Jadeile's blog

Moved

jadeile — Fri, 02 Mar 2018 22:24:18 GMT

I got a couple of random "someone liked this post" today (I didn't even know you could like a post here??) and figured I'd throw people a bone.

Because LJ sucks, I have moved to Dreamwidth. Here's a link to my journal. Feel free to check me out there, if you like my style.

Cheers.

Why Aceness is made of awesome

jadeile — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 16:21:07 GMT

So youtube suggestion page suggested me a video about asexuality (gee, I wonder why :D), and I figured that I would watch it for the hell of it (I was needle-felting and wanted some background discussion videos to listen to anyway). And then it of course escalated from there and I spent an hour or two watching Ace-videos. So, now I'm all inspired to write this thingy here:

Reasons Why I'm Glad AF That I'm Asexual (in no particular order)

1. No chance of pregnancy
If there is one actual squick that I have, it's pregnancy. The idea is just super gross and I don't understand people who voluntarily do it. There's literally nothing about it that I want, not even the baby (I like children as long as they're older than 1, I don't have to look after them for too long, and they go away eventually. I'd never want one for myself, especially not under the age of 7). So, the fact that I'm not ever going to have sex with anyone means that there's zero chance of pregnancy for me! :D

2. No chance of STDs
No sex, no sex diseases either. Yay!

3. Little chance of having to share my bed
I like to be able to roll from one side of my big bed to another if I get hot and clammy, and I like having my cat sleep at one corner of the foot end undisturbed. So I don't want to share my bed, if possible. I'm not aromantic, so there is a chance I'll one day get into a relationship with someone, but I'm not really all that interested in it, so it's rather low. Also, even if I do get into a relationship our need to share a bed is, in my opinion, considerably lower because of my lack of want for sex or heavy petting. I could even use my ace-card to tell the person that I want my own space and if we live together they'll have to have their own bed. Heck, I'm not even sure if that would be "using a card" anyway, since I might even actually need the space >.>

4. Time saved by not having sex
From what I've heard, allosexual people in relationships have sex a lot. Like, a few times a week? Depending on how new the pair is and stuff. And while sometimes they have "quickies", sometimes their sessions with wooing and foreplay and everything can take a couple of hours. What an absolute waste of time! I'm perfectly happy to spend that time reading, playing, writing, cooking, crafting, whathaveyou. Even worse is if they're on a holiday and go like "Aaah, such peace and quiet and we don't have to change these sheets ourselves! Let's spend our precious holiday time having sex in the hotel!" D: What. So glad I'm not like that.

5. Time saved by not masturbating
Okay, TMI warning. Are you warned? You've been warned. ...okay, here's an extra warning. Now I'm getting right into it. So, I masturbate maybe two times a month, because my traitorous body demands it. Usually it's once on the week before my periods, but sometimes there's an extra time when I'm just randomly horny and need to do something about it. And it's such a tedious task that's not even worth it, but it's mandatory : | So, I need to either read a couple of very good smutty fanfics or, more often, I need to watch a few very select porn clips to get my body ready (and in the process I go through a lot of videos that don't do it for me and the searching is annoying AF). So, a lot of time is wasted on preparations. And then during the actual act I need to concentrate very hard on the images in my head (usually fandom characters I currently RP as with someone going at it) so that I don't get distracted by more interesting things. With any luck I quickly reach the part where I've had enough and can continue on without this stupid itch, but sometimes it takes me a damned long time because I keep getting distracted. And sometimes I just plain fail, and then I have to do this all over again in a couple of days! That's the freaking worst.
Okay, so I'm sure that for allosexuals it's not like this. For them it's probably easy. But since for me it's not, I'm super glad I don't have to do it more often. All that time saved. I only wish I didn't have to do it at all.

6. Thinking time/attention saved for more relevant things
Allosexual people seem to think about sex all the damned time, from what I've seen and heard. They apparently even get distracted by it every so often; since the thing about umbrellas turning around during strong wind was more than just a cartoon effect I assume people staring lustfully at other people and not noticing what's happening around them is a thing too. In short, my career as a Super Villain is more promising than for most other people, since I can't be distracted by Sexy People during a vital moment where the heroes proceed to do something behind my back. The victory will be mine, Muahahahahahahaha!

7. No need to worry about what others think of my body
Not that I'm overly worried anyway, cos who cares? But it helps that since I'm ace I'm not planning on flaunting my body to anyone in hopes of inciting them for sexy times, so I don't have to give a single fuck (get it? Eh, eh? :D). ... though this is really kind of irrelevant, since I'm actually rather hot by society's standards anyway.

8. "If you press the button you will have all the money you will ever need, BUT you will never have sex"
AHAHAHAHAHAHA! *smashes the button repeatedly* WIN-WIN SITUATION, BABY!

Slightly changed Top 10 Pokémon List

jadeile — Mon, 02 May 2016 22:42:53 GMT

I've been playing Pokemon X a lot recently, thanks to a friend of mine suddenly getting into it. So basically I've done a lot of breeding, training, and trading to attempt to finally complete my pokedex in this game, as I kinda gave up on it before because of the endless amount of trading it required. For your info, right now my pokedex is 674/721, with mostly legendaries and mythicals missing (plus randomly Scizor, Magmortal, Electiwire, Porygon2, Porygon Z, Gliscor, and Dusknoir. Though the last will be corrected when I trade with my friend again soon and get to finally evolve my Dusclops).

As such, I've gotten re-acquaintanced with some mons, and gotten to know some from the scratch, making my opinions on them change, mostly for the better. So I figured I'd update my top 10 lists accordingly. Here goes (with 95% less ranting about Black and White)!

Gen 1
Mewtwo
Raichu
Butterfree
Blastoise
Articuno
Charizard
Paras
Gyarados
Kadabra
Golbat

I figured that perhaps I should put in the Pokemon I actually love having in my team on the filler-ed bottom spots, since I do have a lot more fondness for them than I do for Flareon and Eevee, who were originally the bottomers. Although I do have an issue with Kadabra needing to be traded to evolve, since it usually makes me reluctant to love him as chances are I won't be keeping him, either in forever kind of way or at least not in my team for any longer than it takes to find another psychic type.
Also, kudos for Pidgeotto/Pidgeot, Clefairy, Vulpix, and surprisingly Dugtrio.

Gen 2
Maril
Crobat
Feraligatr
Espeon
Chikorita/Bayleef
Quilava
Misdreavus
Spinarak
Ho-Oh
Suicune

I inserted Chikorita/Bayleef (I can count them as one if I want to!) and Quilava in the middle. I had forgotten how adorable they are, like teenagers who try to be all that, but end up just being cute in the process.
Celebi and Pichu are thusly dropped out like the fillers they are.

Gen 3
Gardevoir
Beautifly
Vibrava/Flygon
Linoone
Grovyle
Salamence
Mudkip
Azuril
Surskit/Masquerain
Armaldo
+Manectric
+Shiftry

I added Masquerain next to Surskit. My initial reason of not liking it as much was because I resented it for dropping its water typing when it evolved, thus making it just another bug/flying instead of an actually useful bug/water it started out as. But nowadays I find myself not caring as much, it's still a cool looking fella.
Azuril and Mudkip dropped lower on the list, cos I actually like the others more on their own rights, while those two are more about what they represent.
Also, added Armaldo as yet another bug that I'm digging, now despite it not being a butterfly and being rock-type.

Gen 4
Shinx
Chingling
Scorupi/Drapion
Monferno
Turtwig
Piplup
Floatzel
Croagunk
Mamoswine
Drifloon

Piplup and Turtwig switched places as I realized that I'm not obligated to like the traitorous soon-to-be-steel-type penguin more anymore, since I'm not currently playing the game where it's my starter. Also, Drapion added to Scorupi's side, as I've learned to find it cute as well.
New additions of Croagunk and Mamoswine, who I randomly bonded with during my training/evolving sessions, as they took leading roles with my noob teams.
Also, I dropped Mothim's placement on the list to the point that it now got dropped out with Dusknoir.

Gen 5
Scolipede
Volcarona
Galvantula
Zebstrika
Dewott
Snivy
Audino
Haxorus
Woobat
Boldore

I still hate Black/White, just to be clear. I just appreciate its Pokemon roster more now that it's available elsewhere.
Snivy added because adorbs, even if its evolutions are still dumb.
Audino got ahead of Woobat because of how damned helpful a high-leveled one of them is when training against it! All the exp, wow!
Haxorus added purely because of how honestly scary looking it is. I always have a moment of irrational terror/panic when facing it, and that's awesome.
Dropped Chandelure and Emolga. Actually Boldore should have gone before Chandelure, but I have more fond memories of the former, so the latter took the fall instead.

Gen 6
Greninja
Vivillon
Noivern
Fennekin/Delphox
Goodra
Aegislash
Dragalge
Aurorus
Sylveon
Floette

Added Delphox next to Fennekin, because it's awesome.
Aegislash got in because I got fond of one when I trained it up to trade it away, but then the trade didn't happen and I could let myself love it after all.
Dragalge got here cos it's damn cool and creepy; kinda like Haxorus but less scary and more cool.
Tyrunt was blatantly replaced by much prettier Aurorus. I don't really understand what it was doing in the list in the first place? Did I mean Tyrantrum, who is cool, but got the names mixed? *shrug*
Sylveon added because if a youtuber named Dookieshed. I can't look at Sylveon without giggling anymore.
Floette dropped to the bottom of the list because the memories of it are going more and more to the bitter side of bittersweet. I even traded the Pokemon in question away.
So, Trevenant, Dedenne and Helioptile got dropped out, and I can't claim to give a crap about that. They were just fillers.

Now, the final Top 10!

Top 10 Of Actual Awesomeness
Mewtwo
Raichu
Gardevoir
Butterfree
Greninja
Vivillon
Vibrava/Flygon
Scolipede
Volcarona
Blastoise

I went and dropped Beautifly from the list in order to fit Blastoise in. Ironically Beautifly was the topmost butterfly, but I realized that honestly it's not one I would remember if asked to quickly list my faves. So it was more about me over-thinking it instead of going by my heart. And my heart says Blastoise definitely deserves and /needs/ to be in this; after all, if I need to list some of my faves of the top of my head, Blastoise gets mentioned.
Also, Galvantula was briefly considered, but just couldn't actually even dream of surpassing anyone. Not yet, at least.

So I'm just squeeing about Pillars of Eternity for a bit

jadeile — Fri, 11 Dec 2015 13:58:24 GMT

This is gonna be pretty incoherent at parts and certainly not following any rules of logic. That is, as much as posts made by me can be anything but hysterically organized to the point of being ridiculous. ... eh, I'm gonna type up stuff and try to not spend too much time organizing it, I just need to get these things out of my system.

Okay so Aloth and Edér are too precious to exist and I want to romance them both, but the game doesn't let me. Honestly though, I'd actually just go for Aloth, but I like Edér as well so hhhhhhnnnnnngggg!

Durance is an asshole and every time he opens his mouth I want to kick him out of the party. But he is too useful for me to do that, becauce Clerics are kind of necessary to have and I don't want to make a custom party members. So really, please stop talking, you dipshit.

Am I ever so glad to be done with Kana's quest so that I don't need to look at his fugly face anymore, or listen to his somehow very unpleasant voice, or have to deal with his uselessness. Good riddance, now sit quietly in the stronghold for the rest of the game. With freaking Grieving Mother. You two deserve each other. Too bad I can't toss Durance there as well. Although honestly, I think Grieving Mother would probably be a very good character in combat, but I can't stand her face, her personality, her voice, her opinions, or her backstory. In short, her whole presence. So sorry, you're never getting a fair chance with me.

Hiravias though! He is made of awesome XD I can't even articulate it properly, he is just somehow hilarious and adorable. I'm even making an attempt to utilize his skills as a druid instead of just using him as a mage. It's... hard. I'm just too used to abusing Jaheira in Baldur's Gate by forcing her to be a Warrior/Cleric and never using her shapeshifting for anything. This time though, I'm occasionally going out of my way to let Hiravias be the stealgar sometimes. I deserve a pat on the back for that.

Okay, so there's also Pallegina and Sagani. I honestly want to keep Sagani (and Itumaak) in my team, but Pallegina is more useful as a frontline fighter/tank : ( At least she is a decent companion so I don't need to have another hate/hate/hate/but-damn-s/he's-useful person like Durance on my team. So eh, Pallegina is fine, but only around because she's useful. Otherwise I'd have Sagani as a useful AND fun companion. Can't always win.

But really, the main thing I wanted to talk about is the freaking Caed Nua! Like seriously, have you /seen/ Brighthollow?? : DD It looks so comfy and homey and I just want to have allllll the characters living as a happy family in there. Most of them have their own rooms and that's damn precious! And Aloth likes to hang out around that bookcase by the stairs! I imagined he'd like that when I first saw it, and when I ditched my whole party just to see which rooms they'd each have he was actually standing in front of the bookcase and that made me so freaking happy you won't even believe! XD

Though despite seeing the actual room arrangements I'm still keeping my headcanons about it. Cos before I actually went out of my way to find out, I decided my own arrangements for them according to how my Watcher would want them. Namely: Aloth would be on the room right next to the bookcase because he'd like that, and also because that's the room closest to my Watcher. Sagani and Itumaak would have the room next to the stairs so that they could go outside anytime they wanted to without bothering anyone by sneaking past their doors. Durance and Grieving Mother would have their rooms as far away from my Watcher as possible because he can't stand them/is slightly unnerved by them, so he wants to keep his distance to them. Edér would share a room with Kana because they're both social and would enjoy having a roommate, as opposed to most of the other characters who would rather not. Hiravias would have also been a possibility for having a roomie, but he also has the tendency to shapeshift in his sleep and possibly hunt, so I wouldn't want to risk it. Wouldn't tell him that tho. Pallegina would have room next to Sagani so that they could collectively groan about the guys if they got annoying. Grieving Mother would also be nearby, although I kinda don't think she'd participate in much anything really.

I'm also thinking that there would be an epic disagreement about the fact that the Watcher is alone in his room and might be having his sleeping episodes with no supervising. Edér would start it by being worried about it and bringing his point up with everyone collectively, and my Watcher is kind of sensitive about it and also was looking forward to alone time so he gets huffy about it and kinda sneaks into his room and locks the door and it's gloriously angsty : D And then Aloth makes it better and omg, I can't even articulate the scene I have in my head unless I write it into an actual fanfiction, which I kinda might. Aaaaah~ <3

Edér, Sagani, and Kana would occasionally cook something in the epic kitchen. Aloth, Kana, Hiravias and the Watcher would sometimes tinker with stuff in the lab. My Watcher would often hang around by the fireplace and all the others (that I like) would drop by to check on him from time to time and maybe sit with him for a while. And Edér would always bring hot chocolate. Also, all the pets I've collected would live in the house/around the courtyard anyway and wander around being all cute and Edér would cuddle with all of them and be happy. Sagani would have to remind Itumaak to not eat them every day. And occasionally someone would remind Hiravias of it as well, just in case.

In my headcanon my Watcher also invites lots of random poor people to live in the stronghold too. Like, all the people who I've met and liked, and who could use better living arrangements would be instantly invited to live there. My Watcher is filthy rich because of my tendency to collect and sell everything I find, also stealing everything that I can get away with and bargaining with my quest givers to make them give me more treasure as a price for completing their stupid tasks, and killing every enemy I come across to for the loot... so, he could afford to have people live there without necessarily contributing in any way from the start. They could come up with ways to earn their keep in time, but it wouldn't even have to be much. I mean, the stronghold is independent so I don't have to pay taxes to anyone, so why not give away free housing when I have the spare room all over the place? I'm sure some of the people would be happy to start farming for food eventually and thus make the hold self-sustaining, so it would be win/win. We could have a happy little community there, and the Steward would surely be very happy if the place got lively again. Also, the cities these people came from would most likely be better off missing a few poor people.

From the top of my head, there'd be that pregnant woman from Gilded Vale, that guy whose ass I bailed out of Defiance Bay, that dude I saved from Raedric's Hold's prison (by the way, I'd totally try to claim that as well now that its previous owners are both dead and it's kind of desolated), that little aristocrat girl whose family died in Heritage Hill (pretty sure the preggers woman would adopt her happily), mayhaps I'd ask those hookers in Ondra's Gift if they'd rather have a different kind of life in my stronghold, and I'm sure there will be someone in Twin Elms too, once I properly explore the city. And in White March, once I get there. Plus people I've forgotten about, and people I'd randomly consider and who would go out of their way to plead it if this was an actual option in the game. Basically, anyone who could really use a better place to live and who'd pass my scrutiny for being a good person would be invited. They'd be free to say no or leave if they didn't like it, but I'd definitely offer. I mean, what better use I'd have for a hunking big stronghold that I went out of my way to rebuild and clean of monsters? Would be a waste to just let it rot while I'm away adventuring, and even when I'm not it's still just nine people at best, plus the poor merchants who only have one customer: me. And I mostly just sell shitloads of expensive stuff to them and buy nothing. Sersiouly, those guys should have a two-way thing: they'd buy stuff from me, and go elsewhere to sell it to people willing to pay the ridiculous prize. They'd make a fortune too, considering that I've brought them some seriously rare items from the depths of the keep and all.

Also, what's up with their shitty selection before I sold them stuff? I was so excited to have them around because I figured that they'd have some rare items to begin with, but nope, they had the most basic of selections, ir they had anything at all! The weapons/armors dude had all the basic and fine weapons and armors, but nothing cool. The ingredients lady had some semi-rare things and a bunch of common stuff, but nothing awesome, even as one-timers. The trap person had only two traps and nothing else at all! I actually feel so sorry for him that I never sell the traps I acquire anywhere else, just to make his selection larger. Same goes for the scroll priest, he only had two or maybe three scrolls and nothing else D: So I sell my extra scrolls and potions to him only to enlarge his selection as well.

At least the "general merchant" had a bunch of random stuff, some even actually cool, even if not a whole lot. Now I kinda use him as the person who I sell the things that I'm pretty sure aren't actually important, but I still have this small little feeling that I don't want to /actually/ lose these items forever in case they /do/ turn out to be relevant later. He can keep them safe if I want to buy them back at some point. I also sell him lots of junk whenever I visit my keep since his stand is right next to the treasury and thus I don't need to make an extra trip to the armors/weapons shop and spare myself two fucking loading screens (of doom). Although now I kind of regret it because it's bugging my organizing streak >.< I have so much extra money that I'm almost considering buying most of the stuff back from him just so I can go and sell them to the right guy instead. It's crazy. I'm probably not going to go through with it, but who knows, I might. It's not like there is anything in this game that I could use all this money on the way I normally spend it. *shrug*

Anything else... hmm, squeeing and whining about the companions, squeeing a lot about Caed Nua, opening up about my utopia ofit, whining about the merchants in it... I think that's about it for now. Of course there is a lot of other things to say, but these were the most pressing things that needed to be written down before they made my head explode.

So, I shall go back to actually playing the game~

What

jadeile — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 19:44:49 GMT

Why does my usually so yummy tea taste like pencil sharpenings right now? I don't think anyone has even sharpened a pencil in this house during the last year or so (could have been longer than that, but I'm taking into account the fact that I do sometimes [very rarely] utilize my coloured pencils). And even if they had, certainly nowhere near my tea cup and certainly not today o_o That, and I had a cup of this same tea from this same cup earlier today, so it's not the cup and logically shouldn't be the tea either??

It's not even mysteriously my tongue's fault, because I can also smell the sharpenings. Maybe it's my nose then, somehow? Cos a smell can totally affect the way I perceive the taste of something completely unrelated. But this still comes down to the fact that no pencils have been sharpened in this house so why would my nose be smelling such a scent? That, and only from my tea cup instead of everywhere.

Could it be the water then? Heck if I know, I suppose that's possible??

This is seriously weird and slightly spooky. But mostly kind of gross. *drinks it anyway*

Suddenly interested in people

jadeile — Mon, 14 Sep 2015 01:24:26 GMT

I feel that I'd currently really like to have a girlfriend. But I have some major problems with the implementation of the idea >.>

The biggest problem is the effort it'd take. I don't like going out of my way to do things : | I mean, if I want or need something enough, I will go through any trouble to achieve it, but most of the smaller wants are left unattended because I just can't be assed to do it. This isn't a necessity, and will most likely pass if I wait a few more days, so I probably don't have enough time to work up the motivation.

There's also the problem of not really knowing where to get a girlfriend. We don't have gay bars here in my home city, so that'll mean having no way of knowing whether someone would be receptive to advances in the first place, and that makes it difficult to approach people. And even if that is ignored, there's still the part of "where??" left. The traditional place is a pub, but I don't like pubs and I judge people who go to pubs (even though I don't say it out loud anymore for the sake of peace). So honestly, do I want someone I would judge for being there in the first place? Though honestly, pretty much everyone goes to pubs, so it's not like I could easily find someone like me anyway. And I quite simply don't know any other place where hitting on someone is socially acceptable enough for me to have the nerve to try it. So I suppose I would just need to endure the pub.

But lastly, there's a really big issue left. I'm asexual. So even though I want a girlfriend, I want someone who doesn't want to get in my pants >.> And unfortunately for non-Ace people sex is a really big deal in relationships, so finding someone who tolerates the idea of just kissing and cuddling is extremely challenging at my age (as teens that would have been perfectly okay).

So I'd need to get the patience to tolerate being in a pub. Then I'd need to find a woman who is a lesbian/bi/otherwise okay with having a relationship with another woman. And that woman would also need to either be an ace as well, or at least not mind a sex-free relationship. ... doesn't sound like a very likely combination. Plus of course this person would need to be otherwise tolerable as well, for example not be an asshole, preferably like some of the same things as I do so that we would have something to talk about, and not mind me being an anti-social little geek, who still lives with her parents, and is unemployed. Ouch.

Despite all the problems, I kinda have this half-serious idea of what I could do, if I got the actual motivation to make the effort. Here's the plan: I would indeed go to one of the local pubs, alone (because I don't want anyone witnessing the awkwardness, I wouldn't need to play social during my wait, and I could also leave any moment I want to). I would dress up nicely, but I would also paint an ace pride flag, and a bi-heart on my cheek(s). With any luck, my intended target would recognize them, because she would also be some kind of queer person, and as such might have done some research on it. That way, ideally, I would just have to sit there and look pretty and someone suitable would approach me!

Of course, the cons of that plan:
-Allllll the middle aged drunken men in the pub would approach me to ask me about the facepaint, and inquire if I was attending a bachelorette party. And then I would need to explain it to them. And they wouldn't get it. And they would hit on me. And that would be awful.
-Bars are awful and boring and needlessly awkward. I wouldn't know what to do with myself there. I mean, I wouldn't want to just sit there and do nothing for hours. But if I brought a book or my 3DS, I would seem damn weird, and possibly scare away the person I went there to meet, because they wouldn't want to disturb me when I'm obviously occupied. And if I brought drawing equipment, it would be the same, except I would also be constantly bothered by people, because people like to bother artists when they see them.
-I don't drink unless I have to. So I would sit there all sober and be annoyed by the drunks within 15 minutes.
-I wouldn't want to sit in a bar and not drink anything at all, so I would want to drink something alcohol-free. But damnit, the pubs in my home city really suck at making alcohol-free drinks! They're usually all "Durrrr, we have soda?? Or juice? ...milk?" like some idiots : | Dude, you can just mix some freaking soda with a couple of different syrups, and maybe go wild and add in some orange juice too, and that's it! An alcohol-free drink! It's not that freaking hard, you just don't know what to do without written instructions. But you don't trust me either if I tell you what to do. Geez!
-The bars almost never serve anything to eat, much less anything I would /want/ to eat, so I would soon be starving and that'd suck. Bringing my own snacks would just make me even weirder, and possibly invite unwanted people who would want to share them, and think with their drunken minds that it's perfectly okay an idea.
-... yeah, I honestly really fail at pubs.

...so yeah, I'm kinda still just thinking about this >.> Not sure if I'll actually implement it, or if I'll just wait for this urge to pass. Most likely the latter, because I wouldn't be able to do this anytime soon anyway, as I will be actually working the next two Saturdays, and logically this would need to be done on the weekend. Though I suppose I could just go on the Saturday/Sunday night, instead of the more popular Friday/Saturday. Eh, we'll see.

My OCPD strikes again at random

jadeile — Sat, 12 Sep 2015 16:43:01 GMT

I've been revising my old fanfics (fixing grammar, sentence structures, typos, awkward wording, excessive epithets, etc. but not the actual content), because why not.

The older English ones were pretty awful : D Some had even been betaed, but they were still riddled with missing commas, awkward sentences, and dubious grammar. I had some really sucky beta reader right there >.> I remember that she was useful and indeed fixed some of the biggest mistakes, especially concerning sayings and common phrases, but apparently she wasn't all that good with grammar. Eh, the fics she helped with were better than the completely un-betaed ones though, so I gotta be grateful regardless of the less than perfect quality.

But yeah, the awkward English certainly explains why one fic in particular hasn't accumulated much reviews or faves during the years, while most of my other English fics have done a decent job at it. Cos this one particular fic, especially the second half of it (the first part had been suck-betaed, the second part not even that much), was absolutely horrible (when it comes to grammar. The content is decent enough). Not as horrible as some of the fics I've seen, but I would certainly backbutton from it myself. Some of the sentences were just... mangled. Absolutely mangled. I mean, I could still understand what I was getting at there, possibly because I'm the one who wrote it, but damn, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry (spoiler alert: I laughed). I'm embarrassed it's been sitting in public, free for anyone to read, for years. I wonder how many people labeled me as a sucky author based on that alone >.<

Thankfully though, it was just that one fic that was cringe-worthy. All the others were legible enough, although they certainly got some heavy editing. But at the very least the other fics read "This is written by an ESL. Pardon the imperfect English" to me, and I didn't feel like I would need backbutton from them if I had just ran across them on ffnet. Regardless, I'm glad they're now all cleaned up. That ought to make them easier to read, and less embarrassing to me.

The Finnish fics though. I have a lot more of them than I have English ones, so I haven't finished going through them yet. However, I can already see how this goes. I'm excellent at Finnish, and these are all very well written - there isn't going to be a whole lot of problems here, so mostly just double-checking and prettifying. It's actually funny how I always seem to downplay my younger-self's skills in my mind, and keep remembering that my old fics were somehow not that stellar when it comes to plot, characterization, describing, and whatnot. But in truth they are actually still very good, with the exception of a couple of bad apples (and even they aren't horri-bad, just slightly boring). So although I'm not going to actually rewrite anything, I still won't have anything that is just grammatically sound but otherwise embarrassing. Yay for being awesome!

And cos this is my journal, I'm allowed to make lists of things that nobody cares about. So here's some in-depth info about exactly what kind of issues I do or don't have with my Finnish fics.

-I don't do typos much, so I didn't need to fix more than a handful.

-My grammar has been excellent all along, so I only had to add a few commas here and there, and even those were the optional kind, or the kind people wouldn't even notice missing.

-I occasionally had a few clipped sentences in rows that I combined together for better readability. As well as a few run-on-ish sentences that I clipped shorter, or used semicolons for clarity. Not that many really, and they were more of a stylistic choise than an actually necessary change.

-I'm generally careful about the tense in my fics, so I didn't have to fix any sudden tense changes.

-My biggest issue was that, at a certain point of my fic writing career, I liked to use waaayyy too many epithets, because everyone did it then. So I had a lot of "the black-haired man", "the younger boy", "the *insert profession*", "the *insert physical characteristic*" all over my fics. I removed most of them, and instead used names or pronouns. And those few I didn't remove, for variety's sake, were the kind I find acceptable enough in the situation; as in no hair colours as epithets, unless of course it was a point in the fic itself (like in "Be My Queen", where Luffy obsesses over Nami's hair, and thus she is "the orange-haired woman" every now and then).

-I also changed "boy/girl" to "man/woman" whenever the character in question was older than 15-ish, because honestly, they wouldn't label themselves that way anymore at that point. Of course, exception being if the fic's POV character is an actual adult and refers to the kid. Just... logic applied to suit the fic.

-I couldn't resist doing some small prettifying changes either >.> Like adding an extra word/sentence here, changing the wording slightly there. But nothing that was strictly necessary, so it kinda doesn't count as "fixing a horrible old fic" kinda thing.

Rambling about dieting

jadeile — Thu, 20 Aug 2015 18:46:30 GMT

So I'm currently trying to lose a little bit of weight. I'm actually not quite overweight, but recently I got close to the line between "normal weight" and "slightly overweight" thanks to first visiting my sister for a week and then her coming here to visit us for over a month. She likes to bake and she's also pregnant, so that meant everyone eating waaayyy more than usual. In the end I found myself with three extra kilos compared to my usual weight. I don't like this development : |

Now, I don't actually give a whole lot of fucks about what others think of my body, so this is not any ridiculous society pressure thingy. But I do have a problem if the extra kilos makes my pants and shirts tighter than they used to be. I like my damned clothes, I don't want to be forced to buy a new wardrobe because of getting pudgy! Also, I find my butt and thighs displeasing to my eye right now too because of the extra (extra) fat on them. So yeah, some fat kilos need to leave.

I've been "dieting" for almost three weeks now, and I've got some good results out of it too! Within the first two weeks I lost one whole kilo, and now I've lost "and then some", which will hopefully become another kilo by the four weeks mark. That's pretty awesome progress in my opinion, not to mention that I actually have a pretty simple way for it too.

I eat less sweets and ride my exercise bike for 15 minutes each day.

That sounds really pathetic and like nothing when put like that, but for me that's plenty enough. Both because of the apparent results and because this is something I can keep doing on a regular basis without giving up.

Because I like analysing and explaining, I'm gonna do just that now.

1) "Less sweets"? Really, how about "no sweets"? >.>

Yes well, I really like sweets. Honestly, it's a wonder I haven't gone overweight long ago. Eh, I probably have good genes, I'm still rather young, and I generally eat small portions of food, not to mention forgetting to eat at all if inspiration strikes me hard enough. Good enough an explanation for me.

"Less sweets" also includes "not allowed to buy sweets (unless it's a special occasion or if I actually completely run out) or suggest anyone else (mom) to buy them for me" which means I'll have to make do with the stash I already have and whatever mom happens to buy without my influence. Knowing that I have limited resources makes me automatically ration them and that means that when I do eat them I savour them and enjoy them more. And it means I eat less by default instead of truly forcing it.

In any case, trying to apply a complete ban on sweets would be disastrous for me for following reasons:
a) If I knew I wasn't able to eat sweets at all I would crave them all the freaking time. That would be annoying.
b) Mom would find my declining of sweets very weird and get worried.
c) I would eventually break the stupid rule and most likely go "screw this, it's not like I actually need to lose weight" and possibly drop the diet as a whole.
d) When I'm eventually satisfied with my weight again I'm going to go back to eating sweets anyway. If I dropped them completely and then got back to them in one fell swoop, I would probably gain some of the weight back very fast from the sudden re-introduction of sugar into my diet. If I just keep eating them moderately all along, the sugar intake will be included in my average calorie intake and not take my system by surprise.

So yeah, "no sweets" would be counter productive in the long run.

2) 15 minutes, really? : |

I'm lazy and I've always hated exercising. I just don't do physical labor any more than I need to do to get by (yet somehow that's more than many other people seem to do, considering that I'm still in relatively better shape than some people I know?? I can lift more, I have more stamina, I don't even know how that's possible considering how little I do. Maybe going up and down the stairs on a daily basis helps? Or my tendency to walk to places if I can get there within half an hour that way?). Also, the worst part about working out is sweating. I hate it. That, and I feel like I'm wasting my time doing it; time that could be used for reading or drawing or playing or doing something else hedonistic. So quite honestly, 15 minutes per day is an impressive feat for me.

In fact, it's surprising that I can keep myself doing even this, despite hating everything about it. But here are the reasons why I can suspend my complete hate and do it:
a) The bike is at my home; I don't have to go anywhere to do this stupid exercising. So it's basically just the square 15 minutes, no time wasted on the trips back and forth, and very little amount of self-persuasion is needed to just go to another room (versus talking myself into making the trip to the gym or something. Laziness and excuses have a good chance of winning that argument).
b) 15 minutes is long enough to be sort of effective, but not so long that I feel like I wouldn't be willing to spare it. Cos dude, 15 minutes isn't much at all. Surely I can spare that time.
c) Bike is made for sitting. Sitting leaves my hands free. Free hands means I can hold my cellphone, a comic book, a light book, or my 3DS while my legs work, and thus I can keep myself distracted from the work I'm doing. Sometimes I can even get distracted enough to do overtime!
d) 15 minutes is way better than nothing. It's far from ideal, but if I know I don't have the patience or willingness to go for the ideal, it's better to aim low and keep doing it than aim high and fail because of it being too much. In short: this is enough, nobody asks for more than you can do, and you're a good girl for doing it. I'm proud of you, self.

If I get used to this routine maybe I'll manage to keep doing it even after I meet my goal. After all, this whole deal isn't a lot, so it's not too much to ask for to keep at it. If I forced myself to do more, it would be a guarantee that I'd drop it as soon as I could. But this? This I think I can handle on a regular basis.

And the thing that makes a diet successful isn't how fast you can lose as much weight as possible; it's being able to change your life style permanently for the better and keep your weight where you want it to be.

Pokémon Types

jadeile — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 20:39:17 GMT

I recently made a Top 10 Pokémon List and thought about making some notes about the Pokémon types; which I like and which I don't. However, I didn't have the energy for it back then and kind of forgot about it afterwards. A moment ago I re-read the list for some reason and I figured I'd now make the types analyze post I had planned.

Types I like

Psychic, water, electric, bug, dragon, fairy

-I always have a psychic type in my team, as soon as the game gives me one. If not psychic type, then someone who can learn a psychic move can fill the role, like most of the butterfly mons, until I get a legit psychic. Also, mmmm, Mewtwo, there's always room in my team for you.
-I always pick the water starter when I play some gen for the first time. [I tend to get both games (possibly the third one as well when it's a thing) eventually, and in the next playthroughs I try to vary and pick someone else. Usually it tends to be the grass starter, but I may pick fire as well if the Pokémon is cute/cool/awesome while the grass is stupid/ugly.] In some games I may have two water types temporarily because I need another one to be my HM slave *glares at gen2 for its need for surf, whirlpool and waterfall and gen3 for its need for surf, waterfall and dive* *that's 2-many water HMs, guys*
-I always have Raichu in my team if the game makes that possible early enough. If not Raichu, then some other electric type. ...which may or may not be replaced with Raichu when that's possible.
-I didn't originally like bugs in general, just Butterfree in particular. However, when I realized that bugs were universally dissed by everyone I decided that I would start liking them to balance it out (also to battle the stereotype of girls hating bugs). Eventually I found myself honestly liking them. Go figger : D Also, I tend to dual type to bug/flying because butterflies.
-I don't usually have dragon types in my team, but for some reason I still like them. Mostly because dragons in general are awesome.
-Fairy type is awesome! I'm not sure what about it makes me like it, other than it balancing the OP dragon type, but I dig the heck outta it! ... well, I think one thing in its favour is that Gardevoir duals as one, and that eliminated its weakness for dark types conveniently. However, I don't see myself keeping a plain fairy type along, it'd need to be dual type.

Types that I don't like but don't dislike either

flying, grass, normal, rock, ground, fire, ice, ghost, poison

-There's always a flying type in my team. Mostly because of Fly and because my bugs dual type. ...but if butterflies could learn Fly, I would immediately utilize that and stop taking spare flying types in my team.
-Most of the time I have a grass type in my team. It tends to be my Cut-slave first and foremost, but I also sorta like the type in general. I tend to avoid grass/poison combo because it's so common it's annoying. I love Paras/Parasect because it's bug/grass.
-Normal types are boring, but I don't really have anything against them otherwise. They can make good HM-slaves when they're strong enough to learn Strength and Rock Smash, even better if they also learn Cut, and best ever if they can learn surf too. ...although I feel sorry for them in that case.
-I almost like rock types. They tend to be the ones I take in my team to balance my otherwise special-heavy set, and I like how they just don't give a damn about the regular normal type attacks that most NPC-trainer mons have in their move sets. Make good Rock Smash and Strength slaves too, if I can't find myself a versatile all-HM-slave. I favour rock/ground combo so that the mon gets the good looks and durability of the rock types and the electric type destruction skills of the ground type (cos really, I have water, flying and flying bugs in my team. It's kinda weak to electric, and my Raichu sure can't be helpful there either).
-See above. Electric type destruction gives this type a plus. Otherwise I don't like it all that much. So, rock/ground dual.
-I don't have strong feelings about fire, but I admit that I like it the least when it comes to starter types. It's very rare that I have a fire-type in my team, unless it's my starter. Or randomly in-game-given Charizard, or Volcarona. Basically, it needs to dual type with some other type I like (or in Charizard's case, look like a dragon).
-Ice is meh, but I don't dislike it. I'll gladly have water/ice dual type if my starter ain't water type. Takes away the grass weakness and gives Blizzard stab.
-Ghost is in this section only because I don't outright dislike it.
-Poison is really meh, but I don't dislike it. ...well, I dislike it a little bit, because it tries to dual itself with all the grass and the bug types and that's annoying because otherwise we could have some more interesting combos. But I can live with it. However, I certainly won't be seen with a pure poison type.

Types I don't like

fighting, dark, steel

-Fighting is reeeeaaally meh. It has to be the most boring type in existence. And fighter mons tend to look stupid/ugly. Not in my team, unless it's a stupid fire/fighter starter, in which case I don't really have much of an option but to tolerate it for the sake of loving my starter.
-Dark : | Stop wrecking my psychic types, and start making sense with your weaknesses so that I can one day remember them. Although by now I know that Mewtwo has an answer against you, so that's not so biggie, and Gardevoir dualed to fairy and thus isn't weak against you anymore. So maybe I'll stop disliking you soon. Maybe. But you won't be in my team, except maybe as a dual type for some otherwise awesome mon (like Greninja).
-Augh, steel! U must u be so annoying?! You took the good quality of the rock types and turned it ANNOYING AS HELL BECAUSE OF YOUR RESISTANCE TO MOST TYPES AND FAILURE TO BE WEAK TO WATER AND/OR GRASS! ... as in, my own team tends to not have a decent answer against steel types and that makes them frustrating to fight against, and that makes me dislike them. That, and in general I tend to favour special attackers so the type started with low points in my eyes (with rock and ground) but only went lower because of making my life difficult. Regardless, you're not welcome in my team! ... only exception being the penguin starter who sneakily evolved into water/steel type, but only the fact that it was my starter kept me from boxing it. Barely. But I'm never choosing Piplup as my starter in those games again. Ooh, I dislike steel so much that I much prefer having a freaking fire/fighter over the water/steel! How's that : |

Aand that's about it! Until the games introduce a new type again, that is : D

Pokémon Top 10

jadeile — Sat, 17 Jan 2015 02:38:23 GMT

I just randomly watched a youtube video about someone's top ten Pokémon list, and felt like making my own. However, I think I'll make a list for each gen just for fairness' sake. And then a final list with only the ultimate top ten.

Gen 1
Mewtwo
Raichu
Butterfree
Blastoise
Articuno
Charizard
Paras
Gyarados
Flareon
Eevee

Out of those, the top four come instantly into my mind whenever I consider my favourites.
The last two I actually needed to stop and think about hard to come up with something. Flareon came easily enough, but Eevee is just kind of there as a filler, though it's still accurate enough.

Gen 2
Maril
Crobat
Feraligatr
Espeon
Misdreavus
Spinarak
Ho-Oh
Suicune
Celebi
Pichu

The first three were obvious to me, the rest I had to think about. Out of those legendaries on the bottom, Ho-Oh is the only one I've actually used for anything. Heck, I don't even have a Celebi (woe is the glaring hole in my otherwise perfect Pokedex in the original Gold). But they're just cool.
Pichu is a total filler, but I do like it anyway.

Gen 3
Gardevoir
Beautifly
Vibrava/Flygon (I'm counting them as one cos I can. I couldn't decide which I love more)
Azuril
Linoone
Mudkip
Grovyle
Salamence
Surskit
Manectric
... +Shiftry

Damn, in this one I actually don't have a single filler! I even have an extra mon that I couldn't fit into the list but I wanted to put it there anyway. Again, the top three are obvious choises.

Gen 4
Shinx
Chingling
Scorupi
Monferno
Piplup
Turtwig
Mothim
Floatzel
Drifloon
Dusknoir

This gen sucks, apparently (that is, when it comes to it's new Pokémon). Only Shinx came straight from the heart, all the other ones I needed to force out. The next three were easy enough, but with the rest I just kind of looked at the list and went "Eh, I suppose this one will do". I didn't even bother putting those in order of favourites, they're just numerological.

Gen 5
Scolipede
Volcarona
Galvantula
Zebstrika
Dewott
Woobat
Audino
Chandelure
Boldore
Emolga

Rant begins. Let me just start by saying that I didn't like Black and White as games. I didn't even bother buying Black 2 or White 2. It's just... what irritated me the most was the whole bullshit with gaining considerably less exp from Pokémon that were lower level than your own. I like to over-train my team so that they're about 10 levels higher than their opponents at any given time, cos I'm paranoid and I don't ever want to lose to anybody in the games. Guess what? This bullshit game made that frustrating as hell because as soon as my Pokémon were like 2 levels higher than the wild ones the exp gaining practically stopped progressing because of how little exp my mons gained from each battle. I hated every minute of my grinding, and that's bad when it's a game where your little monsters progress mainly by leveling up. /Rant over.

I had to look up the names of half of these mons, because I honestly didn't remember them (even though I actually do like these mons) : | ... sorry, rant was supposed to be over. I've got to hand it to this game though that it gave us some hardcore bugs! Seriously, those top three here, I freaking love them. ...although Volcarona requires needlessly high level to evolve (actually, there are many of these in this gen)! ... sorry again. Audino is awesome, it gives lots of exp, unlike the rest of these fuc-- sorry again.

........ okay, I'll stop being sorry and let it out!

All the starters evolved into fugly mofos! Actually, most of the fully evolved mons in this games are awful! Sewaddle, why didn't you become a pretty butterfly or a dragonfly like you looked you'd become, or damnit, why did Leavanny have to look so freaking dumb when a mantis mon could have potentially been so damn cool?!! I haven't even met half of those legendaries! Why did this game forcefeed some of the mons to me, like the monkey ones in the beginning? It wasn't even subtle about it! And damnit, the Pokémon selection was so narrow at all times that I was forced to use some bullshit mons I didn't even want in my team cos otherwise it woulda been just my starter and I until around the third or fourth gym! Liepard, why did you suck so much? You were a kitty, I wanted a kitty, but you sucked ass and dragged me down from the beginning to the day I put you in the PC! I didn't even finish this stupid game, I just cleared the Pokémon League (...I think I did, but I'm actually not sure) and pretty much left it at that! This game SUCKS!

Gen 6
Greninja
Vivillon
Floette
Noivern
Fennekin
Goodra
Tyrunt
Treventant
~~Raichutwo~~ Dedenne
Helioptile

The first two were obvious, Floette came naturally after a bit of thinking, the rest are more or less fillers. They aren't really in much of an order.

That's all the generations? That's all the generations.

Now, the final Top 10!

Top 10 Of Actual Awesomeness
Mewtwo
Raichu
Gardevoir
Beautifly
Butterfree
Greninja
Vivillon
Vibrava/Flygon
Scolipede
Volcarona

Half of these are bugs. And Vibrara/Flygon would be a bug if a third type was allowed. And out of those bugs, four are butterflies. What can I say, prettyful. ... I'm dreaming of the day when I can have an entire team of just butterflies! *merrily ignores Venomoth, Mothim and Dustox* *while hugging Volcarona*
The first three are on my final team in every game whenever possible. Though with Mewtwo and Gardevoir, it tends to be that Gardevoir is with me up until the point where I get Mewtwo, and then sadly gets replaced. *coughgen5suckedcosIcouldgetneither!*
The list covers my favourites types nicely too. Those would be psychic, water, bug, electric and dragon.
Though there's surprisinly little water types here? Oh right, they're mostly in this list, which is...

The Ones That Were Considered But Got Dropped Out
Blastoise
Feraligatr
Maril
Crobat
Shinx

I feel bad for not putting Blastoise on my Top 10 : | I'm actually still not 100% sure that Volcarona and Blastoise shouldn't be swapping places. But eh, the first gen had enough representation in that list; that's actually the sole reason here.

And now we're done! :D That took surprisingly long~

I wonder if this is how people in general react or if it's just the introverts or something

jadeile — Fri, 05 Dec 2014 22:57:27 GMT

So I'm just slightly freaking out here. Teeny tiny little bit. Like, a bit difficult to type with shaking hands.

My family plus a bunch of other people are downstairs having a "Little Christmas" party. Not gonna explain that one just now. I'm not participating because I don't drink alcoholic stuff all that much and I can't stand drunken people while sober. ... okay so I can't stand them while drunk either but that's beside the point. But just now I decided to go make myself a sammich despite the people there. Alas, I'm immediately targetted by this random woman who I think is the wife/girlfriend/whatnot of one of the guys there.

Apparently my mom or someone else has told her that I'm an artist and she claims to have some artistic straits as well and wants to see some of my paintings. She's awfully touchy-feely (like holding my hands at random, wanting to hug, playing with my hair all the time, damn creepy but fairly innocent drunken business) so to get out of there I agree and run upstairs to get a few paintings and to have a small freak-out session. Then I go back with the paintings and show them to her. She's all impressed and stuff and while that's a little awkward to deal with that's fine, I can handle it. But when she's done holding my paintings she goes right back to touchy-feely while praising my skills and whatnot. And it's awful D: I'm like "Ahaha, yeah, I'm impressive *eyes darting around like crazy* yeah, definitely agree with you *can't you notice how tense I am?* Whoops, IthinkI'llgotakethesebackupstairskay?K!Bye!"

And now I'm all shakey and freaking out and geede3ldsch kuadhfukgadikikfg I didn't even know that I'd react like this. I mean, I'm well aware I don't like dealing with strangers and don't want to spend a whole lot of time with crowds of people, but I had no freaking clue I'd actually Freak. Out. at someone being touchy-feely drunk. I would have expected not liking it, finding it disturbing and creepy, and wanting to flee, but not all of it being this intense. Seriously, I thought this only happened to other people who are anti-social or introverted or whatelseyouhave people who can't deal with other people. I haven't had symptons like this before. Then again I haven't beenunexpectedly touched in this manner by strangers before >.>

fglsghjshghslohjkhslglsdhglkhsdlghl! DD: I want to crawl up under my blanket and not come out ever. And freaking why won't my hands stop shaking?! It's inconvenient and distressing.

Why do I even care

jadeile — Tue, 11 Nov 2014 20:00:29 GMT

LJ sure doesn't like adding any kind of FAQ about the widgets it has in the feed nowadays. Cos I'd appreciate knowing whether or not I can have any control over what journals it shows in the Entries widget. Now it just adds any journal that I've checked once into it and is all:
"Are you interested? Are you, are you?? Here's more bullshit entries from the journal you accidentally clicked at!! Let me bury all the actually useful entries under the ones from this stupidass journal you didn't follow quite on purpose! I see you were interested in this journal (No I wasn't), so here's more stuff from it!"
No : |

So what I'd like to have would be some kind of editable list of the journals the widget is digging at so that I could remove any BS from it and only leave the actually semi-interesting ones. Because right now the widget makes me hesitant to visit any new journals as it'll immediately latch on them whether I want it or not.

... I suppose I could also just follow any journal that I find somewhat interesting and remove the widget from my feed. But it just has so much potential that it bothers me.

Ugh.

This isn't gonna make all that much sense, I just need to get it out

jadeile — Wed, 05 Nov 2014 19:51:12 GMT

Afafhldfhlshglsghi! D: Fandoms! Fandoms in my head! Annoyingly at the same time with a burning intensity >.< It's like...

I want to write Jarlaxle. Desperately. I opened up the fanfic I'm doing with the intention to write but at the same time that's not actually what I want to do. I want to RP with my newfound Artemis. But she's not online right now so that's not possible.

At the same time I now feel the greatest urge to go play as Discord and cause some glorious, glorious CHAOS in the forum I'm running! I haven't done that in a couple of months now because Discord took a vacation from my head when Jarlaxle came in all "Hi, Imma take the driver's seat now, you can go do something fun in the meanwhile and take some time off. Bye!" So this is actually great!

But my head was too messed up to write anything because of an annoying song playing there on repeat, so I went to youtube and put on another song to rid myself of the first one. But the damned song gave me serious Mewtwo feels and now I'm like, I have got to do something with Mewtwo, maybe draw him or see if my old RP partner is willing to get back to our game/even has the time to do that in the first place. Or I could do... something, I don't even know, look at pictures others have made? Or see about finding some AMVs. I don't even know.

And then there's Raistlin sneaking in the shadows too! I'm not even sure what he wants but he is there all hourglass eyes and red robes and sarcastic smirks!

My head is a mess and gives me million directions at once : | Stahp!

Oh, and happy birthday to me.

Whining ramble

jadeile — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 19:01:47 GMT

I'm suddenly back to fanfic writing, and I'm writing them in English for some reason (Forgotten Realms, Jarlaxle/Entreri, if you were wondering). I decided to get myself a beta reader to fix any grammar errors, weird sentences and anything else that may generally go wrong with fics. And success, I found myself one!

My beta is made of awesome when it comes to fixing my stuff. She hasn't had a whole lot to do really, cos my English is fine for the most part, but the little things she gets to point out are super useful. I do awkward sentences every now and then, but my biggest problem seems to be that I like to apply ESL logic to things where I can't go the direct way (due to not knowing the word/saying/other), and the logic... isn't always obvious to other people, apparently. She points those things out and then helps me find the right way to say it once I explain to her what I meant. It's great! She's great!

But the problem is that she is very slow/busy. The story I'm doing is a 50 prompts challenge thing, so I'm writing a big bunch of drabbles/short stories. In fact, I wrote about five of them ready before I even started looking for a beta, cos I wanted to see if I'm actually going to make this thing happen or just write the first drabble and then get bored/lazy. By the time I managed to get her in, I had eight stories and had already published the first two because I got impatient - I got the eternal silence from the first person I asked, declining from the second person (said he already had enough on his platter for now) and my beta took a couple of days to answer too, so it was a good week or so of waiting by then. ... I usually publish right away after I'm done writing (or I don't publish at all), so having to wait to do so got me antsy as hell, okay?

So I had already published the first chapters by the time my beta jumped in (funny though, she answered my query about half an hour after I published. Bad luck on my part, I suppose). However, now that it's a choise I want to get all the other chapters properly proof read before posting them, so this means that I can't post anything that my beta hasn't looked at yet. She took a couple of days to get back to me about the first two chapters, and then she also had the time to do two more during the same day, so yay! I immediately published the third chapter, but decided to keep the fourth chapter unpublished for the time being, in case it'd take her a while to get the next two done. Besides, my original plan had been to publish daily, but two days had passed between the initial publishing and the third chapter, so if I wanted to apply logic I'd now post every two days if possible. Besides, that'd give my beta more time to get the work done.

I waited two days and published the fourth chapter. No word from my beta yet. Now it's been two days since that and I'm a little down about not having a new chapter to post, but that's actually no biggie. I mean, my readers (I actually have them! How awesome is that?!) might have picked up the pattern, but I haven't made any promises to anyone, so if they have their hopes up it's their own fault. Plus no-one is gonna die from the lack of updates, and one would think that my beta would have free time on the weekend at the latest. So really, no biggie.

Except for the fact that I got inspired to draw some self-fanart for chapter nine and the picture is definitely gonna be done sooner than my beta will have even proofed chapter nine if we work at this rate and then I'm gonna have to wait two-ish weeks until I can post this picture anywhere, at least if I want to stick to my plan of posting the picture on tumblr with the drabble to go with it! D: FFFFFFFFF-!!

Yeah, that's my own fault OTL I dug my own damn grave. I'm just already antsy about posting this pic and it's not even ready yet! And if I have to wait for two weeks while staring at it longingly, then I might start to hate the picture before I even have the chance to post it! Any of you artists out there know that's always a possibility, no matter how good the picture looks right now. In short, me and my picture are doomed D:

I'm kinda thinking of chucking chapter nine at my beta after she's done with five and six, even if that might mean that updating the actual fic would be postponed because of the lack of material after I've put those two up (since I can't just upload chapter nine before chapters seven and eight. Post it elsewhere? Sure. But into the actual fic? Nope). But even this plan would require that my beta gets back to me soon and then has the time to proof read some more right away. It's completely possible that during the weekend she just proofs the two chapters she had under her scrutiny right now, and then kicks back and relaxes and leaves me hanging for another week. Oh, the agony!

But yeah. I don't blame my beta for being slow. I mean, people other than me tend to have actual lives, like jobs and family and working out and whatnot. So I don't blame her for spending her free time after her work doing something she thinks is fun and relaxing, and leaving this voluntary slavery for weekends when she has more free time and thus using an hour or two for this doesn't feel like wasting all of the day.

I just secretly wish that she wouldn't make me wait for too long with this particular issue, please OTL

Found an awesome test

jadeile — Fri, 02 Aug 2013 13:41:43 GMT

Awesomesauce test with 129 questions. I had bunch of fun doing it and didn't really see much cheating changes that one could easily use to just get the class they want. So I think it's quite legit. What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?

Chaotic Neutral Human Rogue (2nd Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-11
Dexterity-13
Constitution-14
Intelligence-13
Wisdom-15
Charisma-15

Alignment:
Chaotic Neutral A chaotic neutral character follows his whims. He is an individualist first and last. He values his own liberty but doesn't strive to protect others' freedom. He avoids authority, resents restrictions, and challenges traditions. A chaotic neutral character does not intentionally disrupt organizations as part of a campaign of anarchy. To do so, he would have to be motivated either by good (and a desire to liberate others) or evil (and a desire to make those different from himself suffer). A chaotic neutral character may be unpredictable, but his behavior is not totally random. He is not as likely to jump off a bridge as to cross it. Chaotic neutral is the best alignment you can be because it represents true freedom from both society's restrictions and a do-gooder's zeal. However, chaotic neutral can be a dangerous alignment when it seeks to eliminate all authority, harmony, and order in society.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:
Rogues have little in common with each other. While some - maybe even the majority - are stealthy thieves, many serve as scouts, spies, investigators, diplomats, and simple thugs. Rogues are versatile, adaptable, and skilled at getting what others don't want them to get. While not equal to a fighter in combat, a rogue knows how to hit where it hurts, and a sneak attack can dish out a lot of damage. Rogues also seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to avoiding danger. Experienced rogues develop nearly magical powers and skills as they master the arts of stealth, evasion, and sneak attacks. In addition, while not capable of casting spells on their own, a rogue can sometimes 'fake it' well enough to cast spells from scrolls, activate wands, and use just about any other magic item.

Extra details about my results (mostly for my own records):

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXX (13)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (15)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (16)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (20)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (15)

Law & Chaos:
Law ----- XXXXX (5)
Neutral - XXXXXX (6)
Chaos --- XXXXXXXXXX (10)

Good & Evil:
Good ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Evil ---- XXXXX (5)

Race:
Human ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXX (13)
Dwarf ---- XXXX (4)
Elf ------ XXXXXXXX (8)
Gnome ---- XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Halfling - XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Half-Orc - XXXX (4)

Class:
Barbarian - (-4)
Bard ------ XX (2)
Cleric ---- (0)
Druid ----- XX (2)
Fighter --- (-4)
Monk ------ (-21)
Paladin --- (-25)
Ranger ---- (-2)
Rogue ----- XXXXXXXX (8)
Sorcerer -- (0)
Wizard ---- XX (2)

A How (Not) To -Guide

jadeile — Tue, 04 Jun 2013 12:12:00 GMT

Early Mornings for Nocturnal People - A How (Not) To -Guide

So, you usually stay up until 4-5 AM and then sleep until 2 PM. Dentist appointments tend to be early in the morning. How to proceed? Follow these 20 easy steps!

1. Receive the appointment notice at least a month before the date, write it down on your calendar so you won't miss it.

2. Proceed to forget about it otherwise because, hey, it's in your calendar so you will see it when the time comes.

3. Live your life like a boss.

4. It's Sunday-Monday night and 4 AM, turn the calendar page to see the new week.

5. Notice you have a dentist appointment 8 AM on Tuesday.

6. Panic.

7. No, don't panic. You can still salvage this situation.

8. Set your alarm clock early for tomorrow so that your rhythm will magically be turned upside-down on a day's notice. You know, you will wake up early and then be sleepy the whole day and go to bed earlier, right? And then Tuesday will be a success!

9. Feel sorry for yourself and give yourself a couple of more hours for tomorrow morning after all. You don't want to be loopy tomorrow because of getting only four hours of sleep. The plan should work like this too, right?

10. Sleep, then wake up for a moment in the middle of the night like usual to sip some water and glance at the clock. Feel even more sorry for yourself and reset the alarm to give yourself a couple of more hours again.

11. Wake up at 12 PM semi-chipper and feel accomplished because you shaved two hours from your sleep!

12. Go to bed early (a little after 11 PM) like a Responsible Adult.

13. Fall asleep only after an hour of spinning, yay!

14. Wake up an hour later, your brain going "Okay, you got your nap, now it's internet time!!!1!one!" and telling you that for the next three hours.

15. Fall asleep again around 4-5 AM.

16. Wake up at 7 AM, feeling like zombie.

17. Go to dentist and manage to act like a normal person there because your brain is still semi-charged.

18. Come home and don't go back to bed because that's for Losers and not for Responsible Adults.

19. Have your brain catch up on the fact that it got too little sleep last night.

20. LOOOPYYYY!

Night vision or something

jadeile — Wed, 15 May 2013 21:31:41 GMT

I just randomly want to share something, well, random.

You know when sometimes you have to move from place A (usually your bed) to place B in the middle of the night when it's pitch black and you can't see where you're going but you don't want to turn on the lights for some reason? Yeah, we're probably all familiar with that.

You proceed to move very slowly and feel around with your hands, but fortunately you've lived in this place for the last forever so at least you know the general direction and where the furniture is located. And you know to shuffle instead of walk so that you won't step on your cat and kill the both of you, instead you will just sort of kick it a little and both of you will be annoyed but at least alive. Still with me?

So, that's what normal people do. I do that too. But then there's one little addition that I don't know if others do or if it's just me being weird. And that's closing my eyes.

For some bizarre reason when it's dark enough and I really can't see much at all, I will close my eyes and somehow that makes the trip easier. Except for when I feel that I might be going in the wrong direction and hitting something, in which case I'll open my eyes just a little bit and feel like I'm somehow cheating here. Then I'll close my eyes again and keep going, somehow convinced that opening them had helped me navigate forward even though I hadn't been able to see a damn thing because it's dark and it doesn't freaking matter whether my eyes are open or closed because it doesn't make a difference. And despite knowing all this, I still keep doing it every single time. Even when sometimes I tell myself that it's ridiculous and doesn't do anything. Nope, I'll still do it.

...that's it. I didn't have anything else to say here.

Young Justice

jadeile — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 23:42:35 GMT

Decided to finally give Young Justice a shot today. I'm on the third episode now and I need to let a couple of things out before continuing the watching:
1. Oh for the love of-- Robin, your little "battle laugh" is damn annoying and embarrassing. Please stop.
2. Miss Martian. Where to even begin : | She better get some serious character development very soon. I mean, she's being the girly stereotype (goes with being the token girl) plus also the stereotypical "foreigner". Gah, infuriating!
3. Here we go once again, underplaying the power the Flash/Kid Flash has. He's supposed to be fast as lightning but somehow all the enemies can still avoid him and hit him. They shouldn't be able to even see what hit them. Though yeah, the speedsters always have to be toned down a lot because otherwise they'd be way overpowered, but this is ridiculous, his talent is practically useless here. Maybe it'll get better though.

Otherwise I'm enjoying the show so far.

Some internet cleaning

jadeile — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:40:40 GMT

Today something prompted me to google my real name and my internet nickname to see what can be found. Thankfully my real name provided nothing embarrassing and wasn't in any suspicious sites. Or at least not too many and the couple odd sites that had it had nothing else on them, so it was pretty much like people search with no results. So if someone googles my name they'll only find out that I'm active in politics, I've graduated from High School, I sell crafts and I have a facebook account. Good.

My internet nick, Jadeile, on the other hand found some more stuff.
-Of course there were all my sites and some blog posts and comments I've done and such. The most important ones were lined up as the first results too, awesome.
-Then I found some old stuff that didn't need to exist, like some forums I was in that were long dead (couldn't even delete my account in most of them, so I just deleted my profile info), some old websites I had nothing to do with anymore (account deletion there too) and so on.
-Then there was some annoying Jade Ile -thing that kept popping up and had some foreign language attached to it. But it has nothing to do with me, so whatever. Then some Jade Isle, pfft :D Nothing to do with me though, so ignored it.
-Then... there were surprisingly many video sites that had my videos in them. Had no clue there were that many nowadays. But they all just listed my videos and the videos itself were hosted by my youtube account instead of having been actually uploaded to some strange site by some impersonator, so I don't mind much. Btw, the only video sites I actually belong to and have uploaded my videos to are youtube and vimeo. I used to have veoh account too but I deleted it today. And used to have megavideo account but that site is dead. So anywhere else is not me.
-The most bothersome thing is that there's some foreign boy whose actual name (I think) seems to be Jadeile Edo, so he goes by Jadeile in some places. And there was two other Jadeiles who weren't me, like some horse game person and some random blogger. Thankfully they seemed to only use the name in said places instead of everywhere ever (possibly because I'm Jadeile everywhere ever so it's taken in a good few places). For the record, my blog accounts are this one and tumblr (plus deviantart times two and fimfiction, but they're not primarily blogs). Anywhere else is not me. Though it's really pretty easy to tell if it's me or not, I usually link back and forth between my accounts.

That's it for today, random internet clean-up done. For now.

Okay, this is highly suspicious

jadeile — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 01:07:11 GMT

So, I got this PM in youtube:

"Hi Jadeile,

I'm a talent scout for AdRev Talent network and I am ecxited to extend you an invitation to become a YouTube partner by joining our network of passionate creators:

Get started here: http://talent.adrev.net/talent-network

This is a genuine offer for partnership and I apologize in advance if it isn't the case that you are excited about this opportunity and promise not to contact you again.

However if you are really excited about this then I'll give you some more info. You'll be able to get your own custom banner, access to higher performing ads for greater revenues, and there are some perks exlusive to our network including access to copyright free audio to use in your content.

You can get more info here: http://talent.adrev.net/talent-network

Kindest regards,

- Brandon"

I'm really not sure what to think about it. My first reaction is to dismiss it as spam and think it's fraud. It's just too good to be true and generally randomly PMing people with offers like that is just suspicious. So I decided to google-fu a bit. ... and I found pretty much nothing. I was expecting loads of "Beware! This is bullshit!" posts in different forums, but there was just next to nothing. Some very old videos accused AdRev of some bullshit copyright claims in youtube but that isn't really the same. Sure, it could be the same company and it eventually got caught from its bullshit and started a new thing, but I'm not sure. It could as well be a different company that chose an unfortunate name.

So after I found nothing I decided to finally check their site (which I had avoided doing because I didn't want viruses, spam or anything else nasty, or give them any ideas that their site is popular). ... it actually seems sorta legit, but still too good to be true. Seriously not gonna sign up to check what it's all about because I don't want any bullshit. Damnit, I wouldn't be interested even if it was real, but right now I just want to prove it bullshit so badly that it's ridiculous. Has my internet defensive barrier gotten too high now and I'm paranoidly pointing an accusing finger at everything ever? Or am I justified in being careful? I might never find out.

Blekko

jadeile — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 14:06:08 GMT

Today something very odd happened with my Firefox: when I opened a new tab, instead of getting the usual nine boxes that contain the sites I go to daily, I got this Blekko search engine.

Needless to say, I was rather confused as to how the eff it got there without me installing it or anything. Plus it irritated me because I had gotten used to the convenient boxes from before plus I'm rather content using Google as my search engine. So I figured that I'd get rid of it. It had these little links on bottom left where I was sure I'd find the uninstall button or something else that'd work.

As if.

Yes, they had instructions on how to get rid of it, but none of those actually worked. I tried everything they suggested but I still got the freaking Blekko laughing at me every time I hopefully opened a new tab.

So I googled for help, figuring that I can't be the only one bothered by this. Luckily I found this very useful page. Starting from the top I tried the suggested things and started to feel rather hopeless when none of them helped me. Then, finally I found the source of my problems:
"The newest release of the "Ad-Aware" Antivirus program has blekko included as part of its toolbar. You can go to the uninstall programs in Windows and remove it from there"

Yes! I have Ad-Aware on my computer (even though nowadays it won't let me update because it doesn't like my F-Secure. Tough luck, Ad-Aware, I've paid for my F-S so you're gonna have to bear with it and just never be updated again. You're useful though so you can stay) so maybe that's where this piece of dung Blekko came from.

So I went and deleted the Ad-Aware toolbar and YAY! The stupid unwanted tab hogging browser hijacking malware of a search engine is gone!

And why am I sharing this? In case any of you run into this same problem.

RAGE!

jadeile — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 18:28:27 GMT

Here will be lots of swearing because I'm pissed off and need to vent.

What the everloving fuck is wrong with you, youtube?! I thought the fucking epic fail of a page I suddenly had to tolerate the day before yesterday was just a screwed up bug and it'd be gone soon, but nooooooo, apparently it isn't going anywhere anytime soon!
It's. Fucked. Up. And. Useless. And. Makes. Me. Angry. When. It. Doesn't. Work. The. Way. It. Did. Before. When. It. Was. Still. Convenient. To. Me!
The page you're giving me now is a useless little sonova bitch! I JUST WANT TO SEE THE VIDEOS THE PEOPLE I'VE SUBSCRIBED TO HAVE POSTED, I COULDN'T CARE THE FUCK LESS WHAT THEY'VE FAVOURITED OR COMMENTED TO OR ANY OF THAT SHIT! GIVE ME BACK THE OPTION WHERE I CAN PICK TO ONLY SEE THEIR NEW VIDEOS! I'M NOT INTERESTED IN THEIR FAVES! I SUBSCRIBED TO THEM FOR THEIR OWN VIDEOS! NOT THEIR FUCKING FAVES!
And why the hell do you think it's a good and smart idea to mix your idiotic recommended videos in that same bitching list?! It just makes it even harder for me to find those videos that I want to see!!
KUSEHFKADHFKSEGFADIFLUYEDILADEFGSFDK!!!

This better actually be a fucking bug because if youtube stays this way I'm gonna have to flip a few tables! In the general direction of the people who maintain youtube. Hurry the hell up with fixing the issue!

TL;DR: Youtube is messed up to me for some reason. I hope it's a bug that will get fixed soon. It's been three days now. I'm unhappy about it.

Cryptic happiness from some mysterious solved problem

jadeile — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 19:48:39 GMT

Today a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. A whole year's worth of agony and my greatest source of stress was suddenly solved. That little dark corner with no escape suddenly opened up when I had been so close to giving up on ever finding a way out. I could cry my eyes off. Well, truthfully I already did that and damn did it feel good.

And here's a video to express my feelings because words aren't enough.

Pottermore

jadeile — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 17:32:17 GMT

Fuck this.
A little while ago everyone was hypeing about Pottermore and after some time I also made an account there, but in the end I pretty much forgot about it until now (I started reading the HP books again recently because I had nothing else to read).

Well, now I was all enthusiastic about playing, especially getting my wand and being sorted, curious how those would end up. ... but instead of that I got stuck in Diagon alley : | I googled my problem and found a solution: don't play on a laptop, the coding sucks and you can't see the ground on the alley, where the important piece of paper you need to pick up is located.
.......
But I only have a laptop D: My mom only has a laptop too! My little bro has a desk top computer, but first of all he uses it and second I really really REALLY don't want to play in his filthy room with his slimy keyboard : |

Also, the site's "help" page is the opposite of helpful : | "We monitor Pottermore continuously, so if there is a genuine problem with the site, we’re probably working on it and you won’t need to inform us. The best thing to do is to come back in a little while and try again" ... as in "You can't contact us in any way about how something doesn't work, just hope that maybe we'll notice it and do something about it. Even though we probably use desk tops and not laptops (because if we used those we would have noticed this little problem when we made it) and thus we aren't very likely to notice your problem, trololololol! :DD" Thanks for the "help". Yeah, thanks a lot. Assholes.

Sugar on top? That answer I found on google was dated last August, so almost a year ago.

Raeg time

jadeile — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 00:40:28 GMT

Youtube is an assfucked sonovabitch that should be tortured and mutilated until its own fucking creators can't recognize it anymore!
Oh wait.
They already did that themselves : |
I hate the new look, I fucking hate its ugly and useless guts! Mostly the useless part, I don't really care about how it looks as long as I can use it the way I want. Which I can't anymore.
I just want my fucking favourites to be visible on my channel so that I can easily watch them and share them with others. Is that really too much to ask? Apparently it is. Youtube doesn't support connecting with other people via seeing their favourites, and it's unthinkable that I should be able to see their faves so that I could perhaps find something cool from there. Nonono, no seeing anyone's favourite videos through their channels, now it's aalllll nice and private and fucking rendering using the whole site goddamn useless.
Sure sure, you can make your "faving activity" visible on your channel. Isn't it nice, you can see the last about 50 videos you've faved instead of being able to see everything you've ever faved? :DDDDD Who wants to see everything everything you've faved? Surely only the recent stuff counts, there is no way there could ever have been anything interesting in the tube for you to have faved, say, two years ago. Hahahaha! Wheee!