[

mood

|

nostalgic

]

Well...it's been fun with this journal...it was my first...and I felt like I had a friend in it (sounds like it died haha)...I'll miss you jerrisweetness!

[

mood

|

cold

]

I'm cold and lazy and tired cause I just spent an hour trying to delete undeletable adware files. Damn them all. Luckily, I managed to do it somehow. Ugh. Byebye

[

mood

|

nauseated

]

We have to have a girl's night at Jerri's creepy house or Crystal's even creepier house or something, because I say so. hhahaha. We need to stay up and talk about freaky shit, so me and Brandie with out (possibly) pregnant selves can be like "OH SHIT" and freak out twice as bad as anyone else. God I hope I'm not pregnant, only cause that poor kid would be born to parents that are broke as a joke. Ugh. If I had a job...and maybe was done with school...I would be ecstatic. Oh well. Everything happens for a reason.

[

mood

|

cranky

]

Okay. So as most of you (actually none of you) know...I think I might be pregnant. Yeah I know it seems every month one of us says that...And I won't find out for another month or so...but a lot of stuff seems to fit in place. Which scares me quite much so. So much in fact, that this time I actually got two E.P.T.'s. Symptoms?:
*Tender/Swollen breasts that have become bigger I think...
*Way moodines
*More personal t.m.i stuff
*Frequent unrination
*Way exhaustion
*When I'm not exhausted sex drive = through roof
*More frequent backaches (but I have these 24/7 anyway lol)
Ugh...I dunno

[

mood

|

drained

]

I'm skipping my Human Sexuality class because it is too early in the morning to talk about Sexual Pleasuring...ick lol. So I'm currently in my school's library. bye bye...possibly more later?

[

mood

|

chipper

]

Well lotsa stuff has been put out in the open tonight. Like the fact that Dustin had a HUGE crush on Mandee before we started dating. Which is okay 'cause I got info out of him that I found cheerful-to-me-like...I was saying that she's one up on me because that makes all three of the guys in liking her at some point, and me only two (Dustin & Shawn)...well then he laughs and kinda sits there like, well then you two are equal, because Scott did have a crush on you when he first met you. Dustin's exact words: "Yeah he thought you were THE hot shit until you started hitting me in front of him, then they didn't like you very much. Then I said he just thought I was hot, that didn't count, but then he says "No, he really liked you, I was generalizing the stuff he said about you, basically." Maybe I'll get what else he said about me outta Dustin haha. I needed the ego boost, what can I say? Dustin says Lee might've very possibly had a crush on Mandee. So who knows? Maybe this riddiculously shallow-selfish post will be preceeded with one on that confirmation. LOL. And my favoritest cousins are coming down this summer. I can't wait. I completely miss them haaha. Okay gotts go night night...gots school tomorrow ya know...

[

mood

|

amused

]

    Something for you Cabbage! For getting fired like me. Happy Firing from sucky job-ige to you!

<3 Jerri

[

mood

|

sad/rejected/unpretty/confused

]

I am not happy. Okay, now that I've said it...I feel...still unhappy. I wish I could express and show everyone the shit I've gone through and the shit I've thought the past week. Maybe that will explain things. I feel unwanted from everyone except Dustin, and although I'm sure it's probably my fault, I still am hurt by this. I am really moody lately...especially later on at night. Me and Dustin almost broke up last night. We're bored with each other. I think 'we' have lost the passion. We need to find it again before I really fuck things up for us. Scott used to like Mandee, and he even said so: convo:

We were talking about Scott not liking girls who weren't skinny. His response "No, 'cause I used to have a crush on Mandee and then I found out Shawn really liked her." Sometimes in situations like these...I like to scream and cry. But I didn't. Even though I figured in my head, that A.) All three of the guys have liked her at some point in time and B.) Probably around the time he liked her, was the same time I really liked him. Yeah I did have a big crush on him. I know of only one other person besides Dustin who knows that and that's Rocky. I liked him and Dustin at the same time...I think I may have liked him even more. He didn't even notice me then. He didn't even like me I think...That's the truth and no one else knew that until you guys reading this now, has. I felt like I was horribly ugly and disfigured after he said that. I have been in a moody...sad and depressed mood since then. Why does everyone always like her? Why do I have to analyze this stuff? I wanna be the pretty one again, that's if I ever was to begin with. I'm bored with Dustin and us doing the same thing every day. But I love him very much. I'm stuck. I'm pretty sure he feels stuck too. So he's feeling obligated to stay with me. That hurts a lot. I hate feeling like this. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about this. If we break up, I'll never be the same. I won't be happy. I won't be able to see our friends anymore, because of course, they would side with him. People naturally like Dustin more than me. Maybe I'm jealous of him...or that. I dunno. I want a guy to like me besides Dustin. Then I'll feel better about myself. But seeing as how I doubt that will happen...oh well. I can't even begin to describe the pain I feel right now. It hurts so bad to think Dustin isn't as interested in me as he was...that I don't look or feel as good as I did when we first started going out...that even thought Mandee is like almost 100lbs. heavier than me, guys like her more than me. WTF. Why am I a selfish bitch? I want Dustin...and I want him to want me...I don't want him to be with anyone else...it would kill me.  Even though...:sighs:

[

mood

|

amused

]

And my weakness is...I care too much

Okay, I don't consider it too much. I'm a good friend, I swear. That's all.

I tear my heart open and sew it shut...

[

mood

|

awake

]

omg I am boooooreeeedddddd...this is quite sad to me. lol. I have GOT to find something to do until I become sleepy...damnit.
ugh. I wish I had something to write about. I think I'm gonna read a book now.
PEACE

[

mood

|

tired

]

( okay I forgot to lj cut it sowwyCollapse )

[

mood

|

weird

]

Keyword of the day?:

SPELUNKKING!

[

mood

|

watery eyes-like

]

I don't care 'cause I'm listening to one of the most kick-ass songs ever...I used to LOVE this movie : THE CHIPMUNK ADVENTURE...and I love the soundtrack : The Girls and Boys of Rock N' Roll. The Chipettes kick ass!


Okay besides that...I can barely see out of my right eye...bleh. And I'm hungry, and I wanna see people but I cannot because of my damn eye. Damn it.

[

mood

|

dance-like

]

I am soo hyper...and I'm listening to the song of the night: "No Rain" by Blind Melon...which is a song about be lame and plain and bored haha. That's me right now. So that's the song of the night. I wish something exciting happened in my life today...then I could be all 'omg this is what happened to me today!!'...but alas...Nothing happened. I did have an interesting dream this morning (I would say last night, but most of my dreams occur right before I wake up in the morning, soo it makes no sense to say last night)...yeah:

I would like to entitle it; "The One with Blue Lace and a Party for Many"

So okay, Dustin, me and pretty much ALL of my friends were at this house that I've never seen before, out in Suffolk, in the middle of nowhere. Everyone was having a grand ol' time, and there was everything you could possibly want to do there, (not drugs but I mean like we had like 30 different board games and a pool and a trampoline and a pool table and an arcade/slots room) and then there was a huge stero system that covered one huge ass wall, and it was blasting different kinds of music but the song I remember on it was 'Celebrate' by Daft Punk and EVERYONE WAS DANCING THEIR ASSES OFF! Even the guys haha, and there was karaoke, and I know me and Dustin ended up going to sleep in a nice cozy bedroom in a queen sized bed, and I had on blue lace undergarments and I was skinnier which was nice...I think it was New Year's Eve, and I remember thinking omg someone is gonna come in here and see me in this thing, and I for some reason couldn't get the covers away from Dustin and then the next morning my DAD came in and found me just like that! And that's all I remember...okay. Yeah.

Kooky huh? (hate that word soooo much)...But now I'm listening to the Daft Punk song now, so bye :)
PEACE

[

mood

|

girly

]

I'm happy even though I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow. Oh well, it's not affecting me right now....so yeah. I'm all girlified right now 'cause I made my 'Girly playlist cd'...haha. GIRL POWER GUYS SUCK :P haha I dunno. I'm actually waiting for Dustin to get home from the gym. He better do it sometime soon, or I'll be sad. Okay bye.

[

mood

|

content

]

I got to watch my favorite non-adult-centered show, Degrassi: The Next Generation!! I'm happy about that, and that my stomach pain is not present. And that I dunno...lol...But I have to do some homework and stuff and then wash dishes and sweep the kitchen. No, I'm not Cinderella...I just like being nice every once in a while. So boo-ya.

[

mood

|

aggravated

]

Okay...so I am really not feeling great...okay I feel better now, but still earlier was absolutely not a good day for me at all...SUCH a long story...Okay so lemme start off with yesterday firstoff...
I went into Michael's at 1 yesterday, under the assumption that I was gonna do some paperwork, watch a few tapes and do some computer training. Yeah, well it was quite more than that...they had me do all that shit, (watching SEVEN videos) and then the computer program wouldn't work. Okay then I had to go up front (they gave me my apron) and start real training...so I did that for about an hour and a half (it's like 4:30 by now) and then they want me to get on my own register, after that amount of training, and I'm like wtf? I JUST started training, why are they in a hurry?? So they had to configure me a employee sign on number...which took like another hour...and then I was on my own for like and hour or so, then they wanted me to help in 'recovery' which is reshopping and cleaning the aisles and floor up, so I did that. On Sunday's we close at 7, so it was a quarter 'till 7, and they made me do that. Then it took until 8:03 to finish...then I got in my car to find my parents and Dustin were looking for me all over the place, and my parents were really worried...So I had to explain to them that they didn't tell me I was supposed to work from 1-close. Bullshit, I swear. So I was supposed to go in today @ 3-close again, but I did not, and Saturday I go in from 1-7, so I don't have to do recovery, which I would actually rather do than work the retarded registers they have...Why didn't I go to work? Well trust me if it wasn't for the fact that I felt like someone was literally cutting/ripping out my intestines, I would've. The pain I've been having for the past 3-4 years has finally gotten to me, and I get it between 2-3 times a month, every damn month, and it usually lasts for 2 days. So I've been worried about it, but I went to bed last night with my stomach all of the sudden in pain...and I tried to ignore it, but that didn't happen. So I basically got 2 hours of sleep, only to have to wake up at 6:45 to go to school, which wasn't bad considering I had an aching pain in my abdomen, and it was pouring down rain and windy as hell. So then I got home at 1:30ish, only to have an hour and a half before I had to go to work. Bleh. So then the pain REALLY started to kick my ass...and then I started crying and having shortness of breath from the pain, and i threw up...oh it was BAAAAAAD...so my mom called Michael's and some bitch was like "well she should be calling herself" and my mom got pissed and was like 'well I'm sorry she is unable to do much of anything, much less make a phone call. But I will remember that in the future." So that pissed me off, then my dad came home and took me to the Bon Secours in Churchland. Four hours later...I have to go to some Gastrointestinology place...and that sort of thing, that I might have acute gastritis, or something worse, take Pepcid complete for a month...and for the next 24 hours, eat liquids only. BOO. This sucks...so that has been my night...oh but one good thing did come from it...I am finall yonline in my own damn room. FINALLY.
PEACE

[

mood

|

happy/bored

]

I GOTS A JOB MOFO's! I start Sunday @ 1 MICHAELS woopwoop...$7 an hour, hells yes. Okay that's it. I am very very very very very very very bored....and my boyfriend is spending 'guy time' with the boys :sadness:. Well,
PEACE

[

mood

|

dance-like

]

Well I'm in a very good mood, despite the nasty weather outside.
I have an interview at Michael's tomorrow at 2. They weren't really hiring when I went there, just accepting applications. And I still got an interview, not to mention Spencer's is most likely (if the lady was being honest) call me back this week for an interview. I just hope that they call soon, I wanna be able to choose the highest paying place lol. I dunno how much you make at any of the places I applied...but hopefully at LEAST $6...I will be pissed off if they don't. I gots bills to pay and a car to buy. Damnit.
My sister just told me she just got a 2000 Chrysler 300M (niiice car), and that they're coming down for easter and staying for like 6 days. I happy about that. That would definitely make my month lol. Okay well that's all of the good news I can think of.
PEACE