To say 28 whooped my behind is an understatement.

28 brought me a lot of growing pains — losing my job brought mental strife and a creative process that made me feel as if I was not good enough. Not good enough of a employee, not good enough of a journalist, not good enough of a writer [because I didn’t write every single day], and instead of fight or flight, I chose an old reliable without even thinking yet again— - a comfort zone worse than a toxic ex - whether that’s former lover, friend, family member or foe. Instead of Flight or Fight , I chose Frozen.

In February, I lost my job and immediately, I applied to jobs and continued my mundane routine— apply to jobs and just freeze. I felt trapped, worried, but I knew a job was coming my way, I needed to wait for my time. But throughout those first few months, I still felt low and depressed.

Then came June— and Love Island USA.

I think this is where I snapped out of my funk. I was already building a following on tiktok, but instagram is where I felt uncomfortable because of the algorithm, trends, and niche on that app, yet I still challenged myself to stop being scared on Instagram and start posting everyday and see what happens.

I started posting daily in mid June.

By Mid July, I had 1M people interacting with my page.

My TikTok grew to 5k this past summer and now I’m at 6500+ with 2.1m likes on that platform.

I got offered to do interviews at an event thrown by a well respected DJ/teacher/mentor in the community [shout out, Demi Korrin!] who loved my news videos I started doing after love island USA ended, and wanted me to attend so I can interview people in the community.

I asked my friend Nicole to help with my video for the event, thinking we would get some views and people might be hesitant to speak to us and girl, I have never been happier to be wrong.

The community embraced us! After I posted my videos, people would come up to me and tell me they love my videos and it really would bring me so much joy to know people care about what I [and those I interview] have to say. Not to mention, the feedback about my editing is an honor! When I do these interviews, I listen back and immediately get inspired. The creativity visions start coming to me, and sometimes I have to edit exactly what is in my brain. If it doesn’t look/sound right, I won’t put it in ( it’s all for the sake of journalism.)

My silly little videos about Succession on tiktok turned into me getting recognized for my videos about love island to being invited to events and sent gifts from brands. This is on the beginning but this is also my written accountability that I am going to stay on my generational run, by any means necessary.

In the midst of all of this, real life happened — I moved out of my apt complex, ending an era. I started making more videos when I started living on my own and I really did not look back. Despite the bittersweet feeling of leaving, it really is the start of something new, as well as enjoying deepening the friendships and relationships Ive cultivated the past few years. I created my own sense of community without as many group chats as I once had. While I am a tad farther out from my usual hangouts with the homies, I enjoy the level of peace I’m feeling in this home. A sense of love, laughter, tradition, and comfort I did not feel in my childhood {which is another story for another day}.

Last week, I turned 29 – and my birthday ended with a phone call finding out that my father lost the house my grandmother worked so hard to keep since the 60s. the childhood home I grew up in and spent summers in is no longer in our family. The wound is still fresh and I do not want to go into too much detail, but now I am heartbroken for my grandmother, who has been gone since 2019. Life is hard and filled with joy but also these hard moments are a reminder of knowing when to let go of a grudge, hear all sides out, and learn your boundaries. When I think about or see photos of my dad, I have to move away from it or else I’ll seethe in anger and then stop for a second and push past the feeling to focus on something else. can be angry. It’s okay to be angry when things happen, but let the feeling pass –

don’t simmer in it.

Now, a week after my birthday, as I sit at my desk, typing away and reminiscing on my year as I enter the final year of my 20s. How I spent my 20s being understanding of others and their feelings over mine, put others fist even if it means I struggle in many fields - financially, physically, mentally, etc.- and just feeling all. the. rage.

I have woken up almost daily at one point this year and screamed internally, I don’t want to live this way the rest of my life! Something has to change!!

This is why 29 means something to me. This year is the restart of the rest of my life and it starts with following one rule on my list of 29 — Be strict.

I must be strict with my program, which means to be strict with my time, energy, and life.

When Kim Cattrall said, ”I don’t want to be in a situation for even an hour where I’m not enjoying myself!”, it altered my brain chemistry. it stayed with me to this day. If I don’t wanna go out, I’m staying home! If I don’t like something, I will announce it, and if I hurt someone’s feelings, I’ll be open to hearing them out so I can apologize and we can talk it out. But mainly, I’m not going to put myself out there for someone that disappoints me constantly.

I know what it’s like if you are not strict with others in your life because then they will not take you seriously. I had to do so much work to have people who respect me. I won’t stay around someone that doesn’t give a damn about me. Nor will I continue to keep you around! and that goes for family too.

If you aren’t strict with your time, life, and your boundaries, you’ll have people play in your face all day long and you know you don’t deserve that treatment.

I have let people get away with damn near murder of my character and sometimes you have to let them say what they want, because at that point, it’s a compliment and they adore you.

Be strict. Be stricter than ever.

I have not leaned on astrology in a long time, but I have truly enjoyed becoming the strict Scorpio friend. I won’t take anyone’s disrespect.

This new strict me is something I am still testing out because that requires routine, patience, help, and some grace (for myself.) but trust, you will be seeing her!
All I do wish for myself this year is to choose what’s right for me vs what’s right for everyone else.