Turning a page
A few words reflecting on one year of this Substack experiment, recharging after three months of tour, moving to Santa Barbara, grief, playing catch up & new music
It’s Halloween. October is about over. By the time I actually finish and publish this, it’ll likely be November. Can’t believe that. Most folks I know are out celebrating in some form or another. While in part it sounds nice, maybe mingling a little with people I barely know, and some folks I’m getting to know better, I’ve been burning on all cylinders for quite some time now and a quiet minute sounds like the move.
I opted for a long walk in the new neighborhood. Trying to see where this coastal path ends. Followed it until it spilled out into another neighborhood, must of walked for a few miles at least.
Right now I have this one particular song stuck on repeat. That’s how my ocd tends to pop up these days, I’ll fixate on something, explore the feeling of it and just enjoy whatever it is about that tune that pulled me in. Song of Good Hope by: Glenn Hansard. Heard it randomly online while doom scrolling. The words are really hitting. The first verse especially.
‘If we’re gonna make it, cross this river alive, you need to think like a boat and go with the tide. And I know where you’ve been, has really left you in doubt, of ever finding a harbor, of figuring this out. And you’re gonna need, all the help you can get, So lift up your arms now, and reach for it.’
With the kind of year this past one has been, that resonates.
Picking up where I left off. I’ve been writing this current entry in chunks over a stretch of time. Go figure. That is how my life has been lately. One week of intense focus on something then switching gears to whatever the next thing is.
Often, I find myself daydreaming. Disassociating maybe.
I had this thought the other day about how my brain’s tendency to wander hasn’t changed or let up at all since I was a kid. It makes me feel sometimes like I’m still 12 or 13 years old. I’m learning to not hate that. There is a benefit when your brain is wired a certain way I suppose, which I recognize, however it does make navigating “normal” life sometimes more of a hassle then it needs to be. I still struggle with feeling guilty over the almost impossible task of squeezing my mind into a structure that likely doesn’t suit it.
No complaints really. Just reflecting.
It’s been quite a rollercoaster year hasn’t it? I’m very grateful to anyone who has stuck with me for this amount of time, looking forward to continuing to build and evolve this newsletter. I have some ideas for the future, we’ll see how that comes together. At the bottom I’ve included a an old demo of a song I found recently. Hope you enjoy and thank you to everyone and anyone who find themselves here. Means a lot.
Now for a coffee induced ramble, relating to well...coffee.
After a couple weeks of looking through boxes, reusable bags stuffed with random ingredients, a cacophony of recently released items from storage and the general frustration of trying to find one specific thing after moving, I finally decided to order some more Aeropress filters.
Things are a little all over the place.
My brother’s partner turned me onto another option for making coffee. French press is good. Pour over is great. Aeropress might be the best.
Today is the first day I’ve been able to execute this little ritual I have with coffee. It’s one more thing that helps this new place feel like home and helps me feel a little more steady.
Update: The french press broke. I’m living in Santa Barbara now. Storage unit is empty.
While sipping on this morning cup, in the not so back of my mind, I know that I’m procrastinating. I have a black belt in that. A masters degree. A doctorate. Slipping into random tangential thought and distracting myself with one thing when I should be focusing on another.
Maybe I’m just waking up. Yes, that’s likely it. It couldn’t be anything else. I’m trying to remember the non stimulant version of a medication that helps with ADHD, my friend mentioned it over the summer and I think it’s likely about time I give something like that a shot.
I must confess my guilt in not writing on here for a minute - I’ve missed the regular typing of words. The slow burn. More my speed. Simple and more wholesome somehow than a lot of the other platforms we mostly find ourselves performing on at one time or another. Helps you feel a little more present.
Flash forward.
Things have calmed down a little, I feel like I can get back into more of a rhythm again. I’ll say it one more time; I’m happy and truly grateful to whomever has continued to subscribe and follow along. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Touring twice back to back over the course of three to four months while also moving was, to use one word, exhilarating, but not a decision I would recommend lightly. It is what I needed to do for myself though, at that moment in time. I’m still playing catch up in a lot of ways. Still sorting through a lot. Throwing all your stuff in storage the day you leave for tour, after a snap decision that’s been brewing for a while, well - it’s a choice. Being on the road with Hot Freaks & Dante Elephante, then jumping right onto the Antonio Barret & Gardens and Villa run was really something. A lot of positive experiences and dynamic experiences. Grateful for the work and opportunity. As many ups and downs as tour life can have, there is a freedom that comes from having really no other choice other then to surrender to the moment, to where you are at that time, it almost feels like the only way to get by. To move forward day to day. I was able to focus on other areas in my life that I haven’t addressed for some time. Did a lot of internal work. Silver linings. Glass half full type beat.
As the dust clears, I’m very grateful for the area in Santa Barbara I’ve ended up. It’s a good change to where I’ve felt glued. Maybe Nashville or LA next. I’ve finally entered the phase in my life where I’m saying yes more to a variety of opportunities or situations that present themselves, just pulling on different threads and seeing where they lead. Trying to cultivate more growth.
Full disclosure though, keeping this busy has always been my way of processing tough situations, the changes and things life can throw your way - the most recent heavy thing being the passing of my mom, it’s been almost seven months now.
I think about her every day. I wish I could share with her the things I’ve been experiencing. Life in general. She’d love this spot and this area. She’d love the close proximity to the ocean and mountains. Reaching out for her thoughts or opinions is a hard instinct to fight. I miss her, greatly.
The sun is rising now. Listening to the sound of birds outside the window as I’m typing. A lot of hummingbirds hang out there. Another reminder of mom. It’s a Tuesday now. Daylight savings just happened, why that still is a thing is beyond me.
Another song I’ve been starting to enjoy a lot lately is one that my student is learning, always showing me the neatest little country gems. This one I hadn’t heard in a minute and upon hearing it now with fresh ears and a different perspective, it’s also going on repeat. The song is ‘Lookin’ For Love’ by: Johnny Lee, from the 1980’s motion picture Urban Cowboy. There are some other good ones on that soundtrack. Funny enough, I still haven’t seen the movie.
There is a bee now buzzing around inside, door was left open and I gotta go deal with that. Be right back…
I’m thinking of doing a little spring cleaning early with this newsletter, inspired by a friend who I found out recently is also on this platform - Jonie Online - worth checking out her Substack if you haven’t yet. Anyhow, there are a few things I’d like to tackle but first on that to do list is a name change. The name I’ve had for this publication since inception has been ‘Coffee & Chords with Cole”. I’m thinking of shortening it or coming up with something else entirely.
My question to you is; Do you think the name in its current state is too long? My feeling is yes, but I’d love your thoughts on it. The other options I’m juggling are:
Coffee with Cole
Coffee & Chords
Jacob’s Ladder
Let me know what you think in the comments below, would love and appreciate hearing from you! Open to suggestion. Whatever that may be. Even if a majority thought would be to keep the original name and chill out. Thank you kindly in advance.
Prior to all the craziness and everything that happened over these past few months, I finished a couple of recordings with my friend Grey Bear. One of them I’ve mentioned on here before. The other I just released this past week. The name of the track being ‘Waiting On Tomorrow’. Suffice to say it feels good to get something new out there in the world.
My friend Cecilia James did the artwork. I love how it turned out. Her work is always a favorite, one might say; chef’s kiss. You can find the song, if you haven’t heard it yet, pretty much streaming anywhere and everywhere. The other track ‘The Contender’ I did a soft release of back in June but I’ll be doing a proper release of that soon. Thinking the end of the month if I can get the funds together. It would be fun to do a music video as well, I suppose we’ll see.
This particular tune comes from a batch of songs I started working on during the summer of 2020. I kind of forgot about those songs and left them by the way side in favor of recording a newer batch of songs in 2023. That record is still in the works but for some reason around the time of my mom’s health really declining, I became inspired to revisit these older ones. For a variety of reasons, that cosmically I’m not totally sure of, it just intuitively feels right. I guess it’s all relative. Just got off the phone, as it happens, with my friend and recording partner Bear. I think we are gonna try moving forward to finally finish this original record. In truth I’d like to finish both albums as soon as possible but given limited resources, I have to go with my gut on this one.
The drums, bass and acoustic guitars are all done. So that leaves guitars, vocals and whatever additional instrumentation sounds fitting track by track. It’s all a head game at the end of the day but funny enough, and likely due to their age, I feel a little looser and less pressure on these tracks, like I can have a little more fun and stretch out. Hopefully that translates in a positive way.
In addition to getting motivated to finish some of my tracks, the Dante Elephante crew has also been working on a new record. The songs are all there, we’ve got parts more or less worked out - of course with some room for what can happen in the studio, just to need to head down to LA to start building on the recently recording drum tracks. Looking forward to that.
Dante also just put out a new live record. We recorded this over the course of a weekend in April 2023, live at Soho Music Club in Santa Barbara. Streaming everywhere. There is currently a pre-order going for the vinyl, which you can find here if interested - https://www.diggersfactory.com/vinyl/321540/dante-elephante-back-in-santa-barbara-live
Well now, I think this little catch up is winding down. Thank you dear reader for sticking with me this long. I look forward to continuing to share and hope that we can stay connected along the way.
It is also not lost on me that as I’m likely finishing these thoughts and words, this will come out on Election Day. As my friend said last night, Godspeed to us all.
Most folks who know me outside of this platform know I enjoy occasionally talking politics, conspiracy theories, societal matters and what not, however as a general rule, I tend to believe that most of the time participating in this online isn’t in the world’s best interest. For myself at least. On this level. Things can get distorted easily and taken out of context. We forgot about what it means to have a good faith debate or conversation. Things become emotional or personal at light speed and there is a level of civility that can be lost when staring at a screen. I believe we benefit more from diversity of thought in person, talking with other people in the room. Establishing things we have in common before moving into potentially uncomfortable territory, because at least then you’ll hopefully remember that in truth, and despite what the headlines say, we do actually have quite a bit more in common with one another then you’d otherwise believe. It might seem counterintuitive, who knows.
Something I truly value from touring over the years as a musician, is seeing this sort of thing first hand. I’ve learned from talking and meeting with a lot of different people, from all backgrounds and walks of life, about the capacity to which an individual can hold a surprising amount of varying opinions, values and beliefs that even just as recently as a few short years ago, we would of deemed improbable. The midterms in 2022 are a strong example of this. There is a real tangible dynamic at play that I find fascinating, and speaks to a greater realignment that seems to have been subtly happening for quite some time. Suffice to say, even though division seems to be encouraged by the powers that be, it’s hard to put anyone in a box.
For better or worse, people never seem to surprise me. Which is one reason why, regardless of who wins, and maybe naively, I’ll remain a little more optimistic. My own hope is that we can continue to find ways to talk with each other, especially with the folks you disagree with and find some kind of common ground. Once you get past the partisanship and divisive rhetoric, you might find it surprising how many people actually agree with you on more things than not. It’s a sliding scale of course, but to me that’s a start. Hope you’re able to vote your conscience wherever you are.
On that note, I’ll leave you with a quote from the late great Quincy Jones:
“You make your mistakes to learn how to get to the good stuff. Imagine what a harmonious world it could be if every single person, both young and old shared a little of what they are good at doing.”
Thank you again and I’ll see you on the other side. More coming soon. Best wishes with all and sending love out there.
Xoxo,
J
(P.S. Here is the promised track, from those 2020 sessions, False Pretenses.)











Always a pleasure to hear about your world: the ups, downs, and inbetweens. Sending hugs.
Coffee with Cole~ Great read man💯. Congrats on the Doctorate, and enjoy the downtime and new nature trails in SB. Lets finish some killer music!