with curriculum related to my interests, and archiving lessons I learn from my life experiences. It’s kind of like I’m building out my ideal job description and then just…doing it. And asking, hoping, praying, wishing, and campaigning (as you will likely see more of the next few weeks) for a foundation of support that can sustain this model of working “outside” traditional systems.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ The best way to learn something is by living it. ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

I’ve had conversation with artist friends about what a solidarity economy could look like. What would it be like if we had an economy that valued reciprocity and mutual aid? What if making art was a valued profession? What if we all became each other’s sources of economic stability? Maybe some change we need at a larger level but we can also put some of these ideas into motion now. Practice it, live it, try it.

I will of course still be looking for and accepting speaking inquiries, freelance opportunities, etc. The 1,000 subscribers I’m aiming for would only cover my baseline bills. But wouldn’t it be cool if I could do this throughout the year and not worry about maintaining access to food and housing?

I know that my impact is best made when I have the energy and resources to create from a place of passion, when I have room to answer to my intuition.

See This Way to Change. Dreaming Different. Through the Void. How to Build A World. Channeling. Plus the hundreds of resource guides, infographics, and pieces of art I’ve made and shared.

All this to say— this is why I’m now campaigning toward 1,000 monthly paid subscribers. A thousand monthly subscribers at $5/month would build a baseline foundation for me to stay on this island and tend to everything I have built here! What I practice in Jezzlandia is art making, community building, and resource sharing. There are supposedly 42,000+ people around the world who have found my work on a different digital island that we will not name. I’m hoping that the people who have found me there will dive deeper with me here.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ You just might be the source of security you’re looking for. ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

Lastly, here’s a doodle I made on Procreate! If you want to suggest something for me to draw in the next iteration of Jezzlandia, leave a comment!

With hope and forward momentum,

Jezz