Ordinary days

Lithium

jema — Mon, 17 Jun 2019 02:45:47 GMT

... Is awesome. Oxygen is too but while oxygen keeps me alive lithium makes me think it's a good thing. Oh and baking, reading and cats.

Cooking should be for pleasure only

jema — Fri, 23 Dec 2016 01:16:58 GMT

That is a quote from one of my first posts back in 2001 and I stand by it! I hate having to cook. But I love to do it with a sense of adventure and artistic flair. Back when I were still drinking alcohol I tended to raid the freezer and cook up the most amazing things in the middle of the night after some wine. Since alcohol and bipolar disorder is quite and catastrophy I gave up all alcohol 2 years ago.

One of the few 'hobbies' I had even in times of depression have been to bake. But when I am really down I can't even do that. Right now I am pretty mellow though. Low but not frightfully low. So baking is still something fun. I do wish I had friends up here though that would come visit more and eat my cookies.

jema — Sun, 18 Dec 2016 23:18:47 GMT

Morrissey - Everyday is like Sunday

Trudging slowly over wet sand
Back to the bench where your clothes were stolen
This is the coastal town
That they forgot to close down
Armageddon, come Armageddon!
Come, Armageddon! Come!

Everyday is like Sunday
Everyday is silent and grey

Hide on the promenade
Etch a postcard :
"How I Dearly Wish I Was Not Here"
In the seaside town
That they forgot to bomb
Come, come, come, nuclear bomb

Everyday is like Sunday
Everyday is silent and grey

Trudging back over pebbles and sand
And a strange dust lands on your hands
(And on your face)
(On your face)
(On your face)
(On your face)

Everyday is like Sunday
"Win yourself a cheap tray"
Share some greased tea with me
Everyday is silent and grey

11 in 11 days

jema — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 18:09:17 GMT

Jeanette Winterson - 'Weight' a retelling of the myth of Atlas carrying the universe and Heracles filling in for him a little time. Throw in some Laika lost in space and a lot of talk about responsibility.

Joyce Carol Oates - 'Black water' I have been meaning to read more Oates just to find out if I like her or not. Still not convinced.

Joyce Carol Oates - 'Beasts' Still not 100% sure... but a bit better.

Joyce Carol Oates - 'Rape, a love story' I did like this one, well, parts of it. And isn't that a rather interesting title?

Salman Rushdie 'Midnight's children' Amazing and long and quite difficult at times but worth it. The last third of the book went by fast.

Mindy Kaling 'Is everyone hanging out without me' I needed some lighter reading inbetween Rushdie and Winterson.

Jenn Campbell - 'Weird things customers say in bookshops' Quite a delight, read in one sitting.

Cheryl Strayed 'Wild' Listened to from BBC 4X radio.

Stephen Grosz - 'The examined life' BBC radio again.

Also listened to John Dryden 'The reluctant spy' but didn't like it much. And re-read Paul Auster's 'The red notebook' and loved it!!!

jema — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 19:49:16 GMT

On the to-read pile.

jema — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:16:27 GMT

Still here - sometimes.

Just some photos for now:

Charlie:

Moms kitten Trulls:

This is where I post by the way
http://saidenne.wordpress.com/
And I am at facebook! http://www.facebook.com/pixelina

jema — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 15:14:48 GMT

gonna try and find a new cool wallpaper for my bedroom. this one is a weird red/purple/pink that don't really show up on this photo

jema — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 09:22:07 GMT

I am not active on LJ right now even though I still do read my friendpage almost daily.
You will find me more on FB and posting my tarot stuff here: http://saidenne.wordpress.com/

jema — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 00:30:15 GMT

just reading about the terrorist attack in Oslo got me out of balance. Who in their right mind will kill kids?
Someone dressed as a police officer, told the kids to gather around him and then just shot them. How could killing kids ever be used to prove a point? Sick sick people.

Navigators 6 of swords

jema — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 15:26:14 GMT

What I see:
A golden skinned man takes a leap over a river. In his hand a sword and behind him 5 more are pointing at him. He is dressed in a hat with stars, an armbracer with a star and a lion on his thigh. Behind him trails a black cape and in his heand a cap of a graduate. He is leaping towards a pillar with symbols on them, I see a candle, a bell and a book, a pair of crossed swords and a sun/moon(?) In the ocean we see a submarine emerging, creating waves.

I love that this is such an active card, he is not simply being ferried off somewhere, he is leaping! He has a clear intent and shows bravery in the face of danger (like the lion on his thigh)

Symbolism:
"The pillar of true science rising on the right and marked with the occult metaphors of bell, book & candle, a nightly ritual of study which takes place in obscurity but which reveals true light"
The bell, book and candle was originally a ritual of excommunication from the catholic church. 'Ring the bell, close the book, quench the candle'

Today this card reminds me to not be so scared of sharing my thoughts. My mind is active and quick and a thing to be proud of and not hide. Take the leap – dare to shine.

From the LWB:
Diving into the depths of the unconscious mind on a voyage of sublime discorvery. New creative ideas bring new comprehension. Free your mind of restrictive ideas and repeated anxieties. The future holds a change for you which conatins great intellectual challenges.

8 of Swords - Curtailment

jema — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 20:13:46 GMT

What I see:
Inside (or outside?) a fortress with a high grey wall we see an orange rider on a black horse, in the middle of what looks like combat. The rider holds one sword in the right hand, with the left arm protecting his chest, his head is turned and he looks over his shoulder. On his thigh is a piece of armor with a red phone on it! Only 2 of the swords are pointing at the rider and his horse, the others are circling/blocking him like bars. One of the swords is piercing an orange cloth.
In the background is a white pyramid from with emanates 7 rays of light (green, yellow, orange and red coming in our direction, pink, blue and indigo projected on the fortress wall)

There is a feeling of threat and restriction here. You cannot go forward but must retreat.

Questions:
What is the source of the light being refracted?
What does the orange cloth mean? (same colour as the rider, a threat that he too will be pierced or a peace-flag being offered?)

I feel:
Restricted cause I have taken something too far, being out of my comfort-zone. I may be hard pressed but there are openings here (like the phone that reminds me of gameshows with the option to 'call a friend' and also the pierced flag)
The refracted light from the pyramid makes me feel like I need to step back and analyze the situation by taking it in smaller parts (picking it apart)

Curtailment - restraint - the act of controlling by restraining someone or something

Navigators tarot of the mystic SEA

jema — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:52:12 GMT

9 of Wands – intensity

What I see:
It is night. There is a full moon. On a dark grey floor is painted a half-circle in a pink/peach colour. Around it stands 6 lit torches. One torch, still lit, is laying on the ground and 2 more are being held by a being, pink with no feet that is floating about another figure laying down in the floor. The figure laying on the ground has a cresent moon on the left leg. The floating figure looks like he is coming out from the belly of the one laying down, they are connected. The floating figure is bald, with no hat, only wearing a cat's head necklace.

I often see this card as creating space. To prepare room or time for self-expression. Or see it as preparation for something, like a pregnancy maturing to birth. (9 months)
The RWS image of the weary soldier guarding something... The fallen figure is he dead or just sleeping and dreaming and is that himself in astral form keeping the watch?

This is a new deck for me and I don't have a book, just the little LWB so I am missing out on a lot of details that may be personal to Julia Turk. Still, the images fascinate me.

(from the LWB)
Approach the unknown with skepticism and determination to double-check interpretations and assumptions
Don’t let linear thinking confuse and mislead you from the correct path you are seeking
Let your instincts choose your actions instead of sensible explanations
A partner will enter your sphere of reference, leading to a difficult but rewarding relationship

cleaning fever...

jema — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 09:48:35 GMT

My apartment always been a mess but this week I been having the cleaning fever and managed all laundry, all of the kitchen, rearranged and cleaned the livingroom so today it is the closets and the bedroom. I might even take some pics of this place when I am done.

I lived here 8 months now or more and still haven't fully unpacked some stuff and need to pack other stuff and put in the attic. And hang my photos and paintings up! and lamps... ugh, this will take all week. But when done I will throw a dinner for family and friends, yeah a BBQ with sangria.

My cat was a bit apprehensive of the new living room layout and the new sofa at first but now she loves it, she even refused to sleep in my bed like usual, she slept on a blanket in the sofa!

I got some horrible damaged wodden floors in a fishbone pattern, they were beautiful once but not they are worn down and lost their shine and I guess I need to polish them down a millimeter but for now I am just getting some rugs at some flea market.

quotes

jema — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 21:17:14 GMT

“The true harvest of my life is intangible - a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched”
Henry David Thoreau

To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.
Joseph Chilton Pearce

and this

"why play word games with concepts such as 'extra.ordinary' when we haven't even really encountered the ordinary"

those are the quotes i carried with me the longest

What is yours?

jema — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 19:57:53 GMT

Watching TV is just so horrid, it is ALL about murder, diseases or who can make the best pie or whatever.
Just food and death. Is that life? Eat and die.
(I guess if I were into it I could get a porn channel and then have eat, fuck and die)

It's my birthday soon and I am gonna buy myself some books. Give me some ideas on what. I know I will get the new Siri Hustvedt but that is it really.

sticking to it

jema — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 12:36:15 GMT

i really suck at sticking to it. like posting all them youtube songs, i just lost my drive. oh well, just imagine the list filled with songs from the 80:ies and 90:ies.

actually i just suck at keeping anything going online, i still write everyday in my scattered paper journals though, just found my 2002 tarot journal in the attic while looking for my fan.

i read a lot right now, just finished Paul Auster 'Invisible' and am now reading Patti Smith 'Just kids' + some tarot books.
think i am about to get sick though, i feel cold and tired and on the edge and just wanna bite anyone for even talking to me - and sometimes for not talking to me.

Day 6

jema — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 20:22:34 GMT

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere

Patti Smith - Chiclets
My best friend Heli made me a mixed tape for my stay in Lisbon and i kept playing this over
and over in my little walkman. So whenever i hear this i am walking down Baixa to Tejo and
just absolutely LOVING life and people and even the whole sordid crumbling praca do
commercia and the soupkitchings and the strung out beggars and the smell of chestnuts
mixed with the sea-breeze.

Day 5

jema — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 20:16:46 GMT

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone

David Bowie - Life on Mars
I can't listen to those older songs by Bowie without being taken back to early 80:ies sitting in my best friend's room and feeling so much more sophisticated then our classmates who only listened to disco or argued over who was the cutest guy in some long forgotten band.
Our guide into the 'cool' music was her older sister who worked as a model in Stockholm, she was everything we wanted to be. In the end it all turned sour, my friend got hooked on heroin and worked the streets in Stockholm in a far less glamourous way then modeling. But when we were fresh-faced and thirteen we still had the dreams and we knew every word in every Bowie song.

jema — Mon, 30 May 2011 07:16:12 GMT

day 04 - a song that makes you sad

Baby Bird - Take me back

jema — Sun, 29 May 2011 08:38:46 GMT

a little snapshot of Kajsa Katt

Mothersday in sweden at least and my present is a surströmmingsdinner. but it is too windy outside and you can't really eat surströmming inside.
So it will have to wait a week or so.

Kajsa is out climbing the appletree, will try and get some better photos later, I am just too lazy to work the camera these days. I still got my old flower-photos all over my apartment though.

Day 2 + 3

jema — Sun, 29 May 2011 08:16:46 GMT

day 02 - your second favorite song
Was supposed to be my least fave song but I Never really notice least fave songs so I am just adding another GREAT song:-p

day 03 - a song that makes you happy

jema — Fri, 27 May 2011 15:40:51 GMT

Inspired by He1ena, thought I would give it a go:
day 01 - your favorite song
day 02 - your least favorite song
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

Day 1 My favorite song. Really hard to pick just one but I chose this one cause it really puts me in a different state of mind.

Sonic Youth Diamond sea. It should really be like 15 minutes log or so...

SYTYCD

jema — Fri, 27 May 2011 15:19:02 GMT

My fave show just started again:
http://www.fox.com/dance/
Watching the first 2 episodes now and there are some amazing dancers on.

this is my all time favorite SYTYCD moment though...

Music by Damien Rice

jema — Tue, 17 May 2011 07:41:57 GMT

My brother is cleaning out his apartment a bit and found some stuff that was mine. Like a DVD with my old website on it!
Would be fun to get it up again, just for laughs. It is so 10 years ago to even have a website.
Especially one with public domain backgrounds and handcoded HTML

I just can't be bothered to get webspace to post it on.

He also found my old album from when I was a lil toddler. And a folder filled with typewriter printed angsty poems from when I was in my teens. oh the horror...

jema — Thu, 05 May 2011 23:58:34 GMT

Hey, you remember your first months online, like when you finally got that whole WWW thing down and felt all savvy? What did you do, where did you go?

For me it was back in 1996 or so and Netscape was the BOMB!
I found this online soap called "the spot" about some fictive people living in LA spending their days being pretty etc. I remember wondering 'Is this all there is?'

And today, I think i was right!