I haven't forgotten to test or forgotten to post it. I've been thinking about how I've been doing this after someone sent me a PM after my last glucose posting. And I realized he's right.
I've been looking at the situation entirely the wrong way, really. I've been seeing this as "My blood has too much sugar in it. If I watch what I'm doing and take my meds, it should go down, like a bank account that's in active use. $100 - $80 - $65 - $40..." And that's not how it works. I have been concentrating far too hard on the idea that my sugar is lower today than it was yesterday. Yes, it is, but not for the reasons or under the rationale I was thinking it was. It's not a matter of time...even watching everything I was supposed to watch and doing everything I was supposed to do, my daily fasting glucose was huge, by any reasonable standard. Which means that my body isn't going to work with me the way it's supposed to.
I mean, I knew that wasn't the way it worked, intellectually, but I wasn't thinking straight about it. At this point, I can safely say that my A1c is going to be higher than desired...I've been over 100 units more than I should be for 3/4 of the time I've got until I get the blood draw done. There's no way, with less than 3 weeks left, that the numbers are going to be good.
This doesn't mean "give up", though. It just means "mentally adjust to the fact that I'm probably going on insulin". I can recognize denial now. :0) I'm going to try to avoid it.
I've been looking at the situation entirely the wrong way, really. I've been seeing this as "My blood has too much sugar in it. If I watch what I'm doing and take my meds, it should go down, like a bank account that's in active use. $100 - $80 - $65 - $40..." And that's not how it works. I have been concentrating far too hard on the idea that my sugar is lower today than it was yesterday. Yes, it is, but not for the reasons or under the rationale I was thinking it was. It's not a matter of time...even watching everything I was supposed to watch and doing everything I was supposed to do, my daily fasting glucose was huge, by any reasonable standard. Which means that my body isn't going to work with me the way it's supposed to.
I mean, I knew that wasn't the way it worked, intellectually, but I wasn't thinking straight about it. At this point, I can safely say that my A1c is going to be higher than desired...I've been over 100 units more than I should be for 3/4 of the time I've got until I get the blood draw done. There's no way, with less than 3 weeks left, that the numbers are going to be good.
This doesn't mean "give up", though. It just means "mentally adjust to the fact that I'm probably going on insulin". I can recognize denial now. :0) I'm going to try to avoid it.